ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - September 25th 2025

Episode Date: September 24, 2025

On today's episode of the Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley Big Pod, Vaughan asks for reviews or a new investment and Hayley didn't make it to the bathroom and it turns out she is not alone .Listen to find out more Fletch and Shannon get free money $5 Wine Top 6 - Top 6's Megan Markle would do Sushi shop's strict rule on soy sauce SLP - How do you use a public bathroom Japanese city is capping screen time Gen Z are shagging in the car Anybody bought a...? When did you get attacked by an animal Hayley's drink bottle Catfish is cancelled Fact of the day When did you NOT make it to the bathroom See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

From the ZM Podcast Network This is... Fleshwon and Haley's Big Pod Thanks to animates, making happy happen for pets. Good morning, welcome to the show. Fletch Fawn and Haley, two minutes past six. What's that?

I don't know if I'd like to wake up to the smell of blueberry muffins and bacon from an alarm clock. What, it comes out of an alarm clock? The smell? What if it wafted, vivid at you? No, I'm away. You know what I'm going to me?

It needs to be... A whiteboard marker. Or something that will get you out of bed. Yes, something sharp. No, but people don't wake up during house fires, do they? That's why they... You need smoke alarms. Yeah, I just don't know if the smell thing...

I mean, obviously a gimmick. Yeah. Not getting too much into this, but... What about a texture thing? Like, it spritzes you in the face? That I'd like, wake up a little bit... Well, that's what people... Some people, like, you need that snooze all the time.

Just need it. I was good this morning. Were you? I had a shower and blow dried my hair. I was up. Did you? How good is the pre-work shower? It is elite, but I'll never choose it over more sleep.

I just had to today because I did a hair mask last night. You guys will understand. What's a hair mask? Yeah. I don't. Yeah, I really don't. Is it where you put it on and then you go, Somebody stop me!

I hated that. Yeah, that was horrible. The top six. Smoking! The top six is coming up. Yeah, the top six, top six is Megan Markle would do. Oh, okay. Why would she do a top six?

Megan Markle's going to do a radio show. Oh, God, damn it. Do we have more competition? We've got more, we've got more competition. I don't know. I'd take her. You know, I feel confident against Megan Markle. Where's she doing this radio show?

And her, like, she got a home office or something. It's like a, no. It's like a serious studio. Like, they just hot desk. Hot desk studios. Proper radio station. Interesting. Okay.

Yeah. We'll delve into this soon in the top six. Next on the show, though. Why people like me and Vaughn are mad at people like you and Shannon, Play ZM's Flashbourne and Haley Like buy me a coffee or something Or like do you know what I mean Like this is so unfair

And I don't understand So if this is Is this specific to Auckland That this happens It's specific to Yeah I don't know if there are any other companies Or places in New Zealand That are set up like this

It's so odd So And I don't Maybe I'm a communist Maybe I'm a socialist You're a goddamn Red commie Maybe we should

maybe we should do this for all the companies. Shannon and I woke up this morning with free money in our account. How much money's in our bank accounts this morning, Shannon? Che-chang, $364. Yay! So every power customer gets in central Auckland. No, not in the Auckland. Not West.

No, it's what used to be Auckland City before Auckland became a super city and all the powers, my powers combined. Yes, you are Captain Planet. If you pay the power bill, you, they get in touch with you and you give them your bank details and every year,

if they have a good year. Yeah, I remember this from when I lived close to town. Yeah. And it's a little couple of hundred turned up and you'd be like, nice. Because it's a private trust that owns the power lines. Yes.

Vector. And so because it's not a private company, they give the money back to the customers. How, like, let's do this for all the companies. I know, but I also use power, but because I'm slightly a longer drive away, and as is born. You're in a different area.

We don't get it. Yeah, well, Shannon and I are rich today. Well, then you can go buy us a coffee or something. You didn't do anything for this. Yeah, treat. I'm not just going a coffee, coffee in a slice. Well, Shannon's actually already decided what she's spending her money on.

Oh, what is spending it on, hon. I need some new sheets, and this is perfect because it's like money in for the house, money out for the house. House is bold apartment. Can't tell everybody why you're buying new sheets. Do you soil them? No.

No, this wasn't off your conversation, but I've been using a queen sheet on a double bed for two years, and I've had enough. Why have you been doing that? Wait, a fitted sheet? Yeah. Why didn't you buy double bed? I think if you're not using a fitted sheet,

if you're using traditional set, I think it's a hack to go a size up. My size up on my duvays. Oh, you always go to size up on your duvays. Top sheet and duvet, you always go the next size up. But the fitted sheet It's got to be fitted. There's nothing worse than floppy sheets. No, I know, and I've been dealing with that for nearly

two years. But when I moved into the apartment, I was like, I don't know how long we're going to stay here. I don't know if I want to commit to a double bed because that's tight, like, you know, it's quite too little. Because that's all you can fit in your... Well, it's furnished. It's not even my choice. Okay, right.

And then we've decided to stay, and I was like, I'm just sick of the sag. Every day I have to like hack it across and I was like, it's time to commit to the double sheet. It's really new sheets. So you're going to buy them with this little money. Yeah, but the issue is I was looking up

double sheets and all of them are like kid prints because no adult have a double. No, there's some company. I've got a double bed in my front room and it's, you can buy them without kitty prints on. Or just get kitty prints. I think you'd look great with a little spaceship rockets on your sheets. My other bed, because I've got

two beds, is a king single and that's even harder to find beds for. I think it's a good use of money. Fletch, what are you going to do? I don't know. Like fun. I reckon margaritas Margaritas Margarita money

It's reinvesting it into the market It is yeah Well that's what I plan to do It was reinvested into the local economy Wow what a hero Thank you Well let's just pause for this Hero amongst us

Well you'll get some of the margaritas Play ZEMs Flash Vaughan and Haley I'm very clogged up at the moment So maybe stop teasing me They were swift On de them Fitchford Haywe

Well I've gone through a whole box of tissues in like a few days. Yeah, I know, Snots Bill. What do you call this design on your tissue box today? Well, Haley purchased this one. It's a sorbent box. Sort of a lily of sorts? Dark, yeah, purple.

It's a... I must say it's a limited... This is also stupid when they say a limited edition design on the box. Who gives that shit on a tissue box? Nobody's getting a limited design tissue box. Don't open this one. It's limited design. You've got to get to the supermarket.

There's limited edition sorbents. Yeah, I always get the ones with... tigers on. They didn't have the one we usually like with the animals. It's Labrador's for me. I don't know why. Okay. If there's a dog on the tissue box, I'll buy that one.

One with purple lilies and I apologize. You'll go through them in this week because you're so clogged up anyway. Because of Taywhose Swift. Chawes Swift. Tewa Swift. So DFS Galleria in Auckland is in trouble. Now they just shut down their Auckland Central. Yeah, yeah.

All the tourists went there. Didn't they? Yeah, so the duty-free store basically is what. it is and it's like it's duty free but not at the airport. I don't know how it works. It's private. I think crew for cruise ship and if you're visiting the country and you go in and you've got your boarding pass

and stuff. Yeah so you still can't walk in hilly nilly. Yeah. You've got to be a traveller to get the discounts. But the Auckland Council's investigating whether or not they've breached alcohol legislation during the closing down sale because

they were selling bottles of Villa Maria wine. Now that's an... Absolutely. Darling, I've been to Villa Maria. Darling, a fan wine. It's a fan wine. They were selling Villa Maria, Pyramid Valley and Esk Valley wines at the lowest price, $4.40 a bottle. I remember because that was like a new, that was like the headline on the here all day. $4 something wine.

Up to 90% off, $4.40 wine. Obviously they just wanted everything gone, right? So everything was just reduced to clear. Well, they're literally shutting the doors. But you can't. And we were learning this morning. You can't do that. Because you're promoting excess drinking because it's cheap.

It's part of the sale and supply of alcohol act, 2020. 2020. Right. Future, 2012. Alcohol discounts exceeding 25%. Oh, okay. The license premises is at breach. That's interesting.

Yeah, yeah. So even your journey free of the airport, like you can't go that cheap. Even if you're a local little store. Right. can't just have your own bloody, come on, get a $5 a dollar of wine. Bars as well get in trouble when they do drink specials sometimes, they are that are ridiculous. Yeah, like a dollar for this, like dollar for that, and you're like, well, you actually can't do that. Because it does, it just promotes irresponsible drinking.

Yeah. So I was just looking up famed classic, oh, was I accidentally that thing on the alcohol site where I said I wasn't over 18 and now I'm saying I can't, I can't visit. So I'm looking up legendary bottle of Christoph vodka. Oh, my God. Oh, yeah, like back in the day, those were like 10 bucks, eh? Fuelled my later teenage years. Do you know what else fueled mine are Madjacks? Madjacks. There was Wilson's whiskey, Madjacks rum,

Christopher. Kind of every spirit had a... Yeah. There was a bourbon one. Or scrumpy ciders, because a bang for buck. Yeah. Also, Christoph did the goon with mixed with orange. Yes, that's right. Split a goon.

You guys want to split a goon? Split a goon, Jesus. But I'm just looking at up. Now, it says Christoph Vodka. You can still get one letter of it for $18. which you're like that's insane but it's only wine level alcohol

13.9% but it didn't used to be a it didn't used to be it used to be do you remember when we were telling the producer girlies we were like oh my god these legendary bottles of you know madjacks and Christoph and we saw the alcohol percentage it's like 11 yeah I just said 13th wine

so they put it down yeah a few years ago I've just googled so it was like it was your standard 40 40 yeah Back in the day. Okay, that's, okay. Tell that to the bus driver, you know, whose bus I spewed on.

That there wasn't that much alcohol in it. I promise you, there was. Well, this is ongoing whether or not they're going to be actually fined, because one of the bottles of wine that they were selling for $4.40 has a normal retail price of $50. Where was I? Do you know what? I'm not personally going to get in trouble. Was it a delightful pen of way?

Darling, it was a North Canterbury Chardonnay. Oh, darling, lovely. I'm not that fuss. to have missed that. You know, I will do so on me at a stretch, but I'll confirm my opinion well. I'll do it if I must.

But for $4.40, I don't know. Play. ZD.M. Fletch, Vaughn and Haley. From the unmoderated comment section, this is the top six. Well, Magic Radio has offered the Duchess of Sussex

a jockey job after she revealed she was missing, listening to back. Magic Radio in the UK after they moved back to California, June 2020. So they said, I tell her what we've been in touch. So they've offered her a job as a bit of a publicity stunt, but she's not actually going to do it. Yeah. She's been offered.

It's not revealed how much. It was like a serious offer. There was like money on the table. Right. Yeah. So she's been offered a job. So she's in radio. She's going to need some features to fall back on.

Yes, of course. Easy features. Tell you what, some jingles? Yeah, some jingles. Yeah, you're fletch, falling in Haley, silly little pot. Do you know what I mean? Like, people love it. That's fish in a barrel, that feature.

Isn't it one silly little question? Yeah. Yeah. And we get a good five, ten minutes out of that. Yeah, totally. Top six every day. Yeah. We're filling spaces.

We're almost going home. Oh, 800 dials at em. Tell us who you saw out in the public. Yeah. Something like that. Yeah. When did you trip over and fall? Yeah.

And it was embarrassing. Were you embarrassed? Okay, we're letting go all our secret. You don't let the secrets out. Other shows will now know how we do it. Yeah. Don't tell them how we make the special sauce. Minimal effort.

So I've got today's top six is the top six top six top six as Megan Markle will do on the radio. Right. Number six on the list of the top six top six top six, top six as Megan Markle will do on the radio is the top six vegetables to use in a rainbow platter to get a good spread of colors. Oh, gosh, she's intolerable. She's a top. I know. Here's a little hint for you to add purple, add cabbage. Who wants cabbage?

On a platter. You know, this is another idea I've got for the radio. This is another idea where I've got for audio. It's called Hot Takes. Yeah, I know you like cabbage. And I like cabbage better than I like lettuce. But not on a platter. Cabbage is sourcrow.

Absolutely. Just cabbage on a whole is great. It lasts so much. Write this down for later. But if it was on a platter of once. I'll argue with it. And I'll argue with people. I'll debate with people.

No, if it's on a platter though, what are you doing with that? No, it weren't really well for Charlie Kirk. He'd go and he'd sit down with people and debate them on. With the liberals, yeah. With these libtards. And it worked so well with him. He was very, very popular. He said horrendously racist things.

And then when he was died, everybody acted like he was some sort of angel. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That could work for me. Right. Someone might shoot me because I have got the controversial of opinion that cabbage is better than lettuce. Okay.

I mean, I can agree with you, but on a platter, she's putting cabbage on their fit to add color. Unless it was. Because it was a sour crowd. I was going to say she's also not got a big bowl of sticky Japanese mayo to dip that No. Purple grapes, I'll accept. Also, how much of Japanese cuisine is smothered and mayonnaise? It's mayo dependent. If the mayo wasn't there.

All of Japanese cuisine is mayonnaise. What are you talking about? The everything's got mayonnaise. You've been like, oh, it's the salmon. It's the mayonnaise. If the mayonnaise wasn't there, would it be as nice? Have you tried Japanese cabbage? I've tried the mayonnaise. If the terriaki sauce wasn't smothering this dish, would it be that nice? The Japanese, they know their sauce. Yeah, they do. And the sauce is mayonnaise.

It's all mayonnaise. Cheapy? Oh my God, so good. Oh, yum. I haven't bought that in a while, actually, today. I'm going to get some. Because it's sugary. That's why it's yum. Number five on the list of the top six. Top Six as Megan Markle would do on the radio is the top six things to put in different bags and pass off as your own creations.

She did this apparently on one of your episodes. I haven't watched this show with love, Megan. I mean, you did, didn't you? I watched as much as I could until I had to be sick. It was intolerable. You might not have got through to this. I think it was in the second episode. She takes a bunch.

of peanut butter covered pretzels and pours them into a different bag and it's like this is for my guest and someone's like you just literally used twice as much bag as you need Here's a cute little trick for you Yeah, take something and pour it in another bag

And pass it off as your own Intolerable Number four on the list of the top six Top Six as Megan Marker could do on the radio is the top six bee puns Because when she goes out to her beehive Because of course she's got a beehive Of course she does

She says look at these little guys working hard for the honey And everyone Apparently the even the cameraman was like You could hear the cameraman audibly gone I'm audibly groaning now Number three on the list of the top six Top Six as Megan Markle could do on the radio

Is the top six other things Her kids definitely didn't say But she said they said Because apparently Lilibet has a song About cleaning up her mess as she goes And then she sings the song His kids do that don't they Yeah

Yeah She produces a makeshift bin to put any rubbish in and says, oh, my daughter is such a clean freak. She's made up a song called Clean As You Go! And then she sings it. So those parents are like, oh my God, my daughter said the most profound thing. She said, isn't it amazing how the sun heals all of life and how life is held within the soul?

You're like, no, they didn't. They were probably asking for a biscuit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They shit their pants. They shit themselves. They go to poopie in their pants. Number two on the list of the top six, top six as Megan Markle could do on the radio, the top six things that are in a kid's party bag that shouldn't be.

In one episode, she revealed her bizarre party bags for children, which include gardening tools, peas, seeds, and a manuka honey stick for something sweet. Yeah. Yeah. Good, good, good. They want a poor patrol. They want some cheap plastic shit.

They want something that makes noise, like a whistle or a bang, chuck a balloon in there, and then just some cheap lollies. Yeah. Number one on the list of the Top Six, Top Six is Megan Markle could do on the radio. The Top Six other things people called her that they didn't, that I totally, that she totally didn't ask her to call them. What? What happened there?

The top six other things people have asked, have called her without her totally asked. Go fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh, okay. Go again, go again. The top one on the list of the top six, top six as Megan Markle could do on the radio, is the top six other things people called her that she totally didn't set up for them to call her. Thank you. Okay, God, like when her pal, Kelly Zaffin said during her time on the TV set of suits, Megan was the head of morale

and Megan said I just like to plan fun for everyone Okay See I was always on her side Yeah I was always on her side The Royals treated her badly Oh I totally agree And it was just

And it was 100% full-blown racism But she is also insufferable But she has become insufferable She has Two things can be true Yes I liked it best when her and Mike Ross were raw dogging on that episode of suits

In the final room Wow okay please They did! family now. We don't speak like that. That is the future queen of the world. And you just called her a raw daughter. They did. That's today's top six. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Haley.

Play ZM's Fletchborn and Haley. Well, a Japanese restaurant owner has gone viral because he has put in some rules at his sushi shop. Now, a couple of these I absolutely agree with. He's, I mean, I don't know if he's a people person.

Like, you know, he doesn't want to serve rude people and intoxicated people and that's fair enough you shouldn't be rude and intoxicated when you're at a restaurant but people are this is why I could never work in a people you know in a hospitality job because if someone was rude to me

I'd probably say something quite rude back to them and then I'd lose my job yeah I'd be yeah take you can go get some sushi somewhere else but the other rule that he has at his sushi restaurant which has gone viral no extra soy sauce Yeah, you hate this, eh?

I, because we get sushi quite often after the show and it'll be in the tray and I will just grab from one of the tables in the restaurant one of those, you know, soy Yeah, it's a famous The little red

The soy dispensable Yeah, what is that brand? It's famous I don't know It's just the soy sauce. I think they sell those at the supermarket I've got it, that's the one I have a home Kikoman?

Yeah, Kikoman. Yeah, that's it. Do they own a A factory, probably. Do they own the patentant Oh, I don't know. It's a special. That's the one I have at home. I've always wanted one at home.

And you have like the spell that you put and then you go your finger over the little one, you tip it and you go, oh, babes. What? Babes. Are you not know? I know the finger thing? You're controlling the float. So there's two holes on either side.

You put the big one you tip towards your sushi. The other one you put your finger on, we tip it. If you put your finger over the hole, it doesn't go. Bap-bub-bub. I don't know. Let's get a little bit of sushi after the show. I'll show you. Okay.

Change your life. Well, so this is what I do. I douse my sushi and then I'll take it up to the counter and I'll pay for it. But he is saying, no, no, no, no. It's like salting your meal at a fine restaurant. It is. It's sourcing before tasting. It's like putting tomato, too much tomato sauce on something.

Chefs just hate it. Yeah, I get it. It's like, if you go to like, you know like Gero dreams of sushi. When I remember watching that and they were like, we use soy sauce so wrong because we douse the rice in it and the fish in it

it's supposed to just be like this tiny little bit well he's saying that we serve it that way it's only meant to have like a tiny amount and he said why don't you just drink

half a cup of seawater instead oh okay that hurts because it's salty but then people on the like the local Facebook page this is in Canada

are like joking about smuggling their own condiments like their own little soy fish yeah yeah That about a ban in Australia. Oh, they're here. The soy sauce fish gone in Australia, and I completely agree, it's unnecessary plastic.

Oh, I don't like the, when you get a suit. But what about when you get a sushi packet? I don't like those. Yeah, because they're a bit messy. Oh, they're so messy. Doubted it. Or they're just less hard-wearing plastic. I really want one of those soy sauce fish lamps.

I know I've seen those. They look real cool. They look so fun. Have you seen that? Surely they're on Timo. Surely they're on Timo. We just get a couple. I want a good one.

Soy sauce fish lamp. I've got more on soy. Hang on, look at that, though. Oh, see, that's cool. It lights up. It's like a giant soy fish. A giant soy sauce fish. That's a very cute.

eBay. That look good to my house. Wait, those aren't that expensive. No, I know I'm going to get one. Teamu. I feel like you're rolling the dice on whether you're going to burn down your house with a lamp from Timu though, you know? Yeah. Oh, I've got a couple of lamps from Timu.

They suck. They let out, there's much light. That's how much light. If light was a sound, this is how much. Some people like a low light though. No, no, no. like you're like, you're like, you're going to still use your phone torch. Oh yeah, got you. Yeah, right.

But where do you put a sushi fish lamp though? Do you put it at bedside table? You've already got a lamp there. It's a blowy bubble. The bluey bubble. Gosh, she has a novelty lamb. I feel like it's a dining room kitchen thing because it's food. Yeah, they're very cool. How much? This one is a not from Timo. I've got a price of 350 on that.

Oh, that's expensive. That's expensive. Go for a team. Yeah. Yeah. I'm on the Tamari buzz. Because I was cooking something when your friend from Australia was over her celiac. And so I did not know that soy's main ingredient is wheat. Yeah, it sucks. So I've gone to Tamari, pretty bloody good. Yeah, it's nice. Pretty bloody good alternative. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Real umami. Um, um, sorry. Play. Z-M's, Fletch, Vaughan and Haley.

Fletch Fawn and Haley, silly little poe. It is so silly, silly, silly, silly, Silly little poll Silly little pole Silly little pole Silly little pole Silly little pole Silly little pole Silly little poll is

How do you use public toilets? I went into one the other day I think I was driving somewhere And I went into a public toilet In a gas station And I went in And it was just Scattered with urine

Oh there was piss everywhere The men's urinals yesterday were disgusting wheezel over the floor. People just honestly. Just sprats everywhere. You wouldn't do that at your, in your own bathroom. You wouldn't download a handbag. You know what?

You wouldn't steal a car. You wouldn't download a piss of urinal. Pirating is stealing. Yeah, don't spritz a urinal. Don't spritz it. And so I, but I was busting. Guys are the worst when they go in to use a cubicle for number ones and they just stand up. And because it's a public toilet, they don't want to touch the seed.

So they just go and it goes all over the seat. Yeah, yeah. It's like, at least pick the seat up. Yeah, yeah. Kick the seat up with your foot. Yeah, kick it up or get some toilet tissue and pick it up with that. I know. You don't want to touch it.

So for me, because I don't put it up, I was like, the choices to either get a wad of toilet paper and clean it or high hover. And I just high hovered. I was just like, I'm not touching anyone. I just want to get out of here. So I high hovered, and thus I was probably adding to the spritz. But like good workout for a squat. Really?

And like a squat hold. Squat hover. Yeah. Yeah. squat and hold. This one of my quads pop. Well, hover was one of the options. Yeah.

Okay. 32% of people said hover. We hover. Sit directly on the bowl? 48%. They just sit straight on it. I're raw dogging. Far out.

Wait, it's got a toilet seat, though, like, because you know something... The silver balls. Like, what are we in prison? Is this a prison cell toilet? Pretty much. What am I, some kind of criminal? Create some form of barrier before sitting 21%.

Yeah. Frim, it's great. I'll always use a toilet paper barrier. Sarah said, because I don't want to mix my bum jims with the next guy's bum germs. Technically, you're mixing your bum germs with the person before you's bum germs, the person after you is getting both your bum germs

and their bum germs. Yeah. And anyone post the cleaning date and time. Sort of like a human centipede. You know what I mean? We're all connected somehow by the bum. I don't think you've seen that movie. I've never seen that movie.

Please never reference the human centiped again. Yeah. I mean, I've never seen it. Most people haven't seen it, but they're all weird. I haven't seen it. I'm not ever watching that movie. How that movie got made? Beyond me.

Like three of them got made. Yeah. Not appropriate. Laura said, Oh, not appropriate. Laura said, I raw dog it,

but usually after a wipe down, I haven't caught anything. Yeah. Always give it a wipe down. Our gym has a little toilet seat spray. Is that? Yeah. Automatically.

I'm sorry. The women's doesn't. The women's doesn't have toilet seat spray. What kind of spray is? A spritzing. This is the most. most sexist gym ever. Maybe it's the Brittamot one does. Oh yeah that one's for that.

That one does. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I'm pretty sure the city one does. You got like spa pools and this and that and the women get nothing. No, they shut down the spa pool. Yeah, but so long up to us. You got so much other stuff and equality in that. Like what? Why'd they shut down the sparkle? List it. I don't know. No, I want them to list all the other things that we get as a privilege. Wait, the voting and stuff. You are so

lucky to be able to vote. Oh my God. Like that's pretty cool right You're allowed to work Yeah For less money you're allowed to vote I'm so close to kicking you both I've heard

I'm gonna kick you both I have heard Got a rugby team now Got a rugby team Got a rugby team Got a rugby team now You guys always want to a rugby team How much do we get paid?

How much the female get paid Compared to that? Not as much as the Canadian team that beat you Yeah Oh no actually The Canadian team made less The Canadian team still I technically I think an image

Anyway we're not here No like you've got toilet You guys have got so much stuff. Just pay attention next time. We don't. I'm going to show you. I'll show you today when I go to the gym. I'm getting ripped.

Gabby said depends. Depends how man-care it looks. Sometimes give it a wipe with some looper. Sometimes just effort and sit straight down on it. Only hover if it's really mingin and I'm desperate. Okay. Hinurro says, ask the seat. That's all they say.

Asked a seat. Sit down. Lee, voted for bum on seat. I mean, it's your bum. Who cares? You, because it's your bum? Yeah. Roxanne, I used to hover.

and now I just don't really care. Probably going to get some germs from touching the handle when exiting than the actual toilet seat. Yeah, that's true, because people don't wash their hands before they touch that handle. That's gross. That's why you always wash your hands after. Usually sit on the bowl unless it's one of those robot automatic doors,

automatic door toilets because they're always feral. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a real public, public toilets. Do you think they started out with toilet seats and they got ripped off? And, like, people smoke them for meth or something? I don't know. Like, why do they take them off? Smoke them for meth.

Smoke the toilet. seats for meth. Look, I don't know how to know what they were. We've established it as a show we don't know how mess works. You're heading up under the seat? I don't know how human centipede happens and I don't know how meth happens. Or why, anyone would want the toilet seat? Yeah, where the toilet seats are gone.

More germs on a public door handle, armrest escalator. Just sit down on the bowl and build your immunity. Yeah. It says taras. Immunity. I've got to have that barrier, nothing worse than the old fella touching porcelain. I've got to agree. I've got to agree.

When you sit on a public toilet and the end of your penis touch, is the inside of the world. When you were blessed with a massive wang like me. Yeah, yeah, my lad's got massive wands. Yeah, we've got a couple of massive wangs. You've always got to watch what the end of it's touch it. Oh man, you just lose sight of that thing. Yeah.

Yeah. Ashley actually said I've had the displeasure of using the NZM women's lose on the reg. Now that's where we were. Dude, the hobbit. My hover game is elite. Yeah. I'd say the women in this building are drinking too much coffee. That's all I'm going to say.

It rips right through you, doesn't it? Splatter, ahoy. Well, we asked for Celina. little pole, how do you use a public toilet? And the largest result, 48% ass on bowl. Play ZDM's flesh one and Haley. Arrogato for that. Thank you so much.

Sorry, God, I've been to Japan once. I'm still just shaking off, speaking the language every day. Still haven't been. Everyone has, like, the hottest destination in the world right now, Japan. I know. I know. My brother's about to go. My brother just, we've arrived at mum and dad soon

in Italy and then coming home by Japan. The reason I'm talking about Japan is there is a city called Toyowake. It's in the Aichi Prefecture in Japan. I like how they call there, like we say regions or... Prefectures. And they call them prefectures. It's kind of cool. That's cool. Which prefecture are you in? Well, I'm in the Aichi Prefecture. I'm in the Manawatu Prefecture. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm in the Rodney Prefecture. I'm Horatinawa Bush Prefecture. Yeah, nice. Waitakari Prefecture. Are we just going to keep going until we run out of... Island Bay Prefecture.

Okay, Stuart Island Prefecture. Well, no, that's a suburb. No, that's a suburb. The game's over because you lost. You have to drink. Drink. That's actually, and you, oh no, we're obviously drinking responsibly. Yeah, we're talking water. I actually might just have a drink. Great, okay.

Anyway, this city in the Aichi Prefecture has introduced, this is the bit that confused me, a non-binding guideline to limit daily screen time to two hours, which means they're not going to going to. enforce it, but they heavily recommend two hours. A bit like how they say smoking's bad, you shouldn't, but you can still

buy siggies. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Kind of like that? Smoke outside, do whatever you want, but limit it. So the guideline takes effect on October 1st, but it's just a guideline, so I'm like, what happens on October 1st, who knows? It applies to smartphones, gaming consoles

and other digital devices outside of work and school. So laptops, TVs even, anything that's a I kind of would like to see like on a big scale some kind of experiment where a whole city or a whole country

is screen free or like screen limited like just maybe maps. It all shuts off. And just to see what happens because like we all know it's bad. We all do it. We know it's not good for us. I have been actively trying and I find

it stressful to be away from my phone and it's very confronting. Yeah. Like it is how anxious I get when I know that I can't be on my phone. And last night I was even like to peel off it to commit to my bedtime. So they're saying that primary school children are advised to avoid smartphones after 9pm

which feels insane, but also it's a city that run, you know, it's a country that runs a bit later than we do. Yeah. High school students and adults encourage to switch off devices by 10pm. They're saying it's voluntary and not meant to restrict residents rights. So if they catch you on the phone

and then they see you three hours later, you're still on your phone, they're not going to punish you. But they are urging, particularly parents, to enforce this guideline of two hours a day. Do you know what they should do? You know how there are those health insurance companies that if you swipe into your gym, you get like discounts and stuff? They should do something with screen time linked to. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So there's incentives for people? Upload your screen time and get 20% off at Macas. Yeah, yeah. Oh, no, but then they're just creating another problem. I was like, okay, hang on, hang on. You get 20% off at this shot at this store. But do you know, like... Labubu!

Labubo, get a loboos. Leboobobo's. But then how would you know about Lububu's if you went on your screen? In your two hours, and you allocated two hours? I'm just doing two hours and straight Labibu every day. That's all I do. Two hours is still a lot, though, eh?

It's not. It's not according to my weekly report. Dude, it's just simply not. Compared to what we are racking up now. Yeah. Do you know what they, so they proposed this two, the residence of Toyo Ake and 80% of them opposed the guideline.

They're like, get screwed. Yeah, yeah, don't tell us what to do. They were on their phones being like, huh? Sorry, what was that? No, thank you. And they're all completely shocked because they've had no sleep. They've rewired their brains and they've got no attention span. But don't tell me what to do. Don't tell me how to be better.

Play ZM's Fletchbourne and Haley. Play ZM's Fletchbourne and Haley. Now, research, and this comes out of the UK are 40% of Gen Z in the UK are living at home with their parents or with housemates so all their flatting which would be like here pretty more I'm not laughing at that I'm laughing it's very connected to what we were just talking about yeah carry on so and as a result of this it is affecting their sex lives and a lot of Gen Zs according to this research have taken to getting creative about where they have adult fun

times and some have resorted to rather public locations including and mostly the car oh gosh I've only ever a couple of times and it's not as fun as you think you know what I mean? No

I'm perhaps too long for a car shag You're too... Stop talking about your giant shit! I know, no I'm like long I'm like no the leg the leg and the height 6 is too tall for that What, put the back seat there?

No, what do they call them when that's a long? A station wagon? Yeah, yeah, that's perfect. Yeah, yeah. It's better as I haven't tried. I got the Ranger. Technically on the deck on the back, does that count? See, people take their Rangers camping, don't they, in summer and sleep on the tray?

It would be gorgeous through. Oh, that would be lovely. It would be gorgeous through. At least it's a dewy morning. Oh, there's going to be due. Yeah. There will be due, darling. You're going to wake up a little bit dewy.

Maybe it'll light shat. A light comforter. A light dovet. It's like you're very limited in your positions, you know? Yeah, I mean, it's at a stretch, hey. And I'm long torso, so if I were, you know, like the heat, it's just, it's not. But where else? You're now a Maz Baceter, so I don't know.

Well, I will say the Mazda CX60 is their largest car available. Well, actually, I'm a Ford Ambassador, so I will say the Ford Ranger is a fantastic vehicle to make love in the back on. You can see flip the seats down and absolutely have that. Which, I was going to say. Oh, God. We get them on the ham. handlebars like the old days, except turned around the other way. No, that's extremely dangerous.

Has anyone ever had sex on a moving site bicycle? Textor 966-9-6-9-6. Have you made love on a bicycle? Do you know people do it now driving with Tesla's and stuff? Yeah, I know. It's insane. I've seen that documentary too. I've watched that doco and I just couldn't believe the docker.

Yeah, it's wild. Anyway, this is a thing and yeah, apparently it's a huge problem. Well, I'm about to have a period of living with my parents, which... Yeah, because they're moving, you're moving home. Haley's moving home. That's what I'm calling it, even though your parents are moving in with you. Yeah, my parents are moving with me.

Yeah, and I've, the thought it hath crossed mine, mine. This is why Gen Z are turning to the car. Because we, because you've got all these, you're living with people. Or you're living with your parents, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So... It's going to be like being a teenager again. You know what I'm just trying to figure it all out, organise it all.

Yeah. Fun. Except in a few weeks you go into your mid-30s. Thank you. Late? Shut it. Shut it. What is late?

What is late? Can you AI? Because AI is the knowing being, the all-knowing being. What is late 30s? What's considered late? What is considered like, yeah. Technically enter your late 30s. Do you know what I say?

about the other day? It's nuts that I was 18, three weeks ago. And now I'm 43 and everything's changed. What does AI say? This roller coaster is off the tracks. Early 30's 30 to 33, mid 30s 30s 30 to 36, late 30s, 37 to 39. One more year. One more year in my mids. So technically you're into your late 30s at age 37, stay there until you're 40. Okay. Want me to explain where some people argue the cutoffs can shift a bit? Yes. No. I'm just really, I'm just going to craft my research to find a way of telling Hayley that she's already in her late 30s. Yeah, just any...

People stretch early up to 34, 35 and late doesn't start till 38, 39. This is because people hang on to the early mid labels because it doesn't have the word late. So let's go to 38. We'll call it 38. I've got three more years. Whatever work.

Play ZM's, Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. I'm in the market. I'm in the market for a purchase. Oh, yeah? Yeah. Do you know what, actually, I need to sharpen my knives. Oh, yeah. No, I like my kitchen knives to be blunt.

Because when I first collected all of the New World Smegs, I lost a couple of layers of skin. Yeah, I lost a little tip. Lethal. They were like so, and then over time they've become just perfect. Oh, every now and again, nick a hand and it doesn't cut. Yeah, all my knives are blunt A-F. Actually, you tried my cleaver the other day, Vaughn. Did you discover its bluntness?

Yeah, it was a blunt. It was a blunt cleave. But I like that because just a bit of extra pressure. No, no, no, no, no, no. There's simply nothing like a sharp knife. Right. Simply nothing like a sharp knife. I've been cutting a lot of onions.

So you're contemplating a purchase to help with this problem and you're thinking maybe this could be a regular feature. Because I, the online reviews are a bit like, yeah, these are great. But then that's on the website for the place that I'm buying it from. They're not going to put up bad reviews. Yeah. And also who buys something and then reviews it? No one.

losers. I want to know if those knife-shuteming things that I am advertised constantly, the rolling ones, I get this as well. Are really good. So they come to the magnetic, a block with a 20-degree angle on one end and a 15-degree angle on the other, and you stick your knife to it, and it holds the knife to the magnetic block. Then you put your hand on the magnetic block, and then there's a roly thing that looks like a salt shaker with round ends, which have grinding pads on them.

And you roll it up and down the knife, and it's holding it at the right hand. Yeah, sorry. And it's... That was a weird... Oh, it just feels satisfying. It feels very satisfying. I guess it's the same premise as a steel. You know, the thing that you granted always used to pull out and be like,

because I've always wanted... Because chefs use that. One of those things, you just run the knife down. I have one of those. They weren't... The wet blocks? They weren't that great. A wet stone is art.

Like, if you're going to go out and use the wet stone, you've got to hold it at the right angle. Yeah, it's a whole art. I've got a cheap briskos, you know, like, blades like this and you kind of like an X and you shove it in the middle and you drag it through. It butchers your knives. It kind of grabs onto it a

bit much. It's like a rough ceramic stone. This is like diamond pads and I think if you've got like chunks missing in the knife you start with a grittier one and it's like sanding. You just work your way down to it. Goodness me. You're going to lose a finger if you're not careful. So you want people to text in and say

is it worth buying this? Is it worth buying it? Right. Okay. Some messages in. Okay. Well, here we go. We've got the ball rolling already. I love this. I would like somebody 1-1-3 says, my dad is a chef by passion, has this and swears by it, idiot proof apparently. Oh, that's you. That's you. That's good.

Now, there's also expensive ones and cheap ones. Obviously, I know you pay for what you get, but I want to know if the cheap ones will just suffice for a man such as myself. Vaughn's not doing expensive. He's in a personal recession. Okay, someone said, so they're for it. Somebody said, they work. Yep. Somebody has said, they're legit. Go for it.

I bought one for hubby for Father's Day. He used it the other with outstanding results. See, and this is good because then Vaughn buys one and we use it. Yeah, no, I'm bringing my knives. He takes our knives home. Knife sharpening party! People will tell me about knife shopping.

I told you about it. That's not a thing. That's not a thing. No, they aren't. They're a bit. You hire the knife sharpener and he comes to your house and you sharpenes all the knives and you come around and have a couple of drinks.

Yeah. Katie, you bought one of these for your husband. Yeah, I got totally sucked in by the advertising that came through Instagram. Yeah. And, yeah, gave one to my hubby for Father's Day. He sharpened the knives the other day. They're amazing.

Totally recommend it. Okay, yeah. What brand did he get? True Edge. Okay, that's the one that, that's the one. We don't see that word on this radio network. We don't actually. We'll prefer true to death.

Just true. True. Beep. Yeah, sorry. Sorry, Katie. That's okay. Are you guys all right? That's trigger warning.

You have to say trigger warning. You have to say trigger warning. I'm about to say that he would. We've got. Well, it was 11 years ago. Yeah, well, PPS Day doesn't have a phone. If a news by date, you know what I mean? It's still relevant.

It's still relevant. Yes, exactly. We just, we joke. We laugh. We chuckle. Okay. This is good. I feel, I've looked at this one, and I feel they're just drop shipping from China.

Oh, really? That's what they're doing. Of course they are. So why don't I just get it from TEMU? You get it from TEMU. You get it from TEMU. Anything I see that's like branded. I always look for it on Tammu and you can find it.

Yeah, for sure. Okay, Katie, thank you. It's great. And more messages in, people saying these are legit. So 1-13 who said their dad is a chef by passion who swears by it. His was the team who spish. Yeah, someone sent you a link here for a review comparing a real one with a knockoff. Oh, okay.

No, I'm not sure. I'd have to watch the video to find out if it was any different. Right. Because I'm not like a chef. I'll sharpen my knife once, you know, when it gets blood. Yeah. I'm not doing it every day. No.

So I don't need the really expensive one that's going to last forever. Do you know what's going to happen now is you'll get this and your hands will constantly be cached. Oh, yeah. Well, you know, my hands have been a mess this year. I'm constantly. Yeah, remember there was that time that your fingers were just all sliced up. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, no, yeah.

This is why I like my blunt knives. Great big back, though. Someone else is from Timo, it's great. There you go. Okay, perfect. I can try your Timo. This is the nicest text. For a man of Vaughn's caliber, I'm sure he is to purchase one who will master to the craft.

It is practice that makes perfect. Perfect. Yeah, I believe in you too. Oh, wow. As long as we can bring in our knives and you take that you pop off. Bring them back nice and sharp and then we'll all just be here with little cut up fingers as a show. I'm not bringing them all in. You can just come around.

Yeah. I'll bring my... Do it extremely mobile. There's a great segment. I think this could be a regular thing. Do you know, we're considering a purchase? Yes. Toul has also done another thing which could be a good segment called, um, can I go in on a Timo order with you?

Oh, the moment you said Timo was like, I might hop in on that. Can I jump her on there? She doesn't want her credit card being used at TEMU. Why don't you want you? Buying a house. Oh, because of buying a house. No, you've got to use my hack. My hack.

Hello? You use your wise card. I don't have a wise card. And I'm not signing out for something else. I just don't want to use my card, but there's like some really cool bookshows on there. Oh, my goodness. Oh, can I get a furniture from T-Mu?

What are you giving in on T-Mood? I don't know. like fun rubber ducks and stuff. But now we're consuming for the point of consuming and that's, I'm not for that. No, I need them. But surely the bank's not worrying about Timo purchases. No, no, no, no. I just don't

want my credit card details leaked. Like, what if they get hacked or something? Oh my God, calm down. Oh. It'll be fine. It'll be fine. So, this is great. I'm going to read this out because this is a great sentence. Grab the rolling knife sharpener off Timo. It works a treat. But if your knives are as blunt as my old man after a few beers, you'll still need a coarse grinder first.

Right. Okay, so that's the ones I've seen come with a coarse grinding pad. So I might get that one. This is sexy knives chat. This is sexy knives chat. She really turned on by it. Play ZM's Fletchbourne and Haley. So there is a woman in Australia.

Her name's Casey. She has highlighted something that apparently is a real issue for Aussies as spring begins to spring. As spring sprungs. Yep. And the video showed her wearing a helmet, like a bike helmet, in order to hang out her washing. And she was like, watch this, goes to hang out her washing.

And very shortly after she starts, butcher birds start swooping her. Butcher birds? Magpies. I was expecting magpies. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. They look like magpies. You know I love birds. They're my special sort of autism.

Closely related to the Australian magpie, but they're not quite the same. I actually quite a cool looking bird. Very cool, grey, black hair. like white little breasts and yeah lovely lovely they look like a half a kookabur it looks like a cookaburra and a magpie had a romantic weekend away in the blue mountains and made a baby yeah so is her washing line sparkly or something no no no it is a stock standard washing light and she is ducking for a goddamn life and wears this helmet and they are just having it what because they pick her head yeah that they like swoop at her head and she was getting smacked so she

wears a helmet now to put out her washing because these butcher birds I'd get a shotgun they Look at the, okay, can you see Here's the video here So she's stuck, look it up She's looking up, she's like, where are you, you're bastards? She's got her basket down, she's pulling them out She's got her helmet on, she's ready to, oh, there goes one Oh wow, yeah, they're really comforted, okay

I actually got a butcher bird sound Right on the head I love bird sounds, ready? Well, that's lovely, isn't it? I listened to bird sounds for the first time last night to try to get to sleep Yeah, how did that go? I kept waking up thinking it was morning.

It's the alarm. That bird song is my alarm Because it is ceremonial Like at the sound of the morning I've been rotating brown noise green noise Nature sounds rain sounds And I was like Have you tried large whales

Okay Wales tonight Yeah try large whales tonight Anyway apparently this is really a thing For people in certain parts of Australia They're getting attacked I want to know When did an animal attack you? Love this okay

Now maybe it's a funny story Yeah maybe it's actually a grim story because it was like some rabid pit bull. They mauled off your face. Because you know I listened to all those podcasts about people who survived bear attacks. Yes. Oh my God, someone just texted.

And we've got messages coming in already. Oh, 100 dials, EDM, text 96696. When did an animal attack you? Because someone just said, I was once chased by a buffalo. I've never run so fast in my life. A buffalo? What were you doing?

Where were you? Like, were you in the plane somewhere? The Great American plane? Yeah, I don't know. Why was it? Where were you, why were in a buffalo's vicinity? Do we have any buffalo? We've got the bison and the buffalo the same thing.

I don't know. There's a bison and a buffalo. I know what a buffalo bill is. No, your ex-boyfriend. You know, a bubblobo bill. A bubbleau bill. Yum. Yum.

Yeah. Cheapest. Okay. Apparently this is a huge problem in Australia is these like birds are attacking people when spring springs. When they're doing their washout. So that, um... The woman that uploaded the video wears a bike helmet.

She wears a bike helmet to do a washing. You would, though. Now, Georgia, you're an ex zookeeper. So, wow, you must have some great stories. Jesus. Yes, yeah. So I worked at a zoo in New Zealand only for a year, and there was like a few good stories there.

But honestly, the one that gets me the most is... A tiger, tiger, tiger. A tiger, was it a tiger? No, there was no tiger that attacked me. But I worked in the herbivore round. So basically, like, I looked after a lot of the, like, Australian animals and stuff like that. and on my rotation

occasionally I'd have to look after this goat called Lottie and she just did not like me at all Oh my gosh Yeah there was one particular time I was in the Habitat with my fellow colleague And she sort of had to save me

Because it was a rainy day And you can imagine there was like mud around So I was in my boots and stuff And had my traction on But this goat like I saw her like coming at me She like spun around and she ran straight at me and I sort of, like, raced myself ready for impact,

and I held onto her horns, and she sort of flung her head, and I went flying. I had lost traction at this point. Holy! Oh, was it? So, like, of all the zoo animals, the goat was the one that got me. Yeah. Was it during our zoo hours, like, with the public watching?

I don't remember, actually. It probably was, but I don't think that there was, like, a, I don't think there was a crowd around. I suppose not many people come to see the goats, person. I think she was too busy trying not to get bloody horned by this goat. Amazing Georgia. Thank you. Michaela, we winded an animal attack.

I would have been about five or six years old. Yeah. And my neighbour had two cells and a boar at the time. And the boar got out. So my dad thought it would be a great idea to bring him into our yard until my neighbour got home. Yep. and it chased me so long that I ended up climbing up the tree house

the leash that we had tied around its neck wrapped around my ankle and broke my sandals Oh my god A boar! Those things can attack Those things are huge Still had his knackers then

You're calling him a boar He still had balls So he would have been territorial and a bit A bit horny Horny. Horny. Horny territorial. Michaela, thank you.

Some messages. Someone said, I got attacked by a wild rat. I was stuck up a tree and the cat was trying to get it. So I tried to save the cat. End up having a tetanus shot because the rat bit me. My childhood friend was attacked by a poikko. He fully scratched up his whole chest. He still has scars to show for her.

I hate those things. They're the worst, man. They're on my lawn all the time eating my fallen fruit. Oh, really? Yeah, oh my God, like five of them. Yeah, come over. a slug gun, I'm sort of, from your deck. A couple drinks in the spa with the slug gun. Boom, fun

times. Yeah. I don't want to cut. Can I come? You can come. You can come. You can come. It'll make a day out of it. I'm going to get a full camo net and make a little nest so that they can't see me. Oh, what do they call those things? Like, I don't know, a sniper nest. Wee, were you? Those suits. Gilly, a gilly suit. Yes. Let's get one of those. Hunting and fishing will have them, eh? Yeah. There's a big fat hunting and fishing out our way now too. Oh, yeah. They were like a little hideaway bit now. they're a big fix.

Okay, I'll get one of those, I'll take care of them. For a gilly suit. So many people being attacked by animals. I bought a sausage roll, and as I went to eat it, the seagull swept down and stole it. And then I was like, man, and then another time I was having a barn me, which also got stolen in my hands by another seagull. That's from George. It's all those delicious carbs you're eating. People are getting swooped in Australia.

I loved this messes so much. I was chased by an emu when I was eight. It was horrifying. My parents were in fits of laughter trying to take a photo of me, but I was running to. fast. I feel like that would be me as a parent. Just laughing more than helping. Someone was attacked by the monkeys at the temple

in Thailand after I accidentally stood on one of their tails. Oh yeah. You had that coming then. Got to keep distance. You had that coming. Thailand, Bali. Stay away from the monkeys. I legit have been chased by a rabbit. Our neighbours would let their rabbit run free and the friggin' thing had constantly come to my house and eat my plants

every time I'd see it. I'd chuck it back over the fence. One day I chased the crap out of it but then it turned on me. and ran at me and it was flicking urine between its legs. It was trying to piss on me. I was trying to piss on you.

Yeah. You know how you were talking about the person who's had two different meals stolen from her hands by seagulls? Someone messaged saying they were in Fittiungu for the holidays sitting on the beach having fish and chips

a seagull swept down and took a chip from my mouth. That's why I like to eat my fish and chips on the beach under a mesh net. Also, are you eating like this? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're going, wha-haop-o-o-ha-w.

Shut your mouth while you eat you won't have the seagull problem. Pet City, UK, 1993. I love that. You've got your place. You get your country. You got your time. I was chased and then bitten by a scorpion.

Oh. I was handling it when I shouldn't have been, and it chased my hand when I put it back in the tank and went, it stung me. Doesn't that just sum up the 90s and how loose it was? Yeah, sticking your hand in the scorpion tank. I flicked it, but because it was stuck in my hand, it got flicked out and it scuttled under a shelf.

They had to evacuate the store. or a night to go to hospital for a scorpion sting. I was in Kruger National Park in South Africa. Oh, you've been. That's lovely. And even as a local, I still appreciate it when I go. The Big Five. The Big Five will never grow old. What are the Big Five?

Lime. Lime. Barthlo. Buffalo. Of course. Zebra. Elephant. Giraff. And...

No, I think Giraff's not on the Big Five. It's on mine. Oh, of course. Yeah. Because I just think they're lovely. Of course. But I was chased by a mummy warthog while on my way to the toilet

Oh my god, a mummy warthole. How about this bloody Hakuna Matata and stop chasing me, mummy warthog? Holy shit, when I was little, my old brother and my older brother and sister would dress me in red and then pop me in the paddock down the road with a bull. That's not funny. It is funny.

On the bright side, they put me close to the fence so I had a fighting chance. That's just not funny. That is brilliant. That's so funny. I got charged at by a wetter while sitting on the toilet. You didn't. You didn't.

Charged it. Panicked, jumped up, screamed, ran straight into the toilet door, knocked myself out. We don't kill them, though. We don't kill Weta. They're beautiful. The Wheatah. I really like them. Beautiful.

Feeding my grandparents' Cooney Coonies is a pig and they go feral for scraps in a bread bag. One chased me and I didn't drop the bag. It chomped me on the bun. Chomped you? Yeah. We have so many messages. People, you've got to be careful with these animals. I was chased and attacked by 15 chickens.

No you don't run The problem is you start running And they start chasing Because you've got the food My parents found it hilarious Didn't help me I was six That's so good

I was chased by a pack of dogs in India I didn't have the rabies vaccine It was absolutely terrified No one helped the poor white people screaming Help me help me help me I mean you picture it yourself Yeah You sat there in New Delhi

Yeah Some white prick Who probably only came to see The Taj Mahal It's gonna shit talk it anyway Yeah, yeah, totally. It's good dirty. It's not as nice as it is in that

Princess Diana photo that I've seen. There's lots of people. And then all of a sudden, you know, they're asking you whereabouts they can get food, but, you know, like clean food. And then all of a sudden they get chased by a dog, you're probably going to sit back and be like, yeah, well.

You know what, have that. You came here, mate. Play ZM's Fletch Born and Haley. Play ZM's Fletch Born and Haley. Now, listen, you know this Fletch firsthand. I have a leaky drink bottle. You have an impression. Practical for the gym drink bottle.

It doesn't fit in the bikes. It's a cup. Huge cup with a straw. Yeah, you've a big cup. I've got a big cup for work. One liter. It's like a... But at the gym, I got a sippy box.

Yeah, so it's like a knockoff. A sippy box. Maybe don't say you've got a sippy box. I got a sippy box. Clip that up. A sippy bottle. You've got a sippy bottle. I got a sippy bottle.

And I got to do a soup box. It's a Tommy Tippy. You've got a... Do you even want to have sex again? I got a double-handed Tommy Tibby. I know it's huge. It's an imitation. No, no, it's real.

It's a Stanley. Yeah, yeah. No, it's not a Stanley. It's a... Kedrona gave it to you, right? They did. And I'm not coming for Kodroni. You know I love them.

Yeah, but this is a bottle that you have in your car or at your workplace. Yes. It's a great hydration vehicle. Haley would try to put this one litem bottle on a gym bike.

Yeah, and it would fall to the ground. She's a daft bitch, isn't she? And then I'm up tall because I'm long so then I can't reach on the ground to try to get it midspin. And it would fall over... Yeah, we're going to...

Daft, bitch, let's not, hey, I do apologize. I'm being we've said it too many times now. Yeah, please. How am I supposed to explain to my children in the car that Haley's a daft bitch? I don't know. She's a dumb idiot. You've got to be better than this. Let's go with dumb idiots.

We've got a real dumb idiot on our hands. Oh, thank you. Okay, yeah. So, anyway, no, the other problem with this, and this is why I say I'm not coming for Cadrona. Thank you so much. It was a hydro flask. Yes.

It leaked. If it was on its site, it was just, it was good for a desk. Me meant to be upright. It's meant to be upright. It's not... Yeah, but my life ain't upright, bro. Okay. And so I'll be hiffing my bag around.

It's leaked all through my work bag before, all through my laptop, paperwork. It leaked ones in the back of my car and Fletcher's jumper in the boo. Oh my God, that's right. Remember I put my jumper on. I was like, how did this get wet in Haley's drink bottle? Wet sleeve all the way to Sydney. Thanks, bro. Yeah, thanks, bro.

Wet Sydney trip. Anyways, so I knew it leaked. like it's fine and I like it because I know I drink three of those I've had my three leaders and I'm happy

like I can clock it It's not a thing It is a thing It's not Anyway so yesterday I get home And I dump my staff And I go about my day

And my whole day Was about organising Like getting sorted Fixing this Putting stuff away Going through things It was great You went to the gym

To the gym She's tight in the triceps Not a lot to look at The gym yesterday Anyway If you saw me You weren't with looking at You know in days like that, I think, maybe I'm the thing people are looking at.

You're the looker. I definitely wasn't yesterday. The new trainer at the gym looked at my chicken legs recently. Yeah. She went down. You know, I'd imagine it's a sort of look that girls' boobs get. I knew that you were looking at. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Unlike boobs, it wasn't a look that they wanted to look at. Oh, interesting. Yeah. Interesting. Are they still really white? The legs. Yeah. What do you mean?

What do you think? It's been winter, they're worse. They're worse than anything. That video we put up when Herman the German came in. People were just like, what are with your legs? They're so white. Like they're translucent.

Knock, knock, knock. You've seen my ancestry.com. Yeah. There should be no surprise to you that I'm translucent after. Like one of those like fish that leaves deep down on the ocean. Hey, you know. What about this dumb idiot we work with? Yeah, back to me.

Back to me. Back to me. Yeah, yeah. Just lay off the pasty legs. Let's get back to this moron. Bullying me. It's sort of been the theme of the thing. the week.

Anyway, so... In fact, you've got off pretty lightly. Yeah. Haven't you? Brace yourself for next week. Okay. Is it my turn? Is it my turn to be bullied next week?

So anyway, I go about my day as per usual. And then I realised I haven't actually had any water since the gym. And where's my water bottle? I'll go have a little sippity do. Yeah. Get in my third leader. So I go to find my bag where my water bottle has been and it's on, my bag is on its side on top of my bed.

Oh my God. Okay. And I go, okay. How bad is this going to be? I pull it up And it's like I've pissed the bed The water has gone all through my bag She's a dumb idiot

We're got a real dumb idea We're got a real d-a D-D-B We've got a D-B Not Cardi B We've got a dafti B So the water has gone all through my bag I've put that to the side

Yeah Desks So the water's gone all through the bag It's gone all over my moochie blazer Which now has to be dry cleaned It's gone through the duve cover the full duvet, the top sheet, the bottom sheet. I'm not surprised

it's a litre of water. I just filled it up when I left the gym because I like the gym's fresh crisp water. And it just... It is a good water out of that machine. It's beautiful. It's cold. It's cold. It tipped the mattress protector. It was like a full kid urination bed situation. So then I had to get the duvet and put that in the dryer and wait and wait. That took forever to dry. The sheets are in there like, oh, it was a full rigmarole. I'm I would have just left it to be honest

He slept on the other side It'd dry out What, a litre of water Through my bed is No no okay not a leader Yeah I mean that speaks volumes He's like there's a wet spot

I'll sleep on the other side This wet spot is a wet spot Unlike this guy This guy's like wet spot on that I'm not sleeping there Yeah It's a big singleer You got that whole other side

Just roll on over Kick them out and dodge the west side Yeah Excuse me more Oh, anyway. So I'm getting a new water bottle, and I'm going to buy one that's... What are you going for, a Frank Green? You need a Tippy B.

You need a... Tommy Tippy. I just want something that is a gym accessible. I don't want multiple bottles. You want a Frank Green knock off then. But I don't want, like, I've got a, you know... No, I've got one that you squeeze, and then it seals itself shut. Like a cyclist.

I think it's a Nike one, yeah. Oh, la-la. It doesn't mean, that's... Nike didn't invent the squeazy drink bottle. They did. They did. You're bougie. Just get a knot off.

You don't get a Nike. You're a label basher. Do you know what I did see? No, well, says Haley. She's got an alkaline water bottle. One of those are news. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hang on, look at this, though.

Stolen Girlfriends Club, who do jewelry, do a rhinestone, black gothic water bottle. I've never seen anything more Haley in my life. That's no, that's ridiculous. I don't even want to know how expensive it is. Yeah, how much is that? No, that's silly. Get a knock off. Sometimes it's not about the price.

It's about the feeling you have. Drink out of a little. a lububu. Spong a labub. Diff it and sponge it into my mouth at the gym. There is nothing more 2025 and Gen Zee pleasing than drinking from a laboobo. Sponging a libubu.

Texton 966. If you're like my water bottles is the most elite one, Texan, let me know. Okay, because Haley is in the market. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Haley. Well, after nine seasons, a decade, over a decade on screens, it's longer. It's, they might have a nine seasons, but they spread out.

And didn't he kind of face a bit of a cancellation situation on stage? Yes. Well, Catfish, the MTV show is officially cancelled after nine seasons. I mean, it coined the phrase Catfish. The documentary that started it. Yeah, that Nev Shorman was catfished by somebody. And, yeah, the guy, the woman who is doing it, her husband at the end of the movie says about a catfish, they would put it in with other fish when they're fishing, and it would chase them and keep them, like, fresh when they're on their way to market.

Keep them chasing themselves or something. And that was the term catfish. Yeah, the documentary was insane. It wasn't like the TV show at all, was it? No, it was his real-life story. Yeah. Worth watching if you've never seen it. It's an incredible documentary.

MTV, right? 2012 was the first episode. I would have thought it would have been more like your 2010s. Did it kind of, did they slow down in recent seasons? Yeah, definitely, definitely. So 2010 was the documentary Catfish. Right. Yeah.

Crazy. And in 2018, they were replaced by a rotating list of presenters. And isn't, the producer, girls, you were saying that is it, Neve, Neve, who we've interviewed before in the past. He's now in real estate or something? Yeah, he, like, posted TikTok's being like, it's the first cubicle I've ever had in my life. And everyone's like, what? And yeah, he's going into real estate. Is that when they learned that it's been cancelled? Well, I think maybe, I don't know if they were, like, necessarily. cancelled themselves or if he was also

just like I don't want to do this anymore because yeah they've had like a girl called Cammyon there's also a UK version which is like not as like scandalous but sometimes you're like the American one's the original yeah over 300 episodes as well now we wanted to touch on a couple of

the favorite episodes Vaughn my favorite your favorite catfish episode ever this one tell us a little bit about this guy with a Chris well that's actually Chris Brown. How are you so convinced?

I had to check for his voice and when I did I checked when he was speaking in interviews and checked the voice off. My phone sounds the same. Does he ever video chat? Video chat.

He keeps it dark. He keeps it dark. Oh, of course he does because it's not Chris Brown. Yeah. That was the saddest. Yeah. The saddest of people being

absolutely taking advice. aren't a job. There was another one of Chris Brown. Someone else was pretending to be bow wow. Remember little bow wow? Little bow wow. Now I just known as bow wow. And that was a I believe, was that, is the bow wow one, are you guys familiar with it? It was a woman pretending to be

bow wow and she went into a club and had like an artificial phallis. And did the dance and did the grinding up against the person. The Chris Brown one we just played it was a woman who was catfishing her. Yeah, yeah. Now what what's the other episode we wanted to touch on your favorite episode both of you

producer girlies we absolutely love the katie peri it's one of the most iconic episodes ever you obviously have high hopes for this episode yeah i think this is going to be your best episode ever whoa why is that all right well katie is kate is kate is that's the Katie that you were talking about in your email? That's right. That's a wild claim to be making. Wait, time out. Is she not like with someone else now?

I think she is dating somebody, yes. Who? I think it's the elf from the Lord of the Rings. Oh, I got a Landon Bloom. That's right. It was so iconic. And then he went to meet up with Katie, quote-on-quote. Katie Perry, the Katie Perry.

Where did we meet again? on the app Yeah Dude It's her I don't think it is man Who else could it be I mean really Katie

You can't possibly think it's still Katie Perry I do It's that sad I know it's kind of Yeah look I've just found a list of like the most insane episodes

I've been reading that list Do I remember this one where The girl Was being catfish by her own her own husband? Oh no. What's the husband one? There was one where they had had a fight or something so she had started like online dating this person and it turns out it was the husband all along. Yeah. Which is like the modern take on that Pina Colada song. That's what I was going to say. It's the Pena Colada song.

So this one was Antoine and Tony having an online relationship for three years with his boyfriend Tony. Antoine reaches out to Neva Max for help and lists his cousin Carmen to assist in the Deep Dove Mission. Yes. And then it turns out it was Carmen was the catfish all along to Antoine because he had body shamed her at some stage in the past and she's like, I'm just going to start messing with him and there was in Trudeb and didn't know how to get out of. Oh my God. That one was.

Wild. If people like Catfish, I can definitely recommend on Netflix. There's a documentary called Sweet Bobby and it's about a catfish and I won't say anymore but just watch it. Sweet Bobby on Netflix. Isn't there the Catfish? There's a new, newish. The high school number.

That's also a great one. Get a month. Get a month. Well, I mean, Catfish, MTV. is over, but there's still plenty of catfish stories in... Oh, there's plenty of catfish to sea. Oh, plenty of catfish.

Don't get upset if you've never been trolled by somebody who's pretending to be somebody else. There's plenty more catfish in the sea. Play Z-M's Fletchbourne and Haley. It's time for... Fact of the day, day, day, day, day, day. do do do do do do do do do do do do what are you doing on your phone there? You look like you are looking up something.

No? No, I just. And look like you were like and you had something to say before we started a fact of the day. No. Okay. I was just looking up at time for a class. Just personal business. Personal business.

What time's spin class today? There's been a lot of personal admin. in the show today and the company dying. We're really cranking. We're on here. We're absolutely crazy. I think the show might be the best of the year. Whoa.

Big call. Wow. Okay. Today's fact of the day and the theme being specific units of measurement to an item. Today we're talking paper. Or ream. Bingo. Do you know where word ream comes from?

No. Getting a reaming. Yeah, bloody. I'll ream you a new one. A big pardon. Where is getting a reaming come from? Is that a thing? I'll give you a reaming.

Are we about to receive this? No, no, no, no, no. Well, it may be sort of related to the origin word. Is a ream like A4 paper from warehouse stationary, or is it like a roll of, you know, they get the big roles? So a ream, is an Arabic word. Spout Rizma. I had to look it up, but roughly pronounced as Hrima. Okay.

And it means a bundle or a packet. And they were the first to sell bundles of paper. So that was what's a bundle of sticks? Oh, grow up. Say it, come on, say it and get cancelled. I won't say it. I won't say it. What are you scared?

What are you afraid of? I won't say it. What's a bundle of sticks called for $1,000, Vaughn Smith? He needs the money, he needs the money. But who get cancelled and then you won't have a job. It's tone and intent. It's tone and intent. And you're going to make him say an F word on here.

You said to me, what are the first two syllables of a process that makes milk because they have to drink, I'd say homo. But out of context, I wouldn't say it. Yeah, right. That's right. Fear, fear, fear. Okay. So, you know,

grow up and move on. What are the origins of the saying? What did you say? Reem somebody. Get a reeming. Like, it would be someone yelling at you, telling you off. Give someone a reaming. Giving you.

Like, I got a, man, I got a reaming from the boss. Man, he absolutely reamed me to death. Well, ChachyPT is going to work on that for us. Okay, lovely, in the background. Create some carbon dioxide in the process. The verb to ream originally comes from the old English reamer to widen, open up or enlarge. In a technical sense, a reamer is a tool used to enlarge

or finish a drilled hole in metal or wood. The motion is vigorous, forceful. I think we are dancing into dangerous territory here. I'll tear you a new asshole, basically. It is. It is. That's why it was. To ream out, mean to scold severely,

or rebuke strongly drawing the idea of being aggressively bored out or hollowed out. Right. So what kids come from? Being hollowed out verbally. Somebody tears into you so much

you feel like they've torn a figurative hole in you. Yeah. To give someone a reaming. So there we go, we've learned. But it's not, that's a different one from the Riem of Arabic origin, which literally means a bundle and a ream is 500 sheets of paper in the modern standard.

That's it? Yep. Let's take a step back to a smaller packet of paper. A choir A choir Quire Q-U-I-R-E 24 sheets

Like for your wedding invites I'll get a choir A choir of paper Some marble Pink marble Yeah with nice sort of Yeah shimmery

Purlescent Yeah It's from old French Quir meaning a book of paper Larger Larger trade units A bail is 10 rams So that's 5,000 sheets

of paper as a bail A bundle Is 2 or 5 rams depending on the mill and what's a bundle of sticks uh again i won't say it okay um i won't be drawn into your foolish games that will cost me my job and thus my livelihood okay good um coward yeah was there anyway today's fact of the day we've run out of time we're out of time we're out of time i was going to get into size but uh okay no it's fine let's say that for another day today's fact of the day is a choir is 24 sheets of

paper, a ream is 500 seats of paper and a bail is 5,000 sheets of paper. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day, do do do do do do to do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do. Play. Z M's Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley

Play Z-M's Flashworn and Haley I just realise kind of how grim this story is but I'm just, you know, I'm an honest gal and I don't hold things back. Yeah, well just keep it kind of pinchy. Yeah, oh no, it's PG, it's absolutely fine. But yesterday I had an appointment at Casey, Casey Clinic. Yeah, okay.

Got a peel, signature peel, glowing skin. Yeah, lovely. And I... Did you pay for that? No, God, no, hashtag ad. either. Look what they've done to you. Why, I'm gorgeous. So that's just her face. Is that just her face?

Yeah. Oh, we've got a real mirror on our hands. Have you four had a little bloody hooey this week? Are you tracking my period and went, oh, it's due? Let's have fun with this. The four of you started with Shannon earlier in the week, actually relentlessly bullying me. We are grounding you, Haley. I'm not grounded.

Your period's late. We're trying to bring it on. We're trying to help you out. We're trying to help you out. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll get some emotion charging and get this period happening. Well, that or we're looking at a show baby. Hey!

Not that any of us were involved in the making of the baby, but I'm just saying we'll have to raise it as a village. I've got the experience. It takes a village. I've got the experience. And Flech has got the money. I'll be absent. Yeah, well, you can be an absent to you.

Stop cursing my worm. Don't curse the worm. Anyway, I went to Casey Clinic yesterday, and that's why I looked so hot today. I left and I made the mistake of not going to the toilet before I left and I had to go home from in town all the way out west to pick up something from Tittirangi

which if you know Auckland's way out way Are you buying more things of trade being? Stop going to Tittarengi! No because remember last time I car broke down so I couldn't end up picking up the same thing. Same thing. No, the car didn't break down you didn't put petrol on it because you're a dumb idiot.

Remember you're a dark bitch? So I was like I have to go and get this because she messaged being like I'm literally moving from Auckland like are you going to get this? What was it? I cannot even say it. It just makes the story so dumber.

Say it. A two-headed duck taxi doomy duck. Oh, for sake. Stop buying dumb shit. I mean, I love it. I want to see it, please. Is it in a... It's in a...

It's in a dome. Duckling, duckling, duckling. Hang on. So it's in a bell jar. We'll get this up on socials. Is it in a bell jar? A two-headed taxi... Was it born two-headed?

Well, it says genuine By the way, you didn't come to Skid and Zanes at the weekend There was a guy there who he did taxi Dermy. Oh, Demer. He did taxi Dermy. You should ask her an intro. Double-headed taxi Dermy Dermy Dirk. Why did you buy that?

Why would I not? Have you met her? Have you seen my house? Have you been in, even had a glimpse inside this mind? Stop buying things. It's so awkward how long money and you're buying a two-headed duck. To be fair, I bought this before I started owing you money. Okay, okay fair.

she get that from? I don't know, I don't know. And who's moving and not taking the two-headed duck? I don't know. Is it a cursed item? Maybe it's cursed. We'll find out. Anyway, so I go from town. I have to go all the way into the bush. To buy the two-headed duck. Get the two-headed duck. And then all the way back for a 40-minute drive back to my house.

It's a long drive. This is like over an hour. So on the way to get the two-headed duckling, the urge to pee comes on. And you're like, I can hold it for not very long. I've got a very weak pelvic floor despite all my efforts. So I go up and I get the duckling and that's fine and I come back into the car and it's the moment I sit down

and I'm like, oh no, like there's a little feeling and I was like, oh that's okay. Of course the pressure of being a man's bastard with a on loan Mazda car. Leather, thank Jesus. Yeah, right, okay. What happens is I also have a little bit of a feeling and I release what I think.

is a small fart and what the fart does is creates room thus the urethra is no longer pressed and I wet my pants a little bit why did you say that

because I didn't think I was releasing wheeze I thought I was releasing a small toot but the toad release created a space The fire was integral to the pressure on the urethra. So I was squeezing with all my mind. I didn't realize the gas was also helping me.

43 years old, I'm still learning about the female an antics. We learned about the ariolas today, didn't we? Yeah, that they grow during birth. That's no great surprise, but I'm saying Cardi Bs must have already been big. Anyway, so I pissed myself a little bit. Okay, great. I didn't make it to the toilet. Does Derek know about this?

I don't know. He listens to the radio on the way. We're catching up tonight. Oh, dear. And as a Mazda bass bass. I do apologise, a little bit of urine came out. Okay, well, leather seats, it's been clean. Let the seats, it has been cleaned. And also, that wasn't the end of it.

And I'll just say, when I got, I pulled up my car into the driveway, there was just no making it. Oh, Haley, in your own driveway? Wait, where was the two-headed darts? So I got out of the car and I just had to pull down my pants. And be in the drive. You know you don't have to say everything on the radio, A. Like you don't have to say everything

I don't know how not to Wait so I know that feeling When you get hungry It was just like the moment I had just Get off my tush to get into the driveway It was like all pressure is now gone Yeah So it was

We myself to the deck How many like toilets and malls Or shops did you pass You could have used one I'm in the bush It was a back road bush drive From Tittalangi to my house Anyway I want to know

I would know where's on the back road bush You know that time I peed on the side of the motorway No regrets. And I didn't, and I struggled all the way high. Yeah, exactly. I want to know right now. Oh, I don't know if we'd need any more of these stories. 9-6-96.

When did you not quite make it to the bathroom? When did you not quite make it to the bathroom? Yesterday I struggled. Twice. That's what we need to say. If you missed it, you missed it. Yes. Anonymous joins us.

Anonymous. When did you not quite make it? Okay. So I was walking to work one day. I lived at the top of Queen Street, and I worked at the bottom of Queen Street. Handy. And I left the past, like, kind of needing to pee, but, like, oh, I'll make it.

But I also wanted to try on some sweatpants, like, buy some sweatpants on the way to work. Okay. And so I went into a shop, tried on some sweatpants. I was starting, this is halfway down Queen Street, so I was able to quite weak bladder. So I needed to peeve. Yeah. I put the sweatpants on and that suddenly pressed against my bladder and I wet myself in the clothing room, in the dressing room.

That's okay. Wait, and then did you just leave the sweatpants on the floor and leave? So I didn't know what to do. I put them back on their hanger and I hung them back out and I sprinted home. Oh, my goodness. My God, no wonder you want to be anonymous. Yeah, this is one of those stories I've kept, I've never told a single soul, and now I'm telling the whole country.

Why are you telling New Zealand? Wow. I know that we've done phone and topics in the past about the grim things that have happened in retail stores. And, like, you know, there have been like number twos and stuff. I almost think there's a feature and I've never told anybody but. Yeah, I love that. He's a feature king at the moment before. Oh, I'm cranking out some features.

Yeah. We're really coming up with some features. Anonymous, thank you so much. We've already done caller of the week. Wait, I know, I was just about to say, can we give a text of the week? Text of the week, text of the week. This kind of bravery requires a prize, I believe. When we're going to hook you up with our text of the week.

Yes, it is. A $50 animates match out of the bottom. Text of the week, thanks to animates. Animates makes happy happen for pets. Thank you. I would normally say that, but I cut my fruit up on it and it went soggy, so I had to throw it out. I've got the liner there. Vaughn's got a line to do another one.

Well, to be honest, I didn't think I'd have to do it. Do we have any other lines? No, it's all done. Anonymous is getting that. Well done anonymous. Thank you. The messages. Holy moly.

Um, um, my, my. Do you know what I feel it happened? Haley opened up so much that it made everybody else feel comfortable. It's a floodgate. Quite literally a floodgate. Somebody said, I do Twitch streaming. I stream on Twitch. I really needed to poo, but I was mid-game, mid-stream.

Had some people watching. So, held on. I thought, I'm just going to sneak out a fart. Wasn't a fart. No. Full-blown. myself like a baby, it blow out the top of my ass cheeks and up my back.

There's so many stories like this. I ship myself one New Year's when I was young. I was at the pub, was having way too many vodka oranges. Thought I was letting out a tote, but the whole lot came out. I just ran home. We were at the pool and my five-year-old ran past me. I said, where are you going? He said, toilet and I left

them to it. He came back screaming, shat dripping out the bottom of his pants and yelling, I didn't make it. I didn't make it. I shed on my pants. And it was just dripping out all over the floor, then walked through it and then walk towards me being like Mom and I'm just like not mine, not mine

turn around. I know this kid. We're going to turn around. Code brown. Georgia, have you not made it to the toilet? Multiple times. This is an ongoing thing in our friend group guys. I've also done what you have done, sat in the car trying to get inside the house and then all of a sudden in my ex-boyfriend's bum pants

wearing a G-string, it slides out one side. Oh, Georgia. Oh, Georgia. Okay, again, turn to much detail there. What do you mean? Someone said, you haven't lived until you've shot your pants riding a horse. If that's living, count me out.

Yeah. If that's your idea of living, that's just wild. So many messages in. What was the one I just read? Someone was at a party at their friend's house and they were busting, and they sat down with such haste that they didn't realize the toilet seat wasn't up and they peed all over the lid.

Oh, no. Oh, my God. So good. Oh, bladder emptied instantly Only to discover the seat was down So funny Somebody pooped their pants in an Uber They were too scared to tell the Uber driver

They really needed to go toilet They thought they'd just sneak a little They wound down the window Because they were preempting a fart But then they wound down the window And shit their bathroom Wound down the window to shoot yourself It's so funny

My niece works for Woolworth She's through an old man walking down the aisle In the next minute Little bits of poose that are coming out The bottom of his pants He kept on walking like nothing had happened I can't wait to hit that age How old do you have to be to get that?

Yeah, honestly, probably didn't know anything it happened. No. Oh, I once met parasailing in Pai here. No. Oh, no, you can't poop from height. What, behind the boat on that little sail with the smiley face on it? Oh, my God, before Take, I was absolutely freaking out. I can't remember at what point exactly.

On the run-up, I peed myself. Luckily, they dug us in the water on the way back down so you could have to tell. Oh, a little wash-off. That's handy. IBS-guily here. In Japan, I was in a taxi back to. to our motel, started sweating

because the number two was on its way. And for all those that know, IBS, you don't get much time or warning. I asked the taxi go

for a bathroom stop or we're on a massive motorway and the language barrier didn't help until I started yelling, I will shit in your car. I will shit in your car. He pulled over

and I ran to the side of the motorway shaking and crying. I did my business as many Japanese people drove past. Oh God. The man is so polite in Japan too. They wouldn't have liked that.

And somehow still the man in the taxi married me. Oh my God. Not the taxi driver, but the other person that was in the taxi. 2006 school sports day, running the race. Oh, no. Shat myself while running. It was like manure spray.

Wait, tell me your nickname after that wasn't poopy, runny pants or something. Yeah, poopy McRoney pants. Please text in with a follow-up to what. Did you get a nickname out of that? 100% you got a nickname out of that. I hope it was clever. Yeah. Like, you know, maybe named after a fertilizer spreader.

Oh, my gosh. My husband pooped in a rubbish bin in the Paris Underground Tramped on. Oh, God. Not all of it made it in the bin either. In Paris. In Paris. Has some respect. Somebody said, we're going through the McDonald's drive-thru in mid-order.

My husband farted and the person taking the order said, Did you just fart? And it made me laugh so much. I wet my pants. Stuck on the Auckland Harbour Bridge. Stuck on the Auckland Harbour Bridge, I poop myself and ended up being like a booster seat under me. Luckily, my Navy uniform, which kept everything in.

I had a trek to see a friend with benefits. It was a 45-minute walk. Okay. Weed before I left, but also smashed a bottle a liter of water because I needed to we afterwards. Yeah. Who wants a UTI? Nice.

And we, I sort of admire the prep there. Admire the prep. We love a post-wee. Well, you've got to. Yeah. You've got to. So was walking there, 20 minutes into the walk, I was like, this is no good in the suburbs.

I was like, I'm going to make it, I'm going to make it. I didn't. I lost control of my bladder. Had a light leakage in the pants, squat on the side of the road in broad daylight, and then didn't have the ability to do wipe dry arrived with pussy pants, still rocked up and railed freely. I have received

the nickname that she got at high school Hussein Bolt. Oh! We just gave away text of the week, didn't we? We can't do another one. Hussein Bolt. You had a standing ovation in studio, Hussein Bolt. That's brilliant. That is brilliant. And please tell me that's also on a lever's jersey somewhere.

Pursain Bolt. It better be, if not. Send us your lever's jersey and we'll get it screen printed on. Yeah, exactly. I'll personally pay for that. Who's sane, well, what were you? I mean, how can you not? What happened to your personal recession?

I'm going to spend my way out of this recession. Hey, remember how you just gave that Uber driver five stars because you wanted five stars back? Yes. Let's do that with this podcast. Oh, yeah. Review it five stars. Tell your friends and we'll do the same for you

if you ever need a review for anything. But where are you giving me my five stars? Well, I don't know. Do you own a restaurant or something? Yes. If you give us five stars, stars on this podcast, tell us where you would like your review and we'll review, even we won't even go, we'll just review your thing.

I don't want people to know where my restaurant is. I'm doing one of those secret restaurants. Oh, I was going to say that's exactly the opposite of how restaurants work. Play ZM's Fletchhorn and Haley.