ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch Vaughan Hayleys Christmas Cocktail Special 25 Episode Twenty Two

Episode Date: January 11, 2026

On Episode Twenty-Two; we've got a gay little rhyme! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Fletchworn and Haley's Christmas Cocktail Special Welcome to the Christmas Cocktail Special The Live Show and the Big Potter back on Monday the 19th of January Oh for fuck sake! He went up pizza and so I was like, it's the safe time to eat and then he sat down and said talking straight away. We go to Hong Kong. Can I just pause though before we start to remind you Fletch

that your pencil is in your hat? I've left it there so I know where it is. No, but last time you were like, ooh, there's my pencil, 20 minutes of looking for it. That espresso martini is the strongest drink we've had today. No, it's not. It's not that strong at all. It's strong.

Jesus, great. No. In the room, that's quite a strong. Haley's best friend is here, and she said, I just need you to make a drink that's not a Haley level. Like, people, this is what you do. It's nice. It's good, but it's definitely strong.

Oh, she's sipping, and that is not. It's definitely strong. All right. Other friend? Do you think it's strong? Two, two. Two, too. As soon as it touches your lips.

It burns. It burns. We've got to Hong Kong for our next Christmas. Where there's another Jess, not best-ren Jess, another Jess. Hi, Tim, hope you all are feeling thoroughly tipsy reading this. Well, as previously discussed moments ago, Jess, the espresso boutons certainly had a spot. Why is your glass empty if you didn't like it that much? No, I find this is my problem. I can't say no to it.

Haley, can I please have a paper towel just behind you? Thanks. I've got you. Thank you. Okay, one will do. I'm sorry? Why just do two? Because they're my paper towels I'm allowed to.

All right. I do three paper towels every time. And I've been told recently it's excessive paper towel. It is. Hey, two segments is the perfect amount. No, three is the perfect amount. No, this is already double ply. So you're going six all ply.

Yeah, dude. You don't want to finger through and hit the ass. Wait, didn't we talk about this the other day? Yeah. Yeah. Always go multiple fly. The whole day you're like, I could roll that. I can put.

I can put. Move. I can smell it. I can smell it. Shit, it's on me. It's on me. It's on me. It's on me. I scrubbed my skin off. It's on me. I can smell it. It must be under my nails. I better chew them down. Pooh, poo, poo. That's how you get barley belly.

That's how you get all manner of things. All right. We go to Hong Kong. Jess would like it. It would be ideal if we could all remain unscarred. Massive shout out of Merry Christmas to my george. A gorgeous friend, Sophie. It's hot in here. It's hot. I'm thinking about taking my shirt off. Yeah, shirt off, babes. Can I have your singlet?

Can I have your sports singlet? I'll go get you the sports singlet. I'm running hot, man. I'm running hot. You are allowed to have your nipples free. If I do it, it's fucking weird. Apparently. Apparently.

That's just society. I'm not going to weigh in on that. No. It's too clammy though. It's a clammy day. It's clammy. We're at Fletcher's house, which we love. We love being here, but it's got no aircon.

It's just got fans because it's an old art deco apartment. There's no e-con can't have it because you can't put the pump out the window. Not like the good old days. You used to just hang them out the window. Hang an aircon. Do you know those bassinets they used to put babies in out the window of apartment buildings in New York when it's too hot?

Crazy. Oh, he's going through his drawer. It's blue! I didn't expect this. You're already wearing his grey sweatpants in which we could see your entire cock. Which is exactly why Fletch got them. It's sweatpants.

So you have a myriad of shorts in that room and you come out with the one pair of grey socks. sweat pans tis the season tis the season this is this more of this Nike yeah yeah that's right it's quite fitted it is quite fitted

you look great you look great yeah guys oh my god that's so much better my armpits can breathe yeah I was wearing heavy tea in my defence it's kind of humid day today on the record it started raining no no it is it is we're grateful to be here it's Auckland this place hey this place you know what I mean

massive shout at Merry Christmas to my gorgeous Sophie McGrathrew is currently living in Wales. I can't do a Welsh list. Do you already be in a village, my far and where? Lloyd Lungford, that's all I can do. Lloyd Langford in the wheels. So wouldn't it be McGraw?

Sophie McGrath. You said Sophie McGrath? I said Sophie McGrath. She's not a fucking pie chart. I said McGrath. T.H. That's because you went to Kip McGra to learn to read. You dumb fuck.

Sorry, that was mean. I just really mean. I did not need any extra education. Thank you. Please send all of your love and good cheer because as mentioned she lives in Wales so she needs as much cheering up as possible. I've bloody loved whales.

Oh yeah. You don't want to live there. It's miserable. Oh, it says who? It's great. It's great. I've never been. Sophie is such a fantastic person

and possibly the most knowledgeable person on rugby. I know one of my favorite activities is going to a bar with Sophie and watching men's faces as they try to mansplain rugby to her. Very quick as they're way out of their depth. Yeah. And I like to make it a game

by taking a shot every time I see a man's balls shrivel. Okay. What a woman. Okay, wow. Highlight of my year was definitely seeing in my 30th birthday at the beach at a full moon party in Thailand, followed by a fabulous two weeks in Vietnam. Such an amazing country. I'd love to go to Vietnam.

I'd love to Vietnam. Love Thailand, though. What did you say wasn't worth it in Vietnam? Hoyan. I didn't go to Hoyan. No, Hocci Minh. I didn't like that. I didn't like Hachiman.

Didn't like Hocci Minh. The guy. Just a big trail. Just a big city. No, but, Hanoi is amazing. And then north of that is Harlong Bay. It's beautiful.

It's incredible. It's gorgeous. A juicest moment of the year, I had an old woman steal a soft toy off me that I won at Bingo. I went to take it from her and she legitimately pouted at me. I was so shocked I let her keep it. Wow. Juicy.

That's probably on par with your juicest moment of the year, Fletch. Which was, what's that? Well, we see we're going to start to share some of our juiciest. You kick it off. You start. I didn't even know where to start. I don't know.

Has it been one of the juices this years on record? Europe? Oh, Europe was fun. Wait, has it been one of the juiciest moment in years on record or is... When did you hit peak juice? I don't know. It's just always juicy. It's juicy.

Charlie's bloody orange over here. Yeah, mate. He is full of pole. He's squeezing it out weekly. Squeezing and squeezing and the juice keeps coming. Full of pulp. Reincarnation choice, a dog, hands down. Any other answer is wrong.

A dog's life is heaven. Okay. Bex is from London, wishing the whole ZDM team, and Merry Christmas. I think of you as my father's. Furtherest? She put furthest. It's fatherest. Is it?

I've had many debate about this. Father's. We're going to literacy intervention here. Sorry, my best friend who's here is very intelligent. Right. I think of you as my furthest away friends or fatherest away friends. Fatherist? Fatherist.

Yeah. Furtherist. No, furtherist isn't a word. Because I use furtherist for years. and people would say that's not a word. Sounds like you both inhaled quite a bit of that father skills impulse in the... Your callback, can I say, Chris.

Your callbacks today have been 10 out of two. He's on, man. He's on. His callbacks have been amazing. I think of you as my distant, distant friends. That's what I do when I don't understand a word. I just change it. Most distant friends.

Yeah. 2026 is the best year for all of you. Well, we hope so too. It's just juicing year round for this guy. Highlight of the year being a bridesma for my best friend in France. Juiciest moment of the act, kissing a six foot five man. Oh. Oh, my.

I'm me and my. Did you kiss him on the belly button? Yeah. Because you're so short. Thank you for keeping that clean, by the way. It would be so easy to say kiss on the dick. It literally took all of my mind. Yeah, I know it did.

Reincarnation choice, a seal. First entry for seal there. That's a great suggestion, actually. They're like a massive one. Yeah. Yeah. Bar da da da da da da da da. Gorgeous.

actually. Fletch you want to jump on a third How do you kiss a six for five man? How tall is she? Tibby Joe's and he's bent. You just jump and go like that.

Is that two metres? No, no, no. Six foot six is like two meters. Okay. So close. Apparently. Bletch where are you? Bletch where are you?

What was that? I know. I just wanted this to end. Right. I thought it was probably the highlight of my entire broadcasting experience. Ashley is next year from Auckland. High Team Goodness, I was reflecting before writing this message and realised that I've been listening to Fletch and Vaughn since the days at the radio session that shall not be named.

Listening to the pot is a highlight of my day. The cusp. That radio station has gone downhill. My God. I don't want to say anything. I don't want to get waited on that. I've got some notes. I've got notes.

The pot is the highlight of my day. you two, all two, truly bring a light. I can really tell you your junior and friends that comes through on air. Oh, Shannon and Carmen. That's actually fucked. That's actually fucked. I've been here for four years. Highlight of my year is locking in a wedding date.

Reincarnation choice. Honestly, Albert Einstein, I know what I would like to know what it feels like to the brains in that guy. People aren't quite understanding reincarnation. I don't think. Well, I don't think the whole thing's a load of shit, isn't it? What I think, like, just have a bit of fun with the question. I don't think it matters.

What she's actually wants to experience this quantum, the TV show Quantum Leap. She wants to leap back into the body of a historical figure and experience their life. I think it would be overwhelming having a brain like that. Where would you start? Mine's so simple a lot of the time. It's basic.

Just want to be touched. I want to have a nice glass of wine, eat some food, go to bed. Get touched again. Get touched again. Touch yourself. Touch myself. And then wake up in the middle of the night. I don't want to sleep.

Touch again. I don't want equations. Wake up. If Einstein was you, would get nothing. done. He wouldn't have figured any of it out. It would have been the theory of masturbation. He'd be like, all right, I'm going to think about after I. M equals porn hub square.

He equals Fon Hub squared. And we'd be nowhere. Two and the one. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, that would have been, come on guys. We'd be without trains, wouldn't we? What? I think we'd still have trains. I don't think I'm going to be the trains. I think if you look it up, he invented trains. I think if you look it up, he invented trains. I think our trains existed before

Einstein was born. But I mean, I could be wrong. What do you know, Damo? to Madda-Matta High School or college or tomorrow's a college. Yep, nah, that's not what happened.

Williams and Western Australia. I've just completed my visa in the UK after three years listening to you guys every day. I'm a commute to work every day. Couldn't have done it without you. Thanks, William. Chalra.

Thanks, William. Juicy moment of the year, went on the lad's holiday and one of the boys played up. No! Nauty. How would you handle it? What would you do?

How would you... You are away with your group of friends if you've all got partners and one of them plays up, you'd be like, I would personally be like, fuck dude, I'm very disappointed. Especially the gays, like they never do that. No, they're very loyal. I was thinking

heterosexual men. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. The gays are on the play. Gay, gay, play all day, day. That's what the saying is. Put that on a t-shirt. Well, they'll take them with. No, it's not, I don't know. It's a bad thing, and both are the gay dudes are on that? You're all adults, so, you're allowed to make your own decisions in life.

That's, as they all want to do. I'd be so disappointed. I'd say, I'm disappointed in what you've done here. You've portrayed someone's trust. Reincarnation choice would be an eagle or a hawk. Actually, I hadn't thought of that, William, that's a fucking fantastic idea.

Great, yeah. Yeah. Can you more of those petrol strength Express in Martini? They'll only take me a second to whip up on. Okay. Petral strength. We'll finish this off.

Jason from Brisbane, Merry Christmas team and Jar Bless. It's been a difficult year, but I've gotten up every day and face the head. Oh, wow, whoa! Peng! Hangs! Highlight of the year, making some new, close,

genuine friends. Killed it. Juiciest moment of the year. We're going to gay. We're going to gay. We're going to go in our hands. We may have a go in our house. Well, are we?

Yes. Vort. This sounds like a story straight out of Les Mills. Les Mills, Auckland City. Juicy's moment in the air. A steam room encounter with a certified Australian 10. Now, Australian 10 is a New Zealand 12. Yeah.

Yes. But a Europe 8. Ah, and a South American. Europe 7. Oh, if you're an Australian 10. Yeah. Yeah, you're a Europe 8. A Europe 8.

Yeah, that's fair. Because what am I? I'm a. I'm a 7.2. Europe 4. A Christ Church, Les Mills 10. A Christch, Les Mills 10. Yep.

I'm a Europe 4 and a Brazilian 2. Yeah. And I know it. And I know it. Those are just the rules. Next time, when do we come back, we're going to pop to Melbourne and Auckland. And London, why not?