ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Christmas Cocktail Special '25- Episode Sixteen

Episode Date: January 3, 2026

HEADPHONE WARNING On Episode Sixteen; We have a message from Tokyo and a DILF-loving listener!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Flashworn and Haley's Christmas Cocktail Special Welcome to the Christmas Cocktail Special The Live Shows and the Big Pot is back Monday the 19th of Jan That just sound like a fart at the end now That's a lot I don't know what's happening there Okay Jim please don't touch the special effects That's Shannon's job

Lauren is in mind Do we need to do a cocktail update Okay What do you want? We're back on, we're on the margarita, now the first margarita. Yeah. The limoncello we're reviewed poorly. Yeah, that was a pre-made limoncello.

It's a horrendous. Certainly no offence to our Italian listeners. It wasn't in a... There was nothing Italian about it. No, it wasn't. They wouldn't be offended by that, because they'd be offended by its existence. Yeah. We go to London.

We do, and Lauren says, hi, team coming to you all the way from London, long-time listener here since I was 10. Bell? Ah, I wanted to give a shout out to my two amazing friends. Flo and Evie. Three of us were at Mad Cool Festival this year in Madrid, and we noticed on Fletcher's socials that he was there too. He was there. In spirit.

You should have... Physically, he was present at the festival. I actually met so many Kiwis there. Ran into so many Kiwis. So many amazing listeners. So as a long-time listener, it's always been a dream of mine to meet the team. So Evie cheekily Fletcher message or two, and the meet-up actually happened.

I was stoked. We met Fletcher as much James. He totally remembers that. No, I do remember. I do remember. Front left of Jet set, which was 10 out of 10. Yeah, Jet was amazing. It was so weird that Jet were playing there.

Is it? Oh, you're going to be my girl. Like a strange, but they had a massive crowd there. Crazy. Actually, amazing festival that line up last year. They say you shouldn't meet your heroes, but honestly, Fletcher's amazing. Super friendly, down to Earth and such a cutie in real life. He is a cutie.

Massive, shout out to Fletcher being a legend and taking the time to chat. Before I go, I work on Harley Street as a nurse in a cosmetic surgery clinic. and one of my colleagues Bronte was actually the first baby born on Shortner Street you talked about this on the show earlier That's Bronte who we just talked about Wow, okay Now are you, did your kind of ears prick up there

and you think maybe instead of turkey next year Harley Street? Do you know what I do? Shit, okay cosmetic surgeon that's crazy because I'm doing tits at 40 face at 50 Yeah But I'm happy to crank that earlier That kind of fluctuate so doesn't I?

My weight? No This age because I thought you said the other day, you were maybe, I thought it was 45, and now it's 40? Yeah, like, I think I just had a glance in the mirror and I, in the bottom of the mirror, you couldn't see the tits in it, so I was like to get those up. Harley Street's where all the rich celebs in the UK go. Well, that would be lovely.

So she said, her juicest moment there are seeing some crazy cosmetic surgery procedures on some high-primeable. Because they're changing the way they're lifting the face now. It's not all just sort of stapled at the ears. It's very advanced. everything reincarnation choice would be major Murray Fluffington and highlight of the year meeting Fletcher made cool holiday of the year really feels like yeah yeah that's a big fan man

yeah that's really cool thank you yeah no one's up as the timer no one's up at the timer no one said it from here we'll vibe it from here thank you Lauren next is Shannon in Philadelphia Merry Christmas not Shannon no in Philadelphia Shannon in the workshop in the workshop in Philadelphia Merry Christmas to my friends and family and of course my three best friends I've never met nor know of my existence

Bleach Juan and Haley. I've already got a best friend. She's here. It's awkward, no, I wanted to hear that. Yeah. Highlight of the year, going to France and my sister's gorgeous wedding in Burgundy. Oh!

Wow. That would be nice. They'd be nice. Wow. Juiciest moment of the year when one of my best friends decided to start seeing the identical twin brother of our other friend's husband.

Okay. We were surprised they got together, but we hope it works out. Do you think they compare notes? Are they identical? Yeah. One of my best friends started seeing the identical twin.

brother of one of our other friends I have so many questions. Do they have the same same penis? Yeah. Yes, yes, yes. But if it's identical, isn't your whole body the same? Yeah, but what if one had a bigger dick? Wouldn't that be weird? You'd be gutted, eh? You'd be fucking gutted. But he might have used that. One of them might have sprung for that pill that I'm always advertised to

on websites that are like, hey, little dick. Oh, he's pretending to not know what he's... You know those pills. Well, so the Zike guys listens to what you say out loud. So it'll be you in the morning of a mirror every morning. Oh, gross. I say that. Good morning, little dick. Do you remember in the early days and people didn't understand how targeted advertising works and people would be like online, oh my God, I can't believe I'm getting advertised this.

You're like, shush, shush, shoo. Dude, it's because you're searching for things. Like politicians and stuff getting called out. But like, has anybody used it and does it work? Just our late before I drop. Before I drop, too much money on it. Reincarnation choice would be a golden retriever and an upper middle class family in the suburbs. That sounds like a life of leisure.

just snuggles in artisanal dog treats. Oh, I don't think we really touched on enough that Shannon listens in Philadelphia. That's so cool. That's such a cool. I'd love to go to Philadelphia. Most of the workers of Always Sunny in Philadelphia,

but I also know that's mostly filmed in Los Angeles, apart from a few things. Oh my God. That's really upset me. The bar, the outside of Patty's Pub on, or Sunny's in L.A. I thought it was a pub. I thought it was an actual pub. It's all old brick warehouse in L.A.

And they just put the pub fuzzard. This is bullshit. Entertainment. It's all bullshit. It's all bullshit. We're not actually. genuine friends. None of this is real. Sam's in Tokyo and says Merry Christmas

to my sister Lucy. The only other person I know that listens to you. I mean spread the word. Come on. Also R to FVH SC for always being such legends that's SC's Shannon and Carwin. I listened to you guys since 2012 and here we are. Fuck we are old. Thanks to the laughs.

Visited Turkey and had the sexiest Turkish man give me a hum-arm. Okay, what does that mean? Is that a sexual thing? I thought you should get him a hum-arm. Hang on, I'm looking up, Turkish. Total Peacock and knew exactly what he was doing. Lifted me up and yelled Turkish power.

Oh, okay, Turkish power. Like, black power? Turkish power. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Is it a real hard out gang in Turkey? A traditional middle eastern and North African public bath house. Oh, okay. So bathed her?

Had the sexist magazine. Steam bar. A public, in a place of public bay there. Urban dictionary. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, hang on. Urban dictionary was a hammer. So Sam's in Tokyo, you could get shown around Tokyo. You've wanted to go forever, haven't you?

I have, yes, yes. I'd love to go to Japan. And he's sad, hey, you should take him. Wait, no, Sam's a she. I thought Sam's a she. Hey, she, I don't know. I mean, we're daring to see him. No, it's still public bath, a public bath house.

Gave me a Turkish hamam. I think he maybe steamed her. You're right. Okay, I would like a match-o- And then yelled, too. Turkish power. Turkish power. Reincarnation choice would be a solitary tree overlooking a lake somewhere quiet.

That's our first tree. No. Is that no, we've had tree? It's our six tree. Maybe the person want to be the tree in the family. That's right. We didn't know where the eyes of a tree is. Yeah, okay, second tree.

Anonymous is from Canterbury, they said, Christmas card message, just got to make it through to New Year's. Yeah. Just got to get there. Highlighted the year. It took three years, but I finally get the DILF thing. Husband really taken to his dad role. Oh.

Oh. Juiciest moment of the year is anonymous, please. Brother-in-law that we don't talk to. Think, told the community husband and I were swingers, which is the only reason we wanted to be friends with people and weigh more shit. So this is the brother-in-law. This is what he does. We don't talk to him.

He had his second baby. He cheated on his wife just before their wedding. Went ahead away. Went ahead anyway with the wedding. Went ahead anyway, right, with the wedding. That was very confused. You should read these fucking words. I'm trying.

Like, they're right there. So he cheated on the wife just before the wedding. in the birthing unit for second wife, wife rushed in for an emergency birth. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. They don't talk about their brother-in-law because he talks some shit about them. Then he cheated on his wife. He told everyone that they were swingers. Yeah, yeah.

And that's why they wanted to be friends. This is such a thing in small towns, like we have some friends and everyone thinks they're swingers, but they all just get on and hang out. Hang out, hey. Okay. He cheated on his wife just before the wedding and the wedding went ahead anyway. Now he's in the birthing unit for the second child, the wife rushed in for an emergency birth and the first thing he says when the baby is born is if it has ginger

hero on a DNA test now this guy sounds like a wow he sounds like a POS yeah did we get the DNA test well we don't even know if it was ginger yeah but even if we should still get one anyway one anyway and also ginger's pop out of family lines like willy know totally totally just have one everyone's like recessive Jane yeah did you say we you're quite ginger beard yeah a little bit of ginger in there but I've also got like you've also got like you see my Ancestry.com, it says that much Scottish and Irish, I'm surprised I'm not a fool. You're a freckley part too. Not a full

ginger. A fool ginger. Ah, reincarnation, a cat. Yeah, cats winning. Fuck people and sunbathing all day. I thought you were just pouring that drink into the cheese bowls. I was like, Margarita cheeseballs, have we just imbedded something? She's making a potion. No, Emma is in Dunedin and she says, Merry Christmas, you filthy animal. The highlight of my year, I lost 22Ks. Wow, fantastic. Wow.

Juiciest moment of the year was seeing Haley perform the baroness in Dunedin. I am quite juicy. And my dog, Stella, is my reincarnation choice. She's a spoiled dog who sleeps in our bed and is the laziest, easiest, happiest life out of anybody in the house. Beautiful. Join us next time when we go to Newcastle, Sydney and the Tiawamu. And the Tiawamuatu.