ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Christmas Cocktail Special - 25th December 2024

Episode Date: December 24, 2024

On Today's Christmas Cocktail Special; We hear from a long time listener, and try out our Aussie accents!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

For a few years, in the 1970s, the Mr Asia syndicate made millions. Heroin creates its own market. It acts like a form of play. Until jealousy, betrayal and murder brought it all crashing down. Then he just pulled out a gun, shot her in the back of the head, and then said to Wayne, you're going to help me bury her. This is Mr Asia, A Forgotten History. All episodes now available on iHeartRadio, Apple, Spotify,

or wherever you get your podcasts. Sledgeforn and Hayley's Christmas Cocktail Special. Welcome to the Christmas Cocktail Special. Our big pod is back along with the live show on January the 20th. We've just made another round of Aperol Spritzes. Sorry, Hayley has just made them. I think I've made them quite well. Yeah, you do really well.

What do you remember last year? Once again, Aperol Spritz. Our friend Toddy last year was our barman. Wasn't he lovely, Toddy? He's in London now. He's moved to London. Well, it's Aperol. Yes.

And it's, so I just do it in three parts. Aperol, Prosecco, and soda water. But I've gone a little heavy on the soda water. No, that's all right. It's the AM. Yeah, it soda water. But I've gone a little heavy on the soda water. That's all right. It's the AM. Yeah, it's good. We've got some episodes here. It is, for God's sake.

It's quarter past 11. We have to record 34 episodes. This is ep five. It is. Vaughton. We're going to start off with Neve. Neve, space, O. 25-year-old, from Christchurch,

happy Christmas to my extended family, of which I regret buying plane tickets to go and see. Fuck them. Okay. Extended family. Aunties? My cousin just stopped coming home for Christmas once. Right. He's just like, I'll just

stay down here. And hasn't been back from Christchurch. Is he his family? Yeah. Oh no, that's... His own family. Like, even I go back. I know. Yeah, Oh, no, that's... His own family. Yeah. Even I go back. I know. Yeah, you're not emotional or... Early-ish outside of the area.

If COVID taught us anything, it's that we don't need to be home for Christmas. Okay, no. It's that we miss our families and we need family in our life more than ever. Yeah, of course. Yeah, that too. God, we're just different, aren't we?

We're all different and yet genuine friends. Yeah, if COVID taught us anything, it's that people will believe anything, man. The government will just tell you that there's a disease and I've seen zero proof of it. I had black blood when I got the COVID vaccine. From the vaccine, yeah. I bled black.

Black blood. Yeah, black blood. Nicest thing that happened to this year to Niamh was I stopped feeling sorry for myself when at the end of the podcast outro, Vaughn says, maybe make some friends. I don't remember saying that. Is that a podcast outro that we recorded once years ago? Oh, maybe. I've make some friends. I don't remember saying that. Is that a podcast outro that we recorded

once years ago? Oh, maybe. I've made some friends only two years after moving to Auckland. Right. So she's in Auckland now. Oh, lovely. Okay, lovely. Originally from Christchurch. Naughtiest moment? I may or may not have been selecting cheaper items than the actual on the shelf,

than the actual on the shelf checkout at the supermarket. Yeah. Oh, no, don't do that. That's naughty. Theft. She called it daylight roll-on. They are. They're all over that now. Those cameras are like AI.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. This is an onion. It's like, the fuck, that's an onion. That's a red apple. Do you remember that was at Five? Those are razor blades. It was a long time ago we talked about it,

and then one of the supermarkets was like, rah. Oh, yeah, shut up. Yeah, it was like, shut up, talking about that. Yeah. Everyone loves us of the supermarkets was like, ah. Oh, you're shat. Yeah, it was like, shut up. Talking about that. Yeah. Everyone loves us with the supermarkets. I said, I think you're a dissolution. We're just trying to get by as a small business. Yeah, we're struggling, man. We're just trying to help feed the nation. And the banks

were like, we agree. We're struggling too. We're just trying to help home people. Yeah. With these great mortgages they can borrow. Cheap food and affordable loans. What about that other time? It was years ago. We were talking about insurance claims or something. And do you remember one

insurance company rang up and they wanted the number of the person that told us the story? We were like, fuck off. You can't give out that information. We're like doctors. Very confidential. Yeah, we've got listener radio announcements. We've got listener announcement confidentiality agreements. We signed a Hippocratic Oath. Yeah, we did. We're like journalists. We protectiality. We've got listener announcement. Confidentiality agreements. We signed a Hippocratic oath. Yeah.

We did. We're like journalists. We protect our sources. We do at all times. You won't know if I've got tomato. Or mustard. Mustard's not a source. That's a condiment.

Fuck, you're right. I'm so sorry. Barbecue is a source. What if it's a mustard that can be squirted out of a bottle? No, it's still a condiment. It's still a condiment. Barbecue. I would have accepted barbecue.

Sweet Thai chilli. It's called mustard sauce. And it's runnier than mustard. Now it is converted to condiment. It's still a condiment. Barbecue, I would have accepted barbecue. Sweet chili. What about if it's called mustard sauce and it's runnier than mustard? Now it is converted to a sauce. It's converted. Because you've converted to sauce. I met a nice sauce girl and had to convert. That's right. Otherwise her family would never have accepted his English roots. But it still gets called a condiment sometimes.

Yeah, it does. By people that aren't woke. Yeah. Anything extra to add? Niamh said, I have a great natural deodorant As someone who also seems to become immune To every brand after a while And profusely sweats at any given opportunity

Mitchum Yeah, I have thought about the natural deodorants But I love my Nivea I did natural for a bit when I I went down a naturopath Excuse me I went down a naturopath route Route

With my polycystic ovaries No, it's called route Because a naturopath route. Route. Route with my polycystic ovaries. No, it's called route because a naturopath has got to be from a tree. Yeah, it's from a tree. Thank you, actually. Sorry, sorry. Okay, yeah. And I tried naturopath. And you were also rooting your naturopath.

And I was rooting her. The naturopath. Shout out to Ange. And I, it doesn't stop you sweating. It just stops the smell. That's the only thing. It's not antiperspirant. Oh, no.

It's just deodorant. Yeah, right. You need that. So, Niamh says plenty of the natural ones suck, but this one's smell. That's the only thing. It's not antiperspirant. Oh, no. It's just deodorant. You need that. Yeah, right. You need that. So, Niamh says plenty of the natural ones suck, but this one's 8.5 out of 10. The only reason why it's not a 10 out of 10 is it's a putty, not a roll-on.

Yeah, I've used a putty. No, what? Yeah, you get it. It's like a balm, and you've got to heat it up in your fingers and balm it on. No, I'm sorry. I'm not having a putty pit.

I've never come across a putty. No. You might get putty. The one I got that was like the push stick. Yes. It got hot recently, and it turned into a putty. No. You might get pissed. The one I got that was like the push stick. Yes. It got hot recently and it turned into a putty situation. I put it on my shirt and then pulled it out and it was like next to none left. I put it under my arm and there was like heaps in there.

You see some people with those pits of their t-shirt and they're kind of caked. Yes, caked. Yes, caked. You don't want that. Because do you, Vaughan, trim your armpit hairs? Yes, I do, ma'am. Yeah, that's right. Yes, ma'am.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not as much as that. Do I have a good pit? That's a good pit. Great pit. Thanks. Good pit.

Fuck, that's a good pit. Is that a good pit? It's a hot pit. Yeah. Do you like tickles? No. Tickles in the pit? Here's a look at your pit.

I'm not showing my pits. They're a bit unkept. You're good pits, guys. Yeah. Thanks. I don't know why. It's quite a hairy pit, though. That's quite a hairy pit. Yeah, it's quite a Jew Yeah. Thanks. I don't know why. It's quite a hairy pit, though. Yeah, it's quite a dewar trim.

Well, we are getting, like, just before the holidays, they'll do an all-over trim. An all-over situation. You're going to have to get out at the beach and stuff. Neve tells us about this 8.5 out of 10 natural deodorant. It doesn't give us a brand name. Oh, okay. Neve. We can only dream of using it.

Neve. I wonder if Neve's on big if it was her deodorant she was trying to push, she should have mentioned a name. Maybe she's creating a sense of anticipation and allure. And so many people will message us now being like, what was the brand?

We'll have to reach out to Neve. We don't know. Next up, Earl. Early P. Now, Earl Tagderson recently. His Spotify. His Spotify wrapped podcast list. Yeah. Which you re-shared were very interesting.

This is his top three. Number one, ZN Slash 1 and Hayley. That's us. That's us. That's what's happening right now. Amazing. Amazing. Thank you.

That's what we're doing right now. Two, The Leadership Lean In with Chad Veach. Now, I Googled that. That's a Christian podcast. Amazing, amazing. Thank you. That's what we're doing right now. Two, The Leadership Lean In with Chad Veach. Now, I Googled that. That's a Christian podcast. Oh, okay. God bless. Out of, one of these is out of Los Angeles. I think that's the one out of Los Angeles.

The Victory Podcast is his third, and that is an Australian church podcast. Oh, okay. Look at us at the top. Heathens. I like that we've got some Christian listeners. Yeah, we're a bit naughty in that top three. We are a bit naughty. Especially Hayley.

She's going to hell. I hope we don't get Neve in trouble. No, Neve's been. I hope we don't get Earl in trouble. Yeah. What, with our heathen ways? With God. Oh.

He'll get to the pearly kings. Did someone knock? I heard a knock. Anyway, carry on. I heard a fa-fa-fa-fa-fa-fa-fa-fa-fa-fa-fa. I don't know if that was fa-fa-fa. Was it Dr. Shawnee? No, I don't.

It was Murray Farting. Anyway, carry on. Carry on. Is someone there? No. No one's there. Ghost. Just a ghost.

Must have a ghost. It's a ghost. It's God, because we're talking about it all. Oh, my God. A sign from God. God's like, I am fucking listening. Yeah, I listen to the podcast too. That's what God said. But we always say, God bless, and we ask like, I am fucking listening. Yeah, I listen to the podcast too. That's what God said.

But we always say jar bless and we ask for thoughts and prayers. Yeah. So we're Christians. We're encouraging. We're everything. Let us into the heaven party, please. Merry Christmas to those who celebrate. Is it the gay party?

Yeah, it's the gayest one. The heathen. Heathen. Heathen. Is it a nightclub in the UK? Yeah. Feels like it is. Very famous gay club.

I don't know. Take me to heaven. Very famous go club. I don't know. Take me to heaven. Take me to heaven. Seven minutes in heaven. Merry Christmas is ill to those that celebrate. I do because I like presents. Oh my God,

he's about this. One of his soldiers is prioritising, you know, that rather than celebrating the birth of Christ. Nicest thing that happened this year,

not sure about nicest, but I got a new job, which is very cool. And our boy Ziggy turned one in November. I love that name. Great name. Naughtiest moment of the year. I'm far too vanilla for... You heard that, eh?

Banging. They're doing building. It'll be that. Or it's God again being like, watch it. I'm taking an air out so I can hear the environmental sounds of the suburbs. He's far too vanilla to be naughty.

Anything extra? I just want to say to Hayley that you are awesome and you bring a lot of life to the show. Oh shame guys. Hopefully that Shame.

It was on bloody life support before that. Hopefully that can make up for when I said Vaughn was my favourite last time and Fletch I hope

I'm as fit as you when I'm 40 something. Yeah. Love you all. Yeah I am 40 something and you when I'm 40-something. Yeah. Love you all. Yeah, I am 40-something and I'm not. What's happened? Yeah.

Do I have to put in more effort? Yes. Because that's some bullshit. Yes. Yeah, it is bullshit. You do. It's all effort. Boo!

I'm eating a grape though so I'm basically undoing all the Aperol Spritz. That's how it works, eh? Yeah, that's how. Yeah, yeah, go, go, go. Oh, thank you, Earl. Yeah, alright, well on our next episode. Wait, God bless, God bless. That's how. Yeah. Oh, thank you, Earl. Yeah, all right.

Well, on our next episode. God bless. God bless. Sorry, jar bless. Jar bless. Thank you, Earl. Whatever day it is. Earl has been listening forever.

I ran into Earl once in Sydney. Lovely man. Lovely. Oh, my God, I'm going to Sydney soon. I'll see you there, Earl. Oh, shut up. Fuck you. Hey, guys.

I'm bringing life to this dead horse. We need a break. We need a break before Ep 6. We're going to come back with our next episode and give a shout out to Gemma and Anya.