ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Christmas Cocktail Special '25- Episode Seventeen

Episode Date: January 4, 2026

On Episode Seventeen; Love ISN'T dead and we learn about the invisible string theory!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Flashworn and Haley's Christmas Cocktail Special Welcome to the Christmas Cocktail Special The Live Show, The Big Pod, is back Monday the 19th of January. Warren, stop pressing the buttons. Shannon, please regain control of the buttons. You would agree that that button's on the... That thing's on the first. It's on the piss, eh?

Well, we go to Newcastle first. Caitlin says Merry Christmas. Do you think it's Newy or, like, Newcastle? I was thinking, Strayor. Yeah, straight-off. All right. Happy Christmas to my wife, Bex.

Another lesbian. Happy first Christmas as parents. This Christmas is going to be the best one yet with our daughter Lacey. Thanks to keeping everyone alive for the last few months. You're the best mum. Cute. All right of the year. Simple, birth of our daughter Lacey.

Some people just kept these very simple, haven't they? Nice and short. Yeah. Sam is from Sydney. I'm shouting out you three of the years been tough, but you all appear so much stronger as a group, genuine friends, if you will. Wow. Sorry, just pausing for criminal activity in all things today.

What kind of siren was that? Ah, police, police, yeah, more... A lot of criminal activity in the city. Do you know I saw a guy tagging in broad daylight the other day? Ah, well. That was absolutely why. Your audacity. Yeah.

What was he tagging? Just the door down over there. No, what was he tacked? Like, what was he straight? He had a big fat vivid. Do you know the vivids with like a centimeter by centimeter numb? Real, I reckon would have smelled good. I was going to say, give that a hot snuff.

Yeah, and he was just riding some in-case. But he was like 40. I was like... How embarrassing. How embarrassing for you that you're tagging. Like, I was like, I've never seen a tagger before. Didn't, I mean, it was broad daylight. I was going to say something then I was like,

it's not worth like getting in a fight or getting stabbed over it. Or if he turns around and puts a big ink mark on your shirt, then you're going to stay in to get out. I'll have to throw out the T-shirt. I've only tagged once and I was full of regret. What did you tag? Well, we were spray painting this fence, me and my friends. And everyone was doing, like, cool things.

And I totally panicked and I wrote Haley Sproul. I just wrote my whole fucking full name I remember waking up The smartest criminal in the world And I like literally woke up And I was riddled with guilt That this fence was just going to be like All these pictures and tags

And just like Haley Sproul Nothing ever came of it But yeah I'd panic You think they were like Well fucking idiot It describes her own name I know I know her but she wouldn't write her own name Yeah

Yeah you'd be like I'm not that dumb She'd have written sucks after it And then you're like Oh I feel personally attacked whoever did this. It wasn't me. It wasn't me. It wasn't me. Sam says, Fletch, you've clearly been a huge support for both Haley and Fletch, so huge pucky-pucky to you.

Born, Haley and Vaughn. What did I say? I said you, after I said you were ready. Fletch, you've clearly had a big support for Haley and Vaughn, so huge pucky-pucky-pucky to you. Pucky-pucky for our good friends. He absolutely got it this year, didn't it? And thank you for helping me laugh out later through my move to Sydney. Move to Sydney.

Oh, you're all right. We lost another one to Sydney. Highlighted here. Yeah, having Vaughn messaged me back after giving him credit for a strength and a tough year on the gram. That's Sammy's Maurice. P.S. I know I should be moving to Sydney, but I'm still settling on that one. Yeah. Juicy's moment of the year.

Honestly, nothing juicy here. Maybe it's still on its way. You're in Sydney. It's a juicy. It's a juicy town. Jesus, there's juice to be had. Good Lord, the clubs. Yeah.

The juice. All sorts. Reincarnation choice, a bird specifically a Kedoo so that I can fly, but I'm big enough to not be prey to many and still get boozed on the bottom. Again, you've got to stay at a haly's garden, otherwise at Cadillique. Yeah. You have feasts on a kidderoo, I tell you. Tiaoamutu, also known as Sydney of the Sydney of New Zealand, as we're going next. Jana says, I want to do a south shout out to myself and my partner as we're due for our first child on Christmas Day.

So we may be parents when this gets red. Vomit sounds expected from Haley and Fletch. No, we're happy for you because that's what you want in your life. And Fletch will be in South America and I'll be drunk, you know. And our friend James has his birthday on Christmas Day. He does. He always forget it. Because it's about Jesus.

Because it's about Jesus. And I'm out celebrating Jesus, not James. And we're quite often at the mission or the church on the Christmas Day. I'm delivering meals. We can't. This year we forget his birthday, don't we? No, like, it's too hot for soup. I'm like, sorry, man.

Why, you ungrateful motherfucker. And we combine his Christmas presents every year. Yeah. Horrible. But, I mean, good for you. Good for you. Also, side note, my dog's name is Kevin Fletcher. And I can't work out where we've got the middle name from.

So thanks, Fletch. I love that. That's brilliant. Sammoid and he's beautiful. Oh god, fluffy. Highlight of the years getting married to my best friend in February this year was the most amazing day. Hashtag love is not dead. Well, that's a big fat Ui on that one. Reincarnation, my dog Kevin. He's living the life of luxury.

Let's see how that adjustment goes to the baby in the house. Okay, don't throw it out the other side of the page. I don't know. He's another side of that page. It's got to be told. Paul and Wellington. Could this be Pauline Gillespie? Oh my God. The presence of a legend. We are honored to have you here. Merry Christmas. I love listening to a podcast. It feels like I'm working with my friend. friends, it's suddenly me and my boss at work.

A highlight of the year is I survived one year of parenting. My son, Louis, has also learnt to walk. Oh, fantastic. Good on you, Louie. That'll come in handy. Reincarnation Choice, probably a monkey. I feel like they have a lot of fun and no judgment for a good bum scratch. Welcome the monkey. A big fat bum scratch. So good.

Nikki and Fongamata. Minage? I had no idea Nikki Minaj hailed from Fungamata. She's moved. She's moved. Got a great tan. Yeah. It's all that time on the beach, Fongomomata. Long-time listener, first time podcast shout out it.

Don't worry, Kaylee, I'll take it. Well, you're the bell guy anyway. I don't know why it was near me. I'd love to shout out my good friend, Jenna. We're big invisible string theory girlies, and we've recently bonded over our mutual and long-time love of F-E-H-ZM. Wait, what's invisible string theory girls? The idea that you're attached to another person,

like a soulmate, basically. But are you, how far can you go without tugging on them? Depends that you've got, if you were to MIT to 10, you can get like 30 metres, 60 meter 90 meter runs out string theory literally Haley just said it yeah I feel it could be said it

I know please check with your fucking mate owl My chat GPT What's the invisible string theory Thinking? Weird to think I just knew it Ah the invisible string theory This one sits right at the intersection of woo-woo romanticism

Fate mythology and a dash of tailors with fandom Here's the clean breakdown There's an invisible string connection No ask for the unclean breakdown Give us a filthy breakdown I don't want your clean version It's basically fate but cute Destiny without the religious baggage

And romantic optimism disguises pseudoscience Taylor's song Invisible String popularised it massively in the 2020s The lyrics frame it as something quietly guiding two people to each other Through coincidences and nemesis We called this Fate Oh my god, I just found my hair It was in the back of my hat

Have you been looking for that? I've been steering it at this whole time I've been looking at this for 20 minutes Why don't you tell me I literally said before Where's my fucking pencil? I thought you would have known. Oh, I only just felt it then when I went like this. Okay, sorry. God's sake.

So they got invisible string theory. We recently bonded over a little bit. She has Tikawati royalty, a golden she's Fagan. Oh. Oh, she's of the Fagan bloodline. But maybe keep that part anonymous. Oh, fuck. Sorry.

Or don't write it in. Yeah, sorry. Oh, this will be why. She's happily married, has she recently revealed that born is her hall pass. Oh, okay. She's just an all-round gem in her birthday. on Christmas, so I feel like she deserves a shout-out and it definitely still counts as her combined Christmas

and birthday present. Wow, we love a whole pass. Highlighted the year, I had a baby. Maggie is a little sister for Marlon. They hate sleeping, but they're also the coolest, so feeling like I have brain damage is worth it. And super cheesy, but living in Fongomatah is like living in paradise, every day's a winter, especially when there's no blood in your stool. It's so

beautiful. It's what you can best hope for, eh? Wake up and there's no blood in your stool. I hope for a little bit more than that. Yeah, I'm going to say a nice day or sunny day. I've had a shit day, but there's no blood in my stool. Then imagine how worse it would be if there was. You're having a bad day and you're like, she couldn't get worse and then there's blood in your

stool. Yeah, that's perspective. Juicest moment in the air, like I said, I had a baby so I feel like the juice has been kept to a minimum. It's a juice when you have a baby. But absolute right angle, side note, we're good friends with the Bonners from Qaeda who used to babysit Vaughan. So feel free to include a lull of story about those shit bags

specifically been if possible... Let me tell you about these little motherfuckers. They were, like, their family ran the rally. You know, rally for good boys, Fletcher's cats contemplating suicide. No, he loves it every time. He just hangs out the window

and he just looks down at the world passing by and everybody freaks out when they see it for the first time but he does it. And now what he'll do is a claw that curtain. He's trying to eat the curtain. Stop eating the curtain don't let them eat the curtain. It is waving in the wind. It's a great bag. I know. It's a toy when it waves. He just gets very excited. Yeah, I know. I know.

This is his apartment. So carry on, Vaughnard about a ship bag. About the Bonners. Their mum and dad were members of the church. They also ran boys and girls rally. Do you remember there was like scouts, but not quite? And they did like this rally thing and they were like this lovely, like family. But fuck, those boys were little bastards. Really?

When I babysat them one time they said, help, we're stuck under the house, we're stuck under the house. I've seen that on, um, not like that. Help my arm stuck in the washing machine. Help, help, help, help. So I crawled under that. I crawled under the house to get them and then they zipped out and locked the thing. so I was stuck under the house. I mean, that's funny.

That's good. It's actually really good from them. I shook the thing until the little latch wiggled open, and then I came out and they threw rocks at me. Wow. Were you a loser? He was a four-eyed loser. Nathan, Ben and Joshua Bonner.

It's giving Vaughn was a loser. I saw them recently, and they were like full adults, and I think one of them had a kid, and I was like, I'll throw rocks at them. She'd lock him under her house. Yeah, I'll lock him under the house and throw stones at him. That's the circle of fucking life. reincarnation probably cat because I catch up on some sleep

and I could shit in a box and flet you'll deal with it I mean episode one he took a shit in the box episode one I had to deal with the pot stop eating the curtain no Murray this is you are the shittest roomy in the world your kids

freaking something and you're like oh I don't know don't do that Joshua Joshua don't throw rocks at Vorn he's here to babysit you oh god he's so funny he's such a wild person Rocks. Rocks don't hurt that. No, Marie.

That is a deprived cat, eh? Yeah. Like, he's eating curtain. He's literally looking the window. He's a window. He's looking the curtain. He's eating the strings. Yeah, no, that's worse.

Yeah. That's worse than looking for the window. He's frothing. He's frothing. No, flossing. Oh, flossing. Okay. No, Marie.

No. Murray. No. This cat. Oh, look at him now. Oh. Oh. He lashed out

Dan had a couple of margaritas and lashed out Sorry, Marie You know how I get a bit of a hard day Ten comes home Final thoughts from Nicky Is I know you guys have had collectively a really rough year Generally bring me so much joy every day When I've had a rough night with the kids

Or Works pulling up a walk on the beach And listen to the podcast I'm not so bad forever grateful If you guys enjoy summer and look after each other That's so kind It's lovely I do look after each other very well Thank you very much

On the next episode we go to England You're saying that a little bit funky. We go to England, Auckland and Skirtland. Yay! All the Lans!