ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Christmas Cocktail Special - 23rd December 2024
Episode Date: December 22, 2024On Today's Christmas Cocktail Special; Another podcast, another growth on Hayley...See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information....
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For a few years, in the 1970s, the Mr Asia syndicate made millions.
Heroin creates its own market.
It acts like a form of play.
Until jealousy, betrayal and murder brought it all crashing down.
Then he just pulled out a gun, shot her in the back of the head,
and then said to Wayne, you're going to help me bury her.
This is Mr Asia, A Forgotten History.
All episodes now available on iHeartRadio, Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts
Welcome to another episode of our Christmas Cocktail Special
We're back with The Big Pod and the live show on January 20
We'll see
Don't you start this again Maybe Don't you start this again Well, maybe with the Big Pod and the live show on January 20. We'll see.
Don't you start this again.
Don't you start this again. Well, maybe.
TBC.
Oh, Grumpy Vaughn loves coming back from a holiday.
Depending on negotiations.
Not sure.
Next up is...
Depending on the state of the media industry.
Yeah, which?
Hey, don't do that.
Might be in his death spiral.
I want to go out on my choice.
I want it to be my choice. Terrell is up next. And they say, pronounce like Will Ferrell, but't do that. Might be in his death spiral. I want to go out with my choice. I want it to be my choice.
Terrell is up next.
And they say pronounce like Will Ferrell, but with a T.
Terrell.
Terrell.
Podcast listeners from New York.
Oh, my God.
Hey, what are you doing over there, buddy?
That's crazy, man.
You're so far away.
That's fucking crazy.
Can you see who we're going into in a box?
I imagine he's like, no.
Oh, God.
Fuck, I need a bagel.
I'm Jewish.
You're Italian.
Is that what we're doing?
Hey, fucking forget about it.
No, I said hey, but this is a hey or a she?
We have yet to confirm gender.
T-I-R-O-L.
The Maori in me wants to say Tirol, but then there's an L.
But then they, yes.
There's no L in the Maori language, is there? No S,
no L and no C? Is that right? I'm trying to get a
vibe check on the gender. I moved
to New Orleans 13 years ago
for school. For school?
What does one move to New Orleans to study?
Jazz. Jazz
and sandwiches. Jazz and the blues
and po' boy sandwiches.
And
I fell in love with an American six years ago.
I'm now unlikely doomed to live in this godforsaken country
for the rest of my life.
Bring him back here, unless he's loud.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Or gun-toting Republican.
And this, no, it still says this godforsaken.
Yeah, no, it doesn't say he or she.
Yeah.
There's still no indicator here.
We may yet come across a clue.
Well, you know what?
Gender's a construct, so it doesn a construct. Who even fucking cares?
Happy Christmas to those who celebrate.
To FEH and the producer girlies,
thank you for the smile on my face
through all the tough times.
I don't like hearing that there was tough times.
We're all going to go through them.
All the tough times.
I've got a boil on my ass, you know?
Right now.
Did you have to?
Right now.
Yeah.
I don't know what's happened.
This is the first I'm hearing about this.
Yeah.
Where did it come from?
I don't know. I just noticed it in the shower the other day. What's the difference between a boil and a big pimple?
It's big pimple. Just massive pimple energy.
Because you know what we could do.
Do you want some cream? I've got some cream.
Yeah, you do have creams. I'll help myself.
I always help myself with your creams. Heat up a glass
and put it on. Burn it off.
Is that what you do?
And then you, on the outside, rub ice on the glass
and the air inside compresses, and it just goes –
Oh, like Chinese sucking.
Yeah.
Cupping, I mean.
Yeah, cupping.
Yeah, wow.
Chinese sucking a little bit different.
Sorry.
My Google search just came out.
Your Pornhub rap is out,
and your number one genre is Chinese sucking.
I often save episodes when things get a little hard and I feel a little love from back home.
Do you know the name Tyrell?
What did you say?
Pronounce like Tyrell.
Tyrell.
Tyrell.
Tyrell.
Yeah.
Irish.
It's an ancient name.
It was the name for someone who was a stubborn or obstinate person.
That's our Tyrell.
That's our Tyrell.
That's our Tyrell.
That's our Tyrell.
The other day I went back and listened to ones from last year
I hadn't heard yet and I cry laughed so hard on the subway
in New York City I said a communal train
cry. Oh, that's lovely. It's infectious, isn't it?
Yeah. Oh, communal
train laugh. Oh, that's much
better. Laughter is contagious.
Crying I hope would not be.
This was two days after the election and you could tell everyone
needed to laugh and cry together.
The episode was with Callum,
whose parents thought he was dead for six months
because his crazy sister told them he'd been stabbed.
That's right.
That was fucking wild.
A highlight.
A highlight.
Nicest thing that happened to this year.
By the time you read this,
hopefully the nicest thing will be,
editors note, they didn't finish their sentence.
I imagine that was in the voiceover of Arrested Development.
Yes.
Can you improvise what you think it is?
By the time you read this, hopefully the nicest thing will be.
Trump was elected and they've got.
And the world rejoiced.
And the world rejoiced and is a happy place.
Well, no, because their naughtiest moment of the year,
when we asked, said,
I found myself wishing they didn't miss when they tried to assassinate Trump.
You said it.
Yeah.
That is naughty.
Anything extra?
RIP to the Long Weekend Group, too.
Hayley, please let us know if there's a recording of your comedy specials.
Give the people what they want.
You did record, didn't you?
There is.
I'm sitting on it for a bit because I'm still live touring it.
Are you hoping it's going to become funny?
That is the meanest thing you've ever said.
Like a maturing sauce.
Like when you make a whiskey, you're barrel aging it
in fine French oak barrels.
I've got it in the can and it's just aging.
In a Chardonnay oak.
Comedy famously doesn't age well, to be honest.
But this is because you're doing your tour,
Wild Flight, in Australia next year.
I might do a bit of London and stuff,
so,
no,
I won't upload it,
but,
you can,
wait.
I'd love to go to New York and perform.
I'd love to do some comedy clubs.
Those are all like,
divey,
open mic nights and stuff.
The only problem is,
if they introduce me in a New York accent,
I'm fucked.
It's gonna get way,
all the way from New Zealand.
Kate is next for, thanks by the way, way, way from New Zealand. Kate is next.
Thanks, by the way, Terrell.
Yes, thank you.
Terrell.
Terrell.
Terrell.
Terrell.
Terrell.
Terrell.
Thanks, Will Terrell.
Kate, by the way, I will say on the mark of Will Ferrell,
have we all watched the Will and Harper documentary?
No.
Yes.
Oh, you must.
I must.
That's simply nice.
Do you know, even my Trump-supporting
stepfather-in-law
bought him to tears.
Wow.
Yeah, it's a beautiful movie
about friendship.
Changed his whole,
like, perspective
on a whole lot of stuff
with the trans community.
What was his perspective?
Pretty bad.
Pretty,
let's not talk about it
at Christmas.
Yeah.
Pretty avoid the topic
at all costs sort of thing.
Yeah.
But it changed his opinion,
so that's good.
Next up is Kate.
Kate says, I'm 48 and currently living in Nova Scotia, Canada.
Do you know what Nova Scotia stands for?
New Scotland.
No.
Oh.
New York, New England.
Yeah.
Australia was called New Holland for a while.
We are New Zealand.
The documentary, Dear Zachary, was it?
It was in Nova Scotia.
It was in Nova Scotia Have you watched that yet?
Tomorrow
I can't wait to hear about that
On the podcast
And Nova Scotia Canada
I've been a listener since Vaughan started working with Fletch
So there's no point changing now
That's how we like to get our listeners
Even I came in and was like
We tag them so heavily.
Yeah.
You're an old, stale, holy jumper.
Yeah.
You know, put it on.
Put it on.
Smells, but it's fine.
Thanks for the moments of pure radio chaos this year.
It's been thoroughly enjoyable.
Nicest thing that happened this year
was I got to see some amazing places across Atlantic Canada
and enjoy heaps of local trips with my man.
Okay, it's a she.
Good.
Yeah, I could tell by her name being Kate.
Okay, because I was trying to figure it out the whole time.
It could be a gay Kate.
Like the last one, Tyrell.
It could be a male Kate.
Yeah, okay.
Never heard of a male Kate in all my times.
Nah, you're right.
Naughtiest moment of the year.
My partner and I have decided to elope to Scotland next year
and not even our families know.
But I'm happy for the FVH fam to be in on the secret.
Good elopement scrap.
You're going to piss the parents off.
But who cares?
It'll be done.
You'll be married.
They'll get over it.
Yeah, they will.
They'll learn to deal with it.
Is this ep three or ep four?
Three.
This is three, sweetie.
You just wrote four.
He's already lost control.
I'm out of numbers.
Anything extra?
Fruitcake rules.
I'm a staunch on this as corners.
No.
I was all for Kate.
And now, yeah.
Get out of here.
Kate there, she's in Nova Scotia, Canada.
She'll be freezing right now.
Yes, she will be.
I'm melting.
It is hot.
It's so hot in here.
Should we just roll the dice with a little bit of background noise?
It gives us an air of authenticity that we're actually recording outside the studio.
Yeah, I think we might have to open the windows because, good Lord,
it's hot in here.
Tomorrow, join us for downtown Auckland atmospheric sounds.
ASMR.
Auckland ASMR.
Auckland ASMR.
We might even hear some of the lovely locals swearing at each other
when they don't indicate at traffic lights.
Join us then.