ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Christmas Cocktail Special '25- Episode Five

Episode Date: December 23, 2025

On Episode Five; We are gorgeous, beautiful and cute- but is cute actually a compliment..?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Fleshworn and Haley's Christmas Cocktail Special Welcome to the Christmas Cocktail Special The Live Show on The Big Potter back on Monday the 19th of January January. Now if you've just joined us, you've missed some crack in podcast shows. Go back. Go back. Start again.

This is meant to be listed as a sequential deal because now we're off to Hamilton. Crown jewel of New Zealand cities. We're on to our second cocktail, the apparel's press. Double-tipping in an aparole. but he has to add what did you say some Gen A Sequot

You've chucked a raspberry That's strong I've made a strong one Sproul made the last one but don't worry That's okay You know we'll be fine Again it's data recording It's Tuesday and it's currently 11 a.m.

I'll bring us back with some nice market readers Don't you worry Oh Polly says Thanks so much for all the lulls this year The podcast got me through 4 a.m. workouts on my journey to health and losing 20 kilograms Holy! That's amazing I found it if you want it back

Haley, you're so gorgeous and multi-talented Oh, cheers Vaughan, you're a beautiful bear daddy And Fletch, you're so cute Cheers the lady, do I Thank you, thank you We've got gorgeous, beautiful and cute That's us

Well, someone once told me Cute's just interesting, ugly Mm-hmm I agree If you say to someone Oh my God, you're so cute I don't want to fuck you Great, so they don't want to fuck me

Wow The highlight of my year Is travelling to the big scary USA For a pre-game bender in Vegas Before heading to Nashville, Nashville for CMA Fest. I'd love to go to Nashville. I haven't been. What's CMA Fest? Country

Musical Awards, yeah, something like that. Many Bud Lights consumed, boots scooted, Yee's Horde and Hot Cowboys Gorked at. Juicy's moment here didn't have many juicy moments this year, however, when strolling down Broadway and Nashville, after a few lemonade's enjoyed in moderation. Of course. There was a gentleman preaching to the crowds via a JBL party box

and all drinkers and fornicators will end up in hell. I turned to my friend and said, I can't wait. It was probably told to hush woman by the man given the sermon. I had to be dragged away before I went full Hamilton on him. Hush woman. Hush woman. I'm preaching about Jesus.

Oh my God, I love that song. I will fuck you up. Reincarnation, I'd come back as a white man. How good would that privilege be? I think they've had their moment in the sun and I reckon it's going to get worse for them. No. Yeah, hon. I'm sorry.

No, darling, I know, I know, I know. No. Time's up, you know. We're staying in Hamilton for our next shout out. Jessica said, I want to give a shout out to my amazing boyfriend, hopefully soon to be my fiancé, for being an amazing partner and spoiling me with love every day. I'm very grateful to have him in my life.

Wish the team at Zedem, and Merry Christmas, you've been a little ray of sunshine in my life of the past year, so hopefully 2026 treats you all better. Highlight of the year, accidentally doing a double major and graduating. Rancarnconation choice, my dog Izzy, who is a Labrador. She's the sweetest girl, and I think it would be an honor to be like her. Lovely. as her you would come back as a Labrador

and you might be a shit one with arthritis or something yeah bad hips and an appetite that just won't quit blind yeah Kate is next from Wellow how different than now what the appetite that won't quit in the bad yeah yeah yeah just so just

like usual okay yeah except no external pressure to just provide you know fair fair it'll be a size 10 yeah I'm a Labrador don't tell me what I'll be fat I want to be fat I'm cute when I'm fat.

Hello friends. Long time listener first time Christmas Carter. This is Kate from Wellington. Kilda. I've been listening to Fletch and Vaughn since I was 15. So 11 years of podcast and being a silent listener. You're actually quite old now, I'm born. I am, yes, yes, yes, and I'm only getting older.

44, in February. It's almost time to be taken out the back and shot. It's the humane thing to do. It is the humane thing to do. Thank you for getting me through the rough times. You guys are my rock throughout my pregnancy. And I think my daughter is over your voices. Oh, listening.

Listening so much. My highlight was being in a... Sorry, you've just skipped. So, I rock throughout pregnancy, and I think my daughter is over your voices, brackets. Not Hayley, she's got a beautiful voice. I found it didn't need to be said. Close perishes.

We like to hold back some of the compliments. Well, I'm like a reading along, so I'll pick them up. She's like reading along like a golden book. And when you hear this noise, it's time to turn the page. It's time to turn the page. My highlight was being in a self-care era so hard I'm working on myself that I got braces at the ripe old age of 26

and lost 8KGs because I couldn't eat, so I'm going to be skinny and have good teeth. That's a win all round. There's a win-win. Like Haley, I'm recently single, so I downloaded a good old Hinge. I all started a new gym this year during my self-care era and the very short king,

five foot four at best, who goes to my gym sent me a rose on hinge. Oh, like a super like. And my six-foot-tall ar said, no thank you for obvious reasons. Sorry, short king. But I mean, when you're six-foot, everybody is a short king. Now I have to see him every time I'm at the gym.

And even in town, I've run into a few times somehow. Everyone is the same size, though, when they're sitting on your face. You know what I mean? Sorry. Just checking a fact sentence. No, that is Confucius. Is it? Yeah.

It's an ancient Chinese proverb. But actually... I thought it was even lying down. I would think sitting on someone's face would be the very point at which you could tell everybody's quite different. Yeah. Little tyke jumps up there. I don't know how it works, but that's what Confucius is.

Are you suffocating or are you breathing clearly? through your nose. You can get a straw. You get a snorkel? A little snorkel to the side, yeah. Hard to work the tongue around the snorkel. It is. You'd have to nose it.

It just kind of a nose. That movie June. I was going to say fault in our stars. And they've got the oxygen. I was going to go for science fiction. I was a terribly horrible sad cancer movie. Yeah, right. So, well, I hope you can escape that pesky little leprechaun that's following you around

there, cake. No, give a short king a chance. I would come back as a Christmas out. I love Christmas. I'm one of those bitches who sets up after Halloween, so I'd spend my alf days making sure Christmas orphans have lots of presents. Tracy is also...

Look at Fletch! I was like, don't do it. Don't do it? Oh, I couldn't imagine... Are we nice down at Christmas Street? No, they're dead. They're dead. That's our impersonation of them, but they're presumed dead.

They're dead. Presumed, allegedly. Tracy's next. Tracy's also from Wellington. Just a love to you guys. Skip, skip, skip, skip. but yes, thank you, Tracy. Oh, fuck yeah. You guys are legends, fuck those guys.

Highland of the year, went to Hawaii and swam with pilot whales. Well, I hope you told them to stop fucking beaching themselves. Yeah, not the smartest, are they? Terrible name for them. I want to go to... They can't pilot their way in the fucking ocean. They're always ending up on the beach. I can swim with pilot whales.

Are they big? No, they're not big. Oh, right, little. Oh, yeah, they're the ones that get beached a year, yeah, yeah, little. I was just a new fantasy would be going to Hawaii and just swimming with pilots and their little, you tight shirts. Oh, like, actual pilot. You know what I mean?

You can swim with those anywhere. Hot pilots. Yeah, you can swim with them anywhere. Did our toes just touch? Yeah. Okay, we have to address. We did this last year. You both, we're getting horny about pilots.

And our toes connected. We both stretched when we got horny. Oh, my God. Pilots. Reincarnation choice dolphin. Okay, lovely. Thank you there, Tracy. All right.

Let's go just up the road from Wellington to Potarua where Ashley said 2025 has been a whole lot of nothing for me just work, sleep, repeat do you know what that's probably nice

because some people have had the hell year yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're just dwelling on that, were you? Grimman, which honestly has made me pretty sad this year. I listen to you guys every day while I work and I honestly just want to say thank you

my day, lift my spirits, I'll put on the podcast. Oh, that's nice. Thanks for the genuine friendship that I can definitely hear. Can't wait to see what other in addition to the crew It will be in 2026. You know Haley's going to want to buy something dead.

Yeah. I say with peace and love. Thank you for being unapologetically yourself. I love it. Fuck yeah. Hang on. It wasn't me. He was looking at dead things, though.

Fletch, you went away over the weekend and we kept sending us taxi-dermy. I was getting, because we went into, we were staying at a hotel and underneath the hotel. I know this shop. There's a taxi-dermy shop and it just sells all kinds of trinkets and amazing things in Wellington. I love that place. Brown and Co. It's called. It's amazing, and Mike and Matt, our friends,

were peer-pressuring me into buying a zebra, a taxidermy zebra. Where is it? And they want to put it at the end of the hallway. Yeah, yeah, I know. It would look amazing. I know, I know. But then I saw how much it cost, and I was like, no fucking way. How much do you think a taxidermy zebra head cost?

I paid like $1,500 for foxes, so. Oh, it's a bust? It's a bust. 10 grand? Six. Okay, bargain. we were about to pay 10. If we're gulmathing that, we just made $4,000, do you know what I mean?

Honestly, and then we kept drinking and they kept at it. One more push, I reckon you would have done it. And then I had that, because it was, we were looking at it. We were looking at it later on, you know, the Shopify shop app. And then it reminded us later that night. It was like, bing, do you still want to buy a taxi, do you mean? Zebra. I was like, no.

And then Mike was like, come on, come on. I'll light it up. I'll get the lights on it and we'll light it up. And I was like, don't you piece. Yeah, come on. I mean, it would look amazing. Blow out the amy. Wait for a maybe

might have a box in do sale or something. If that went down a couple. We're not spending that much money on that. Jesus. High of the year was house sitting for my friend for a week

as she's got two cats and two dogs. The day I went home I said I'm definitely a cat person I want a cat. Literally the next day I went for a walk and down a walkway there was some bush. I heard a little kitty meowing. He was all the way in the bush.

No mama or other kittens to be seen. I went and he came straight to me and I thought God damn the universe heard me yesterday. Now I have the sweetest little bush baby cat. That's exactly how I rescued my cat. Major Murray, Fluffington. I was walking down the street. I heard a little meow, and a lady looked up at me and said, well, he's yours for $1,500.

Yeah, the breeder. And I said, okay, absolutely, I'll rescue him. Yeah. Juicy's moment of the year, at my extreme college, I'm 30 now, out of the blue, message me. First, it was a normal conversation that, hey, how are you? Then he outright said, so when are we having a baby? I make this much money a year so I can support it. Like, what kind of response to this delusional man thinking he was going to get?

Seriously, you wish, mate, fuck having kids. Wow, that was a journey, man That was a journey, journey But then, like, maybe you could just like, fuck him just for a bit of money I, okay Earns lots of money I do think this if someone like an ex from years and years and years ago I was like, what's up

You'd be like, it'll be quite funny to see Like what you've learned over the last 20 years Compared to women like 19 or 20 years old You're all, yes, I was a very fumbly 20 year old Fumbly, I know Fumbly and bumbley You'd probably impress them now, boy Yeah, I think so

Yeah Anyway All right Jordy writes Dear Shannon, Karen and Vaughan and Haley Yes

We just had the This is a short one He went All right And I was sort of You I was leaving you to finish Yeah

We'll do Jordie It's classic Bletch off entirely Dear Shannon Carwin and Vaughan and Haley Do you know what fucks Hedge? Since you guys is the best part of my day

Thanks for being with us And making another year great No he's left you off there He's a woman, that's why she's left you off. Oh, she. Highland of the year was getting to meet, Haley and Fletch after her baroness show on Christchurch. I also got married to the Lilm.

Love of my life. Right. The lady of my life. Yeah. Juicy's moment of the year, message me on Instagram and I'll tell you because not even the potty can know, but I'll tell you guys. Oh my God, do we get this?

Okay, we'll message. Well, let's message. Reincarnation choice. I wouldn't be coming back simply because I refuse to die. Oh! Why, that's someone like Haley that doesn't, I'm scared of dying. I'm not going to die. Well, on, taxes and death are the only certainty in life.

Well, I don't do either of those. All right, join us next. We've got to Rangiora, my secret birthplace. Cheers. Cheers.