ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Christmas Cocktail Special '25- Episode Thirteen

Episode Date: December 31, 2025

On Episode Thirteen; Happy New Year- it's time to evaluate the Cat and Dog election results!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Flash Morning Haley's Christmas Cocktail Special Welcome to the Christmas Cocktail Special Our live shows and The Big Potter back on Monday the 19th of January Now we head to the land of Hobbitant No, you missed that I just reached Matta Matta Mata

Haley says thank you three for making work Not so boring while listening to you for the past year She'll listen to us while she does Mahi While she works She's going to Mahi finishing my first year of tech after two years of figuring out what I wanted to do with my life with my level five and massage therapy onto next year where I'll be training for remedial work and start working with men's rugby.

Now, are you, a question, are you allowed to when you do, what is it? Level five, no, level five. So how many years of massage therapy learning? She said it's her first year of tech, she's doing level five massage therapy. Jesus. But are you when you've got your full qualification? Does that be, you're allowed to pack who you do the massages on? I don't know that you are allowed to pack.

Well, she's doing it with men's rugby. She's made, she's drawn a line in the sand and she's like, I will only massage men. Because that's better than going to a hotel and it's all just like businessmen, you know. Oh, you know, old and old and they're, like, it's not that kind of massage. Yeah, yeah, but you want to have a peek. But it could be if you're hotter. Is that what you're saying? Well, I don't know, maybe.

Massage therapist probably fucking hate this chat. They're just like, fuck you. Jersey's moment there was hearing Haley's special Jason Mamaw story at her Hamilton show. My partner questioned if it was true. That's for the live show only. Really? No discussion here. And I actually do say, Haley, in that show,

that I'll tell that story, but no one's allowed to tell anyone. She's told it. And I won't say it on the podcast. Reincarnation choice, obviously a cat. They get all the love and the affection from everyone, but they look cute and sleep, or an 1800s-1900s New Zealand home vibe. She wants to be reincarnated as a home from the...

A cat in an 1800s, 1900s, 1900s, 9,00s New Zealand home zones. There'd be one of those old fireplaces, you'd be warm. You'd be riddled with borer. God, you'd be riddled with borough. They'd have so much borough. People look at you and all they see is a money pit. Someone would have come along as well and done a 70s renter and shoved a bunch of asbestos tiles on you. Oh, yeah, of course they'd want.

And when the council records were a bit, hmm-ha, ha, higgily-hug-hug-hug-hug-hug-hug-hug-hug-hug-hought-fire. Yeah. Caroline is in Flatbush and she says Merry Christmas to Carwin, Shannon, Fletch, Vaughan and Hayley, Anne Herman. Keldit. 2025 is in a crap year for a lot of us. My mother passed away this year after her breast cancer came back in her lungs this time. I'm so sorry. Absolutely fucking sorry to hear of that, Caroline.

But you've kept us laughing out louder, so thank you. Here's to a much better, 26. Cheers to that. Here's to that. We'll do it all. To Carolyn's mom. To Carolyn's mom in 2026. Not dry.

Dry pegging you. We've put the lemon cello. We've added a bit of soda water. Still a lot of, I've just, while I had left got filled up or soda. Sometimes you wonder to these people test the product.

You know, like they make something like, you know what we should do? We should have a group of friends around. We've invented this new drink. We're going to sell it on the market. We'll see what our friends say. What if their friends are too nice though

and they're like, oh, put my blood, sweat and tears into this? What are you thinking? Someone's like, but surely the person who made it. It's so great. What the fuck made you think? I'll bottle that.

It's ready. Jesus Christ They need to work on that Don't they That's yuck We're nearly finished We'll be on to the next one So

What is next? Maybe a margarita Or espresso martes I've got some friends popping over to join us In the festivities I think espresso marts Love nice

Perfect Okay I went to a wedding in Scotland Yes many men in kiltz And also did a rodeo around Scotland Fuck That's my dream And to go on that train

From Harry Potter We picked the best week In terms of weather It was so sunny and warm We couldn't but I leave our luck The OG O'Bahn and the Isle of Sky to fantastic

Whiskey Regents as part of my heart in the Scotland Scotland is gorgeous A juiciest moment of the year when I told the fuck what I'd work with for four years

that he needs professional helpies as a compulsive liar and doesn't seem to know how to stop and therefore no one at work trusts him with anything it was on my last day

so I knew it couldn't get fired or toll off and let me tell you I floated out of that meeting room back to my desk Wow that would have been amazing

What a good feeling Reincarnation choice dogo They love unconditionally and get spoiled rotten. Late running from the dogs, but cats still winning. Portia is next year is from Napier. Kilda fam. Shout out to the FVH only fans Sal and shy. What?

Shout out to my FVH only fans Sal and shy. Maybe a group chat now. Oh, okay, okay. Only fans. Yeah, I was like, maybe they listen to the show but do only fans. Yeah, maybe.

Do you have a discount code or... Yeah. Some freebies, like a month free, like SkySport. Haley will do her feed on there. Haley will put her feet on. Only feats. Just, you know. Highlighted there, my daughter meeting someone famous,

Herman the German, came to the classes. He's very famous. He's very famous. He had a big year. Huge year. Ross a limb. Lost a limb. A panda, have you seen them?

Large, in charge, cuddly and cute. So there's another one. Has panda come into third now over dolphin? Cat dog panda? Probably. I probably should have been keeping a tally, eh? Yeah. Doesn't matter.

No one cares. Maybe someone listening to these fantastic little podcasts we're putting out over summer can do it like a running tally. Well, cats are going to win. I mean, cats, there's no way... It's not as if it's suddenly we're not going to hear about cats anymore. If this was the election for mayor or prime minister,

we would have called the election. We'd call it. I don't think we'd be calling it yet. There'd be no call from the dog to the cat just yet. It should we leave the process. No, he would have called. The dog would have been picking up the phone now and saying congratulations.

You know, that definitely would mean we're taking too many early votes from the cat heavy areas. Everybody at the dog parties, somba. We're strongly for special votes yet. Have we got the special votes? Special votes. Special votes. Always go for cats.

Special votes. Do they? Traditionally for cats. Bell is next. She is from Australia. She says, shout out for giving me a boyfriend company on a two-week trip,

long-time listener on Spotify. Can I suck out a bell sound? And cough. She'll be on. Eye heart. Cough it back in his eye heart. I sucked the sound on my throat. No, to be, to be fair,

we don't really care. Will you listen to we? Just listen. Just listen. Just listen. It's like, you know, we're not the La Leche League of streaming platforms. The La Leche League. As long as that baby's fed.

Fed is best. Fed is best. I'm certainly not tangoing with them. I have once before, and I agree. Now wishing I would. No, that good, whatever. Highland of year, finally traveling to New Zealand, Lake Pukake was a delight. Down south?

Maybe. Oh, you like Pukaki. Yeah. Isn't that what? I'm sure I've seen a video. Like, is that the one just out of Rokke? No wait. Like Pukaki.

Is, oh yeah, this is beautiful. I'm like, we're saying all the vowels, right? I'm just scared. That you drive down the side to get to, like, Mount Cook. Oh, how? Yeah, Mount Cook. Right, so down south. Lentana, and you turn off just after Twisle or before.

Shit, okay. Yeah. To go to Aoraki, that's where I went to go hiking. Oh, Rukki, yeah, it's lovely. It's so beautiful. I love Lake Kentucky. The bluest lake is. New Zealand, they say.

Like poo khaki if you're just from around. Yeah. Juicest moment of the year I got into law school. Juicy. Congratulations. That's juicy. Reincarnation. Didn't.

No. Well, she's in law school, but she hasn't passed the bar. Reincarnation choice, a very loved cat or dog. So that's a, okay, hang on. I think that's, um, we're going to strike that out. That's negative. Is that's negative? Yeah, it's cancelled.

And either. Yeah, so I'm going to cross that up. Cool. Reis is in Christ, Judge. Merry Christmas to all my family and friends. You're all amazing. love you. Hollow out of the year, watching my little baby boy grow up.

Drew's this moment of the year, getting my vasectomy done which took two attempts. They couldn't complete it in one appointment. A massive dick. Got a massive dog. Huge pipe. He's got a huge hog and a tiny pipe. They could have a tiny pig and Reese's a huge hog.

Now when are you getting, is 2026 going to be the year of the vasectomy? I don't know. Because you are so fucking useless. I saw an old dad the other day and I was just like, maybe I got it in. No, boy. Oh, my God. Do I need to show you your bank account? No, you don't.

Thank you. We already struggle to get you to come hang out with us. Well, maybe. Do you want us to organise a promo next year? We'll be doing it on the radio. Just kick him in the dick. Just kick him out of the dick. Don't kick me in the dick.

Come on. Please don't kick me in the dick. Rehnacconation choice, elephant. Elephant making a player. One you can ride or one that's just free in Africa. Oh, Haley. We don't run elephants regardless of where they're Asian. Well, maybe historically we might have, but we know

better now. Hey! We just throw the paper through the fan. Okay, do not throw things at my ceiling fan, thank you. That's very expensive. I don't actually do whatever we want to do. You're not the boss of us. Amazing. You're in my house. Oh, yeah. Join us next time

where we go to Ash Burton and the Hunter Valley. Oh, lovely wines.