ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Christmas Cocktail Special - 15th January 2025

Episode Date: January 14, 2025

On Today's Christmas Cocktail Special; This one will make you say OMG HAYLEY NOSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

For a few years in the 1970s, the Mr. Asia syndicate made millions. Heroin creates its own market. It acts like a form of plague. Until jealousy, betrayal and murder brought it all crashing down. Clark would have threatened him. Go and kill him. If you don't, I'm going to kill you and your wife and your son. This is Mr. Asia, A Forgotten History. All episodes now available on iHeartRadio, Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to the Christmas Cocktail Special. Our big pod and live show is back from the 20th of January. Cannot wait.

Hopefully it happens. Who knows? Don't you start. If the rumour's in the old newspaper or anything to be believed. Oh, my God, I know. I read scandalnews.co.nz. Scandalnews. Scandalous news.

Oh, my God. Just search Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley on scandalnews.co.nz and read for yourself. Brianna is a 27-year-old from Australia but relocated to Glasgow, Scotland earlier this year. Merry Christmas. Happy New Year. Thanks for the podcast.

I genuinely feel like we're friends and have known each other for years. Sad, I know. Well, we are genuine friends. We are genuine friends. I think you can hear it. I think it comes across with Brianna when we talk. I think it comes across for sure.

But now being overseas, it's so nice to have your Kiwi accents and laughs that connect me to back home. Well, stop doing your fucking stupid accents. We've been to Glasgow. I love Glasgow. We've said this many times. It's a cool city.

Very cool. Nicest thing that's happened this year. Someone said, sorry, Brianna said, how does anyone answer this question? Actually, I know. I became an auntie this year and I met my beautiful nephew. Oh, that's normal. That's how people answer it, Brianna.

But it's a lifetime of Christmas presents, isn't it? Yeah, it is. Don't worry. You wean. Yeah. You go that's normal. That's how people are. But it's a lifetime of Christmas presents. Yeah, it is. Don't worry. You kind of, you wean. Yeah. You go hard when they're a baby toddler, new, and then from eight till 14, don't bother. So keep, no, but, so wait, I'm not bothering this Christmas? No.

No, no, no, no, no, no. Yeah, you skip the boring years. Okay, good. It's going to be ripping the plaster off when they're like, where's my money, Uncle Fletcher? Yeah, no, no, no. You don't do it through those years. Get a fucking job. Yeah, who the fuck do you think you are?

Don't talk to me like that. Yeah. Yeah, good. I'm going to say that to my face. I'm going to start that this year then. Great. What a lovely new Christmas tradition. Brianna said her naughtiest moment of the year was not her fault,

but I accidentally bowled over a blind lady and her guide dog on a bus. Oh, my. On a bus? When the bus took over and I fell back onto them. Oh, my God. Oh, no. She just wouldn't have seen it coming. So much better than if.

Oh, Hayley. Oh, Hayley. Hayley Jane. You go to hell for that. Yeah. Oh, see you. Yeah. See you, guys. Hayley Jane. You go to hell for that. Yeah. See you. Yeah. See you guys.

Hayley Jane. Sorry. Unless the car had dots on it. When I first started reading it. Was that too much? She didn't get hit by the car. Brianna got onto the bus and it took off. Oh, the bus driver.

Okay, so the bus driver. Way worse story if Brianna was like, I accidentally bowled over Riley and her guide dog as I am a bus driver. Okay, so the bus driver. Now this is a way worse story if Brianna was like, I accidentally bowled over a brown lady and her guide dog as I am a bus driver and then that would have been worse. She got on the bus, the bus took off, she fell over and knocked over a lady with her dog. Jesus. Imagine writing into a podcast back

in your home country and be like, funny story, I ran over someone when I was driving the bus this year. Yeah, yeah. Not my fault. Yeah, no, that makes sense actually. Makes more sense. Makes more sense. Much more sense. And also something that's slightly easier to laugh at rather than... Can we just pause?

Shannon's keeping notes. What? And the note she just wrote was Hayley cancelled. Canceller. Yeah, you're cancelled because you said that dots thing. She said F26.

You said the dots thing. She said they wouldn't have seen it coming. I'm the only one that's clean. F26. And then she ruined a start time, and then a little bit down she wrote Hayley cancelled. Yeah, because you said that she didn't see it coming. I'm just saying she wouldn't have.

Actually, that's her thing. That's kind of her thing. She can't see. That's why she got the dog. Why else have a dog? Yeah. Anything else she said? Thank you. I wish I could be there for the Christmas special and drink too.

Well, you can at home. Play along. I wouldn't though because it's over a month and that's a lot of drinking every night. Rachel is next. She's 37. She lives in a beautiful, thriving metropolis that is Featherston. Oh, that's where my parents live. And I once called into the show.

Well, give them your address. What's your parents' address? Turn them on. You know it. It's the big villa on the corner. 87th School Road. Yeah. I once called into the show a long time ago to tell you about the time I taxied him in my hamster, Duke

Fluffington. Yes. There you go. I remember that. I remember. Can I please have a shout out to my mate Simon Wallace who is living his best life in England. I miss his gorgeous face around the office and I have a brilliant time with our friend Tara who's visiting. There are no offices in Featherston. No, he's

Oh. No, she lives there. She probably works in Wellington. Oh, right. Okay. There aren't offices. It doesn't say she lives with him. He might live in Wellington. I know that. I think she lives in Featherston and she's got a friend that lives in Wellington.

No, but they've worked in the office together. I miss your face around the office and I hope you have a brilliant time there. I think she comm in Featherston and she's got a friend that lives in Wellington. No, but they've worked in the office together. I miss your face around the office and I hope you have a brilliant time. I think she commutes like my dad did from Featherston over the Remotuckers every day.

That is such a drive. Madness. I know. Absolute madness. But you would for the lifestyle. It was a lovely lifestyle. The lifestyle, when you get over there,

it's really late. You've really escaped from the city, darling. And it takes you two hours and then two hours back. No, it's one hour, darling. Too long. Blimey road. Nicest thing I've ever seen then two hours back. No, it's one hour, darling. Too long. Windy road.

Nicest thing I've ever seen bumping into Vaughan on the beach at the Mount. Oh. Were you topless? I would have probably, wow, I don't know. What time of the day is it?

I'm pretty sun sensible. Did you have that thing, you know, that snail trail of pubes kind of tapering off? I'd say so. Yeah, hot. Trimmed or not

when you're at the Mount? Lightly trimmed. Lightly trimmed. I can't remember. I hope you were for Rachel's sake. Yeah, I hope so too. I do too. We've all seen you when you've gone full Bosch. It's a lot.

Yeah, it is a lot. But, you know, that's life. Naughtiest moment of the year. My naughtiest moment was saying to my friend at work, sorry to bother you. I know you are balls deep in work at the moment. Highly unprofessional. And I meant neck deep. Balls deep is great. Up to your neck with work.

Not neck deep. I think you say up to your neck with work. Yeah, not neck deep. I think you say up to your neck and work. Sorry about that. I feel like that's something we'd say to each other as well. Balls deep, I know. Yeah. Anything extra? She said, love you guys.

Love you too, Ellie. Love you too, Rachel. I don't know you. We're going to be back next episode with- Are we starting to double up on these ones? We are. Dana, Ollie, Sophie and Ruby. Oh, we're getting big fatty episodes.

Not our guests that have written in. I just mean that we're doing more. Because we've worked out we've got how many more to record? We need to do 30 and we've got a few more pages. So get ready for some bushy boys.