ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - September 23rd 2025

Episode Date: September 22, 2025

On todays episode of Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod, we discuss moments were you escaped death and which generation is having the most sex, listen to find out more. Special train to clear leaves Top 6 - Things the super weather app can predict Average Brit can only read one chapter of a book Grandparents are having more sex then Gen Z SLP - What do you do with reject clothes after you try them on Who is your odd celeb crush? Trent Dalton Interview Hayley's Viagogo gamble Harry Styles uses fake name in marathon Tell us your "I shouldn't be alive story" Fact of the day Creed Bratton Interview Vaughan takes his shoes off again See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

From the ZM Podcast Network This is Fleshwin and Haley's Big Pod Thanks to animates Making Happy Happen for Pets Welcome to the show Fleege Vaughn and Haley Kilda Haley's back

Bands back together Vaughn's here Alright The gang is back Genuine Friends 1, 2, 3 And a big day We've got a couple of guests

joining us today Good big fatty of a show A big fatty of a show Creed Braden from the US office Yes joins us after 8.30 this morning. He is coming to do, like, it's a mix of a comedian, a comedian, like a stand-up. A one-man show, I think.

A one man, like, there's a bit of music, because he was in a, like, a roots band years ago. Yeah, he's been a rock and roller for years. He was, like, famous in a roots band in the 60s. Yeah, and honestly, like, the weirdest character on that show. I love it. Yeah, so great. And many memes that we all love and use daily. So he joins us after 830 on the show.

And then author Trent Dalton, around. 7.30 this morning. Sold over 2 million copies of his books. One includes Boy Swallows Universe that was made into a Netflix show. Which we loved. I think we need to discuss with him the fact that you cry on a treadmill. Yeah. I was watching at the gym and I was crying on it as I ran.

I still haven't watched it. I need to be in the mood. Super emotion. It means I need to be in the mood. It's a great story. Yeah, just a beautiful. Yeah. So he's on the show with us after 730. The top six on the way. We've got a new weather supercomputer, guys.

A super computer. A superwe. Other the top six things, this supercomputer, where the supercomputer can predict. Is it telling us that all this week it's rubbish? It's crappy. It's apparently it's going to be better for long-term forecast. Yeah, it can predict with the, so it can predict a five-day forecast as well as the current two-day forecast. Which, I mean, it's a double in a bit.

Really always that good? No. No. Yeah, right. Okay. Yeah. The top six coming up. Next on the show, though, we celebrated on Friday the year anniversary.

of the fire truck that we named. Yes, that's right. Dame Judy Drench. Yes. Well, there has been a naming competition in the UK to name a train that clears leaves off the track. Oh, great. That's ripe. Now, there was a little shortlist, and a name has been settled on it, and I quite like it.

Great. We will discuss next. Play ZM's. Flashbourne and Haley. Now, the UK has run a competition to name a train. And we said before, we just Friday, celebrated the one-year anniversary of Dame Judy Dren. They sent a delicious carrot cake. They did send a delicious cake.

You missed out on a cake. You missed out of cake. You were a wave on you. Carrot. We had cake yesterday too. Did you? You missed out. Did you?

Oh, it's great cake yesterday. Yeah. Olive oil, orange and apple. Who made that? This is a problem with being at work every single day is I have to eat all the cake. Yeah. He doesn't take any sick days, so he has to eat all the cake. You're blowing out.

We take the old day off so they've dodged some of these cakes. You've got to try to avoid at least some of them. Well, uh, the, the youths have to eat. I'd say would be the prominent naming country, right, when it comes to... They were behind Bodie McBoatface, the original you know, hijacking of a naming ceremony. It's impossible now to name anything

without Mickface. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And the name of it. Mikey Mick Mikeface. Yes, being in there. Because didn't Sydney try to do this and that got hijacked with Boatface as well? Yeah, yeah.

I'm just trying to name some boats. Well, the Britain's Rail Network, it's 20,000 miles and apparently 50, no, 500 billion leaves each year they have to deal with. I mean, how do they know that? Are they counting the leaves? I don't know who's counting the leaves. Whose job is it to count 500 billion leaves?

I mean, maybe they just count one tree's leaves and then they're laying out. And then average loss player. Maybe there's a weight thing? Yeah, it weighs this much. The clearing is that. Well, and obviously that becomes difficult for trains to navigate and they're going into autumn. So they have a brand new leaf busting train. just looks like a normal train to be honest

I don't know what's different about this I was expecting some kind of big scoop on the front of it but look, some sort of blower does it have some sort of blower or a vacuum? Does it have some sort of blower? Was it got like a mince or in it? You know like a lawnmower it kind of mincees it?

Yeah I don't know. Ting ting ting ting ting ting tis. This story's more about the train being named. Right. So they ran a short list of names. they asked for some suggestions for this new name. Some of them that were used that weren't the winners.

Leafful weapon. Leafful weapon. Love that. Love that. Pulp friction. Not as good. Not as good. And the Autumn Avenger. But the winner of the Leaf Busting Train, Control Alt DeLeaf. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's good, it's good. It's a little bit nerdy, but it's good. Control Alt-Deleaf. It's good, it's good. I really like that. I mean, it doesn't roll off the tongue in terms of a name. Yeah. Dave Judy Drench, for example.

Oh, that rolls off the tongue. It really does. But Control Alt-D-Leaf is very good. Okay. So how does it work? I've googled how it works. Well, actually, I've A-Ied how it works. Well, you're paying for it.

You might as well use it. So the problem is the leaves fall on the track. They get crushed by the train wheels and turn into a slippery Teflon-like coating. Meaning that when they try to break, the trains just skid straight through the station. Oh, skid. Yeah, they skid. We can't be skidding.

Skid. And they interfere with signaling systems. So, it goes through. It's got high pressure water blasts, blasts the leaf mulched, and residue off the railhead, sometimes up to 36,000 PSI. That's a big PSI. Okay. That's a big PSI.

Then, after cleaning, it'll spray a gel-like mixture called sandite was a mixture of sand, aluminium and adhesive, like a grippy, gluey paste. Yeah. And then that coats the rail and it makes it for better grip. And in some regions, mechanical brushes or grinders remove the fickle residue if needed. Right. If the leaves have set it on the train.

Isn't that amazing? Dedicated railhead treatment trains, the RHTTs. Converted freight trains carrying water tanks, high-pressure jetting gear and sand-eyed applicates. Do you think that's what control out of leaf is? Yeah. Yep, it is. How cool.

Very cool. Yeah. Wow. Wowza. There'd be some train nuts that are just loving. these facts? Yeah. And then my end of the spectrum's tinging.

You like trains, don't you? Yeah. Ting, ting, ting, ting. I will say, I don't use the train system very much because it doesn't go out to my house. But every time I'm on a train, I'm like, this is special. It should go. Well, we've got tracks.

Yeah. It should go out our way. Yeah. One day. But you are like... One day. Man, this is pretty neat. I could catch the train to work if that train worked.

No, you couldn't. No, you couldn't. They don't go that early in the morning. I say, well, it needs to be 24 hours a day as well. I'm not going to ask. Am I asking too much, New Zealand? What a 4 a.m train, that'll be fun. Play ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Haley.

From the Fletch Vaughan and Haley group chat, this is the top six. Guys, there's a weather supercomputer. What's it? And they're saying one of the many things that's going to be able to do is predict five days out as well as the current one can do two. So that's two and a half times as good. Good, that's good. Because you know when you've got an event on or something,

you just check the weather all the time. And every day, every like half an hour it's changing. Yeah. Good for weddings. Yep. What's our all-black's weather looking like this weekend? It was raining last time I looked. No.

Vaughnoy and I go into an actual rugby game. That's real mass game. I'm so disappointed. I'm going to be in Dunedinidin. Get tickets at haileysprow.com. Wait, are you doing a comedy show while the rugby's on in Dunedin? Yeah. I didn't think different audiences.

Nah, you didn't think about that, did you? Nah. What days is the rugby? Saturday. Yeah, that's not selling as well. Friday sold out. See, this is why. Are you on two nights in Dunedin?

Yeah, yeah, because Friday sold out, added his second show, didn't think about the All Blacks not selling well. Haleysprow.com. Haleysprault.com for ticket. What time is your... Because this is an early All Blacks game. Yeah, 5 o'clock. Oh, is it?

Yeah. Oh, please. Watch the rugby. Drink a lot and come along. To Hayleysprow.com. If you're into Eden this weekend. If you're in Dunn is. The weather on Saturday, Vaughn, is let me click on precipitation.

Oh yeah, it's going to be fine. Cloudy. A little rain on the morning on Saturday. I don't do a $2.00 ponch. No, come on, poncha. Because it sticks to you like Gladrap. Yeah, I'd rather wear a heavy jacket and just put it on the ground when it's not raining. I'm not leftovers in the fridge.

No, I'm not sitting at Eden Park v. Gladrap. Because I'm going to get condensation under the Gladraps. Oh my God, you get condensation. No one talks about the poncho condensation. Yeah, it's not sweat. It's not sweat. It's condensation. And when it clings to you, it's not good. No, it's not good at all. Well, I've got the top six things, the weather super computer can predict.

The weather supercomputer can predict. Number six on the list, exactly at what point during rain, farmers will say, I think we've had enough bloody rain. They love saying that. The computer knows exactly when they're going to say that. Do you think they'll say that on the weather as well the night before? Yeah, and he said, and Dan will say it in approximately 2.30 tomorrow afternoon. Farmers in the Whitecutter will say.

I think we've had enough bloody rain, according to the new supercomputer. Number five on the list of the top six things that are where the supercomputer can predict. Exactly when to take off your jacket before you start sweating and can't stop. Yeah. You've got a jacket on and then it just turns. And once you start sweating, you can't stop. I'm a goner. I'll never return once I start.

Here in the studio, at 6 a.m., the air conditioning comes on. Yeah, but if I get to sweat on before 6, I'm never not sweating. Well, a whole show. Yeah, hot show. Yeah. know exactly what outside. A little alert. Take your jacket off now and you won't sweat.

Number four on the list of the top six things where the supercomputer can predict. Exactly to the second how long it's going to take to defrost the chicken on the bench today. Oh, okay, yeah. Don't put it on the bench. On the refresh defroster.

You're supposed to? It takes too long. It takes two days. Yeah, but it's healthier. Nah. Because it never dips. Bang it on the bench. Get it to room temp.

And then give it a hot cook. Nice. Yeah. Good stuff. I've never had diarrhoea or spewis from chicken. I reckon I have. I reckon I have. I sort of feel due one.

I eat too many bachelor's handbags. I roll the dice too many times. Yeah, and you're day three, you're like, I don't know. When did they cook it? Those things shouldn't ever make you sick. Not with all that delicious stuffing. Couscoose. Yeah.

Yes, you got to eat. I don't get the cooscoos. No, I don't get the cooskees either. No, I don't do the cooskees. My soup market doesn't have the coocecoce, just has the bread crumbs. Sage? Yeah, Sage and onion. They love a sage and onion.

They love a sage onion. Actually, I'm going to do that today. Yum. Yum. Yeah, that's old bread they can't sell. Yeah, totally. Yeah, that's not bold in it. Yeah, okay.

It's holding all that delicious chicken juice, though. How many times... Number three on the list of the top six things, the weather supercomputer can predict. How many times people will say, how about that, bloody wind? Go. Windy. It's been windy this week, hasn't it? It's a windy old spring.

Yeah. It's a windy old spring. Number two on the list of the top six things the weather supercomputer can predict. That it's not going to be sunny long enough to hang the washer outside. God, that's a gutting moment. Getting the washing on the line and then you just get back inside, you sit down, you put your feet up and then your head. The grey clouds are all

in. I'm a close horse inside guy, I can't relate. I know. Yeah. It's always sunny and my lounge. Always sunny in Fletcher's lounge. Yeah. My favourite show. Season 5 is out now. Season 17. Yeah, I know. It's crazy. That's a long-running show. Number one on the list of the top six things, the weather's supercomputer

can predict. The wetest, the number one that can predict is the wettest thing around here today is your mum. Because she's hot and sweat. and you know your mum gets a sweat. Orne Ellen, have some respect, please. Patsy listens in Italy. She's wet. She's wet to the touch.

She's damp. It would be clear that's turning. The weather's turning in Italy as well. Is that? Yeah. They'll be home soon. Yeah, a couple of weeks. But is your mum had a wet summer?

Yeah, I think she's been wet. Been feeling it? Yeah. That's sweetness. That is today's top six. I'm looking forward to a... Alan Smith. I'm looking forward to a moist summer myself.

Okay, good. That is today's subso. You may remember, and you can find it on our podcast feed. We did a great interview with Johann Harri, who is an amazing journalist. He's written a bunch of books, and the one I'm reading at the moment is called Stolen Focus and why we can't concentrate.

How far through Stolen Focus are... When I say the one I'm doing at the moment is it's in the bedside table. Okay. And I opened it up the other day to find something else in there. Okay, and you got distracted. Oh, yeah. And stole your focus.

Yeah, it stole my focus. Something else stole my focus, but he clocked the book. That's the irony about that book, as I read that book as well, but it took me a while. So long. I know. Because you do, you get distracted by things. I know. Well, we're not the only ones. It was a survey out of Britain,

looking at how long our attention span is lasting on things like TV, movies, and book reading. Book reading being the worst. We, well, the participants, on average, could only read for 14 minutes, which kind of came in at about one chapter for the average reader. Cowan's laughing.

Wow. That's quite slow. Yeah, that's quite a slow read. Yeah. I'm definitely a slow reading because, sorry. Nerds can read faster than that. Do you do that thing where you just, your mind wanders and then you're like,

how many sentences is back do I have to go now? Two pages in, you're like, I have not been ingesting this. The eyes are reading. Or if you lose your little flappy bit of where you're up to or your bookmark falls out and you're scanning through and you're like, don't remember that. And then you get to about it, you're like,

but I do remember. remember the part after that part. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like driving long distance and then you just get there and you're like, I don't remember at all going through. 14 minutes. 14 minutes before losing concentration. How long, like on average would you read a day, Carwin?

Carwin reads on Instagram by the way for a book recommendations. Yeah, T. I don't know. I feel like probably I read at least 100 pages a day. But it would vary, eh? Yeah, definitely. Yeah. Depending on how much I have to work for this job. God, this godfus second thing is hazy.

Do you walk and read? I sit on my little exercise bike and read. I see people walking a reading and we're like wild. I mean, I guess there's no different than being on your phone. Yeah, so 14 minutes for reading. TV and film not as good before we're getting distracted and either like picking up our phones and doing something else 15 minutes. Right.

Because I love being on my phone while watching a movie. I know. That's why I've been finding it hard to watch Spanish shows with subtitles, like Marni Heist and that, Like, because you're just like, oh, you miss a whole scene and you have to go back? Yeah, there are some movies that you're like, damn, I'm not going to be able to be on my phone for this. I'll just like delay watching it. Yeah.

Also, though, basic daily task. Our attention span is not doing well. Virtual work calls, 11 minutes. And then we're bored. Face-to-face meetings, 13 minutes. Then we're bored. They should never go for long than that. Well, we have so many long meetings.

Oh, we have so... Five minutes. Yeah, five minutes. Yeah, five minutes. Writing important emails, 12 minutes. I mean, I'm not running. else for 12 minutes. Life Ambitters, family gatherings, we're bored 14 minutes in, listen

to podcasts, we're sort of done at 11 minutes. I saw, um, Rees-Witherspoon did an interview and she was talking about like what the future of movies will be. Because we can't be bother watching the whole day. I've got kids and they, they don't even watch movies. Oh, like, too long. If podcast is only 11 minutes, what are we doing?

Aren't we past 11 minutes in today's podcast? We could just stop. But the live listener kind of drops in and out. Yeah, that's true. Whereas the podcast people, that, they'll probably listen to the whole show. Should we make fun of the podcast listener now? I love listening to a long podcast. So do I.

And if it's a good one and it hooks you, then you're there and you can't stop listening. I watched a two hour 40 movie last night. Which one? How was it? One battle after another. Oh, I want to see. This is the new Leonardo DiCaprio movie.

It's really good. And it was one of those movies. I was a little bit like, well, for a start, it was going to be a later night because it's a long movie. But I was also like, that's a long movie. Yeah. But it was good. It was one of those ones that didn't feel like.

two hours 40. His girlfriends wouldn't be able to watch something for that long. No. They're too young. I wouldn't. No, would they be like, why is the phone on the side? Play ZM's Fleshbourne and Haley. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Haley.

Well, research out of the UK has found when it comes to Gen Z's, Millennials, who else, Gen X and Boomers. Yeah. It's the, um, the Gen Zs are having less sex than the grandparents than the boomers. They're at the bottom of all generations.

So they're just... Do you think it's a hangover from COVID they stayed inside? So what they reckon is it's mostly because a lot of them still live at home. And until later. So you can't...

Because you have nowhere to go. But Gen Zs would be living at home with Gen X's. Gen Z's we're living home Yeah And so Gen X's in that house They're having more sex So they're not put off having sex

With their kids still living at home But the kids aren't having sex Maybe they're waiting until everyone's out of the house Because you know my parents are coming home soon And they're going to be with me for a bit And I'm like My mum said to me She was like it goes both ways

When we were talking about how we might want to navigate The next stages of life Okay It goes both ways. Wow. Have you misconstrued that as your mum telling you she's bisexual? No, no, no, no, no. When I said something about, like, what if I wanted to have a little date?

And she said, well, it goes both ways. Wait, you're going to be at opposite ends of the house, though, right? No, it's a small house. We're in the room next to each other. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Famous lounge fornicators. I thought you were going to have the front room. Me, it's tiny, absolutely not.

that's the guest boudoir. Well, maybe that's who you can have dates over. Oh, no. Whoever's, that can be a hanky-panky-panky room. That's wild. No, I can't share a hanky-panky-runt with my pen anyway. Okay, well, Gen Zs, for Gen Zs, it worked down to be 36 times a year, the equivalent of every 10 days.

For the grandparents, the boomers, those age 61 to 79, saying they shake the sheets 47 times a year. Good for them. 47 times a year. Do it for them. Gen X, they're more than once a week, clocking in it 62 times a year. Ah?

Yeah. Gen X? More than once a week. But that would be, you'd have a mixture there of your long term as kind of letting down the numbers. And your recent divorce says, cranking them right back up.

And you know those rest times go wild. Oh, they go off, man. You hear about things ripping through the rest time. But that's even older than boomers now. Yeah, it is, yeah. You know, it's that next one up. Millennials. How often are we? Millennials.

It's just hard to get out of the skinny jeans, you know? Yeah, it's hard to peel them off. Just pull it down to the knees. Yeah. You know what I mean? It's sort of froshage. Give it a rub. Yeah, not sure on the millennial number there.

No, I can't find the millennial stand. We can't be bothered. We're too insecure. Again, yeah. You know, we were raised. All those 90s. Yeah. We look in the mirror and we're nothing but disappointed with what we've got,

even if we're in great shape. Show some of my naked body. Absolutely not. Why in the hell would they want to see that? Okay, so Millennials, 27 to 43, they were found to get racies 73 times a year or once every five days, so they actually take it out. So it goes millennials, Gen X, Boomer's, Gen Z.

But you would think Gen Z would be like up there. Like, there'd be like one or two, right? Well, you're the hottest you're ever going to be. Yeah. You know? Remember that, Gen X. Remember that? Well, you're maybe not the hottest you're going to be,

but the perkyest. Yeah. Let me tell you, that absolutely... Yeah, Gensley, I'll also say your metabolism is on your side right now. Yeah. Soon it won't be. It's crazy because I can eat like whatever I want and like, and you never put on weight. That's just not a saying you're going to be able to keep saying forever.

You just wait. You just wait. You just wait. Play. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Haley. Fletch fun and Haley, silly little pooh, silly little poe. It is so silly, silly, silly, silly that the silly little pole, silly little poe, silly. Silly little pole Silly little pole

Silly little pole Silly little pole After trying on clothes in a store What do you do with the items You don't want to buy? Three options Rehanging them or put them on the reject rack Give them to one of the retar stuff

Excuse me Oh dear We've got some pollen in here We've got some pollen I did bring in a pine tray and I apologize Oh yeah sorry Unacceptable Give them to one of the retail stuff

Or leave them in the changing room The results are overwhelmingly Rehang them and put them on the reject rack 86%. Yeah, reject rack Because you're right, Haley, they don't like you hanging them Don't take them back into the store No, and re-hang on the thing

But reject rack's fine Because then we'll go and we'll go and sort that out What if there's no reject rack? Just leave them in the changing room Hanging on the hook, right? Yeah, so not in a heap on the floor that you've stood on with your shoes. Right, yeah, no, that's not good. Toss like I'm your mother.

Give them into one of the retail staff was at 12%, which is what I do. I just take them up to the counter, I'd be like, I don't want these ones. I want these ones. Yep, 100%. Or leave them in the changing room. 3%. That was 3%.

Yeah, I don't do that. Definitely don't do that. Edna says, none of the above, I put them back where I found them because I'm a decent human being. No, we're learning. We don't want you to do that. You don't want that. I don't want that. You got to hang it like a question mark.

And it might be a bit... You might hang it the wrong way round. It might be a crinkle. They might need to do one of those like... You might not have put the little straps on, you know what I mean? No, no, no, no, no. You've got to sort it out. It's going to be a crinkle.

Rebecca, after working many years in retail, I always rehang and put in the reject rack or back in the correct place. It's so effing rude when people just leave clothes in the changing rooms and so disrespectful when they leave them on the floor. Oh, you're on the floor, yeah, I never leave them on the floor. These aren't your clothes, but, no. But they're someone who works in. retail that she rehangs because she knows, but you don't. Yeah, because she knows how to hang and fold. Yeah, oh my God, the fold when you pick up a t-shirt

and you just, it's nicely folded and you're like, oh, it's too boxier, it's too little and then you just kind of roughly, and you're just like, oh, I tried. Lydia says, leaving them in the changing room is dog behavior. Dog behavior in capitals. I was joking. I've never done that, guys. Changing rooms aren't right. We don't have to have them. Respect retail stuff enough to bring your shit out. Wow. Wow. she's angry I bring my partner along

and get them to put the clothes back on the hangers for me Oh nice Actually I think you've done that fletch when I shopped with you You'd hand me the rejects Yeah Bella you deal with that You're a next retailer Your next retailer

You're a yeah Because you're a professional You know what you're doing I know how to fall to teach Rehang on reject rack Unless a staff member sees Here I'll take those You are heathen if you leave them in the changing rooms

Well okay we're really learning here That's successful But I think if there's no reject rack and the staff are busy, then you've got to leave them like in the... Somewhere. You can take them to the counter sometimes. Yeah, that's what I do.

Yeah, they're like, I don't want these. Lizzie says, I worked in retail... MacGuire? Lissy. Oh, Lissy McGuire. Lissie McGuire. There's a Timmu Lizzie McGuire. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I worked in retail for 15 years. I find myself even reorganizing the shelves in Kmart. Oh, yeah, okay. Good luck to you. There's a lot of stuff there. God, yeah, it's crazy in Kmart. Joe said as someone who works in retail Everyone is lying

They leave them in a messy pile on the floor She's calling out the 3% Yeah They actually are telling the truth And maybe there's another 10 or 15 And the 70% that are lying Yeah Stephanie said always a reject rack

But if there's no reject rack I'm leaving them in the change room Because I don't work at the store And I'm not putting them away With my sloppy hanging Yeah exactly Because the two other options Mean mad disrespect says Sarah

Plus I don't need some Gen Z glass on employee knowing my old ass can't fit into half the items I've brought in the changing room with me for the shame of it. Oh, Hon. So she's putting them away. Colin? Depends if I'm making a purchase. Colin Firth? Or Farrell? Firth. Okay.

Oh, okay. All right. If you send the trailer for the new Colin Farrell movie with Margarobie? That looks a bit weird. It looks fun. It looks fun, but it looks weird. Yeah, fun but weird. Depends if I'm making a purchase. If so, I'll take the duds up to the counter and say, I don't want these. If not, then I'll put them on the reject rack. You're me too. Come. Yeah, same. Me too, Colin Firth.

Not Colin Farrell. Me too. Colin Firth. So we asked you today for silly little poll after trying on clothes in a store, what do you do with the items you don't want to buy? 86% of you said rehang them and put them on the reject. Play Z-M's Flashborn and Haley. We want to talk about who is your odd celebrity crush.

And whatever odd means to you, like maybe it's like not... Not controversially. Yeah, like if you text him being like Chris Hemsworth. It's like, no, no, no. That's not like everyone. And the only reason I'm bringing this out is because Al Fanning of the Fanning fam says that her and her sister Dakota and some of their friends have a whole group chat dedicated to how hot Jack Black is.

Now, for some people, they would maybe find him an unconventional, attractive person. I've had a crush on Jack Black from Daydaw. Really? Yeah, yeah. There's his energy. We met him, didn't we? Yeah, I know. And I like, was a bit of flush, you know what I mean?

He was a bit who's got great energy. I mean, he's not going to be people's sexiest man of the year, though, is he? Not everyone. No. Right? And that's what I want to know. You're sort of unconventional or not sort of obvious celebrity crush. I mean, I guess like Hugh Grant, but I used to find Hugh Grant, I find the oldest version of Hugh Grant sexy.

Right. Not but babbling sort of young Hugh Grant. Right. The older he gets. He's getting better. The more I'm like, yum. Yeah, yeah, how great was he an heretic? Oh, I know.

So good in that movie. So, and you got to interview him as well. I did. And you went Gaga over him as well. I know, and that was probably the most nervous I've ever been. But he is a good-looking man. Yes, I don't think that counts. I don't think that counts.

Some messages in already. Oh, Seth Rogen, I get it. Brendan McCallum's made the text. Someone's text in Brendan McCallum. Okay. I don't think that's unconventional, isn't it? No, he's a good-looking sports person. He is a good-looking man.

Yeah. David Tennant. One of the high-profile Doctor Who's. He's a great actor. I've tried to explain to my friends. They just don't get it. He's my delicious Scottish daddy. Yeah, I get it.

Okay. Well, this is what we want to know from you this morning. 0,800 dials at M. You can give us a call. Text in, 9-696. X police commissioner Mike Bush. Okay, welcome to the list. What do you think of what?

Is that the press conferences? I think it's the uniform. It's the uniform. It's the power. Yeah, it's a bit like how people got Ashley Bloomfield. They were absolutely in love with him with the one to go up. You're telling me if Dr. Ashley Bloomfield said, like, can I take you up for a drink?

You're going to say, no, absolutely not, Ashley. You can do whatever you want. Sorry, I'm not saying Chris Martin now. Is that another cricketer or are we talking cold play? If we're talking cold play, I wouldn't say he's, they're very handsome. Yeah. Okay, well, this is what we want to know. Oh, 800,000, 966, who is your unconventional celebrity crush?

Talking now about your unconventional celebrity crushes. Yeah, Al Fanning has, like, her hall pass is Jack Black. And I get it, man. I, well, I'm 100% absolutely what. He's sexy. He's funny. He's funny. He's got a great energy.

He's a musician. Yeah. Yeah. Sorry, just the text, Haley Westerner, such a wee hottie just really got me. Haley, was such a wee hotty. Haley Westerner. Okay. Beautiful voice, voice of an angel.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Has she been quiet lately? I don't know. Haven't heard anything from the Westernrefront for a while? Yeah, that's good. That's what I'd call it if I was hearing us, I'd come back out of. The Western Refront. All quiet and on the Westernerfront.

Yeah, yeah, great. Just that small Venn diagram of crossover between World War II fans and Haley Wisterner fans. Yeah, I like that. I like that. We want to know who is your odd or unconventional celebrity crush. Because people would argue that Jack Black isn't your, he's not your Chris Hemsworths or your obvious, you know, Henry Cavill

Stephen Seagal As a younger actor Cool cut So in that movie I went and saw The Battles on Battles one after another Battles,

Leonardo DiCaprio Battles This is the new Leonardo DiCaprio movie Battles One battle after another Yes That's it Right

He looks like Stephen Seagal Does he? He looks like Stephen Seagal Oh yeah Because I've seen a few clips And he looks like He looks like Stephen Seagal But he like didn't he

Like didn't he let himself go For the movie? Yeah Yeah Did he? Or is he just let himself go Or he's actually, do you know, he's old? Like, we forget he's old now.

How dare he? I would never. How dare he? I would never put on 30 kages just like that. Who is your unconventional crush, Donovan? Winworth Miller from Prison Break. Yeah, hot. That's not an unconventional crush because he, at the time of Prison Break, was extremely hot.

Yeah. Yeah, but I'm not gay, so. Oh, okay. Okay, so it's a plutonic, a plutonic crush there. Well, no, it's not. No, it's not. It's gay as. He's gay as, yeah.

I would turn gay for him. He's gay. Yeah, he's gay, though. Winworth's gay. Winworth came out, didn't he? Donovan's not gay. Donovan's not. But would be.

Would be. Okay. Well, you know. Who's the one? No, because you'd be gay for Henry Cavill. Henry Cavill. You've said that many times. Wait, Wentworth Miller is gay.

I'm pretty sure he came. We're all just sort of confused, Donovan, because I would, yeah. Yes, yes, yeah. God, Donovan. Miller. I am wondering if I go gay for Cavill, if I need a couple of warm-ups. What do you mean? It seems to be jumping in the deep end of the pool.

Like just a couple of grinder hookups, do you mean? Yeah, yeah, all right. But also, Henry Cavill's not gay. I know, but I'm assuming he'll see me and immediately be like, I get it, let's hook up. But for Donovan, it's easier because his gay crush is on Wentworth Miller. He's already gay. You'd be in good hands. Yeah.

Gotcha. Okay, Donovan, thank you for sharing. This is almost a phone-in topic for another day. Who you turn gay for? Who you go gay for? I love that. Okay, well, write that down in the journal. Is that problematic, though?

No, maybe. I don't know. I'd go go for that one, but then gay people are like, well, I'm gay full-time. We'll do a gay check with our gay mates. Yeah, yeah. Of which we have many, most of whom are called Matt. Let's message Matt now. Which Matt, there's so many of them.

One's M-A-A-T, one's M-A-T-T, one's Mattie, one's Matthew. There's so many you've got a specialist, you know. Because otherwise you have to say gay Matt. It's all of them. Who else? Will Farrell kind of transcended because he was so funny. So funny. You know, I don't know if that's too unusual.

Make me laugh and make me, you know. And then we're good. We're golden. Somebody said Bill Murray. Yep. Bill Murray. So much older than me. He's lost in translation though.

Oh, yeah. That was a... Yeah, yeah. Yeah, right. Yeah, see it. No. Christopher Walkin. Oh, Christopher Walkin's so great, oh.

Yeah. Somebody said, mine's just anybody with a crazy amount of charisma, Jack Black, Melissa McCartney, McCarthy, McCarthy, McCarthy and Danny DeVito are on the list of people whose charisma exceeds anything else. Do you know if Danny DeVito made a move at me? I'd 100, just for the yarn. Just for the story.

Like, guys, guys, guys, guys. I'd FaceTime call you. There's another good phone on topic. What did you do for the story? Yeah, what did you do just for the yams? We call it Always On in the end. We called it on last night in the chat, didn't I? Yeah, you did.

What was the one on last night in the chat? Just shout out to the funny boys, man Because we've got a lot of the funny boys in here You know, Adam Sandler And my other phone and topic was What became the entertainment at the party Because of the skids at the weekend Oh yeah, yeah, yeah

I love that. I'm fine, man, that's three That's three in the last 12 hours Take a day off, but I think I might actually You've actually quite a few days off lately So maybe don't Yeah, maybe that's why I'm making up for it Yeah

Someone said Adele but pre-weight loss I like I'm sad and thick Sadden Thick was actually my Rock West band name Yeah, Sadden Thick with two seats Wow, yeah Okay Someone said crackhead Demi Lovato That's not very nice

To phrase it as such She was going through some stuff I saw her on that Have you seen that Instagram series That Are You Okay And she talks to people on the streets It was with Timi Lovato And it was like, man, that looks like

Temi Lovato And it turns that it was Demi Lovato Because she's gone on Zempik And she's got long hair again Right, okay Yeah. John Key, somebody said, Big Delph. The deal with him, the sausage in his mouth, I just can't. That would just be in my head.

As a young lady, Steve Irwin, I was convinced I'd marry him when I was older, but now I guess I'll have to settle for Robert. Sorry, there's no settling for Robert. Have you seen him on Dancing with the Stars? Oh my God, it's insane. He's a great dancer. He's amazing. Did you see that they said that's the best debut dance I've ever seen on Dancing

of the Stars US? Yeah, that's insane. I get this, James Gandolphine, Tony Sopranal. Yeah, that's a powerful. You've really got a tie, hey. It's a power thing. Big and rough. Yeah.

My sister crush is on Christopher Luxem. Luxem. Okay. Christopher. Christopher. That's right. You borrow the tea from the Christopher. It's in the Luxem.

Jeremy Wells is not unconventional, hon. No, sorry, Jeremy Wells is hot. We see them every day and the three of us course. We still swoon every day. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

When the Wells passed. Mm-hmm. that's us As a younger man I had a crush a moaning Myrtle from Harry Potter now that's the ghost

that lives in the bathroom's not It's a voice Yeah that was that was that Yeah Old Kurt Russell Not young Kurt Russell Not interested in

Young Kurt Russell Old Kurt Russell for me Somebody's message In Louis Thoreau is my hall pass Not your traditional crush Yeah no I get that

For some reason No idea Justinda I'd earn Is my get out of jail Free card I think it's called A hall pass

Yeah it's a whole pass I was my partner I have a thing for woman in power, no jokes. Nice. What do you have Helen Clark, do you think? I think so. Maybe, yeah.

I think maybe even a Jenny should be. Oh, okay. Maybe even a Ruth Richardson. If we've got a historical, maybe even a Margaret Thatcher. Oh, yes. Maybe an angle of Merkel. Oh. Are you out of women in power now?

Well, he's out of women in power. And there are so many more. Honoree Quintin. Cleopatra. Yeah, if we're going to run that. Cleopatra, coming at you. Queen Elizabeth the second. Queen Victoria

Coming at you Queen Victoria the second Coming at you My honest celebrity crush is Hannah Waddingham That's not an unusual celebrity crush She is gorgeous Yeah she is

Particularly in the Ted Lassow role She could stand on me in her heels And I'd be like Because she's tall She's big And that's a powerful role That's a woman in power That's a woman in power

This is very gay of me That's from a woman Oh okay wow No I get it Strangle ma'am Sorry What did you just I'm not sure what happened

I'm sorry I've drunk too Much water. Coming at you. Anna Waddington. Coming at you. Play ZM's Fletchbourne and Haley. Play ZM's Fletchbourne and Haley.

Well, I'm very privileged to be joined on the phone by somebody who made me cry on a treadmill at the gym. Well, I was watching the Netflix version of his book, Boy Swallows Universe. Trent, I was late to the party watching this and then reading it afterwards. But thank you so much for your work that was Boy Swallows Universe. Oh, that is the sweetest thing you were crying on a tour. treadmill, thank you. And like that's, mate, that's the story of my life. I was put on this sort of planet to write that book. So I'm so glad you found it. It was. Firstly, though, do you think it's odd that Vaughan watches Netflix shows while he's

running on a treadmill? May, what you want is high emotion in your audience. So, so if if Vaughn is really tapping into that energetic side of himself while he's feeling those deep emotions, that could not be a better place to consume Boy Swallows universe. There's a lot of running in it too guys like it's yeah the kid spends half the show running so it's quite appropriate for one and the best side is you're sweating so it's not super obvious that it's crying

and you're already breathing quite heavily so they're like sobs and stuff can be disguised by the huffing and puffing it's great I love that I love that that is fantastic because people said to me you'll like this show because they know I get emotional when especially when it's like a parent-child relationship those ones

really god and because of the relationship I've kind of got with my parents have grown older and the relationship I've got with my daughters. I saw it from both sides and then like Felix who plays the young guy like dude where the f that they find

that kid that that actually his next level that kid will either be the next leg spin bowler for the Australian cricket team or he'll be Daniel Day Lewis like he actually wants to be he always wanted to be Shane Warren he always wanted to be Shane Warren

and and and I said Felix, I know you're, and he's a brilliant leg spin bowler, but I said, mate, you're actually really gifted. Like, you might want to really think about it. And he sort of shrugged his shoulder. He's like, all right, I'll give it. I'll give it some thought. That's him.

Like, that boy you see Vaughn is the real deal. He's the sweetest kid. And he's sort of like family to me now, that kid. And we finished that shoot and I handed him a, I somehow unbelievably acquired a signed cricket ball by Shane Warren, and I gave it to him. Oh, wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It was just such a sweet mix of kind of everything that kid loves.

Was Warnie still with us when you guys finished filming on that? He was gone, mate. He was gone, yeah. So, like, and that really, like, Felix was crushed by that. Like, Philip, that was his hero. That was his absolute hero. But he's the sweetest, like, he carried the weight. You know the content of that show.

You did. It's really heavy. And he would come up to me. Guys, you're getting me emotional, actually. He would come up to me, and he'd do a scene. He goes, hey, Trent, I'm going to get emotional saying. He'd go, like, this is this. He was 13 at the time.

Hey, Trent, did that really happen to you? And I'd go, like, oh, it actually did, Felix, that one? That one did. And he'd, like, put a hand on my shoulder. He was, like, comforting me, you know what I mean? It was meant to, I'm bloody 46 years old. And I'm like, hey, mate, I'm meant to be comforting you, you know? He's a very sweet kid.

Yeah. Wow. So love stories that are another book of yours. This isn't a Netflix show yet, but it is a stage show. So what kind of stage show is it? It recreates a thing I did, guys. I had a 1970s Olivetti typewriter, and I just wanted to talk to some. It actually all came out of Boycewellers Universe, to be honest.

I wanted to get out of my head because it's so personal that Boycewellers Universe story. I'm a journalist at, you know, by trade, and I wanted to get out on the street and just talk to strangers again. And I've been gifted this Olivetti typewriter that was bequeathed to me by my best mate's mom on her deathbed. And I said to my mate, I want to go sit with that typewriter on the corner of Albert and Adelaide streets in Brisbane, which is just the busiest street in my hometown.

And I sat there for two months with a typewriter asking strangers to tell me love stories. So basically, I had a sign saying, sentimental writer collecting love stories, do you have one to share? and honestly, 200 strangers. Yeah, they just stopped and they told me the deepest things. I'm not talking cheeseball love stories.

I'm talking romantic ones, but I'm talking deep, grieving ones. I'm talking ones of love gone wrong and love missed and, well, love of pets, love of music, love of, you know, just people they couldn't get back. And then I turn that all into a book and now we've turned it all into a stage play. So what it is is there's this. writer character who's sitting, we recreate that corner guys in the play. So we take the audience to that corner and the swirling city is moving around this writer and all these wonderous stories are happening. But, but the thing we explore in the play, which is kind of true, is

like, what kind of troubled man sits for two months on the corner of the city trying to ask people about love? And of course, you know, that was solved by my amazing wife, Fiona. She's like, Why don't we go a bit deeper into kind of what motivates a guy to do that? And of course, the great lesson I was getting, the big secret of, which I never put into the book, was I was there to kind of learn a few things about my own marriage. I've been married for, well, I've been with my wife for 25 years, and I'd probably forgotten to remember a few powerful things about love myself. And I learned them on that corner, and that's what the play's about.

Yeah, we see that journey for this writer guy. and it's just like he makes all these and Vaughn like there's Boystall's Universe stuff in it it's what happens to that 20 year old kid by the end of that story and what happens to a kid like that who carries all that stuff

and when he becomes 46 you know just because you write a book about it and Netflix makes a show you know it doesn't mean all that stuff leaves you and that's what this play addresses wow so it sounds like you want to see Vaughn crying again it feels like I might need to bring some tissues

and can you come and bring your treadmill into the Auckland Civic Theatre. There'll be a special place for you. You can do your run. I'm very heavy foot and I'm very, I'm very... Boom, boom, boom, boom. Yeah. He's ruined and everywhere.

There's a dude over there with the treadmill. Yeah. I've got to bring my treadmill with it to disguise my crying and my breathing and my solving. Well, we're actually running a competition online at the moment at ZDM online. You can submit your love story amen to win flights to Auckland, a hotel stay and a double pass

to see the show love stories at the Civic. gang this is the best competition idea I'm just so touch you're doing this this is so perfect because it's a really that's what it's all about it's about sharing of stories like it's about the power of storytelling so I'm so glad your listeners can like come on you know

send stuff in and that's just so cool we just want to make Vaughn cry basically on the daily they get some sort of sick entertainment out of it yeah Tren thank you so much so much for talking to us this morning and we look forward to seeing love stories on the stage you two are amazing keep up the

brilliant work and all the love to you from across the ditch. And I've got your new book sitting beside my bed. It's my next cab out the rank. Oh, check it out. Oh, man, it's really deep. I can only write this stuff from the heart. So really, yeah, thanks, guys. You're made my morning.

Thank you. You made ours. Thank you so much. And you can see Love Stories at the Civic, the 16th to 19th of October. Five shows only. It's exclusive to Auckland. All the details are at ZEM Online. And while you're there, submit your love story.

And you could score flights to Auckland, a hotel stay, and a double pass to see the show. Play ZM's Fletchhorn and Haley. Definitely feels like ticket buying season at the moment, eh? Well, Laneway pre-sales at 10 o'clock this morning. We're gearing up for that. Then you got me, you had to get in line and get me tool tickets after they announced a second show, so I had to do that.

I'm just working out who's in for Laneway. Yeah, well, I bought Olivia Dean tickets. Did you ask, Skid, if she's coming? I didn't ask Skid if she's coming. You were just chatting with her. She didn't have a baby. I know she's having a baby. But they've got a baby thing.

You put the baby in at the entrance. What? Yeah, it's a pot. Put a chicken, like a baby coat chair. Yeah, that's got air and stuff. They put it with the coats. Right. Well, I suppose that's a nice comfortable thing for the baby to sleep.

And there's like little tubes of baby food. They're little tubes of baby food. Yeah, I'm pretty sure you can. Yeah, but again, the baby's going to be younger than sort of solid. So I think it's going to be sort of going. Well, they're not coming. No, they're not safe to assume. That baby is too fresh.

I think her husband thinks they're coming. It's a fresh. Oh, well, I know I didn't hear him to say that at the baby sheriff. the weekend. I'm like, I don't think we should be planning February concerts, my king. The baby will love lineway. She has just message. She's going to front pack this baby? She's going to baby Bjorn.

Okay, even though I find it weird that people take babies to festivals and concerts, there is nothing cuter than a baby wearing little baby earmuffs. Oh, the headphones. So cute. Yeah. Until they get, you know, like a durry burn to the arm in the mosh pack. We'll just stipulate that this will be a baby baby,

this won't be sort of like a one-year-old baby. This will be a baby baby baby. A baby's a baby. Literally could still smell the milk on it. Its head will be like wobbly bobbly. Okay, well, I'm in charge of the tickets, so we're going to need a yay or nay from here. You're in charge of laneway tickets.

You were also in charge of my tool tickets. I've got tickets, tickets galore. It's ticket season. It's ticket season. And then, and just to sort of carry on from the bog and theme, you know, next year planning on going back over to see my parents who live over in Europe, and I realized that when I land,

one of my favorite bands of all time, system of down, are playing in Paris the night before. Right. And I was like, damn it, like the timing's all off. They announced they were going to add a second show the day after I land. So I was like, oh my God, this is perfect dream come true. Get in the queue, gone, done, sold out, second show, sold out in seconds.

And this is just a concert that I can't miss. So I did something that I literally have told my mother off for so many times. I went to Veergogo. Oh, Haley. Oh, Haley. Oh, Haley. Guys, I went Veyogahel.com And I set, my mom's like,

I use it all the time when they miss out on tickets across Europe. Yeah, right. And she's like, it's been fine. Is that a bit better over there? I don't know. Has it got better? I have to wait and see.

I bought tickets on Villagogo. I sort of went on. The price didn't seem too inflated on what, you know, people were saying, the general thing is worth. We're so, like, in New Zealand we don't have, like in America, it's terrible for ticket resale sites. Oh, I know.

It's like everything sells that in a second. All these sites buy them up. And then they on sell the tickets. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, it's insane. But not outlawed that in the landings. No, because a lot of the sites own the resale tickets sites as well. Oh, neat.

Yeah, it's a bit of a thing. It's a whole thing. It's a bit of a scam, isn't it? But, I mean, look, it's emailed me a ticket. But I was... An actual ticket? An actual ticket. Oh, okay.

I've got a pittiff of the ticket. It does have... Say it, a pitiff. I've always said PDF. Go, you're an idiot. Why would it be PDF? There's no dots in between the letters. I'm sorry, of course, yeah. Named after Edith, Pitteth. Yeah. Who invented the PDF?

Oh, no, regret me on. Yeah, she loved it. So, I've got a ticket. It has some chick's name on it. What's the chick's name? Oh, it's not on this. So she's the one that bought the ticket originally. Yeah, I guess so. But can't she transfer it to you like we do?

Said, make sure your tickets match where you. you ordered. Yes. It's okay if your name isn't printed on your tickets. Oh so you don't have to show ID. That's okay. Yep. The price on it blah blah blah blah blah. Do you know. Okay do you know what though if you if I was you I would go and I never go to concert super early I always look up the set times and try to go like with very little time. Oh I will be going like go so early in case there's a duplicate of this ticket. Because I'm right in the front. Oh you're saying if they've sold it to two people. Yeah because then if you're

the last person to scan it and you're not getting a getting in if they're scamming you. Yeah, I can't, I just saw how much I paid. I must have been out of my mind. Was the person, were you drunk? No, no, I wasn't drunk. I was just like, you know, when you get anxiety about missing out on a concert you really want to see?

Yep. And I was like, well, I can't miss this. I can't miss this. I'm never coming back to New Zealand. Does this cellar have, like, I don't know, I've never used Virgaoga, but is it like trade me where they have like. No, you don't even do anything with the seller. It's just you, you select the concert and the date and everything and the area you want

to go in and it kind of just assigns you a ticket you've requested. So I guess a woman made a lot of money. Oh. A lot of money from you. I'm going to cover that. Is it just you going by yourself? I'm going to a heavy metal concert in Paris on my own. That's pretty much. Yeah.

I don't know. I mean, I will say metal crowds. Or you're not. Metal crowds or I'm not. Yeah, metal crowds are definitely like nice and friendly. You'll make some friends while you're there. Yeah, right. Or I'll get trampled and pulled out of the mosh pit. Or I won't even get in. Long tea. Stay tuned, July next year.

Yeah, Will Haley's Beargo-Go-Go ticket actually worked? Play. Z-M's Fletchforn and Haley. So, Sted Sarandos entered the Berlin Marathon with a... Sorry, who? Do you not know Stead Sarandos? Is that a take on Ted Sarandos, the head of Netflix? I wondered if that's what he was aiming for here. Ah, so Sted Sarandos finished the Berlin Marathon.

in two hours, 59 minutes, 13 seconds, sub three. That is an insane time. That's a really good time for a marathon. That is really, really good. But of course, Stead Sarandos is not Stead. I will say Berlin's flat. When people do a flat marathon or a half, I'm like, it is flat. Do the Great Wall of China Marathon and come back to me.

Oh, my God, my friend did it. Or you climb it. The Auckland half is... Helly is, helly is anything. The harbour bridge is steep. There's a few steep. There's a fused of volcanic cones to conquer on the shore. Actually, you're right, I won't do it.

I was considering it. Sted Sarandos is actually Harry Stiles. He enters under a pseudonym. I guess for like, so that no one's like watching the whole time. Although it didn't stop people from recognising him and taking photos with him. Oh no, he's in little shorts. We can see his bloody, we can see his tattoos. And then I guess, I guess once Word got out, people saw his marathon bib number and then did that photo search thing.

Oh, we can search with a number. You can search by the number. You could buy his official marathon photos. Oh, my God. How much to buy the Harry Styles official marathon photo? That would be amazing. No one looks good. No one looks good running.

He looks the best version of bad. But you know, you're sweating. Oh, wow, that's amazing. It's like by the Brandenburg gate and that's really cool. Yeah, I'm sure it's beautiful. But sub three's insane. Because every time he sees photos of him, it's either he's out on a date or with her.

Who's he with it? the moment, Zoe Kravitz? Zoic Cravitz. Or he's running. Hot couple A. He's always papped running. Because he must train a lot. It must be his escape.

You know, he's got his music and then that he just gets to sort of bloody... Can I ask? I'm just going to work out his average pace. Oh yeah, to be a good pace. What was his... Two hours, 59 and 14 seconds. Two hours, 59 minutes, 14. You get to call that sub three.

Yes, you do. You did wonder this morning what he's running from. Yeah, I mean, he's always running, right? With, like, into a different relationship or whatever. He should just be running into the studio. Yeah, that's Calvin's complaint. He should be running into the studio. Not this studio. Not running away.

He can run in here. Not running away from making music. Run some bars or whatever it's called, you know? Yeah, run some tracks. I know. That's a four minute, 15 kilometres. Average is four minutes, 15 a kilometre. Wow.

Yeah. I take half an hour to do 5K. So I would be four hours. He'd be lapping you, which would be quite nice because then you could see him run past you. Hi again. Hi again. Hi again. How's your run going?

How's your run going? So he was averaging 14.1 kilometres an hour. Wow. What did you do your marathon in? 332? That's still really good. Yeah, I was quite stoked with it. Yeah.

But man, he is hoon in it. Fang in it. Fan. Haley. Play ZM's Fletchbourne and Haley. We want to take your stories and calls now about those times when you shouldn't be alive. I love this.

Like you cheated death. I've never cheated death. And that's good that death hasn't come for me. Do you remember that time that the pot plant fell out from the apartment and missed my face by like a, I reckon I just would have been a vegetable, though. I don't reckon I would have been. It would have conked you. It would have conked me.

Yeah. I probably wouldn't have remembered you guys. I reckon you saw a jaguar in the wild. That's right. I'm not talking about the posh European sports car. This posh European sports car drove out of the jungle. What was it doing in the jungle? How did it got there?

You know, that was crazy. That's when I honestly thought I was going to die that day when it turned around and looked at me. It would be like, what a great way to go. No, horrendous. It's going to tear you apart. Take too long. I went through a spate of listening to podcasts about people who have survived bear attacks. Oh, yeah.

And I'm like, horrible. You'd rather die. Yeah, take me now and go quit for the neck. So the reason we bring this up today is a story out of the UK an elite special forces soldier was left.

Sorry, this is my immediate thought about most things. Just the uniform. Sorry, what's your job? Elite special forces? Hot. Yeah. An elite special forces operator was left with life-changing injuries

after he was accidentally shot seven times at close range by a fellow soldier who thought he had blanks. And like, I've read this story. I don't know if the soldier was like, hey, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang. Surely after the first one, you notice that it's gone in. It doesn't say what the gun was, but if it was a, like a machine gun, they can fire rapidly. And then I'm assuming he was wearing body armour, he survived.

Seven shots to the body. Yeah. And he survived, because the guy that was shooting it, I don't know if it was a bit of, bit of a joke or whatever. What a dick. He thought he had blanks, but he didn't. He had live rounds. But don't point even blank.

Oh, my God. Yeah, I mean, a lot of the information has been suppressed because it's an elite special forces. Yeah. But, yeah, apparently, he, I mean, it's not like he is fine now. He still has, like, life-altering injuries. Jesus. Seven times close range, like, I don't know if the guy thought it was a joke or what, but that's crazy.

And he's alive. How was he alive? And there was a story the other day This is in New Zealand somewhere It was in the news A car rolled and it came to a stop on its side Right before a big cliff And they were just like

Oh they would have died if they went over there Like those kind of stories That's what I reckon that's what we want to hear You know sometimes like You do feel like it would be like quite nice Do you know because then you get a whole new perspective on life You feel alive? Yeah you feel alive

Sometimes I feel a bit dead inside I thought you meant I've been put into a coma for two weeks Just to have a bit of a rest Oh my God same I'm like don't feed me that much. Do you know what I mean? Like, feed me to be a man.

Yeah, yeah. I'll take the nutrients. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll take the nutrients and that's it. Two weeks. They just put a drip in me for two weeks. Yeah, yeah. And while I'm in a coma,

give me some tattoos as well. Do you know what I get that pain out of the way? Yeah, yeah. Lift the boobs. Do you know, if I'm in a coma, lift the tips. That's another good phone and topic. What would you have them do if you were in a coma? Yeah, great.

I don't think that's a good phone in topic. But you're kind of like putting it off or whatever. You don't want to do it. I'd get a vasectomy, for example. Yes, Snip, Snip. I'm in a moment. Why haven't you had a vasectomy yet? Because I can't play with myself for a few days,

and that seems like a terrible touch. You're the same age, basically. Why haven't you? You know, it's rich coming from you. Well, it hasn't happened so far, has it? I think you're doing it wrong. But anyway. You're doing it so wrong.

I think you might be doing it wrong. Okay, all eight hundred dollars at him. We want to take your calls. That's what somebody said. I've always thought a holiday, a hospital holiday sounds great. Do you think that... I wonder if we could get to a point

where it would be acceptable in society for two weeks of our annual leave we just put into a medically injurious coma. Oh my God, yes, please. Honestly, when I had my shoulder operation and I woke up, and it was only a few hours, I just felt like I had the best sleep. I've got to book my colonoscopy today,

and I'm like, I hate the sleep. Propophole. Propheal. Show drug of choice. No, apparently the producers are saying that's really bad to say that. Is that? Okay. Come on, you can't say anything these days.

0800 does it him We want to take your stories now You can text in 9696 Tell us your I shouldn't be a live story We want to know Why shouldn't you be alive

Have you cheated death There was a A special Elite special forces Who was Who By the sounds of it was hot Hayley is imagining

Biceps Are the circumference of my Tye And I've got thick thighs He was shot seven times By live rounds When the person Firing the gun

and thought they were blank. Seven times. Shouldn't be live. Here are some messages in when I was 16 years old. I got toxic shock syndrome from a tampal. Oh no. That's so, don't. You can lose limbs.

You can lose your life. How does that happen? I think because it's like left in for too long than the blood. It's not moldy. It's not moldy. It just turns toxicy. You've left it in too long. But it would have to be a, could it be bacterial.

Yeah. It's probably bacterial rather than. A bad tampon? No, that was always the Urban Legion. Like if you bought a cheaper brand, they were the ones that gave you... Sounds like that's giving big Libra. You know, and I've paid for that rumour.

Oh, you're saying the pad people have put out a rumor about the tampons. Yeah, being like, God, you've got to buy quality. Yeah, gotcha. So they got toxic shock from the tampon. Ended up in ICU for three days with kidney failure, heart failure, and blood pressure so low, it wouldn't read on the machine.

Oh, my gosh. Still here to tell the tail. Wow. I have a shower that's over a bathtub And my natural lack of coordination I escape at death at least once a day Will I nearly slip and break my neck You need one of those

Things from the hotel showers Yeah The little octopus sucky Octopat I hate those on my toes Oh my God Odyssey they should be banned They're just even touching them

And they're always brown They always gone off brown Why are they always brown Just give me a fresh one every single time Did they start out as white And now they've moved through beige to brown. Yeah. And also get toilet brushes hotels.

Oh. That's embarrassing. My God. Hotels have toilet brushes. You think that my shit doesn't smear the bowl when I'm away? Give it a pre-flush and put down a pad of your landing pad. Yeah, I know, but if you don't, and then you've got to go in and do that thing, like if someone's in your hotel room, like I was in a hotel room this weekend. And then I took a pub and then there was no thing.

And it's like, well, now I've got to get in there manually. With toilet paper. With toilet paper with my wet hand and then just be like, my personal shame anyway. Yeah. Amy, when did you cheat death? Hello. Hello. When I was eight, I went next door to my neighbour's house.

They weren't home. And I saw my cat sitting on top of their water tank. And I thought, okay, I'll go grab my cat. I climbed up. I sat on the lid with her and we both fell in. We both survived. We were okay. It was only, yeah, it was only up to my knees.

but then we found out later that day that they were actually due to get their tank filled that morning and the guy had called in sick and said he'd do it tomorrow. Oh my gosh. Wow, so if he had actually turned up and filled it up, you might not be here today. Yeah, exactly. We would have drowned.

But if you were, it was full, you would have floated and you would have been able to grab the lid and get yourself out. I'm just blue-clothed. I don't know. It's pretty dark inside there, and the hole's pretty small. Were you quite a sinky child? No. Sinky.

I think she's a heavy She sounds like a sinker A sinker Sort of a heavier child My cat might have been What did the cat do Because I'd imagine Even in that knee height

What did the cat Would have been going feral Oh the cat Went insane So I picked her up And I was holding her for about I think it must have been About 10 15 minutes

And I was just screaming For my mum to hear me She did eventually But you know I was next door So it did take a while You were trespassing as well Amy, I'll just say you were trespassing.

You sound of the vintage where you may have got a hiding for your troubles. Oh, yeah, maybe. Yeah, maybe it's burned. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How good was that? Your parents used to beat you for surviving. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're silly cow.

I'll give you somebody to survive about. Amy, thank you. Some messages in. When did you survive death? Cheat death? And it was the heady days of the 1990s and my parents would let me take the tractor and trailer down the road paddock

of our 90 acre farm to check animals, etc. I shouldn't be alive after a roly-poly. Jesus. My dad was in a car creation who was younger. Everyone in the car died except for dad. The floorboard on impact snapped and trapped his leg which stopped him being ejected from the car. Oh wow.

That's serious stuff. I was in London in 2011 when the bombings happened. I just left King's Cross Station. I was just in the bus and the bomb exploded in the train station I've been in moments before. That would be... That would be... You'd never forget that, eh? That would be... Insane.

Like live life differently Never take the bus You'd can't pay DM every day That DM's going to get car paid hard I was in a car accident That went off the Rimutaka Hill in Wellington Car went straight down the hill But there were two small branches

That somehow managed to stop the car Directly behind the branches Was a cliff and a straight drop down We 100% would not have survived that tree That's crazy Karen you have missed two bombings Yeah I do count my blessings

Where did this happen? Back in Sydney. I was living in Sydney in the late 70s. Did they have bombs in the 70s going off everywhere? Really? Yeah. The first time, I think it was the first time, I'd just gone to make the last payment on my lay-bye

for my brand-new hot going to the nightclub. Yeah, hot. Hot. Seventies, it would have been hot. It would have been short. Yeah, cheery red, yeah, beautiful. Out of that shiny plastic stuff. Yeah, yeah, pleathery vinyl.

And the shop was in the underpass drive out of the car park from the Hilton Hotel and coming out of the top driveway was apparently some guy who was looking into police corruption or drug dealers or something, some Christian pastor or something. Right. And they bombed his car. and he was killed sadly. Right. I'm looking it up.

The Sydney Hilton Hotel bombing, 13th of February 1978. Her story checks out. Wow. Okay. And what was the other bombing? I'll Google that one too. I'd put my brand new jacket on as I came out of this shop because I just thought, I want to look hot.

Yeah, and then you get covered in debris. Yeah, yeah. Red pleather covered in debris doesn't hit the same. The jacket was shredded. Really? So it actually, it actually, like, destroyed the jacket. Oh, Jesus. I was throwing in the air and thrown across the road.

Yes, Karen, Karen. Wait, Ed's the war was the second incident? I kept sitting down in Darlinghurst in Sydney. Yep, bloody Sydney. Same sort of era. A friend of mine was like an interior decorate property of Delta. So I bumped him to some of the Kiwi guy from on the street. He says, oh, you've better come and see what I've done with this new townhouse.

And, oh, the traffic lady's giving me. Oh, tell her to piss off. We're in the middle of a very interesting. We want to know about the second bond and Karen. Sorry, the traffic lady's giving me heat. Well, wait, pass the road. We'll sort her out. We're on the national radio.

Sorry, I'm on the way again. You can call them back. No, no, no, no, call us that. We'll have a phone over. We'll get an exemption. Tell her you telling us about he survived two bombings. So the friend had said, come in and see what I've done to this place. Yeah.

It was one of those brick townhouses. Oh, beautiful. Beautiful. And he'd taken all the back. wall out and put two stories of plate glass into it. Oh, Jesus. Here we go. Looking pretty stunning, very 80s, lots of grey, lots of black, lots of black leather couches.

Oh, yeah. The Loo, went into the loo, which was like, it was like Darth Vader's bathroom. Oh, my God. It's very black, okay. I imagine. I'm looking to flush the toilet and thinking these plumbing fixtures

I've never seen anything like this I think this is the thing to touch I touched this metal plate on the wall and was thrown through the air the toilet flew off the ground

and some flyer I thought oh my god I freaked my face in bathroom and then realized I couldn't hear anything freshly renovated it was another bomb staggered out of the bathroom

saw my friend on the floor with the plate glass just raining down shards of glass on him What? Karen, what was this bomb? Was a bomb in the toilet? The bomb was a street away at the Croatian Social Centre.

Wait a second. Darlinghurst, Croatian Social Centre, Croatian. It was a block away. So you touching the plate didn't mean anything. It just was the time. It just was the time.

It was a moment. Friendly. Sorry? It was just the timing of you touching the plate. Yep. It was a block away. But I kept thinking, oh my God, I've done this. You've literally blown up the toilet.

So you've been in two bomb blasts, and you've cheated death twice, Karen. Oh, multiple times. I'm first time caller. First time. And what? It's only Tuesday. It's caller of the week.

We're going to hook you up thanks to Kimmer's Warehouse, home of the biggest brands at the last. lowest price. We've got a chemist warehouse price back, Karen. Well, thank you. Thank you for your strength. Thank you for being in life. You can move along with the parking lady now and we'll sort out your prize pack there. Fantastic.

We're out of time there, but thank you so many messages. So many. Of people cheating death. Someone messaged and saying that they were supposed to be in the building that collapsed in Christchurch and the Christchurch earthquake, but they had a meeting that got cancelled. They're like, oh, do we don't come in? That was the freakyest thing about that is there was so many

and it's like September 11, you know, so many people were like, Oh, it's supposed to be in the world trotting of that day. It just didn't happen. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Haley. Play ZM's Fleshworn and Haley. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Do do do do do do do do. Did it do to do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do.

It's units of measurement specific to an item week at Fact of the Day. learned about a firkin of butter and a garne of butter. Oh, a firkin. How much is a firkin? A furkin is a quarter of a barrel. Many. About 25 kilograms in your modern weight of butter. A lot of butter.

We did it in the garner butter. That's about 3.6 cages of butter. It's not, we did that yesterday. Move on. I'm just recapping. Haley wasn't here. I wasn't listening. I wasn't.

Originally Monday was going to be the day I talked about Huan. But then I moved WAN to today because I thought you'd like that. I love Juan. You love Juan? I love Juan. Well, today's specific measurements to do with WANn. Come to us from the champagne in Bordeaux.

Oh, yeah. Produces. In the 18th to the 19th century, they began giving biblical names to large format bottles. It was a marketing thing to sound grand and partly due to a nod,

the tradition of grandeur associated with kings. So they had a Jeroboam, which is named after the first king of the northern kingdom of Israel. The size varies. But basically, if it was champagne, it was a three-letter bottle of champagne.

Oh, Jesus. Three liters. That's perfect for a night. Do you know what I'm going to need large, my ice bucket's not big enough for that. No, just get one of those tubs that they wash your toddler in. The warehouse tubs. Yeah, the big tubs. Yeah, or a miter 10 bucket will do.

Yeah, big orange mighty 10 bucket. Yeah. Because if you're buying a three-liter bottle of champagne, you're definitely going to have a bright orange bucket. 100%. Nothing says, Jeroboam, like a big orange, might of 10 bucket. So it was a 4-liter if it was champagne and 5 litres if it was Bordeaux, more of a red wine situation.

How are you even picking that up when it's heavy? Like when it's full. I mean it's five KGs and probably another couple KGs in the bottle. It's manageable to hold but it's a bit awkward And it's wetting into a slim flute as well It gets even crazier because the next bottle up size was Methazula

Named for the longest lived figure in the Bible Methazula lived for 969 years If you're familiar with the bad Of course it did Yeah you're right actually It was gender fluid It was it day Okay

It's not right And it was a 6-liter bottle of wine. Goodness me. Six-liter bottle of wine. Wow. Now the next one named after the Almighty King of Babylon. Nebuchad... Nebuchad...

By the rivers of Babylon. Well, it was a river of wine because it was 15 litres. It was equivalent to 20 modern bottles, 15 liters of wine. And it was a nebuchadnezzar. Nebuchadnezzar. You're going to need a little goon tap on that. Do you need a little tap on the... That's a great idea.

those beer towers? Yeah. A hack online. This could be a Shannon's hat going into summer. Someone got a watermelon. Yeah. Slice the top off.

Put one of a stick, an immersion blender, a stick blender in. Mixed up all the watermelon thing, glugged in a bottle of tequila and then banged a tap in the bottom of the... Watermelon. Yeah. Watermelon tequila tap.

Producer Shibou has raised a really good point. This is good for a B.O. Because you get one corkage. One corkage. No, a lot of places are just per... Nebuch a caduzer. Now, he'd do a... Pork it's charge per person.

Per person, yeah. Because they know that. Who had wine. Yeah. Right. Per person, not per bottle. Okay, they've found a way around that. Because otherwise you just take a cask.

Take a cask. I take a one litre vodka. And from wine to a... Don't you laugh, but we've been to a big way... Yeah, we've done that. Yeah, we've done that. We've done that. We've been acceptable.

So another unit for measuring alcohol is a word that appears in English in the late 1500s. It originally meant a small wooden cup or mug, often used in taverns. But it was an... A noggin. A noggin? Yeah. The amount of how to

quarter pint would be a noggin. You'd say a noggin of whiskey, please. And you would get a quarter pint of it. Also, noggen, of course, use your noggin. Your head, because it was a rounded cup that looked like a head. Look like a noggin.

So use your noggin. So today's fact of the day is Wann came in massive bottles named after biblical figures and you could order a noggin of spirits. Fact of the day, day, day, day. day, uh, du-d-d-do-to-do-to-do-to-n-o-n-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-tttoo.

Crete Bratton is performing at Sky City on Wednesday the 1st of October a night of comedy and music, and you probably, our listeners, know him, best, from the office, the US version of the office, and he's on the Zoom with us now. Creed, hello. Hello. Hello, gentlemen. Fletch, Vaughn, how are you guys doing? Very well, thank you.

Very well. Now, you are sort of the unseen half of one of the most memeable moments of the office. The corporate wants you to tell the difference between these two pictures, and there's at least seven. Which has become a meme that you were there for. Your character was to be distracted from causing too much cast in office. What is that like every time you see that online or it's referenced? I mean, your character is. It just reminds me that I got by with soul.

much. I never had to really work. I got caught because I wasn't doing my job. And remind to remind everybody out there, do your job, folks, or don't end up like Creed. Don't end up like creed. It's, what was it like being part of the U.S. office, which is one of the most streamed shows of all time. Like, is it daily recognition on the streets? It's not, but not that much. People kind of get out of their way when they see me, you know. When they meet me, they're actually disappointed or relieved. It's one of the two They're kind of

They're leery Because I was like I went around with blood Coming off my body I was stealing things from people Obviously killed people So you know They don't want to meet me guys

No I don't want to meet you So what is what is your show like What do you cover Because it's kind of It's music and stand up And stories of your time Yeah I mean

It's by the way fans It's safe to see me there because you'll be away, there'll be a stage separate. I'm not close enough to get you with a knife or anything, so that's good. Well, it's not really stand-up. I wouldn't go to do a show without my guitar. And it's really not that fun.

It's not that funny, really. I just kind of tell these stories. I ramble on. There's no payoff. There's no conclusions, any of these stories. Sometimes I'll come out and say half of a joke. and walk off to the side of the stage and then peek out and to see if the people are still interested

or still there, then I'll come out and finish the joke. It's like a on-stage version of this radio show, which often does. Yes. I can see you guys are phoning it in right now. Always phoning it in. So tell us more about your life as a musician

because you were in like a fairly large folk pop group back in the 60s? Yeah, in the late 60s I had was a, drama um drama major in college so after college i went to europe and met two guys i was with a folk trio in europe for over two years playing all over all over europe in north africa middle east you know back in the east germany red curtain curtain countries at that time wow then the grassroots started in the year age of uh summer of love six late sixties we and then we had lived for the day went to number of five

No, Midnight Confession, you went to number five, that's right. And then lived for today, that was the big song, played guitar and sing harmony on that. So we just toured around all over the place, and that was an amazing time. And I thought, this was my mid-20s. And I thought, well, this is pretty easy. I just started out, and here I had a big rock star.

And then 25 years after the band is over, I straggled in my, just turning 60, and I get on the office. So, needs to say, I had to keep, my nose to the grindstone and, uh, uh, keep a positive attitude or I could have, you know, fallen by the wayside guys. And so, absolutely. Because it's, I was thinking that's like you've got these two like peaks of fame in

completely different times. Like, how, how did you find that? Because like, I guess what's the 60s 70s, there's no social media, whereas at the height of the office fame, there's social media, people could be out with a camera seeing you in public. well the thing is that i had i was in a big hit group but it was just the name of the group and they could see what we looked like on an album but still if you're walking in new york city or san francisco or l.A it's not like people are going to go oh but when the office hit yeah then that was that was a whole different that's that's the you're you made a mark

in the zeitgeist for that show so that was crazy and uh yeah i'm living in a in a compound now with razor wire around. I was going to say, your anonymity was gone. It's gone. Yeah, absolutely gone. Yeah. So, like,

what, so you were 60 when you started the office that's nearly 20 years ago. So, like, what's the next chapter of your life hold? More touring these sorts of shows. Well, right now I'm 82, and as you'll see it on stage,

I'm still got it, you know? God, I don't, I honestly, I cannot believe you're 82. No. What is the secret to your youthful look? Ginsings suppositories. that would tickle I think that might tickle

no listen when you start out with them my little snapper didn't like him in the beginning but now I kind of looked forward to it yeah

look forward to it do you know that's what we can all hope for a long happy life where we look forward to our gymsing's depository

I've seen them in the pharmacies you can get little finger gloves for suppositories so just well that's for something else but we don't I just wash

I just think I just washed it off afterwards just a family show guys yeah yeah yeah yeah well at Sky City on Wednesday the first of up October, it's a night of comedy and music, Creed Bracken performing.

Tickets from ticcocet.com.com.com.com. Tickets available. Now, have you been to New Zealand before? Is this your first time? I was going to go there two years ago. I was touring Australia planned to come over and just spend a week or two just driving around. Because I heard so many beautiful things. And then I got offered this corporate party in L.A.

And, excuse me, in the States. And it was too much money to turn down. So, you know, when you have to go down there. this time I'm going a week early I'm going up to Kiri Kiri and hang out because I heard it's beautiful there so that'll be fun right

Yeah that's a beautiful That's a beautiful Overlooked for the picturesque South Island But it's beautiful up in the Bay of Islands It is it is well Enjoy your time in New Zealand And yeah if you want to see Creed those tickets available at tikiTech.com.com.

It'll be Wednesday the 1st of October Thank you so much I hope you guys are coming to the show Soon you are, I'll see you there Well come I'll see We'll do a pint after the show gentlemen.

Play, ZDM's, Fletch, Vaughn and Haley. People online are calling for a level of, quote, civility and decorum. In the world? In the, no, just in movie cinemas. Everyone else have that. Just go crazy. 65% of people believe it's unacceptable

to take off your shoes at the cinema. Now, we've talked about this before because, one, every now and then, if we're interviewing someone, we'll get a private screening of a film. Yep. And maybe sometimes, if it's just the three of us in the cinema, we might slip off a boot. You're a sneaker.

I don't think that's George Burd, who's got the day show next. Big advocate. Are you? You've got to get the RMs off. They've got to breathe. Oh, 100%. Even sometimes with my sneakers now,

I feel like I get restricted and like release the feet. But would you in a public cinema? If they're recliner cinema seats, you're feet are up. Kick off the boot. People online are not happy. They don't like to see people's toes.

And then some people call it, they call it naughty stepping. They say that's when you take off the sock as well. We've got toes. No, we'll leave the sock on. Yeah, you've got to leave the toe. the dogs have to stay in. You don't want to see them.

We don't want the dogs being let out. Especially some of those big cinemas. Yeah, a bit sticky the floors. You went to the cinema last night. I did go to the cinema last night. I saw one battle after another than you. Nice. Leonardo DiCaprio.

Oh, that looks so good that movie. It's really, really good. Do you know who kills it in it? I mean, everybody in it's great. Sean Penn plays the grossest person you can imagine. Amazing. Benicio del Toros. I love him.

And he is so good. Yeah, like Leonardo DiCaprio. No, no need to even say, Lennar, just a constant reminder that he's one of our generation's finest actors. So were you on a recliner? I was in a recliner. And so you get it. I kicked off the Timbs.

Yeah, yeah, kick off the Timbs. I turned heavy to sit up and they're trying to drag the thing. Kicked off the Timbs. How pissed off would you be if you went to the channel? Clean socks, though. I had a shower sort of late afternoon before going to the cinema. Because this is the end of the day for a lot of people. They're in the cinema.

And then someone's taken off their day-long thing. Yes. That doesn't matter. That doesn't matter. You would sit next to a strange. You got stinky dogs though. Well, you're not going to know. You're not going to know if they've had those socks on all day, right?

Yes, you're about to smell them. So do you know our friend Mike just came back yesterday? They landed this morning. Our friend's Mike and Matt. Just have a stinky foot. No, so he was saying, I've found a new ick. He could smell the guys in the seat behind him, in the row behind him. He could smell his breath the whole flight.

Oh, you can't. Breath that troubles that badly. I'm not in a long flight. I'm toothbrushing all. I brush my teeth multiple times. I'm a long flight. Who doesn't pack a toothbrush? Yeah.

for a long haul flight. Or at least a bloody mint or something. And you heard it after the first meal and then you heard it again before landing. Because I said, oh, was it like, you know, like sicky breath? He's like, no, it was bad breath. And you could smell it the whole flight. Pelotosis.

That is disgusting. See, hey, would you rather smell someone's stinky breath or their stinky toes? Tinky toes. 100%. Tose every time. I don't know. Toes is so jammy.

Because it's kind of like a veggie mite marmite smell rather than a... Yeah, then like something died inside of you and you're rotting from your core. Stinky breath. so hovers it's like heavy you know what I mean like that it's from the mouth yeah it's from the mouth

farts or farts or bad breath farts farts farts are all good they kind of speaking of something dying in me oh my god the farts you know plain farts they don't smell because there's so much going on and I landed and I thought I'd let out a final fart yeah heaven it's to murgatroyd

heaven's it is to murgatroy yeah something has died inside of that really four those back smells it yeah my period's on its way and you know those farts pre and you're later Oh, far out. Far out. I don't.

Oh, my gosh. Oh, they crank up to level a thousand. Yeah, it's farts, but also TMI, but you get constipated sometimes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then when that first, when that first number two comes, it's... Can I leave now? Can I leave now? Perip's.

Well, I'm actually... Fairy poops is something else. I'm an ally. Yeah, I'm an ally. I just don't need the details. Yeah, right. That's what allies actually... I'm an ally by proxy.

I, yeah, that's not quite. Arms distance ally. Arms length ally. Is that the point? podcast done because I'm busting for a poise. Basting for a poise. Jesus. Give us a review.

Play ZM's Fletchhorn and Haley.