ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Christmas Cocktail Special '25- Episode Thirty!!

Episode Date: January 17, 2026

On Episode Thirty; It's our final episode and Hayley is treating us to some accents!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Flash Morning Haley's Christmas Cocktail Special Welcome to the Christmas Cocktail Special Our live show and Big Pod is back Tomorrow if you're listening to this on the Sunday The 19th of Jan Hey! Otherwise it'll just be the next podcast after this one If you're listening somewhat delayed

Yes Doesn't matter. After holiday So this means holidays will be at an end Oh my God, yeah And a fresh new year With fresh new dreams and goals And it's going to be beautiful Everything resets, all the problems

have gone away. All the problems are gone. Damien is in Ireland and he says, huh? No, I did Georgia at the end of the... Oh. No, you didn't.

I didn't do Georgia. You dumb fucking idiot. Okay. What a thickie. It's so hard doing this podcast with you. All right. Shout out to my partner. Says Georgia in Altero in New Zealand.

Shout out to my partner. Maybe fiancé when this is. Maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe. Maybe. Oh wait. Is she doing that thing which she's asking or she's just holding out that.

No, she thinks he's going to ask. She might have found a ring. She's got something. The clues are there. Shout out to my partner, maybe fiance when this is. For sticking it out with me in a year of adventure,

we just got back from the UK where I was completing a Masters at Oxford. Oh! Oh, a master. And he loved me and he supported me all the way through despite my semi-regular

crash outs. So nice. I mean statistically, though. Highlight of the year. Highlight of the year, representing Oxford and the Oxford v. Cambridge Aussie rules football league annual age. Not getting injured

despite playing as a starting rock and then promptly breaking my finger at the following practice. Oh wow. I don't know how Aussie rules works. They kick it a lot. They're so much spalter. There's little tank tops and tiny little shorts. And the paddock's so much bigger.

It's more like football. It's big homoerotic vibes. It's big homoerotica. Yeah, little shorts. Little shorts, big dits. And the arms on these things, but they're smaller. Like, if you put one of them next to like a ball black. Oh, yeah, that's that.

Yeah, it's the twink sport of choice. Yeah, a lot of twinks, yeah. A lot of twinks, if that's what you're into. Prancing around. Damien in Ireland, whether he's into twinks or not. We don't know. And Gaelic football, of course, and meant it in Ireland, that's what Aussie football's based off.

Of course. Happy Christmas to my fiancé, Ali. No, so not. So not gay. Well, Ali could be short for Alistair. That's not. I doubt it. It's not, though.

Who knows? Who listens to you guys as she bakes in the coffee shop, her coffee shop in Lestell, Ireland. Now, I'd like to know, does she do a good slice in this coffee? Well, let's have a look. We've got her Instagram here. At Ali's coffee shop on Instagram. Okay. So we can definitely have a little squizz as bad.

Shit, oh my God. Yeah. Yeah, the coffee shop this morning before we came here, we got a cinnamon scroll and it was dry. There was no icing. It absorbed every inch of moisture from my body. And I've been a biscuit since. Oh, okay, here we go. Okay, you've got, have you got an Instagram?

Oh, look at the cake. Oh, yeah. Lemon, raspberry, gluten-free cakes. Yeah, yeah. Oh, there's nothing dry about that. Miso, scallion and black sesame rolls, part of the savory scrolls they've got there. Oh, guys. Oh, what a beautiful show.

That's in Ireland. That's what I want my Irish pub to look like. Oh, I love that. That's the font I want. Yeah, the font on that is, what a beautiful cafe. That's, wow. Oh, wait, so this is Damien, right? And this is the fiancé

Yes Look at them with the little Returning back to the shop engaged photo Oh my gosh She looks so Irish Yeah she'd be like Oh of course I'll marry you You silly agent

Yeah silly age I bloody love you What do you fucking marry me love You're the fucking love of me life I fucking love you Oh let's go Tilly dear Oh yes

Look around a bloody potter potatoes That could be We got engaged in front of a waterfall That's lovely Good on you guys That looks really lovely. We'll come and visit. Okay.

Highlight of the year for Damien. Our holiday in Costa Rica were proposed to Alley. Just saw that photo. That was pretty cute. And she said yes. Or maybe a couple of days before that on the same trip where we did the Tarzan swing at the Zipline park and the new guy they were training in nearly popped my head off like a champagne cork when he fucked up the safety ropes.

But I ducked just in time. Yeah. You really don't. You really appreciate the Kiwi health and safety when you travel overseas. You do. I heard the train is screaming at him so I didn't get decapitated. But let's go at the first. reincarnation. I mean, ideally

would be something fun like a howler monkey or an apex pretty like a great white shark. Oh, yeah, shit. It hates monkeys. And those howler monkeys are like, ooh, ooh, ooh. Yeah, well, that's... The name is howla, yeah. Yeah. Given how ecosystems and climate are completely fucked, happy Christmas, everybody.

Maybe I could come back as the final artificial intelligence that will eventually rule over all humanity. Pretty much a god, you know, but an interventional one that distributes wealth evenly and makes it sure everyone is housed and fed and it's nice to trans people. Or a crow! The crow feels easier.

The crow at this stage might be easier to accomplish, but I like where you're going with the final solution to, I shouldn't have said final solution. Someone else said that once. Where they were going with the AI there that distributes wealth and looks after everybody. Anonymous from Queenstown. Shout out to you guys are getting me through the second maternity leave.

We were laughing out louder, KPI. I think I heard the word cuck chair more in 2025 than I ever have before. That's a beautiful chair. Also because I'm greedy. Shout out to my friend Jade, 10 out of 10, X and Herman. She will laugh when she hears this.

I'm not going to say anything cheeky at this time to get myself in trouble. Circa, FBH, Midwinter Christmas, Spish, 2024. Hmm. Okay. She's anonymous. We don't know. Yeah, if you can go back and find something. Really nothing juicy this year.

Most notable moment was shutting my hand in a car door, blood pouring with blood, a hand pouring with blood. Four year old on the sidewalk yelling, I need to go to the toilet. Well, number two is staring at me wondering what kind of circus family that he's been born into. Okay. Reincarnation Grizzly beer, so I can hibernate and sleep for a long time and wake up refreshed for once. Lovely. Briar is next for a podcast

Shatter and our penultimate. It is penultimate. Penultimate. We made it and actually I'll say not too sloppy. Nah, pretty good. We've been sloppy. Thankfully you were

demoted. Demoted on drinks. So, yeah. Well, I offered to make another one. Everyone was like, no, no, no. Sit down. Sit down. It's fine.

Pericino Martinez, you call them. Briah says, hello. FV.H. and any other members of the giggle or other friends that may be present. It's Mike and Jess. Mike and Jesse here.

We've really been left by the giggle. This Tuesday thing does not work for the gathers. In the past years, the giggle have often joined us and derailed the evening. Yeah. Well, fuck them. Fuck them. My shout out goes to my... Long-time listener, sometimes the poll replyer.

2025 has definitely been a year. Let's leave it at that. My shout-out goes to my bestie, Amy, not just because she's one of my oldest friends, but also because we've been giving each other podcast shoutouts for nine years. Nice. A massive thank you to the team for providing laughs. When everyone, it sounds like you guys have had times this year when you don't feel like laughing. It's crazy people picking up on that.

May I see the topic of silliness of the podcast shoutouts, you see one day, I think it was when I was checking out Haley's fans' new website. Hallysprow.com. Also saw her acting page where she said she can do the following accent. Oh, yes. Okay. Yes. Oh, my God. This is so good.

Thank you, Bray. Okay, let's go through the list. American Standard. Oh, hello, my name is Haley, and I am, like, having a little time with my friends and a drink. That sounds like the... It's a little bit like California. Zoom. Oh, recording in progress.

Which I think I'll take the job from. Yeah. Australian. Yeah, good are you sick, bitch. How are you, Mike? Let's go catch some surf. British. Hello, darling.

I'm Giro Knightley, and I'm famished for dick. Cockney. What? That wasn't a piracy. I don't know. Excuse me. How dare you do that to hear a nightly. I'm so poached by you darling.

Cockney. Hello, my, it's me. If you were listening from a star, I play Bert in Mary Poppins. French. Hello, my name is also France, and I also love to have a croissant. New York. Wait, wait, you're going to join me, Vaughn. Hey.

Hey! Hey! Hey, we're walking in! I'm trying to get to the fucking theater. Get the fuck out of the way! Come on, coffee and bono! Get out of here! I want a fucking pastrami sandwich.

Gabagoo! Indian? I can do it. Don't do it. I can do it. There was many of us in this relationship wasn't there. That's Lady Diana, you know,

she was doing that interview. It was quite a crowded relationship. But what is Aunt Pian? Royal pronunciation. Oh, okay. She was like, and my mother would have said. this to me and I died. Somalian.

That's not on the list. Southern American. Can you help me move this sofa into my van? I for some reason thought that was going to be South America. Oh, you're going to go like, oh, South American. Kissy, kisses for Pop. Oh, Poppy. I still want kisses from Papi.

I do work today. I see you later for kisses. I thought since we had heard such stellar accent, from having this year, she could give us a sample of her accents. Well, there you go. It's actually crazy, though, that they have not asked for my native tongue. Yeah. I know.

My friend Mike is here, actually. He lived sometime in South Africa. Yeah, and didn't he say, like, he's never heard that. Yeah, like, where am I from? Far north. Far north. And that's where I, so my father, you're right, Mike. My father was from far north.

So far north, it's not in South Africa. So far north. Yeah, it's like, yeah, it's from Europe, yeah. Yeah. Y'all. Okay, the juiciest moment of the year for Briar. I don't think I can share the juiciest. So share one of the crazier things, which is the same month my partner's car got stolen

and my car got crashed into a written off. The craziest part is my car got crashed into when we were literally driving back from picking out my partner's new car. Oh, bum bum. It was a year. I want to know the juiciest. Yeah. I know.

What are people holding back on the juice? Rancarned would be tailorsesw's cat. Oh, my God. I feel like I would do as well as an animal to fendom myself. She's got a Scottish phone. Hey. Guys, this is out final. Band and some of those.

Final shoutout. Hey! That was a good way. Final, final page of the shoutout. This is that. This is that. Liam. From Melbourne.

Hi, F.E.H. It's Liam here. Shout out to my hopefully by now fiancee Jess. Popping the question soon. So fingers crossed that this shout out doesn't age badly. Now, let me... Was the person that said before

that they hoped they were going to get proposed to This isn't the other half of that, is it? Oh, my God. Am I have a connection? Y'all, do you? I don't know. Oh, love is a laugh, y'all. She loves her dog, Richie, and her

E-Ole more than me, but I'm fine being the third wheel. Sounds like you're the fourth wheel. Yeah. You're not really a priority. Highly, hopefully getting engaged. Juiciest moment of the year, buying an engagement ring right before our dog needed knee surgery.

I sat on it for eight weeks during his recovery. Then he got gas-drawn proposal day. The universe hates me, and his reincarnation choice would be a golden retriever. Fantastic. Is that it? That's it. Which means we are now officially...

That was my best paper into the fan yet. We're officially back at work. Tomorrow we're. After four weeks off, tomorrow we're back at work. Haley! What was that? Haley just pushed my fucking iPad onto the porn. Excuse me.

He watches porn on that. I don't. It's my YouTube pad. You don't? So if I go on it... Does it work? Yes, you're fine. Do you watch porn on that?

Oh, thankfully it works. Yeah, fantastic. Face ID, me? No, I'm not face ID. Oh, wow, he really doesn't want a face ID. I think he's a pin guide. Well, thank you so much for listening to our Christmas podcast specials. Over the summer break, we'll be back with the big show and the live show from the 19th of January.

Maybe. Any last words? That's tomorrow. Maybe if we've made it through summer alive, yeah. Yeah. Shit, that'll age so badly if one of us dies. Hmm. I think it'll be.

How are you going to die over summer? How would I die over the summer? Fletch is going to get... Well, he's going to South Africa. You can get trampled by Zebra. In Brazil. Yeah. You're going to get trampled by an animal.

Vaugh, you'll be doing a ride-on mow. Yeah, and it'll flip over. It'll trap you and mow you to pieces. God, that's a lot. Well, I mean, that's okay. Or just shave up a leg. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, there's a quick 15KG's weight loss. lose a leg. I'm sorry, does it count if all of a sudden you've lost, I had a leg amputated? I don't think you can go on Instagram and be like, guys, had a massive shred. At Vaughn Anonymous, 80KGs. Yeah, yeah, at this P-P, thanks for all the help base.

There's got to be an upside to an accident amputation. But you've got to count your prosthetic leg as a new weight. No, no, no, no, no. I take it off, for weighing. It's like taking off boots. Taking off boots and jeans. Are you taking it in the helicopter or going on the bungee

with it? Are you bunging? No, not bunging with my artificial leg. What if it falls off and it falls in the canyon? I'll never get that back. I don't know. I don't know. We'll have to ask an amputee. Yeah, if you're an amputee and you're listening. Oh, look, I don't.

What do you count as your weight? Do you include the artificial leg or not? I wouldn't. No, I wouldn't. I had a friend who got a hysterectomy for like removal of her reproductive system and then she messaged the next day and was like, it's only 400 fucking grams. I feel ripped off.

That's amazing. I was like, oh, mate. I would have thought it would have been. at least a couple of KGs. You'd want it to be a couple of KGs. Yeah, she would like jump on the scales was like, oh, Jesus, that sucks. 400 grams?

Yeah, they weigh nothing. How am I going to die over the summer? I reckon you're going to... Face down the spa? Yes, you're Whitney Houston. Passed out of the spa. You've got big Whitney Houston and the Star Energy. I'm sorry, but you do.

Jesus Christ. That's why I've got those floaties for you to wear in your... Around your neck. Oh, I know where those on New Year. It's embarrassing. It's embarrassing. Just keep you above. All right, well, thank you, everyone.

and Kakita and we'll sing a little song to say goodbye. Come on. So you better get this party started. I'm coming up for you, baby. Again, no natural out was there, Vaughn. Yeah, you missed it on. Half a pink song.