ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Christmas Cocktail Special '25- Episode One

Episode Date: December 19, 2025

On Episode One; What does a panini press, a yakka plant and a 21st have in common?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Flash Morning Haley's Christmas Cocktail Special Welcome to the Christmas Cocktail Special Our live show and Big Pod are back on Monday the 19th of January We are broadcasting from my living room, my lounge Lounge, the room of which you live. We're in the dining half of the lounge We're in the dining half of the lounge like we always have been For the Christmas Cocktail Special

Correctamundo Some fond memories. Start the time of there, Haley. I've started that. We've got the iPad out. for the timer. The listener's got about 10 seconds free. Just there. So.

Got a freebie. Got it. Yeah. Now, we asked many weeks ago for you to submit your Christmas cocktail special shoutouts. We had a little form. Explain to the listener if this is their first time joining us for a Christmas break. What we're doing here? Well, we used to do a cocktail per episode.

And that actually resulted in a lifelong scar for you. Yeah, I've got a scar on my leg. I fell out into the gravel of my driveway from the Uber. Yeah, we nearly lost the entire recording on the SD can. He nearly sucked it up in a vacuum cleaner, so we bought it back. Yeah, look, so we're just, we started with an apparel spritz today. Yeah, I mean, that's the basis of the Cocktail Christmas special. The politics behind it is the company wants some content over the break because they sell ads in them.

Yeah. And we're going to keep that, we're going to keep that money coming, baby. We've got to keep the media machine running. Oh, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, you need to get the bell, baby. Baby, I got the bell. Yeah, the bell's in the bag. He brought the bell. I'll get it.

I'll get it. I'll get it. No, Carwin's on the bell. Carwin's running to the bell. Now, can I just make, I think next year, I'm love, I was so grateful to be in your house. I think we should be on your balcony. Oh, absolutely. Oh, you, because last, we did think about doing a mine, but the renovation wasn't finished.

Now it is. That's a whole story for another time. Oh, well, you know. We'll see you in three drinks time. Yeah, yeah. No, you won't. We'll see that story in three drinks time. Oh, and the side pocket hon.

My only thing is that it's hot in your apartment and I'm wearing a mini skirt and so my thighs are sticking to your leather seats. Vorn's had to borrow grey track pants and I can see the entire outline of his cock. Well, he was in jeans and said, I'd love some shorts. We know this place runs hot. It runs hot. We know it runs hot.

And I wore jeans like a fucking idiot. And I've worn a thick cotton t-shirt. Take it off. Do you need another thing? You have the right of a man to be shirtless. I might soon. I've got a sports singlet. Would you like that?

A Nike sports singlet. Oh, I'll be Nike top and bottom. I don't own any Nike. I can do that for episode too. Okay. Okay. We'll slowly. Start hot.

Yeah. Start a hot. Cheers, our first cocktail, Apparel Sprits. Lovely. Cheers, cheers, made by yours truly. Cheers. Yeah, great. Good mixing from you, Haley.

The producer, Shannon Carwin are here. Cheers, they're on the waters to start. Cheers, cheers, cheers. Cheers, Jesus Christ. Okay, let's start. Sproul made it. What do you expect? 10.25 a.m. on a Tuesday.

This is the season. By the way, we are recording this on a Tuesday because it's the only day, Haley has free. I've had two breakfasts in anticipation for this. Yeah, we're good. Yeah, we should be on. your deck but you are also the reason we're drinking on a Tuesday next year I think if we're looking forward

we just need to work a little bit less we'll calendar it I can't afford it we'll calendar it in to be on the deck next year summer and we do an app from the spa oh yeah lovely all right let's start anonymous we said part of the form was we wanted to know what you put in

a Christmas card message Merry Christmas to all the retail workers putting in the hard yaka I think they mean yaka yaka is terrible tree the roots run deep I've had to yank them out And you go to water it if it's inside and you stab yourself in the eye. Oh, it's terrible. Oh, that were the big.

They were the go. Them and a Panini Press were the go-to 21st presence when I was 2021. Really? Yeah, Panini Press and a yucca plant. Hamilton. That's so sad. 2003. The hard yakker in the lead-up to Christmas.

Merry Christmas to my beautiful family, including my amazing husband and children, and of course you guys. That makes my commute so much funnier. Oh, thank you. Oh, lovely. I will from here on out be on the fly editing too many compliments. because Oh no no hang on

Let's sit yeah No it's the end of the year I've had a roughy Okay I've had a roughy too I don't think a compliment's going to

fix it there Highlight of the year Celebrating this year as I embraced sobriety Oh Cheers to me please Cheers Cheers cheers to you

The girls are on the waters with you It does feel weird to cheers Someone being cyber With an apparel spirits It does but that's life It's insensitive

Cheers to me please And a lady die of course Yes cheers to lady die Also celebrating Five years with my sugar daddy Brackets Not my husband That's why this is

anonymous. I was starting to wonder why this was Anonymous. It's been an interesting five years she says, but has given me the means to be able to buy my fucking first house! I'm sorry, what? How much does a Sugar Daddy pay that you can afford a house? Must have a great set of honkers.

I think Anonymous has great rack and Daddy's rich. Far out. What about if it's one of those sugar daddies that just loves to be bled dry? Financial shame? Financial shaming or a financial kink? It's so funny now that I'm single for the first time in 14 years, how I was like, oh, I'd absolutely do

a sugar daddy situation. You missed a boat on? 36. Not with those bloody sag and knockers. Oh, come on. You're just going to go older. They're phenomenal. I'm going to go real old. Real old. Yeah, but they okay, yeah. Oil baron

old. Yeah. Yeah. And we, so first house. I know. Fuck me. We're in the wrong business. What do you do when your friends are like, God, how did you save up for the deposit? it.

Kissed an old guy's dick. Yeah, like what? I don't know, maybe there's not a sexual sugar daddy. I know there's a whole spectrum. There's the autistic spectrum and then there's the sugar daddy. Maybe she just played with his train set. Maybe.

Oh my God, I'd do that. Get him started this early on. Reincarnation choice, this is another question we asked you. A cat, because she gets to do all my favorite things all day. Nap eat and getting attention on her terms.

Yeah, I agree. Yeah, love that. Thank you and on it. And congrats on the new home. John from Nelson says Kyoto team wishing you all a very merry Christmas. Congratulations. you made it.

We haven't not yet. Highlight of the year was winning return flights to L.A. I never win anything. I'm not sure I'll go yet, or when I'll go yet, either October 26th or March 27. Very specific. Yeah. And a way out.

I am getting my shirts stocked in an actual shop. Shout out to the Cuba Street Collective in Parmy. Oh, so he's a shirt designer perhaps, getting his shirts stopped in store. Well done. Oh, I know this is John. This is John. I know this is John. John's a long time listener.

John makes shirts. he is. A gentleman never tells when we ask the juiciest moment of the year. And reincarnation choice are definitely an otter. We seem to be having a blast. Don't know about the diet, though. I'm, when I went to the Wellington Zoo the other weekend, miss the otters. And I told, and our friend Haley

and Wellington. That's just the otter bell. There you've heard right. The otter bell, sorry. And our friend Haley and Wellington, when we're having drinks, she's like, oh my God, I love otters, her and her boyfriend. And I said, well, you simply must watch the otter thing on Disney. Oh, my otter. Oh my god. Yeah.

What a show. Beautiful. What a movie. Next we're going to hear from Nicky, based in Auckland. The messages I've been listening to you guys for 10 years now. Back when I was 16 and mucking out horse stables for a living. Goodness. Thank you for being my go-to drive-home podcast.

Vaughan, thank you for responding to my Instagram DMs and treating me like a genuine friend, as I am. Wanted to do. Fletch, I've enjoyed meeting you out in about a couple of times. One in the Qantas Auckland Act must be nice. Must be nice. He's a member of multiple airlines' lounge program. Oh, look, I'll dabble in a few lounges. I'm not exclusive to one lounge, born.

And once after Haley had just dropped you off. And Haley, thanks for ignoring my DMs. You're welcome, babe. Just what she does. Produce the girlies to, long-lived T, Swizzle and Herman the German. Yeah. Highlighted the year, all this talk around a personal recession inspired me to self-induce my own personal recession.

I've now been approved for a mortgage on my own. Six years ago, I was declared legally bankrupt after being unwell and not being able to work. So I never thought I'd be in this position. I wonder if she ain't got a sugar daddy to help with that too. She could have. Congratulations. You don't know.

Well done. That's a big climb back. Oh my God. Okay. Juicy's moment of the year. Okay. Don't judge me for this. A co-worker really pissed me off and I lost my mind a little bit.

I came into work early for a week, pissed in a cup every morning and poured it on the carpet underneath his desk. Fuck off. Not my finest moment, but really showing. Really show my South Auckland upbringing. I'm a good person, I swear. Pissed in a cup and poured it on his carpet. Oh my God. And it wanted a corporate office.

There's cameras, right? I think cameras in our like... Yeah, but they're not going to see if you're just like walking around and you're like just walking past the desk and you have a little sprit. Yeah. And then when do you start the rumor that this guy pisses himself? Have you noticed that Kevin smells a bit pissy?

Yes. You dehydrate overnight as well, right? So it's real yellow. And Kevin's like, why I think I smell like piss? That's wild. That's so wild. No judgment. Reincarnation does.

Herman the German the German count. I think that'd be a bad reincarnation because you'd be reincarnated and not be able to move. Yeah, also you'd hear all about just between us conversations. Well, that's what they say.

I'd like to be able to watch the show live every morning with Pats and Vaughn telling me I'm a good boy in the voice he uses when he sees O'Haley. Oh, Haley. Good boy. Thanks, Nicky. Cat from the White Gatto says,

Merry Christmas to the whole team. Thanks for the last this year. I'm having my... Highlight of my year was having my second child and an amazing home birth. Listening. To us. God, talking about bloody, you know.

All sorts. All sorts of things. Not sure if it counts as juicy, but the most exciting part of my year was giving birth on my lounge floor while listening to an old pod. The home birth was planned, but it all went much faster than expected, and that's why it happened that way. Instead of being in my birth pool with my well-curated playlist, all feminist rage songs. Oh, I love that. Because I knew, they'd give me the energy. We actually ended that probably, probably, I'd have drop the pilot on there.

Drop the pilot. Do you reckon that's the number one song we've? Played in Bali Yeah, it is 100%. The birth was 10 out of 10 Amazing. Not sure of my nine months of prep or you guys can take the credit.

I'll probably take a little bit. We'll take a little bit. Absolutely, thanks, cat. Reincarnation choice would be a cat living a life of luxury. So basically Haley's cat. Overfletches because then I get to go outside. Yeah, but then you have to see

what Haley gets up to. Just don't sit on the couch. You'll be alright. I've said it before. What is the heightened sense of the cat? Because the dog is the smell. Is the cat? Whiskers, hark.

height and sentient and they just tells them how wide they are so they can fit through gas. They hear well. Is it hearing? I think they've got good eyes up, but not as much as you're willing to believe. The primordial pouch. I've got me one of those. It helps me run very fast. Right. Well, that's our first step, isn't it?

No, it's not. Isn't it? Yes it is. We're doing two pages of two pages. I don't know what that's. Look, we're doing 10 minute episodes. We're aiming. Okay. Yeah. Okay. No, I'm happy with that. So how did we end these all last time in the time in the time before and the time before and the time before?

We tell a secret about ourselves. Oh, we'll run out. I just don't think we would. I just don't think we would. Cheers. We'll finish with cheers. That was the natural out. It was the natural out.

No, I didn't think it was. I don't think it was. It left wanting. We just need to, we'll find our rhythm. Cheers, cheers, cheers, cheers, cheers.