ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - September 2nd 2025

Episode Date: September 1, 2025

Gen Z have fuel anxiety Shannon's elephant question The rules of 'bring a plate' Top 6 Things my work would hear if they recorded my laptop Ned the snail SLP - What's the best way to move from a breakup? Lewis Capaldi reveals liars Friendflation is hitting us all What do you feel guulty buying? Herman the German The mystery of the missing a toenail? Fact of the Day QLP: Lime milk Vaughan and his Dad modellingSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

From the ZM podcast network This is Fleshwon and Haley's Big Pod Brought to you by Chemist Warehouse The biggest brands of the lowest prices ZM's Fletchhorn and Haley Thanks, Bryn, good morning Fletch Fawn and Haley It's six minutes past six coming up

This morning seven o'clock and eight Secret Sound Jackpot Thanks to Nair on $40,000 And guys, it's finally happening today After eight o'clock on the show Fletch Worn and Haley Bringing Herrmann Home

Fletch Woon and Haley Good morning Welcome to the show How did you get that Well I Thank you O Fletch This is my accordion This I've had since I was a little girl

It's my grandfathers I love that so much I will say We wanted to get a real Umpa band in you know Yeah They cost a lot of money. They wanted $5,000.

Oh my God. That is approximately 2.5,000 German francs. Oh my God. You're right. They're just unacceptably high! You went a little... You're a little bit too shalting. You're a bit angry.

I'm so sorry. Well, our German shepherd, Herman, our life-size ceramic, ceramic. Sorry, geramic. Geramic. Our life-size Germanic ceramic. we'll be joining us finally making it to Auckland after 8 o'clock this morning

I know and we are all dressed up well I'll say you guys look like little cute German I've got a fruit fly We've got a fruit fly in here God damn it I think you're Luftwaffe Yeah

The fruit will love twas No you're going a little bit And when you're going to go aggressive You guys are wearing your ladder hosen And I tell you what my I'm getting quite squoise down below Yeah a bit of a moose switch quite short shorts.

But I will say he's got a high waist short on, but the tush looks. Oh, great. Oh, great. Absolutely great. And I look, I'll say like a slutty barma. I'll say all of the... There's a lot of breasts. We look like a casual farm worker, maybe hand-milking a cow.

And you look like the cow that will be hand-milk. It's a lot going on. A lot of udders. It's a lot. Producer-girlies. You all look like you're working at a beer fest. Do you know what's so humiliating. I have to go out to the printer

to get our run sheets. And not only was there our sister station the hits, but they had our brother station Hodacki in there as well. So I was just standing there dressed like this in front of all of our colleagues. In front of the boys. Dressed like that in front of your brothers and sisters.

And then I couldn't communicate with them because it was soundproof glass. So I just kind of was like, ha ha. I'm looking forward to if we're just talking about anything else today not to do with Herman the German, and then that video makes it online. We're just going to look quite odd. Yes.

It's quite a low cut, isn't it? Hey we, Jessica. It's a lot. It's a lot. It's quite a... Why are neither of the boys looking me in the eye? Like, they're no one's on the other way. Can you look at me? Can you look at me? Please, it's me, your sister. Nine, I've a shan't look at you! The top six coming up, an Australian company.

Yeah, so when people were working from home, they secretly recorded. They had access to their microphones through the program they were using, and they recorded the audio of them being in home. Good Lord. Farts, I imagine. Fats. You reckon you'd hear some Barneys too, some arguments? I've got the top six things that the company would hear if they monitored my working from home microphone.

First, though, what has Gen Z got anxiety about now? Play ZM's Flashboard and Haley. Do you know I have never run out of petrol? Like I've come very close and, like, crawled into a... But I've never actually had that like... I drove for, I reckon, 10Ks yesterday when it said, No, no. Like, I went zero.

Zero, I'm going to go to my preferred petrol station. I'll take feel from anywhere when I'm like 15 on the clock. I'm not a snob, I just, this is the cheapest place. Oh, my, okay. No, there's no points. No, but you just do a little squirt at a local place. I'm stopping for a little squirt.

Then I'm stopping twice. I hate stopping for gas. My idea about the truck that drove around with the fuel tank. And you paid a subscription fee and I just topped it up. Just topped your car, just found your car. Yeah. You top it up. And I just top it up.

And then charge you what you're... You know what's not cheaper than crawling to your petrol station because it feels cheaper having to pay for someone to come and... Yeah, top it up. Rescue you. And then doesn't it like... Diesel's are not supposed to be driven... Empty.

Empty. No, because it puts all the crap through it, right? Yeah, there's crumbs at the bottom. There's like backwash, you know? Yep. Little spitty bitties. I'm talking about running out of fuel because, apparently a lot of Gen Zs

between, you know, 18 to 25-ish, 26-ish. No, Shannon's, no. Shannon's like... Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. That's... No, we're like 26, 27. We're Gen Z. Okay.

Just. Well, you young uns. What's the cutoff? I think 27. Oh, yeah. Who is? It's so close. It always...

It changes, like, it kind of... Yeah. 18 to 28. Yeah. 18 to 28. So 18 to 24-year-olds are the ones that have categorized. in this particular survey revealed that they have been running out of fuel

at a rapid rate because of something they call refuel anxiety where they're actually feeling really nervous to get out of the car and fuel up. I mean like, yeah, it's like it's nighttime and it's dark, then yes, but why are we scared? Yeah, no, it's not, it's not, um...

Because the pump, it's real big. Are they, they're worried about... You've got to clip the thing. They worry about that operating the nozzle. Yeah. I think there's some people my age that have said, why are you holding it? Yeah, there's a clasp. It never works, Vaughn.

I know, no, no, I know. There are faulty clips. There are, yeah, there are. Who had a car? And the car, because it works when the air blows back and it's like, oh, stop. Stop. And it unclips. Oh, yeah.

But someone's, someone's dumb car. Or you just had a dumb European car. No, and it was just, it was constantly blowing air back. Oh, okay. Oh, yeah. Why does it do that? So you go, and then you turn the nozzle upside down, and put it in, and that was my solution to their

petrol problem. Hey, one time petrol station employer here. Still solving problems for the industry. Well, they're having a refuel anxiety. They're unsure of how the nozzle works. They're worried to identify the correct type

of fuel. I always used to get that because I had a diesel car and people would always be like, you're wrong and I was like, I know I'm right, but there's a part of me that's just like, maybe I am wrong. Voltswik and loved it a little. Volkswagen. That's the East.

Oh, I did have a Volkswagen. You had to Volkswagen. She allowed the little diesel. So they're also really concerned about, sorry. They're also really concerned about parking close enough. Oh my God, yes. Yeah, I guess you can look at now you're like, but there is... We got long hoses in New Zealand.

I know, but I got told off once. He was like, you'll yanking the cord too much or something. And I was like, what do you mean? I wanted to yank your cord. And that was something else. There are petrol stations now that have signs that say hoes long enough to reach both sides. Yeah, so you don't have to wait for your side.

But still, you're always aimed to park. It's my favourite. It's a hose long enough to reach both sides. Yeah. That's my rock quest band name. Good from you. Put that in your Tinder by away. Hose long.

Just get a picture of that sign as your Tinder picture. Play ZMs, Flesh Vaughan and Haley. So before the show, we were discussing a news story out of Kenya, a tourist, a Spanish guy, has sparked anger at a safari because he poured a beer down an elephant's trunk. Oh, come on, that's animal cruelty, isn't it? Yes, well, social media did not hold back. And, yeah, honestly, this man, one of the most hated men on the internet after that guy that stole the hat from the kid. Oh, my God. We need to talk about that.

Well, he's kind of, yeah. I mean, he's come out and apologized. Just a sidestep if we may. He's come out and done the work. Have you seen this form? No, I haven't seen his apology. The worst apology, which is like, oh, come on, no need to ruin a man's life. If you were faster, you'd have the hat.

Oh, no. That's not an apology at all. Yeah, I know. It's really bad. Yeah, so this guy, the poured a beer down the elephant's trunk, and we were talking about this this morning. Yeah, the Kenya wildlife service are apparently investigating. Investigating the matter of year. That's wild.

I didn't think it'd even go close to a wild elephant. No, they were on a, it was on a safari in Kenya. Maybe it's the key to limiting elephant attacks. Maybe all they ever wanted was a bear. Sometimes you're a bit wound up, sometimes a nice beer comes in it. You were not down the trunk. But they suck water up their trunk.

Yeah. I don't think it's like, well, okay, so this is what happened during the show. We honestly didn't think this was going to make the show. Yeah. Yeah, and then Shannon asked the question. And rather than just answering it then and there, we said, put it in the show. Yeah.

Put it in the show. We'll talk about it during the show. Shannon, what's your question? If an elephant was to throw up, does it come out of its trunk or its mouth? You know, and it's good to ask these questions. You know, these are the things we need to know. Well, do you throw up through your nose or your mouth?

Yeah, but I know it's its nose-ish, but it's not. A bit always gets in the nose, though. When it was a bad one, it always got stuck up the nose, didn't it? Yeah. Yeah, so a couple of grains, eh? A couple of some rice grains. Oh, yeah. An elephant, yeah, they drink water out of their trunk and they move things with it.

I feel like it's not just a nose like ours is. So I feel like if you're pouring a beer down it and your body was like, nah, get that out of me. Surely it would come back out the trunk. Well, an elephant's trunk can dispense water, mud and dust. There you go. And yak. Oh my God, guys.

What? Elephants don't vomit. They can't. That's what chat GPTs just told me. What? The digestive system is designed so that food moves one way and the muscular structure at the stomach entrance prevents things from coming back up. Oh, like rabbits.

What if they have six-day-old chicken or a dogy kebab? It just blows out the other end, I guess, it just keeps going. Wow, so it just keeps travelling one direction. Yeah. That's actually why the ban one direction is called one direction. Because of elephant's vomit. Huge fan of elephant digestion. Well, I mean, we laughed at you at this being a silly question

because I was going to say, of course, they throw up out of their mouth and a little bit out the nose, like us. But no, they don't. They can't even vomit. The trunk isn't directly connected to the, the stomach, it's an elongated nose with nasal passages, olfactory sensors and muscles, the mouth is where the

esophagus leads, and that's the route that the vomit would take if they could. Right. But it only has one direction or five. To be fair, elephants haven't vomited before because they weren't drunk on beer. That's right. Yeah, maybe they'll, what's it called when they change through time? Evolve. Maybe

they'll evolve. She answered her own question. Sometimes I think out loud. I'll accept your apologies. Like we're moving forward. We're moving forward and it's, we're evolving. Play. ZM.

Fletch, Vaughn and Haley. And if you haven't heard Benson Boone's live version of a dowel, you simply must YouTube it. You must go to look it up. Oh my God, unbelievable. I love them. So bring a plate. A very common term in New Zealand, Australia.

Oh, go, come over. We'll have a little bit of a potluck. We'll bring a plate. I remember years ago saying, like, you know, that thing that'd give you when you became a New Zealand citizen or whatever, the manual thing. And there was a whole thing on it. And it said in there, like, if you get invited and they say, bring a plate,

you've got to have food on the plate. You don't just turn up with an empty plate. With your own dish. I remember reading this. Bring a plate. And they might have thought it meant like there will be food, but I don't have enough plates for everybody. So if you want to put food on something, B.WYO plate.

Yeah, right. Yeah, they say so it's a very like casual thing that we've all kind of grown up with. But it's very, yeah, it's very down under. It's very Kiwi Aussie. Very down under, but there are unspoken social roles. And these have been discussed in the end. Ed Herald this morning. Okay.

Because Americans are a bit confused by it. Because they're like, how do we do this? What do that, what are Americans do? Is it, do they just put a potluck? Potluck. But we do potluck too. Yeah, I mean, that is kind of bring a plate. Yeah.

So this is how they've broken it down for the Kiwi way. We've got some like dos and don'ts. Okay. Always ask, what can I bring? Yeah. So you've got a thing like, oh, we're going to do dinner. What can I bring? I'll do dessert.

There's got to be communication because you don't want to end up with, you know, eight plates of cakes or scones or salads. Yeah, totally. Yeah, no one's bringing meat. If it matters, lazy options like cheek biscuits, frowned upon. Because like a pack of mallow puffs back in the day was the... Oh, but see, I wouldn't be mad at a plate of mallow puff? But the problem is, there was only like eight mallow puffs.

Yeah. And there might be 20 people. What are you going to halve the mallow puffs? That's madness. You can't cut a mallow puff. No, you've got to be straight in there. You've got to be straight in there. And then while you're asking what can I bring,

you might want to ask if there's a kind of a menu going. Do you know what I mean? Like, oh, I'm going to cook a nice Chinese meal or something. A nice succulent. A nice succulent Chinese meal. What is my crime? What is my crime? Man, that touched me on the penis.

I know. I see you know your judo well. So like if they say we're doing a German feast, don't turn up with a sort of Japanese soufflead cheesecake for pudding. You know what I mean? How to bring it? avoid dishes that need reheating or refrigerating. Well, there goes our garlic bread.

I know. Oh, no, no, no. Come on now. Come on now. I don't mind putting the oven on. No, neither. It's easier. What if I've got a leg of lamb in the oven

and you're there with your uncooked lasagna. Oh, whoa, hold on. Are we warming something up or are we cooking it entirely? I'm happy to jam a garlic bread. Not Mama Ferelli's, that's trash, doesn't belong to my eyes. No, it's the only one. It's made of elite margarine. That's why it's so terrific and wet.

Homemade better than store borough. Brought, bought, sorry. And presentation counts. Oh, not me. It's just, my presentation is the weakest part of my cooking. Like, I just slop it on a plate. Who cares? No, exactly.

You're just eating. You've got to bring enough for everyone. So you're not just bringing something tiny. So I googled the origins of bring a plate. I thought it must have been British. Not at all. It is Australia and New Zealand specific. And it says here, post-World War II,

with food rationing and frugal habits still very common because we took a lot longer to like bounce back because we were smaller countries. It was to like limit how much you would bring. Bring a plate as in bring enough that will fit on a plate. Don't go overboard because we know times are tough. Yeah, right. So you just chip in, yeah, right.

Everybody brings a plate and because... And then there's enough. Yeah. Well, the final little bit of B.Y.O. etiquette and I think this is great. Don't, when you're there at dinner, drink other people's booze and then take yours home? we all know someone who does this who does that

who like hey I brought a bottle of wine pop it on the counter drink what's in the fridge and then when they leave be like oh we didn't open it take it hoink beer and wine get left behind yeah that's fair

that almost rhymes but spirits you can take home if you bring a bottle of spirits you take and take that home yeah but beer and wine stay behind stay behind yeah just leave it on fletchy's drinks trolley

yeah that's why I've got like so many unopened bod. That thing overflow it's okay you don't need any more drinks on your bloody drink trolley. Play ZM's Fletchbourne and Haley. Play ZM's Fletchbourne and Haley. From the Fletchbourne and Haley group chat, this is the Top Six.

Well, today's Top Six dealing with the story that's broken about an Australian company that used workers' laptops to record audio of them working from home. Far apart. Effectively spy devices. That's insane. To monitor if they were working from home. Because, you know,

So sometimes everybody, everyone was on by and off team of those little mouse jugglers. Oh, yeah, yeah. So it looked like the mouse was moving or something like Homer Simpson, this guy that works at a nuclear power plant, put one of those little birds that goes back and forward and it clicked on a button. That's right. He was the original working from home. He was.

Simpsons did predict everything. They really did. So they're saying it's a privacy breach, which it kind of is. They got unfiltered access to what's being said in the process. privacy of your own home? Yeah, so apparently Victorian police are looking into that. But here in New Zealand because of this happening, they've said, well, can this happen in New Zealand? And experts

say the crux of it is that an employee can monitor an employee working from home, but they have to be told about it. Yes, you have to, yeah, totally. It's like recording anyone. You have to be told. And how any collected data will be used. So if they didn't tell you a spokesperson for the officer of the Privacy Commission said it would be a criminal offence

if the employee... Oh, ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-mur criminals are... Yeah, and your boss would go to prison, your boss would go to prison. You'll get a bit of money out of it. Yeah. Well, I've got the top six things work would hear if they listen to me work from home.

Okay. Number six on the list. Nothing, because the laptop's shut and I ain't working. Feed up. Yeah, the laptop is in sleeping. mode you ain't hearing nothing bucko that laptop died a week ago yeah and i ain't plugging it in i'd be like hey born um it looks like you're doing no work i'd be like it looks

like i'm doing no work because i ain't doing no work number five on the list of the top six things work would hear if they listen to me work from home um the blender right next to the vacuum underneath the extractor fan and my laptop on as well let's see you hear me now oh yeah Drone them out Drone them out With the most intolerable Sounds that a household has My extract a fan above the stove top

It's loud Why they all are Mine's quite quiet Do you know Josh Emmett's stovetop Remember when Did you remember seeing that video Josh Emmett was cooking

And the fan came up Behind the bat And sucks it from the bottom That's my Rock Quest Band names album It sucks it from the bottom Sucks it from the bottom and long enough to reach both sides.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was, we didn't even make the original finals. No. Didn't even make the original finals. Number four on the list of the top six things work would hear if they listen to me working from home. Yeah, to be fair. I'm not even a shame to say. It's Netflix's most popular movie now.

Ever, ever. It'll be you earnestly trying to hit the notes. Oh, can you imagine what they heard of these poor workers' laptops? Because, you know, when you're just working from home, pretty talking to yourself as well. Yeah, farting. I talk to myself all the time. Being the most watched.

Did you see what was previously the most watched? Red notice. Weird, eh? Was it the red notice or red one or whatever? No, not the Santa one, the one with Gail Godot. Yeah, terrible. And the rock and

yeah, I never saw that. And Ryan Reynolds, I just couldn't believe that that was the most watched Netflix movie. Weird, eh. Number three on the list of the top six things work on here if they listen to me, work from home. The cat meowing like it has never been fed. Yeah, they do. You literally do, the bowl is full.

Number two on the list of the Top Sex Things Workwood here, if they listen to me, work from home. A mental breakdown. Yeah. Or two. Yeah. Or three. Or four.

A day. Yep. Just sort of a continual state. Sort of a spectrum of mental breakdowns. Like work, work. Yeah. And the number one thing, my work would hear if they heard me

working from home. Von Ellen. Why not? Why not? God, I felt I'm panicked there. Like my laptop was plugged in. You're like, ah, it's too loud, it's too loud. Today's top six.

Play. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Haley. Well, we sometimes say, well, we've heard. It's been bandied about that love is dead. and no one will be feeling that harder right now than Ned the snail. Now Ned the snail, named after Ned Flanders from the Simpsons. I was going to say, Flanders.

Okay. Why? He'll be haughtily d'adley, because he's left-handed. Remember Ned's whole thing was that he ran... Wait, are snails left-handed? Well, he's not left-handed, but he's left spiraled. So, which makes him very rare, meaning that Ned has a one in 40,000,

chance of finding a mate. He has to mate with another left-spirled snail because of the position of their reproductive organs. And most snails are right spiral. Yes, like, hugely so. That doesn't match. Did you even think, oh, because you can't... You couldn't have sex with it.

You can't boink into them because the shells in the way. Go in the wrong way. Sounds like a quitter's attitude to me. So all snails are... Sounds like if you were horny enough on a Friday night, you could make that work. Oh, you'd slip into a righty for sure. Do you know what I mean? So Ned, as all snails are, is a hermaphrodite,

meaning that they can make both sperm and eggs. I did not know this about snails. Yeah, so it doesn't need to find a lady snail because they're all, they have all the bits. Right. So any snail can mate with any snail? Well, unless you are left spiral. Very rare.

Good Lord, imagine you mate with anybody, but it's the spiral that throws it out. Yeah, I know. So there was a woman, excuse me, Giselle, she was weeding her garden and waded up in New Zealand. And she saw this snail and was like, oh, there you go. And then sort of noticed it looked a bit different to other snails, learnt that it was this super rare thing. And now it has gone global. CNN, Guardian, BBC, everyone is like, we have to find because he's not native to New Zealand.

So his soulmate, his left-spirled soulmate. Oh, hang on a sec. We can't have people bringing... He's not native to New Zealand. No. Then get some squat, get some of that quash on him. No, he's real. We can't have people bringing in snails from overseas.

Snows are a pain in the ass. Well, currently, for safety, he's in a goldfish bowl. I'm sure he's stoked about that. He's got in from the slime up the side though. Yeah, he can slime up the side. But he's quite content. He's quite happy. Other than the fact that he has a one in 40,000 chance of finding the love of his life.

If you see a snail in your garden and it's left spiraled, Spirled, get in touch. Get in touch. We'll connect you with Giselle and her left spiraled snail. Any left spiraled snail in the garden. Yeah. He's just a common garden snail. Regular old snail.

Yeah. I thought he was something special. I thought it was a native snail. Remember that snail catastrophe in New Zealand where those endangered, do they call them coldy snails? They were like a native snail. They were, something was happening in the area that they were native to and they collected them all and they put them in like a thing.

That's right. And then it had to be at a certain temperature because this was what they survived And on the way out Someone was like oh the air conditioning doesn't Like they did something and they thought they were turning down The air conditioning in the office And they turned down the snail enclosure to freezing

And then went home for the weekend And came back and they killed like They killed so many native snails I just want to show you a picture of lovely ned Oh you get quite a photogenic snail That's a different looking shell Really a pretty guy Okay, well, the be on the lockout.

Yeah, yeah, the spiral, yeah, yeah, yeah. Be on the lockout for any lift spiraled shells. Yeah. Play Z-M's Fletchbourne and Haley. Play ZM's Fletchbourne and Haley. Fletchporn and Haley. Silly little poe. It is so silly, silly, silly, silly, silly that a silly little poe, silly little poe, silly little poe, silly little poe, silly little pole.

Do you guys like poles? I love them. Do you like if they're a little bit silly? I like them silly. Do you like not too much? I like him little. Well, you're in the right place. I got a silly little pole for you.

This one's squatting an intense silly little pole. What's the best way to move on after a breakup? Yeah, I was reading an article about the idea of the no contact period. You know, often couples will break up and be like, we're not going to talk. Yeah. for this amount of time. Because if you're constantly in contact, it might be harder for one or both of you to move on.

So an expert said you can implement a 30, 60, 90 plan. It can help you decide how long you want no contact for. 30 days it takes to hard reset and break a habit. 60 days, emotions will then, at day 60, emotions will then hit. Healing starts. 90 days at this point, you could probably move on and if they were to contact you. You'd be all right?

Yeah. Probably because you've found some other hot people on Tinder by then. Day, well, yeah, by day 90. Day 90. I mean, it depends who's been broken up with and who's done. And what went wrong. There's so many different factors about it. And then there's like if you've got kids,

if, you know, you've got things to sort out on the breakup. Yes, so it's not effective. This person was saying if it's used as a manipulation. Yeah. And then if you've got a house together, it's the whole thing's not cut and dry. One shoe fits all. Yeah. Well, we asked you, what's the best way to move on?

Is that no contact, staying in constant contact, or a few messages here and there? If they dumped me, I'd be no contact. But if it was amicable, you'd just be no contact. Yeah, they'd be message, yeah, whatever. So the least common response was staying in constant contact, 1%. Oh, wow. 12% said a few messages here. They're 87% said no contact.

We're out. You're moving on. The decision's been made. Amber said, have sex once or twice after. Okay. You've got to have breakup sex, okay? It just hits different. Okay.

Wow. That's interesting. Okay. And then, um... I thought that's why we broke up because we weren't having it. Yeah, yeah. Now we have it? And then block them and go no contact and find yourself someone who treats you like a queen.

Okay. That's your method? Wait, she was having breakup sex with the person that wasn't treating her like a queen. Breakup sex hits different. Maybe because you have. not resolved to using it as fixing something or

wanting anything other than Yeah, physical. Maybe it's even powered by hate. Yeah. You ever had one of those? You ever had one of those? No, I don't think I have. Sounds hot. Rose said, I voted

staying in constant contact, but don't listen to me. I'm as toxic as they come. Far out. I mean, you know it, at least. You've identified yourself as toxic. Yeah. Lottie, no contact for sure, but then there is the inevitable online stalking. Oh, yeah, because you don't want them getting a hot girlfriend or boyfriend immediately. Feel free to get into a new relationship, but it has to be with a minger.

I'm sorry. Or I'm going to absolutely turn tossing. And even, you know what, even if they're a minger, it still hurts. Oh, yeah, God, yeah. I don't know. I've never broken up with anyone. Locked and loaded the first time I were in here 12 years later, said Danny. And then that smart, like, love face with hearts around it.

Well, give it another couple of years. Yeah. No, monogamies. Block them until you've healed, so you can't have a sneaky look, see that it'll probably make you spiral. It's actually great advice, Ashley. Yeah, good call. Well, that's sort of the 30, 60-90 thing.

Yeah. 30 days, break the habits, 60 days, start the healing process day 90. You're all good. You're all goods. You're all good. That's a Haley Sproul guarantee. You weren't dating each other to be friends. No need for any connection after breaking up.

Goodbye. Steff's a savage from Steph. We're called Steph, Steph the butcher. Yeah, just cuts them off Act like they died Grieve them like a death They don't exist in a new relationship either This is fight club rules

Wow I like that, savage it's good Gotta move on Gotta move on Dana said We stayed in contact too much at the start But staying in light contact for a few months after Was nice until naturally

The texting ended as we moved on with other people That's a taper Yeah A friendly taper Went no contact with the ex after he called off the wedding and the truth came out, he spent most of our life savings. So, no. I kind of want that.

I do lawyer contact. Yeah, yeah, I do legal contact only. Nicky, I split from my ex a few months ago, wishing I was no contact, but I'm too much of a people pleaser and don't want to hurt his feelings in the short time by enforcing the no contact guidelines. Might be time to set myself some personal breakup KPIs to go along with my personal recession. Yeah. Now, there's a listener.

Hitting all there. Hit it all there. Show points. She feels like a genuine friend. Ash said, because it feels like closure, otherwise, it just keeps... Fruit fly. It just keeps opening cans of worms. So no contact there is what they're voting for.

Well, today's silly little poll was what's the best way to move on from a breakup? And 87% of you, hugely overwhelming majority, said no contact. Play Z-M's Fletchhorn and Haley. And we welcome finally Herman the German in studio, our life-size ceramic. German Shepherd dog The whole studio There's German flags everywhere There's red, black, yellow balloons

We're in our ladder hosen? We're in our ladder hosso I'm excited I'm excited I'm excited to see the broken foot I'm We also need to address something else That I've noticed

Anyway, I'm so excited I like I'm like sort of I got all excited about the costumes And the decorations Yeah And then Now I can't wait to meet him Anyway

Louis Capold you may remember in 2023 did Glastonbury and he was unable to finish his set because of his Tourette's syndrome had a big, you know, struggle with it. Anxiety, right? Anxiety, everything. And so it was a beautiful moment really

because the audience sung the words for him and he was overwhelmed, you know. And then after that he took a huge break from music and we were like, you know, is he going to come back? And he cancelled his, he was going to come to New Zealand, right? And then he cancelled that. Cancelled it all and just was like, I clearly need a break. And I think everyone understood, right?

Everyone was in support, for sure. And then a lot of people were coming out saying that they had, you know, reached out to him during this time. And, well, he's just done a podcast where he revealed that maybe that wasn't quite true. I got a phone call from Mel and John. He was like, oh, it was a great idea

to take a break and stuff at that. Yeah, Nile Horn, obviously. I'm in, like, group chats with Nile and stuff, so I speak to him quite a lot. But yeah, there were some people that said that they checked out on me who did not check that. Really?

I can't name it. They're trying to claim it. That was bizarre. God, I love that accent, I. Okay, so celebrities came out and, like, or tweeted or posted. Like, sending love to Lewis. I've checked in with him and, you know, sent him my love. Why would you do that?

Why would you do that? I love, so he hasn't named anyone, but I love that he called out the behavior. Also, surely that's easy for people to check, right? Yeah. So he said Alton John was the first one right Like the first guy the day after Glastonbury Who called him and he said he was really surprised Because he knew that Alton had his email

But not his number Yeah And said I this is really good You need to take a break And you know like you've done the right thing Saying yeah pulling out of everything And then Nile Horanbaugh Oh my God this is like

I want to know these celebrities now It's so bad But obviously he's such a sweet man He doesn't want to call Like he's the most probably like drama free guy Yeah he's calling out The behaviour, but not the individual. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But how cheeky is that? I know. You see so much of that performative... Yes, care. Yeah. Yeah. You're like, he doesn't feel like you're doing it for the right reasons. Yeah, totally.

And to say it publicly. And just not care. Who said they checked in on... Lewis Capaldi. Surely someone after this... There's got to be some... Someone's done the hard, you know, yards already to... get the list of people who publicly said they'd checked in on it.

Some churno. They see several. Several. I wouldn't know who they are. Surely they're not like big celebs. They're more like, I don't know, reality TV. Yeah, yeah, I don't know. That's wild behaviour.

And then, of course, Lewis Coppola, he's back, he's got news music, and he did Glastonbury again, and it was a full circle moment. But that is just so, as you say, performative. Yeah. And how, like, disgusting. Play ZM's Fletchbourne and Haley. We've heard of shrink. Flation. We've heard of inflation.

Yeah, all the chocolate and all that. Shrinkflation. That we're paying the same price for stuff, but we're getting less for it. Now there's friendflation, which is a new term describing the rising financial burden of maintaining friendships. It's like when you go away with Haley

and she still owes you for a couple of dinners and some drinks around. I actually shut on him breakfast yesterday to try to balance that out. And I drove you to the airport and I paid for the bar. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. Hey, we're not going to start a point. We're not going to have a fight here. Actually, you know what? A couple of weeks ago, we went for beers,

and Vaughn still hasn't paid for a round. We haven't been for bears again. I haven't had the opportunity. Oh, that's right. That's friendflation. That's friendflation. I can't keep up with. I can't keep shouting Vaughn beers. He's not going to buy me a beer.

I'll buy you beer. No, I think we're all good friends because we don't. Happy hour and a house. Yeah. Happy hour and a tap. Not a good at us. A $10. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

We'll just go whatever. Yeah. You know Al French, it's a washing machine. it all comes out on the wash I don't, yeah, I don't tend to bother about that kind of stuff. No, no, no, no, no, neither. But it's, you know, but it's probably your turn next time. It's

my turn next time, too. It's my turn next time. It's my turn next time. House beer is no cop-house. Yeah, and we were there at 45. They've got some sort of deal. Gen Zian millennials are the ones who are feeling the financial strain of maintaining friendships, even shrinking their

friendship groups to try to prioritize the friendships that they are happy to spend money on. Right and going, like, I cannot actually maintain this size of social circle because catching up with everyone's costing all this money all of the time, dinners, trips, brunches, birthdays, weddings, other social events and then these costs are rising faster than people's income so they're just going, it's friendflation, I can't keep up.

But then also you don't catch-ups are the best ones. And also you don't need to be spending lots of money and doing. You can do stuff on the cheap. I know, a lot of people. Like, it's like, we know that real friendship isn't about how much money you spend when you're together. But it's like sometimes, you know, you do end up going, oh, should we grab a drink?

And that puts, you don't know how much pressure that might be putting on someone. On someone, yeah. When you're going, oh, yeah, oh. Especially if you weren't more than someone else or everyone's earning different amounts. Especially when you go, if you were to say, hey, let's catch up for a drink, I'll meet you at this bar and you're going to have two glasses of wine, you could get a, you could split a bottle from the supermarket at home. Totally.

Or in a public park. In a park bench. Sometimes that's frowned upon. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. And save money on cups, just neck from the bottle. Pass that back and forth. Sure.

Yeah, and don't split a pack of douries either. Do you know what I mean? And then we've got a cheap little park hangout. Yeah. Well, I get it. We just sit in a park hangout, eh? How could it? We just sit in a park and talk, okay.

Do you know, the problem is New Zealand is like we just get too drunk. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Go overseas, people congregate and drink in parks. Have a picnic. And it's a lovely little drink. Oh, I know. New Zealanders, we can't just have a couple of drinks in the local park. No, no, because they'll go, I'll roll out to the pub.

So three ways to tackle friendflation. Plan ahead if you've got big events so people can budget for it and decide earlier on whether or not they're going to be able to make it. Embrace low-cost options like rotating, hosting potlucks, which we talked about earlier, game nights and card nights. and focus on quality time over expensive outings. Yeah, nice. Or, should we go to Europe?

Just afterpay it. Should we go to Europe? Who cares? We're going to Venice, darling. We'll come and dare a boat. Play ZM's Fletchbourne and Haley. Play ZM's Fletchbourne and Haley. Right now, though, we want to talk about the things

that you're always embarrassed to buy. Yeah, because yesterday we went for a little coffee, scooted down to get a coffee fee. and bumped into a friend who, and we were like, don't be embarrassed, but was really embarrassed that he had just popped out of work to go get a McMuffin. And he just, you know, when you get one burger, you get that little baggy from McDonald's,

a small slim bag. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And just a little McMuffin. And he, when we ran into him, he's kind of one hand in the bag about to pull it out and then saw us. And then he saw us and was like, and then he was embarrassed.

Like, I wouldn't be embarrassed. Like, we were just going to a cafe to, you know, eat something. Like, yeah. And also, he saw us. more caloric than a McMuffin and yum. But he was like, oh my God, I'm caught, I'm caught, fine, you caught me. I've left the office to go and get a McMuffin.

Is he a bit of a health bug or something? Like, you know, like, Mr. Clean Freak. Yeah, I don't know. I think maybe he just thought it was funny. He's a very, like, professional man. Right. Who was just, like, popped out of the office to get a McMuffin. And we're just like, oh, don't worry about it.

He was so embarrassed. It's so embarrassed. But there are things that people get embarrassed buying. Absolutely. Mine was always pregnancy tests. And I don't know why. You should be able to walk up there and be like, I need to know. Loub?

Loob? Loob's an embarrassing, buy. The, you know, the popularity of self-serve checkouts now in the last 10 years as a lifesaver at the supermarket. I know, but you know what, you can't buy it at self-checkout? Right, right. Communication. Right.

You know? Oh, you've got to go to pharmacy. Oral or vaginal. They're very, they're very discreet at Pennis Warehouse show sponsor. They are. Pop in and get your thrush medication today. I don't have a price on that. No.

It's not too expensive Price check Price check on Vagicil Rall 3 Yeah but maybe there are Those things that you are Yeah You get embarrassed to buy

Maybe it's a food item or a A mini-gation From We're hands We asked this on Instagram Let's get the ball rolling here Allie Allie hitting

Close to whom Aene Bing hooties and T-shirts I'm so embarrassed That I paid so much money For a terrible quality out Wait, see, but you'll still wear it around? I don't know. Maybe she didn't. Maybe she's not. Oh, right. And that makes it even worse.

When you think it's a cook and you get it home and you're like, wow, it really just says a name bing, doesn't it? Yeah, yeah. A. S color does he saw it's 2 for 80. That's right. We were going to make our own pinini bings. Panini bings with a pinnini press in the middle. Yeah. Panini bing. Pistachios. I learned how much water it takes to grow pistachios. It's caused huge issues in the U.S. And I get really embarrassed every time

because I love them so much that I have to think about their water footprint. You're like trying to hide that you've just bought a fresh roll of Gladrap, you know? Oh yeah, yeah. What's that? Nothing? Nothing. What's that in your bag?

Chloe Swarbrick. 50 metres of Gladraud. It's like Gladrax. Industrial length too. Takes up the whole drawer. Asha said a $400 Saban handbag that sits in my drawer in its dust bag because I'm too scared to use it.

I'm embarrassed that I... Just get out there. I don't think we would get messages from people who bought really expensive things and they're embarrassed. You feel embarrassed. Like, that's crazy. I love it. Victoria bought a Pilates reformer machine

so she could do it at home, but still goes to Pilates classes for $58 a week. I'm embarrassed that I purchased the... What are you doing? No, do it at home. And Sam said absolutely nothing. I deserve everything. Oh!

That's a great approach to me. So this is Morgan Penn's thing, sexologist Morgan Penn. ice of sex. Life, listen to it on the I Heart Radio app. Wherever you go. Sorry. Her thing is buying toilet paper. She gets so embarrassed.

Someone's just texted in. Yes. At the end of the supermarket sits on this big display and you're leaving, being like, I'm going to wipe my penis with us. I know, I sometimes sit, because I'll walk home with a big long roll of eight, and I'll be like, oh my God, everyone's going to know now that I poo. And then I'm like, no, but everybody poos. Everybody poos.

Sometimes. My mum has not suffered this at all We went Costco with her for the first time And she was like, look what I found out 72 rolls of toilet paper And she's like, it is so cheap I love it, she's like, man, we're going to use this Buy you a sheep! Okay, 0800 dials at em, we want you to call us now, add to the list,

you can text it, 9-696. What do you always feel embarrassed to buy? We want to know what you're embarrassed to be to buy. Yeah, because we bumped into a friend. friend yesterday who was so mortified, we caught him in the middle of buying a McMuffin. You have your McMuff, babe. Beautiful.

Sausage, egg. Yum. Got it all. It's got it all. It's a rounded breakfast. I love this. A lot of women still embarrassed buying tampons.

Really? Really? It used to be really. When I was young, yeah, that thing would be like, oh, I'm on tampon. Now I'm like, I've never as a... Who's got a tampon? A male that buy, has purchased tampons for a woman.

It doesn't even register as an embarrassment. the morning after pill a few people have said the morning after pill you have to go into a pharmacy and you're like guess who guess who roared off

who's roared dog for hours we've got some regret here and on aisle 4 Sarah good morning what are you what are you embarrassed to buy so

I got a tattoo a couple years ago and if you know if you got a tattoo you have to get some Vaseline for helping with the healing process

so I had to to go to the supermarket and get some Vaseline but I was also on a house craze and I had run out of carrots so in the same shop I was buying Vaseline and carrots Oh you didn't think about that one did you

I would have done two trips It was a bit awkward Yeah I would have done two trips I would have just like looped around Drop the bass off at the car Yeah yeah yeah yeah I would have gone two different supermarkets I would have done that out

I would have won the staff putting that together at all Yeah you didn't think about that one did you Oh No this was before the South Serb checkout, so it was definitely with a person, yeah, going down the checkout. I love the combos. I've definitely bought a bottle of wine and a pregnancy test at the same time. Shane, what were you embarrassed buying?

RTDs. Oh, okay. It is so embarrassing buying RTDs as a 45-year-old. Oh, okay. Wait a minute, what RTDs are we buying? If you say mudshakes, I come from the glory days of RTDs. Your tattoos. Yeah.

Gowaners. Yeah, but the glory days of RTDs are a long time ago. Shane, stop the bullshit. Tell me what RTDs you're buying on the regular. Are you a Raspberry cruising guy, Shane? Well, no, it's a smyrn off black now because. Oh, Shane, that's trash. I drank that at 16.

Easier to dance. Easier to dance. Shane, we need it. We need to have a whiskey weekend. You need to be more refined now, Shave. No, you don't. Yeah. The smirn off blacks go straight to the legs.

I'll grow up. Nah. I mean, you don't need to grow up, but you do need to stop drinking snow off black. I love that, Shane. Thank you. Ask the message is in. As a 35-year-old mother,

I'm mortified buying vape pods. Oh, yeah. And actually refuse to step foot in those overly lightly lit vape stores that seem to be popping up everywhere in case someone sees me. I don't even vape in public or in front of my kids. It's my absolute, you know, secret shame.

Yeah, I wonder how many people secretly vape. Oh, my. first experience buying tiva pads, you know, for some light bladder leakage, for some new leakage yesterday along with my UTI test, FML. And the lady next to me in the aisle was so embarrassed to be looking at the same thing. So we just avoided eye contact for her sake. Oh dear. Thrush cream. Yeah. Someone said I get super embarrassed when my partner asked me to pick up smokes on the way home. Firstly, because of the price. And secondly, I don't smoke. And I feel like people look at me like I'm some sort of swine. And then the person on the till always talks about how

expensive smokes are and I'm just like it's not for me. Yep. Keep your team's coming in, 9-696. There are so many messages coming up. I'm going to run through some real quick. Chocolate because I'm fat. I always feel like I'm getting judged. Toilipaper

because it's always in the last aisle at the supermarket so it sits on top of the trolley so everyone's like, wow, they're really prioritising their loo paper. Just remember, everybody poos sometimes. No, it's always, who should probably say always. Ideally, once a day at least.

Hemmy cream? Heming cream's popped up. Oh no. I wouldn't have to weigh toilet paper and lax it at the same time, hot girl tummy issues. Me and my girls are big fans of the show listening you guys every day when I'm driving them to school and they're going to hate this, but I get embarrassed when I'm buying sanitary pads

and now they're going to be embarrassed by hearing about my embarrassment of sanitary pads. Oh, mom, shame! Shame! 43 still get embarrassed buying tampons toilet air freshener because everybody poos Sometimes

How dare it stinks a day How dare it stink How dare it stink? So many people have been like Oh yes The shame of having a look of pharmacist In the eye and say I had unprotected sex this

Oh Someone says they get really embarrassed Buying beers for their partner On the way home Because they're clearly pregnant Oh So like going on the big belly Buys

Yeah There's literally a picture of you On the side of the can Yeah, yeah, yeah. Teachers get embarrassed, grocery shopping. If you run into a school family, they scrutinize what's in your basket. God help, you don't have anything in there that doesn't scream pure health consciousness because we have to teach their kids about the phone period.

I bet it's the same for trainers, gym trainers, because I've seen a gym trainer and I looked in their basket. I was like a lot of chocolate in there. Solo mom of two, always embarrassed when I buy wine amongst the kids' snacks because it's like chippies, Dunkin' Dona, Dunkeroo's and then a bottle of mum's favorite block. Condom, someone says. Why does it feel condoms? Why does it feel illegal? It is embarrassing, eh?

Being like... And they're so expensive, eh? I'm preparing to have protected safe sex. Grapefruit. I'm always scared they know what I'm really using them for. Now, I did message that person back, 226. Saying... What are you doing?

The grapefruit video. What's the grapefruit video? Hum-lum-lum-nom-num. Oh, there's a few... The famous one of that woman... Right, yeah. I'll show you later. And definitely not on the work Wi-Fi.

Oh, okay. Vermox. Sorry, guys, I just live a sheltered life. You do, you're so innocent. He is a sweet sweet boy. He uses this grape fruit cut in half with a little sprinkle of brown sugar on top of breakfast. Reduce them. For great vitamin C.

Vermox, I get that. That's the worming stuff. You have to go in and be like, one of the kids has got a bloody itchy bum. It's worse. Oh, no. Do you're some of them chewy chocolates? It feels like you're raising like really grubby little buggers. Pregnancy tests.

At 39, I'm single. The staff don't know that. So I'm unsure why I feel. Big Sandy's text in. Oh, go on. What a big sand. Bought a butt pluck. A bit embarrassing. Cheers. Always great to hear from Big Sandy.

Is it? Is it? It is. I get embarrassed. Oh my God. I get embarrassed ordering my husband's coffee. A decaf soy mokker. Oh! I'd refuse. I'd refuse. And anyone divorce him. Play Z.M.'s Fletchhorn and Haley.

Oh my god We're all in our letter hosen Yeah There's a lot of boobies for the girls I will say It's a very tith heavy show Yeah Says more boobies

Around than your short I think that these Shout out to first scene For our costumes But yeah Definitely more sort of A sexy vibe Yeah you look like

You should be working Behind a bar at a beer fest Do you guys need some more Steins Now this American German Bar Tart This happened a few weeks ago. You found a listing on Trade Me.

Trade Me knows my soul. I spent a lot of time on Trade Me. And you know, it sometimes will say, like, recommended for you. And it's always the weirdest crap with me. And then I saw Life Size Ceramic German Shepherd. And I thought, I simply must have it. I floated the idea with you guys. You sort of were like, that's really cool.

You didn't want to pay for it yourself. Yeah, so then I thought, why don't we get him for the studio as sort of a show mascot? and Ross said no. And then, so when I had the company credit card for something else, I bought it. And he just kind of, I guess he's been forced to love it. He has been forced to love it. Well, we have had two weeks fairly solid content out of it. Yeah.

And he's got time to reconcile that spending. Yeah. However he does it in the budget. Yeah. Who knows? But so many of our listeners have become deeply invested in the journey because the big problem being, of course, that he was in Christchurch and where it all, So he travelled from Christch because we bought him in Christchurch.

He was picked up by our local ZDM team. He went from Christchurch to Picton with Stevie. He stayed in Picton at Toasty Lords. Thanks to Taylor for helping us here. Bluebridge got him over to Wellington. He got... Very special treatment. His own cabin.

He went from Wellington to Parmy with Matt. He went from Palmie to Hawks Bay with Aaron. Where he did lose a foot. and going into a McDonald's. Yeah. The lady opened the door. The lady opened the door on him and broke his lock. It was turning him into a three-legged dog.

Yes. He spent the weekend in Hawks Bay with the mayor, Kirsten Wise, and Judy at the airport. Dame Judy drenched the fire truck. A show crossover. He then went from Hawks Bay to Topol with Tracy and spent the day... With the accountants at DPA. And it became a senior partner, I think.

That's right, on the website. He then went from Topal to Hamilton with Steve. Yep. And spent the weekend in Hamilton with Haley before being driven up by Tracy from Hamilton to Auckland where he is now in reception. Are we ready? Now, Vaughn, we've made a spirit tunnel.

People from the office have come in to make a tunnel. And I believe if you wedge open the door as well, please, Vaughn, for his arrival into the studio. Haley. We're going to give him the music of his people because he is German, of course. I've got some confetti cannons ready as well, I believe. Let's not concentrate too much on the left.

I don't know why. What's wrong with his legs? No, no, you're my little skinny legs. Oh, your skinny little chicken legs. And you're Latterhosen, darling. You look so good. I'm seeing, I see him first in person. Are we ready?

Yeah, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, Jesus. Okay, here's. Okay, let's go. Welcome, welcome, welcome, bacon, bacon, bacon. Here we are we are. Thank you, Malcolm, Malcolm, Malcolm, Malcolm.

He's a job! Oh my gosh! He's beautiful. Oh, wow. He really is life-size. Oh, my God. What did we put our listeners through, getting this massive thing?

He is so huge. Why does he remind me of Scooby-Doo? Is it the collar? It's the blue collar. Yeah, I think it's the blue collar. Oh, my God. The whole time he's had an ample air tag so he could trace our boy, Hi!

Oh, that's so good. I love him. Even, I do see, like, he's sitting like a proud dog who lost a leg in service. You know, like he was a bomb dog or something. He raided a gang pad and got a machete in his leg and he lost his leg, but he's still proud to serve. Yeah, and I love his tongue is sticking out like it's floppy over his mouth. But it's so good, yeah. Hello, Herman.

Welcome home. This, he is everything I wanted and more. And the idea that I didn't have him I mean, $1,200, a steal. A steal. I mean, you've got a bargain. I mean, do we crazy?

But there's a black panther. The guy, the antique dealer, had a panther as well. Oh my God, Herman, welcome. Well, thank you to everybody that helped get Herman home. And everyone who, like, there were so many people that wanted to help.

But we, you know, like, with so many hands but people have been so invested and he is home and he will sit pride of the photos and videos like him at Hamilton Gardens him on the Blue Bridge like just the whole journey so people have taken him out to like

dog parks and showing him around the people that spent time on them as he travelled up the country made it yeah they really did absolutely made it it would genuinely have been days we've felt very moved but yeah I've seen that too Oh, what?

Well, we know about his three legs. Oh, no, when did that happen? Carwin, producer, can we just also take a moment to cut the music? Cut the music. They're not happier but sustained to that dog! Producer Carwin and producer Shannon, you two have been amazing over this whole journey, getting it all together. Good and tough.

Trying on Salada Holson, you know, to make sure that boobies will. fit in, which they barely do, but... You're welcome. Have you received... We know the correspondence that we had about the lost leg. Yes, yeah. And I've had a lot of correspondence with Alice like a lot. Have you received

any correspondence about another minor accident? Look, we might look, we might have to go to a song and come back about that. I've just caught. It seems to be... It seems to be a missing part. Okay. I know nothing. I see nothing.

There's a bit missing from Herman. We're going to discuss this next. ZM. Play ZM's Fletch, Worn and Haley. Play ZM's Fletchworn and Haley. Fletch Worn and Haley are bringing Herman home. Oh, it's magical. He's finally in studio, our life-size German Shepherd ceramic.

Genuinely majestic. Oh, my, it's incredible, isn't it? He's just looking. We were just discussing how the hell you'd make this. Oh, I know. And I said you'd get. dead one and just in rigamortis it would just

and then you'd use that to make a plaster cast and then you'd look I don't know Can we also shout out the fact that Herman is packing Herman the German The Germans and the Dutch

He's got a real We call him the three-legged dog But I don't know He's a fourth I think we don't get the leg fixed Because the bandage is cute Looks so funny. And he's really, he's been on a journey, but the leg we knew about, he's just come in

and obviously we're related and immediately in love and there's no regerts. But I've just clocked on his right front leg, the leg that remained after his brutal accident at McDonald's, he has a, he's lost a toe. He's lost a toenail. Okay. Are you okay, Herman? Now, we've done a little look over the photos. producer Shannon

You've been paying close attention to the photos from when he started in Christchurch All toenails intact up to where? Oh well you know I love true crime So I have been mapping this out extensively And I have noticed that between two of the exhibits At Hamilton Garden during his photo shoot Great Garden

Okay let me just look here Hamilton That was Haley I believe Okay carry on Yes there is a toenail in one photo In front of a wheelbarrow and then as he headed to the more Alice in Wonderland part of the Hamilton Gardens, he lost a toe now. Oh, so it's at heaven at the garden.

It happened at the gardens. Right, I've just got, I've managed to call through to Haley, I believe. Haley, good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Now, Haley. Now, Haley. Now, listen, Haley, we're not mad, we're just disappointed.

Oh, I know, me too. Me too. What happened? Okay. Look, I had great help with so many people with him And because, I mean, look how big he is He's huge! He's a big guy, I'm usually big boy.

Big boy to life-starved. And so my good friend's Kat, she's listening right now And she will be swearing at me. She helped me for one second And there was an incident. Okay, so far as an incident. Were you doping that we were going to not notice this, Kat? Hailey.

unfortunately yeah it was obvious we have very keen sense of position we notice everything we hear everything so how did the toenail chip off Haley I think he was just put down a little bit too rough I mean I had him in some precarious situations and he was safe

yeah I'm surprised more than we didn't get more than a broken leg in a chip nail to be honest the amount of you know handling hand man man handling that happened. It's okay, Haley. We forgive you because he actually just has so much character and it's part of his journey, his brutal journey

you know. And also... It's been a blast. Yeah, thank you so much, Haley. Thank you for taking him around the Hamilton Gardens as well. It's a treat. Oh, it's a treat. Oh, I love the gardens. Yeah. Are you local? Do you have to pay because

Jim Herman is from Germany? I'm from Cambridge, so I did have to shout him a trip. Yeah. I really appreciate it. It was fine. I didn't give me a freebie, unfortunately. Okay. Well, thank you so much. They should have for the free tourism.

Yeah. Great boost for tourism. We've actually put headphones and a microphone on Herman if he wanted to say anything because he feels alive to me. He doesn't. He doesn't. Herman? It's okay. Herman?

He's just a good boy. You're being crazy. He's a good boy. Where's he going to sit in the studio, just in the corner? Pride of place. In the corner. I mean, right now he's up on a desk and I'm almost, you know, loving that. No, I think next to Princess Diana.

Cheers to Lady Night Is she as want to do She is what to do She has a guide dog now Play ZDM's Fleshfallen and Haley Fact of the day Day day day day day Yeah

Do do do do do do do do Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do That was her in the German joining in Oh it's lovely to happen Yeah It's cheese work in fact of that Let her have her father Like her imaginary friends

How did that go? You are just Such an awful person You grouchy Today's a cheese fact Is about Katsu Matsu Now have we spoken about The fact they've already done a cheese

Somebody said their daughter said yesterday That we've done a cheese week Have I done a whole week on cheese Or has there been cheese facts I mean it's quite I don't remember it But I'm never upset to like talk about cheese more And these are all new facts

Yeah, okay. Because, as you know, I've been loving a Havati recently. I actually bought a fresh block yesterday. Oh, lovely. Sweet and nutty. Lovely, darling. Well, today's Karzumatsu is the Sardinian cheese. Oh, Sardinia.

Beautiful. Gorgeous. Anybody speak Italian enough to know what Kartzumatsu means? Bonjour, no. See, see, gratsy. It literally translates to the rotten cheese. Oh. Or, as it's known internationally, the maggot cheese.

Yeah. Let me tell you about the maggot cheese. Stars with the wheel of pecorino which is a 100% sheep's milk cheese Okay I like pecorino That's a yeah it's sheep's milk One of the oldest cheeses

Apparently he also issued to the Roman soldiers For their daily rations It's very old cheese Must be nice Must be nice Do you think they had a little lunchbox Yeah You did have a little lunchbox

They had a cracker and some sort of salami With it as well an arrella Sack or a lunch bladder Oh my God and they had Roman sandals It's just like being at school. It's just like being at school. Except you knife people. They cut open the rind of the cheese.

Just like being at some schools. Sorry, Vaughn, carry on. Well, I don't need to continue if you're going to. All right, Mum, at Christmas. Oh, you can't say anything. Well, if you do, we're just going to twalk all over them. Oh, just sit here. No, I'll stop.

I'll just go do the dishes. No one's going to help me in here. The rind's cut open and the cheese skipper fly is allowed to lay eggs inside. Yuck. Vaughn, why are you doing this? Because I want to really try this cheese. The maggots hatch and burrow through the cheese, they digest the fats in the cheese. You know, an earthworm goes through the earth and num, num, num, num, poops it out and it's better soil.

Sure. Effectively, this is what the maggot is doing inside the cheese. It makes the texture soft and creamy. It's pooping out better cheese. Yeah, it's pooping out better cheese. And makes it almost spritable, like creamy and spreadable. And intensifies the flavor to a fiery, pungent level. You can eat your maggot poo cheese, but I'll just stick with my tasty slices.

Yeah, I'm a cheese dail. Traditionally, it's eating with the live larvae still wriggling. Sort of like the tequila world. Oh, I'm sorry, Vaughan. No one's eating this cheese. Some diners remove them, but purercee maggots are part of the experience. Here's the problem. It's technically illegal in the EU because it doesn't meet the EU's intense food.

Safety regulations, yet Sardinians have kept the tradition going. There is a black market thriving with the maggot cheese. Ooh, yuck. Yeah, so it does come with a warning when you're eating it because the larvae are called skippers. They were called the cheese. skip or fly because they have an unusual trick. Their defense mechanism is that they have a joint in the middle of their body that they flick and it clicks and it means they can shoot up.

So if you're eating a piece of cheese with the traditional live magnet inside it, it could shoot out and hit you in the eye. Okay. Yeah. And that's why they call the cheese skipper fly. Still a no for me. Still a giant no. You wouldn't try it just to try?

We ate bugs in Cambodia. They were deep fried crickets. They were deep fried crickets. We used to, when we would do firewood in the summer, we'd be cutting up the tree and we'd find all the hoo-hoo grubs of the day and we'd collect them in an ice cream container. Then at the end of the day, on the hot part of the tractor engine, we'd put the hoo-hoo grubs and cook them and eat them.

And it was like, this really yum, nutty flavor of who. I'm not doing myself any favours here. I would. I would 100% eat this maggot cheese. You would. Megats in. I love a food experience. You would.

You're a rural Waikato lad. You would. Just eat that maggot cheese. spice in your life. Eat that maggotty cheese was actually the lead single of my Rockwest band. Yeah, great. Right, good. It had a few minutes.

Okay. So today's fact of the day is Kartumatsu, as a traditional sardinian cheese, laced with maggots that make it soft and creamy. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Do, do, do, do, do, do do do to do, do do to do. Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. Play ZDEM's Fletchhorn and Haley. Now, it was 2014.

11 years ago. In fact, it was, it was September 2014, so it was 11 years ago that the nation lost their goddamn collective minds. Why? For a collaboration between Lewis Road, Cremory and Whitaker's. For the Lewis Road Creemery, Whitaker's truck, milk. Yeah.

That's right. People were, like, storming the delivery trucks and stuff. Yes. They got well out of hand. They had to, um, get armed guns. on the deliverer, on the milk trucks. And they did, they did limits, say, like one or two or whatever. And people were lining up.

And there was a chocolate milk riots. Yeah. The Queen Street went off. Our version of the Troubles. Yeah, yeah. Which was Sunday. Chocolate is Sunday. It was because the All Blacks were playing the Springbox.

Is that right? Something to do with that? Yeah, something, I think something to do with that. We might be getting our historical riots confused. Okay, yeah, right. Well, either way, people were going nuts. Yeah. Did Martin Luther King give a speech?

I can't remember, yeah, yeah, yeah. Huge fan of the chocolate. Because of the chocolate milk. Yep. I have a dream that white chocolate and dark chocolate can play together in harmony. And appropriate. So, I don't know if this is going to cause quite the fuss because I find lime milk the most controversial flavored milk. You just did Martin Luther King impersonation in a German alpha.

Talking about chocolate milk. Okay, anyway, there's a lot of problems here. There's a lot going on. We're losing our mind. Start a shopping list and we'll sort it out. Yeah, yeah. Did you say losing? What?

I lost mine. Moons ago. Lewis Road, lime milk. No. We did a cookie little poll. So it's out today? It's coming out today's the release date. Do you like lime-flavored milk?

No. Citrus milk is so. No. You would never drink orange milk. No. That's insane. Carwin's not happy. What about a Jaffa?

Like a Jaffa. You'd have orange chocky milk. Yeah, but no. No, no. Lime. Lime all the way. Would you drink lemon milk? I'll give it a go.

Is there still a primo lime? Do they still do milk? Yeah, maybe. That's what I mean. It would be yum. Didn't Maccas used to do a lime milkshake? Yum. The shame rock shake.

Banana, the Lewis wrote bananas. Oh. Oh, oh, oh. So good. But banana and milk makes sense. Strawberry milk. I'll raise you a pinacalata. Pineapple.

Calata. Well, I was just being silly. A pinacalata. You know, you'll be. It is... It's acidic, yeah, it's acidic. And that works so... I don't like pineapple-flavored milk.

No. Or milky, I don't like milky... And it's got coconut in it, that makes it... It's coconut milk, isn't it? Coconut milk. So it kind of balances out, doesn't it? But yeah, okay. No, I just want to pinacalata.

I just reckon... Don't kick it to you try it because I think you're going to change your mind. I mean, it's going to be sweet and delicious, right? Exactly. Yeah, 71% of people surveyed said, ooh no to lime-flavored milk. Really? Yeah, it's coming in fresh for us, too.

No, no, no, no, no. It's a no. It's a no. It's a no for that. Lime milk is hands down my absolute favorite. I'm excited for this, sis, somebody. Okay. Lime milk has absolutely no place in the human food chain.

That's fair, it's fair enough. Neither is like 80 or 90% of stuff at supermarkets, but it's there. No, it's still there. It's still there. No, I could do a lime, like, oh no, I'm thinking peppermint. No, no, no, not lime in anything. No. Lime in, like.

Margarita. Mm-hmm. Key lime. Key lime pie. Well, that's a creamy lime. That's a creamy lime. Yeah, you have. That's a creamy lime.

It's a cheesy lime. Yeah. It's not milk. Okay, so more text in. People with feedback. Also, a yes for me. Oh, get, excuse my language. Warren, please watch yourself.

Please watch yourself, okay? Yeah, but you hear out the rest of this and try to bite your tongue before it drops the F bomb. It's a yes for me. Also, Midori and milk is like an R-18 lime milk even though it's melon flavor. Oh, yuck. No, that outranked maggot cheese is the grossest thing that's been said on the show today. Someone said, what about lime milkshakes? They're amazing.

Longest drink in town, lime milkshake, yum. No, you're in a minority. Someone said lime is my second or third flavor of milkshake. First is vanilla. When I'll say get a personality. What? First is vanilla. That's nobody's first choice of milkshake. Vanilla is the base.

Yeah, that's the base of the milkshake. Yeah. And then you add to the vanilla chocolate. Flavor, character. Anything. Banana. No, no, no, no, no. Play ZM, Fletch, Vaughn and Haley.

It's got this to be one of my favourite shows of the year. I just want to say. I can't believe it's just about clock out. We're just about the clock out. George is in. I could stay. George's show's coming up soon. How do you like Herman the German?

So cute guys. I reckon you don't fix his leg, though. I reckon that's the way you keep him. No, the text machine's quite divided, eh? A lot of people have been like, no, repair him, you know, like put in, do a bit of a repair shop. You would like that, Vaughn. You love that show, the repair shop.

Yeah, have you heard their con. controversy involved with the horse? Let's not. Let's not. Tell me after because I love the show. Oh, well. Prepare to have your world rock. Someone's in court, Georgia. Anyway. Terrible things. Um, yeah, I think we could get him fixed. Maybe not. Maybe not. I don't think so. I vote no. Yesterday, it's Father's Day on Sunday and yesterday I introduced my father to something new.

R.M. Williams contacted me and said, George, you should see them. Oh, she's upset. And said... Well, you know how Georgia loves R.M. Williams. and your dad like a pair of R.M. Williams each. I'll be your dad. Oh, Georgia, you can't say that. H.A. Yeah.

I will be your head. George had told me she'd be my daddy. Weird. Okay, we're going to need a roundtable with all involved and some witnesses. And they said, would you and your dad like a pair of R.M. Williams? Well, snap some pickies. You share it on the ground. I was like, you, absolutely.

So I ran this past Ian and he's like, that's my father's name, if you're new to the show. Ian Smith, not the cricketer. No. No. I had an uncle called Paul Holmes, too, not the broadcaster. Just a family of just generic names. Generic names without somebody. Generic common names.

Yeah. And my other uncle, Jimmy Saville. But anyway. Wow. He changed his name. So I said to Dad, I was like, do you want to do this? And he's like, yeah. And I sent him, the best part was I sent him the list of boots of the options.

He picked the most expensive pair because he wasn't looking at the price. He picked the most expensive pair. Oh, did he? Dude, my dad, it's the most expensive thing. he's ever had on his feet. He said that and he's like, he's a comfortable straight away. This is a joke.

The leather is second to none. Dude, a wonderful pair of moose. What ones did he go for? What classics? I can show you after. You're cross-church going out shoes. Oh, dude, Craig. Send him on a trip down to South.

Dad went down to Darfield and went to the rugby club after a big game of the local Darfield. To the ladies would be all over him because it was R-N. They were top-tier R-N. Top-tier. They're like, here's a man with some money. Yeah. So they said, we'll go to a,

like a rural-esque setting you get some photos i was like okay cool and dad meets me there and he's just like what and then more people turn up because you know what it would just look a photo shoot like so there's six people there one person's got a camera and he kept saying to me what do what do you what what are you reckon that one over there's doing i was like nothing nothing yeah supervising so then they're like okay so we'll just get some photos and my dad's never done a candid photo shoot before what about like a family portrait no because you're staring at the camera and you're posed and you're like we were never the family that did you know the family Everyone knew a family that would get the photo shoot

and that all be like in front of a big tree and that all be like black and white and it would all be like, we never did that. Yeah. One, because it was expensive and two, we're just not that sort of family. So we never had, we had, we went to farmers upstairs and Hamilton.

Santa. Santa photos. Well, where they did the Santa photos, when it wasn't that, they'd drop a mile grey curtain in the background and you'd sit in front of it and then your mum would sit and your dad would stand and the boys would stand and the daughter would say, Very proper.

Yeah, hand on the back of my brother's shoulder was always made. In fact, I think it might even be on my, weirdly and coincidentally enough, on my Facebook memories today. Okay. From 1992, the Smith's family photo. Right. So, we had to do candid. Oh my God, it is.

Look, that's the exact photo that I was just talking about. Yeah. Oh, my God, that's a classic. That's a classic. Your mom looks like Deirdrie from Coronation Street. She didn't look like Deirdrie from Coronation Street. She had big glasses and sort of a mullet. Gertry.

R-I-P, R-R-P. R-I-P. Deirdre. That's what my family. Your dad doesn't look happy to be there, doesn't he? No, my dad looks like an actor, like Red Foreman from that 70s show all through my childhood. This is nickname. So, we had to do a candid, and we were walking along, and the photographer's like, I said, he's never done one of these before.

And she said, it's easy. Walk along, lighthearted conversation that's likely to make you smile. Yeah. And I'll just start snapping photos. And we start walking. It's hard when people like, be candid. Yeah. And he's like, so I'm not looking at you.

to the photographer. She's like, don't look at me, look at Vaughn, talk, lighthearted stuff, smile in my face. And we start walking, he's like, what do you want to talk about? I was like, I don't know what, what do you want to talk about? He's like, oh my God, I've got to tell you about this horrendous farming story. And breaks into the darkest story he's maybe ever told me. Oh, my God. Oh, it's just like this, and it's just like, and this Gen Z urban female photographer is just like,

what the, I said light. And I'm seeing her like, but he's in like full story mode. So the photos will look quite expressive and stuff. But he's telling him this, like, horrendous story. And you're trying to be, as the professional, who's done this a million times before. Looking at him smiling, lying. And I look like the psycho that's enjoying this horrible, horrible story. And then we get to her thing and she's like, okay, turn around and go back.

And let's try to keep it light on the way back. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he's like, what does she, what does she want from me? What does she want from me? And so he started walking back and he started telling me a slightly less horrific story. Right, okay. But, um. I can't wait to see these photos.

Did you get a little gander at them through the, the lens on it. Mom did. Yeah. Was she happy? Mom did. I think mum was happy. Mom's happy. She's not going to let him wear the boots inside, though, is she? Oh, they're very nice. Very nice boots. They're basically slithers, really, aren't they?

We got there and they said, we bought some shirts, Amaro and William's shirts. Because I said, we're... I know, George's piss. We've got nice pants, but I said, we're just not, like, a shirt family. Yeah. And they were bringing some shirts. And I was like, oh, I like that one. And a mum, literally snatched it.

Yeah. And said, no, your father will look better on that. Like the CEO of that company. And he needs a nice new shirt. And I was like, Mom. Wow. So he's sort of for a shirt and boots forever, I reckon. Yeah.

Did you get a nice shirt? I did get a nice shirt. And he loved modelling. Dad, like you. He's unlocked something in him. Wow. He's done a bit of light modelling for like the local vets and stuff before.

He's been on the weather too. He has been on the news. He has been on the news. Yeah. When they needed a rural reporter, Maddy McLean used to go down and hang out with dad for the day. Yeah.

Well, don't let him get it too ahead of himself. Because, you know, it goes to the head. I don't know. I'm thinking of moving to Milan. Giving this a red-hot go. And he leaves Christine. Off to Milan is a 70-year-old man. Yeah, Dolky and Gabiner, they'll want me.

Yeah. Well, congratulations to you, podcast listening. You've reached the end. So I would assume if you've listened all this way through, you're either asleep, in which case, wake up! Or you enjoyed it. So drop us a review and tell your friends.

That's how podcasts work. Good morning, Haley.