ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Christmas Cocktail Special - 21st December 2024

Episode Date: December 20, 2024

On Today's Christmas Cocktail Special; we're back with a cocktail in one hand and your shout-outs in the other! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

For a few years, in the 1970s, the Mr Asia syndicate made millions. Heroin creates its own market. It acts like a form of play. Until jealousy, betrayal and murder brought it all crashing down. Then he just pulled out a gun, shot her in the back of the head, and then said to Wayne, you're going to help me bury her. This is Mr Asia, A Forgotten History. All episodes now available on iHeartRadio, Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Sledgeforn and Hayley's Christmas Cocktail Special. Hello and welcome to the Christmas Cocktail Special, the very first episode. We are back from holidays with the Big Pod on the 20th of January. Should we start off? You suggested a prayer, Vaughan. Yeah. But I thought maybe a cheers would feel more appropriate. Yes, lovely. I've whipped us up a batch of Aperol Spritz. Cheers. Lovely. Cheers, Shannon. Cheers,

Carwen. We've literally just rolled straight in from work. We had breakfast, a late kind of a brunch after work. We had some PDFs, the JPEGs. Oh, we did a lot of admin. At breakfast, it was admin every breakfast. Can I just say, I like to think of myself as

an independent woman, but I really appreciated the way that the men stepped up in my life in that moment. Yeah. I threw a little panic setting in. Yeah, I was panicking. And that's when I will actually do work. Yeah, when a woman begins to panic. Or when anybody begins to panic. Now, over the lasticking. And that's when I will actually do work. Yeah, when a woman begins to panic. Or when anybody begins to panic.

Now, over the last month or so, we've asked you to send in your shout-outs, and we have so many shout-outs that the stapler at work was unable to penetrate in a single instance. It's holding on. So we've got about five or six staples holding in our sheets of paper. Those staples are defying gravity.

It's time to... I just want to start by saying that we will be holding space. Yeah, we're set up in my lounge again, in my apartment. We've got a giant, lovely charcuterie board. The producer girlies have put this together. Round of applause. Now, what do you notice about this? No meat.

No. Fuck, because Carwin's made it. Oh my God, no meat, because Carwin's a vegetarian. Wait, I'll sort this together. Round of applause. Now, what do you notice about this? No meat. No. Fuck, his carwin's made it. Oh my God, no meat, his carwin's a vegetarian. Wait, I'll sort this out. There's no fucking meat. I didn't forget about that. Wait. There's no meat.

If he just... We're going to have to eat the cat. Slop a rolled roast in the middle, that would be if he overcompensated with meat. Oh my God, he's got back up salami. Oh my God, he puts them in little baggies. Is this from Monday? Is that Van Kirk's? No, it's really good meat.

It's leftover from Troy Sivan. It's doing that thing where it's kind of going grey because it's cooking itself. It's slowly preserving itself in its own acids. Look, it's just one sheet. It looks like a big tongue. And that's two different types of meat. I made a great charcuterie board for Troy Sivan

earlier in the week. Really good. What did he think of it? He came up and he was like, oh my God, this is such a sick charcuterie. He looks like he doesn't eat a lot, to be honest. I know, we'd be like, oh, sorry. No, look, Carwin's made this board to look like a Christmas wreath.

It's lovely. That one would hang on the door. Really lovely. Now, okay, we're ready to get underway. It has been tough as we mentioned to help out you with your PDFs. I just had to run down to the dairy downstairs because Carmen ordered tonic. She ordered soda.

She's passing the buck directly on to the person. Where's the receipt? Yeah, she's blaming the supermarket delivery person. They did the click and collect. Yeah. But then they just get the youngest kids to pack these things, scoot around. At that age, I wouldn't have known that soda was different to tonic.

I know, and they can't smack them anymore. Sparkling water and soda water are the same, eh? Yes. Yeah. Some of them just have the bougie right amount of sparkling. Yeah, I know. I don't know how they do it. Like that.

Yeah. Yeah. Hold on. I feel like there is a difference between sparkling water and soda water. Because sparkling you must have to hit

certain criteria. But you wouldn't take a big 1.5 litre soda water to the gym. Criteria of sparkling versus soda

water. Great. Aperols. What do you think about my ratios, Fletch? Because I know you're specific with your aperols. Okay, dudes.

Really good. There is a difference. Okay, well, both soda water and sparkling water are maybe infusing. Still, spring water with carbon dioxide under pressure creating the fizz. However, soda water is further infused with bicarbonate of soda. So it is different. Which is baking soda to help the drink hold its bubbles when spirits are added. This means soda is slightly fizzier than sparkling.

So should I be adding a teaspoon of baking soda to my soda stream? Just two of normal water and it would work the same. I thought by the taste of the water, you were already adding baking soda. Oh, here we fucking go. It's been not even five minutes in my water. Baking soda flower. I've got some in my drink bottle here.

Listen to this. It's like a thick shake, isn't it? If it keeps sucking, you'll get a little bit. It's not that bad. A very baking soda. Can we just go back

to the charcuterie before we start? We need to talk about the cooked way that Carwin's cut this cheese. I know, yeah. Cheese fingers. He's made it into

tiny little cheese fingers. Yeah. Like we wouldn't be... It's quite a soft cheese. We would have been quite capable of just slicing it off ourselves, but this is quite funny.

Is that a finger of brie? No, this is a finger of Havarti, I think. Oh, okay, a Havarti finger. It's a soft cheese. It's been a while since I had the old Havarti finger, if you know what I mean. I don't. Explain it, break it down as a movement.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. All right, shall we start? Let's start with our... Okay, well, let's take in, what, five minutes into the first episode? Five minutes, and we're already... Okay, let's get into our, okay, well, let's take in, what, five minutes into the first episode? Five minutes, and we're already, yeah. Okay, let's get into our first shout-out. Rebecca P.

No, my, hi to my. Yeah, her last name's P. We don't have a full last name. We've got Rebecca and the initial P. We can only hypothesise that it's Rebecca Potter. About me, Harry's cousin. Yes, long lost. From his father's side.

James's brother's child, Rebecca Potter. Welcome. 38 years old, wishing you all a wonderful Christmas and holiday season filled with much love and happiness surrounded by all the people, places and things that mean the most to you. Lovely. That's quite a nice that's almost hallmark Christmas card. Yeah it is. It almost sounds like she

got AI to do that bit. Do you know what? Yes. She's like oh my god they've asked me for a Christmas message. Yep. Can you access chat GPT on the phone? I always do it on the laptop at work. I don't ever use it. I use my brain and my own creativity. Chat, chat, chat, chat, chat.

I don't want to log in. I don't want the app. I just want to do it in browser, please. Oh, you don't want it knowing about you. Okay, here we go. What can I help you with? Generate a Christmas message. A warm Christmas message.

A warm. But what's the word am I thinking? I was thinking like not specific to a person, general, but general Christmas message for me to put in a Christmas card. If this comes back with the same thing, we've busted her. We've got her. And then we won't read the rest of the shout-out. We'll eliminate the shout-out. Wishing you a holiday season filled with peace, joy, and love.

May the warmth of this special time bring happiness to your heart and bright moments of the year ahead. Merry Christmas and a wonderful new year. That's a bit full noise. That sounds like a robot said that. Less formal. I'll put more casual. Yes.

More casual. And away we go. It says, Hope you have a fantastic Christmas filled with good times, great food and lots of love. Wishing you all the best for the year ahead. She's used AI. Yeah, she has.

We'll follow through. We'll carry on. We'll carry on. This year, though. Next year, don't you even think about it. But this time next year, I believe, we'll be under the full control of ChatGVT. No, we won't be here.

It'll be our voices, but it will not be us. And there'll be slight differences that you'll be able to notice. You'll hardly be able to tell. Fletch, born in! Nicest thing that happened to this year because this is what we put online on the form. We gave you some prompts. Yeah. Some prompts. Nicest thing that happened this year, spending time with

two long lost friends who both live overseas and have done for more than 12 years. Oh, that's nice to reconnect. Do you think when our days come and you're living in Colombia, Fletch, Vaughan, you've gone bush, and I live at an animal welfare shelter in Thailand, do you think we'll reconnect one day? We'll be like, guys.

You've got a real thing for this animal, moving to an animal shelter. It'd just be constant. They'd be putting them down. They'd be dying. How rewarding. To put them down? No. How rewarding to euthanise animals for a hobby.

To spend their last days with them. But do you think that we'll reconnect? Perhaps we could, you know, have a trip to Bali in 12 years and be like, how have you been? Or it would be awkward. We have nothing to talk about. My passport will have lapsed and I don't see any reason to. So Fletch and I have to come all the way home.

I don't want the government having my details. Yeah, you're going to go a bit feral, I think. It's going to be, yeah. It's nice to reconnect with. Do you think it was that sort of reconnecting with friends after 12 years where it's like no time's passed at all? Oh, I bet. I've got friends like that.

You don't see them for years and they catch up and it's just like yesterday. Yeah, you've been apart for 12 years and you run out of things to talk about after about an hour. Naughtiest moment of the year was getting a speeding fine. She said otherwise very well behaved this year. Good for you. Who's got the most speeding fines out of us?

I've got one camera and one real life. I only have a bus lane. I've never had a speeding fine. Which is ironic. Which is crazy. What about this morning on the way to work? Hayley gave me a ride on the way to work and she's flat foot. She's hooning.

I'll say hoofing it. She was hoofing it. And we were just talking about something else. I stopped mid-conversation and said, how fast are you going? Because that's a Skoda. That's a cop car because it had the aerial in the middle. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Too fast was the answer.

Too fast. And too furious. I almost gave us a bit of a whiplash with how fast I slammed on the brakes. I reckon that cop would have noticed, here comes a car hot, and then whoo-ah. But then we noticed he had no lights on and wasn't sort of pursuing anyone, but he was going at least 15 over. Right. I know.

So I was like, if he pulled me over, we're going to like right back at you. Yeah. I would have issued, as a sovereign citizen. Exactly. They love that. I would have issued you a ticket for driving on my road. And I'd be like, and this is right back at you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Or we can call it evens right now. Murray, the cat's just jumped up hoping to get something off the charcuterie board. But because Carwin made it, there's only carrots. Oh, cats aren't like carrots. You said carrots and you almost went like... Sorry, Murray. He doesn't eat grapes either. I've tried.

Do you want to try the carrot, Mars? No, it's really bad for cats and dogs to eat grapes, isn't it? Is it? Raisins and grapes, aren't they toxic? No, no cheese. Oh, there is some cheese. Oh, yeah, he might like cheese. Okay, I'll give him...

No, I don't want the shits. He'll get the shits in the litter box. So I have to eat this cheese? Yeah. Oh, another is some cheese. Oh, yeah, he might like cheese. Okay, I'll give him... No, I don't want the shits. He'll get the shits in the litter box. So I have to eat this cheese? Yeah. Another finger of cheese. Anything extra? She said, I hope everyone gets a much well-deserved time to relax, unwind and recharge.

Thank you so much, Rebecca. A lovely way to start. Yeah. Wholesome. A great way to start. Beautiful. Monica is next. She's 28 and she is from Oamaru.

God, I love that place. It's so... Well, when I grew up, she's from Oamaru. God, I love that place. Well, when I grew up, it was always Oamaru. Oamaru is one of the places in New Zealand where people who struggle to say Oamaru. That downtown, they filmed

a Netflix show there last year or the year before. It's beautiful. I love Oamaru. It's so cool. For our international listeners, some of it's definitely a shithole, but some of all of New it's a shithole. For our international listeners, it's a... Some of it's definitely a shithole, but some of all of New Zealand is a shithole. Probably thrived in the 1800s on early sheep and beef money. And now it's known for steampunk.

Because they had all these old buildings, so they've just kind of... It's so cool, man. It's a really good spot. I had some good Indian food in Oamaru. Better chicken? Yeah, boy. Okay.

Christmas message. All I want for Christmas is a cover of I Got You Babe by UB40 and Chrissy Hines sung by Hayley and John. Now, I assume John is my father-in-law, John. They say we're young and we don't know. He did. I should have got a copy of it. He did record Wham's Last Christmas and played that to us,

and he said everybody else abandoned the table, which I didn't notice happening, but the kids ran away and jumped in the pool. And then Sade went inside and I was like, I'm the only one here. So I can't. And he's like, wait for this bit, Vaughn. I hit the high notes.

And afterwards I said, did you? But he's so deaf he didn't hear me say, did you? You went for them. Yeah, he's like, you chased them. But I don't know if we'd say we hit them. I've long wanted to do a duet with John. I think that should be next year's to-do list for the show. Yeah, he's like, you chased them. But I don't know if we'd say we hit them. I've long wanted to do a duet with John. I think that should be next year's to-do list for the show. Yeah, definitely.

Because people would love that. It would have to be something that's both within our vocal range. The UB40 version of I Got You, we could do that. That could happen. Okay. The nicest thing that happened to Monica this year, she gave birth to her son in July. Oh, congratulations.

That's lovely. How exciting. Well, my God, what an exciting Christmas for you. First one with the son. Yeah, the baby's very young. Oh, congratulations. That's lovely. How exciting. What an exciting Christmas for you. First one with the sun. Yeah, the baby's very young. Very loud Christmas.

Next year's going to be her Christmas. Draining. Very young baby. Yeah. I think the child to, we don't know the name of the baby,

but to guess the name of the baby, very 2024 name. Oh no, that's passing. From Oamaru. Austin. I'm just thinking of hot people from this year. Oh no, that's passing. From Oamaru. Austin. I'm just thinking of hot people from this year.

Oh, from Oamaru. Caden. Caden. Probably got a Caden or a Jaden there. Anything extra? She says, Fletch, there's a dupe of lush snow fairy at Tawarifare called Good One Kids Three in One Walk. Kids.

What's the funniest thing? It's in my shower. It's the pink. Can I go have a sniff? Yes, go have a sniff. What's the funniest thing? It's in my shower. Can I go have a snack? Go bring the bottle. It's the large pink one. That's lasted you like a year because you got it last Christmas. Last Christmas I gave you my heart

by body wash. Then you rubbed it on your bits and drank it away. Yeah, beautiful. Do you know I'm so good now when I share at your house because I stayed here on Monday night, so four days ago.

I know to drain the shower soap away. Yeah, because the cat loves licking the water. What did you think of that when you sniffed that one? It smells like something and I can't quite put my finger

on it. It's like if you scrubbed yourself with body wash. No. Sorry, candy floss. Fruity candy floss. Candy floss. It's like a fruity candy floss. It's like if you scrubbed yourself with body wash. No, no. Sorry, candy floss. Fruity candy floss. Candy floss. It's like a fruity candy floss.

It's delicious. Is that where the fairy comes from? Because people do call candy floss fairy floss, don't they? Yeah, they do, yeah. It's yum. It might have expired. Yeah, has it expired? Because Lush uses mostly natural.

Oh, it's that sticker on the side, the round one, sweetie. I don't think it would go off. Best used by September babes. We're going to have to use this all today. It's not going to do anything. In cocktails. In between episodes, we'll go have a luscious, fluffy shower. Well, thank you for that, Monica. It's bubble gum.

That's what it smells like. That's what it is. Bubble gum, yeah. How did we end the episodes last time? Did they just It smells like bubble gum. Yeah. Okay, well, that is... Hubba-bubba-bubba-bubba. Hubba-bubba-bubba-bubba-gum. How did we end the episodes last time? Did they just end? Was it a cheers? We'll have a cheers.

And then I think as we go on, no one cares how they end. Oh, we ripped off the piece of paper. We threw it away. I will write on the next start of the next page, we're going to be hearing from Chelsea. I'm going to write ep two. Two, fantastic. Return of the king.

Start.