ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Christmas Cocktail Special '25- Episode Twenty-Nine

Episode Date: January 16, 2026

On Episode Twenty-Nine; Everyone's fave lyric is definitely "I can be your gyser baby"...See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Flesh morning Haley's Christmas Cocktail Special Welcome to the Christmas Cocktail Special The live show and Big Pot is back in just a few days Monday the 19th of January Let's go to Christchurch, shall we? Nope, we've just been to Christchurch, we're going to Auckland That's better, isn't it? Nod, nod, nod, nod. Nod, an agreement.

I think we're on our last cocktail and I would say I'm proud of us. We've done well. Nod, nod, nod, nod, nod. Nod, nod, nod, nod. Nod, nod, nod. What are we doing? I don't know. Horn's leading something I'm going with.

Yes, and you've given him one of your strongest espresso Martini's and he's a bit off track. Nod, nod, nod. Caitlin lives in Auckland and says Kiyoda. Kjura. Fletch won't hangley and the producer girlies. I want to give him a big. I'll shout it to my brother James

who's just about to take off his second year calling Edinburgh home. Very Scottish-themed these Chrissy cocktail species. I would say no nation has been represented as strongly Scotland. I mean apart from you. And where the fuck is South Africa? Because when we're on the live show, we get a lot of calls from our motherland. Yeah, we do, yeah.

I know. Well, no, that's South African New Zealanders. Yeah, no, I know, but I mean, like, you know, people from where I come from, where I hawk. You hark from the heart, land. A hark from Janisberg. Churnisberg, yes, how much, sir. Oh, I know.

Don't you hok at me? I'm not hch at you. I'm just saying, oh, I miss Janisberg. Right, you miss it. Yoh. Thomas the Gates? Ah. I just miss, for me, it's the animals, you know.

I laughed just living so close to seminy. I know, I know you did. Yoh. Big year for James who's been overseas, riding camels in Morocco to see in the Icelandic gazes. Gaisers? The Icelandic gazers. Gaisers. Real fart in the old brain there.

I couldn't, couldn't, didn't you? Gases. Like brazier. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like gaisers. Gay on the mind. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

It's like a backyard fire in a gay person's house. Hold on a god, Dan. Caitlin says to see the Icelandic geys before they've all melted. She's talking about glaciers. Yeah, she is. You fucked that up. A guy's the riser in the mount and squirts hot water. You've fucked that up, Caitlin.

You've really fucked that up. Glaciers. Maybe that's why because they're so hot they're melting the glaciers. Maybe. The gazers and the glaciers. I loved Enrique. Enrique. Enrique and Glacier.

One of my favorite artists of the early 2000s was Enriquez. In glaciers. Glaciers. Yeah. God, yeah. I can be your hero, baby. I can be your guys, baby. Can we just be serious.

Also, James has been Hoonin and Custod Tarts in Portugal and chasing after stray cats in Bulgaria. You've truly lived your best hot girl Europe, 2025. Love it. Hope you enjoy your second magical winter Christmas and channel your inner fletch walking down Queen Street when the Christmas markets get too created with silly tourists and you just need to get on getting on. Kilda. Keep slang at rugby and teaching the Scots the right names

for things. They're called mouthguards not gum shields. They call them gum shields. They go slap in me gum shield. They're gum shield. You can't they be going on the field of that, your gum shield. Oh, that's so crazy. And they call headgear scrum caps. I don't mind that. Scrum. I don't mind that. I don't mind that, but

gum shields. Also, just a moment, though, for a Scottish rugby player. Thank you, Shannon. Yeah, yeah. Love that. Most of all, we hope 2026 is filled with so many more adventures than new countries ticked off the bucket list. Nui'er Te Araujah.

Love Sophie and George. What? That's said it was from Caitlin. And then now they're claiming their names of Sophie and George. Look, we have had a format. We have had a formating issue. I think it's just pick a pass. Yeah.

How loud of the year is spending a week in Sydney shopping, eating and swimming in all the northern northern beaches. Reincarnation a goose Reunconnoshin, a goose because it would be cute enough to give zero farks and honk it shit when necessary. Cute. Okay, so to whoever that was to I just think we say to whom it may

soon. To whom it may concern. Merry Christmas to the whole FVH family. This is a highlight of my day listening to you guys. Tiagin. Teigen. Teigen. Teigen. It's tea again. All right. Get it right. I moved back to New Zealand this year and I miss my best thing in London so much. We both listen to you and it's a fun way to stay connected,

even though she listens a week behind because she doesn't want to run out of your eps. She's leaving herself a buffer. It's good to have a buffer because if you want two. Yeah, you can indulge. Clever girl. I was catching up with a friend and absolutely put my foot in it. This was the juiciest moment of the year. So she was telling me how she had a summer flung with an older guy,

to which I said, yeah, but everyone knew date is an older man. Come on then, tell me his age. She just had her hand over her mouth and was like, no teaks. This one is old. I said, yeah, but how old? Like, ready to roll into the grave? She laughed and said, I'm going to his funeral on Wednesday. Oh, my God.

And I was all like, oh my God, I'm so sorry I've really put my foot in it, but we both laughed. Oh, my God, she fucked him to death. Fucked him to death. She fucked a man to death. See, this is when I talked about many episodes ago, is that I missed the sugar baby thing because I'm 36 now, and this is the kind of man that I would have to go to for some money. You need to be a black widow.

That's your new thing, I remember. reckon? I know, but I'm mostly parkier. No, it's not that, sweetie. Oh, sorry. Okay, we're the black veil. Oh, I see. Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So you predominantly move to Florida and you find, like, rich as fuck old men. And you do shit. Heart conditions. You feed them up with, like, fried chicken,

like, treats. Absolutely. Just. And then, like, yeah. Yeah. And then they'll say, oh my God. And then they die, but you're already in their will. And so, yeah, cash out. And then you can come back. And then fuck someone. This is a great future plan for me. After she basically said that she fucked this guy to death, I really put my foot in up,

but we both couldn't stop laughing. She has a pretty dark sense of humour. Sorry, is she the first listen that we've had that's fucked someone to death? I believe so in all of our years. I'm just going to ding the fuck someone to death bell. If you have fucked someone to death, I would $100 in him.

Or text 9-6-96. We're not on here. When we return back from summer, we should do the impossible phone out. Have you fucked someone to death? Okay, to top it off, his son also saw her nudes on his. his dad's phone.

He's like, well, I know dad's four-digit pun, I better just go through his phone and just, maybe there'll be some lovely photos I can remember him, right? And then he saw your nuggers. How old was the guy she fucking did? I know, now we need to know. It was hand over mouth old, so that we're like

we're 70 plus. Like 36. Excuse me. 46. Excuse you. Like old old. Like old old. Like old. Okay, we need to. Also, also, please message in. So along with, what did we ask someone to message us before?

They're soap. That's so body wash. We'll update you with the first podcast of the year with the body soap and how odd was this person she fucked to death? That Tegan's friend. Fuck to death. So Tegan, please message us on our Instagram and we'll have that ready for the new year. That'd be great.

Yep, great. Would you see it as a compliment? Oh, absolutely. To fuck someone to death? Absolutely. I want to be fucked to death. Do you? Do you?

What a way to do? Summer fling, yeah. Why is she going to his funeral? That's going to be one hell of an old dog. Is that a bit of a... I reckon you fucked him. She fucked him to death and she's going to go and like parade around. Be like, and spill a little bit.

How did you know? I did that. I did that. I did that. He did. Jesus Christ. Jesus. If I could be reincarnated as anything or it would just be a pet of someone really famous.

I'm just nosy. I just want to see what they live like behind closed walls. Fair enough. Hannah's in Amsterdam. She said, Hey team. Long time list the first time writer. I wonder if Hannah's ever fucked anyone to death.

Well, I guess we're about to find out. Hannah, can we leaving in the Netherlands? And I'm the H from the Hats group. Huh? I'm a match to H. Hannah, Anna, Tessa and Sari. Right. We've been listening to Fletcher Mawin since I was in high school,

which is just that kind of right. Last year, so like two years ago. We're not that. It's crazy how I am now 57 joke in the 30s. I listen to the podcast every morning and share lulls from the pod with the Hats group. We're truly laughing out later as genuine friends. KPI. KPI.

Although 2025 has been a pretty shitty personal year for some. The content has been outstanding and never more relatable. Love might be dead or we might chuck a fat Uy. We might chuck a fat Uy. Keep up the good work and he's hoping 2026 is better for all. A highlight of the year and a personal recession, so there's been minimal highlights. Juiciest moment in the year, go to October Fest with work colleagues and reincarnation of choice.

I'll probably be Herman the German. Yeah, lovely. Love that. Be so bold as to request that. So do we have one more? We've got one more podcast before we're back. Lovely. Well, join us next time when we go to Ireland, Pointsdown.

And Melbourne and New Zealand, New Zealand.