ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Christmas Cocktail Special '25- Episode Twenty-One

Episode Date: January 8, 2026

On Episode Twenty-One; Kebab = ready to go, Burrito = Wait 5 to 10 minsSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Flashworn and Haley's Christmas Cocktail Special Welcome to the Christmas Cocktail Special The Live Show and the Big Pot is back on Monday the 19th of January I've made a... Thank you, I've made a espresso mart. They're a bit flat because you don't have a coffee machine still. Oh, that was... Yeah, that was quite pointed out.

They're lovely. Wow, wow. Just grow up. You drink so much coffee. Yeah, but never at home. No, this is... So I've got the Italian, um... Yeah, that's nice.

That would have been the way to do it. Oh, I'm not fucking around with that. You don't fucking around with that. I'm not fucking around with that. I don't fucking around with that. You don't fuck with Italian. I don't fuck with Italian. Oh.

Ah. Well, it's not Italy. It's Napier. Let's go there for our first shout-up for this sish. Olivia said, Merry Christmas. Happy holidays to you all, including Herman and perhaps Sherman by now. No, we didn't get Sherman. Never got Sherman.

You've even heard. And, of course, the Christmas orphans, which we haven't seen a death certificate of all the body. But I'm not saying we's dead. I'm not saying we's around here somewhere. Prove it at Mr. Fletcher. I'm an avid listen to the podcast in the last, brodie of my day. Thank you very much. And long, mate.

Continue. Highlight of the end, not a highlight, but I have to tell you that my partner really and truly does have a Rock West band name. Does he? I love this. They were called Eyes on Everything. And they won the Hawks Bay competition in 2007. They never got to Nationals because my partner, the screamer

was too much of a rock star and got kicked out of the band. Embarrassingly, he very seriously still brings up when we meet you people by asking, hey, did you know I was in a band? Oh my God, Olivia, break up with them. Oh, my God, that's so funny. How long ago, Hon? That's giving big peaking in high school energy.

Yeah. In 2007, 19 years, coming up 19 years. What is it? Seriously, go be in a band now. Yeah, go on. Cover's band. Yeah. I still love the screaming.

That would be cool. Do it. I'm in a band. Oh, we didn't start the timer, Haley. That's all right. You're too busy gobbing pizza. I am gobbin pizza. Slutty, too.

It's hot. Two minutes, thank you. Don't mouthful with your eating. I agree. That's fucking unprofessional. That pizza has pineapple on it. Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum. Carla, from Tooronga says,

I want to wish you all, but especially flesh all the joys of Christmas. and thanks for the lulls. Absolutely not. I'll be away when this plane's, won't I? Highlight of the year. Foursing your parents

have Christmas early so you can say hi and fuck off. Highlight of the year dressing up drinking babes laughing with me best mate till we wet our pants at the hokotick of wild foods.

Oh my best friends here we still wet our pants quite a bit, eh yes? Yeah still do. Piss sisters. Marie, stop eating the curtain. Hey! By the way,

we need it those curtains are fucking. I know, man. Man, I know man. But do you know what? Like, fucked. Who can be fucked, you know, with anything? Ah, I'm feeling that, man.

Feeling that, man, who can be fucked? I can buy some new ones. I've thought about it lots. And then I'm like, yeah, we'll just fuck them, too. It'd be fucked, yeah. Can't be fucked. Ah, juicest moment of the air for Carla. Why don't you get, sorry, like, what about, like, a butcher's flaps, like the rubber flaps, you know?

Plastic flaps. Plastic flaps. Do you know, I walked through some butcher's flaps the other day? Fuck, they were heavy. I'm sorry. How were you walking? Don't talk about her like that. Yeah.

Whether they're heavy, we love them big, small. I was walking into a butcher and the butcher had butcher flaps on the... As she has wont to do. All bodies are different do. On the main door. On the main door into the butchery. And they were heavy.

Like a wide flaps. They were like industrial. Like one hit me and I was like, ow! Industrial flaps was my nickname at high school. Yeah, yeah. And your Rock was band name. And my Rock was band name. It's by and by.

But yeah, they're real heavy those ones. Real heavy now. Juicy's moment there from Carla, for Carla from Tooronga. A short-lived long-distance fledgling romance That made me feel alive again Until it ended Started in Hokitika

Dare I say at the Food Festival Oh yeah Possibly Yeah Blossomed in Tooronga Where she calls home Yeah Ended in Christchurch wang

Oh wow Oh okay Well some things are just not meant to last They're just chapters That sounds like you met a Christchurch lad Yeah lad lad lad And he moved to Toononga No I don't think he moved there

I think he visited Oh yeah And then you moved to Yeah okay And then you visited Christchurch and we're like, we can't keep doing this. Yeah. Reincarnation choice would be a goat. They get to eat anything, climb random things and scream bleak with no judgment.

Not the first goat. Not the first goat. Next is Courtney and Courtney lives in Sydney. Oh, good-day, Mike. Hey, Vlecht, and Hay, Longtime, last time shout-out requester. Cook shout-out to my little sister, magenta, which is always the colour that runs out on the printer quickest. Yet, I never have anything pink. Printing anything magenta.

Like, what the... Where are you? You gone. Cyan are plenty. Yeah, yeah. A Merry Christmas, you loser. She says to her sister, Magenta. Wow.

Okay. Hope you're enjoying the thrilling Nelson Nightlife while I'm out here in Bondi living my best life. This is quite mean. Nelson Nightlife is not great. Having lived there for several years. Oh, yeah, true. Especially winter, it just is dead. I was just down there for a party and I had a great time.

It was propositioned. Really? Don't share that on the podcast. Anyway. I got lucky in Nelson when I was a young man. That's right. You enjoyed that. Wahinae on a Swiss ball.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Wahine, correct. Swiss ball, that was Christchurch. That was the girl that had her first lamb kebab. Yes. Her first kebab. I said to her. What?

Born was her first cab. We walked out of, what was that bar called? The grumpy mole. And I said, I was hungry, I'm going to eat someone to eat. Do you want a keb? And she's like, yep. And I walked, and I said, what flavor do you want as we're walking over? And she said, chicken.

And then I got the kebab made. Great choice. And I passed it to her, and she said, what's this? I said, this is a kebab. and she said, I thought we were getting chicken. Oh, like skewers. The chicken is in the kebab. No, no, no, no, no.

She thought we were getting a bachelor's handbag to share. Yeah, wow. She never had a cab before. She's like, these are delicious. I was like, yeah. Now, this was 2004. This was 2004. So it's a different time, but Vaughn held her up and yelled Turkish power.

And that's, that's when I was born, of course. You know, you're only, you're only, you know, Turkish power! Oh, wow. And she loves cabbs to this. So, wait, you had a cab and then you had sex. Oh, we don't fuck after a cab. Oh, no, a log of food in you. Oh, garlic and Hulomi mouth.

Yeah, anyway. Oh, no, no. That happened. What are we ragging on now? Not as filling as a burrito. The burrito's got beans in it. I'm not fucking after the beans. Sour cream.

You're running the real wrist. You're all going to be pretty quick. Tabuli, not a problem. Yeah. Tabuli, what a treat. Tabuli do the hooly. Black beans and salsa Give it 10, 15, 20.

No, it's going to be more than that. I don't even if you give it 20 minutes after black beans and salsa, that's you're going to be hitting prime two minutes. Yours is so catchy. It's perfect. Thank you. Have the Tupuli do the hooly. Black beans and salsa, we're not having sex.

Perfect, perfect. It's just something doesn't rhyme really well. Missing you, missing, roasting you face to face instead from across the ditch. Here's you finally visiting Sydney and realizing what you're missing. Love your dork. That's a real Scathing love, eh Highlight of the year was hitting the big 3-0

Survived enough disastrous online dates To write a book but decided to ruin the friendship And start dating my best friends cousin Shut out That's upbrates Best friends' cousin Dating your own cousin That's illegal

Marrying your uncle Oh God, yes, that story Oh my We've learned someone We've got some tea today We had some tea That someone was with their cousin They married their uncle

They were with someone And we were like That's a hot couple Turns out that's her uncle And they are together Juicest moment of the year It feels wild to include this When mentioning a new boyfriend

Soz babes Hopefully you'll never hear this But earlier in there I accidentally slid into An American comedian's DMs post show And let's just say His set wasn't the only thing That night

Oh okay And then again drew my Euro summer We need to know We need to know who this is. Courtney and more details. How we find Courtney, how we find Courtney as we search Magenta. It's an unusual name. Magenta Nasson.

No. We find her first name. We find her first name. Then we find her last name. Then we use Courtney. What American comedians have been touring to Sydney? All of them? Matt Rife.

Boo. Oh, boo. No, we don't like it. Oh, we don't like it. Oh, we don't. It doesn't mean the dude don't fuck. Oh, okay. American male comedians,

Sydney. I say we move on. Okay, we're not going to try to find out who. Reincarnation choice, a dog of a single white girl in her late 20s, early 30s. Sorry, just like the worst image of Chris Lilly came up and it really... Oh, bless.

Okay, it was Chris Lilly. Okay, if you could fuck one of Chris Lilly's characters, who would have been? Oh, okay. The one that rolled to LaRue. Oh, my God, Pat. Yes, oh my God, Pat. You're same. I'd probably do the South...

African dog whisperer. You know, that was for like a later... Yeah, that was brown for, though. I don't know if you would. Yeah, but like a good yawn, you know. Talk about being cancelled. Yeah. Alex is next.

Alex from Dunedin. Hello. Glad you've all made it to the end of what sounds like a major year. Apart from Fletcher, she seems to be cruising along, having a great time in life. I'm actually having a good time, yeah. Thanks for the always reliable podcast entertainment. Former request to please pronounce Rolliston correctly.

It's Rollston. No, it's not. Well, as we previously mentioned... I think Silent E like Gloucetch... Gloucester. It's Rollerstead. It's the name of my cat. Everyone in the town also gets it wrong,

but you have a far reach to spread the good word. Merry Christmas. Rolliston. No, it's Rolliston. Reincarnation cats, because of pats and naps in the sun, plus periodic episodes of craziness. Okay. Hello.

Flictus Mines going to get food. We'll be back. See you next episode. we're going to Hong Kong, baby. Hey, that was Hong Kong.