ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Big Pod - September 9th 2025

Episode Date: September 8, 2025

Kim' K's will stipulation Top 6 Values Winston Peters means Crimecon SLP - When do you join a virtual meeting? Germany's reserve of ravioli Biggest dating app photo turn offs VMA's wrap up What's your weird breakfast? Styling tip When did the internet do you dirty? Fact of the Day Hayley's neighbourhood have wind chimes To-done listsSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

From the ZM podcast network. This is Fleshwin and Haley's Big Pod. Brought to you by Chemist Warehouse. The biggest brands are the lowest prices. ZM's Fletch, Vaughan and Haley. Thank you, Bryn. Good morning. Welcome to the show, Fletch, Fawn and Haley.

What a day yesterday. What a bloody news, bullisham. I watched the news for the first time. Hey! The 6 o'clock news. Look at you go. The actual news. Simon Merceroy's on the spot.

On one news. He's always on the spot. Last night looked cold though, he had a be on a beanie on. It's uncouth for you to be on the news on the be on with a beanie on. Well, yeah, it wasn't a one news, bany, was it? No, it wasn't a one news? Was it a personal beanie? Just a personal beanie, I believe.

He's wearing a personal beanie on the news. I believe he just had to up and go, you know, just get down there. Oh, of course. Maybe it's a service station, beating. It had big service station being energy. He's been covering the Tom Phillips thing for years. Imagine if he'd been on annual leave when this went down. Imagine if he'd been on the sunny beaches of CG.

You would be pissed. You'd be pissed, eh. I mean, it's just insane. And it's in global news as well. I like on all the big news websites overseas, BBC, CNN. Yeah. Gosh. It's insane.

I mean, thank God the kids are alive. And that's really the only benefit. Yeah. It's crazy. It's a crazy situation. Does anybody else really want to see what the camp look like? Yeah, I want to see all the details. I want to see all the photos.

I'm, I'm, get up for the Netflix documentary. Yeah, I mean, that's another thing people have been saying, this needs to be a Netflix. I mean, Patty needs to do it, right? Bring back Montana Sunday, no feeder. Oh, it will be. You'd give it a bit of space for a couple of years. Yeah. Robin Malcolm can be the mum.

Robin Malcolm? Why? Have you seen the mum? There's nothing like Robin Melchon. It doesn't matter. Robert Malcolm could be like Nana or something. No. Robin's got to be the mum. We trust Robin with the wrong. Robin's got to be in it. Don't get to be wrong. She's always in it. It simply must be in it.

What about Morgana, you know, from White Lotus? Morgana O'Reilly could be the mum. She could be the mum. Chelsea Preston Crafer. I'm just banding some names about. Casting it already. We could do it full casting. Coming up on the show are the top six.

Winston Peters has asked that immigrants adhere to New Zealand values. So I've got the top six New Zealand values that Winston Peters means. It's coming up soon in the top six. Secret sound as well. It's a blitz day today. So from seven this morning, to five every single hour we're going to give you the chance

to win secret sound thanks to Neon so listen out for The Activator the first one coming up before the news at 7 $50,000 the Activator Next though I still don't have a will and this next story I'm going to share with you

has inspired me to get one Play ZM's Flashborn and Haley I've just tried to come to work and have a nice relaxing day and instead I've been harassed by my workmates about my lack of organisation of my life You've actually been, you've actually had quite a pylon today. I was, I was quiet in the corner when the pylon was happening.

You'll notice because I was just like, I feel like there's too much of a pylon. I mean, a pre-sex pylon. I am a little bit of a shambles at the moment, right? An absolute, you finally found your license. I found my license in my F-Boss card in a jacket. Honestly, I haven't worn for so long. You still haven't found your swipe card to get into work. I don't know where my swipe card is to get into work, so I had to buzz into the building,

which is an absolute pain in the anus. This building, top security. Yeah. It's such a nightmare to not have a... We must protect Mike Hosking. We must. At all cost. And then, for some reason, the issue of my will came up.

And then I said, what will? I so haven't done it. And we've been hopping on about it for years at this point. And I don't know who gets the house. I don't know. We literally got given a free will. Oh, just sort of go and whoever gets there first. First and first soon.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Well, you don't have a car fletch, so don't get too excited. All over. Orn's going to give you a ride if there's a house in it? I'll get an Uber maxi. I'll pile up all the taxidermy in the back. Because, you know, my children have always referred to as Auntie Haley.

Oh, have they? Have they? When they're like, shut up, Auntie Haley. You're keeping us awake. Anyway. You're too drunk again, Auntie Haley. Just get an Uber and leave. Anyway.

Dad, why is Auntie Haley pissing in the bush? Dad, why is Auntie Haley fall in the sleep in my bed? We let Auntie Haley do those things because one day we'll inherit her house. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. But isn't it mortgaged really badly? Would we be inheriting a legacy of debt? Yes, yes, yes, yes, we were children. She barely owns any of it at all sort of the bank.

And it's very eclectically decorated, specific to her stylings that would make a nightmare for resale. Yes, I know, children. Why she wallpaper the ceiling? That makes no sense. Anyway, listen, we're talking about wills because Kim Kardashian's will, some of it's leaked some details of her will,

including one stipulation that perhaps we could have a bit of fun with. Because when I die, I don't care. I'm all about wrap me in a bloody, you know, muslin cloth. Huck you in a kitten kit. Just put me in a farmer's duvet. Yeah. You know, like. Yeah, and shake it in the sack.

Yeah, throughout the buttons. Exactly. Synthetic? You want a synthetic? Maybe a mix, a blend of cotton and synthetic. Yeah, okay. Yeah. Or I've got the linen one at the moment.

Don't I've got a nice linen duvet. Yeah, that's going to be faded. That'll be too faded. It's already getting faded. Yeah, it's going to fade. It's going on the ground. It doesn't need to be. Natural fibre.

I was thinking of redone. buying my duvet, but in one of your washing machines? Absolutely not. I've got a fancy washing machine. You can't be doing that? Can you go to the laundromat and dye a duvet? Absolutely. But then does the next load get a bit of grey or black in there?

No, your problem. You're out of there with a freshly dyed duvet. Okay, because I was wondering that the other day when I put my duvet on and it was a bit faded. I could just dye this, but I don't want to do it in my machine. What color is your duvet? It's like a dark grey. Like a charcoal. Yeah, like a charcoal.

Chachol. So I just get a black. black dye, one of those black dye things from the supermarket. I have so many like cotton and linen things that have faded that I want to redo black. We should just do a couple of loaves. At the laundromats. Anyway, back to the will of Kim Kardashian. One of the stipulations in her will is that her hair, makeup and nails have to be done even if she can no longer communicate.

So if she's in a vegetative state, that her hair and nails and makeup have to be up kept. So what if you're in a vegetative state for most? many, many years. Well, then her makeup artist, that guy, will have to come in. The family will have enough money to keep her up. Yeah. I don't think they'll run out. I don't think that tap will ever run out.

No. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, but then I was like, I get it. She's, she, I don't mean vain in a bad way, but her appearance is of immense importance to her. Oh, it's her brand as well, isn't it? Yeah. Whereas for me, I would, I sort of want to put something silly in my world.

You know, like, give me like. like a kid's birthday butterfly on my face or something like that was Spider-Man. I'm not even a Spider-Man fan. But just give me one of those, you know when you see kids at parties and they've got the stupid Spider-Man face on? Or be buried in a full-blown

authentic Spider-Man outfit. Like have a custom mate. And then put that in your will and then like you... I want to be buried as Spider-Man. Yeah, and friends have to just do it. Fantastic. Could you imagine the difficulty

getting on a Spider-Man outfit in Rigamortis? Yeah, I can. The type that's going to be taught. So I don't care. Please follow my instructions. Respect my last will. Okay, yeah, right. And testament.

I mean, is this the time, like, because now I've got to do my will and I'm young and jovial, is this the time to do a silly will? A silly willy. A silly willy. A silly willy. I'm feeling like I might want to do some silly willies. That would be a great company.

The silly willy company. They only do silly wills. And you only do silly wills. Like, serious. Like, there's all the serious stuff. House and medical stuff. The house and all that kind of stuff. And then there's a silly willy bit.

The silly willy bit. I love that. And all your silly dumb. like funeral expectations and yeah what you're going to be wearing I think full Spider-Man fit Love that top six is next on the show The Top Six New Zealand values that Peter Woods

and Peter's mains When he says that new immigrants need to adhere To New Zealand values Yeah you know immigrants Oh Come in here's banging this drum again is he Yeah, tech in our gym Play ZDM's

Slash Vaughan and Haley From your local community Facebook page This is the Top Six Our, I believe our government-sponsored cousins over at Radio New Zealand, put it best with the headline. Winston Peters reheats policy of getting migrants to abide by New Zealand values. And they couldn't be, it is a reheated, stodgy old dish, isn't it? Every, what are we got in election soon? Yeah, we go.

We're next. This is boring shit, Winston. You need some hot new takes, not this reheated, racist, dog whistle, bullshit. He's, well, he's losing voters, isn't he? Because they keep dying on him. Yeah, they do. He's 80. Why doesn't he just go away? Just put your feet up, dude. He's got so much money.

Like, you're all good. Like, go away. You're not helping anyone. So just sit back. He said, if they don't salute our flag, where's the last time you saluted the flag? Oh, I have never saluted our flag. What a terrible flag. I wish we'd bring back, Red Peak. Red Peak. I still got a red peak

in the garage. That should have won the flag. Actually, was it last week it was X-Mexam. amount of years since that? Yeah. I saw that. Ten years. Ten years. I was ten years. I was 2015. Yeah, I believe so. God, although I was so, I was happy we didn't get that bloody sanitarium flag.

The Weepitz flag. The Wheatig's flag. The Keen Lockwood. I've seen that a couple of people still flying the old. Ken Lockwood? Yeah, me too. Every now and then, eh? Yeah. But let's have another flag referendum. That was fun. I want the...

Laser Kiwi? Laser Kiwi? No, the Tenuranga Teretetetang flag. The Māori flag. It's a beautiful. That is a beautiful flag. It's a good flag. Well, tell you what, it will never have. We'd like to think we're a bottom country.

Yeah, we're not, we're not. We're not. If they don't salute our flag, don't support our freedom of religion, don't support democracy, don't support a whole lot of those traditional New Zealand values, then why come? Roll of eyes. Salute our flag. So the vague thing is a lot of those traditional New Zealand values,

and that's what we're dealing with here today at the top six. I've got the top six New Zealand values that Winston Peters means. He means at number six adhering to New Zealand. Calinary values, like ordering pad tie, chalmayne, dumplings, tacos and chicken teak and masala, traditional New Zealand foods for traditional New Zealanders. I had a top tier pad tie yesterday. Yum. The New Zealand pad tie.

The name pad tie doesn't sound like a New Zealand. But it's a New Zealand dish. It was a Malaysian. It was a Malaysian pad tie. Oh, wow. And I was saying better than a Thai pad tie. Malaysian food is great. They should call it Padma.

I mean, the neighbors aren't they, so. I've had a bad tie. bad tie. I've never had a bad Malaysian. Do you know what? I've had multiple bad tie. Never bad Malaysian. You're right? Wow. You've had bad tie? I've never had bad tie. Oh, you know, just like a bland tie. Oh, yeah. It's not great.

Remember when there was a tie takeaways on every block. Yeah, I feel like it was what you got. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I feel like it's kind of faded. It has faded. It has. Number five on the list of the top six. I want some chicken sateau. I want some money bags. Oh. We should just get entrees. Mixed entree.

Always get it. But then if there's three of us, there's only two chicken sate skewers. We'll ask for a three person. We'll just pay for a half again. A half again. Yeah, and get a sate. Get a little cab. Yeah, yeah, different chicken sate.

Yum, yum, yum. Number five on the list of the top six New Zealand values that Winston Peters means that immigrant should adhere to us. Of course, the New Zealand way of staying fit using traditional New Zealand methods like judo and taekwondo. Yep. And, you know, those barathe. Karate.

What was that when you were doing that Brazilian dance for a while? for a while. A couple wetter. God, you got good at it too. I got really good. I could do little spins. So you flow. Yeah, I was like you feel like water.

But of course those are traditional New Zealand waste this day for. Yeah, of course. Number four on the list of the top six New Zealand values that Winston Pitt is means immigrants should adhere to is, of course, ordering a coffee. That definitely wasn't introduced to New Zealand by Italian immigrants post-World War II is the coffee culture that we know and love today. No, no, no.

Traditional New Zealand coffee growing right here in an environment suited to grow coffee, of course. Yeah. Because New Zealand's in the coffee bell. That's right. Yeah. We're known for our coffee. Yeah.

Number three on the list of the top six New Zealand values that Winston Peters means of, of course, enjoying traditional New Zealand festivals. Like DiVali, the Festival of Lights. Oh yeah, I love that one. The Lantern Festival around some people see Chinese New Year, but I'm pretty sure it's some sort of New Zealand New Year. We just do it later. Yeah. It's late New Zealand New Year. Late New Zealand New Year.

I don't know what this Chinese business is about. You know those sort of festivals that everyone enjoys and loves, but of course, definitely not by an immigrant community. Yes. Certainly not. No, no. That is New Zealand. That's Kiwiana. Yeah.

That is Qaeda. The Chinese Lantern Festival is Kiwana. Yeah. Number two on the list of the top six values that Winston Peters means when he says immigrants should adhere to them. Of course, he means finding moments of Zen and relaxation, gardening traditional New Zealand native plants like roses, daffodils and the like. And traditional New Zealand native vegetables, you know, like everything. Yeah. We don't know how lucky we are that all these plants just natively grew here and immigrants just should.

should be thankful to us. They should be. What have the immigrants done for anyone here? Yeah. They should eat them and say thank you. Thank you, thank you. Thank you, New Zealand. There's a flag. Don't forget the flag.

And salute that flag. Salute the flag. Salute the flag. Okay, old man. I'll put my hand on the heart to ruin the anthem. At the ruggers. At the ruggers. Not at home, but at the ruggers.

Wait, which sign is the heart again? I just go for the middle. Go over the middle and spread your hand. Kind of looks like you're trying to do cleavage, but also like you're definitely covering a bit of the heart. But if you're there, you might as well give them a squirt. Yeah, he's got a little bit of a tweak and a way we go. And number one on the list of the top six New Zealand values

that Winston Peters means immigrants should adhere to are seeking entertainment using traditional New Zealand methods like TVs, cell phones, streaming music, movies and cinemas all produced, market and of course sold here in New Zealand by New Zealanders, of course. Yes. We don't take any foreign entertainment. It's all homegrown. Yeah.

How dare immigrants look for amazing? God, poor Robin Malcolm wouldn't have. catch a break, which she'd be working non-stop. If we only had New Zealand content, she'd be in everything. She would be exhausted. And everything. That is today's top six. Play.

ZM. Fletch Forne and Haley. So, I didn't even know this was a thing, but Girlies, producer, girlies, my white women, unite. Who love true crime. We love true crime. We have to. It's in our DNA.

What you're about to talk about now, is it like the Oscars for true crime? Crime Con. which is apparently an annual event that we weren't aware of where true crime come together and they're holding an awards ceremony for true crime including all the ones we've watched on like the Gabby Petito thing all the things we've watched on Netflix all the podcast everything. I'm so here for this.

Do you think you'd dress up? I would dress up. Like as my favourite murder victim. I'd go as John Biddeh. You'd go obviously. Okay, I don't think it's fancy dress. I think it's like black tie. Yeah.

Oh, okay. Do you think this is dark, though? Like, even there is criticism of true crime, the genre itself, because... We're glorifying. You're glorifying, and people are making podcasts about these. We're like, I am living for this story. Yeah, like, it's wild. I don't know, but I don't know why we like it.

It's just sort of... We're into it. There's some weird safety I get from it. And as someone who is so jumpy and scared of everything, I just will sit there and there's something so calming about watching these things. And I know that is psychotic of me to say. Is that why you're so jumpy, though? Maybe, but I think I disassociate it from myself.

But I will re-watch some docos five, six, seven, eight times. Really? Yeah, there's this one particular one on Netflix, and it was about this couple, and it's called Till Murder Do We Part or something like that. Terrible title. I re-watched it yesterday, I would say for the 10th time. Really?

And I don't know what's... But there's so much true crime out there. It's the ending. Yeah, I know. So the winner of They have awards They're called the Clue Awards TV outstanding docu-series

A whole bunch of documentaries We've all seen Including Beauty Queen Killer But the winner was American Murder Gabby Petito on Netflix That was the controversial one Where they used AI to recreate her voice That's right

And she was travelling around with her boyfriend In the van And they were YouTubers And she was trying to be and she dead. So that, spoiler alert. We wouldn't really make a documentary

about it, you know what I mean? She's weird. She turned up and she was just like... There's a whole thing. So they just do these like huge awards. They get together. I don't know that if like, I've never been to Comic-Con.

I went to a sex one once. Years and years ago, my brother worked it. He worked it. Hold on. Your brother's working at a sex conference and you're like, yeah, I'll come along. Yeah, yeah. What's he doing at the sex conference?

He was getting at the sex conference. He was. giving out thing. He was just worked like a, like a promo person. Oh, wait, you're talking about erotica. Yeah, erotica. Do you remember that? I never went.

Yeah, yeah, I never went. Yeah, it was that. I went. I went with a mate. He was handing out stuff. The funniest thing happened, I went with a mate and his partner. And a girl came up to him in like, she was there promoting a local establishment. Dance establishment.

Okay, yeah, strip joint. And she comes up, she goes out, she's like, oh my God, great to see. you and his partner was just like but he knew he went to uni with her he wasn't frequent but man that took some explaining and I to be honest don't think she believed it I would do that as a marketing ploy but I've been like oh my goodness we see you all the time

yeah because it will make them single and then they will come they will come so we say but like at Comic-Con I've seen clips of it and then at the erotica expo there's stalls and stuff What are the stalls of true crime? Like Netflix has a stall and just has a TV showing trailers. Oh my God, come over to the Jean-Beney Ramsey's store. There's all sorts of merch.

And they're playing Katie Perry. And they're playing Katie Perry because your theory is, of course. That she is, yeah. Katie Perry is Jean-Beney Ramsey. Well, honestly, next year, it's in Denver. I'd go. Let's go. I don't know where that is.

Yeah. I'd love to go. Denver, Colorado. We could all go and get dressed up as our favorite murdered young woman. Play ZM's Fletchborn and Haley. Play ZM's Fletch Born and Haley. Silly Little Poe, silly little pole, silly little bowl. It is so silly, silly, silly, silly that a silly little pole, silly little pole, silly little pole.

Silly little pole today is when do you join a virtual meeting? These are the options. five minutes before the start time two minutes before the start time, right on the start time, or a few minutes after the plan start time. Oh, a few minutes after that's disgusting. No, no, no, absolutely not. Right on.

I watch and it will go click and I'll go join. Yeah, but then you're one of those people that you join at the time or after and it's like, oh, now you've got to update Zoom. Yeah, I get that. I've tried to drop in bang on time and it'll be like, update required for Microsoft team.

I'm like, I don't even know I had Microsoft Teams. Yeah, what is to me? No, you've got to go at least a couple of minutes before for that very reason. Right. But also it depends what it is. If it's a work thing, eh, but if it's like an online doctor, you want to be... Oh, whoa, yeah, if it's an online doctor. Come on.

I had a Zoom audition yesterday, and I pulled into my driveway with 60 seconds on the clock. Oh, wow. And I, in that time, ripped off my casual wear, chucked on a blazer, pulled out my hair, put on some eyeliner, and I got on right on the dock. and I love, I love, I've got to be on the dot. Yeah, got it on the dot. On the time. Well, okay, right on time is the most popular response.

52% of people said they join a virtual meeting right on time. Right on time. Second most popular was two minutes before the start time. Okay. Now that's two minutes, a small talk. Yeah, but do you have to talk or can you just be in the waiting room? You could be in, but you could go, you can turn the camera off and be like, oh, guys, hi guys, I'm here. I'm just, um, yeah, I'm just muting.

until the meeting starts. I'll jump in shortly. Five minutes before the meeting starts is 11% of people. So that was the third most popular year and last at 5% a few minutes after the planned time. That's so rude. That's so rude. You're rude.

Let's see what the people have to say. Tay said you've got to be fashion really late so people believe that you're a very busy individual. Yeah. Sorry, I've just come from another one. Just have a little bit of a puff. Yeah, let me just change mindset. Sort of as a little bit of a sweaty, sweaty brow.

Unless you're working from home, nobody's believing that. No. Well, that's, why else would you need a virtual meeting if you weren't working from home? Well, a lot of meetings are virtual now, aren't they? All at work, rather than walking 20 metres and getting a room. Yeah. Neve said, people who join after the start... Neve!

Isn't she growing up a wonderful girl? She's growing up. She's growing up. People who join after the start time are so annoying. because they are they often also the people that ask for a recap. Yeah, so what have I missed? To be honest, I wouldn't ask. Get on time.

I want to ask. Right on time, but I wait for someone else to start the meeting so I'm not sitting there by myself, said Janet. God, I haven't heard the name Janet for a while. Jackson. Yeah. Is that Janet Jackson?

Janet, I love you. Rocking Horror Picture show. Yeah. I saw Tim, Tim Curry talking about the Rocky Horror Picture Show yesterday. Yeah, he's not a while. Yeah, he's looking, yeah. Old. Yeah.

This is what happens, isn't. you get old. I think it's a 50th anniversary. For the Rocky Horace? We need to go to one of the sing-along show. Dude, I would love to. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I do so much fun. I work in Germany, and my German small talk is terrible. So I avoided it all costs, said Emily. And it makes people think I'm busy than I am. Yeah. So she's tapping in... Ompa, lompah, loompa. Doopati.

Yeah. I don't know if that said. Gooden tag. Ompa l'u de do. And just see what they say. I don't know if you'd have a job for much long. No, don't be, don't be-de-d-de-d-de-de. Steph said, if you're the first one in a team's meeting,

everyone invited gets a pop-up on their computer saying, insert name here, has started the meeting. I did it last week and got a company-wide meeting. On a company-wide meeting, and I haven't got over the trauma. So Steph logs in, it's like, Steph has started the meeting, and everyone's like, oh, no, I'm late because Steph's there. Oh, I don't see, Microsoft Teams is a terrible idea. Yeah.

Because if you're on time, you're late. So you've got to be there early. And if you're prepared and early, you're not going to be that guy. That's from Leisha. No one wants to be that guy. No nonsense, Leisure there. Lou, who those people who start early, increase small talk, and who are those people who join late?

Even more small talk. Do you think all these responses would correlate to how people board an aeroplane as well? I want to be first on the plane. Same. I want to get the good... We're getting overhead baggage. And then Vaughan's like, where do I put my bag? I just shove my bag in.

Yeah, and then you've got to go put your bag down the back of the plane. No, I remember the last time I passed that lady down her bag and I said you're not allowed to up there. Because you're a prick. She's the original prick. Actually, she was the OG prick. Yeah, I wouldn't have needed to be a prick if it wasn't for her. Yeah. Her prickness had a butterfly effect.

I've got a virtual sales forecast meeting every Thursday morning, says Earl. I'm jumping on two minutes early. It's the only time I see my work colleagues. Oh, that's cute. A little catch-up. And Lottie, cameras are mandatory at work. If you're joined too early and you're first on the screen, you get a personal shout-out, far too social for 9 a.m.

And on Monday, I like to blend into the masses. So there you go. That's waiting for somebody else to kick it off. Well, today we are. and silly little pole, when do you join a virtual meeting? And the most popular answer was 52% of you join right on time. ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Haile. German war reserves.

Thank God my grandfather's no longer with us. Really? Have you terrified to hear it? Yeah, I bet. German war reserves. But Germany apparently has a war reserve of Ravioli. Ravioli is interesting. Ravioli.

Why? Because of all the tension at the moment. It considers adding canned ravioli to emergency essentials. Canned ravioli So shelters. I mean they are, I don't mean to be rude. They are living right next door to the powder keg.

Yeah. They're kind of got powder kegs. But I'm sorry, but that's... Two powder kegs within, you know, into continental ballistic missile range. But like, if that's all you've got to eat in a nuclear fallout, there's worse? Like, is there, though?

There's worse. I'm just having a look at canned ravioli. We've got the packet, you know, what he's does. a ravioli in a bag. Yeah, but... Big eat, Watties does a big eat ravioli. I reckon after a week of

microwaving that or heating it over a fire you're going to be very sick of that. Well, I sort of... What's your alternative? Starving? No, probably blocks of Whitakers, to be honest. Oh, okay. There might be those in reserves as well. We're each in our own individual homes. Okay.

Having a war reserve. Okay. And it can only be one thing. You've got to consider longevity. One, does it have to be canned? It's got to be longevity. Long-life food. Long life.

Sizzlers. They are forever life. They are forever life. But what if you lost power? You'd need to keep them refrigerated. I mean, not really, but yes. When you guys do, you like your little camping sacks. Oh, man.

But you guys both like those, eh? If I, yeah, dehydrated camping food. I've never had them. Oh my God, there's an apple crumble. I mean, oh my God, the apple crumble is amazing. You make it in the bag, then you put the crumble on top. You just do dehydrated packets. In fact, we should all probably have those in like Civil Defense Emergency Cips.

But none of us do because we just never think it's going to happen, do we? No. And then it does. And then we're like, God, I wish I'd stocked up on those. Long Life foods, honey, white rice, dried beans, salt sugar and certain canned foods like meat. I'm not going meat.

I think I'm vegetarian for the war. What about what is spaghetti with the little sausages in? Yum! Okay, I think we've settled on that, have we? I can't believe everyone was on board so quickly. I was preparing my propaganda. Play ZM's Fletchbourne and Haley. Play ZM's Fletchbourne and Haley.

Okay, there's a dating app called Wisp. I don't know this one. Okay. But they have run a big survey of 1,200 people asking for their biggest photo red flags that make them swipe left. Right there, yes. Is it? Left is no. It's from the left.

No, from the right side to the left is left swipe. So you swipe to the left? No. No, swiping right or swiping left Swipe right? Yeah, from right to left is swiping left. But don't, it's not from where, just move it to... Okay.

Just keep it simple. Keep it simple. Just keep it simple. Left, no. You could be swiping from the middle to the right. Perfect. But that is left. To more left.

Left. So swiping right, good, swiping left bad. That's right. We've established this. Now I opened... Everyone knows this. I just opened up Tinder. I'm in incognito mode.

Don't even try looking for me. For those that have missed, are the news. Sprowler's on the prowl. She's single. After how many years? 14. 14 years. Since I was 21. And the first one was a hit. If your name's

Noah, you just got a swipe from left to right. Left to right. That's good. That's good. That's good. So this survey looked at the photos that turn people off. They give you the ick, that make you go ooh. I'll read what women said is a big

sin for men. And you've got the I've got the things that men found unattractive in women's photos. Okay. And let's just say, not really. It's not a deal breaker from any man's point of you. Let's be honest. As long as you're men see. Okay, yeah.

And then I thought the three of us, maybe while I've got Tinder open, and again, Noah, feel free to swipe on me as well. Okay. Now, are you going to swipe on that, is it a car? So, Mike is just a car, a lowered car. It's a lowered yurt. A 27-year-old lowered yute. He's getting a noise. Okay.

Anna. She dabbles. She dabbles. And by she, I mean me. Anna, nice. What's she doing? What's she doing in that photo? No, I was at a party once and somebody put, like, put, like, eardroped.

No, what do you call it? Screenshed there to the TV. To the TV and did it in front of a crowd of people. And I was like, that is so. They don't know. I know. Oh, the girl is to all the time. Because we just hand our phones to each other and you'll be like, I'll just take over for a bit.

Okay. Oh. Well, let's do it. Let's go through the list. I just don't want to be a step-mom. Yeah. So that's a nice. Anyway, it's good on there today.

Anyway, men's biggest photo sins, according to women. Jim Selfies top the list. Nearly two-thirds of women said that they are cringe and showy-offing. Wait, but if you see a hot guy at the gym, he's top list, you're swiping. You literally have. You've showed me this. Listen, this is not me. This is the people on Whisp.

Okay? Do you think it's a more of an intimidation thing than a... I will say when I see a ripped body I'm like, it's nice to look at but I don't want to date you because you're not going to be fun. All he's going to be adding is yeah, there's no pudding.

It's all just chicken and broccoli. Yeah, I'll be like, should we have a wine? They're like, I don't drink. Yeah, I don't drink on special occasions. Proteet shakes, bro. Yeah, I know, and I'm like, the special occasions is it's Tuesday bad back. So you want to see a t-shirt or just a bit of flab. I just like, oh, you know, like me.

I like a big boy. I like a little squish. Okay. So, yeah, they're saying cringe and showy offee. Close-up selfies, and I will agree with this. Like, dude, move the camera back. Dude, but that's because you're hiding your body. Like this.

And you're like, what part of you, Dave, made you think, Dave, that that is a good angle for you? Super up close. You're like, yeah, what are you hiding? Yeah, what are you hiding? What are we looking at there? Sunglasses and photos, huge, I totally agree with this. Blurry snaps. Like, could we have found another one?

Like it's 20, 25. Yeah. Cameras take, phone cameras take, even the cheapest phones take. Unless you had a greasy finger and touched the screen. Yeah, that's my pet peeve when you're like, dude, that needed a t-shirt wipe. Yeah, yeah, give it a wipe on the tea, dude. Group photos, totally agree. Because you don't know which one you're swiping on.

Yeah, yeah, and you're like... No, but if you know from a previous photo, it wasn't a group photo, nice, that he's a social fellow and look at his group of friends look like good dudes. Okay, yeah. Rude to assume, you think I've got hotter friends. Or if there's any girls in there, like, who is she? Well, the other ones, shirtless pictures, which, oh, you know, I don't care. and ones where an ex-girlfriend

has clearly been cropped out. I love that. That tight shoulder, tight shoulder crop. Yeah, but if it's a great photo of you, just crop her out. Crop the face out. What about when people put emojis over their friends or their exes?

Yeah, I love that. That's okay. I love that. That's better than cropping. Yeah, I think it's better than cropping. And then men posing with cars and selfies with messy backgrounds who are going like,

I'm not going to that house. Oh, because, yeah, look at it. Yeah, look at it. That's a muck. Okay, that's what the women don't like about the men's photos. Well, I'm going to tell you, woman's biggest photo sins for men on dating apps, and I'll tell you, like, none of these

are deal breakers. Men just had to find something to picket. I'm going to go from, they were armed. Men aren't picky. I'm going to go from the ones that aren't that bigger deal to the ones that they apparently found cringy. Croped X at 20%. 20% of men found a cropped X.

Cropped X. Croped X. Bathroom selfies, 23% found those a little bit cringe, but they just liked them. We're wearing sunglasses and cover in the face, 27%. We need to see those eyes. We need to see the eyes. Especially if it's brown skin and blue-green eyes. We're not allowed to talk about the movie we saw yesterday.

Oh, my God. We signed an NDA. Look at Carwood. I can't even say. Probably the most universally agreed hottest person, show hot person. We, across the board rolled away. I don't even know if we can say that. I think they can still us for saying that.

The three of us gasped. Yeah. Multiple times. And this dude spent 80% of the movie with the shirt off. Again, don't say anything. I'm not going to say anything. I was saying anything more. There was a very good looking boy.

It was actually the new Downton Abbey movie. Sorry. Sorry, Mr. What? You know Daddy Downton. Daddy Downton's got his shirt off because it's summer in England. Strawberry's and cream. And now he's black with blue eyes.

Yeah. Yum. Okay, so group photos. 32% of men found group photos a reason to dislike. A dirty or messy room, 34% of men. Who is putting up a photo on a dating profile of a dirty, messy room? Like, so many. I've seen, like, articles about woman taking photos

and just completely ignoring the insane mess behind them. 37% of men disliked close-ups. 41% of men disliked horse riding photos. Oh, because horse girls are crazy and we all know it. Horse girls do be crazy. But come on. But come on. Yeah.

Tight platinum, tight plat and jodpers? Couldn't be. 47% of men disliked women posting photos of them in yoga poses. Oh, boo-hoo, dude. She's stretchy. Boo-hoo, she's bending. Yeah. Boo-hoo, the legs go back?

And it was right at the top of the list. That's the third. The second one, overly filtered photos. 55% of men dislike those. And number one, at 59% was gym selfies. What's wrong with knowing someone takes care of themselves? I don't get the gym selfies that you're with them. Okay, you too.

Haley just spun her phone around. That wasn't even on the list. Yeah, I know. That was quite dislikable. Oh, guys. Well, that just do you. More cars, more cars. If you're also putting out there someone you're not,

by not doing any of these things, but these things mean a lot to you. You've got to be yourself. You've got to be yourself. Also, surprising there's no cars or fish on the list. Nah, on no cars. Oh, there was cars? One of them was cars for girls that don't like posing of cars.

In Britain, they don't have good fish. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They've got tiny weird pale fish. They'll be holding a little wee bass. A little bass. A fished out of a pond or something. Play Z-M's Fletchhorn and Haley. VMAs yesterday.

I like the VMAs. They're playful. The VMAs, used to be huge. Used to be. And they would always be a bit more avant-garde, do you know what I mean, rather than the Grammys. Fun, loose. Yeah. People get dressed

up. Yeah, it was cool. It was always like really good, like sketches and pre-recorded bits and pieces. Remember the 2009 MTV Movie Awards? Oh no, that was MTV Movie Awards, not the VMAs. That's Video Music Awards. Can I take it back? The VMTV Movie Awards used to be amazing. Oh, no, I'm not talking about those. I'm talking about the Video Music Awards.

Please. Does MTV even play music videos anymore? No, I don't think they have for like 25 years. Weird prank shows. So some of my favorite moments. So Mariah Carey won her first VMA. She got the Vanguard Award for like career. Oh, okay.

For the Christmas song? Three decades of being. Does she go? She went. And then she just called them out and was like, why don't it take you so long? She's doing this. Did you see one of the best parts about Katie Perry going to space? And she was like, who?

And then they were like, oh, she went, what did she? she did, and she went to space, and Mariah Carey's like, I think I've done enough. Like, would you go to space? And she's like, I think I've done enough. I've done enough. I love her, right? Out of control. Yeah, she said, like, I can't believe I'm getting my first VMA tonight for 35 years in the industry.

I just have one question. Like, what were you waiting for? And then Buster Rhymes, who by the way, Buster! I love him. Buster Rhymes also called them out. He got an award and was like, cool. I've just been going for so long. Like, it just meant nothing.

Buster Rimes would be a good Friday flashback. Also, are they the only people that are going, people that don't currently have Careers? No, no, no, no. Sabrina was there. She took out new artist, your best album. And she did a great performance of a new song.

Tears for the first time live. Here it is. She had a lot of RuPaul drag race stars dancing with her and staff and dedicated it to trans rights. And then Ariana Grande was also there. But my favorite moment of Arianda Grande was when she was watching the Ozzy Osbourne Tribune

and it was Aerosmith and Young Blood, you know, that young, punky guy. What is, what, I feel like I needed Gen Z to explain Young Blood to me. He's so cool. Oh my God. He's like the new, he's like the new hot emo boy. Right. And we're all like in love with him. Okay.

Me and all the Gen Zs. Me and my fellow Gen Zs. Yeah, yeah, sure, sure. But the whole time, because Aerosmith, obviously Steve Tyler, like amazing voice. Arrow Smith. Erosmith. Erosmith. Erosmith.

Arrowsmith, Erosmith, Erosmith. It's like, look, Erosmith. Why does she keep saying Aerosmith? I don't know. That's the person that makes the arrows. Yes, it is. Aerosmith performed with Youngblood. And the whole time she was like, like holding up her hands and like drawing the floor and was just going like, what, what at the talent.

Yeah. It's absolutely amazing. And in place of Stephen Tyler of Aerosmith. No, no, no. It's Stephen and Erosmith and Youngblood. The Old Blood and the Youngblood. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the guitarist from Black Sabbath.

It was amazing. Jeez, Louise. And then the weirdest is one of the weirdest one of the. The weirdest moment's from the red carpet, Doja Cat is like applying lipstick and everyone's like, cute, she's doing a little performance and then she just eats her. She ate lipstick.

Was it one of those... I was it one of those things where they cut through and it's actually cake? I love those. And then the weirdest part was they also cut Doja half. And she was a cake. It's a cake. It's a cake-eat cake world.

That would be interesting to see the cake's walking really falls you. How far away away from a cake-covered Boston Don't even if that's robot. Yeah. So close. So close. Is it a robot?

Is it? Is it? Yeah. Lady Gaga also accepted artist of the year. And then she was like, I wish I could stay and enjoy these performances, but I've got to get back to Madison Square Garden to do her whole show. Yeah, wow. And so everyone's just like, isn't she just the absolute best? So also, do yourself a favour.

My final thing that I loved is Tate McCray did a dance. And it was perhaps the sexiest, horniest thing I've ever seen. So wrap the right. A big day at the VMAs. Big day at the VMAs. Play ZEM's Fletchbourne and Haley. I want to know now if you're listening, if you have a weird breakfast,

something that's not the norm. Not your oats, not your eggs, not your smoothie. Yeah, it's not cereal. Maybe you have it a lot. Or maybe it's just something you... I mean, sometimes you start breakfast with dinner leftovers, mince.

Or do taco mints. Which is, I mean, I guess it's just... I love leftovers to breakfast. Yeah. It rules. I mean, I also had a chicken salad once. for Bricky at like 5 a.m. Yeah, see, that's good. That's healthy.

No, but, okay, this is why I ask if you have a weird breakfast, if you're listening. More than a million Gen Z Brits admit that for breakfast, six times a week, they have chips. Hot fries. Fries. Yes. And like the photos that they use in this article,

like they reference a bunch of TikToks, like loaded fries. Like baked beans and cheese. Yeah, so they have like fries on the bottom, and I'm assuming they're air-frying them at that time of the morning. Yeah, well. And then bake beans, cheese, bacon or meat patties. Well, it sounded crazy, didn't it?

But now you're just describing a full English. Hash brown. You're just drawing a breakfast and the chips of the hash brown. Why is it not weird that we have hash browns for breakfast, but then it's weird that you have chips? Because of the shape. It's all in the shape. We can have a potato disc.

What do you call them a rusty? Yeah. Or a hash. Yeah. Which is just a big fat potato chip. Or what's the one you get, you know, sometimes we go out for breaky, a hash, like cubed potatoes. Or shredded potato that's fried.

But if that potato was in the shape of a chip, now we're like, why have you fries for breakfast, you fall? It's weird, right? It's like, my kids who don't drink hot drinks, they'll have a Coke at breakfast. And they like, people always think this is weird, but really, I'm just switching out a hot black drink for a cold black drink. With caffeine in it.

And a lot of caffeine. It's got sugar, but people have sugar in their coffees. It's hot. It's a once they put forward the ice. Yeah, I don't know. Someone just texts in, yes, Coke for breakfast. Yeah. Okay, well, this is a question I want to know

because the stats here from the UK, and also not just the Gen Zs as well, pretty much all age groups. It does trail out. Only 1% of boomers having fries for breakfast. Wasn't it, like, the whole cereal for breakfast thing's not right? Even though we grew up, you know, you've got to state your day with cereal.

No, you've got to stay your day with fat and protein. Yeah, ideally protein, yeah. Big grain. Healthy fats. Big rain really got in the old mind there. Well, this is what we want to ask this morning. Do you have a weird breakfast? Do you maybe get judged for your choice of breakfast?

How many messages coming in already? Okay, great. 0800,000m. Call us, you can text through 9-696. Can I, we want to know right now, what is your weird breakfast? Because a lot of people in the UK eating chips. Yeah, more than a million, especially Gen Z Brits, admit to having chips for breakfast six times a week.

But can I, before we carry on with this, enjoy. fun and relatable phoner. Yes. Shout out to Torrance, who is, it's her birthday today. She's 18 and her mother messaged us to wish her a happy birthday and we will. Happy birthday Torrance. Happy birthday, Torrance. That's a great name.

It's such a good name. Lovely name. Are we doing birthday shoutouts? We're doing birthday shoutouts. Just a very special one. Okay. Because her and her mom really enjoys being in the car with Torrance and driving her to school every morning, listening to us, having a laugh, laughing out louder.

Are they bonding over us? They're bonding and her mom is like sad that now that. she's 18, she's going to be leaving high school that they're not going to get to do this every morning. You know? She's growing up. So she's only got like one last, well, there's going to be holidays soon

and then one last term of high school before Torrance is no longer the origins of the word Torrance, Gaelic for Little Hill. Oh, little hill. Our little hill is turning into a big mountain. She's turning into a big mountain and leaving home. She is turning into a moonger. So her mum says that she is a kind, loving young lady

and we all love her so much. We're going to miss the school drop off next year. She says, totally fight with her growing up. I'll send a box of tissues I've stolen from a hotel. Yeah. That's good. Mommy loves you Tori.

We call her Tori. I love that. That's a great name. All right. Happy birthday, Torrin. I'm with weird breakfast. Weird breakfast. What do you have for breakfast?

That is weird. After the stat that so many Brits are having chips for breakfast. We asked on Instagram, got some responses here. Eelin is Swedish. Caviar from a tube and boiled eggs. And I know my fellow Swedes will agree. And good more to all of our fellow Swedes. Heavy R from a tube?

Yeah. I don't like heavier. Fish eggs from a tube. Yuck. I don't know. I'll do tomato paste from a tube or toothpaste. Oh my God, I love sucking it a little bit of tomato paste from the tube. Laura, two minute noodles on toast was my go to as a teen.

A lot of carbs. For breakfast. Cubs on carbs. Yeah, that's calm on carbs. Salmon patte on toast is pretty top notch, says Aaron. My dad has cake for breakfast on weekdays every week. Cake. What do you mean?

It's a, because have you ever gone to like a hotel breakfast buffet? and they have like all the eggs and the beans and that but then they have cakes yeah it's so weird that's weird eh I love Georgia texting saying I'm judging people for having hot chips for breakfast like oh while I'm sitting here eating a piece of Whitaker's caramel brownie

and that's fine William your weird breakfast what is it it's chicken porridge with a fried egg on top okay wait a second okay no no no no no I'm not off I'm not off I'm on wait I need to know how you're preparing this So you have oats. He's making porridge with chicken stock, you son of a gun.

No, no. So it's porridge, just as you normally would. With milk? No, no water. Yep. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Throw some cooked chicken in, heats of salt and pepper, and then a fry an egg on top.

It's delicious. Yeah, I'm kind of on board, dude. William, I think, what if you made slow oats with chicken stock in, like, the slow cooker? I haven't tried that one. Because then you're getting extra chicken flavoring. It's too chicken. I'm not against it because the oats are really good for you.

Yeah, lots of protein from the chicken. And then lots of protein and the egg, yeah. Energetically, I get it. Like, we are feeding the body? William, are you a gym bra? Are you a gym bra? I wouldn't say I'm a gym bra, but I was doing an eight-reg challenge at the gym-use. Yeah, yeah.

This recipe was the result of that eight-way challenge. How'd you go? Yeah. How'd you go? We've done okay in them. Give us some stats Dude, you've worked hard, you're eating this weird porridgey breakfast

You're loose and white, get some... We're stacked? Yeah, we're stacking up. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, fuck it. Round of applause for William. William, dedication.

Love that, we love that. Thank you, William, my man. So let's say, when I go to Bali, I have chicken porridge for breakfast every day. It rules. Okay, do you know what? I'm open to it. Big Sandy's messaged in. Kielder.

Dart and a blue V gets me, bloody, going. Oh, God. Have a great day. Thank you. I do you know, quite a few people vouching for the leftover buttered chicken for Brecky, and I've done it. Could not agree more. I'm sorry.

Save the bit of the narn. Yeah. Roll it up there. Mopper up. I don't hate it. Oh, no, I hate it. Oh, you've got to heat it butter chicken down. Nah, eat it cold, dude.

You don't eat a cold but it goes real thick. It's so yum. At 7am, I have slow cooked beef, roast cummerer, roast potatoes and a green like a silver bead or a pineapple. And pineapple. apple. After a gym workout. That's actually how, that's actually like protein. Great way to start the day.

That would be a great. And you would say hungry, you wouldn't be hungry for a while. No, a proper meal. Why are we having our big meals just before bed? Yeah. That's correct. I had Rissals for breakfast this morning. Morning tea is going to be a boiled egg.

Yum Rissals. You fart, so at lunchtime I'm going to be pretty rank, my little. I bet your office workers love you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Um, eight weight bucks and a liter of milk. A liter of milk. I'm a little bit, boy.

I'm the thing we're going to be a great. growing boy on our hands here. Yuck. Was he 18 playing rugby? What are you putting on that wheat bags too? Because you have to put something with wheat bicks to make it palatable. Yeah. So I'm a high school health teacher this morning for breakfast.

I had a cookie time in a V. That's all right. Do as I say, not as I do it. Breakfast quite often a Vietnamese, fuck. Very yummy way to start the day. Brothy, warm. Great way to start the day. Yeah, but a lot of noodles in there?

It's a lot of carbs. Oh, but if you're getting a bit of chicken in there, a beef. And some good stock in there. I'm going to make some more. Bone broth. I was getting on the bone broth bus driving to work. That was a great way to start the day. Yeah, absolutely. It was like the meat juice, you know.

You know, like the meat and my juice. Normal breakfast. Please don't say that again, even. Meat juice. I don't call it bone broth. I call it meat juice. Oh, I like it. Normal breakfast every other time of the year, but at Christmas it's got to be Pav or trifle, first thing in the morning.

The trifle the next day. Yeah. And it's like, oh, sogged. Yeah. Play ZM's Fletchbourne and Haley. Play ZM's Fletchbourne and Haley. There is a fashion stylist. Stylist?

I don't think you have to say fashion stylist. I think you just say stylist. Yeah. She has shed online a styling tip, and this is something that I do all of the time, is if you have something in your wardrobe, and you never reach for it because you don't know how to wear it. Okay, you're talking to two guys here who just rotate.

Hanging my t-shirts. This king over here is going to hang your t-shirts. Got myself a little extra real estate in the cupboard, and I've hung my t-shirts. Yeah, baby. Game change it. Oh, yeah. How great is hanging your t-shirts is amazing.

Hang your t-shirts, make the room. No, I don't hang mine because the things that need hanging are more important. And this is why a lot of guys have an entire walk-in wardrobe to yourself and there's still no room to hang a t-shirt. There's still no room for my clothes. Because you wear T-shirts quite often. Yeah, I know, but I... I mean, we had the guy in from design a wardrobe to sedate-a-and-batlet, yeah.

To have a bit of a, what do you call it, a... Clean-out of the wardrobe and makes a funny. Intervention was the word I was looking for You need to just get some Because this is why a lot of guys can't hang their t-shirts There's no space Because the women take it all up With our shirts and dresses and jackets

And blazes and coats The woman take it all The no more job real estate No room for t-shirt hung Anyway Fletch Can you please play Ava Can you please play the one of takes it all

In the background please You know I hate Abba I know you and your mum hate Abba The girls want it I hate Abbett No It takes it all It's over against one.

No, Abba should be banned. Can I play it? No. It's homophobic. Stop being homophobic. Why is it homophobic? Do you want to be a homophobic? Yeah.

I didn't think so. No one wants to be homophobic than 2020. I will today if it means Abba's not being played. And borderline racist. Wow. I hate Swedish. And yeah, no. Oh, he's racist as well.

What a bigger. This is actually a hate crime. Please. We are not. Just in the backhand. Stop it. The girls are happy. No, let the Gen Zsies be happy.

Let the Gen Zs. I've got nothing else. We've got no houses and no houses. Don't you agree with any of this is her best vocal performance. I wouldn't disagree. I don't want to talk. Why don't you let us hang our t-shirts? I want to hang my shirts.

They get a tigli-out. I don't like a food in there. Wait, what is the tip? Did you tell us a tip? No, because now, sh. I don't. want to talk. Okay, Karen, we've run out of time.

No, no, the styling, oh, it's 8 o'clock. Okay, the styling tip is, if you don't know how to style something that's in your wardrobe, go back to the original, like, you go and look at it on the model the way that the designer has styled it. And then you see how the model's done it? And I do this all the time, mostly with shoes? Oh, yeah. I'm like, how do I style these new dot-martin but motorcycle boots that I didn't need?

A lot of websites will just be like, buy the fit, and you buy the whole thing. Yeah. Yeah. So you're looking at this dress being like, huh, I don't know, go look it up, and the original listing will be there. and you can see how they've styled it. You'd be like, oh my God, with a cap and some boots? Yeah, but they're always like real hot.

I know. You know, and then you buy it and you're like, you're like, I don't look like the model in any of this. This is why more brands. Shout out Ruby, they do this. They show it on a smaller body and a bigger body. It's so good. Yeah.

No, shush, shush, shh. We've run out of time, unfortunately. No, you're kidding me? Zm 50. Play ZM's Fletchbourne and Haley. Want to know now when AI or Google has done you dirt. because you've googled something and AI you say a bad word

about my beautiful friend Alan. That's what I call my AI. Yeah, you're actually going to be one of those guys that falls in love with your AI chat bottom. I love you, Alan. And we're going to have to intervene. It's going to be really awkward for Haley and I to say he's not a real person.

Yeah, hon. These are my latest AI searches. Immigrant contributions to New Zealand if you miss the top six. Oh, yep. Cobbler versus pie. What's a cobbler? What's the difference between a cobbler and pie?

What is the difference? So a cobbler is basically, like, what? You would make sort of a pie filling. It doesn't need a crust on the bottom like a pie. It could be just in a dish. Like, that's how my mum makes apple crumble. She makes the apple and rhubarb in the bottom and then puts a crumble on top. But a crumbler is different to a cobbler because a cobbler is supposed to look like cobblestones on the top.

You go, and it's like dough, like scone or cake batter, blopped on the top. So it looks like cobblestones and then you bake it. And that's why I'm making cobbler tonight. And that's why it's a, okay, right. Sorry, I just went cobbler is in the shoe. And I was like, I don't know why we're even comparing those. Well, I mean, my experience has definitely been with AI that sometimes it is not right. And sometimes it'll give you some results and you're like, I know for a fact that's not true.

And then when you ask it, it's like, oh, yes, sorry. It's like, well, hang on, wait. You're supposed to be all knowing. Yeah, you're supposed to know these things. And the reason we ask is because a travel influencer has gone viral because she asked chat GPT if she needed a visa to get into port. Puerto Rico and chat GPT was like, no, you're fine, girl. Hunt, Hon.

They were like, Han, you enjoy that bad bunny concert in Puerto Rico and she... Hell of a place to see Bad Bunny. Yeah, and his home. Yeah, exactly. And of course, that's when she realized that she, when she got to the airport, the airline was like, where's your Esther to enter Puerto Rico? Because it's one of those, it's not an American state, it's a territory. I don't know how it works.

Like, they won't really help them out if there's a disaster. Yeah, right, right, right. They'll give them bare minimum. Yeah. But, yeah, they won't let them be independent. It's one of those weird kind of, yeah. But, so apparently she did manage, because you can turn around in Esther pretty quickly. She did get it in the end, like, at the airport, but she was like, do not trust chat GPT.

They've done me dirty. At least, like, do a double check. Do, do multiple, keep asking questions, giving it more details. I think it's good for general info, but if you need to rely on something like a visa, I'd run another check. In regards to the internet doing you dirty, there's like those places where it's like this is a beautiful spot for a photo and you see the photo you're like, that's lovely.

And you'll travel there and you'll go there and there'll either be like this massive line of people that wasn't shown or it's just like really shitty. Yeah. But it was like perfectly framed to like frame out the dump behind it. Oh! Yes. We've got some good ones here.

Okay, well this is what we want to know this morning. 0800 dars at em is a number. 966 to text and when did AI or the internet do you dirty? This is so good. Somebody, where was she traveling from? She was traveling to Puerto Rico. She was South American. She was South American.

She didn't know, but she needed an Esther, which is what you have to have like a digital thing before you go into America. Very easy to sort of happen. Also, for anyone needing that if you're traveling to the US

and ask you to put in your social media account name and password, you don't have to do that. Because that's when they go through all your messages, and if anything says Trump, good luck getting in. Oh, yeah.

The internet did my ex dirty She told me she was going to visit her family for Christmas And on Christmas morning I saw online on Facebook Her dad posting Happy Christmas I wish my daughter was here Hips Hips You gotta fill these people in

If they're a crucial part of the lie You gotta fill them in I love this Oh wait where was it It made me laugh a lot The internet did me dirty when Google Translate was very new and I had a Spanish boyfriend.

I tried to be cute and write him a card in Spanish and all it did was make me look like an absolute tryhard. It didn't make any sense at all when he read it. It was just like, huh? Were the words just in the wrong order? Because I... My lumbri he made... Sorry, puppy.

My mum decided to do a staycation at a hotel based solely on the amazing pool photos that they had on their website. She got there, and those pool photos were taken at another of the same hotel in a different city. I used this one, this one. I used AI to create a document for IRD, and it calculated our yearly earnings to be way too much,

and we got a huge bill. Okay, yeah. AI done you dirty. Also, you can't just do something like that, like that's really important that it's based on numbers, and then just send it away? I asked chat GPT the other day how I should split my mortgage, and then I was like, why am I getting done?

It gave me a conservative option and a more playful one. That's cool. Yeah. Playful mortgage. Yeah, yeah. When I put in how much my mortgage is, it was like, holy Jesus. Hey, you want to have some fun with this, mate. Otherwise, it'll give you a crippling anxiety.

It'll wake up at 2 a.m. in the morning and ruin your entire day. Literally all the photos of the Trivia Fountain online shows no crowd, literally a huge crowd. Oh, at the Trivier Fountain. It is impossible to visit that place with no one there. You try to chuck your coin and then you'd get hit by a thousand other ones. More coins. Similar experience checked AI if I needed a visa to go to the UK and it told me I didn't. This is correct, but it failed to mention that I needed ETA, which is technically not a visa.

So AI was right. I think this is what happened with this travel influencer, because an Esther is... It's an entry document. Yeah, it is. Yeah. I love, Dr. Google's told me I'm dying a few times and you'll never believe this. I have not died even once. Really?

I know that's a problem when you Google or AI any kind of symptoms, right? Yeah. Somebody else. Oh yeah, another translation one. That didn't work out well for me. Ended up using some very profane language, apparently. So I'm told. Somebody else said, it's important when translating to know that Portuguese and Spanish are different languages.

And different countries. They are. Completely different. Yes. Do they have anything in common? Sometimes, but not really. Yeah. They said, yeah, I just use that.

completely did me dirty. I was preparing myself to drive in Europe as I'd never driven on the other side of the road. Chat Chepti was telling me all sorts of incorrect information about what way I should drive around to the roundabout. I reckon just get to the roundabout and just do what everybody else is doing. Yeah, but if no one else is around and you start going to live in Europe.

No. Then it doesn't matter if no one else is around. Oh my God, Chet-GPT, sometimes you wonder if it's got it in for us. It has given me the most wonderful chocolate cake recipe. And it taught me how to cook that ox tongue. Yeah, I know. It's given me great recipe. See, I trust it for food, but I don't think we should be trusting it for visa and travel advice just yet.

No, or I-R-D, anything. AI-diagnosed gallstones after two years of chronic pain and doctors not knowing what was wrong with me, and I had my gallbladder removed within three months, and it's all gone away now. Okay, well, then... You can call back on when did the internet do you good? Don't tell our friend Dr. Shawnee that the internet's going to replace them. The internet also just doesn't go to six months sojourn to Europe and leave all their patients high and dry. Like our friend Dr Shorty, who still isn't home.

Who still isn't home? You miss him, don't you? I miss him. I miss him. You miss him. Please come home. Play ZDM's Fletch, Vaughan and Haley. Play ZDem's Fleshworn and Haley.

Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Do do do do do do do do do. This week's fact of the day theme is companies that had different names. Massive companies. Yesterday was Google. It started out as back rubbed. Weird. Not in a creepy way.

It sort of like rubbed the backlinks to rank in importance what you were searching for. But also in a creepy way. It brings to mine a man coming up and been like, you're tied in the shoulders there, aren't you? Oh, I've had that before. Oh. Yeah, and I said to Fletch, that's inappropriate. Yeah, and I was like, Clech style.

And I said that's actually inappropriate And my shoulders are real tight And why aren't you touching me? Sure The least touchy out of all of us Yeah So actually I literally came up behind you yesterday Vaughan and gave you a back rub

You did I went like this And they put my thumbs and that's true Felt good though I'm tight in the shoulders I know but I'm sorry I actually You probably are looking at these shoulders thinking those are nice round shaltz

I don't know if I was Yeah I didn't cross your mind What about these? I hate it I hate it My pet peevers when he pumps his pecks at us

It's actually inappropriate in the workplace Please stop Get a little bit of background Stop please stop Today I want to tell you about blue ribbon sports Any guesses on what blue ribbon sports And what they became Blue ribbon sports

Stop now because I think you're probably guess And I want to play out of the story In 1964 University of Oregon track star Phil Knight Oh I know I've read the Nike book Bok, I've read his box. You literally just said it.

You've spoiled his fact of the day. Now, apologize to your brother. Give me a shoulder rub. A shoulder rub apology. Shoulder rub. His coach Bill Bowerman, found in the company called Blue Rib in Sports. They were distributing Onitsuka Tiger Shoes.

That's a Japanese brand that is nowadays known as ASIC. So there's a double. Wow. Asics used to be known as Onitsuka Tiger Shoes. They basically imported high quality but cheaper shoes and sold them out of the back of Phil Knight's car at trackmates. Yep.

They're like, check out these shoes. And how much is that? This is when people used to wear like converse and stuff to run and play basketball. It's so bad. Wild. Yeah. As it grew, they wanted more control of the design and they'd ask for designs. I know Onitsuka, Tiger shoes were just like, sell what you're given.

And they were like, you know what? Screw you. 1971. They launched their own brand. They need a new name, of course, because of course. Blue Ribbon Sports doesn't really roll off the tongue as well as Nike. So what is Nike?

What is a Nike? Nike is the Greek goddess of victory. Oh, I didn't know that. Yeah, that's where the name Nike comes from. Other options on the table include Dimension 6. Wait, what did she win? Everything.

Yeah, but has she got some, like, has she done good in the hurdles? Yeah. Then she got framed certificates. Did she win, like, the NBA one year? No way, there wasn't an NBA. No one for her wings. Oh, she had wings. So that's unfair.

She's going to win high jump. Oh, of course, she's going to slam dunk it. Flying up through the net. She's the daughter of Titan Palace and sticks. Wasn't he in charge of the river or is that with the river sticks? I loved the bloody, I loved classics at school because it was just like wild story time. Yeah, it's just fantasy.

And then vases with doodles on them. Yeah, yeah, and orgies and orgies and orgies. Like a little half goat people trotting around feeding people grapes and slapping their bums. The half goats in the middle of the orgies. Yeah, and they're just like, get out of here, half goat. Yeah, you're not a welcome here, half goats. Are the half goats eating the teetail off the washing line in

Yeah, get out of here. Get out of here. Goats are trying to have a grape-fueled orgy. So Nike just won heaps of things. But Nike was the name they settled on. Even though Phil Knight's personal favorite was Dimension 6, and everyone else was like, dude, that name sucks. Oh my God.

It would never have become what it. Falcon was another one. Bengal was another option, but they settled on Nike because they liked it, was short, punchy, symbolic, and people who knew about it. Now, the Swish was designed in 1971. The famous Nike Swish by Carolyn Davidson. You've probably heard about that.

She got paid $35 for it. That's right. But they gave her Nike stock in the company after it took off. Oh, poor graphic designer is always getting screwed over. I know. I just drew this. Hey, can you just do my wedding invites? Hey, you know how to use Canva, eh?

I just got a little wee little wee favor. They called my wedding invitations. Yeah. Yeah. And then I'm going to pester you about this for the next four months. Yeah. And I'm going to have. so many requests for changes.

And I know I said I wanted that font, but I've totally changed my mind. I like it as a starting point. Yeah, I don't know how to tell you. It could be better, but I will just say it could be better. Yeah. So today's fact of the day is Nike,

not always known as Nike. It started out as blue ribbon sports. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day. Dit-Did-Did-Did-Dip-Dip-Dip-Did-Dip-Di-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D. Play Z-M's Fletchhorn and Haley. Tell you what, the weather is turning. Spring be spring-in, you know? Spring hath sprung.

Because yesterday, it was just a beautiful day. It wasn't at your house. That doesn't mean it was someone else. No, no, no, I know. I'm celebrating my own win here. Yesterday was, weirdly, universally fine in the entire world. Yeah, no matter where in the world. Right.

Perfect. All the storms. All the storms were at sea. The equator had no power. Okay. At all. It was beautiful in Auckland yesterday. And I got home and the sun was shining.

And I just thought, oh my God, I'm just going to sit outside. I ate lunch outside. It was just a lovely way to spend the afternoon. And very peaceful where I live. I've chosen quite a peaceful. The one thing I wanted when I chose where to move to was I wanted to be the loudest person in the neighbourhood. Well, you've achieved that. I've achieved it.

That's fantastic. Thank you. And I came in, day one, I'm the loudest in every which way. So I was enjoying the peace and quiet yesterday on my deck, and then I heard a familiar sound. A sound, I want to say, I haven't heard... Oh, please tell me the neighbours have had a baby. They have had a baby, but no, that's not the issue.

The sound of a babbling young bub disturbs me not. Okay. It was a familiar sound. It would be familiar to those particularly who grew up in the 90s in maybe early 2000s, a sort of clong, clon, I know this. My parents have these. Ooh, wind chimes.

Are we in Bali? My hair went like this and I thought, we got wind chimes of the wooden variety. And I... Wooden? I... Donk, dong, dong, dong, don't...

Yeah, that's... Don't you get me... Could you bring me up some... Some don't... Are they bamboo? Oh, I still listen to ABA. Why are you still listening to ABA? I just kept going in the background.

And to be honest, I want them to have the royies. I also want you to lay all your love on me. I hate Abba so much. You do hate Abba. It is a homophobic crime. It is. Just play it for me because, honestly, in the 90s, every household had these. And it was such a fine.

No, we didn't have time for wind chimes. My parents aren't winchime people. My neighbours are people of class. Everything about their house, classy. Like, it's just really nicely done. You know, not as garish as mine. Like, it's just very nice. And look it, lovely.

Here it is. This is the sound that caught me yesterday. Yuck. Dude, do you know what? This screams, if you don't think they suit these, it screams gift that they feel obliged to hang out. Do you think maybe family's visiting and they're temporary, this is my hope.

That it's a temporary windchime erection. It's a temporary sort of tick in the box of, Shannon says I kind of love them. Yeah, because you didn't grow up with them. Yeah, you didn't grow up with them, keeping you awake at night. This is what I heard, and I think that my neighbours have installed wind chimes.

Oh. Is there a way, like, do you know when you see those people at the park or the domain in there trimming the hedges or pruning and they've got the really long prunes on a stick and then they have a rope and it lops the blade. This is what I'm thinking

and Vaughn you might be able to help me here I have, we share a hedge but it's on my side of the fence but it kind of backs onto them Yeah, the windch on by the It's by their garage and the tops of my hedge need to trim and I was going to employ the services

of my friend Vaughn Allen Smith Right, it will be super obvious So do you think Bro, are you like, I don't mind, but it's, we're just going to say it was an accident. Like a terrible wind chime accident where you slice through. Yeah. Right. What about if you just snuck over and put some like rubber bungs on the end of each of them?

They'd notice they'd be like the chimes they ain't chiming in. Put a pool noodle. Put a pool noodle around each one. I think they'll notice the pool noodles. Pool noodles are always a discreet color. But like bright blue. Do you think if you looked at your wind chimes and they had someone to put like rubber or protective of bungs around them that you could be mad you'd almost be like

someone said to me what are you talking about i love the sound of a wind chime do they prefer a bamboo wind chime or a metal winchime i think at least a metal can we hear a metal wind chime and then can we hear a bamboo yeah yeah yeah that was probably a bamboo one there that was definitely wood no more piercing more it gets the air more i think i kind of prefer this one though than the wood. I'm like shall I

oh yeah someone just message in outdo them and you get a metal one and we'll chime off

do you know what would be metal get like six of them and then just see how they like that because my

I've got I don't have a lot of trees in my house but I've got my massive ones right near their fence

I'll hang I'll decorate the whole tree with chimes yeah but then I still lose now I've got both gone oh god

you see no this is what we'll hear if I do a chime off I can't be no because I'm suffering

I'm still suffering. No one's getting to sleep with this. No one's winning. Is it by your bedroom or the other side? No, but it's disturbing my peace while I'm outside. Do you know what I mean? So you can't hear it in the bedroom. Even though the, yeah, I make quite a lot of noise outside.

Yeah, even though you listen to like heavy metal and, you know, what some would say, horrible music. Yeah, they're probably sick of that. I'll say my neighbours of class and they don't give me big metal vibes. Yeah. So I might hit their wooden wind chimes with some, um, Yeah. Metallica today.

Are you, like, so arrogant to think that maybe this isn't a retaliation to you? Oh, do you think? They're like, we are sick of her. Let's chime her out. Always yapping on the deck. Always having a bloody hooey out there. We'll drown her out with them. Well, would chime her indoors.

Could be a retaliation. This is war. Play ZM's Fletchhorn and Haley. There are things on my to-do list that have been there for three years. Okay. If you've been listening since the very start of the morning, will is one of them. That's one of them, yeah. Do a will.

I am a homeowner. I need a will. Oh, I can tick that off. Done. How big is your to-do list? I've stopped making them, and so instead I just let my brain forget things. When do you curate your to-do list? On reminders.

I do mine on notes. Yeah, post-it notes are good. But reminders just is notes with bullet points. I would just not see reminders. You can tick them off. Well, I sometimes will look at my to-do list, and I'm actually learning I'm quite easily overwhelmed, and I will look at it and be like,

and then just close it and do nothing instead. And it's quite often because you say yes to everything. Have you noticed? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then so everything else gets left behind. The candle burneth, the candle is ablaze, right? So this, I think, would be good for me. Someone has shared, instead of making a to-do list,

and then getting to the end of the day and looking and be like, I didn't achieve anything because the list is still long. Make a to-done list. And at the end of the day, instead, write a list of all the things you did achieve. To-dun. To-dun. To done that, right? So today, we could go, at the end of today, we might go, woke up.

No, I think it's got to be, fed oneself. No, I think it's got to be, like, something more than your usual. Emailed, sent off that email. Email. Responded to email. Did an email. Yeah, did an email. Okay.

booked an appointment. Yeah. I'm sorry, but. With all the time it takes to do a to-do list, you could have... Should you just to-do your tasks? You could have done something on your to-do list. This is a positive, a log of accomplishments, they call it,

and completed tasks. Functioning is a reverse to-do list to boost productivity and self-worth by focusing on achievements rather than things we didn't achieve. No, but why don't you just look at your to-do list and all the things you've crossed off of that and feel a sense of accomplishment from that? Actually, I haven't crossed off anything. And so what I need to do is say,

the day wasn't a failure. Right, okay. There's nothing on the actual things that need to get done. Eight, drank water, ate some more. Drinking a letter of water, are you kidding me? That's going on my two done lists. Watch TV shows, sat on the deck, relaxed. Yeah, relaxed.

Took care of one's mental health. Yes, engaged. Yeah, rest, I'll call it. Okay. Not slobbing on the couch. Resting. I rested. I looked after myself.

I don't know about this. Well, I think you should try it today. And I think you will look back, because you run a, you've got a good structure, a routine. in your life. And I think maybe you'd take it for granted that you're actually taking, you're doing a lot of great things for yourself during the day.

Right. If at the end of the day, Fletcher, you could reflect and go. Done it. Done this. Done this. Done that. Done that. Did it.

I done it. Done it. You could put names on there. Done that. Someone said they'll sort your will. 350 plus gist. Surely. I still hoping to get a free one online.

Thanks for the offer, but I sort of want a free. That's great person with a law degree, but I'm just going to let chat. GPD her this one. Oh, I'm busting for a wheeze after that podcast. I'll tell you. It's a podcast. You are allowed to listen to it while you're weeks.

There's no rules on when and where you're allowed to listen to a podcast. It just says here, I'm busting for a wheeze. I read it. Okay? I read it. Give us a review. Play Z-M's Fletchhorn and Haley.