ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Caller of the Week - 17th October 2023

Episode Date: October 16, 2023

During today's Impossible Phoner we asked "Were you Presumed Dead?"Our Caller of the Week, Callum called up about the time he was presumed dead...See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Treat yourself to McCafe coffee with MyMackersRewards. The impossible phone-in topic asking the question today. Have you been presumed dead? There was a woman whose social security number reveals that she has died. For years she's been fighting to say, I'm not dead, I'm alive. Also another man was declared dead at hospital but then woke up.

Have you been presumed dead? Not impossible. Callum, good morning. Good morning, how are you? Good. Now, have you been presumed dead? Yes, I definitely have been presumed dead, mate. What happened?

You're alive talking to us on the phone right now. Could be a ghost, though. Are you a ghost? Definitely not a ghost. Ghosts can't tell though. The iPhone doesn't realise it's been touched. Yeah, it doesn't have a fingerprint. Okay. Yeah, fair point. So who thought you were dead? So my

parents thought I was dead for about six months. How? So my sisters My parents thought I was dead for about six months. Whoa! What? Yes! How? So my sisters were in a bit of a tiff with my parents at the time, and they weren't really getting along. And I was living in Wellington while they were in Christchurch,

and my older sister actually called my parents up and told them that I'd died. What? What? Can? Just a word? Can I just pause? Because when I have a tiff with my parents, I don't tell them one of my siblings is dead. Yeah, that's exactly right. But it would be Philip, right?

Oh, absolutely. They'd just ring him and check, though. Your brother's telling me you're dead. Wait, did they want to go to your funeral or anything yeah well that was the next part is um yeah my sisters and stuff told them that they've already had the funeral and that um my my ex-girlfriend's parents didn't want them there what what what i'm gonna say this and in the nicest possible way, Killam. Your sister sounds like a crazy bitch. No offence.

She definitely is, mate. Your sister sounds like a top-level, red flag, crazy bitch. So how did they not? So for six months, how did they? Well, did you just not call home and see how they were doing? Yeah, I was just busy with life and work. And then I was like, wait, I haven't heard from my parents for a while I wonder what's going on I gave them a call up

And mum and dad are like, you're alive? Okay, maybe This is the best story I've ever heard Maybe we gave away our caller of the week No, we didn't I think it's just a double It's a double We're just going to do another caller of the week

It's a double Wait, wait, wait There's so much to work out here So, were they our caller of the week yesterday too. I think it's just a double. It's a double. We're just going to do another caller of the week. It's a double. Wait, wait, wait. There's so much to work out here. So were they, what was the fallout of this? My parents don't really talk to my sisters anymore.

Are they dead? You should tell them they died. You should tell them that your sisters are dead. This is wild. Dead to them. So they never...

Your parents were just like, oh, my God, this is terrible, and what a mean ex-girlfriend not letting us go to our own son's funeral and not telling us, and oh, well, we'll just leave it be. No, they were kind of like just, yeah, running around, calling up all our other family, seeing if they had heard anything from what I was told, and then they didn't really know anything to go off so my parents kind of just presumed yeah they don't

i mean so what a few days and a few phone calls later your parents are like ah well if somebody said that um your friend is dead you're not going to pick up the phone and call them are you you're just going to be like oh phone and call them, are you? You're just going to be like, oh well. Yeah, they're dead, I guess. You don't think to call them exactly, they're dead. No. If someone said to me, Vaughn's dead, I'd be like, oh my god, I'm devastated. But I wouldn't ring you and be like, hey, bruh.

Would you not call? I'd be like, I'm calling here a voice on a voice. I'd get drunk and I'd be like, I'll just ring their voicemail. Ring, ring. And you're like, hello? And I'm like, ghost tape? Hayley? This is insane. So how did your parents react?

Were they really upset when they heard the news? Did they cry? Were they beside themselves? Oh, yeah, my mum was absolutely in tears and my dad was trying to just gobsmack day. He was just like, what the fuck's going on? How had they told him that? We'll allow it.

It's a wild story. How were they told you died? Like a car accident? A drowning? Yes, stabbing. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. So you were murdered. You're not dead by your own hand or dead in an accident.

Someone murdered you. And your parents are like, fuck your ass. You were just stabbing him in the potty door at the time. And my sister told him that that was me. Oh, my God. And your parents are never like, well, we better fly to Wellington and get justice for our son. They're just like, look, the police will take care of that.

Stabbing him in the potty door. There it is. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. So, Callum, when you rung them and they said, oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. So, Callum, when you rung them and they said, oh, my God, you're alive, like, what happened? Were they happy or just like, oh, hey, son?

Over the moon. I pretty much went down there that weekend to see them. Oh, my God. And just reassure them, look, look, it's really me. It's really me. Oh, my God. Your poor parents have been through the wringer. And we've nearly been doing this for 20 years together.

This is the wildest phone call I've ever had. It's so incredible. Just that your parents are like, this is terrible news. Oh, well. Oh, well. He was a good kid. Were you the sort of person that would have got stabbed? Like, were your parents not being too surprised

that you were on the receiving end of a stabbing? Are you in some gangs, Calum? Are you a rat bag? I'm definitely not in some gangs, but I will say, at a point in time, it wouldn't have been unpeculiar for me to get stabbed.

Yeah, right. Single greatest sentence ever. It would have been unpeculiar for me to get stabbed. But Calum, you're so nice. But wait, I've got so many questions. When they were ringing around the friends and relatives

saying he's been stabbed, they were just like, oh, okay. Yeah, well, my sisters didn't really give out much more information and didn't really answer their calls after that, so they were kind of just stuck. Why do your sisters hate you so much, Callum? You sound like such a lovely man. Oh,

I'm not sure why they hate me. It may not have been peculiar that they hated him. It may not have been peculiar that they hated me. Callum, we've already done

a caller of the week this week. It's only Tuesday. We don't want every day. We're doing a second caller of the week. $50 McCafe voucher for you from our friends

at McCafe. Callum, enjoy life. enjoy your second chance at life yeah dude I definitely will congratulations that is well

so many messages and texts but nothing is going to beat that story at all oh my god hey remember how you just gave that

Uber driver five stars because you wanted five stars back yes let's do that Uber driver five stars because you wanted five stars back? Yes. Let's do that with this podcast. Oh, yeah. Review it five stars, tell your friends,

and we'll do the same for you if you ever need a review for anything. But where are you giving me my five stars? Well, I don't know. Do you own a restaurant or something? Yes. If you give us five stars on this podcast, tell us where you would like your review, and we'll review.

We won't even go. We'll just review your thing. I don't want people to know where my restaurant is. I'm doing one of those secret restaurants. Oh, I was going to say, because that's exactly the opposite of how restaurants work.