ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Christmas Cocktail Special '25- Episode Nine

Episode Date: December 27, 2025

On Episode Nine; We are going to need to consult Urban Dictionary for this one!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Flashworn and Haley's Christmas Cocktail Special Welcome to the Christmas Cocktail Special The live show on The Big Potter back on Monday the 19th of Jam We've just had We just had a run to the liquor store Below the apartment We're out of the Amperol Sprits because the Prosecco is low Yes

Where are we heading next? Lemoncello Sprits We've got a pre-made lemoncello from the liquor store And then we've got some pre-made tequilas and And we've got a bottle of vodka. So onwards and upwards. What? I am on.

I was just, I made it noise before and I couldn't hear anything. Do you know what it is? It's doing that thing where whoever's leading the most is louder. Because if you started talking now, you were quiet. Right, gotcha. Okay. Well, we're going to Ealy Beach, which is in Australia.

I just looked it up. This looks bloody lovely. It's a coastal town in Queensland, Australia, with a popular gateway to the wet Sundays and the Great Barrieroo. It'll be full of boomers. They love the northern Queensland, don't they? They love it. Well, that's where Tim lives.

Hey, fellas. Not sure how many cocktails you'll be down by now, but I want to say a huge thanks to Kempany Company while I work on Hamilton Island. I'm actually just having a water, and I'll tell you what, listen to how hard it is to suck Fletcher's tap water up a tube. Fucking milky. Fuck, here we go. Every year, there's nothing wrong with my tap water.

It's like eating a pasta noodle. It's like drinking sunscreen. It is. Right. Definitely helps listening to a podcast while I'm sanding the undersides of yachts in the boatyard next the harbour. Long-time listener, first-time submitter of messages.

Big shout out to my fiancée Brigitte. Bridgett. Why, so many of our messages are so loved up. Yeah, as we come to the end of our year here on Erley Beach and soon move back to Blenham to start the next chapter, it's been a huge run for us and the best we've had in years. Anyway, get silly and Merry Christmas.

Highlight of the year getting engaged on Whitthaven Beach. Whitehaven Beach? Whitehaven. Whitehaven. It's the Witton. It's the Wittsendham. Yeah. Juicest moment of the year. drinking copious amounts of cigies smoking copious amounts of cigies while drinking apparel spritz in Italy on a Europe summer.

Oh my God. Remember I brought home those delicious thin French cigarettes. Yeah. I was telling Haley my Russian friend had a Russian cigarette. And he said that he'll share it with you. Well, I'm still on my Balinese cigarettes that were $5 a pack at the moment. Minty is all hell. Nursing guys. I hate when you smoke.

I know. You only ever do it like once in a blue moon when you're drinking. I know. And they love it. What's the Russian cigarette? I showed Haley the photo. It's this red one and it looks like something A female spy in a movie would smoke?

It's cinnamon-y? Yeah. Oh no. Or cherry, no, it was cherry. Cherry, that's right. Cherry-flavored smart. Yum. Yum.

Yum. A real Canadian choice would be a cat for sure being worship for being an asshole. Yes. Please. Gemma is in Dunedin and she said FVH and producers first-time submit a long-time listener. Your Sean Pockers have kept me sane during maternity leave. My son and I appreciate.

you all and I hope you have the best Christmas, Merry Chrysler. Highlight of the year is having our first baby after two miscarriages. We named him Seth short for Seth anphetamine. Fuck yes. Little baby Seth anphetamine. Amazing. My God.

Juicy's moment of the year, my boyfriend teabagged me for the first time and now it's our favorite thing to do. What the fuck what's going on? I told you at the start of this day that it doesn't matter how big someone is. Everyone's the same size when their tea bag. that is exactly what you said

Confucius. We're all the same height when we're getting teabagged. Wow, good fun. People out here living. That did not end up where I thought it was. Just putting the balls on the face. I love to teabag a man with the boob. It's on the eyes, right?

Yeah, yeah, on the eyes. Traditionally, the testicle sit in the eyes, Shannon's looking at us like she's never heard of teabagging. You thought it was in the mouth. No, no, no, that's just balls on the mouth. Which, it's 20-25. But if you were to dunk the balls in the mouth, like the mouth was the cup of tea and the balls were the tea bag.

we just have a hailey if you may on your work plan or my Wi-Fi Google the Urban Dictionary tea bag

because I was always thought it was on the eyes I thought it was teabagging on the eyes like you put it on their and you squat down over them and you dunk them on the eyes

Urban dictionary tea bagging was always in video games if you killed someone and when that part where they were watching their dead body before they were reincarnated you'd bounce up and down on them

a tea bagman Urban Dictionary, okay, okay. Teabagging on urban dictionary is a slang term for the sexual act of putting one's testicles in another person's mouth on their face or forehead. It can also be used as a non-sexual term for a playful or comedic act of a similar emotion. Because I used to love to drop a boob onto an eye socket

because it's a perfect sort of thing like that. We're all about consent here, so please have your friend's consent before you put your testes. Always ask, may I please teabagg you? At some stage, like, in the future, if you're asleep, would it be okay if I teabagued you? Yeah, just have a sort of like a blank check. Yeah.

Kind of like dipping a tea bag in and out of a cup of water. Boom, boom, boom, boom. Well, Gemma and Danana's getting teabag bag pretty hard and loves it. A reincarnation choice would be a bird so I can shoot on every person who's ever pissed me off. You can teabag them, yeah. Jill is in Scotland and says, shout out to the international pod, fam. A forward to the pot every day. It makes me laugh every time you guys attempt to Scotter Sharks seen.

Hey, oh, shut off. Oh, I think that was one of my favorite TV shows this year was the Scottish show. Fuck, what was it called? I am. You brought us in and you don't, you can't deliver the God damn birds. It was like one of the biggest Netflix shows that is based on a book. Help, help, help, help. The Bible.

I'm going to Google. I didn't know the Bible was said in Scotland. I. I just Google Netflix. Jesus, it carried the cross up the hailing. Department Q. Oh, I don't know. I didn't watch it.

It's incredible. Yeah. Really good. My Agus has been pinched. Oh, that was bad. It was bad. Yeah. I thought I got it back at the end.

You got to start early in the night. My Agas has been pinched. Punched. Okay, so IMDB 8.2 out of 10, RNC. Since when did they put Radio New Zealand 4.5 out of five? No one cares what we think. I'm sorry, but they're Russian. The New Zealand public broadcaster.

Yeah, they've got the Russian spy working. Okay, well, let's go back to Jill because she's got some really good news. Highlight of the air, finishing. my chemotherapy and official living cancer. Hell yeah. Yes, fantastic. Cancer three bells. Oh, that was that really cut right through.

Haley. Sorry. We don't, Hayley's just having a little time out. Sorry, no, I will. I'll take pause. Oh, my God. I don't know that was really going to go that loud.

She's just got rid of cancer and now you've done that to her. You've pretty brought it back. Cancer of the year. Yeah. Fucking Bell. Juiciest moment of the year. I haven't told me to be about I started writing jokes for stand-up. Just need to work up the courage to perform them.

My God, you must. Go to an open market. at a bar that no one goes to and just do it. What's the worst it could happen? I'd go to a country where I wasn't from there. But then they wouldn't understand you. Then you've lost that out of the... You're doing this shit, can we jokes?

I get up on there on open mic and they don't even speak English. Don't you fucking hide it when you pay of live? The guy's flat and they're like... Fuck, I bombed. I really bombed. Yeah. I'd be re-enc hunted as a fly. I'm nosy and I love to people watch. You know, with the old saying to be a flyer.

You don't want to be... Come back of something that a can a black flag can take you down in seconds. Oh, they would 100% be on you. Smart more safe. Josey is from Chile Oh I currently writing this from Pukon

A town in Chile after quitting my job And spending the last few months In South America traveling Listening to the podcast In the Wildest Places Lakeside in the Andes In a Colombian jungle And on a bus to Machiapichu

Yeah, how is Colombia? I'd love to shout out I want to give you kisses Pappy Pappy I want to give you kisses for you baby Cases for your baby I'd love to shout out my parents Anne and Ian

Who will be taking on a 30 year old unemployed daughter for Christmas And my boyfriend James For putting up a long distance Are you telling me you went to Columbia And didn't fuck any hot Colombians Well she has not said that So it must be an arrangement in place

It's impossible If there's a contract really I want to go down and give everybody geese For your baby Gies is for my baby Yes is for baby Highlighted the year Is quitting my job in London

And going travelling around South America Rent Canadian I could lazy about in the sun all day on mysterious outings and everything I wanted to return for a bowl of food and unlimited human snuggles you want snuggles baby I'll give you kisses and snuggles baby

but I can I gotta go to work but your boyfriend's back in London I want to come give you kisses I got to work I see you later Lauren is from Bristol Bristol

Bristol happy holidays to the team thanks to bringing a touch of home to my ears while living in the UK shout out to my friend and fellow Kiwi in the UK me love to chat all things FVH with you. Highlight of the year we're seeing amazing shows on the West End in London and an Edinburgh fringe. Oh, jealous.

Along with going to Chapel Rhone's Edinburgh concert. Oh, that would have been amazing. We're excited for Lainway, aren't we? Oh my God, I forgot. How exciting for us. Chapel baby, Chapel baby. Reincarnation choice will be a panda. Eat and sleep all day. That's the dream. Sick and panda. Yeah, actually

they're doing well there. Have you seen pandas when they fall over and they roll And they just have no self-control. Completely out of control. See you next time when we've got to Tampa, Florida. Tampa, Tampa. And wherever Matt lives. Oh, Sheffield's his place in his name.

It's literally right there. I thought of Mr. Sheffield. Oh, Mr. Sheffield.