ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - November 21st 2025

Episode Date: November 20, 2025

On today's episode of the Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley Big Pod, what was the worst kiss of your life? Raccoon News Shrinkflation is hitting bakers SLP - Would you put Menstrual Blood on your face to be hotter? Eminem is suing Top 6 - Things that wont be happening at Christmas this year Is Timothee Chalamet a rapper? Study says we are fat and sat Movie News What did you do at your school talent show? Fact of the day Worst kiss of your life? See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

From the ZN Podcast Network This is Fleshwin and Haley's Big Pod Brought to you by Chemist Warehouse The Biggest Brands at the lowest prices Good morning, happy Friday, welcome to the show Fletch Fawn and Haley Two Minutes past six Haley joining us from our Nelson studio

The Rutherford Hotel Oh, okay, fancy Yeah, this is that nice one that has the vintage car In the foyer, you know? Oh, really? Lovely. They love their vintage cars down here. Yeah, I remember when I lived in Nelson,

that's where all the sports teams would say like the All Blacks and stuff. Oh, really? Farron Town. Yeah, well, you know, pretty posh. I'm going to tell you what, though, Nelson, my God, the sunshine yesterday. Beautiful. Didn't realize, do we talk about this,

that Nelson came second in the sunniest place this year? Well, it's quite often over the years won it. Yeah, it has. Who was the sunniest place? Blenheim, yeah. Yeah, Blenheim. Atop of the South, it's always gorgeous. It's stunning.

It's stunning. We should move. Fiercely competitive. They are. Now, last night, seven days live, Haley and Nelson, but tonight you're in Wellington. We are in Wellington at the fabulous opera house. And then tomorrow, Parmy North.

Okay, well, still ticket, seven days. com.com. If you want to buy some tickets. Will you be, when you go from Wellington to Palmer's the North, you'll be taking the Lundy Highway? You won't be flying or Oh my God, you can take the train No, surely we'll be in a fan

No, you'll be in the van You'll be in the van, we'll be in a van, hot It'll just be a little van, a rental car or a van Now coming up on the show, Vaughn you've got the top six for us Yeah, apparently mum's a quiet quitting Christmas Fair enough And you know what? Fear, bloody enough What are they relinquishing control of the Christmas meal?

Yeah, just step in there. Because, what, they're sick of everybody? You know, mum's totally going to be able to step back and not be involved. Absolutely hands off, you know, just sit back, let you do it. That's famously good at that. Well, I've got the top six things that won't be happening this Christmas because mum's quiet quitting. Next on the show, though.

Move across gay sheep, because Shannon has a new animal passion. We have raccoon news next. Love a trash panda. The Z&M Podcast Network. Now, producer Shannon wants to share with us some news, and it is titled Raccoon News, and so we immediately said, let's start the show. show with that. Yeah, cute, because it's cute.

It is incredibly cute and it's scientific. I've got facts guys. Okay. A new study has come out of the University of Arkansas. Arkansas. And they're talking about raccoons which are notoriously like pesty over there you know. I love raccoons.

So cute. Well this new science has come out that they are evolving to become cuter because they want to get fed more by humans. What? So basically raccoons that are found in areas that have humans, their snouts are getting shorter and their faces are getting cuter

and like smushier because we feed them more but in the areas where there's no humans and they're just off on their own will they still look as the same. Yeah because that would be the one thing I'd change about a raccoon is I'd give it more of a cat

smushy cat and so basically you're evolving to look more domesticated is what they're doing. Do you think they're a bit pointy for you Fletch? Bit too pointy. Yeah I like a smushy nose

like my cat. Smushed snout. Yeah, my cat's smushy. Looks like they ran into a wall kind of style. Well, not that fun. I don't like those flat cats. They look like they run into a wall. No.

Exotic. Exotic. Like the Japanese ones. Yeah, yeah. And then they always get the gunky eyes. Those ones. They can't breathe. They're cute.

Yeah, they're cute. But I like a bit more of a fluffy face. A fat head as well, because a raccoon's got a big fat body and then their head is out of proportion. So a slightly bigger head would be nice. The whole study is like wild. There's a rural. suburban continuum and they've based on exactly how big their snouts are and the angle of the snout based on the amount of humans around them and yeah they're trying to get cuter is it so we're

not feeding the ugly ones we're and so the evolution's like oh oh yeah makes them cuter right is there a way that we can do this as humans make ourselves cute there must be a physical reason for it to get fed hmm to fit into tiny cans that's what I'm thinking is it like rubbish bins or They need them longer in the wild. The whole study from the University of Arkansas is saying that it is to domesticate themselves, to become more apparent to humans. But you can't just choose to have a shorter nose.

Well, it's evolution, right? It has to happen over many generations. Like the one that had that slight mutational difference. Evolution adapts to the environment around you, right? So it's... Does it have to be physical, though? Well, I've just seen you a photo of this raccoon in the study. This is the most domesticated raccoon.

Oh, my God. That's perfect. I want that. But that's also a baby, which is unfair because babies are always cute. Oh, yeah. Like puppies are always cuter, aren't they? Yeah. Yeah.

That is so cute, though. That is cute. I love raccoon. I think humans get cuter as we get older. I don't know if we do. You keep telling yourself that, hon. See all the cute boys around and you're like, that's cute. The Fletchhorn and Haley, big pod.

It seems at the moment everything's getting smaller but me. Well, we do actually have to discuss today the, what is it, the New Zealand Health Report? We've all had a report done on us, and apparently, guys, it's not good. Spoiler, yeah, it's not great. Spoiler is not good. A bit of a blowout? Yeah, if those jeans are feeling a little tighter, there's a reason. You're not alone.

I've moved to exclusively stretchy pants, so then I don't notice. it's hard. Yeah, good. But I mean everything, we talk about this a bit, shrinkflation, products getting smaller, you're getting less of the product for the same amount of money, chocolate blocks are smaller, bickies are smaller, chips.

Yeah. Chips are smaller. Rations, burger rings, they're all little. You can't even propose with them anymore. Yeah, apples, bananas, they've all shrunk. Everything's tiny. Well, do you know who's hating this? I actually would disagree on the banana side of things.

I feel like bananas are bigger than ever. You guys, I think I would have a complex. I might have a wopper in my bag here. I feel a bit weird buying a wopper banana. Oh no, that's not a wopper, but that's pretty big. That's as big as I'd go. Would you? Some of the big ones, I'm like, it's like you're eating two bananas.

Yeah. It's too much. Do you consider that to be big, Vaughn? Well, that's a two-hander. Right. No, you've gone down over the balls. No, I haven't gone. Yeah, you've included balls.

You've included balls. I have come shy of the tip and I'm finished before the hills. I mean, you'd be happy with that. That's a two-hander. You'd be happy with that. Oh, that is perfect. Not in this colour. You wouldn't want to this colour or these spots

might need to be checked out by a doctor. And if you had that weird kind of like knob on the end, yeah, yeah, it's a tapered little nib at the end. Getting that burnt off at the doctor. Ah, little nib. What do you know who is, um, get a burnt off air like a wart. Oh. Like some sort of, yeah, black nib wart on the tip of you.

Anyway, do you know who is feeling the impact of shrinkflation as bakers, like, people, because a lot of recipes won't say, say you're making a bicky base, say you're making a cheesecake and we're making a bickie base. Like the Shannon's famous Biscoth lolly cake. Yes, okay. So usually in a recipe like that, it'll say one packet of digestive biscuits or one packet of da-da-da-da, but now we're not taking into account the fact that a packet of those bickies are all so much smaller.

We're getting less. Even like chocolate chip cookies, a block of chocolate. It's not a block anymore. It's not a block anymore. It's almost like a block and a half. Shannon, you make quite famously the Biscoff lolly cake. I was thinking this, the explorer lollies I use. I actually noticed last time that the bag was a lot smaller.

And I was like, we're getting less lolly per cake. So now what are you got to buy a bag and a half? Well, I don't know, because I always make a double batch for you guys because you... We're pigs. We're pigs. Again, we'll be dealing with that more after seven in the House of Study Report. I always buy two bags But would I need to buy three now?

I know But this is the thing Like the recipes Because also recipes We always refer to old recipes Recipes and books and stuff That's not getting updated So when it says one packet of

You know baking's a science We're just not getting as much Your main stuff Like your butter and sugar's always in a specific amount though Isn't it? Yeah Gram or cup Sweating condensed milk is always a can

I've never seen a recipe be like how many mills of sweetening sweets. Yeah, but have they shrink-flated that? They wouldn't dare. They wouldn't do it. Definitely lollies and bickies. But I did find guys a new lollie cake recipe that I might try before the end of the year for you.

Tell. Two towel. It's got like, you know, like a mixed lolly bag, like a party mix. No, I'm sorry. No, but like it looks really good. No, I'm sorry. I'm not having sour squirms in my lollie cake.

I'm sorry. I'm talking like banana. Oh, no. I'm not having, with full respect, Shannon, because you know I love your lollicake. I'm not having a quarter of a milk bottle in my lolley. Why are you trying to improve on perfection? Oh my God, ooh. Imagine biting down on a mint leaf.

Spearlet leaf. I'm really dumb with it. I like the sound of this. Yeah, well, okay, I'll make it for Carmen or nine. A fruit boost. And a jaffer? Oh, my God, there's a jaffer in your lollie cake. Yeah.

What are you talking about? Wait a minute. Because it feels like, hold on, hold on a minute. No, if we're putting different jellies in there, maybe we get some good jellies and put the jellies. Maybe fruit tubes. Maybe. I'm sending it to you now

and you guys are going to bite your word. That kind of gives me Christmas energy. No, it's getting too zesty. Like cherries. The thing with the Explorer lollies, they're so smooth and sort of milking that goes with it. Are you calling them Explorers, eh? Piece of madness.

I accidentally called them the old word the other day. My children were on me so quick. Cancel, cancel. The Zem podcast network. It's so silly, silly, silly that a silly little pole Silly little pole Silly little pole Silly little pole

Silly little pole Today's silly little poll It's thanks to Mick Cafe Mick Cafe keep the show on the road One cup at a time Speaking of cups Oh no, I knew that was coming You could collect your menstrual blood

In a menstrual cup and then apply it to your face. Should you be wont to do? Because that is a new beauty trend that apparently some people are doing. So apparently popularised on social media as all good health advice is. Yes.

Okay, but there is some loose science behind it. Advocates for it say the blood contains stem cells, cytokines and proteins that could rejuvenate the skin. There hasn't been any clinical trials done on it. But a study has said plasma derived from menstrual fluid could significantly enhance wound healing?

No, but this is, you know, you know I had that PRP treatment done on my head where they, in a clinical environment, done by a nurse, got the plasma from my blood and then injected it back in. That's, that, they've done lots of studies on that for, like, joint healing and hair growth

and skin rejuvenation. Smearing your own straight from the, yeah, yeah, yeah. There's, like, bacteria, there's... Oh, yeah, there's a whole lot to it. You wouldn't want to put that on your staff infection, would you? Oh, God.

I reckon that it would just right. Really flare it up, Fletch. Well, we asked for Salernelpo, would you put period blood on your face for what science asks for menstrual masking if it was proven to make you hotter? 89% of people said, no, thank you. No, thank you. No, thank you. But that still does leave 11% so yeah, why not?

Give it a go. Yeah, why not? I guess if you're a Minger, you'll try to. You'll do anything. Yeah. We'll never know. As a former Mingat, can tell you. As a child minger

It's a child minger. You blossom, didn't you? I actually was a really cute child. I had a very awkward teenage situation. Yeah, yeah. And then bounce back to the beautiful Zaddy you said before you. I put a grey in that bed. That's what my daughter said to me that day.

But a grey in that bed. You want me to pull that out. There is, dude, look. Yeah, oh my God, look at that. Yeah, it's hot. It's hot. It's hot. We love it. It's so, baby.

Fran says, if it's my own, then sure thing. It's free. No. Try that. No. Jamie said, hell no, not with what I go through.

Yeah, not with what I go through. Sounds horrible. Maybe a heavy, painful. Well then you've got so on your hands. Georgia said that actually comes out of your body for a reason. And is that sort of Shakespearean charm

to George's response there that wins her today's Maccafe voucher? Yes, a $50 Maccafe voucher for you, Georgia. Congratulations. We'll be in touch. The reason is to shed your usual lining. not to make your wrinkles go away. But tufa, that sounds like a tufer. You know that you've put it that way,

you've got a tufer in your hands. Calcese, this is giving sex. Life season one. Yeah, if you haven't listened, which is insane, there is a woman who offers up hers for a sort of a ceremonial smearing on the forehead. Like a Simba?

Like, just like Simba. Wild, that was a wild season. Dana said the majority voting no thanks, but okay with putting their tongue on somebody else's bum hole. What? I didn't pre-read it. I didn't pre-read it. I didn't pre-read it.

I just started speaking in the words. 2025. That's why I love that meme. It's like you sipping from your friend's water bottle and it's like, oh, and then you down there doing that. Dana actually, God damn, that's good stuff. We should have given Dana the voucher. I know.

Well, it's too late now. It's too late now. So she says putting your tongue on. John's bum, acceptable. Period blood. Oh, God. No, yucky, yucky. Grow up.

Dana, just swinging for the answers. Yeah, it's 2025, we're living. Guys, when they see this, this is from John, guys when they see this poll, homobacking into hedge.g. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Good. Like, you just wrote it, and I knew exactly what he meant.

Ash said, I don't even want my period blood coming out of my vagina. What how would I want it then to be back on my face? Yeah, well put, yeah. I have absolutely no desire to know anything about this. What is wrong with moisturiser? Yeah, great cool. A bit of oil of Olai. Now they said, Jesus Christ, I'm concerned about the future of this is what the kids are in due these days.

Some fantastic responses. Pipsis, this made me try to reach just reading about it. Leave me to be ugly in peace. God, we've got funny listeners. We do. It's already coming out of my vagina on occasion, smearing itself between my thighs. That is some of the softest skin I had.

Oh, right, okay. Maybe, you know, need to get it on my face as well. But it's also, it never sees the sun, does it? That's probably why. That's terribly why. And he ever said, tired and exercise is hard and makes me feel bad. I'll try anything to be hot at this stage. You're funny.

Very funny listeners. Good from you. Very funny listeners. It's stand-up comedian. Very funny listeners. Well, for silly little poll, we said, if it was proven to be true that putting period blood in your face

would make you hotter, would you do it? 89% said, no way. The ZM Podcast Network. Play ZM's Flesh, Forne and Haley. Well, when was it? The National Party used... It was an election ad, right? It was John Key...

Era. Dude, it was 2014. What? A! I thought it was 2017. So, the National Party was initially ordered to pay $600,000 in damages for copyright infringement. It was reduced at $225,000 after they appealed. But that was when Eminem's music publisher, 8 Mile Style, sued them for a song that sounded almost exactly like lose yourself. I remember it.

I had people, like, people in, like, dragon boats or something, you know, like. Yeah, they were rowing. Yeah, they were rolling. And, like, do you think he converted that from New Zealand? dollars to US he's like oh that wasn't worth it oh yeah the lawyers would have like the lawyers would have been that alone right yeah because I remember that dragged on that case right

yep but maybe he's so rich he doesn't care it's a matter of principle for him oh my god of course well he has set his sights now on an Aussie swimwear company because Eminem has called out a brand a swimwear brand with a punny name swimshady

That's good Okay Isn't that a great name Isn't that a great name for a swimmer brand? What a, look a, what a swim shady? What does their swimmer look like? Well, look at this photo That's quite hot

Isn't it? She's sitting in the shade, isn't it? That is well, I mean, yeah, it's an attractive woman and talls. I mean, you can go to the website, it's just Ding, ding, ding, he's worked out heterosexual men. Yeah, bikinis, tiny little triangle cloths. So, apparently, yeah, he has,

according to documents filed with the US patent and trademark office. These have been attained by TMZ, so they've seen this and broken the story. Eminem wants to protect the name of his rap alter ego and avoid brand confusion. And the filing alleges that the rapper would suffer damage and injury if Swim Shady is allowed to keep its name. No, do you know what, Swim Shady does do some togs,

but the main thing they do is the stick that you stick in the ground and it clears out like a say. So it is a shade. Yeah, yeah. It's a swim shade. It's a perfect name and I almost want them to have it. Yeah. It does sound like you're saying.

It's a very clever design. I'd just say to them, tell you what, pop a couple of those in the post and you can keep the note. So they say there's not enough distinction between the two brands. But like swim shades like... Well, I don't see Eminem casting a shadow over a hot woman and bikinis at the beach. And then don't, if you trademark something, Don't you have to say what category it is?

Yes. Like you've got to say if you're a burgy company, you're Burt. But then you couldn't like call you a brand of Swimshades McDonald's, could you? No. Because they call it McDonald's Swimshades. You couldn't use the Golden Archers. No. But I don't know.

It's all obviously going to take lawyers a lot of money to figure this out. Now I just want to hear a full M&M rap but with a swight speech impediment because wicker, wicker, wicker, swim shady is quite funny. You know what I mean? Yeah, it's a glide, isn't it? Well, you better woo's yourself in the mirror. What you want is a sort of a child to nail a fool? Yeah, to do it with a...

Someone messaged in, I named my goldfish swim shady. Now, that's funny. Well, I'd keep that, yeah, but I'd keep that under wraps. I'd keep that, yeah, I wouldn't be telling anybody about that. Oh, you think Eminem would sue? For the goldfish, yeah. He wanted to go for custody. Yeah.

The Z&M Podcast Network. From the unmoderated comment section, this is the top six. Hi, I've decided today's top six is going to be number one is going to be the best text that comes in over the initial five. I like when you do this. Because I've used a lot of my own personal experience with how my mum is on Christmas. Okay. For the five that I have written. But I feel like everybody's got a different mum, so someone will have a hot take.

So the top six today. mom's a quiet quit in Christmas. A growing number of women are joining a movement that sees them officially hang up their hats for the huge task that falls on them every year and that's just sort of like being the director of Christmas. But a lot of them love it and won't relinquish that role. Yes, totally.

Like what happens with Patsy at Christmas? My mum's a very, very good host but she doesn't have joy on the day. Like she's working all day. Yeah, it's very stressful. but then she doesn't want people on the way, get out of the kitchen. Yeah. Yeah, totally.

I know it's a bit of a catch, 22. And stop eating the stuffing. That noise. Oh, I've got to resend you my stuffing recipe, Hans. Yes, you do. Yes, you do. Yes, please, yes, please. I'll get that over right away.

So, mum's a quiet quitting Christmas. So why today's top six is dealing with that, and it is the top six things that won't be happening this Christmas because mum's quiet quitting. So, text in 9-6. Yeah. Your suggestion for number one. Yeah.

Number six on the. the list of the top six things that won't be happening this Christmas because mum's quiet quitting. No one's going to be handing around a bowl of scorched almonds at 10.30 in the morning making sure everyone just takes a couple. No, she'll just be on the couch. Mom, we're in the scorched almonds. Get them yourself.

I don't buy them this year. Oh, no, mum, it's Christmas Day. And you didn't, oh my God. If you wanted them, you could have gone to the shop yourself. No, no, that's unfair. That's, don't, no. Surely mum's going to do all the shopping before, though. Mum's going to do the shopping and quiet quit on Christmas.

Oh, so my Christmas. Yeah, okay. my Christmas work starts days before yours, does it? Yeah. Mom, oh my God, I can't believe you didn't get scorched diamonds. There must be scorched Humbens somewhere in this house. Go walk down to the dairy. The dairy's not open, it's Christmas. No, the dairies are open on Christmas.

Maybe the servo could thumb them through that little night page. Maybe the server could thumb them through. She's, that's really good. I tell you what, that's put a chill up my spine. Yeah, better get some scorched almonds today. Am I actually get some scorchies on the God? No, no, because I'll eat them all. They're not going to see.

How old? What are we? We're 30... 34 days away from Christmas. You're telling me that a box of scorched almonds are going to survive in my house? No, they won't. Good Lord. It'll be consoling the bottle of Jameson's and the recycling bin. He goes through us, quit. God, they're good, though. I had some last night. They always put them in the seven days rider.

They rule, man. Scorce diamonds. Just let's hear it for scorched almonds. Okay, back to it. Number five on the list of the top six things. By the way, you two can feel free to peruse the text machine for any favorites you've got coming in. on it. Okay, thank you. Number five on the list of the top six things that won't be

happening this Christmas because mum's quite quitting. There'll be nobody saying, hey, save that that wrapping paper. That's nice wrapping paper. We can use it again. If you find that, don't rip it it. Don't rip it. Take the tape off. That's that foil paper that people pay a fortune for. We can reuse that next Christmas. Don't go crazy on that one. Number four on the list

of the top six things that won't be happening this Christmas because mum's quiet quitting. No one will be buying nine dollar bottles of fizzy sweet wine that's quote, just as good as the French stuff, end quote. Sweet, though, isn't it? Real sweet. I'm looking at you.

Pink Chandon, R-I-P. I'm looking at you. Passion pop. Asty Riccadonna, Spumante, R-I-P. Oh, Rickadola. What's that stuff my mum really liked? Bernardino. Aquila?

Oh, yeah, Queela, right, yeah. It was sweet, man. It was like alcoholic, lemonade. Straight from France. Straight from France. The name Aquila, do it. It's French for delicious water. Yeah.

Number three on the list of the top six things that won't be happening in this Christmas because mum's quiet quitting. No one telling you. you where to sit at the Christmas lunch table because for some reason that's a thing, it's very political. Yeah, it is. You sit there. Well, his dad normally sits there. Doesn't he? And then mum normally sits

there. Does anybody else's mum be the hero and sit on the uncomfortable seat? Mom's like, I'll just sit on this one then. And she'll drag in some white plastic chair from the deck. Yeah, it's broken on that. She's like, no, no. It's fine. Wow. The old woman with the bad hits.

No, it's fine. It's fine. I'll sit on this. It's fine. This is sore. Out of two on the list of the top six things that won't be happening this Christmas because mum's quiet quitting. Well, now that someone's not cooking all day, they're going to have more time to tell you

what they think of the current political climate. And I'm imagining because they're not cooking they're going to be able to concentrate on drinking a bit more. Yeah. And so they were drinking and telling you what they think of, I don't know, depending on what sort of the spectrum they fall on, I guess, the political spectrum exactly what they're going to be telling you.

And number one, from listeners. Can I make my vote? Yes, executive decision. You're in charge this is the executive. You just choose, yeah. Okay, you introduce it. Yep. And the number one on the list today of the top six things

that won't be happening this Christmas because mom's quiet quitting? Mum won't have any presents because she didn't buy them for herself on your behalf. That's really good. And dad's just sitting there looking at presents and he's looking at mum and mum's like, I don't know what's in them. And dad's like, I've got no any of it. Yeah, she bought them. Your mother bought them. No, she's like, no, I didn't.

And he's like, who bought them? Mystery. That is today's top six The ZRAM Podcast Network The internet is absolutely loving this Actually do you know who's going to love this Shannon Because it's a little bit of a conspiracy theory A little bit of sort of

You know the internet's sort of coming together To work something out Have a listen to this This is a UK rapper Called SD Kid I'm the same trends I'm the same kid with the same friends Posted open the same ends

Riding around and I've got BVS you got fake jams So it's like your classic, like all my, you know, like Scowals, Accent, UK rap, da-da-da-da-da. His name's SD Kid, terrible rap name. You know what I mean? Like, we could have, we could have brainstormed that a little harder, I reckon. Been a bit more exciting.

But SD Kid has been dropping music online, doesn't share his face at all, right? Completely anonymous, often in a balaclava, like just some eyes. and eyebrows and that's it or face completely. Wait, do people think it's another AI artist? No. Because that's been a thing lately. Yeah, the AI artist, the AI actors. No. People now

on TikTok and on the internet are completely convinced, this is Timothy Shalalala Lala Lameh. Timothy Telemeny. Really? Are you buying into this conspiracy, Shannon? Who also believes that Katie Perry is John Bonnet Ramsey?

And we didn't go to the moon? And... I don't say that, I just say I have questions. I'm just asking questions. Yeah. We're entitled to ask. No, I can definitely see this. When you look up the close-up photos, he shows his eyes and definitely has the Timitae vibes.

Timotashalaba. As we know, Timitay did a look-alike competition and a lot of people do look like him. Yes. But he is musical. He was Willie Wonka, you know, so it's not too far-fetched. So here's some things that people are discussing as Peroof.

And you can't see it, listener, but I'm doing air quotes, which I think we need to bring back more. I think we used to do them a lot more than we do now, and I'm bringing them back. Proof. They have the exact same face and fashion sense. As you mentioned, Shannon, if you look up close, it is literally the exact same eyebrow shape and arch, same eye color, same skin color. Like, it's very much a real look-alike, clearly the same pale green eyes. the fashion sense is exactly the same. Timothy Shalamay's got quite odd fashion sense, I'd say.

Okay. The Kardashians haven't quite hooked in. Are they still? I don't know. Are they still together? Yes. They're plagued by rumours. I love it.

It makes absolutely no sense. He wasn't at her mum's birthday, but he's a busy guy. He's a busy guy. One of my favourite, I read an article recently about like the most unlikely couples in Hollywood at the moment. And they are in it. And I love it. Just like, it just makes no sense. whatsoever.

Timothy randomly went to a fake mink show in London. It was like a, you know, a big rapper who's got very similar music to this SD kid air quotes again. And everyone was like, why is he suddenly so invested in this music?

It's because he... Is making it himself. Is making it himself. But why would he put on a British accent? And why would he... Is this a British accent? bit of a Joaquin Phoenix you know role prepping

thing maybe oh right okay like he's yeah what do they call that method acting yeah he could be like creating a character but he's really like doing it out in the real world right well no one would take him seriously if he's just like guys my new rap album's out

next week I'm Timothy Salome everyone's like what I'm Timothy Shalame play that fucking music Y boy yeah yeah sees that skinny little Limmy guy. Right.

But has he been asked about this? Or has... No word. No word. He has not spoken a word on it. Which in itself is suspicious. It's proof. It's proof.

It's proof. Can you wrap your ears around Timothy Shalalame's Esty Kid? Rap album soon. The ZAM's Hocast Network. Play ZM's Flesh, Forne and Haley. The annual health survey is out. It surveys quite a few people. So it's like a report card for all of us on our health.

Yeah, as New Zealand on a whole. Okay. 9,000 adults, that's 15 and over, and 2,800 children who's surveyed. Do you want a brief recount of statistics? I thought you were going to say, do you want me to be honest? Okay, I don't be honest. Despite getting fatter, vaping more, eating fewer veggies and feeling more stressed, New Zealanders say they're still pretty happy.

Wow, what a sentence. Yeah. God, nothing has landed so deeply for me. Than that sentence. I mean, you don't vape, do you? I don't vape, no. No, she's back on SIGs every now and then. Instead, party darts.

The old analogue vapes for a party darts. I don't encourage it. 2024, 2025 New Zealand Health Survey says life satisfaction and self-rated health are high, but underneath Harrison. What is described as gnarly trends. Okay, gnarly trends. Has it as drinking and spiking amongst young people again. Reverasing the years of decline. Because for a long time they've been saying that like Gen Zs aren't drinking as much.

Which we've joked about before, but thank God I mean like as a culture, that's great. Obesity is rising overall except for amongst kids and the people aged 15 to 24 where obesity is actually declining. Oh. Yeah, I'm getting squishier. But also your metabolism slows down, doesn't it? We'll see. We'll see you 15 to 24 year. I'll see. Good luck.

Daily vaping continues to creep up, especially in teens. It blows my mind the amount that Kiwis vape. Like, when you go overseas, I mean, you go to Europe, everyone's smoking still. But like, I feel like we've just replaced one vice with another, and they're just as bad for you. But it's not even replacing. People who never smoked a baby. I just don't understand that. Yeah.

It was supposed to be the old. alternative, the better, quote, unquote, alternative to smoking. Why would you start? Psychological distress has doubled since 2019, 2020. Probably wide people. You want to chime in on that form? Probably white people are basically. Well, I was just going to say, I'm doing mine and Fletcher's because his psychological

distress is actually decreased since 2019. Yeah, so I've actually picked up yours. Thank you for that. And a little bit. I'm carrying it. It's okay. I'm seeing a GP is harder due to cost and waiting times. And if you've tried to book just a general non-emergency.

And plus, like, we've got a friend who's a doctor And he works one day away I think he's up to Europe for like eight years this year Yeah, he did, yeah Smoking, however God, I hope he's still asleep Oh, he's a doctor on Friday, of course he's still asleep He was supposed to be at work 20 minutes ago

That's why they're always late even though Love you, Dr Shawnee, love you He's not indifferent about you in the moment We respect the doctors Um, drug levels Drug use levels look unchanged on paper but waste water says same amount of users, more drugs. Wow, okay.

Isn't that interesting? They can tell. I would love to get in, not get into the waste water, but how they can do a sample and they're like, this is what we can tell you. It's nuts. Like I feel like COVID kind of made that whole wastewater testing thing, like a thing and people knew about it, common knowledge. But they've been doing it a long time.

Yeah, they test the water and they can see like what regions use the most meth and drugs. It's wild. And they're like, Northland? Best stats, so these are some important stats, life satisfaction in general health. 86.6% of adults say their health is good, very good or excellent. But you can't see your clogged arteries or what cancer's running inside you, can you? Didn't you just say we're all fat?

Yeah, we're all fat. I mean, yeah. 83% report high or very high life satisfaction. That's pretty good. And 83% report high or very high family well-being. That's all slightly up from last year Yeah 14% of adults report

High or very high psychological distress Yeah That's doubled So that went from 7.4 to 14% In over the last five years It's been half though the last five years Hasn't it? Yeah it has for everyone

Yeah Um Hazard is sorry That's just a nervous tick I've developed over the last five years Um Hazardous drinking So It's gone up

So 16% of all adults are hazardous drinkers. That's down from 21%. Or we just call them Haley, don't we? What? Haley is drinking. Yeah, you're saying my name odd. Hazardate, Haley.

Hazard Haley. Fizzing to 17-year-olds who shouldn't be drinking. They're up to 16%. Oh, wow. And 18 to 24s, you know, the ones that were all like, oh, they don't like to drink anymore. They're back, baby. They're 34% of them are hazardous drinkers.

Yeah, because they've realized that life's hard. And sometimes after work, you would need espresso martini. You do sometimes. 12% of adults vape daily. That's bad. 12% of adults vape daily. 13.5% of teenagers vape daily. That's crazy, isn't I?

Only 6.8% of adults eat the recommended amount of vegetables. Are you kidding me? Only 7% of adults are hitting the 5 plus a day mark? And would that be including what's in your burger or your subway? That doesn't technically count as a day. I think you are ticking that because you can remember you're being asked this by a person and you're like,

how many vegetables are you? You're like, slice of tomato count? Onions, man, that's a veggie. That is, but I mean, it is so expensive to my fresh produce. I mean, unless you're buying seasonal and it's on special. It is, it's hard.

1% of adults used anphetamine-type stimulants in the last year. Jesus. Down from 1.3, despite waste water, showing meth consumption is actually skyrocketing. So if everybody's telling the truth, it's not more users. It just means that people are using more.

Also, I don't think of some, random person coming to your house of the form is asking you about your drug use. I don't know if people are like... Well, trusting. 2.5% of adults said they used cocaine in the last year. And that's up from 2.4% the year before. Wastewater shows consumption is way up though, so

again, there's some... A, you're lying, but people are using more. A few little lies there. Yeah. Wow. What a fascinating insight. I know. It is really interesting. So we're a little bit fatter, but we're happier. We're all... Because all the cocaine. We're fat and high. It's time for a little bit of a movie roundup.

Movie news. First of all, the Hunger Games Sunrise on the Reaping has its official teaser trailer out four hours ago and it's had 400,000 views. And that's just on YouTube. This is the story of Haymich, who was played by Woody Harrelson in the original movies, the Hunger Games.

So this is the story of his Hunger Games. So close to a real name, Haymitch. All of the names in the Hunger Games are so close to a real name. So close. So, well, the trailer's been four hours. Yeah, okay, yeah. And nearly had half a million views.

So this is out, not out till next November, by the way. So they've got a trailer a year before it's due. Ah. To the glorious reaping of District 12. Twice the number of tributes. Twice the glory. It's time for the second quarter quail. So it's the story of the 50th Hunger Games.

And of course, if you're familiar with the Hunger Games, every 25 years is a quarter quail, which is a little bit special. Like, in the original Hunger Games, it was the 75th, it was the quarter, and the people who went back into the Hunger Games were previous winners. And this one, they take twice as many.

So four kids from each district. This is apparent, the book is apparently a harrowing read. And so I don't think this is going to be like, fun light-hearted movie either but yeah that's Glenn Close by the way in the trailer completely unrecognisable she's great

completely unrecognisable well thank God she's done something of quality because of that terrible Kim Kardashian lawyer show she's in people are like Glenn Hahn were you just were you drunk are you having a laugh

someone the other day was like have you seen it it's great I was like I have not heard anyone else say that I've actually downloaded someone and might watch her on the plane I hope it's so bad it's good. That's what I've heard. If your expectations are it's going to be so bad, it's good,

then I don't think you're going to be too let down. Totally. So in some more moving news, Frozen 3 and 4, right? They're signed off to happen. Right. And this is a landmark deal. It's the highest in animation history.

Kristen Bell, Josh Gad, and Adina Menzel, like the three leads of Frozen. Anna, Elsa and Olaf. Yes. Have each signed a deal worth over $60 million each to do both of them. What? So 30, do you remember when Eddie Murphy got paid $10 million to do donkey and Shrek one time? And he didn't even leave his house to earn the money because he had a recording booth at his own house.

Isn't that insane? Oh, my God. Imagine that, not leaving your house and you earn $10 million. Just go back to bed at the end of it. Like, I'm done. Yeah. I'm doing your undies if you want. Yeah.

Amazing. Also, news out this morning, not movie-wise, but TV news or streaming news. HBO has confirmed that it's renewed both Night of the Seven Kingdoms and House of the Dragons for new seasons. So Nine of the Seven Kingdoms isn't out yet, but it's about to be, right? Yes. That's the next Game of Thrones story. Yeah, both shows will be out in 2026 and then there'll be alternating releases in 2027, 28. The guys, they take so long to make those shows, though, eh?

The weights are so... I didn't even remember what happened in House of the House of Dragons. I'd have to re-watch the whole series again. And you love it. The quality of those shows is exceptional. And it is like making little mini movies every day. But hurry up.

21 minutes away from... I didn't get to turn about Elizabeth Olsen's movie. Oh, what do you want to say about that? Well, stop my song. Somebody won't talk over, I won't talk over Sabrina. That's really respectful, actually. And I knew you were a feminist and it's nice to see it in play. You are, you're a big Sabrina fan.

So on December 4th it comes out. It's called Eternad. got Elizabeth Olson, Miles, Teller, and that handsome guy that's dating Jewelie Pallum Turner. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And surprise, he plays a war veteran. He nails a war. Oh, he nails a war.

So the premise is when you die, you have to pick where you're going to spend eternity and who you're going to spend it with. Her first husband, who she loved dearly, dies in the war. Years later, she remarries, and her second husband she's with for 50 years. Wait, can you choose like a theme park or a... You can pick one.

Like, I'd go a food court. You get a bit bored, though. Like a real nice... Food Court. Well, how are you going to eat? Everything. I don't know. I don't know the premise.

Do you eat in the afterlife? Eating might not be a necessity. Oh, okay. So you food court. The afterlife we've got to be eating because eating's about joy. Yeah. I don't think this movie's so much about

food courts. The logistics. It's about does she pick her first ever love, the husband that died in war? Oh, yes, yes, yes. Or does she pick the man she spent the rest of her life with? Or does she pick both?

Three-sum! The Zat-N podcast network. Oh, Fletches is a terrible. Can you remember the song that it was? I can't remember, Haley. Damn. Okay, so we were doing a spin class as we want to do. And the instructor, there was

a bad song. God, it was like a tacky funny song. I think it was like after the it had finished. They just play some random warm down music. Random warm down. Oh, it was a warm down because I just googled what songs are popular spin class songs. No. Wasn't a beat she wake me out?

No, no. No. No. No. No. No. It's kind of irrelevant, it sort of doesn't matter. Well, no, I think if you're about to hang your hat on what song starts the story, I think it's very relevant. Well, we can't remember. We can't remember. I'll make it up.

She was playing at the end of our Ricky Martens, she bangs, she bangs. Oh, they wouldn't do that, but okay. And what a banger. And the instructor somehow just randomly called out her mate who performed the solo at the

school talent show. I just went to pull up, she bangs, she bangs. But apparently my music streaming services currently being used at home to listen to the Hamilton sound tray. Oh my God, this happened to me yesterday. I was trying to listen to music to warm up and suddenly this music kept on changing and it was like on Haley's frame.

And it was my parents listening to music. Probably dancing because they were on loving. I reckon they were banging on your couch. Oh, wow, what kind of music was it? It was queen. Anyway. So, um, And then we were having a laugh about this,

and then I said to Fletch, oh my God, my talent show at Middatae Primary, I performed solo, because my best friend said, no, how embarrassing. Lais la Bonita, tropical the island breeze. It's a Madonna song,

but I did the troublous cover. Because it, you know, it was the year 2009-99. We were talking about this this morning, and that's when Shannon told us who, and that's why we're like, oh my God, we have to talk about this, and ask this morning.

0,800 tiles at M, 96, 96. What did you perform at the school talent show? Because Shannon, what did you do? Mine was at intermediate, so it was like 2012-ish. Yep. And I, unfortunately, was... That's impossible. 2012 was three years ago.

Carry on. I was on crutches at the time, and I performed. I would have skipped the talent show. No, no, no. We decorated my crutches with tinsel and performed to Cobra Starship. Good Girls Gone Bad. Wait a minute, what did you do, a song and a dance?

Well, no, no, no, we didn't sing, we just danced. But I was on the crutches and I remember everyone did a bit of fist pump and I had to put the crutch in the air. Oh, I'm so embarrassed, I'm so embarrassed. Oh, my God, I love this. Can we call it tinsel crutch from now on? Yeah, I mean, if it was high school, that would have been your nickname. I feel like primary school they weren't that mean yet. Okay, well, 0,800 dials at him.

We want to take your calls this morning. Text through 9-696. We want to know what you performed at your school talent show. Join us as we die of embarrassment, honestly. There are some very funny messages coming in. It's so traumatic reading some of these messages. It's so good. Amy, what did you do at your school talent show?

You were 15. Morning. Good morning. Morning. It's something that definitely wouldn't be allowed nowadays. Okay. Well, what did you say? They were, like, five guys, and they were on the stage,

and they were dancing to, I believe, in miracles. You sexy things. Oh, yeah. They sat down on the chair, and then put the tops off, and we smothered them with oil, rubbed them up and down. Wait a minute. Sorry, sorry. Sorry, how old?

Like 14 or 15. Now, you've got an accent. Did this happen back home? Yeah. In England. In Lincolnshire. In Lincoln, England. Okay.

What did this happen? Well, I'm 39 now. So 25 years ago. It's still not long enough ago, really. That's the millennium. That's crazy. I started talking about this. My head went straight back to that.

I bet it did. Yeah, I bet it did. Wow. That's insane. Insane. Amy, thank you so much. Cassidy, what did you do at the high school or the school talent show?

Morning. What I did with my friend about 10 years old and we performed a dance to Weddow Yankovich. I'm fat. Oh, fat. Which was the parody of bad

by Michael Jackson, right? That's right, yes. Again, you probably wouldn't do that these days, would you? No, yeah, I don't know how we got away with that, but we also, not only did we dance for that, we stuffed pillows up our top

And I'm assuming you weren't actually a sort of a plus-sized human. No, no. No, yeah. Oh, Cassidy, that's funny. Thank you. Different times, different times. I was so worried when that first caller said, oh, you wouldn't get away with it now and said what she sung because I was like,

the members of that band were people of colour and she doesn't sound like it. Oh, yeah, I thought they might have been, yeah, okay. Yeah, yeah. Got a bit of the old boot polish out. My partner danced to smack that by Eminem and Acon, unscensored version and all white boys and do rags. When I was 12, I said, there's so many good texts. When I was 12, I sung my heart will go on from the Titanic

and my friend played it on the keyboard and we won. But you still don't know, it wouldn't have been great at 12. No, it wouldn't have been great. I mean, it would have been great for a 12-year-old. Yeah, but not like, yeah. You're not so lindian. Early 90s, in fifth form, we did a lip sync to the BGs medley. A group of girls all dressed up in white flares with facial hair drawn.

on and we dressed at my younger brother who was third form at the time in a wig a skirt and big fete boobs and he came on during more than a woman more than a woman and was working it. Everyone was cheering and clapping and so funny. Everyone kept asking us who the girl was but

we made a deal with them that we'd never say it was managed to keep it like a massive school secret for ages. Okay. So good. Boys to men in the still of the night and one sweet day. Those are hard songs. Yeah they are. We either came first or second with that. Oh my God, there's so many

of them. At seven years old in 2002, I sung Eternal Flame by Atomic Kid and Acapella. No, that would not have been good. Oh, my God, someone did message and saying they actually did a tap dance to She Bangs, She Bangs. Oh, wow.

I don't want to gloat, but I did take home the trophy. Really? Wow. Wow. Okay. Some other ones. Shania Twain. Man, I feel like a woman, at a primary school talent show.

Fantastic. Yeah. I did my old man's a dustman. Oh, yeah. You know that? Old English ditty. My old man's a dustin. I performed, six of us performed Barbie Girl.

We choreographed the whole dance. We were superstars. I thought it was my calling. Turns out, if you can't do, teach. Oh, okay. So that I became a dance teacher. Kempi Dex. Coming in, 9696.0-800 dance.

What did you do at the school talent show? This is so funny, but wildly inappropriate. At a Catholic school, a Catholic girl's school, a group of us performed. Did he say performed? I did say perform. Oh, my God, born. Performed. I did say performed.

That's been a bugbear of both of us for many years. I saw it and I was like, I've said that wrong. That's why I stopped straight afterwards. We performed OPP by naughty by nature. Now, I've just informed the girls, the producer girlies who were maybe a bit young to remember when that song first came out, but they're familiar with the song, what exactly OPP stands for?

Now, I can't say it on the radio, but you can feel free to do that on your own time, but maybe not on a work plan. And it was a Catholic... Oh my God, it's scary that you're playing it. Well, it's in the system. It must be a radio edit. A radio safe version.

Yep. We changed the lyrics. I mean, it's a cat, you can't tonight. This is a hell of a bit. Oh, it's a catchy song. That's a hell of a bit. Using a bit of Jackson 5 sample there. We, uh, hold on, is this a beer now?

Naughty by nature, changed the lyrics, but at the end, some girls came on stage in their uniforms of pillows stuffed up their dresses pretending they were pregnant. Boy, did we get in trouble. Again, I'll reiterate. That was it a Catholic girl's school. Oh, yeah, it was. Uh, spice girls lip sang, painted myself in coffee to be scary spice.

Oh, okay. Oh, I mean, that was just a different time, wasn't it? I hope it was a different time. Coffee? I hope it was a different time. There's another one. My friends and I did The Spice Girls at age 12. I was scary Spice. Mum used a lot of natural glow

to give this very pale white girl a bit of colour. Rural school life in the 90s. Luminous spheres, though. Very luminous. Yeah. A dude got up at a Catholic school. I do got up by himself at a Catholic school and sung the, when I think about you I touch myself. Oh, I don't want

Anyone else What is that song called? I touch myself? Touch myself? No. I touch the divinels. I touch myself. Yeah, great.

Okay, let's do that, yeah. This is great. This is great. I love myself. I want you to love me. Love it. And so he's doing this in front of the school. At a Catholic school, got it.

They eventually cut the music because the whole school was just losing their minds. I love it. We'll keep him going. Someone said pause the song now and play for Friday. Bash Bash. Great song. Absolute banger. When I was seven years old, my mother convinced me doing the macarena was a talent.

So I did. The whole effing song by my. myself in front of the entire school. Oh, I would die. Um, aflo. Nope. I'm not reading them all. But, oh, that did happen at an affluent school on the North Shore. I dressed up as Damien the average.

Because it did not go well. Oh, Damien to kill it. Damien did not go well. Friends of mine, dance the kids. candy shop at like 11. Wow, that's the appropriate lyrics. That's a sexual song. Yeah. I did a dance

to Ice Cube at 10 years old. You can imagine the dance moves. Not appropriate for a 10 year old. Oh, this is just so fun. I wish I could see. I wish I could watch all of them. Every text that can't come in. If it was my weekend, I'd sit down and watch this. It should be a reality show.

Yes. Some kind of high school. Some kind of like, you know, you get to relive it. Just any school, yeah, talent shows. You get to relive it. And the winner gets a million dollars. Yeah. But they've got to be bad.

Well, I mean, have I read you one that's really tickled your fancy? Not really, no. Oh, my God, in an old girl school, we tied the female deputy principal to a chair in front of the school and dirty dance on it. No! What? We got told off afterwards. I bet you, Dave, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

The ZN Podcast Network. Play ZN's Fletchhorn and Haley So yes I was on a flight yesterday From Auckland to Nelson I will say jeepers Speaking of Metallica

The airport It smelled a bourbon and powerade You know It was a real mix There was a sea of Bogan's Looking worse for wear I've never seen so many black t-shirts In downtown Auckland

In a long time Yeah it's awesome As someone that does wear Black and blue t-shirts All the time Of course Of course So I'm on my flight

and I bought a little bit late because I was enjoying coffee moose in the lounge. She's relatable. She's a people of the person. Yeah, yeah. A person of the people. A lady of the people.

A female man. Yeah, I am a female man. And so I get on and I've got my large tote that is sort of a hard, you guys know the one, it's sort of like a plastic woven tote. And those overhead on those planes that go Auckland to Nelson,

They're slim and long. Like if you've got a wide bag, you're a bit screwed. You're kind of screwed. And then the footroom is much smaller as well. So when you have to put it under it, it's just a god or four flight. So I found a gap just above where I was sitting. And I kind of thumbed it in, you know, really pushed it in and kind of moved a few things of other people's around.

I wasn't in the move for us. I was tired. Yep. So get on the flight hot, I'll say, to the point where the flight attendant had to address it. And then we land and we're disembarking and I get my bag and I pull it out and that's when I notice what I've done by thumbing in this bag. And here comes the apology. I am sorry to whoever thought that they would go to the Dunkin' Donuts at the airport and get themselves a nice family pack of Donuts. to bring to Nelson

because... Haley, Haley. Haley! You know the South Islanders love their donuts. I know. And what a treat they were looking forward to.

I don't think it's impossible to get on a flight leaving Auckland that goes direct to the South Island without someone having a big thing of donuts on it. They love the donuts. Do they not?

Why don't these donut stores open stores in Nelson in the South Island? I know. Well, I know, but they would have been so excited to enjoy these perfect, puffy donuts. and I had smashed them to smithereens.

I mean, this box was distorted beyond recognition. Did the person see? I didn't stop. I didn't stop to check. What I did was, okay, okay. What I did was I pulled out my tote, clocked it and immediately took zero ownership and evacuated the plane.

How smashed? The box was at the back against the wall, say. and it had sort of Constantinid up Oh, could you see I imagine it was more of a on top smashing You've actually just sort of Dramed it. Okay, right

No, I think an on top smashing would have kind of been all right No, I'd smashed it sort of against the wall Right, could you see any... And the box had distorted Jam or icing or cream that had come out the side? There was spillage.

Oh, there was a sugary... Well, you've destroyed it. Haley! But that's kind of... on them, you don't just chunk them up in the overhead, sit down and expect. You hold on to them on your lap until everybody's on there, then you find

IEA. Thank you. Yeah, that's not your fault. Smaller items, they say police place your larger items in the overhead compartment above you and place your smaller items under the seat below. So, really, I feel like the flight attendant would have a little space for

dog, they're pretty sick of it because everyone that gets on the plane. Because everyone goes from South Island takes donuts. It takes doughnut. Maybe there's a donut holder on the New Zealand flights. A little sort of stack a shelf. Yeah. Okay, but there will be someone listening maybe, possibly out there from Nelson, who's listening now that came home from Auckland with a smash box of donuts. Jesus Christ.

Hello, Haley, you are a piece of shit. Now, I don't know if you are the donut owner. I feel if we track down this person, the least we can do is get them some donuts. Oh, please text in 96696 if you know of this with a receiver. Well, I'm going to need the boarding pass. No, I'm going to need the ticket. If you've got the boarding pass from Haley's flight. Proof of the flight.

The boarding pass and a photo of the donut damage because I think it was so damaged. It's the kind of thing you would take a photo off to put on Instagram and be like, can you believe it? Can you believe that bitch from TV did this? I saw that bitch from TV and she smashed my donuts. I will reimburse if you can prove it. But, yeah, those would have been an absolute, an absolute, you know, smash, smash situation. The ZNM Podcast Network. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day, day.

A do-dood-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do do-do do-do do-do do-do do-do. Fact of the day, a day theme this week has been iconic characters with shockingly small screen time. I've really enjoyed it, Vaughn. This has been one of your top, your bests. Unlike calendar week. Why do we bring that up? We're going to let calendar week go. I feel like it was so appalling.

I think we've got another year on it. It wasn't like, it was very interesting. It was fascinating. People stop me in the streets. And they say, Fletch. And I say, no, Vaughn. And they're like, oh, right. I love the calendar week.

I get stopped all the time. And they're like, Vaughn. I'm like, no, it's Fledge. And then they say, well, I just, it was a left. down calendar week. Oh, really? And I'm like, I know.

So you think they're pandering to me? I think they might be. I'm being pandered to. I think so. I think they know it's been a tough year and they just want to make sure that you're all right and tell you the calendar week

wasn't that bad. I've known it's a tough year because I've been ticking the days off on a calendar, as I want to do. So movies where the main character barely shows up has shocking a little screen time throughout the week. And today I just want to finish

with a little bit of a few. Okay. A few. Hannibal Lecter and Silence of the Lambs. Dr. Hannibal Lecter, the iconic, yeah. Awfully scary Anthony Hopkins role.

What is it? You'll live it with a nice Fava beans and a Chiante. Yeah. He wasn't in that much, was he? No. The movie's 118 minutes, and he was in for less than 16 of those minutes.

Wow. Powerful performance, though? Such a powerful performance. His performance won best actor at the Academy Awards, and he was only on screen for 13% of the movie. Wow. And it's still, to this day, remains the shortest winning screen time. Oh, okay, so they've actually worked that out.

Yeah, okay, amazing. He won an Academy Award for his time on screen. You're that good. You only need that many minutes to win an Oscar. Yeah. Unreal. They said he wanted his appearance to appear as surgical. Like, when he was on screen, it was so specifically to be there for a purpose.

Yep. And he said, yeah, just the intensity and how calm and quiet and terrifying he was makes everybody feel like he was on screen for a lot longer than he was. But it was only 13%. The next is the Joker from the Dark Night, 2008. Heath Ledger. I thought he was on...

When this one really surprised me because I was like, he was on screen for almost the entire movie. He was incredible... That was an incredible... That is a 152 minute movie. Yep. And he is only on screen for 20 minutes.

He's on screen for 16% of that movie. But again, it's the presence and the presence of him... Yeah. Yeah, wow. His presence and his chaos intrudes throughout the entire movie. Christopher Nolan said he did that on purpose. That was a thought too. He arrives like a hurricane, suddenly disappears, returns unpredictably.

And he said, why it worked was every appearance is a set piece. The pencil trick, when he came up with the trick, and then bang, the pencil goes on. The party invasion, the hospital explosion, the interrogation room scene with Batman. He said he had no backstory. You just kind of like created him one as the viewer. Yeah. just came in with full-blown impact and he won Academy Award for Best Supporting Actor

that he posthumously even with limited screen time and the final one I want to finish on because this scared me when I was a kid is the wizard from the Wizard of Oz Oh yeah 102 minutes He's right at the end didn't he?

Yeah he's right at the end for no more than six minutes so less than 6% of the entire film A bit like Santa in the Santa Parade He's only in my parade For like 30 seconds and then he rolls past. The parade's named after him, much like the Wizard of Oz

is named after the Wizard of Oz. I know. And I thought for everyone going and seeing Wicked Part 2. Yeah. And the rest of the parade, it's just things, isn't it? Old trailers.

Yeah. Kind of like the local blogger and dressed up as Elsa. Yeah. You know, if they check that with Disney or they just rocking around? I don't know if they've checked that with the big ones.

Leisure marching team. Yeah. But so, yeah, Wizard of Oz was only in 6% of the movie that bared his name. So today's fact of the day is the Wizard of Oz, the Joker from Batman and Hannibal Lecter of Science,

the lands are actually on screen, not much at all. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day, day. I doodoo do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do. The ZM podcast network. Play ZM's flesh, and Haley. The definition of kissing is non-aggressive mouth-to-mouth contact without food transfer.

Sometimes it's nice to get a bit aggressive. Wait, either you're going to say and get a bit of a steak. Yeah, nothing rules more than kissing someone and being like, I didn't eat chicken today. Yeah, or a partial bit of corn.

Yes, you share a little waggoo between friends. What's a bit of waggoo between friends? Why is that the scientific definition of kissing? So, there has been a study from Oxford University in the Florida Institute of Technology who put their heads. together and asked the question, when did kissing start?

And it didn't start with humans at all. It's been around with our primate ancestors between 17 and 21 million years. Do you know what? Like, when I was at the weekend, just my friends and I spent like half an hour watching the chimpanzees at Wellington Zoo, it's so fascinating because you're like, how can you deny evolution looking at them?

You look them in the eyes, eh? Yeah. And just the way they, you know, they move and... And they scratch their butts and sniff it. Like, we do that. It's like a weird thing. We're just a bit more subtle about it. Yeah. Like quite often, Vaughn will lie in his back and I'll just pick knits off him.

Yeah, yeah, I appreciate that. Totally. Sometimes if one annoys me, I just hurl my shit at him. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. There's not annoying it. Wait, so they traced it back to when? A common primate ancestor. Right.

This sentence cracked me out. After running millions of simulations that included chimps, bonobos, gorillas, orangutans, and humans, we all kissed because we inherited the behavior from a shared ancestor. millions of simulations. Oh, yeah. I'll watch, guys, I'm going to hit you to the lab and watch ten more monkey-smooching videos.

Monkeys making it out. So it was the study that defined the definition of kissing as non-aggressive mouth-to-mouth contact without food transfer. Sexy. This includes sexy kissing and platonic, like family affection, like Haley's family kisses. Who kiss on the mouth?

Yeah. There's no food transfer there, though, is it? My mum stopped that year years ago doing, she used to baby bird baby. Yeah. and just chew it all up for me. So nice as cat, see. Soft, soft teeth as a kid.

Scientists are still debating but the leading ideas from the study are that kissing evolved and stuck around because it's great for mate assessment, tasting pheromones and detecting health and compatibility. Imagine they didn't have toothbrushes either. Imagine the ginger vitus. Well, we've got toothbrushes and some people still...

You're not wrong. Foreplay, boosts arousal, increases chance of reproduction. Novel idea. Yep. This foreplay. And social bonding, it strengthens relationships in complex social games. Do monkeys do foreplay?

Haley, we're moving on. And we want to ask right now, on 0800,000M, 9-696, with kissing being 20 million years old. And happy birthday. And happy birthday. If Nana Kissing was still with us, this would be her 20 millionth birthday. Yeah. Happy heavenly birthday. Nana kissing.

We thought we'd ask this morning And we've done this before a long time ago And it was so funny We want to know this morning Like what was your worst kiss with someone Yeah How would you describe it? Did you lose a tooth or did you get your lip bit?

My first patch Like with tongue Was with a guy called men's And he had a tongue ring And I'll never forget the sound of it rattling On the back of my teeth Oh yeah Yeah yeah yeah yeah

Menz M-N-Z Wow Right Did he get a parental sort of introduction or was this sort of like an on-the-slai? No, I was like a teenager. Yeah, I know. No, no, no, no.

And then when you got a really bad facial rash from Pash rash? No, no, that was the second one who had a small goatee. Ah. Yeah. If you had to choose now, which would you choose? I'll go to a small-go-tee over men's tongue ring. You go for a small-go-teeat. Interesting.

On Maria's leather-rette couch. Leather-rette. I love that. Okay, 0800 dials at M. Text in as well, 9-696. What is your worst kiss? According to a study, kissing is 20 million years old and goes back before human time. Yeah, and apparently humans would have kissed Neanderthals

because they've tested like the mouth microbiob ions, and they shared a thing. So imagine kissing a neanderthal. Yeah, but love knows no boundaries, Vaughn. Actually, yeah, exactly. Yeah. Love is love you. Stop being...

Stop being Nathanthalist. You know I'm a huge Nathanifil of this. I know you are. I know. So we're asking on the back of this with kissing being 20 million years old. What is the worst kiss you have ever had?

Michaela, how bad was it? Oh, good morning. Good morning. It was terrible. My first kiss was with a man and it's really just confirmed to me that I am a lesbian. Yeah.

Was it the straw that broke the camel's... Yeah, was it the straw that broke the camel's back for team men, or you were already on the other team? I mean, I was already on the other team, but, you know... Yeah. Good to get confirmation of these things. Yeah, I think so. Yeah, well...

And now... And no woman has ever kissed as bad as that first man. No, woman are great kisses. Highly recommend. Highly recommend. Well, Vaughn, you've always been into it, haven't you? I have been. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

This is why I think lesbians and I were on the same. Same page. You're on the same. We like heaps of the same stuff. Michaela, thank you. So many messages in. My first patch was a combination of Haley's first two pashes. He had both a terrible goatee and a tongue piercing.

And he wiggled his tongue in rhythm to the song that was playing at the time, which was Marilyn Manson's beautiful people. This one. Tong. Tong. Maybe in his... In his defense, maybe in his defense he'd read that in one of his sister's magazines, you know? Yeah, for sure that's in girlfriend magazine, you know?

Yeah. I didn't know that was about kissing, though. Yeah, neither. It was tongue-related, but I thought it might have been... A kissing of a kind. It is a type of kissing, yeah. Yeah. A guy I kissed was like a bucket of saliva with a lizard tongue.

That's how you want to be described. Kind of just like poking in and out real fast. Yeah, pokey. Worst Kiss is my first actual boyfriend in college. He was nicknamed Horse Mouth. Enough said. I'd like to know what's Horse Mouth up to now. Big Mouth.

Well, you know what they say. Never look a gift horse in the mouth. No, big mouth. Big mouth guy. Big mouth. He has to get two of them and melt them together. Yeah. Worst Kiss was with this guy from Tiao Mutu

who had no game and kissed like a sloppy dog. Eyes open. I'm eyes open. I'm not even... Are you eyes open? I'm an eyes open, everything. Oh, shut your eyes. I don't want to close my eyes.

I don't want to fall asleep because I miss you, baby. And I don't want to miss the thing. So you don't want to miss the thing, so it's eyes open. Okay. First ever and worst ever patch was in the club after I'd just thrown up in the bathroom. Ferrell. Somewhere out there, that person is also telling the story about the worst kiss

they ever had with someone whose mouth tasted like regurgitated cranberry Vodka. And no UTI. So that's, you know. First kiss, we decided to turn the light off and smashed our teeth together. He got a blood lip and I cut my tongue. Worst Pash, like very bad Pash rash

subsequently got infected with a staff. Oh, Haley. I tell you got your staff. No, but it probably didn't make it better than I was sharing that staff with Casseurs. I am told

work, I had a carpet burn from falling out of bed. Took weeks to heal. And also, no one was believing that story at work. Oh, hold on. Somebody has, we've got an update on one of the pashes. Okay. Oh, fantastic. I'm just letting the history of it. Oh, so it's the Marilyn Manson guy.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. She said we hooked up a few years later and still absolutely terrible a kisser. Oh, no. No, you don't want that. Why should go back for another Marilyn poke? Well, keep your text coming in, 9-6-96, 0-800 dials, and we want to know your worst kiss as kissing

apparently turns 20 million years old. Happy birth. So scientists have worked out even it would have been Neanderthals and... Neanderthals kissed humans and the monkeys. We didn't kiss monkeys. Maybe someone's kissed a monkey. I mean, someone is kissed a monkey at some stage.

Someone's kissed a monkey at some stage. I mean, it's just like putting a million monkeys at a million typewriters. One of them is going to type Shakespeare. There's a million monkeys and seven billion humans Someone's kissed a monkey, sure Do you tell me Jane Goodall didn't kiss a monkey? Come on if she did,

she got a monkey a little smooch. RIP. RIP. So on the back of this news that kissing is 20 million years old, we want to know your worst kiss in the history of kissing. So good. I remember we've done this topic before

many years ago and it was very funny and it's still so good. It's so good. We've all had them. Go, say it. My first kiss was in year seven. Right after school finished, I got a raging Stiffy. And then...

Whoa. Then had to walk to Mum's car through a group of kids at school with my Willie very visible through my shorts. Oh, I had the nickname Stiffy for approximately five years. Because would you even know what... Oh, God, I don't even... Tuck it under the belt, but do it carefully for crying out loud. Oh, you always have to tuck it under the... Tuck it under the belt or the waistband.

Yeah. That's so funny So it wasn't the kiss It was the aftermath That was the worst kiss Worst kiss we were making out And I would constantly have to pull away To rest my head on a shoulder

But I was actually wiping my mouth on a shoulder Because it was so wet I'm just gonna nuzzle in here Just drying the face Not my first patch Oh somebody else Somebody else got such bad patch rash It got infected

Oh dear Oh my first Imagine telling the doctor that What caused the rash in the first place? He was a stubbly fellow. A piss poor kisser. He went hard. Worst kiss was my first kiss at the Marty rowing after party.

Now I was never a rower, but I heard these Marty cups get out of control. Oh yeah, pretty wild. The after party, it was in the forest at Twissel. If that forest could speak. Oh, Jesus Christ. I've seen some things. Wasn't there a bad forest fire at Twisle sort of semi-recently? It probably burned itself.

off down from all the sin to cleanse itself of the sins of their 13 rowers at the Marty Cup he was going so hard out that my jaw kept clicking in response oh my God popping the jaw popping the jaw I went in for a passion as we're passionate

I was like what's that funny taste and I pulled back and then the guy got a blood nose and I was just like passion the blood was everywhere oh god I've got two worst kisses the first equal very first kiss at 14 the guy had a small tongue it felt like kissing a baby

small tongue I've never heard that I've never heard of anyone having a small tongue I thought we just all had proportionate tongue yeah just medium tongue had that thing where the tongue's kind of like oh yeah doesn't go far out of the mouth because the string comes too far along

he never got it cut when he was a baby just get him circumcised yeah circumcised a tongue circumcision he never had it so his tongue he couldn't get his tongue past his teeth. What? Yeah, no, no, no, he had his tongue, so maybe that was him. Then the other one...

Wait, did he get it sorted for, you know, future... No, he didn't. Wives. Future wives. She's apparently happy with that. Okay. That's what the SP2 comes in for. Okay, so the first kiss with the baby tongue at 14,

then at 15, it went the opposite direction with another guy who had the longest tongue, and was very slobbery. Wait, so there's no pleasing her. She had the shortest. No, she's golly loxing. And the loxing. What do you want for the perfect tongue?

What do you want? First kiss, first worst kiss was when I was 10. He had braces, mouth open, poking tongue out like a lizard, not moving it at all. I couldn't mold my mouth around his mouth, and it didn't know what I was doing. We were basically just like pushing our tongue at each other. Yeah. So I love that people remember these. Yeah, I know.

Tung seems to be a real common denominator here. My worst kiss was someone that went on to become a high-profile New Zealand murderer. He dribbled and smelt. What? Okay, we are going to need a follow-up to that just between us. We won't say it on ever. We're going to need a follow-up. Worst kiss was drunk at a party drinking $5 wine.

Hooked into this chick. Hooked into this chick. Hooked into this check. Hooked into this check. Hooked into this check. Open mouth. Hoonged in this trick, open mouth, lots of tongue, and then did this massive burp.

But we'd sealed mouth, so the burt just kind of went in and hung in there. Needless to say nothing further happened after that. Have we done texts of the week this week? We haven't. Should we make that text of the week? Because that has really tickled me. Text of the week. We've got a $50 animates voucher for you making happy happen for pets.

I think we'll end it there. No, no, no, no, no. What, there's more? Yeah, there's more. Okay. My worst kiss was in high school. The guy I was dating was a germaphobe. He refused to kiss unless we put glad rat between us.

Um. What? I was snogging a guy and my hair got caught in his nose ring and I pulled back and he was like, and then we were stuck there until just 20 minutes to get free. Amazing. Oh, gosh. I remember my first kiss. It was in the middle of a cold a sack and she tasted like luncheon.

that's so good and somebody else said the girl who wasn't happy with the little tongue or the big tongue I guess you could call her Goldilix pretty good

yeah that's good that's good stuff we just gave away the text of the week I know I sorry maybe I'm maybe I'm pretty sure yeah

I just love all of these my worst kiss wasn't even that long I hooked up with an Australian girl who sucked on my lip and I was like that's okay but it hurts a little bit

then she got my tongue between her lips and sucked on the tongue. It physically hurt. I had to tell her to stop. Now you grab your tongue and pull it out of your mouth and then try to say, please stop and hurt. That's a little bit forward. I thought what you're doing, you know?

What is the next? I hope everybody gets kisses this weekend. Get some good kisses, baby. Get some courses, baby. Love your baby. Love your babies. Give you, baby. Bye-bye.

See you. later. Actually, I'm going to have to stop you there. That's copyrighted. Suezy Kate, who's a very good friend of mine. Well, she's already sued me twice. So if you could maybe get her to drop her litigious action, that would be great.

Tell her, I'll review her five stars. Yeah. If she does the same for this podcast. Yeah. And then she tells all her friends. And if you're listening, maybe give it five stars as well. Play ZM's Fletchhorn and Haley.