ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - September 29th 2025

Episode Date: September 28, 2025

On today's episode of Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod: We divide the nation with today's SLP & we hear stories of backstab and betrayal Cat owners donate more to charity Why are we attracted to people who are taken How much are kiwis spending on streaming services Top 6 - As chosen by you Stop being funny at work SLP - Which Island is better? Hayley wants to join cool Aunt TikTok When were you betrayed by a friend? Selena Gomez is married!!! Have you had a secret relationship? Fact of the day Hayley reviews Dunedin Escape rooms for first dates See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

From the ZM podcast network This is Fleshwoman and Haley's Big Pod Thanks to Animates Making Happy Happen for Pets Good morning We're only a couple of days away from October Just think about that for a second

I'm excited because it's my birthday next week And man the fuss Oh the fuss that's going to be made about me I don't even think we've had a meeting about Well after the meeting today Oh Hayley you know I'll go Oh I'll go Oh man

And we'll go too I just yeah No no you're always You're behind after the meeting today The problem is the money's run out This time of year But you know me I don't need goods You know I get my own goods

Yeah Well let us think about that We've got a week or so don't we Oh the money all went on Herman the German That's not my bloody present That was a gift to the nation That was kind of spearheaded that though That's not

Herman's not my present It feels like it was an early birthday present Now, how are we feeling after daylight savings? No, I'm shattered. No, but I did the wrong thing rather than sleeping in. Me too. I woke up earlier the whole weekend. I went to bed earlier last night, neglected all of my work.

And then this morning when I woke up at 3am and couldn't sleep, I got up and did work before work. You got up at 3? But that would have been like getting up at normal. No. No, it's the other way. It's the other way. Because right now, no, I'm not going to use that joke too.

it's so. Yeah, I'm going to do it now. Right now it feels like, blah, blah. Yeah. That's just going to be everybody's day today is daylight savings, banter. It's so funny how much it throws you at. It's like how when you go to Australia, your jet lag's really bad, but you can go to Europe and it's kind of fine? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Just that, like, one to two hour throwout that you're like, ugh. It messes you up. Coming up on the show, the top six warn today. Yeah, the top six ways to stay safe in the winds. There's a wind horning. More win-warnings for Canterbury. Oh, okay, good. Oh, my God.

So yesterday my flight home from Dunedin to Auckland got cancelled. So I went to Dunedin, Christchurch, Christch, Auckland. Such a joy. Do you have a hairy landing? Oh, my God. Daniden to Christchurch, because we're on a little plane. Yep. It was, I was like, I guess we die now.

It was harrowing. Is it those, is it the Northwesters? Well, yeah, the wind warning was over at 1 a.m. This morning, so I don't know if this top six is out of date. It's out of date. We're going to have to cancel this. No, we're behind. No, do it anyway. The crash jet wind warning was five hours from 8 o'clock last night to 1 a.m.

So it's fine now. There's no other wind warnings. Well, I could just change the tents to the top six ways people stayed safe in the wind warming. Perfect. He's nailed that. I am now casting open the net of suggestion, 9-6-9-6. What would you like today's top six to be? Oh, my God. I literally gave you a million options.

I don't like any of them. They were all shit. I'll say, I listen to them too, and they were. pretty cramped edge. That's why you don't get in a segment like the top six. They were a doubt they were all fill a no killer. Okay sure. Nah I'm open to suggest. Okay well that well you've got

to fill the top six soon so work on that. Next on the show cat owners I've got great news we are better than everyone else. I think we kind of knew that anyway right? We didn't know this but I actually have a refutable proof now. Okay good. Play ZM's Flashboard and Haley.

Well cat owners it turns out as you mentioned Haley the better people. Yeah, we knew this. We knew this. Oh, man. I mean, you traverse and dog.

You've got a foot and edge camp. But you'd go, you're a dog man over a cat boy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Outside, off the deck. Dog.

Well, somebody, for some reason, analyzed 800 million donation records. Wow. And in a nutshell, basically, cat owners donate 14 times over 10 years compared with 11 times for non-pet owners making them the most frequent givers

to charities and that over non-pet and dog owners. I wonder what the psychological reason is behind that you know, like we're more generous and affectionate. Affectionate. Yeah, we love little

floofy cuddles. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What are they donating to though? Charity in general. Just charity in general. Hashted them heard more about the break down to what kind of charities? You want to break down 800 million donations by charity?

By charity, by what you own as a pet. No, I want to know, is it like to help animals or is it to help humans or... Because do you know what I realise that I am still donating to the World Wildlife Foundation for the koalas?

Are you? Yeah, from when they had those massive bushfires and they all got burned. Wait, all the forests have grown back though. They're fine now. I mean, they're very endangered still. But...

You damn. fool. The forests haven't grown back. There's just no way the trees could grow back that quickly. They're so luscious and yeah, the eucalypus is back. All of them. Yeah, all of the trees are growing back. Bananas. Yeah, but I forgot and then I've actually been going through my accounts recently because

How do you not notice? Because you've entered a recession and you've got to work out why? Yeah, it'll be like, what's that? Busy than ever. Busy than ever, working more jobs than ever. And yet it's not enough. And then I saw it and I was like, what is that? And I was like, man, that's been years. I'll keep doing it. because I love the koalis.

Like, they bring me so much joy. How, Haley, how much? You've got to rein this in. No, no, no, it's not much at all. It's not much at all. In fact, I could up it. I could up it. Okay.

But, yeah, I donate to charity on the rear. Well, I guess koalas, cats, cute cuddly. Cute, cuddly. Like, koalas are grey. My cat's grey. Again, you're just a better person. I am just a better person. Step it up, dog owners.

Play ZM's. Flash Vaughan and Haley. If we sniffed catnip, would we be affected by it? No. I've tried. Coy, you guys were ready to go on a desperate night out. You're like, I think I've got some catnip somewhere.

No. Okay, why are we more attracted to people in relationships? Because we can't have them? It's forbidden. And also you're just... Can I say I'm a hot property with the gays at the moment? Are you? Yeah, you are.

Hot property with the gays at the moment and I appreciate it. Right, have you had some lovely comments. They want me. Because they can't have them. They can't have you. For so many reasons. I've had some lovely, I've had some little. Lovely DMs from the gays, like that.

Okay, I have one I said it. What's that? What does that stand for? Some deep positive thoughts. Oh, yeah, there's some of that. Yeah, yeah, nice. Mostly dick picks, actually. Oh, okay.

Oh, exactly what that stands for. He's nailed it. You've stumbled across it. Oh, okay. Yep. Okay, so I get this. I understand there is something about, you see a guy and he's out with, you know,

holding hands with someone, and I think it says something about them, you know, that they're sort of committed, and you're like, oh, that looks nice. You can kind of pitch them in a relationship because they are in one. But apparently, this is actually, this is, it's not just like a sort of societal thing, this is a psychological thing called mate choice copying.

Oh, okay. This is back down to our animal days when we used to be crawling around. Crawling around. I was crawling around. What is mate choice copying? It is the likelihood of choosing a mate, the likelihood of choosing

it increases if others have already chosen them it is an act of social proof that being chosen by someone else signals desirability so we're going like you're more desirable because someone already desired you and got yes

many species do this humans, birds fish and primates that's all okay yeah it's basically you are signalling that you would be a good partner because you already are to someone else you signalled traits like loyalty, commitment, and capability. Capability is so hot.

Capability. Just being able to do the basic life things. Yeah, totally. When you see a man, like, put air in a tire, you're going to get it. Wow, there's a low bar for you, isn't there? Yeah, I don't know. It is. Capability is so hot.

Flip an omelet. Yeah. Flip me. Hang a photo frame? Yeah. Hang a frame well? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Trim my hedge. It's literally a nail on the wall, isn't it? I know, but some people can't. Some people just have no idea. So if you can't hear it already, women are more susceptible to this. Yeah, okay. Due to the evolutionary reasons

it gives a higher maternal investment. So we're looking at you being like, man, you hang a picture. You could probably rear children with me quite well. Okay. Not the first thought that comes to my head, I'll be honest. Okay. tend to look for suitable cues

for long-term partner suitability. So just seeing them in a relationship makes us go like when you can... They must have something. Yeah. Whereas men, they don't... They're not affected by this as much. It's...

Sometimes you see a guy with a woman. Yeah. A missus. Should we call her a missus? Yeah, a midi. And you'll be like, what's he got going on? He must have a killer personality.

And then you talk to him and you're like, Well, it's not the killer personality. Yeah. Is it a monster, schlong? I think we've got a monster schlong. Or it could be a monster bank balance, or it could be a great personality. Yeah.

It is funny how we question every, like, because on the other side, if you see a capable, handsome man, and then he's not single, and you see them on the dating app, so much of you's like, no, if he is single. No.

You said if he's not single. Oh, sorry, and he is single. Yeah, you're like, what? Why are you single? Yeah. But he could flip an omelot and hang a frame. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

But he's not taken. He just might not have found Mrs. Wright yet. You don't want him. Yeah, I know, because I'm like, there's got to be something wrong with you. You've gotten this far looking like that good. There's got to be something. Play. ZM.

Fletch Forne and Haley. This data comes from Westpac. It is pronounced data. Data. This data. Data. From Westpake. New Zealand is a spending almost $400 a year on TV service subscriptions.

The bank says customers, its customers are paying TV subscriptions on average, $33 a month, and that's up 20% compared with last year. But that's because haven't they all put them, all of them have gone up, right? Like Netflix alone is almost $400 a year. I know, that's what I thought. Because Netflix is like, is it $27 now or $28 or something? It depends if you're on the cheap plan. There's all different.

So I'm not. I'm on the big, I'm on the fatty. So I think mine's like 28 times 12 is $336. So that's Netflix alone. That's Netflix alone. So whether people are doing a cheaper Netflix and there may be one more on average One more?

One more service I've got them all You've got them all See I and I've spoken about this before You do you do one on one off Yeah I know I know no no no no no Binge or you want to watch on Netflix

And then when you're like Ah go to go to the next Go to neon there's so much great stuff Amazon has great Like loads of back catalogue stuff Yeah I know Yeah I know you need to do it like Wait until the big show comes out on that thing

And then get it back And then that's your thing for a bit They always have a big show coming out. I know, and they're dropping all the time. I know. Like, Netflix is so good at the moment. What a horrible conundrum to face, eh? I have too many options for entertainment.

Do you know what's really, really good is, God, hang on, just give me a second. I'm going to log into the Netflix. TV's good. So you're going to log in on your work laptop and your parents are on your Netflix. She kicked me off her Netflix. Yeah, I did.

That's fair. She kicked me off her Netflix. Wayward with Tony Collette is a new. series on Netflix that I've been watching over the weekend I love... Is this the sequel to Muriel's Wedding? No, not at all links.

I think everything with Tony Kaledin is a possible sequel to Muriel's Wedding. Yeah, and then the other one was the, um, what's Jason Bateman? Oh, Black Rabbit, Black Rabbit, Black Rabbit? Black Rabbit? Black Rabbit? Sheep. Black rabbit? So good.

They say it's Ozark meets God, it's really good that I've got all the information right at the tip of my tongue for everything I've been saying, Because it's, um, who else is in it? It's Jason Bateman and Jude Law, Jude Law, yeah. So good. It looks like a good time. Yeah, it's really, it's quality.

Okay, have you watched it all? Yeah, I've watched it, the whole thing. Have you? How many Epps is it? Shush, sorry. You did nothing over the weekend, but did you just stay in your room and... No, no, this was last, yeah, I was literally in Dunedinidin, all I did was watch the Tony Colette one.

Okay. But the weekend before I watched Black Rabbit. I don't know, like eight or so. Okay, it's so good. It's really good. Okay, well, there you go. Lots of options. Oh, hang on. So we've started this break being like, you know, cancel your subscriptions and now I'm like... But now you've convinced me to buy more. I didn't say cancel. I just said that people are spending $400 a year.

You did. You said cancel. You said rotate between them. Well, I think Haley needs to cancel some because you've got all of them. Literally every single one of them. And I was going to sign up for another one. And I was like, stupid. But yeah, if you... You've got to go on your... Some banks do it.

a thing now, right, where you can go through your subscriptions and it will say like, this is everything that you're paying for on a monthly basis. Yeah, and then when you see that figure as a whole, it's more confronting than if just $15 comes out. There's a 10 and there's a 15. It's definitely worth looking at.

Play. ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Haley. From your local community Facebook page, this is the top six. Today's top six things you can do with an extra hour of daylight. This was the listener suggestion because I open it up. God, there's daylight savings.

It's never easy, is it? It's just an hour but it really throws you. I don't know. I think I'm just always tired. Do you know make? Yeah, yeah, yeah, same. It's dropping the pond. You could just tell me what time it was. It's a sausage in the hallway, really? Yeah, it really is. Boom.

I don't know if that's the right analogy. No, I don't know if it is. The hallway being shit we're dealing with. Yeah. And the sausage being daylight savings. You're just like, cool, bro. Yeah. It's not normally what that analogy is used for. No, sausage down a hallway. What's it used for? I don't get it.

The hallway being live and then chucking another thing out of you. Let's just go with that. Okay. Yeah, I think it works. Top six things you can do with the next hour of daylight, Emma's suggestion number six on the list. Right in your gratitude journal. Do you know what? I have to start today.

Do you know what I'm starting? What? A book called Triumphs and Tragedies. Right. So it's when things went well for you. You write The Triumphs. Yeah. And then on the other side of the page, you write your tragedy.

and how it can be avoided going forward. I feel like the book's going to be one side. Pretty one-sided at the moment. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not going to be, it's like a shampoo conditioner. You're always running out a conditioner

before you run out of shampoo. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The tragedy's heavy. I'll be like, on page five of the tragedies, triumph, half a page. No, I'm going to try to find the triumphs. Yeah, I'm going to do a gratitude journal. My trainer, it's part of her, like, program,

and she was like, I want you to do this. And I picked up the one that, the last time she told me to do this. I'll say it was pretty negative. So I'm like, Like, I'm going to turn it around. Fletch, you have no issues in life. Join us in journaling?

You're not spiraling? I'm actually fine, yeah. You don't need a journal because you're not spiraling? No, no. You don't have any thoughts in this job down? Life's not falling down around you? I'm all good. Yeah, I'm fine.

We're just a sausage in the hallway, really, aren't you? Oh, just another bloody sausage. Just another sausage in the hallway. It's a sausage in a hallway. Bouncing off the walls. Again, I don't know if that's the right use of that. I'm pretty sure it's a very universally accepted phrase. Saunders out of hallway.

Not for that, though. Get a sausage in your hallway. Number five on the list of the top six things you can do with the extra hour of daylight. Sun dry some tomatoes. We're all dehydrating our tomatoes nowadays. What about a good old sun dry? No sun. It's still kind of crap weather.

It's an extra hour of daylight. Each hour of sun. Sundry some tomatoes. Number four on the list of the top six things you can do with an extra hour of daylight. Grow some flowers. I love flowers. They give me joy. Do you know what's really popping off at the moment?

My bird of paradise. It's a beautiful plant, and I always imagined the bird was like a roadrunner-type bird going, but it's actually supposed to look like a little hummingbird. Well, why don't you put that in your journal? You put that in your journal. You did right, that's a trial. Because I gave it a heavy prune. Okay, we'll put that in your journal.

I gave it a heavy prune last summer. Tell your journal. Yeah. That I've had success with the plant birds. Yeah, good. I'm getting some friegers. My friegers are up. They're beautiful.

Save it for your journal, mate. The daffodels, I think the daffodels are done. Save it for your journal. I bought some supermarket flowers, as I want to do. And I came home after the weekend away and the heads had dripped. Oh, yeah. Well, they'll take it back for a refund.

Yeah, because I only got them like Thursday or something. I think it's forever. Yeah, well, they should last more than three days. Did you put water in? That'll be out. That'll be it. Oh, you got me there. Like a sausage down a hallway.

Like a bloody sausage down a hallway. Number three on the list of the top six things. Don't think that's right, but carry on. Anyway, the top six things you can do with an extra hour of daylight. Have an ice cream. Ice cream always hits different in daylight It feels like a naughty treat Whereas when at night time sometimes ice cream

Just ice cream But in the daytime, what a treat Daytime ice cream? What am I? Oh we're so close to ice cream Yeah like a sausage down the hallway Scoops Number two on the list of the top six things

You can do with the extra hour of daylight I thought that might have been in the building now One too many times Put them in journal actually That's not a triumph Yeah just like another bloody sausage down the hallway Number two on the list of the top six things you can do with the extra hour of daylight,

be glad you're not a vampire. Yes, of course, they can't go in daylight. Unless that Edward Cullen. Yeah, why was he special? Sparkly, bitch. Get a tan, bitch. And number one on the list of the top six things you can do with the extra hour of daylight.

Sun Uranus. Exposing Uranus to the sun is called perineum sunning or butthole sunning. No, we don't do this because you remember Josh Brolin. He burnt the art of the an terrible perineum burn. Well, he exposed it for too long. Wellness trend, this is from online, involves exposing the perennium,

the area between the genitals or the anise, the gooch, as it's sometimes no one. Yes. Oh, yes. To sound like a sausage down the hallway. Often neglected. Preach. Okay, move on. While proponents claim unproven benefits

like increased libido energy and improved sleep, medical professionals warn of risks, including sunburn, increased risk of herpes flare-ups. Oh. And potential skin cancer, especially for those individuals with certain types of HPV. Oh gosh. Goodness. So I would say...

You've got to be weary. Keep your butt holes out of the sun. Well, I would wait till the UV factors down in your lows. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Okay, good. Early mornings, late Arvos. Perfect. Not middle of the day, full strength because then that's just another sausage down a hallway, really, is it? Yeah, you're right. You've said it there.

Play ZM's, Fletchbourne and Haley. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Haley. According to a recent study outside of the University of Can't Find It, but it's in America. There were three professors who looked into why you need to stop trying to be funny at work. Oh, okay, right. Well, you were just quite funny then. Oh, shoot. Because I was going to suggest, because we're constantly doing this.

I mean, obviously we would like to make the people laugh out louder, but the three of us are always making each other laugh, Always being very naughty. There's some inappropriate jokes. There's an inappropriate jokes, before we took a picture and I tried to come back in the room and Fletch pretended like he's going to close the door on me,

and I was like, oh, and we had a laugh. He's a silly boy. But apparently, if you're trying to be funny at the time, chances are that you are going to fail. Sometimes your jokes will fail, and failed humour does more damage than successful humor provides benefits. Wow. Wow, isn't that something?

So if your successful jokes are giving some benefits, your failed jokes are hurting more. Yeah, but I mean, obviously we work in a, our job's completely different than most jobs, but I can imagine most serious corporate office workplaces. You've got some clown coming in, making jokes. It's not really the place, is it? It harms credibility more than a successful joke helps it. So I think just in general, we'll keep the humour for on-air.

Right. And I think the three of us could just not be funny anymore. Okay. So we'll do a practice chat off air We'll do a practice chat, we'll do off air That's not a fun workplace, is it? That was Benson Boone And then hit to the ads

Okay There was a really great break, guys, well done How are you finding your morning coffee This morning, Vaughan? It's okay, I had one before I even came to work And now I've had a second one And I can feel the anxiety building Because I haven't eaten, you see

I see, I'm at my instinct, It's already to go silly What were you going to say? I don't know, that just needs to be like, I'm, and I'm currently looking at deceased estates. Yeah, okay, right. There's nothing funny about that. Can you not laugh?

Sorry, sorry. Sorry. Yeah. Someone died. And I'm looking to purchase their property at a good, low amount. Stop out. The family has been torn apart by a shared asset. And no one can agree to what to do with it. And they'll take anything.

I'll take advantage of this situation. Someone died. Stop trying to be funny at work. Maybe I've just had someone who died. I'm sorry to hear that. failed joke and now you've lacking credibility in my life. Who died? Well, no one. What did you say that someone died for?

Now you made me sad. Your humorous failed and it's tarnished our working environment. This is the rest. It's too much of a gamble when you try to be funny. It's worth it. It's worth it. Play Z-M's Fleshwon and Haley. Silly little pole Silly little pole Silly little pole Today's silly little pole

Wow we're dividing the nation Which island is better? North or South? Okay This is the... I went... I mean I live on the North I was born on the North

Me too We need to do next We need to do... Sorry carry on Well I was if we'd said Which is the prettiest South Which is the most

Like got the most entertainment and more going on. South. No, North. But then you're saying... What's the entertainment though? Well, yeah, if you're talking about hiking, gardening or the outdoors. Yeah. I don't know.

It's subjective. We've got Rainbow's End in the north, you know? I don't see a single roller coaster fixed to the ground anywhere in the South Island. No. He's got a point. I mean, someone's built a backyard one. I kind of love that we've made it so subjective just by saying better. Yeah. Because you're like, better at a holiday, better at a holiday, better at a lot.

live in, better to want her. Who knows? I mean, we live in the most beautiful country in the world. I think you say the most beautiful city. I was like, no, we don't. Definitely not. There's no doubt about this is what a hell of a country. Put that in your gratitude journal. Actually, live in New Zealand. That's a triumph.

That's a triumph. I'm a triumph and tragedy. She's doing the gratitude journal. I'm doing a great of gratitude journaling. If you just joined us, Vaughn and Haley are both journaling. Yeah. Someone's spiraling. My spirals not. The spirals not.

which island has been north of south 54% voted for the South. South Island. Yeah, okay. South just Pippa North, North 46, South 54. Sheldon said

you haven't got Auckland or Hamilton in the South Island. Now I'm not sure which way they voted and that statement could literally be taken either way. It could like, I don't know which way they mean. They haven't got Auckland in the South Island. No, famously. It's not. Yeah.

It's not. Lots to do. Great eateries. Francesca said, Queenstown. Eyes made of hearts. Yeah. I mean, it's just beautiful, isn't it? Oh, when I'm off to Woonica soon.

Woonika over Queenstown. Yeah, I'm going to Woonika soon. But there's less to do. And there's no McDonald's. And there's no McDonald's. They didn't want to McDonald's. They didn't want Nogne's. And you know, I love my quarter P's.

You love Nogne. Forty pea and a six pack of Noges sweetens our sauce. Yeah. Sometimes fries. Oh, man. Now I want McDonald's, we're going to stop. Everytime's thrice. Earl said, that was probably the hardest silly little poll you've done.

I picked north just because of the amazing summers in Northland. There's a point. You've got the Bay of Islands, you've got the Coromandel. Yeah. This is a problem. It's a hard question to answer. Can I say summer in the north, but then can I say every other season in the south? Like autumn in the south?

Spring in the south? Lupon. Summer in central Otago and Wanaka. Too hot. Too hot, too dry. Too hot, too dry. Too hot. What are you?

A forest? Too dry. I am a tinder dry forest. Winter does suck in the north. Winter's in the north is wet and cold, not that nice South Island dry cold. Yeah, that's true. A lot more blue skies. Yeah, yeah, okay, we're turning.

Gemma said south. I live in Hamilton. Okay. Okay, I don't think you need to drag Hamilton. Yeah, yeah. Emma said, my instinct is a jaffer is to say north, but my absolute favorite place in the whole world is Topo. but I always recommend South Island

Roadie for foreigners visiting Alteiro. Did it sound to you like Emma thought that Topol was in the Topo? South Island? No. No. She just loves Toe-Poor. And my favourite place.

Okay. Not bar. She's so her favorite place is Toopo. It's a beautiful spot. Recently some tourists were only in the North Island. We had the lovely listeners come in. Oh yes. You were a wave-old.

I was. I organised that and then was an absence. But they were seeing like friends of some family members in the north. And they weren't going to the south. And I was like, oh, no, you need to do south. You need to do south. But when you drive the north, on a great day, you're like far out the hills. Yeah.

So great. The central plateau. I mean, yeah. Mason says, and this is an interesting point, North, the Mason jar, yes. So dumb, sorry. Ah, so you should be. I bet someone that runs a home west or really love that joke. Yeah.

And that was just for them. Mason, B. Oh, yeah. Mason B. Mason Airy Yeah Why do we call them Mason Airy

Is it a brand or is it Mason Erie is my favourite position That is really good actually I don't think you're going to be funnier this week I don't think that's good Peaked on a Monday Yeah You've picked it

As God intended it As God intended As God was wanted to do As God was not to do Twist a little Twist a little And wait for it to pop And then wait for it.

Then we're done. So Mason, near a position, said I've lived in both, and as much as the South is beautiful as exhausting to get anywhere. Spread out. I've lived in the South Island as well.

It's a bit more spread. And it's a lot more... Where did you live? Nelson. It's in Nelson and Central Otago. Jureem said, last time I checked, there isn't an invocangle in the North Island.

Can't be the best when you don't have the goat in the roster. That sounds like a really. real one-eyed Southlander. I will advocate for Invercargall's properties. Beautiful properties down in the Cargall. Big old. She's cheap and beef money of the late 1800s. She loves a bloody Reno.

He loves a dusty, old gal. You want to do another Reno? Yeah, I had such fun on the last one. Yeah. And you want to do it in some of the most unappealing climate New Zealand has the offer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wonderful.

Wanika says Kate. Lakes, mountains, wine, skiing? Man, wine. She's not wrong, darling. Juan. A lovely pinot. Charlie Dialing

Dialing Darlick Darlick Lurlian It's our people on Waiiki Island talk They're getting The Waiheki

Dialect Naxin is getting Their vowels aren't Ae E or E O It's E E O O

Wain The vowels The vowels Are you and Sometimes Wayne And one And Wain

And Wane M M M says South Island, more space, less people. Now that's actually great thinking. Yeah, good, good call. And Eden said, Northland carries most of the weight for the North Island, to be honest.

It's a truly phenomenal, both culturally, oceanographically and geographically. Are you not wrong? Unique. So I'm voting for the North Island. That's well thought out, Eden. Thank you. This was a tubs little pole. I like this.

It does remind you that we do live in the most beautiful country in the world, don't we? We do. We don't we. We don't we. We don't we. We do that it. And the way. That's a good way.

Silly little poll today, which island is better? The South Island pips it at 54%. Play Z-M's Fletchhorn and Haley. There is a TikTok trend sweeping the app, and it's all about being the cool auntie. As more and more women, like myself, I guess kind of is celebrate choosing a more unconventional life or, you know, bucking tradition of becoming,

married home-owning mothers. You can't call them that anymore. No. You've got to run it quite quickly, eh? Homona. Homeowner. Homona. Yeah, yeah.

So, typically... Homone. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Welcome to the world of being a homeowner. Sorry? Sorry, what? Yeah. We're all homones here.

Yeah. Anyway, so the videos typically go like this. They go, Plan A. Married by 25. Homona by 27, kids by 13. 30. And then it switches to them like now. Drinking wine? Yeah, being like plan B, cool auntie instead is the whole thing.

In Europe. Yeah, in Europe, child free, on a bow, on a day, doing whatever. Celebrating a different zest for life, more financial freedom. You don't have to have nieces or nephews, by the way, to jump on the cool aunt trend. Okay, you just can be one. It needs to be an auntie. It's basically just celebrating not

following traditional female roles. Which so many people are, men and women. Well, you know, my whole show, the baroness, this year, is kind of about this. And it's interesting, because at this top, I talk about it a lot and ask, like, who has kids and who doesn't and whatnot. And afterwards, they have so many chats with women. It were just like, oh, my God, yeah. I just maybe, like, thought I was going to go that way and then realized that actually there's just other things, I guess, to put your time and money towards. Where it's for me, I've never wanted it, ever.

Yeah. You're like holidays and like chockies and like blazers and handbags. The new iPhone. The new iPhone is 17 on its way right now. What are you doing? You're just fingering some spice. I've got children and I can't speak ill of them. Yeah.

No, they're not listening. Go. Yeah. I drive them out of them. No. I mean, they're trying to be a dad and then you've bloody loved them. I'm, yeah. But you've always wanted to be a dad and then you became a dad and you love being a dad.

Love it. Whereas, you know, for me, I did pee on a stick last. week, you know, and I will say, I was terrified. And I will say, you're right, you are right, you've got the new iPhone, you've ordered the new iPhone, I don't have the new iPhone, I'm on a 12, I'm five behind, yeah, and that's because I've got children, all the money that would be going to the new iPhone has to go to like, school bags. Dad, we need a school bag, I need a new school bag.

Some friends in mine literally just sold their house, so that they, they didn't want to move out of so that they could go and move in a better school zone. Oh, school zones. Oh, God, no. I just live where it's nice. You know, like, I live where I want to live, do you know what I mean? I just went, this suburb looks nice. I don't even think is there a high school nearby.

This is lovely quash. This is lovely trees to it, darling. I mean, anyway, this is the, if you are someone like this that celebrates the child free life, you're going to jump on the TikTok Cool Aunt Trend. Fletchbourne and Haley

Play ZM's Fletchbourne and Haley We want to know right now Were you betrayed by a friend And what happened? I love these stories So how did you come across this article? There's a great site called Mamma Mia It's an Australian kind of like

So it's basically like a lifestyle website And I always go on it And it was 10 women sharing stories of when they were betrayed by friends. One of them, like it starts from two girls matching with the same guy on Tinder and they were best friends for 20 years. Everybody else, the minute a sentence starts two girls,

your brain goes one cup. I know, it's so bad. How bad that was, and if you've never seen it, don't see it. No, no, no, no, no. There's nothing good, no. But that's where my brain has. No, but when you think about it, like, you think about events of the last couple of weeks,

that was actually quite, in the scheme of things. Mild. Dose. What I would do. What I would give for the most disruptive thing of my year to be, two girls one cup. Yeah, I know. Not saying a man gets shot in the neck. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

When you didn't ask to see it. I know. So they both matched with this guy on Tinder, realized as they were sharing, as best friends do, like this is who I'm chatting with, realize it was the same person went, okay, well, we'll both just back away, but one of them didn't. And so they ended up... On the date, so the friendship ended up splitting up. It's not worth a 20-year friendship.

I know. Another friend was used at a wedding So she provided You know cake and service and all this kind of stuff And then the friend never paid her Oh, that sort of used Yeah, yeah, yeah A friend was a 35-year-old friendship fizzled

After one of them had a baby And the other one was like, you're boring now And then when the That does happen, that does happen But that's also good that that happens Because when you have a baby They need to be looked after And if you're a party person

You just keep being a party person You're a piece of shit Yeah, totally And also it's just a sign That they've never a true friend In the first place But then, so this person had a baby The person never came and visited

Not once, like didn't even text or anything And then the new mum broke her leg And was like, I need help And then the friend was like I'm not really interested anymore Anyway, we want to know When you were betrayed by a friend Maybe they took your man's

You hear about this all the time, like, you know, like... Lied to you. Yeah. Like, I don't know, someone cheats. The best friend cheats with the husband or something. And you're just like, how did that happen? The best friend, you're like, you've got to be kidding me. Or they stole from you?

Maybe they stole some money from you. Maybe they stole your identity online. And then got a loan. Maybe you were going to a potluck and they got first choice. You were like, I wanted to do that. I'd go bigger. I wanted to do it. Oh, I think we want to hear bigger story.

Oh, I think we want to hear bigger. stories. I'm just saying what if it was mac and cheese? Yeah, what if they said to you like, oh my God, let's both shave our heads. Three, two, one. And then one of them did. Prank. Prank. Got you. Got you. Got you. Got you. Now you're bored and I'm not. Okay. 0800

dials at em. We'd love to take your calls now. You can text through. 9-696. When were you betrayed by a friend? We would like to know right now, when were you betrayed by a friend? Because people just been sharing their stories online and I thought that was so great, I wanted to hear from our lovely list of us.

You know what, they don't even you're real friend then, is it? No. No, I know. But then when it's 15 or 10 or 20 years down the track and something like this happens, you're like, how could you? But it does, and this is the thing, I've been best friends of my best friend for 30 years and you're like, imagine if she ever betrayed me. No, it's too long.

No, no, she wouldn't do it. No. I'd murder her. Anonymous joins us. I wouldn't say that on the radio. You know what, Jessica? I would murder you if you betrayed me. Anonymous joins us.

When were you betrayed by a friend? I had surgery last year on my dominant hand. I'm right-handed. And I couldn't do anything for myself. And I was at home and she'd come visit me and she'd bring over coffees for just herself and not often to get me one. Oh, gosh. How dare she?

And then we were also sitting, or we're just sitting in my lounge. And then all of a sudden there was a knock on the door and she'd ordered herself Uberites to my house. What a weird? That's not even I'd do that. That's just weird, though. That's not even, that's weird.

And I had not, like, said that she was ordering food or anything like that. And then, yeah, so I just ordered my cell food breach. What weird behavior. How long were you friends with this person? Oh, like, maybe three, four years. It's such an odd thing to do. You always say. Do you want coffee?

I'm starving, I'm going to order some food. Yeah, before you go. Yeah, that's... I would have offered to pay for it. Like, you know, it's not like I'm expecting you to pay it. Pay you back. Yeah, yeah, if you're ordering it, I'll pay you put some money in your account. Yeah.

And so, were you just like, this is it, the friendship's over? Oh, yeah, yeah, I ended that friendship. There was a few other weird things that happened to. That's sort of a nail in the coffin for that one. Give it. Give it. Give it. Give us another one of the weird things. Oh, gosh. No, no.

No, no, that's fine. Did you tell her it was over, or did you just ghost her? No, I told her. Okay. How did you break that? I don't want to be friends with you anymore. It was like a breakup message. Oh, okay.

Hey, this has been really fun, but I feel our lives are moving in different directions. Yeah, pretty well. It's over. It's over. Next time, bring me coffee. Hashtag dog. Anonymous, thank you for sharing. Let's go to another anonymous caller. When were you betrayed by a friend?

Hi, I was betrayed me and my best friend at the time Both worked at a shopping mall She was in a clothing store and I was in another clothing store Okay One day she got caught on a, when I wasn't there on a weekend Shoplifting from the same wall You don't shoplift where you eat Is that the same?

Yeah You've made your bed now don't shoplift in it Yeah Yeah So the Scruti guard told her well, you're banned from the mall for two years. She said, I work here. And he's like, well, you have to tell your boss

because you can't come here for two years. She kept asking to get transferred instead of telling her boss that she got trespassed. And the boss wouldn't transfer her. So she told her boss that I was shoplifting and she was just with me and that she had been trespassed as well.

So her boss went and spoke to my boss and said, by the way, she has been caught shoplifting and is trespassed from the mall lucky my boss went to security and got the security footage and they both sat down and watched it together to see that I wasn't even there

but yeah she accused me of shoplifting to try save her own butt that is so rude how long had you been friends for it at that stage about seven years best friends in separable all the time what that's insane behaviour

oh my god somebody just smacked ass and was it did they never got a bloody smack as a kid. Did you, like, end it with her, or, like, how did it end? Yeah, that was it. That was it. I was like, you just tried to get me fired. Yeah.

Good indicating, by the way. Yeah, thank you. Yeah, thank you. Always indicate. Always indicating. People don't. Couple of seconds. Got you on hands free.

Oh, yeah, lovely. Good saying. We're not judging you. Not judging here. I just like to hear an indicator in you. I can't believe she told that you were shoplifting. That's outrageous. That is insane.

betrayal after seven years anonymous. Thank you. Brooke, when did a friend betray you? Hi, guys. About six and a half years ago. So I was farming. I gave up farming for about six months. And my wife, at the time, she was like my opier. So we ended up moving down to Topo to her dad's house. filled in all the tenancy stuff, which is great. And then about three months into it, I get a message from him asking why I hadn't paid any rent for the last three months. Oh, no. Rott roll, raggy. Rot roll.

I was sitting there and I was like, hang on a minute, I have. And I'm going through my bank statements. And I was like, okay, I've paid every week. And I sat there and I said to my friend, I've just had a message from your dad. asking why I haven't paid rent for the last three months. And she's like, I don't know. Anyway, it's all good.

And I started going through everything, and I looked and I was like, hang on a minute. This isn't the same bank account on the dependency agreement. She's laundering money from you. Yeah, it turns out it was her bank account, and she was keeping it and not even paying anything

and just sat there quiet as to say, like, oh, I don't know what's going on. Oh, and so is that over then, the friendship? So, me being the person I am, I forgave her, but then a year later, she ended up passing away. Oh, my God. What a bloody twist? What a sordid tale?

So, but her father took me to tenancy and everything, and I was like, what's that hell? Like, you know, I've got good thing with, you know, all my old rentals and stuff. What the hell's going on? And did you have to pay the money back? No, because I had proof that I had been paying it. Oh, that's good.

Going into her account, he ended up taking her to tenancy and getting all the money from her. His own daughter? Yeah. His own daughter. Okay, wow. What a wild story? Shortland Street.

What is it, ding. What is it mean? Thank you, Brooke. Some messages in. betrayed by a friend and there's no shortage. My ex-best friends decided I was a B, sorry, ex-best friend, singular, decided I was a baby killer because

I was in charge of giving childhood vaccines. Oh, okay. Yeah, that's... Needless to say, that didn't end. Well, and I don't miss her. My friend and her partner borrowed my vehicle, I later had a call from the police that a vehicle registered in my name had been used for in a hit and run. What? Turns out her partner tapped somebody and kept

driving. No one was severely hurt, but they were never going to tell me. Tapped. Tapped with a car. car is worse than tapped on the shoulder. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the spectrum of taps. Yep.

It's up there with hot tap. One of my favourite taps. Tap dancing. Another great tap. That's down there. Tap dat. Yeah. Tap dat.

That's number one. That's my number one favorite tap. Tap and gap. Tap and gap. Tap and gap's a great tap. Morning guys, I was married for six years and together for 13 years with two children, me and my partner, having a bit of an issue. My best mate at the time was homeless and jobless, so I let him stay.

and he ended up sleeping with my wife 37 times. Wow. 37, wait, did they keep a diary? Always nice with a guy with no job and no home swoops in and takes a missus. I'm happier now more than ever with the woman of my dreams and now buying a house. We'd never have had it, you know, if it didn't happen this way. It always works out. You don't shag my wife 37 times.

Well, that's what, you've got no job. I guess you've just got time to burn and shags to shag. 37 of them? How do they know it was 37 times? The 37 got me too. Is 37 a prime number? It feels like... Yeah, I don't think it's divisible by anything, but it's south and one.

Yeah. Fletch didn't know what a prime number was. I don't know because I went through a desal one primary school. Such a thick. Desil one. Now that's a prime number. Not my story, but someone I know who was wanting to propose to this girl was being kept in the dark by his own friends that she'd been cheating on him with her best friend's husband, with her best friend's husband.

The penny dropped when the best friend has been going through cancer treatment while she was sleeping with her husband. Oh my God, double back. stab. Judas. It's unbelievable. How could you even feel like good about yourself? Like that's the lowest of the law.

We always say on these things we don't judge, but because this person isn't the message, I'm judge it on you. I dare you. 35 years ago I was at university and my dad was dying from cancer. I was in a group for a uni assignment and some friends and I hadn't done with some friends

and I hadn't done my part as I was busy doing stuff for my dad. Fair enough. group meeting and they told me they didn't believe that my dad was sick and they wanted me out of the group I was so shocked I would have dragged in his coffin well a week later my dad died and I dragged his body in and showed them a week later my dad died though

I've been friends with him for about 10 years that's terrible ain't that is horrendous Judas Judas Judas Brutus Brutus? Et too brutic My best friend was in charge of our flat account while flatting with another friend long story short she was siphoning money out of the account

You hear of this all the time Yeah, this happened to my friends And making us pay her back And it turned out she'd stolen seven and a half thousand dollars So we made her pay us back kicked her out and told her all of her friends That she was a You walked her through town

Ding dong Yeah, shame Shame Shame Shame Guys can you know what don't betray me eh Also yeah number one isn't a prime number It's debatable

Because it's divisible by one in itself But it is one Yeah Two is a prime number 11 is probably my favourite Again I don't know what you're talking about Seven's gorge Seven is gorgeous

If a number can't be divided by anything apart from itself On the one Play ZM's Fletchforn and Haley Congratulations Goes out to Selena Gomez and Benny Blanco Who over the weekend married And boy oh boy they look cute She wore like a beautiful

Sort of holterneck white dress And he just wore a classic black tucks Yep She shared some photos on her Instagram just with the date, got married on the 27th. That was Saturday. Our Sunday. Yeah, this is Frash.

We're only bring the freshest news here, Vaughan. Fresh. And a lot of celebs there. Heaps of celebs including Martin Short and... Martin... Who's the other guy? Steve Martin. Steve Martin.

I was like, it's Martin and Martin. Because only murders in the building. Yeah. Only murders in the building. And then they were sharing stuff because in one of the episodes, meters in the building. She's in a wedding dress and they're in tuxedos and it was all very cute. And also attending and what an honour it would be. BFF Tay Swift.

On a very busy week. Very busy week. This is packing off a big week for her. So she, you know, she said screw you mother nature. Private jetted in to look at Carwin ready to bite. She jetted into the wedding and then immediately afterwards jetted back off. Because she's busy, man. You know what? I found so interesting is that every, all the guests, like, it was full of celebrities. Paris Hilton was there, like everyone was there. They all were taken, like, they stayed in their, um, hotels, whatever,

and all got onto little shuttle buses and were taken to the venue. So no one knew what the venue was, except for Taylor. She was told so she could get herself there. Oh, okay. I also, can you imagine shuttling celebrities in a shuttle bus? Yeah, we're in the back row. Remember us on the bus after Mike and Matt's wedding, you know, and everyone's Lucy Goosey, anyone's got a,

can in their hands and stuff. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I know Taylor's security is a lot heightened at the moment because her stalk is missing

and they're a bit worried. Yeah. But, yeah, everyone was in these little shuttle buses. How cute. That's really cute. So Paris Hilton, Ed Shearon. Yeah.

Paul Rudd. I saw photos of Paul Rudd. Because he's in early murders as well. Yeah. Meryl couldn't make it. Meryl Street wasn't there. She's filming. Deval was Prada.

Oh my God. I know. Did you see, did you see sidestep? Meryl in character as Miranda Priestley at Dalton Gabana's runway show and everyone was like

and she did like a little Vogue shoot with Anna Winter. Anna Winter but yeah the wedding looks so cute like she just like she looks bloody happy doesn't she which is nice because she's had a bit of a rough run our our girl Selena and Benny Blanco I mean

congrats. They're now Mr and Mrs Levin you know that's his last name Levin Oh I think you're going to say Mr Mrs Blanco No it's not his last name He's a very funny individual He is. He was on Little Dicky's show, Dave, and they called each other Chuck. And it was like, I think it might be, there was a segment, like, before the opening titles.

And I just thought it might have been the best opening to a comedy show I've ever seen. He's quite giggly, eh? So, this is a busy week as well for the T-T-Tay, the T-Gays. The T-Gays. That is my official title. The T-Bays, the T-Gays. The T-T-Days, because it's album drop. It is, Friday.

We've got our mouse pad to celebrate. Did you go see it? that? We've got a life of a showgirl mouse pad in the producer's booth. Mouse pads? I didn't think we were doing mouse pads anymore. No, we need to. It's a yucky desk. Oh, okay. Grim. I thought they all had lasers in them now, though. You'd literally have a mouse pad.

You've got a mouse... You've got a wrist. You've got a gel wrist support. Clint needs a gel rest support for his wrists. Because he's a DJ with RSI. He's a DJ. Yeah. And I just turn it around to the side because I don't use wrist. He's got very strong wrist. I've got ex. extremely strong wrist clink brittle bones yeah i've heard this brittle bones so he needs the boy needs the gel rest pad but i see clint constantly drinking milk is that he drinks more milk our clint

but he has i'm constantly seeing him drink milk just loves milk also i just come in the way that that i come into the mouse that that looks right doesn't it's gorgeous technique it's great technique it's phenomenal phenomenal it's actually you're playing the meous like it's a piano yeah thank you everyone's tuned out now eh because that's that was super boring wait sorry you did excuse me we don't need the live analysis of the show wait so can we go back to so tail yes you're right thank you to get us back on track i think we need to spend at least 10 more minutes on mouse pads mouse pads and mouse and clince osteoporosis mice would it be mouse pad or mice pads oh no that's a good question what is warehouse

stationery say when you go to mice pad but is it mouse pad but is it mouse pads but if we were talking about The pads, plural is not some mass. I think it should be mice pads. Play Z-M's Fletchborn and Haley. Play Z-M's Fletchborn and Haley. There was someone who shared a story of when they were in high school. What was their name?

And they said, they've given code names. Okay, what was the code name? Billy was his name, the code name. Bad code name. Because all the, it's such a juicy story. It says anonymous. Yeah, it's got to be anonymous. Yeah, anonymous. So they were sharing this

This is long before normal people was written And turned into a TV show Which was a great show if you haven't seen it That was like five or six years ago I feel like I watched Paul Meskals like big breakout How normal were these people? Very normal

Very normal And what was the gist of it He was the popular boy in school She was the nerd, they fell in love And throughout the years as they became adults They kind of came in and out of each other's lives Yes And it was beautiful

Very beautiful show she said she was with the popular boy at school that they started hooking up and everything and then afterwards he said something to her that said like it just doesn't make sense for us to be together but I still want to keep hanging out it's just at school can you not mention it and for the rest of their

late high school years they kept this up between 16 and 18 and he would never said anything and it was just like he was basically embarrassed Embarrassed by her, yeah, okay. I mean, that's probably a big red flag, giant red flag you would say. Yeah. So this girl at school, she was, like, not very popular at all.

She was the funny girl. So she was like, no one ever fancied me, but I was really good at making people laugh. Right. And then one day this, like, popular guy kind of like, let's have a go. But, I mean, like, I would be so insulted if someone kept me a secret. Because that means they're not proud of how you look and how, like, who you are. it can be, there's lots of reasons people have a secret.

I was going to say that, religion, or like a different sexuality. Yeah, true. Like, they don't want to come out or they don't want to be people to know, so they have a secret relationship with a guy or a girl. This is what I want to know right now. Have you been in a secret relationship, whether it was secret? Workplace? Because it was embarrassing or, yeah,

there were other reasons. Workplaces have those rules where you're not allowed to be in a relationship with some else. Yeah, that's why we had to stop ours. Yeah, stop. Whenever the three of us are hanging out, always like, I need to pee. Oh, I need a P2, I'll come with you. And I'm sitting there waiting and all about meals arrive.

You've gone for an hour. You're like, shiny and sweaty and stuff. Yeah, we still find each other quite irresistible all these years later. Very irresist. Yeah. Can't get our hands off each other. It's been a long time since the Google rumor. Yeah, but you guys are gay.

Yeah. Well, born and had kids. Kind of ruin the rumor. That'll put a stop to it. But for whatever reason, maybe you're hiding it from your parents, like a religious thing. or a cultural thing. A sexuality thing. Yeah, or you're hiding it from your friends for some reason.

I knew people that had a relationship. It was a guy and a girl, and she started dating the brother's best friend. Oh, yeah. And so that was going to be awkward for a while. Yeah. And then it was all good. I've read lots of books where that's the storyline.

That is a real smart trope. It's a trope. It's a trope. The brother's like, don't you touch my little sister? And she's like, please do. Oh, yeah, yeah. Okay, I'll read books. too. Do you?

Okay, 0,800 dials at him. Thanks to that. That actually gave nothing. That did nothing for the break. And it did actually take away from the break. You did nothing for the break. It's ironic and it sucked the energy right out of it. You're like an inert gas. Thank you very much. It's all I ever want. 0,800 dials at M. Give us a call now. Text through 9-696.

Have you had a secret relationship? We want to know right now, have you been in a secret relationship? or are you in one currently? Because a journalist shared online that when she was at high school she was sleeping with the popular guy and he wanted her to keep it secret because she was the nerdy, funny girl.

Which is a giant red flag, right? Like, if someone's embarrassed to be out of... Flaming red flag. They don't even want to be seen in public or at school. I think the person you're with, even if it's casually, should be proud to be with you. Yeah. And if they're not.

Then find someone that is? Yeah. I was trying to think if I had to see a relationship because definitely one of the people that I was with just before my 21st was quite ooh you know what I mean like in every sense of the word this is the DJ remember the story of the DJ

and I remember when it was my 21st and he was like my parents were going to come over early and just hang out with me and my best friend he was like well I'll come over and I was like no because I didn't want to tell my parents about him because he was like ooh and embarrassing so kind of I've had a sick relationship okay yeah wow

he was ooh and yeah and DJ Why were you, okay, if he was ooh, why were you? Yeah, why were you with him? Because he is a DJ. Desperado, who knows. Yeah, because he was a DJ. I don't know. He had tattoos, you know, that gets me.

Yeah, but then you said he's ooh. I'm so confused. When I was a young ward hog. It's actually when I was a young lady, but in my mind I was like, when I was a young ward hog. When I was a younger lady, I was in the closet, and my lesbian football coach and I got close and started seeing each other secretly as obviously multiple

reasons why it wasn't appropriate. Yeah, I'd be a player of the year at prize giving that year. Oh. After I left school, I went back and worked at the school as support staff. And while I was there, I started to date a teacher. Now, nothing happened between us when I was a student, but there was always a fear of that perception. So he kept it super quiet, and I must say, it was pretty hot.

Sneaking it to her office during the day when she was the only one there for a checking account. It sounds like one of your books, doesn't I have? Yeah, it's got one of my books. Yeah, yeah. I also read books. You just said you're and you looked at Haley, but you know I read books. You don't read those books.

I can read, though. I don't know why everyone's doubting my ability to read. No one's doubting that you can't read. It feels like you guys are doubting my ability to read. No one's telling. I'll read. I'll read. I'll read something.

He's struggling. He's really struggling. Okay, move on. Chemist. Anonymous. It's Chemist Warehouse. Anyway, Anonymous. That's what I was going to say.

I've been exclusive with a guy for 12 years and only a couple of couple of people know? What? We have five kids between us and they don't know? The kids don't know. Our exes got together and coupled up. So it would have been super shitty for our kids being given crap that, from their schoolmates that it was all together.

So we've kept it a secret. Okay. Now the kids have all moved out of home and we're going to come out soon. We're so excited. Oh, wow. Yes. Wow. So their exes got together and then these two exes were like,

we're together now, but we don't want to make it look like we've just partner swat. How do they not know though? Like, they must know with all the kids and... Different houses. Um, Anonymous joins us Anonymous. Did you have a secret relationship? Yeah, I did. It's been going on for three years. It's still, so it's at the moment

it's current. Yeah, it's very current still. Are you both keeping it a secret or are you just like the secret or are they the secret? Um, we both keep a secret because we actually worked together as well Oh

Is that the main reason you're keeping it cigarette? Um, yeah I think at the start We went into it like Would keep it See low just because we knew too many people Each other Yeah, and then now that we work together

It gets a bit complicated Because we actually work for a rugby team together Oh, okay Yeah, so Like none of the players know and none of the coaches know but it's quite inside jokes go down quite a bit with us

and it's quite funny, yeah. Oh, that's brilliant. Okay, I love it. And how long has it been going on for? Three years. Would you have plans on a launch? No. No, wow.

So do you think it's just going to fade away or it's just going to be forever secret? Like, it's definitely been on and off. Like, we keep going like, oh, this is a, bad idea and then like one of us will be drinking with the rugby boys and a text will be sent and then it's just

that's just like my books. That's no, I was going to say that's just like Haley's books. Guys, I can read I can read books. It's just like Haley's books. Yeah, that is very much like Haley's books and we definitely talk about that sort of stuff like

oh yeah. Can I ask you? It's hot stuff if you go back, it's hot. Does it turn you on it? Yeah, and like, first work for rugby, we wear, like, headsets when the boys are training and stuff. And then we have, like, a radio frequency that will... Oh, you have switched the channel out.

Oh, and that's a naughty channel. Your booty looks nice today. Yeah. Oh, my God, I love this. I love this. It's naughty. It is naughty, and it almost sounds like when it's not a secret, it's not going to be as hot, and you won't like it this much.

Yeah, that's kind of what we said. we're like, oh, it's probably just best if we do keep it a secret. Otherwise, this is going to be really boring. Yeah. Really boring. It does get boring. Oh, my God, I love this anonymous. It's so brilliant.

Anonymous. Might I say also, first time caller, long-harmistness. We'll take it. We'll take it. Oh, we love that. Thank you so much, Anonymous. It's great story. Don't be a stranger.

Some messages in. I was dating my brother-in-law's brother in secret for a while because we didn't want the family to know until we were sure it would work, and then we told them. Okay. So brother-in-law's brother. Keeping Christmas more.

Yeah, Christmas is tight. I'm a male farmer hooking up with my boss's supervisor and he's hot. I can't get a secret. Gay farmers. I've got some gay farmers. Gay farmers.

Oh, yeah. It wouldn't be many of those. My bit is not out and about. Text it, 9-6-9-6. Are you a gay farmer? Are you a gay farmer? Are you a gay farmer? We could do a new segment on the show.

Gay farmer. Gay farmer. Are you a gay farmer? I don't know what we'd do with the segment, but... Probably once a year we could do that. It's our yearly segment. On the 29th of September.

Yep. Or the closest weekday we can get because I am not working weekends. We do are you a gay farmer one year from today to celebrate. Yes. Yeah. See you September 29th.

Okay, great. Someone said, I'm still in a secret relationship. My partner and I worked together so we kept it on the download with our colleagues, but that was two years ago. I don't work there anymore, but he still does and hasn't said anything. We're planning on moving in together

and we're getting married next year. Oh. I was in a secret relationship. Gay farmer message. Gay farmer message. I was in a secret relationship with my now husband for eight years. He's Indian. And he had an arranged marriage for him back in India. We had a child. How yum is arranged marriage at restaurant in New Plymouth? Oh my God, New Plymouth shout out. That's really good. The best Indian restaurant in New Zealand. Would you say that?

Yes. Yeah. Because my favourite one's closed, yeah. Yeah, I'm yet to see a better one. But anyway, we had a child. Happy Indian though. We're now happily married. But his family didn't know about me for eight years. and only found out a few weeks before the wedding. I know a gay farmer. He farms ostriches, the most camp of all the birds.

That's the gayest bird. It is because it's all like... The showgirls, it's the showgirls for you. And it'll get a bit bitchy and go like, yeah, pecky, pecky, pecky. And all ostriches are called Matt. There's a lady in Masterton called Gay Farmer. Honestly, her name is gay. Oh, her name's gay farmer?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Amazing. Right. We're not asking, is your name gay farmer? We're asking, in your soul, are you a gay farmer? You're a gay farmer, yeah. Actively. And what do you farm?

I would have a dollar of... I also want to know. Tops. No, not right now. You farm tops. Shees. Carrot tops. They lock them off and they mill them for their nutritional greens.

They farm the tops and bottom. Yeah. Of carrots. Have we exhausted that? I'm done. Yeah. Oh, someone just said I'm dating a judge and I have been convicted of the past. Oh my God.

That's brilliant. I love this. That sounds like one of me books. It does sound like one of me books. I also read books. I'll prove it. Next on the show. Yes, I'm a gay farmer, dairy farmer.

Oh, okay. I think we're having the first actual episode of are you a gay farmer. Blue top, milk, man. Blue top. Yeah, green bottom. Yeah. Hey, oh. Next on the show, it's Factor of the Day.

What's the theme this week, Vaughn? The Brain. Play, Z-M's, Fletch, Vaughn and Haley. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. It's a It's brainwit-to-do-to-do-to-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-tud-to-d-d-d-d-tud-tude-tto-do-tude. It's brain-wwweck, in fact, of the day. Yeah, good.

We've all got them. It's the most important organ in our body, isn't it? Well, it makes all the other organs work. Well, without skin, would look pretty stupid. I, dear I say, I think it would be cold. I think it would be loose. And everything would flop out. Yeah.

Yeah. And we'd all look like Robbie Williams and the Rock DJ. Damn it, damn it, damn it. Yeah. But, I know, the brain. And brain health. Yeah. Brain health.

I know, we are going to talk about brain health later in the week. One of them is about. Going to go to slain. Have some slain. Don't drink alcohol. Oh, me, me, me. Oh, hey, that rich coming from you. You were slamming those pink drinks.

I tell you what, that's, at the end of the Allblakes game, the only thing left at Eden Park with those pink gin and tonics. Oh, shit. When there was, and Steinlazer, and yeah, Steinlager, yuck. This guy had all the choice in the world, and he was lining up for those pink drinks. Oh, I'm shocked, not at all, that he went for a sweet pink drink. Yeah, yeah, sweet pink drink. They love a sweet pink drinks.

$12.50 a drink, too. I know. God, we should open up a stadium. There's money to be made. Just open one up. There's money in that banana stand. Yeah, there's always money in the banana stand. Open up that stadium.

So it's about the brain all this week. We can have that kind of attitude. You're not invited to my stadium. I'll tell you right now, even if there's a big concert. Oh, band. Who you got? Who you got? All your favourite artists.

All my favourite artists. In one spot. Nile Horan. There. I'm there. It's the first name I could think of. I'm there. Beni Beni Beni Banasi.

Chimeraquai. Beni Beni Benignaci, but as long as he's playing satisfaction. Okay. Push me and then just touch me till I can get my satisfaction. There's such an interesting energy in studio today. Because I'm running on reserves. I've been on low battery mode. And you know what?

It's not good for the brain. It's not good. Back to the brain. He's a professional, back to the brain. Let's learn today about Christina Sandhouse. Oh, wow. Hey, the brain. I want to hear you.

Lady Mama. No, Christina Sandhouse, not Christina Aguilera. Oh, whoops. She is a woman who underwent a. hemispherectomy. Hemisphereectomy. So they took out her hemisphere. Her dome.

That is the surgical removal of half of her brain. Because of cancer? It was done to treat something called Rasmusins, something, something. Rah, Rasmucins, make your brain go pop, pop, pop. It's a rean neurological disease that causes severe chronic seizures and gradual deterioration of brain tissue. So at age eight, she went under eight. Eight.

I know. Eight. I suppose your brain hasn't fully formed. That's what they said. It wouldn't have worked with people older because she had still had time to like recover and grow and she was still like her brain was forming. So she went underwent an anatomic hemispherectomy

which in the entire right hemisphere of her brain was removed. It took 14 hours and her survival was low but the Rasmusans would have killed her anyway. So after the operation she lost motor and sensory function on the left side because of the old right side left side search. Yeah, yeah, yeah. and partial loss of some vision. She went through extensive rehabilitation,

learned how to her walk, balance, obviously everything again, because one half of her brain is gone. Here's what she's achieved with half a brain. Oh, no, I don't like this, because it'll be way more than I've done. Yeah, and I've got a full one. I've got a full one.

At age 17, she got her driver's license, despite everybody saying she would never be able to do that. Even the fact that she is 17, like got to 17 with half a brain. Yeah, she's competed in sports. She was on the high school bowling team and has maintained active pursuits As the doctor said, it is crucial Was she using the ramp?

The ramp? And the gutter guards. She earned a bachelor's degree and a master's degree in speech pathology in only five years. Holy She became a speech and language pathologist helping children and others with communication challenges

as she had faced them herself. Good on her. She bought her own house. She was a homeowner. I'm a homeowner. She married in 24. and became a mother to two daughters, despite the difficulties posted with her physical limitations.

Far out! And she's adopted, and she said the hardest approach, you know, everything else she could work through, but there hadn't been rehab for things or training for things in motherhood. For example, she said she had to learn and adapt herself to putting kids into car seats, changing diapers because of her limitations. So she's worked around at all. She didn't see them as limitations, just challenges to overcome.

Bingo. Put that in your Gratitude journal. That's a triumph. It's not a triumph for me. But I can't put everybody else's triumphs in my triumphs in Tragedies Journal. Not triumphs of humankind. What an incredible story.

That just seems like a good book. Yeah, it does. Yeah, that is an incredible story. Humans, colon, the triumphant. Yeah. We don't put bad things in there. No, we don't. But so today's fact of the day is there is a woman out there,

Christina Sandhouse. How, oh, ho. Not Aguilar. I've got half a bright. I mean I'm having fun I'm having fun today I'm having fun with my best friends I love you guys

I love you Fletch I love you Fletch I love you Fletch I love you Fletch I love you We don't just say it Willie Nilly We should be saying it Willie Nilly

We should say it more often I want to put this in my triumphs I love you I love you Thank you Fletch I love you too So today's fact of the day is Christina Sandhouse

had half of her brain removed when she was an eight-year-old and she's accomplished more than most of you. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day, day. Play ZM's Fletch, Worn and Haley. Well, thank you to everyone who came to see my show, the Baroness. in Dunedin on the weekend. It was so much fun, great crowd, great vibes, great show, great comedian.

She's modest and that's what we like about her. And I do apologise because so many of our lovely listeners afterwards were like, come have a drink with us in the octagon and I was like, oh, I was so tired this weekend. And I needed to take a bit of care of myself. So I went back to the apartment both nights. Really impressed. And last night you went to bed early and you had a weekend of chill.

Yeah, I needed it. Because you've been a melty candle. I have been a malty candle. My candle is more of an oil burner at this point. Yeah. Yeah. But I have some thought, I have a few reflections on Dunedin. Not Dunedin, also the accommodation that I was in.

One, do you guys know that the pedestrian ticks in Dunedin have a funky beat? No. No? They're like, do-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d- Did you record it? That would have been good, eh? Yeah, just because, you know, we work on the radio. Yeah, yeah, in audio. Someone is in Denetan right now.

Send it to our social medias. We just call us, yeah. Oh, that's a good idea. Yeah. Oh, 800, Zdem, are you in Denetam beside a pedestrian crossing? With the funky beat. With the funky beat. And if it's not...

Which one specifically, it might be a specific installation. It was... Octagon? The one to the right of the octagon, if you were facing up the hill. If you're facing up the hill. It was just to the side. It was on the main street heading towards all the shops and stuff, on the corner there. Down towards the cat.

not going up the hell. Is it down towards the Cassie? No. The other way. Other way. Well, that's going down the hill. No, no, sorry. Facing up towards the church is what I mean to the right. If you were facing up towards the church. Oh, Haley. This is terrible directions.

I know. I know. I know. You said the main street, that's not the main street. The main street runs perpendicular. It's close to the main street. It's close to the main street. Okay. Well, I feel personally attacked.

But I've heard it a couple of them. I think it's Dunedinide and White. It was like, you know, in Wellington, Auckland, wherever it's just the phone lines are open The phone lines are open of you again The phone lines are open of you Nobody's getting out of their car Yeah they are they love us

They love us We're universally loved They couldn't care People would do anything for us My other review is I stayed at I stayed at like an apartment Like it was an unmanned You know lockbox kind of thing

And I stayed at the service department No not so it wasn't Yeah I mean they cleaned it at the end Wait so you've only got the talents That they give you for that weekend Yeah yeah yeah We've got a towel heavy user over there Every shower I have, I want a new towel.

I'm in a hotel, I don't care. I had two towels and that was plentiful for the three showers I had while I was there. Yeah, fair. That was fine. So, when did you get there? Friday night. Friday night, Saturday morning, Saturday night.

I didn't have one. I didn't have one Friday night. Gross saying. Oh, you're making. You traveled. You're on a plane. And I did a show. And then I got home and I fell right to sleep on the couch.

Oh, no. I fell asleep on the couch at the weekend too. Nice. Woke up. Did not know what was happening. Yeah, it was very confusing. And I was in this apartment that I barely knew. But the apartment that I stayed at, everything was backwards.

So the lights, you were like pointed out and you flick them the other way for the lights to go on. The tap, in order to turn it on, you pushed it forward rather than pulled it out. The hot water was on the wrong side. Do you know what I mean? Like everything had been kind of installed wrong. It was very weird. Like an upside down house. Yeah, like I was like, how you turn the tap on?

and then I said to kind of lever it forward and then I put it towards hot and it went cold and I put it towards cold and it went hot literally everything was back with all the switches do you think someone was staying there and they... It wasn't overt enough to be funny do you know what I mean? Yeah no but someone could have been staying there

like a group of mates who are plumbers and electricians and they're like you know what would be funny rewiring the whole thing is mixing everything over. It was very confusing and then I do have to apologize I'm not, the apartment was lovely I have to apologize I got butter chicken

everywhere. Wait, is this on Friday night when you didn't shower? Yeah, Friday night afterwards. So you are stinky, you've been up since 4 in the morning. You've been on a plane, you're covered in butter chicken, and you're like, straight to bed for me. Yeah.

Dude, so I don't know how, but I got a butter chicken from like next door. Now I was like, oh, I'm so excited to sit down and watch TV with this curry. And then I did that thing, I peeled off the lid and it kind of went blat over the splash back in the kitchen and I was like, that's alright, I'll wipe that up. So then I wiped that up and I enjoyed my curry, fell asleep on the couch, went to bed, woke up in the morning and I was like, and there was a curtain, like a sheer curtain separating the bedroom from the living area and it had like three splats of curry on it and it was miles away from the kitchen. It was because you're going to wash. You've already walked to bed and wiped your mouth on

over the way past because it's such a feral bed. Then I went to the bathroom and there was a splat on the wall and then I was like what the hell and then yesterday when I checked out I always pull the covers up on my bed just to make it look not like a bloody hellstorm there's a little bit in the bed Oh my it's curry everywhere It's just curry everywhere

It's not coming out of a white sheet I know There was curry on the white walls the sheer Oatmeal curtain and the sheds I know I do apologise But anyway well that's what you get Having a back to front apartment It was all very old

Play ZM Fletch, Vaughan and Haley. Now, Vaughan, you've found a kind of what, a deal breaker or a great kind of test on a first date. Lauren Barnhill has written an article for the Everygirl.com saying this first date idea reveals compatibility in an an anna-an-an-a-an-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a. Because if you take over an hour, they say,

sorry, you've failed the escape room. Oh, God. That actually is a great compatibility test for me, because if someone suggested that, I'd be like, I'm never seen you at it. I love escape rooms I hate that It would be good because I would lose my shit You know what I mean

I've actually never done one But I think I would get too competitive And overworked and then my like funny comedian persona would come off And I would realize that I'm actually super highly strong And not that fun No I reckon Haley would lock in You'd lock in and you'd nail it

No but not in a fun way Not in a fun way I'd be like cut it out You know I'd get all snippy Fun Haley's left the room It happens every now and then doesn't it? Yeah Trying to find a pattern in something

And you're like I think this is something something and you're like, no, they told us we weren't allowed to yank that open. You were just like yanking on it, ripping crap out of the walls. And then in the wardrobe, the back of the, someone solves a puzzle in the back of the wardrobe, goes, gopong, opens, there's another room. I love escape rooms. I hate them.

Yeah, it's a no for me. I love escape rooms. But yeah, she goes on to say it's like a natural icebreaker. It shows how they handle pressure, which Haley's just said she would turn into a four-one monster. You get a good idea. I once saw a guy rear-end a car in front of me, like boom, and I cried and I panicked. I mean, it's just, I'm not even in the crash. You know what did you cry?

I burst into tears and I said, what do we do, what do we do? Yeah, I just got a fright. You just take down his number plate and case he bolts. Yeah, I got a fright, I don't know. Okay, maybe you're not great in an escape room. No.

You get a good idea of if you can and how you will work together. You also get a glimpse at your truest self. Yeah, because the stress and like you say, it comes out. High pressure, stress, times ticking. Yeah. You get to see whether or not they will. value your ideas.

This is actually really smart. And you have a shared experience right off the bat. And do they listen to you? Like you were saying, try this code and you're just like, no, no, no, shut up. But there's nothing more frustrating than being in an escape room with a dumb dumb. Like, no, like, maybe that's compatibility.

You just shut up and get ready to be told what to do. Imagine saying that on a first day. Yeah. She's like, oh, what are, what about this? Maybe the combination to the lock seven, seven, seven. Because those are my favorite numbers. Why don't you shut up? Maybe your parents dropped you as.

again. I am trying to solve a cowboy mystery riddled. Maybe this is a great test for a first day. When you break it down, you're like, yeah, that would be a great. If you're someone who's just like cut to the chase, I just want to know it straight away. And know how you worked here

that. Georgia, you just got married. Would this have worked on a first date with home? No, absolutely not. Also, it's hot in there, guys, and when you got heat and pressure and time, it's always hot in there. No, I'm out. See? That's what I mean. And then next minute, one minute. Neck minute is the same.

Sorry. You don't. We don't say neem. No, only Haley's saying that. You're in there, it's hot. You're in there, neck minute. It just flows. It's just so easy. It does everything it needs to do. Cheer, actually, cheer.

Oh no. Now, you've got some songs to play today, Georgia. How many have you got? I reckon there'd be about... Hundreds. Hundreds. Hundreds of thousands. Hundreds of choose from.

We've had a bird of the year announcement. The Kariariata, the Falcon. I love that. It's a beautiful bird. I met one earlier this year. Yeah, they're beautiful. Stoked down there at Wingspan Just out of Rotorua

Which I can say stoats I said stoked That'll be bloody stoats down you And that's the problem That's the problem Too many bloody stoats I ran over a possum on the way to work today I went across onto the other side of the road

And got it Smashed a skull You would just smash the skull You've changed your tune You wanted to tell us a racist story before I did not No me in this last month Well congratulations to you

Podcast list that you've reached the end So I would assume if you've listened all this way through, you're either asleep, in which case, wake up! Or you enjoyed it. So drop us a review and tell your friends. That's how podcasts work. Play ZM's Fletchhorn and Haley.