ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Caller of the Week - 27th October 2023

Episode Date: October 26, 2023

During today's show we asked " What's the Craziest thing you've seen on Public Transport?", Luna called up with an unbeatable story! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Treat yourself to McCafe coffee with MyMackers Rewards. Right now though, we are talking the craziest, weirdest things you've seen on public transport. Yeah. A woman in Columbia was waxing her legs. Yep, with those red made wax strips. Luna, what is the craziest thing you've seen on public transport?

Luna. Oh, morning on public transport? Luna. Oh, morning. Good morning, Luna. Sorry, I heard the beep and I was like, that must be me. That's you, babes. What's the weirdest thing that you've seen on public transport? Oh, well, okay, brace yourself. So I'm from England.

I met my lovely Kiwi now husband over there. I'm living in Cornwall. Just been on a cheeky wee date, getting to know each other and whatnot, this and that. Hello. And get on the bus on the way home. All quite nice. A couple of girls get on.

Girl number one and girl number two, I'll call them to keep it easy. Girl number one is absolutely trollied. And she's, I need a wee-wee. I need to go. I'm absolutely just hanging on here. And girl number two's like,ied and she's i need a wee wee i need to go i'm absolutely just hanging on here and girl number two's like no no no just wait we're gonna be at a toilet real soon we work we're in the middle of nowhere yeah anyway so girl number one's like nah that's it can't do it so she rips off her undies pops her knees against the front seat

and just absolutely goes for it so no it gets bus. So, you know, it gets worse. So we're like, oh, my God, this is right next to us. Like, we saw everything. And so girl number two's like, no. And in the meantime, anyway, they're sitting on vodka. I think they were drinking out of this bottle and having a merry old time. You don't need any more of them.

She doesn't need any more. I know. Girl number two was relatively sober at that point, but now moving on, she's not. Girl number two. Right. Girl number two now needs to take a leak. So girl number two, oh, no, no, I'm absolutely hanging on now.

Oh, I'm going to have to do the same. So she rips off her undies, pops the squat against the seat in front of her, and absolutely goes for it. So me and Timmy are just sitting there like, what are we watching? This is just chaos. At this point, there's a river running down the aisle of the bus.

Oh, oh, oh. And the bus driver turns the corner and it's like a river wave and everyone's like, oh my God. And then it gets even worse. A group of guys get on. They've had a lovely night out. They're pretty, you know, they're married.

They're not too drunk. But anyway, the girls are like, it's beer, like pointing to the aisle of wee-wees down the middle. And anyway, something happens. I can't remember the context, but one of the guys is like, odds of licking the floor. Oh, no! Luna!

Luna! And the guy loses the odds for whatever reason, gets down, starts poking the wee tongue out, gets closer to the ground. We're like, don't! Don't do it! And he doesn't listen to us and he licks the bloody floor.

Luna! I know. And then it gets worse. No, it can't get worse. We're like, bro, that was actually, that was wee-wee. You should probably go see a doctor or something. I don't know. Anyway, so then we're telling all of our pals about this, like a week or so later, like, oh, I can't believe what we saw. This is out of control.

Poor Timmy, just, you know, lovely wee innocent Kiwi. Never seen anything like this in his life. I'm from London. Sin a bit, but anyway. One of our friends comes along, and a bloody hell drink, and he's got with him the two girls from the fricking bar. Oh, no! And he puts it up in front of them, and we're like,

no, Ryan, you don't know what she's been doing. Did you say something? Did you say that? Were you like, oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God? Yeah, well, she was like, I recognise your friends from? Did you say that? Were you like, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God? Yeah, well, she was like, I recognise your friends

from the bus and that made it even worse because then we were like, oh my God, did you tell him what you were doing on the bus? And then Timmy's like,

I need to move home. Take me back to Aotearoa. We need to leave this country. We did actually come to, we did move back, so. I don't blame you. Look, Ivan,

call her in the week. Call her in the week. Call her in the week. You've won a $50 McCafe voucher thanks to our mates at McCafe. Well done, Luna. And I'm sure,

I'm sure our buses are way better. Yeah. Comparably. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, it's much cleaner, yeah. Yeah, she. This is so gross.

I can't believe that, Luna. Oh, my God, poor Luna. Thank you. A couple of quick text messages in. I don't think we're beating that, though. People are manky, man.