ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Christmas Cocktail Special '25- Episode Twenty

Episode Date: January 7, 2026

On Episode Twenty; It's a literacy intervention!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Flash Morning Haley's Christmas Cocktail Special Welcome to the Christmas Cocktail Special The live show The Big Pot is back on Monday the 19th of January We're still going on it We're back to a lemon chello We're finishing that off We've had a... It's god awful

A margarita, yeah, god awful But this is a cosy-living cry So we don't pour anything down the same No, absolutely not And then you're about to make an espresso martini I have been known to make a rather strong one We know Big Heart of James over all the years has been the espresso mark guy

He's a good boy He's a good boy I've had to learn how to make Apparel Roll spritzes By myself Apple roll Now that he's left

I think you need to put my tuit on Off my tits on Aparole Spritz Didn't an Aparole cancel his Auckland show Because he was sick Fuck come on guys That was pretty jelly roll No that was just

We knew But the time people listen to this bro That is the lamest reference Don't put them Gentlemen, thank you. Oh, my God. She said didn't appie roll. Appy roll spritz.

Yeah, didn't epi roll. Oh, shit. Both suck. Yeah, they both suck. Yeah, whatever. Anyway. I am going to make espresso marts for everyone in the room. And I'll try to keep it down because espresso mats, that's the line.

Yeah. Too many of those. Yeah. Also, we've ordered pizza too, giant pizza. Also, I know people that you guys have been saying, oh, we had a margarita and people are imagining a nice, you know, out of a fucking can. Albers. It's not a margarita, it's an RTD.

It's a sparkling margarita. Nothing wrong has ever happened on an Alba. We've ordered two giant long pizzas, two giant round pizzas, and one of them has pineapple on it. Yeah, man! Wait a second. Did you just say we ordered some round pizzas? Yeah, because sometimes you're square.

The meter long pizzas are square. It's not talking like that's a normal thing that people order. That's what I order normally. A long square. You order the fucking meat of pizza, you sad fuck. Yeah, and I feed myself on it for a week. I never your tap, and I put it in their little containers. I write on the crust, because you know I don't eat the crust,

so I write Monday and vivid on the crust, yeah, because I throw that out. That's milk prep, yeah, that's milk prep. Just planning out where your pizza is going to be eating throughout the week. Let's go to Rolistan. Yes, when Nicole says French, I believe the French settlement and crushed you. Oh, Roleston. Roleson. Roleson.

Hey, fam, says Nicole. I missed a cut off last year, so this feels very 2015 to be sending in a shout-out. I'm a primary school teacher in Canterbury and I've taught for 10 years. I've listened to the show since 2011. I used to fall asleep to the podcast every night

until I moved in with my now husband and now we just fall asleep with a fan on year round. Just get a brown noise. No, you need a fan. I've been a couple of weeks with the fan on. Because it's been so hot. That's been hot. He was a shift worker, so it was his budget white noise

before white noise was cool. I now listen to the show, I'm doing chores, driving or just feeling overwhelmed with life to do anything other than lie my bed and listen. Vaughan is a dolphin is my pass card. Yay! Slips light on in. Haley is my spirit animal and PCOS sister.

But sister's about like cyst. That's clever. That's very clever. Fletch cat besties. Although now I have a dog and I'm a person. Not a dog or a cat person, just a person. Thanks for your service. Nicole used to be Greenwood, but now Whitaker.

Oh, I wonder if she's married into the chocolate. family. She's also made herself easy for me to find there. She's leaving breadcrumbs. She's not a job. She's handsome and griddling me. She's brid crumbing you, Matt. Highlight of the year is getting my literacy

intervention business up and running. I'm now only 0.5 at school. Wait, is that when you see someone that's done the wrong there, there, you're, and you're like, I'm sorry. This must stop right now. It's for kids falling behind, right? I'm falling through the cracks and stuff.

Well, now you made us look like assholes. Thanks. We're just having a fucking joke and making it lighthearted board. There's no need to have your assholes. They're not getting the home. Maybe the learning starts at home. Well, I don't completely agree

the government should pull more money into the education system. So I agree to T-O. Thank you. That is correct too. I agree also T-W-O. Oh, fuck see. He said, this is an intervention. He said I'd seen it before.

I've done it yesterday. I'm now only at school half the time and the rest of the time I do private private literacy intervention for kids with literacy struggles and learning or behaviour. Great work.

Juiciest moment of the year was getting a hot flattie. Wait a minute. You can't fuck your flatmate. No, but she's married. The husband works, shift worker can listen to the brown noise. Yeah, but he's a shift worker.

He's never home. Oh, my God. Oh, okay. Maybe there's some sort of arrangement. Maybe we can come to some sort of arrangement. Reincarnation choice, definitely a cat. sleep all day and give me a fuss.

Cats winning, cats winning. Nice. Good on you. Alfier from the UK. Merry Christmas. All my husband thinks you are the Kiwi morons. Still thanks you the Kiwi Morons. That's what we've talked to you.

We talked to last year. I'm a pod list. As I'm in the UK, I've made a note of a few segments from the show. I wish I could have participated in. Vaughn did the fact of the day and mentioned Stoke Mandeville. And pronounce it incorrectly? Probably just did it as well. They probably did it again?

Wait, what do you reckon? Is it Sto Oki? She tells us soon, I think. Stoke Mandeville. No, it's not the problem. We live 15 minutes away from that town. My children were both born in that hospital, and it's pronounced Mandeville.

Mandeville. Mandeville. Mandeville. How the fuck did you pronounce it wrong? Mandeville. And let's be honest, you've all butchered loads of Britsown and places along. Wow. But we don't broadcast here so we don't learn it.

It's a bit of a feedback session. Highlighted the year, our second child being born. We do take feedback well, don't we? Oh, particularly me. Love a critique. I love to be critique. Why don't you get up at fucking. four even till it.

Why don't you come say some of our fucking place names, eh? Yeah. Juiciest moment of there. Been a plain year, but if I have to answer, that's our juzeiest. In a plain year, but have to answer, that's our daughter was conceived in New Zealand. A few people did the maths, and we're surprised we got pregnancy early. We got a couple of Geonet reports of that one.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Did we what? My instinct is reincarnation choice. Wait a minute. This is a copy from somebody else's.

It says the instinct is to say animal. Oh, no, you know, just saying the same quote. Yeah, but my words of Kiki Palmer may be a rock. They're solid, and if someone steps on, then that person's out. So, wait on, no, but this is this Kiki Palmer. I want to come back as a rock. It's such a well-known cultural landstone that people, multiple people are using it as a reference.

We all know that for one. You're so out of time. I'm so old. Oh, I forgot so old. I literally have it tattooed on my body. My instinct is to say an animal, but I want to be left alone. So in the words of Kiki Palmer may be a rock. They're solid if someone steps on, then that person ends up in here.

Lovely. You know, the next person's name is none other than Patsy. Like your mum. Like my mum. Which is one of my, it's like, right now. Patsy from California, A. Oh, okay. She says.

That's a terrible Californian exit, by the way. California. Oh, Jesus. That was worse. I think we could maybe back in Minnesota. We're back in Minnesota, right? First of all, it's an honor to share the first name with the illustriest Patsy Sprout. She's an incredible woman.

Shout out to butter chicken sauce and nuggies. What a treat. So good. Not wrong. Thanks to driving with me, working with me, putting me to sleep, and most of all, keeping us Americans humble. Have an amazing holiday. Well, you are the worst of us.

Highlight, not Patsy, the other... No, not Patsy in California, God, though. Not Patsy. I completed one full year of my first big girl job. Oh, congratulations. Yes, Pats. Juiciest moment of the year. I'm in a gallon of apple cider using a manual wood cider press.

Very juicy. Wow, that's incredible. That would be yum, too, I reckon. Put it in and you screw that thing down, eh? Like a car jacket, it just meeches. Reincarnation choice, probably an Andy Warhol painting. Just to be colourful, hangout, be admired, highly valued and perhaps stolen as part of an exciting Hyst. Yeah, that's fun. Oh yeah, okay. Scott is from Rotorua. Merry Christmas

Fano, long, long, long time listener. First time pod, Christmas card poster. Have an amazing holiday. Thanks for providing the last in the good chat. Just want to shout out my older brother Neil. Thanks for being a real one. And just also accept this as your present this year. It reminds me. It's free. What do you call a person with a man with no legs? Neal. Wait, but if he's got no legs, he can't technically be kneeling because the leg goes up to the hip and the knee is on. He can't bend the... He can't... But it looks like he's kneeling.

Nah, it doesn't. No, it wouldn't. No, it's Shannon. Put that down. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs trying to swim? Bob. Bob.

Yeah, Bob. Bob. He's Bob in. I don't know. I'm not doing a third part of to this. Bob. Come on. Come on.

What do you call? What do you call a guy with no arms? He can't sit down. When he can't sit down He's got stiff legs No, he's armless, so Bloody armless No, he's Stan

No, that's so bad You're fucking bad I just came up with it Come on I'm distancing myself From this round of job It's good I'm more of a sort of chatty observational comment

It was a physical recession Thanks team for your local face And bum Of Zorb Have a good year Peace for free to hit me up If you guys want to come For some rides in Zorpe

Oh my God I love Zorbs We've done the Zorbs haven't we? I have no interest in entering a Oh my God, no, it feels like a reverse birth. Fucking out! And then it feels like a birth in the other end. Oh no, I'm not getting an assort. And you can do it with another person. Absolutely not. No, I'm not getting in a

Zorb. Highlighted the year, I got married to my beautiful amazing lady in March this year, went off without any issues. Also, my daughter's first year at school in a bilingual class learning her rail. She is smashing it, and I'm super proud husband and father. That's amazing. Juiciest moment of the year, honestly, so far lack of juiciness this year. But I did catch... Our listeners need to spice it.

up. I'll say it. He did catch some people getting freaky in the changing rooms at work. Now I've been in the Zorb. Wait, I think you're going to say in the Zorb. I was like, no. Yeah. As you're bouncing along, you're sort of using it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Well, someone could definitely get on top of the roll of their public. 100? I'm talking to you, Mike. No, I was taking an off mic

we're just having a little bit of an off mic. I was taking an off mic for a proposal. I don't want the listeners here in this field. So how they can explain this to their kids. It would have been sweet if they'd lock the door properly. Keeping that five-star rowing though. As per previous potty also not that juicy, but my daughter has taken a shine to slipknot.

Yay! She's a bit older for Dad to start listening to them again, I guess. That's great. That's a five-year-old. Reincarnation, probably a cow, not much going on, chill all day, eat grass, watch the world go by, then all of a sudden they're on a truck

thinking it's a field trip, boom, nothing but dark. Yeah, but then... Shot in the head. 5 a.m., someone's pulling your tits. Yeah, no, thank you. Not a bad way to start the day. At least 10 a.m. I don't mind a 5 a.m. tip pull.

I'll say it. Milk me, daddy. Next, Rothen 10. Milk me, sorry, don't say milk me daddy. Sydney, and please never say milk me daddy. Ugh, me daddy.