ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - September 30th 2025

Episode Date: September 29, 2025

On today's episode of the Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley Big Pod, is Hayley being cat fished & we asked you to summarise your ex in one sentence and oh boy did you deliver PSA - Pole dancing squirrel  Sunblock ice cream Top 6 - Warnings that should be on billboards Clip on nails SLP - Do you have NYE plans? Hayley is a bad Mazbassador The new walking trend Vaughan keeps being out-bid When did a live performance go wrong? Sproull on the Prowl Super bowl headliner Fact of the day Summarise your ex in one sentence? See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

From the ZM Podcast Network This is Fleshwin and Haley's Big Pod Brought to you by Chemist Warehouse The Biggest Brands at the lowest prices Good morning, Fletch Fawn and Hayley It's two minutes past six Got some absolute honking chin hairs Hey

I was gonna, because I always do my makeup at work And I just found my tweezers And I was like, I have a little plucky wucky, oh my lord You're finding some goodies Right, far out some actual honkers You're just leaving them on the desk? Yeah, yeah, listen. little chin.

They're quite coarse, eh. Yeah, okay. We'll brush those away before Bree and Clint get in. Yeah, Bree will be like, is there been a cat in the studio or some sort of dog? No, no, that's Hayley's chin here. Oh, I love plucking them, though. The top six is coming up. Yeah, the Met Service weather warnings are going to be displayed on billboards,

digital billboards around the country. Should there be an incoming weather warning? That's good, because normally unless you go to the app, You don't really know. Or you read the news sites. You wouldn't really know, would you? Well, you were listening to the radio. Yes.

As you should be in your car. Yes, absolutely. As you are now, listener. Hello. Yes, hello and good morning. So you'll be able to see the warnings, the weather warnings on the billboards. It's got the top six other sorts of warnings that should be on billboards. Love that.

Next on the show, though. We're going to start with the PSA. Yeah, a little PSA to our lovely loyal listeners who know us so well. Haley's been quite triggered. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A PSA involving a pole dancing squirrel. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Haley. Well, I, a big thank you to everyone who has filled the, well, my personal Instagram inbox.

I think Vaughn's had quite a few. I've had it a couple of, the FVHZM page, I believe Shannon has been inundated with, I mean, it's spot on, really. A recommendation for a purchase I should make, which is a, um, Taxi-Dermide squirrel on a stripper pole. And I'll say, I'm just on the website now. It's a shop in Tulsa, Oklahoma. Okay. And there she is.

It's so good. It's so cheap. I would have thought cheap. $575 US dollars for something like this, this size. Yeah, that's pretty good. You wouldn't be able to import that into New Zealand, though, would you? It would be pretty bloody tough. I reckon the dog will sniff it.

The dog would sniff that out. The dog would give that a big sniff. I reckon someone messaged me last night and I've absolutely had so many messages of people being like, oh my God, look at this. I thought of you. Well, you did buy the two-headed duck. Which I love that people see this stuff

and look at me and think of me and send it to me. I do genuinely love it and don't stop. But I reckon I've heard about maybe 300 people. Wow, okay. And it's all I've got. And it's not that I don't like the product. It's just that the name of the shop triggers you.

It's called black MOTH. Right. And for those that don't know, you have a phobia of the MOTH is. A horrendous phobia. It's horrendous, yeah. If I said the word... It's like really bad.

You would shudder and go, I get this like almost like a tick, hey? Like the air goes down to my shoulder. It's a bit weird. Anyway, it goes because I just went on the website and their logo is a big MOTA. I can't even look at it like an animation of it. So you've had 300.

plus people send you one of your most... It's like all I can see. I mean, I look at the squirrel and I think nice and then all I can see is that word. So I think we'll just... We'll call it there. We'll just... Okay, so Haley's seen it.

It's just a PSA. I have seen it. It's Haley's seen it. Yes. I have... We've been all sent it to pass it on. I think it's reached its intended audience. I think it has. I mean, look, I'm on the website.

I can't buy it. It is in America. but if you are listening now on the podcast on IMART radio you can go and buy it if you're in America If you're in America Because what are the rules about importing Taxi-Dermy.

It's an animal product right? But lots of taxidermine like I've got two Arctic foxes And you know they're not Of course you do They're not from the Arctic didn't they? They're not from bloody you know The South Island How long ago?

Yeah weren't they here so long ago That like I don't know If things were looser back in the day Okay. Now listen here. I will say I am on the website. And I think this shop's whole quirk is funny taxi to me. Here is a squirrel in a canoe. Oh, see, that's cool. That's pretty cool. That's cool. You can import taxi do me into New Zealand, but you must meet strict biosecurity and C-I-T-E-S requirements. A full-body raccoon eating crackerjacks. Oh, see, that's cool. I love raccoon. I love raccoon. I'd have that. I'd have that. So you can do it.

Yeah. Why don't you get the stripper? The squirrel on the stripper pole. You know, there were two. There was a sort of light brown one and then a darker brown one. They're both sold out. They're all sold out. Oh, no, they've had heaps of them.

So they must do them a lot. But the stripper's squirrel is, she sold out. Oh, so Sites is the convention of international trade and endangered species. So you wouldn't be able to import like an endangered species. Or an Arctic fox. Oh, my God, four. Are they endangered? I reckon I've got one for Vaughan.

Okay, what is this? Full-body squirrel on a motorcycle with a durry. Oh, yeah, look at that one. Man, I mean, that's an art, really. That's quite, yeah. I love it. Do you know, actually, I know I'm getting quite a few hobbies sort of lined up and on the go.

Oh, my God, raccoon taxi dummy head. Don't tell me you actually want to get into it. Like, imagine. I do follow a chick on Instagram, who is a female taxi dummy. artist and she does stuff like this oh it's wild oh my god the american stuff's amazing do you think we've got the right sort of animals for taxidermy though

no we don't it's either like precious precious native birds or just kind of like pests stoats and ferrets yeah or like a goat like I've got a goat and you're like yeah that's quite cute is it yeah but it's not like the America America's got the pick of the bunch man play ZM's Fletch And Haley. Oh, hang on.

I've accidentally clicked an ad on the story I was going to talk about. Oh, ha. And do you know what's worse is I've used my 40 gigs of company data? So I'm on... Have you? Why are you doing?

I think when I transferred my... I re-updated my phone. I wasn't on Wi-Fi and I downloaded all the apps on... Oh, that's... That was a bit silly? Yeah, but silly. Silly, so...

I'm on like 1999 internet speeds. That's silly. Carnival Cruise Line. Oh, yeah? The people that do cruise ships. Which we've decided we're not ready for yet. We're talking about this at the weekend with our friend Mike. He went on a cruise, didn't they?

Mike and Matt, they went on a cruise. It sounded lovely. With mum and dad. It had an Irish bar on the boat. With a guinea tap? Which sold born. I don't think you were particularly can on cruises until you heard that they have Irish bars. Nothing makes me happier than an Irish pub.

That does just like the most basic food and a guinea tap. I don't think Mike had particularly enjoyed it. No. The Irish pub? No, he said he probably wouldn't do another one. He found a trap until later, yeah. But he said it was all ages. Like he said it wasn't like all boomers.

Yeah, but all ages, that means kids too, right? I'd go adults only crews. They did have like adults only, like areas. Areas, yeah, yeah. But Carnival Cruise Line, see, cruise ship people have made an ice cream flavour and it's another stunt ice cream flavor. You know, brands do this all the time. Was it Doritos that did? Oh my God, speaking of Doritos,

I've had many messages about cool ranch being back. Is it in New Zealand? No. I've never tried it. Yeah, that's at this thing. Would now be the ideal time to tell you I made orange chocolate moose from scratch yesterday?

Oh my God, Vaughn, you sent a photo. It looked delicious. It was delicious. How is this the ideal time? Well, I don't know when else would have been. We're talking about ice creams. We were actually just talking about the gym before this. But we were talking, you were about ice cream.

I'm so confused. How we got here? Well, you took about ice creams. And so I thought we were on a little bit of a dessert. Sorry, ice cream. I just got confused because we went to Doritos and then we got excited about Cool Ranch and now we're back at Moose. Back at Moose. Well, Doritos did that coriander.

Do you remember they did? I think it was a, was it April Falls? They did a coriander flavor. Yeah. Well, this is a stunt ice cream from Carnival and Van Luen ice cream. And it's sunscreen. Smells and tastes like sunscreen. The first ever sunscreen ice cream.

I do like the smell of. of sunscreen, like a classic Cancer Society sunscreen. Really? Yeah, I know. I like that, the... Coconut. Yeah, who does it? So, not Latan,

but another one. Fattan, you do a coconut. Yeah, yeah. A few of them do, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And apparently people on this cruise ship have tried it, and people went for seconds. So I don't know if it's tasting like coconut?

Do you know, like, I... Do you know what flavor that ice cream they should make? And actually, you've got a ninja creamy, don't you? Yeah, yeah. Vivid. You want a sharpie slash like vivid whiteboard market. Yeah. But would it be licorice?

But it would be licorice. It would be enducedy. Yeah, yeah. I think that's insane. The whiff of that. So some people commenting on the sunscreen ice cream, right off the bat, a tsunami of coconut. So yeah, they went coconut.

Okay. Another described it as toasted coconut overkill. Some detected banana, and some didn't but wish they had. Yeah, several people noticed a tang, notes of lime and other citrus. Now, I know this break was sort of darting around, and I'm not trying to thumb in a little thing here for Shemise Warehouse. Show sponsor. Show spawn Shemase Warehouse has the Latan coconut sunscreen, 50 SPF.

One litre pump, 2799. Oh, that's good. Are you kidding? I'm adding that to part because I just said I need to do an order because I ran out of my vitamins. Yes, well, I will say show sponsor. Race in for their spring frenzy megasail on now. It ends tomorrow. Tomorrow, that's why I was like, I might get there.

Because that is the one you're talking about, hey, that it's like actually smells legit. Yeah, like cooking it. Oh, yeah, yum. But I get it. You're going to eat it. You're going to eat it. I'd sort of eat it.

Yeah, yes, I know. You should be wearing some long. every day. On the face. Yeah, what they say. Stops the face. That's what they say. That's what they say.

ZM's Fletchbourne and Haley. From the Fletchborn and Haley group chat, this is the Top Six. Yes, welcome to the Top Six. Today we'll be looking at other warnings that we need on billboards, as it's weather warnings are going to be put on billboards.

Yes, so more than 500 digital billboards across New Zealand will be displaying Met Service and NEMA the National Emergency Management Agency notices. And they can be like targeted just to different areas. You know, electronic billboards everywhere. So good. Yeah.

This would be great. It's rainy. It's wet. Those times when you're not on a news app or you're just kind of oblivious, you're so busy, you don't notice these things. And suddenly your car's blowing around. You're six feet underwater. Yeah. That'll happen.

It happens. Just straight underwater. Yeah. Drive, drive, swim, swim, swim. Torrential rain or you just drove into the harbour. One of those two things. Well, I've got the top of six other warnings we need on billboards. Because if these billboards can flash up with a warning,

they should be able to flash up other warnings. Like number six on the list, you forgot to get chicken out of the freezer for dinner. Shoot. What a warning. Are you turning around? Are you going home to get the freezer chicken out or are you just going to buy some more chicken on the way home? That would actually be a great billboard for a supermarket. Yeah.

Like start the advertising in the morning. You forgot to get a chicken out. Yeah. Come get some freshie. Poppin and get a freshie on the way home. And we've got breasts this week, $999, KG. That'll work. Yeah?

I mean, I don't do the breasts, but you do the, what are the other, the little ones? Thigh, that's the best for... Thigh's where it's at. Yeah. For it's at for chicken. Number five on the list of the top six warnings we need on billboards. You didn't put deodorant on. Oh, yeah.

You smell? Yeah. I actually haven't... You haven't put on deodorant? I've run out. Oh, really? I'm doing an order now, so we're at that. Well, we've got some in the locker.

No, I know, but I like the Mitcham gel. Oh, sorry. She's a Mitchum gel. Just pitch him gel. I just am who I am and I won't be judged for it. A nice reminder that you need to purchase deodorant and then put it on. Number four on the list of the top six warnings we need on billboards. You need petrol.

Yeah. Your car does warn you sometimes. Sometimes. Yeah. Sometimes. As a woman who recently ran out of petrol in the car didn't warn me. Sometimes it doesn't. It does warn you, Haley.

You just didn't notice. Does that car have a light or a needle? It has a needle. It didn't ding me. and it has so many other alerts on. Do you know what I mean? It probably got lost in the lights. Lost in the alerts.

Again, I'll say it again, it's a user error. Yeah. Well, it's not my car, you know. It feels like a patsy problem. Well, yeah, so mom's European, isn't it? Yeah, yeah. That's what you get. Yeah.

Number three on the list of the top six warnings when it on billboards. You never called your mum back and she's currently imagining you dead in a ditch. Oh. They do, don't they? They do if you don't call them back. They'll be a nice reminder.

Ring your mum. Ring your mum. Yeah. Ring your mum. She thinks you did. Number two on the list of the top of the time. They love to worry, don't they? They love to worry.

Oh, go on the worries all the time. I still have to text her when I arrived somewhere. I got here. Yeah, if I drive further than work, home work. Yeah. I got to text her and be like, I'm here. I'm here. I just text me.

Hamilton. Why don't you just give her fine friends? And then have to teach her to use it? Yeah, true. It's a no. Number two on the list of the top six warnings when we need on billboards. Remember you brought your. own lunch and you don't need to buy it today.

Yeah, but you know how yum so she is sometimes? It's not as yum. It's not as yum. It's not as yum. But we're trying to save a little bit of. Yeah, pasta loving. And number one on the list of the top six warnings we need on billboards are we need the she's in the lute heel phase, day 20. Of the cycle warning. That is a warning that would be very helpful to the world.

We should all have that. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Hey, heads up. It's day 17. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Things are a little unpredictable. Things are going to turn. There will be tears. To be honest, that could be more destructive and devastating than a cyclone coming in. I feel like Metro should give up some billboard space to let everybody know it's day sort of 17 through 20.

I'm out the other side and that's why I'm so bloody chipper. She's chipper. But give me a fortnight. She'll be back there. She'll be back there. Z-M's flesh-won and Haley. Girlies, jump on, jump on, because I reckon we're all going to love this.

Because I would say that all of us love nails, but particularly producer Carwin, who we do want to remind you, at one point wanted to be a nail influencer. Do you remember? That's right, with the nails, the nail art. My beautiful art, that you guys were all like,

wow, I don't believe you didn't get into that. Wait, what did you... You're actually very good now. You put on the nails something, but it looked like something else. Spongeball. But you said it looked like Marge Simpson, which is just broad. It did. It looked like Marge Simpson.

That's what it was. It didn't, though. It didn't. I will say that really made me laugh, but it did look like Marge Simpson. It didn't. But you're really good at doing nails now. You're better now that you're not a nail influencer. At doing nails.

But one of the problems with nails, I've got quite long nails at the moment, and I'm a pianist. Yes. And when I was young and I had long nails, if I turned up to my piano lessons with Diane. Diane Alexander, she would tell me off and send me home. And it wasn't allowed. Yeah. And my parents had to pay for the lesson and so it was like not good.

Yeah. This would be perfect for us. Long nail-loving girlies who also like doing things that long nails prohibit. Like piano playing. Indoor netball. That's what I was thinking you meant, yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Or for our lesbian listeners, you know, this would be perfect because there is the thing called the lesbian manicure. Yes. Oh, is it? Yeah, but you get two short nails. Your two middle ones are short and short.

Wait, if you wanted to profanate, professional, would you ask for the... Google right now, lesbian manicure. It's a thing. Yeah. Yeah. So you just choose these ones or these ones and you get them shorter. Wait, auto fill in on Google was going to say lesbian manifesto. What's that?

I don't know if I'm like that. Probably kill all the men. Yeah. Right? Yeah, probably. Okay. I'm seeing photos now. It's a thing. So you've got your nice long claws, but two of them on your hand of choice are shorter. Why is that?

Oh, it's just to... Come on. I love it. We're not even going to need to tame that, Josh. Yeah, no, we're not. Okay. Move on. So this would be perfect, right?

This is an even better version of clip-on nails or stick-on nails. So you get a little, what would it be? Like an extension, basically, that you would glue to your fingernail. Right. But you would file this right, right down. So it's just the normal length of your fingernails. Okay. you're fine and then to that you attach this kind of is it like magneted it's almost command

hooky yeah yeah yeah like a 3mantic strip yeah it's been shiny so when you take the nail off you roll or pull the little clad you can like clip it off but then you can clip it back on so basically then you have natural short nails but now you've got three nails on you know what I mean you've got three layers the base layer that you put on which is the adhesive layer is really thin. Oh, right. It's like a natural nude nail. Yeah, it does. It looks like nothing when you've got it on the nail. Like, there's

her with the base layer on, so it's super, super thin. Not a lesbian. No, she's gone longer in the middle. Yeah, yeah, so. We've determined. Fletcher's just going to walk up to strangers and be like, can I see your middle two fingers? No, I'm not going to say that.

Don't. It's funny, though, once you know it, you can't unsee it. When you meet people, you're like, huh. Oh, like a little giveaway. Yeah, right. It's like when you meet someone with just one long little finger. Yeah. Nail. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Either that or they...

Oh, more, dear. They don't use it for little bumps. Plus drivers, you know, they used to do it to like count cash and stuff. Or like people that used to work in counting money would have a long nail. Oh, would they? And do you know who also has a long nail? I thought they had a wet sponge. I thought they had a wet sponge.

You know, just to put their finger in it. Do you know who also has a long nail? And who would love this? Bruce Springsteen, the boss. Oh, for playing his... Because remember Sophie, who does my nails, once got called in to do a manicure on Bruce Springsteen, and he gets an extension on his finger, just one finger,

to pick on the guitar, and then he removes it at the end of the night, and just gets a fresh one-ed-h concert. Wait, and it stays on for him to do that. Yeah, yeah, like these are, I mean, I've got extensions on mine at the moment, and they are. The glue's hard out. It's UV-cured. Right, okay.

So Bruce Springsteen would love these clip-on nails. Lesbians would love these clip on nails. Farmers would love this clip-on nails. Some painters, sculptors or embroiderers, keep one or two long nails as a tool for scraping, shaping, or guiding thread. See, they would love these clip-on nails. Some people keep one long coke nail, historically associated with drug use. Or simply to peel fruit.

Finance bros. Finance bros. Or to peel fruit. People kept a long nail back in the day to peel fruit. Yeah, I find it hard to peel my mandies and oranges when I clip my nails. You've got lovely fingernails, Fletch. Do I? Yeah, you really do.

You do. He's got a great cuticle bed, doesn't he? A lovely cuticle bed, fantastic shape, well-kept. Who knew? God, the hands of a lesbian to my left. I love it. All short, though, yeah. They are short.

Why? I don't know what that means. Why? What is it? I'm just reading about the history and the stories involved in, like, different length nails. This could be a fact of the day thing. It could be a fact of the day? I don't know if there's enough.

Nails? Historically, long nails, especially in Imperial China or 18th century Europe, showed you didn't need to do hard work. So that's where the long nails being fancy came from Because you didn't need your hands for manual labour Well, you've also got a lovely nail bed Fantastic Are we just a show of lovely nails

We are quite lovely I'm a sparkly and long Might need a pushback Yeah, that's okay Well you can come to my next manicure And we'll get, well, sorry if who loves the phone is To push back your cuticles Play

ZM's Fletch Vaughan and Haley Silly little pole Silly little poe It is so silly, silly, silly that Silly little pole Silly little pole Silly little pole Silly little pole

Silly little pole Here's a quick PSA before Silly Little Pole Don't take multivitamins and stuff On an empty stomach I feel like I could be sick Yeah, it makes so nausea so nausea It makes me feel sick I mean you've got to eat some food

I'm having my porridge early Because I felt like in the kitchen just then I was going to spew at the sick. Oh no. And they get to spew up your vitties. Yeah, I know. I need those vitamins. Silly little poll today is do you have New Year's plans yet?

I don't. And I don't plan on having any. Well, you have been invited to my Fadanoi. I host every year and I love it. Just a good small group. Everyone brings food so you're not hosting as in like putting on a meal. I love when everyone brings food. Yeah.

And some people bring their own chili bins so your fridge isn't all clogged up and you just have that right there. Perfect night on the deck. Well, 84% of people are yet to make New Year's plans. 84% of people don't have plans. I mean, how many days away from Christmas? Add 7. It's October tomorrow.

It is. It's the last day of September today. Wow, I've got one more week. 86 days until Christmas. So 93. Yeah. Days to. And if you're, I mean, obviously, we've spoken about R&A. A lot of festivals over New Year, a lot of concerts.

So go camping. But if you want to go camping at the hot spots around New Zealand, you've already too late to book the good ones. You've got to get accommodation like last month, month before, June. All like Hawks Bay, that's always booked up, up north, Coramandel. Some people book the same spots in a column every year. Like, they'll just do it a year out. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, right?

As they leave. Yeah, as they want to do. As they are want to do. They just chuck it in for next year. We'll see you again. Yeah, you'll make the new booking. Yeah, see you then. Well, some feedback on it.

Lottie said, my dudes, it is only September. Can we calm down, please. It's not. It's October tomorrow. It's October tomorrow. It's a spooky season first, but you've got to make plans. Because what do they say if you are booking flights anywhere, like three months out, it's ideal. And that is kind of the... That's where we're at.

That's where we're at, yeah. But then also Christmas and New Year, there's a added... It's a spike. There's a tax on those times. Louise said, I run and own bars. I'll be at the bar, but I've worked to hospital since the 16. I wouldn't know what to do with myself if I wasn't working New Year's. And we thank you for your service.

Thank you very much. Happy to pay. It's also mad for me thinking going out to clubs on New Year's. Oh, it's been years since I went to town on New Year's. I don't know if I ever have. I did win my Wellington days when I was like 19, 20. We used to always start somewhere and go to town. That's a mess.

Kate said we're going to celebrate Hogmanay in a tiny village in Scotland because I hate crowds, but I also like the vibes of a party atmosphere, so it's a win-win. Hogmane. I don't know what that is. Is that, I'm going to ask. I like the New Year's where things just happen and you have the best time. Yeah. Yeah.

It's not overly planned. Those have always been the best New Year's. Come over. We'll just see. It's a Scottish New Year celebration. It's one of the biggest annual festivals in Scotland. December 31st. Scotland traditions.

I love a Scotty lad. First sporting after midnight, the first person to step through your door brings luck. Traditionally, it should be a tall dark head man, ideally carrying gifts like coal, whiskey, shortbread or salt. A tall, dark scotsman, you see. With light eyes, brown skin. All right, where are you going to find one of? skin and leit, he's in Scotland, unheard of things. Torch-like processions and fire festivals.

They're at big bonfires. They sing Old Anzine. Oh, you do sing Old Anzine on New Year's. Yeah, so that's the Hogmanet tradition. That's interesting. We're all learning things. Thanks Kate for opening our eyes to that. Lisa said, your girls turning 40 on New Year's Eve.

Best believe we're having a blowout party. Oh, yeah, good sign. Happy birthday, Lisa? Too early. Waiting for my roster to come out. I'm an RN. Registered nurse, yeah. And we get rostered six weeks in advance.

My old job was only two weeks, so really couldn't make plans unless we'd already had it pre-approved. Oh, that's annoying. You'd want six weeks out. I don't know what my New Year's roster's going to be either. Still just all clicking into place. Yeah.

Right. Running away to Bali for Christmas and New Year's, that's going to make life easier. Oh, Leland. Lovely. Tony, I'm boring and I'm usually asleep by 10. That's okay, too. Yeah, but you wake up and you start the year, chipper.

Is being in bed by 9pm with a book, counted as a plan, said Natalie. Yes. Yes, that's a plan. Are you going to go to Haley's for New Year's then? What are you going to do? Well, come over, no-my-hide-mai. No one. You're being all negative Nelly on this.

I'm not going to be negative Nelly. There's lovely people at my far away. I won't be negative Nelly. Well, there'll be margaritas and there'll be a barbecue. I love margaris. And there'll be Dan's famous anchovy, not anchovy, art of choke dip. Interesting. You tried it there?

Well, you tried it when you came over the other night. Oh, that was delicious. It's a cheesy artichoke dip. Oh, I would love that. It is unreal. Dan makes it every year. You would love it. Well, I've just got to get through to Christmas

and then I'll figure out my plans, said Casey. Oh, mate. Kirstie, our first baby is due in December 23rd, so I'll either be in the middle of incredible sleep deprivation or in the throes of labour. I reckon that's a fair call. Yeah. Ashley, mum's 60th is New Year's Day, so plans have been locked in for years. Oh, wow.

You're not going anywhere. No. Oh my goodness, who doesn't New Year's even Dubai? Bring it on, said Natasha. That would be fun. That would be insane New Year's in Dubai. There'd be fireworks, right? Insane fireworks, surely.

Off the Bej Khalifa. Clubs and everything. It would be amazing. Yeah, we all go. So for silly little poll, we said, rough estimate, 94 days out, do you have New Year's plans and 84% of you? Do not.

Play ZM's Fletchpoint and Haley. I just need a small purchase for free shipping. So now I'm doing a tutu Where I'm just like a little gif Like a little treaty Yeah Little something What are you thinking?

I don't know Maybe some like Oh I know what it will be Those fun day lollies You know the sugar-free lollies The ones that don't make you shoot yourself I always like that normally If it doesn't make me

And immediately need to evacuate my bells Yeah Now I did have a meeting the other day With lovely Derek from North Harbour Mazda Who, of which I am an ambassador The Mazbasseter Yep. Did he tell you off for saying Maz Baceter?

Yeah, and then he quite liked Mazbasseter, but when I suggested that he'd be Mazz Daddy, he made him uncomfortable in front of his wife and kids. I'll say that. I wouldn't have said that. Maybe I said, what's up, Mazz Daddy? And he was like, nope, no, no, no, no, no. You can't be doing that.

But, you know, we were just chatting about this and, you know, how's the car and all this? And then afterwards, when we left, I was like, oh my God, don't follow me to the car because it is a mess, you know? And we all knew it was going to happen because you know how I used to keep my own car when I owned it.

Yeah. When I had my actual owned car, it was apporrent. Oh yeah, it was disgusting. Yeah. And I was... I'm pretty sure you had a family of raccoons in there. Yeah.

Which is why, because they're not even in the museum. Yeah, I know. A family of raccoons in the back and a flare gun in the glove box. Like, it was just an absolute nightmare. Haley will still not let me shoot the flare gun. I know. You can't just let it.

off a flare gun in the middle of orclubs. And why not? There are no boats, Haley. Throw a tantrum when you don't get what you want. It's the most boated city we've got. You're kidding me. We're literally the city of sales. Yeah, dude, the sales.

I have no idea. It doesn't mean shade sales. Right. And it doesn't be 50% off sales. Okay, right. Okay. No, you can't let off the flare in the CBD. Boo.

Boo. You suck. Pali sucks. Party pooper. You used to be fun. Anyway, look, you know, and I was like trying to, I'm just trying to keep it real like you know we don't want a sort of glossy version of a masbasseter you're going to show how masda users actually using their cars so yesterday was a great example of how bad i am and why they

probably shouldn't have me as their ambassador was we did a gym workout and i went in raw dog no bag you know arrived really for the workout so i had my keys in my hand yeah a towel drink bottle phone that was it and i just went around and did my thing at the gym for maybe like an hour and a half maybe yeah hour of 40 and just I did give a warning to people that I'm going to get very hot very soon eh just a reminder

that is currently happening and then we went to leave we like split to go off and then I was just like oh where's my keys I've lost my car keys in the abundant gym

and I was trying to remember when I ever had them and I don't remember them even at workout one. So they've been gone for like an hour and a half. I had no idea. And so I had to trace back everything. We went back into the spin class, back to all the machines I use,

back into this area, back into where I, oh, it was absolute beautiful sights on the floor yesterday. Right. Yeah. Yeah. So back where I was just sort of lurking around at the water cooler for too long, just sort of looking at the weights, thinking about which weights I wanted to use.

And if that guy there was done with his weight, and they were nowhere to be found. And it just, like, cross my mind that someone, like, it literally says on the... Oh, the number plate and everything on the little tag. Yeah. You could just, like, find them and have at the car. And you've got a free master.

You've got a free master. I'll never be able to find it. I don't have any air tag in there. The air tag on my keys. Beattiedubs. That's the only ear tag that's not working. I mean, this is terrible. I should take more care.

They'd been handed in, luckily. Okay. After I did the rounds, and then I went in there. And I did that thing when I turned up to the counter, she was like, are you missing keys? I was like, yeah, yeah. Can you tell by my face? And she's like, what do they look like

just to make sure, which is good? A little security screening. They've got a black leather sort of flog looking thing on them. She's like, yeah, here they are. So I do apologize to North Harbour Mazda, but the Mazda was nearly no more. It was nearly a free car giveaway.

Like, the right person would, though, wouldn't they? If you found keys on the floor and it literally said... No, I wouldn't. Especially modern-day car. Yeah, modern day cars and the fact that there'd be cameras in that gym. Yeah. Seeing you picking up some keys.

Yeah, easy to put it on you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I mean, I would. Do you know what would be a fun game is if you found someone's keys on the gym floor, go to the car and just move it? Yeah. And then come back, ditch the keys where you found. Do you know what I mean?

Just like chuck it on level five or something. Or tidy it in your situation. Yes. If you go back in the car after losing your keys and you're like, Someone's tidied this. Or park it sideways in two parks and then it's boxed in by the other cars around it. Just do something weird but that doesn't ruin their day. Yeah.

You just go and you're like... Well, if somebody finds your Mazda keys and moves your Mazda, you'll know that someone's taking your advice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll be looking for it and they'll be like, I know what's happened to you. Someone's listened to my own game. Play ZM's Fletchbourne and Haley.

Play ZM's Fletchbourne and Haley. We have been told by. producer Carwin to just hear her out. And so I have low hopes for these new walking trends. Yeah, look, I fear that these are going to be giving Shannon's hack a little bit. Whoa. No slander in the booth. This is a safe space.

Friendly fire. Wow, okay. While scrolling the interwebs yesterday, I discovered two separate new walking trends that the girlies and the Gen Zs are doing to help with mental health, with help with things. feeling like a bit flat like we get this time of year to energize us, right? This is perfect because I'm trying to get back on my walking buzz at the moment. And I've got a little bit of cranking anxiety.

So it could help. Okay. Happy to be a guinea pig for this. Okay, so the first one is called a mere walk, M-A-Y-O-R, M-A. Like the mayor or the city. That's exactly what you're going to do. You're going to go out. Yes, go-vorn, yes.

You're going to go out into the world And walk around as if you are the local small town mayor So you want to see everyone wants to see you You're giving everyone smiles You're waving to babies You're chatting dogs Everyone wants as happy to see you Okay

That's weird that may be like That sounds like a fairytale mare Because I'd imagine mears now if they went for a walk Or just get ripped bits I'm paying too much Yeah A lot of those rates have gone up And I don't get anything for it

Yeah Okay well in a a small town Gilmore Girls Mayor vibe. You're going to walk around, you're going to say hi to every baby. Kiss babies. Yeah, kiss babies, pat dogs. This seems very similar to that Superman pose pre-job interview.

Yeah. Yeah. Like you're just going to act as if you have the confidence and happiness of a small town mayor. Walk with your head up. And you'll enjoy your walk. Yeah, and be like, everyone's happy to see me. Yeah, exactly. I love this. You just have that boost of serotonin of everyone wants to see me. And because

I mean, I know that every day. You know, I walk into any room and I just think God these people are stoked she's modest Hey it's the small town mayor of her brain I am I am and I'm the queen as well okay like the mere walk

okay and so if that's not what you're feeling like and you feel like a little bit of an activity this one is called the squirrel walk okay so this girl says that she maps out a walk around her area around her home around her work whatever time of the day.

She takes with her a backpack, a handbag, something empty. And as she goes along her walk, she collects little trinkets like a squirrel. So maybe you walk to the nearest cafe and you buy yourself a little coffee. That's your first little like treat that you're storing away. And then you go to the beach. Do you pick up some smooth glass? Exactly. Or in shells.

I know because how long has the glass been in the, at the beach and in the ocean for? Because it's real days. It's so smooth. I love when you find a bit of glass at the beach and it's real smooth. Yeah, that's nice. I love when you're on the beach and you find a beautiful shell.

The only thing is, you know, I'll take it home but then I don't. Shell's not my aesthetic. Oh, yeah, you're not a, put shells in the bathroom. Vaughn, you're a shells in the bathroom. What about putting nice shells in a glass? Jar. Glass jar and keeping it in the laundry.

Aw. All right, mum. Yeah, that's lovely. But like, maybe you walk past the local gardens and you take a little flower. And then when you return, in home, you have all these little, like, serotonin boosting little treats.

I love this. And you've got to walk in as well. I love this. I love the squirrel walk in particular. Yeah. Because I love to pluck a flower. I'll pluck a little lavender from a rogue bush. Everybody plucks a daffodil, though. There won't be daffod all day, will we? But everyone got to, like, enjoy the daffin. I always pluck rosemary when I walk past a

abundant rosemary bush. You should pop a rose, you should pop that rosemary just in a little pot and it'll often take root. Because I need, yeah, I don't have your own rosemary. I don't have rosemary. I don't have rosemary. at home. I'm out here struggling. No rosemary. You need to take root. Take four and five. I need to take root.

I've got a few rosemary sprigs. It's not gardening hour. Were you sprinkling? It is gardening hour. I actually heard that. We changed the show. Seven to eight's gardening hours. Dude, I'm not doing gardening. Deep and gardening. I've got the Christmas spuds in. I've got a whole lot of seeds on the guy. I've got sweet corn again. I got peas.

How's Nans rhubarb? Nans rubyb's another leaf. Another leaf. I was hoping it would die just for the story, to be honest. Oh, my God. She passed away in 2011 and that rhubb's been going ever since And you wanted Vaughn to be the one to kill it We can't lose the rhubov Because it would be a great fun

I tell you what, it would hurt the family greatly But it would be a great bit for radio Play ZM's Flashborn and Haley I have a dream Okay I've heard this before Okay white man I have a dream

I have a dream But this is significantly less important Yeah right Good to acknowledge I reckon It's a significantly less sort of like articulately put hope for racial harmony

I'm a big fan of racial harmony. Yes, I know you are. My dream is I want my own little Irish pub. Oh yes. You've spoken about this a while back. You want a little shed in the garden or something. But it's aesthetically an Irish pub.

It's built to the exact limits of what you're allowed to build without asking the council. Oh yeah, yeah, I've been there. This is the whiteest old mate thing I've ever heard you say. And you've got to call it

like the hog and whistle or something. It's going to be called Little Longhorns. Oh, you're cute. It's an Irish pub, but it's a Scottish cow. So it's kind of a Gaelic pub. Right. With an Irish tilt. Okay.

Why don't you just buy a six pack of beers and put them in the fridge like everybody else? I don't know that. It's not nearly as fun. I can't explain how that doesn't quite tickle my cerebellum. So will this pub have like booths? It's not going to be big enough for booths. It's going to have a bar.

and some leaners and some stools and then it might have a jukebox? Nope, no jukebox. Okay. Ui boom. Probably a Ui boom on budget. Probably a hidden Irish pub. A hidden Ui boom. Okay, because you know that...

Hide a Ui boom behind something. If you do this, right, this little hobby idea that you're going to have to have people around to use it. No, no necessarily. I think I'd find time to just be in there by myself. Dimly lit area. Right.

Right. But anyway, part of it, I don't know if you've familiar with Irish pubs, they've always got heaps of shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. There's always just heaps and, heaps of stuff. Wooden shit. Just junk. Just stuff. Old rusty stuff, signs. Ceramics.

Yeah. Just old shugs. Yeah. So, I've found that Rosio Grady's and Taradale RIP. Oh, no. Rosio Grady's, the Irish pub and Taradale in Hawks Bay shutting down. Can't Wayne, give us some, what, you're as a local? Yeah, I mean, I'm not a Teradale local, but it's not

that far. Wow. Quick to distance herself from Tarredale. No, I just can't. I just don't want them to come for me when they're like, whatever. Yeah, yeah. It's like an icon. Like,

it looks like the good shank. Is it like, there's a few, oh my God, good shank. That's the thing I could go out into the Irish pub and sit down and eat a shank. I could cook my meal and sit and eat it in my shank. You've already got a whole house.

Yeah, I feel like Rosie's is a chain, right? Yeah. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Right. Okay. So anyway, for some unknown reason to me,

because how does a place pouring and creamy pints fail. It's gone into, it's shutting down, and it's selling all its stuff. I'm not telling you where, but you're probably going to be able to Google and find it. Stop out bidding me.

Stop out bidding me. Who else is buying these things? I don't know, because it's not like Trade Me where you can see who you're bidding against. Right. It's this other place. But what kind of things are you bidding on? This is what I'm currently bidding on.

A large advertising, tin advertising sign for Guinness with a two can. Oh, great. And the Guinness is sitting on its beak and it says lovely day for a Guinness. That's one of the things. Cool.

That's iconic. This one is a real. I've been outbid for this. I need some good crystal ash trays for out the front. Yeah. You know, classic. This is giving big go to the Gold Coast holiday and get one of those

oldie time photos. Yeah. Just talking to somebody about that. Just getting photos of my friends but like putting a filter on them black or white. It's a sepia. I told you. You got a sepia out.

And you're going to put it next to your live laugh. Love laugh sign. I'm about to walk into that boot and smack you. Do it. Can't do that. Because you know I've got my hands on that still. James is famous live love laugh sign.

Yes. So it snuck into my house. There is another like, because they're being sold in like lots. There's one for $40 and I think this is the pick of that's got a Guinness tray. Oh, perfect. And it's got some old like ceramic mugs and just knickknacks and patty wax. Here's the problem. What's the problem?

When I win these auctions in seven days. I have to go to Taradol to pick them up. Oh my God, you're not, you don't need all this. I'm just looking at him in the gym and I'm just thinking, how much fun do we have? No, we're such a blast, didn't we? Hedler aren't lugging your crap around. No, I was thinking I'm asking Carwin's mum to get it and just, I'll go down and see her one weekend. Yep.

Drive down, make a weekend of it and pick up all the shit. Do you think she'll be happy with that? Yeah. Look, she loves, she's listening right now. I'm sure she'll give me some feedback instantly, but I think that she will do this for the laugh. Maybe. Also, aren't you in a personal recession? Yeah, I am.

Yeah. That's why everything has a moment. But don't you have to buy your way out of a recession? Because it's a business. You need to spend it. Yeah, that rolls. That's a metal road sign for Craggie Island, which was where Father Ted was set. Oh, you haven't know, Father Ted's been cancelled now, hasn't it?

Well, no, Father Ted himself died, and then the creator of Father Ted had some interesting views on people's. Right. Catherine has said, I will anything for Vaughn. Yeah, I thought so. Wow, that's nice. I think, I'm into this idea a lot, but you can't just build it for yourself. I'm sorry, we need to be invited frequently.

We could record like a cocktail podcast session. Well, no, that's exactly right, but not like all the time. Friday, Saturday, Sundays, Mondays. Also, we all know it's going to be like a might of ten, one of those metal sheds. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're on a personal recession,

it's going to be a garden shed. It's not going to be a garden shed for myter ten. But the Guinness tins. Sign on the front. It's going to have a Guinness Tin sign on it. Play ZDM's Fletch, Vaughan and Haley. Dark from you, Fletch, actually. And he's handed over the reins to me

to tell you this story of an acrobat, 27 years old, performing a trapeze stunt in a big top tent, circus tent, in eastern Germany. Something went wrong. She fell five metres. Endoy. Oh, shit.

She did. But, like, do you... Have you been to... This is the origin story of Robin from Batman. What's that? Who was the flying grossens? God, Robin sucks. Robin is the worst.

Robin is so shame. Yeah. Robin's not bad, and there's been multiple Robbins. I think of... Robins is Robin. What? Tim Burton's Robin. It was the worst.

Chris O'Donnell. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. His little, like, nippled soap. Yeah. Oh, give Robin a break. It's the worst sidekick. His parents died in a trapeze. The worst sidekick.

His parents died in a trapeze. accident. Yeah, but Batman's parents were murdered in front of him. Yeah, I know. If we're doing, my parents are dead stories. Batman is obviously Batman Batman went and Robin. Yeah.

But these live shows, like, don't you think all the time? Like, I've been to these Cirque to Salaise shows, and you're just like, how do they not fall off more? There's so... I mean, you hear of the odd story they do. I know, and they were saying, like, screams erupting from the audience and my parents

quickly ushering their black kids out. Well, like, I find it weird when it's like big motorcross or like stunt events and they're you know flipping off oh yeah yeah yeah we're talking about nitro circus yeah madness they were saying it's it's very something terrible has obviously gone wrong because a well-trained artist should be able to survive a five meter fall oh yeah maybe just a just a freak accident yeah horrendous horrendous horrendous but let's put that to the side because i want to know when you've been watching a live performance and it's gone wrong maybe they've had a, like, who did I, a friend of mine,

oh my God, I can't even remember who it was, was doing a stand-up comedy set and then had a stroke and could feel it coming and was like, what? Oh, gosh. And then he had to, like, call it, and then was like, oh, and had a stroke on stage during a set. What about Lollie Young fainting?

Oh, my, she went down, ain't her arms or anything. The buckle of the knees are, you're like, oh. Or what about high school productions when someone comes on and it's a bit much the lights and the hits? and the nerves and they go well we'll have a chunny I know or I love when you see like budget productions of

like Mary Poppins and they try to like Pulley lever her up to you know fly away and she goes like cracking into a wall it's my favourite I absolutely love it yeah so okay this is what we want to ask this morning 0800 dials at em 966 maybe you were involved or just watching when did a live

performance go terribly wrong we want to know now when a live performance went horribly wrong Yes, a trapeze artist in Germany has fallen to her death in front of a crowd. It's absolutely harrowing story. That would be the most horrible thing. I don't ever want to see anyone die ever, but lots of people do. But we want to know when a live performance went.

Pretty bloody bad. I'm happy these are leaning on the side of funny. Yes, we have gone that way. We don't want the... Yeah. Although people have had emergencies in the crowd before. So when I was in high school, this was awful. I forgot about this till just now.

We were doing a play for drama class and a girl's grandma was in the audience. She had a heart attack and we had to stop. Joe, what happened at their live performance? Okay, so this was way back of the days when I was a little girl and it was probably one of the last circuses here in Hawks Bay where we could have like animals and it was actually people performing and all of that. We had a lady and a man and it was their performance and she was going to be catching bullets in her mouth

Shut up, shut up I've seen a bullet catch before I hated it Yep So anyway They showed us a bullet that went around Look really put it in the gun The lady sent herself up on the other side of the arena And he shot the first bullet

she caught it everyone went wild it was great the second time she fell to the ground holding her head and all of a sudden you just heard a loud kind of moan then lots of people rushed in rushed her out a clown came on a little interval and for the rest of the circus was absolutely silent you could hear a pin drop wondering, was that actually part of the show or not? Is she okay? Found out the next day that it had actually got her, but it had just skin the top of her head. Wait a minute, I thought the bullet catch thing was all bullshit, and, like, they went bang and, like, fired a blank whatever, and she was like, she just had it in her mouth, and she was

like, yeah. Well, that's kind of what we kind of thought, too, until, like, yeah, that one was real. Oh, my God. How old were you when this happened? I feel like this could be a morphed memory. I just don't think anybody was shooting a gun and another person at a circus even in the 80s, even in Hawks Bay.

Yeah, no, that's what have been back in, like, probably the early 90s. It was way straight back. Yeah. I've seen a bullet catch, but 100% I don't believe it was real. That's the whole thing, right? And an audience member was

shooting the gun. Wild. I didn't, B, didn't think it would be either, but the evidence is there, she got... Yikes. Wild. Okay, Joe. Jeepers, Joe. Great story.

So many messages and we'll get to more of those next. When did the live performance go horribly wrong? Talking about when the live performance went horribly wrong because a trapeze artist in Germany, like fell off. Mid show in front of everybody. Yeah. Right. Well, um.

I've just had to Google, and yes, there was a band in the 80s called Mental as Anything. You wouldn't call a band that now. I don't think you'd get away with it. 1987, I was at a festival and the trombonist and mental as anything had a heart attack. They performed CPR at the side of the stage and the band played on. He died a week later. The band played on. Well, the band's got to go down with the shirt on.

The family and I went to see an amateur production of Jesus Christ Superstar. Oh, God. That's not an amateur play. That's not an amateur music. It's not for amateurs as one of the hardest musicals to sing. Never seen it. No interest. Oh, it's the best.

Oh, it's so good. Rock and roll musical? You're kidding me? Not interested. Set in the 70s? Oh my God. Does he have a technical a dream coat in this one? No, that's Joseph.

No your biblical references. The ending, when Jesus is on the cross, there was what we thought was dry eyes to enhance his demise. God knows what went wrong because all of a sudden there were flames in the smoke. Holy! Not part of the production. Jesus was whipped off the cross very quickly and everyone was shuffled out of the theatre. Imagine of me to run an abandoned

and Jesus is just like Go ahead you let me out there Forgive the father for they know not what they do Judas Judas Years ago when my children were little And the chocolate factory was still into need And I took my children to the Easter Bunny show And the Easter Bunny's head fell off in front of all the children

Oh devastating I love when that happens Oh my God the deflating Pikachu Have you seen that? No There was like these dancers in Japan And they were all in those big like inflatable things and they were

all Pikachu's and they were doing this dance like this and one was deflating and like getting kind of like sucked into its like plastic suit they quickly ushered it out of theirs kids were screaming um warriors game at Eden Park in 2012 parachutists came in to land in the field as part of the show one came in

way too hot broke their leg oh no and then you're in the middle of the field in front of everybody just like getting stretched it off oh that's sad primary school choir performance to grandparents um one of the girls it was in the back where I had a massive power truck if I threw a spewed over, but it was pretty feral.

That's so good. Lady Gaga got clocked in the head by a solid bar when I saw her perform. I was coming down from the ceiling. No one noticed because she kept going. But then while she was singing at the piano, she said, I just got hit in the head by a giant bar, but she kept going.

She was amazing. Oh, wow. The show must go on. Remember when Beyonce's hair got stuck in a fan? She had her, there's like big hair, and it got stuck in a fan. She was like, ah! No?

Yeah, it's really good. It's a good one. Back in the 70s, a circus and Carterton had an acrobat faint uptown. Do you think that meant upside down? Yeah, maybe ups, maybe it's sort of correct. Fall in the head, everyone had to leave. We looked for the bloodstain after they packed up. Do you remember they had lions or tigers escaping Oratoro once at a circus, eh, back in the day?

Did they? I feel like 80s or 90s. I'm going to Google that because I'm pretty sure that. Kids, kids, we used to have animals in our circuses. Yeah, it was great, but it wasn't great looking back on. It was so bad. My parents went to a Joe Cocker, concert in his D&D days.

That doesn't stand for Degians and Dragons. That stands for drinking drugs. Oh, yeah. He came on stage and stream, let's rock this effing place, fell backwards and was unconscious with a bottle of vodka and some party favours. That'd give everybody's money back.

Oh. That's from Steve. I mean, it's kind of legendary, I guess, that you saw her. Yeah. Joseph in the Technicolor Dreamcoat was my bisexual bisexual awake. It's pretty gay musical.

So it was January the 30th, 1986 when lions escape from the Whirling Brothers Circus in Rotorua causing panic as they walked around the lakefront. They just walked around the lakefront. They would have had their pick of the geese. And apparently there's a documentary as well. There's one news link to a documentary on it as well. I'll watch that.

So three escaped during the performance resulting in chaos as they move through the public area along the lakefront. What year was this? Oh my goodness. Did they eat some? There was a poodle incident. Oh, God. It ate a poodle.

Oh, no, they had a poodle. A performing poodle named Lucy was found dead in the lion's cage earlier that day, which is believed by some two have agitated the lions and contributed to their escape. Oh, she did. That's poodle suicide. I think we just have a moment for Lucy. Oh, yeah. Of course, when you cross a poodle with suicide, you get a suicidal.

You do. Committed suicidal. We're having a moment for Lucy, the poodle. It was eaten by... Committed suicidal. Thank you, and that's just the moment there for Lucy. I'm crying, I'm not laughing. Play ZM's Fletchbourne and Haley.

Play ZM's Fletchbourne and Haley. I hope you're having fun. Sproul on the prowl. Sprawl on the prowl. She's out there getting old. Putting in the... And then the weather. On the brow.

On the brow. That was great. That was good improv. Wow. Wow. Okay. Well, in case you missed it, we do have to keep updating people

as they pop in and out of my life that I am a single lady or the single ladies. And I am. I'm out having some fun. Yes. And I had my first case of ghosting. That's right, yep. That was a new experience for me.

That didn't feel good, as I recall. Yeah, it was just like... Well, then you saw him at a restaurant. And then I saw him out when I was on a date. You silly Billy. She's a regist. You silly Billy. And I've had my first...

I've had a few firsts actually in this little time of life. But I believe I may be being currently catfish. Really? Here's... Okay. Here's how I got to this thought. So I matched with, I'll say a cutie putti on an app Kind of aimed towards

Dating Hangs. Yeah. Hangs. Yeah. Yeah. So I matched with this person who, now I hope there's a pillow on the floor.

Dark skin, bright eyes. Yeah. The ultimate combination. The ultimate combination. And nice photos, you know, very, very handsome, tall, like I say, dark skin bright eyes. And we matched and we start chit-chatting. And I love this. This is the bit that I love because I'm not looking for a bloody husband, am I?

So the chit-chat is, I'm just all about it. You just love the banter. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he was like, hey, how was your Friday night? He called me a little name, but I wouldn't say it. Great banter so far. How's your Friday night? Talk to your banter.

He knows the day of the week This guy, this guy Well that's important You need to know that going forward They know what day of the week it is Yeah, yeah I kind of want to know what little name he called her No, I don't think we need to say

No, it's just like a good looking But a different version Like sexy Yeah Oh okay That's it, I think you're ready to say that on the radio Yeah, I don't know I feel she push

I feel she push Right okay Again she's modest Oh it was the modesty that stopped It was the modesty that stopped Because I'm the perfect combination of cute and sexy And I know that Anyway, so bans, bants, bants, bans, bans, bans, bans, bans, bans, and then at some point,

I always try to get out of the app and onto like a better messaging service, because they're terrible. And I don't get notifications. So I'm always like, and also, great way to have a bigger checkout. Do you have an Instagram? Like a little stalk, yeah, to see that they're real. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So he gives me his Instagram and I go on there. Oh, no, no, no, no, I called him out first, actually.

Yeah. I said something, I said, I've got to be honest with you. not a real person energy. Because I've had this once before and you were like, yeah, people do this all the time. They just play with you for a day and then they go and they're not real.

And they've got some like models photos. So I said like straight out the game you're giving not a real person energy and he was like, why do people keep saying this? Because you're very attractive. And like that's not it. And he said, here's my Instagram. I go on the Instagram, red flag number two.

Red flag number one, too attractive. Yeah. Too attractive to be talking to me. To be chatting to me, basically. I'm a 7.2, we know this So I go on his Instagram, two posts Oh, see that's red flag

Big red flag Oh, how many friends, how many followers? Like not that many Okay, he's got a girlfriend Good looking people have more followers Yeah, yeah And they're not afraid to put up a face 132

Sometimes good looking girls put up the same photo five times Yeah, yeah, yeah They're just that confident Yeah, yeah It's a carousel And they're all just the same photo Yeah But yet people still like it

Every time Yeah, yeah So I was like yeah you've got two you've got two posts yeah he was like oh I had to start again and I was like this is big how convenient

a red flag anyway chit chat chit chat chit chat chitty chat have you reversed Google image search the images well that's a good idea I didn't need to because then we were talking he asked what I did and I never say radio first because I'm like

I just leave that for a bit you say you're an accountant No, I say a comedian, I just say comedian, I'm a comedian. And then he was, he said, mentioned something about like... Does he then say, tell us a joke? No, thank God, otherwise, yeah, block. And then he said something like that he was, you know, gets into performance as well and he's got a, he's with a modelling agency.

Okay. And I was like, oh God, red flag number three, like, you're a model, sure. Everyone's a model. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I kind of was like, okay, whatever, chit chats are fine, chats are fun and flirty and whatnot. And then this is when I'm in Duned and so I went and I did my mahi and then I went home and nothing else.

The next day I message and I'm like, good morning. Yeah. Desperate. Screams of desperation. Oh my God, how embarrassing. Good morning. No, actually, do you know what? It's 2025. Message when you want a message.

So I message and it doesn't go through. Oh, Red flag 18. On WhatsApp. It doesn't like get the double delivered. Which what is it when it doesn't have the double ticket? It means their phones off. It's sent but not delivered. It's sent but not delivered, which means I'm like disconnected or not a number.

Or out of data. It could be out of data. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So that happened. And I was like, this confirms it for me that this model, who by the way, then I did go a bit intense and found his model agency and found all the photos. So he's real then. Well, yeah.

Well, that person's real. That person's real. Yeah, right. I don't know. I don't think that that person is the person I'm told. Okay, this might sound crazy, but we contact the modelling agency and be like, we'll just been on your website, this is the person we're after, do you have their Instagram so we can see more photos of them?

Oh yeah, or their phone number. Because if they're a model, why do they only have? Why do they have a private page of two posts? Models don't have an Instagram with two photos. Models have an Instagram with like a thousand. All of that. Because all of his photos on this modeling agency are like really nice. And it's crazy because models don't even put up like landscapes and vistas and stuff.

just put up photos of themselves. I know because they don't have to put filler because they've got so many nice photos. Whereas we put up vistas and landscapes because we're like, I don't have a pretty photo of me on the phone in the last six months. Straight man. Anyway, so, and I will say like the chat's kind of slowed down as well.

Because you've been what calling them out on this? No, I'm just like, I just don't buy it. Is he going to meet you? Well, we were going to go for a date. Yeah. I've just Googled the levels of catfish. Oh, okay. Well, I've actually chat EPT.

So is there a spectrum of catfish? fishing and said yes so let's try to identify what level this catfish is at level one is called the filter fish someone that presents their real south but heavily edits or filters photos highest age or exaggerates lifestyle details for example they'll use a 2016 holiday photo and say I love hiking every weekend yes you loved hiking in 2016 hon yeah yeah more usually more about insecurity or image polishing rather than malicious intent it's their own insecurities coming through level two is the selective self that's a real person but a curated persona a living out inconvenient truths.

I think we're on another level. They're married, lying about their job, money, shoving a few years off their age, common in dating apps and social media. Level three is the borrowed face. Someone uses somebody else's face but keeps their own voice a story. Oh, okay.

So you've got a real name, your real situation, but not your mingin' face. Yeah, yeah. The full catfish is an entirely fabricated identity. Fake name, fake photos, fake job, fake background. You say, I'm a 28-year-old doctor in L.A., but reality, you're a 45-year-old living in another country.

So that's where you get on the TV show. Yeah. And then there's the deep sea catfish. High effort, high stakes deception. Yeah, sort of a blobfish. The ones that are trying to get your grandparents money. Elaborate fake person is reinforcing each other. So sock puppet accounts, they call them.

Elaborate scams for romance scams, money fraud, or emotional manipulation, sometimes used by organized scammers. Well, he did ask Haley to go down to the supermarket and get a whole bunch of Apple. Gift cards. And Roblox accounts. And Roblox. You've been catfish by a 12-year-old who just wants to play 99-9. nights.

But he was like... Six, seven! I just can't get to the supermarket. Are you able to die? Say six seven to him. Because if he's 12, he has to go... Six, six, seven. Anyway, I'll keep you updated as to whether or not

this is a real catfish situation. Or whether or not, you know? Yeah. It's actually a real model. Play. ZM's, Fletch, Vaughn and Haley. The Super Bowl halftime person has been announced. Now, we suspected potentially Taitay.

There were lots of rumours going around that Taylor Swift might be the halftime show. Yes. Yeah, you know, all that kind of stuff. Well, the album as well. The album, and then her connection to football. And then everyone was like, no. And it's got to be a dell.

But then over the weekend, it was, like, confirmed that she had dropped out. Like, Taylor was in the running. Yeah. And then it fell through. And the reason she fell through was the thing about rights. Yeah, around, like, wanting to own the footage. Which, it's Taylor Swift, it makes sense.

Yeah. She's had such a rough run of people just taking her rights out from under her. Let's just from the get, give her her rights, hey? Yeah, well, let's just let it, like, have the footage. Yeah, who cares? It's Taylor Swift at the halftime show, just let it happen. Yeah, yeah, it's sort of like, surely by now, and she gets her own rules. Well, also, you don't get paid for doing the Super Bowl show.

So, like, she's got to get something out of it. Yeah, it's so weird, the whole thing. So then that fell through and everybody was like, Adele, it's a doubt. It's a dell. Which was the most random rumour. But to be fair, there have been softer artists, like Colplay

and then like Paul McCartney and stuff. It just doesn't feel like if your team is like losing and you really need that boost of energy to come back out of the second half. You know what I mean? Like that's getting me in my feels. And like, you know, Travis is like sitting on the side

like, oh, I don't know if I can do it. Well, the news came out. Puerto Rappas sing. Bad Bunny. I mean, multi-Grami award winning and I was like, I don't really know him but as you mentioned Fletch, like Latin music, huge. Oh yeah, huge.

And he's just been doing a residency in Puerto Rico as well in touring. He had one of the greatest cariopo karaoke clips back in the day when James Corden was fun. Oh, that was never. Yeah, well, he was doing it. He can barely speak English at this point but the second Ariana Grande came on,

he knew every single word. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He also has his better now. He's done the Super Bowl, so he popped in for a performance with Shakira in 2020. When they did it, he just popped up like a little cameo. Do you reckon he'll be in his Calvin Clines? Oh, my God, I was going to say,

he's been doing a bloody residency in my head. It does mean that. He probably will bring out Cardi B because his biggest song is, I like it. And also one of his biggest songs is with Drake. So maybe the year after Kendrick Clamar came out, maybe Drake will then also come out. Could be quite interesting.

Yeah, I mean, I think people in America would love this. Like, he's very, very popular over here. Dubbed the king of Latin trap. Latin trap. Latin trap. That's my rock Christian. Trap. Latin Traps.

Latin Traps. Latin Traps. Castle of Church was a bit of a Latin trap. Play Z-M's fleshborn and Haley. Fact of the day, day, day. Day, Taye. It's brain week here. Today we're talking about brain shrinkage. Okay.

Starting point, approximately 35 years old. Research shows. Oh no, your brain's getting smaller. 35 years old. The brain volume begins to decline with even healthy adults, no disease. your brain just starts to lose about 0.2% per year. But that's like muscle mass as well from age 25. Everything starts going downhill.

Yep. So after 60 it goes to around about 0.5% of your brain per year. Sometimes there's more. Wow. By 90 years old, on average, people have lost 14% of their total brain volume compared to young adulthood. By 90. By 90.

And that's if everything's going right. And is it specific bits, or is it just the whole shrinkage? The region's most affected, the prefrontal cortex. That's where decision-making, planning and personality is stored. Uh-oh. The hippocampus, which is forming new memories, and the cerebellum, which is motor coordination. So there's a lot of dementia symptoms in there, basically. You can't remember new things, but you might be able to recall something.

This is when my granddad was in a unit after he had a brain injury. It was, and I had a great uncle that went to the same unit. I mean, it's written in the stars. Vaughn-Smiths ending up there at some stage. Oh, for 100%. Rosendale and Chart will clear me a space now. I'll pop down this weekend. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Reserve a room. Yeah, reserve a room. And it was a... We'll come visit. Don't. I'm not going to visit. Don't. Well, I was just going to go once

and then say, you remember we were here last week? Should we sing for everyone? But that's what was amazing. These people who were like had brain injuries or debilitating or degenerative diseases of the brain, put on a song they knew from their childhood

or their youth, they could sing it. They couldn't speak. They thought all sorts of manner of things. There was like semi-halucinations and stuff, but there was something that music dragged them right back in. Also, I love that Haley will go and visit, but only if she can perform. Only if I have a crowd.

She would an adoring crowd. They like me. Even with, you know, I've talked about it very briefly on the show, but my dad's got early on set Alzheimer's, and he's like doing super, super well for a 64-year-old. But definitely, like, parts start to go, but music, man. Like, that man knows every lyric to every rock and roll song ever, and that will never go.

Like, that'll be the last bit. that seems to stick the music. Yeah. And you see, have you seen that amazing video of the like 90 year old ex ballerina and they play Swan Lake and suddenly her hand is like coming up and like doing these like ballet

movements? Like muscle memory. Music's very powerful. So you can get it here on ZM. I like to think I'll be in a rest home one day and Superina Carpenter's tears will be what drags me back. And you'll be like,

Mad, wet, at the thought of you. Uh-huh. Okay, boys, run down my thighs. They'll be like, Mr. Smith, please, that's inappropriate. They're going to have to. Stop singing that at the nurses, please. They'll have to send the male nurses in for born. Yeah, yeah, yeah, they will.

You know what, they're not safe either. No. I'm up for trying things when I'm in the rest of time. Okay. Homosexuality and heroin. And I need another age because these things go in three. Hershey's kisses. She's kisses, I'll try them already.

Okay, good. Okay, so what, how, boo, now we get to the part. Where can anything slow it? I reckon, fact of the day, day, day. Come with me. Studies suggest you can delay or reduce the impact of brain shrinkage with aerobic exercise. Healthy diet. Lifelong learning and challenges.

No puzzles, languages, music. No booze. No drugs. Sleep and stress management. As long as I can manage them poorly. I'm managing to cram in as much stress as I can get. And I'm managing it all on very little sleep. And social connection.

Loneliness is actually linked to faster the client. Yeah. So apart from... I do do wordal every day. Does that count as a puzzle? Yeah. Apart from that... I think my socialising...

My socialising makes up for the drinking. Right. I don't know if it does. Yeah. Well, it's just said that socialising is very beneficial for you. I do a hell of a lot of it. Yeah, and even though your brain can get smaller, older adults who do all of these things

make more efficient neuro networks and you make use of unused backup circuits, which I'm all about the backup circuits. In fact, that's the only hope I have. The backups bring in the backup. You keep doing your word-all, you'll be fine. Today's, yeah, word-all, connections. I'm still very good at connections.

Yep, good. Very good. Oh, cool. And connections. Here, yeah. So today's fact of the day is, Basically, once you pass the age of 35, your old brain starts to shrink. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day, day.

Doodoo do, do, do do do do to do, do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do. Play ZDems, Fletchborn and Haley. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Haley. Jennifer Lopez. I don't know what accent. I was doing there. And IRIS Jennifer Lopez was talking on an American TV show

about her divorce from Ben Affleck from which they've actually both remained very quiet. It just happened. We all knew about it and then... From which they are want to do. For what they are, for as they are want to do. Get back together, get divorce, get back to get them. Exactly.

But I think this may be the last time because she said in one sentence, getting divorce from Ben was the best thing to ever happen to me. Ruthless. First time or second time? This time. This time.

She said, and then she went on, I helped me grow in a way and then I didn't know I needed to and all that kind of stuff. Yeah, she's a different person now. All that kind of stuff. But, man, summarising your ex by saying

divorcing him was the best thing that ever happened to me. Like, ruthless. But not like mean. No, it's not mean about him. But I do want to open this up a little bit. Okay. I have an idea.

I would love. I would love for people to message in and summarise their ex in one sentence. However you so choose. No names. As you are wont to do. No names. No names.

That's what I want to know. However you choose. Sometimes it's amical, but it could be a nice sentence. Fantastic father, just not for me. You know, that would be a lovely one. I don't think we're going to get nice ones. No, no, no, no. No, I just want to hear your ex

summarised in one sentence. Now we did ask on Instagram. We put up a question box. We can't read that first one. Short and walked bouncing off his tippy toes. That's what somebody... Mommy's boy. Give him a bit of height, do you reckon? Oh, maybe.

A short king. I'm just trying out that walk. Mummy's boy. Yeah. Small penis energy. Still being breastfed by his mother. There'll be a bit of that. Yeah, I'm assuming just mommy's boy and... Married with kids that I didn't know about. I don't know it

Wow, these are ruthless These are ruthless There is one we can't read but Yes So if you would like to text in you can 9696 I don't think anyone's calling for this Summarize your ex in one sentence We want you to sum up your ex in one sentence

Because Jennifer Lopez has done this Regarding Ben Affleck Their second marriage Dvorcing him was the best thing that ever happened to me Brutal Yeah quite brutal Some of these Again, maybe

Maybe too brutal to read Okay Such a nice guy to everybody else Oh, okay Mm-hmm Lives in a fantasy world Of who he thinks he is Narcissistic and deranged

Largely due to a screwed up upbringing evidenced by general arrogance, rudeness and sense of entitlement Wow, okay that is brilliant Spoiled dickhead Yep That's just sort of a summation of the longer one I just read.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Utermost, uttermost deranged waste of oxygen whose dad should have been, who should have upped his... No, no, no, that was... Don't read that one. Yeah, that's the most PG way of

they could think to explain him. This one's cute. Still one of my best friends. Oh, that's nice. Just trying to bring some balance. Womanizer and can't please one woman or stick to one, surprisingly. Lovely guy, would have been great of his family.

He didn't give me clinical depression and he got to stuck up for me to his family. left after 10 years currently thriving. That's two sentences, I'm sorry. Yeah, that's two. There's a full stop. Sorry, if you have to come back to us with one sentence there.

Yeah, next time we do summarise your X in two sentences. A genuine legend, if we'd stayed 21 partying and undriven forever. Oh! It was a compliment and went up and then it was a fat, wet slap in the face. That was good. It was brutal. He lives in a fantasy world of who he thinks he is. Wow.

That's, yeah, that's... Possessive Psycho with an obsession for computers. Someone said one sentence. How about one word, liability? Oh, good. Amazing Father, great human. It was just time to read a new book. Oh.

Oh, I love that. That's an interesting way of putting it, hey. Yeah. Terrible husband, great builder. Hungie pants. Wow. Haven't heard that for a while. Haven't heard that for a while.

Psychotic ginger that shouldn't own cats. Satanic demon. spawn from the deepest pits of hell. Wow. Okay, best of friends. He just preferred men. Oh. Give me back my $90,000, you lying, stealing, cheating,

narcissists. Okay. Wow. Okay, a lot of narcissists out there to summarize your ex in one sentence, what would it be? Yeah, we are... It's brutal. People needed a little offload, the text machine is giving. Okay.

Plozit gay. Sweet but sour, the side of selfish. Growing man that can't grow one, hair on his chest. Oh, that's not necessarily a problem. Saving on a lot of trimming and maintenance there. Oh, my best friend, great guy, and dad, but unfortunately felt emasculated by a successful wife.

Narcissistic, toxic, abusive, immature, lying cheater. Wow. Psychotically. That's a Rockwest band. Yeah, that is, yeah. Psychotically happy and bubbly at all times, turns out I'm gay anyway. Oh, okay. Yeah.

Undercover green card chaser. Oh. Georgia? What? Have you got what? Do you have an ex to summarise in one sentence? Bogan? Does that work?

That works. That works. I was going to go deeper, but it's trauma. Looking like Al McPherson doesn't make you a good person. Oh. And pig, someone just said pig. Condescending, no at all fun killer. Look at me now, bitch.

Wow. Overweight and smelly, but good and big. Cheers, Big Sandy. Big Sandy! Big Sandy's back. Big Sandy's been getting it in bed. Love it. Narcissistic psychopath, but good in bed.

A lot of narcissists. Lots of narcissists. But all of them seem to be good in bed. Good in bed. Just a wanker. A nice little cutey one there. Flakier than a flake chocolate bar? Oh, I haven't had a flake for so long.

They're such a mess to eat. They get everywhere. They're yum. So good. I eat them in the packet. I eat them in the packet. You've got to eat them in the packet. I just pop a little bit out and nibble that off. Stratles the fridge. I pour the I pull the... Oh yeah. You got a funnel it in. You got a funnel it in.

And then I always choke on it. Funnel the crumbs in. Guys, guys, guys. Guys, guys. Dried up crisp of tumbleweed rolling through an emotional desert. Wow. That's poetry. Whoa. That's really good. Very visual. Condescending, no-it-all fun killer. Look at me now, bitch. We've done that one. Just let me read that out.

Oh, I'm sorry. There's so many in. It's hard. It doesn't listen. Yeah, it doesn't listen. Leaving me and our kids was the kindest thing he ever did. Oh, yeah, nice. DJ. Yeah.

That's how I just put DJ. Well, you've had a bad experience with the DJ. 7 a.m. You'll be able to pick up at 7 a.m. I'll be there. Wasn't there, was he? Found someone better in the clubby. Found someone better than a 7.2. Mazda familiar with all the boys.

Someone said. Unkind, racist, anti-vax, Lego Destroyer. Oh. A Lego Destroyer? Georgia loved that one You go destroyer Imagine Georgia you've just put your heart and soul

Into a You know 15,000 piece of millennium felt Imagine And he smashes it That's insane Yeah Brad someone said Oh we said no name

Someone also message in just saying dead Dead Summise your answer I mean they did that was the brief. Summarise your wrecks in one sentence. Would rather go pig hunting before spending time

with the love of his life? Can't have been the love of your life. Maybe you loved pigs more. You know? Could have. I was just about to say you can't eat the love of your life but you probably should.

Yeah, you should. Always. It's 2025. Bacon, chops. Yeah. Pork cubes. I hope I never see you next Tuesday. Oh, okay.

Swooned hidden in there, isn't it? Norty, naughty, naughty. Norty, naughty. Shivers, guys, 10 out of 10 podcast, that one? Yeah. I think two of us were 10 out of 10 and one of us wasn't. Or who was that? Which one? We'll just leave that. We'll just leave that there.

Well, if you enjoyed today's podcast, give us a rating and review. Please do. Unless it's a bad one. Oh, yeah. Don't. Don't bother. Yeah, no, don't. Don't bother. Play ZM's Fletchhorn and Haley.