ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Christmas Cocktail Special - 29th December 2024

Episode Date: December 28, 2024

On Today's Christmas Cocktail Special; A fellow smut reader is found out and someone wants to propose!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello and welcome to the Christmas Cocktail Special. We're back with the live show in the Big Pod on the 20th of January. No one told him. NZT. No one told him. Oh, are we not back then? Jury's out, mate. Wait and see.

After that damning report they did on it. I know, yeah. It's not good to return on investment. Episode 9, it's been an episode now in your life a day, but in our time, five minutes tops. How's the pimple healing? Do you know, I just went for a quick wee-wees and looked at the dressing and I'm very impressed.

That's tight. Well, he is a doctor. Beautiful extraction. Why are you surprised? But he's also not fucking with a standard plaster there. No, no, no. He's got one of those dressings that's got a nice line of adhesive around the entire outside.

And so he did it and he slowly, like a sign writer, pulled the thing off and got it nice and tight. Beautiful. I really recommend if you get quite a juicy pimple or a boil or whatever, get Dr. Shawnee to get it out for you. Yeah. He could charge or whatever, get Dr. Shawnee to get it out for you. He could charge. Extractions. Extractions.

People could book an appointment with him and he could charge. That's what you want, eh? 120! Because that was a medical thing. Yeah, actually it would have been. They used some plasters and stuff. I'm going to get pre-approval from insurance. Every time you get a pimple.

Next up for a shout out. Julia joins us from Ohio in the United States of America. Oh, Ohio. 27 years old, living in a swing state. Yes. Ohio is one of the big swing states. It is one of the big swing states. Christmas message. This time last year I was in a

personally devastating time. This year I've survived it. Keep on going. Oh, that's a beautiful message, Julia. Keep on keeping on. Nicest thing that happened this year was my new work from home job with great co-workers. That's nice. We've got those. Not a work from home.

No, but we've got great co-workers. Unlike that last person we gave a shout out to, you know, a few podcasts back, who was working from home, but actually on a sex bender. In a hotel room with a drummer. I'll say a right fuck fest. Stop ploughing me momentarily. I have a Zoom I must log on to.

We've got to prove next year's budgets. Mike's here. Hi Mike. Hi Mike. Welcome Mike. Howdy Mike. The naughtiest moment of the year was getting back into reading smart. My mum borrowed my phone and may have been able to see what I was reading. Oh Jesus. my um the naughtiest moment of the year was getting back into reading smart oh yes my mom borrowed my phone and may have been able to see what i was reading oh jesus my mom read it too she read that light romance growing up whenever we went like away for our summer holiday she'd

always take a couple of not mills and i know yeah kind of yeah not enough to get you horny yeah a bit like he took me you and he ravished me. Yeah, and he smooched my mouth. Yeah, not the stuff. Yeah, no tongue, because we're not married. That sort of Christian smart. No tongue before marriage. That's one of the rules.

It's one of the commandments. Anything extra? She says, I do apologise about the election. I tried, and it's more embarrassing and frightening for us than it is for y'all. Yeah. Unrelated, if any New Zealanders are listening in down for a green card marriage, applications are open.

Oh, lovely. But it's a green card. She said she comes here, not you go there. Yeah, because that's the thing. It's okay. What's in it for us? You could do a swap. Yeah, you could.

Yeah, just swap. I don't want to live in America, though. No, neither. Because of what they've just done. Yeah. Neither. Louise is next. Long-time listener, first-time caller.

What noise did we just say? We're going chimes for a bell. Yeah, that'll do. That'll do. Yeah, what else do we have? No. No. No.

No, definitely not. Birds. That's good for long-time listener, first-time caller. Okay. Long-time listener, first-time caller. Long-time listener, first-time caller. Yay. That works, that works, that works. Also one of the ZM lesbians.

Okay, now turn really loud. Now just pull that down. Also one of the ZM lesbians. Oh, Kia ora, good morning. Technically a bi-girly in a relationship with a lesbian. I think I still qualify. Yeah, all queer women of any form. You're welcome.

Now, what happens if you wake up one day and you need some time? You strap one on and you just get to. Wow, what episode is this? Nine. It's only episode nine. I'm 36 and I live in Auckland and have listened to Fletcher Vaughan since I was 18. Impossible.

Impossible because we're only in our late 20s. Yeah. Yeah. Ooh, like what? Where is time going? I work in marketing for a charity that provides equitable access to counselling services. Not to go on about it. Wow.

She does a charity. Good. So do we. Also studying for an MBA. I love basketball. Yeah, I was going to say, was that the- Masters in- How do you study for basketball?

Masters in business associations. Business associations. Yeah, I was going to say, was that the... Masters in... How do you study for basketball? Masters in business associations. Yeah. You're getting a Masters in business associations. Smart. Amazing. Qualification is a... Master of Bachelor of Arts. Master of Business Administration.

Oh, shit. We were actually really close. We were so close. Really quite close. Really quite close. A Christmas message. I just want to say a massive thank you to you guys. Listen to the podcast that's got me through chores, tough times, the US election.

That's the second mention in this episode. Julia did say sorry. She did apologise. Yeah. And more. I don't know how you... No, this is Louise. Yeah, but he's saying Julia before has apologised on behalf of America.

Oh, yes, yes, yes. I beg your pardon. And Louise is in New Zealand. I'm apologising now for that to Americans. Sometimes you're so dumb. Actually, sometimes I'm so thick. That was such a waste of money sending me to private school.

I'm thick. Yeah. And then more money to undo it at acting school. Yeah. God. I don't know how you lot continue to keep coming up with entertaining content, but you nail it every day.

Oh, thank you. Hopefully Hayley can read out these compliments because I know Vaughan's going to skip this entire message he would have had if he'd read it. Yeah. My partner and I had our seven-year anniversary this year. Oh, gosh. I'm planning on proposing next year after I graduate from my studies.

Oh, wow. He is hoping she says yes. Oh, my God. Well, to be honest, she's a lesbian, and if you've been together seven years and you're not married, I assume she thinks it's not going to happen. Yeah. Yeah, because lesbians go at light speed, don't they?

Oh, my God, seven years. Yeah. Yeah, get it done. Of course she'll say yes. We've been dating for seven moons. It's time we, you know. Of course, seven moons is actually four weeks in straight. Yeah, in straight.

Yeah, yeah, that's right. In the hetero world, yeah. No, seven moons would be seven months. Because I was going for like the moon the lunar cycle. Not where I live. Really? Yeah. I've got different moons than you. Do lesbians have a different moon? Yeah, no, lesbians have different moons.

Do I have a slow moon? You've only got one which is embarrassing. Oh my god, I've only got one big white moon. Boring. Lesbians have a purple moon. My moon changes day to day. Really? Rainbow moon.

Naughtiest moment of the year. I can't reveal it because it impacts people I know. Sorry, but let's just say I uncovered a big family secret on ancestry.com. I was going to say, well, yeah, because we talked about that. We did a phone-in topic on that at some stage. Jay, like what did you learn from a DNA test? And some of those stories were wild. Dad's not dad or there's another one of you and oh my god dad was somebody else's dad yeah dad be dad and uh anything extra a bit of a plug but i worked

for the charity wingspan trust not the bird one the counseling one okay i didn't know there was a counseling one i know about the wingspan burn one For a few years in the 1970s, the Mr Asia syndicate made millions. Heroin creates its own market. It acts like a form of play. Until jealousy, betrayal and murder brought it all crashing down. Clark would have threatened him. Go and kill him. If you don't, I'm going to kill you and your wife and your son.

This is Mr Asia, A Forgotten History. All episodes now available on iHeartRadio, Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. The bird wings bang is where they fall out of the sky because their wings fall off. That's right. And they paper mache new ones onto the birds. Paper mache, yeah.

So that's not to be confused with that one. We're going to try to break the world record for consecutive rugby passes next year. We're aiming to do it with women, rugby players, netball players, anybody who can throw a ball and catch a ball, so definitely not me, to celebrate International Women's Day. Wow. Well, definitely not Vaughan.

I've seen you throw a rugby ball. I'm terrible at ball throwing. No, it's terrible. You're terrible. You're better at hockey. Yeah. You'd be good for a hockey one. Yeah.

We bought our dogs this dog toy that's like an American football shaped thing and I hurt myself throwing it. Oh. Just that thing where you're doing so you haven't done something for ages and then you do it like 80 times in a day and the next day you're like, oh, that's not good. I feel like that when I run. I'll run and I'll be like, how do I do that?

Yeah. How do people do that for hours and hours and hours consecutively and then do it again? Now for those counselling issues, that's counselling. As someone who has clocked therapy in one go, Vaughan, you should go and support that.

Just let people know, don't worry, go to counselling. You can get it in one. Yeah, get it in one. Whereas I'm going week after week after week after week and it's just,

we're still, we're just really scratched the surface. On the next podcast special Mason, Michaela and Sarah get shoutouts.