ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Christmas Cocktail Special - 2nd January 2025

Episode Date: January 1, 2025

On Today's Christmas Cocktail Special; Hayley opens up about a career we never knew she had...See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

For a few years, in the 1970s, the Mr Asia syndicate made millions. Heroin creates its own market. It acts like a form of play. Until jealousy, betrayal and murder brought it all crashing down. Then he just pulled out a gun, shot her in the back of the head, and then said to Wayne, you're going to help me bury her. This is Mr Asia, A Forgotten History. All episodes now available on iHeartRadio, Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts.

Sledgeforn and Hayley's Christmas Cocktail Special. Welcome to our Christmas Cocktail Special. Our big pod and the live show is back on the 20th of January. If. If. You should have said if. No, stop doing this. Look, I know Vaughn always hates coming back from a holiday, but he's got a mortgage to pay. It's management. I've actually got you here today on our

unlucky 13th episode of this sort of holiday Christmas cocktail special. I was hoping Big Hearted James would be here because he works in HR to do this sort of legally because I know in our industry a lot of people do this incorrectly and end up facing years of legal action.

But we're done. You know that when we talk off air it's recording the whole time. It turns out the microphones are live the whole time. And everything we've said to each other and what we thought was the privacy of the trio has been heard.

It's really not. Every accent, every thing we've said. Every inappropriate thing said. Becca is versus a podcast shout out on this episode. She's 33. She's from Rangiora. And she says the same as Hayley.

Nope, I'm from Wellington. Yeah, Hayley loves to pretend she's from Wellington, but she was actually. My soul was born in Wellington. Like Hayley, she's left Rangiora, and she is currently in Banff in Canada. Oh, lovely. And she's been there for nine years now.

Okay. What a winter wonderland she will be experiencing. A delicious white Christmas. Sleigh bells ring. Shout out to you guys for another fun year of listening. I often listen while out walking or biking to work and probably look like a maniac. Also,

I've been catching up on pods that I missed way back in the day and Vaughn will say something along the lines of, man, 2020 will be a great year for dot, dot, dot. And I'm like, you poor innocent fool.

You've got no idea what's about to happen. Wait, so Vaughn jinxed us all. Yeah. Interesting. I think I jinxed us. Vaughn invented COVID. I actually liked it. I know I'm in the

minority, but I actually liked it. Do you love what it's done to the economy and how that's impacted your mortgage? Good one, Vaughn. How much do you like it now? When it initially impacted my mortgage, I loved it because those 2.7% interest rates were yum, yum, yum.

Also, shout out to my sister Tess who lives in Christchurch. She'll be here with my mum for Christmas in Friesen, Canada. Cute. Side note, she sent me a video of you guys at the live show where you called me the fourth member of the show. I apologise for not contributing a lot this year as the fourth member, but I have been very, very busy. It has been noted you're a lack of effort.

We discuss that all the time. Yeah. Going to Europe for a European vacation was the nicest thing that happened to me this year. Funny, she went to Europe for a European vacation. I've been going to Asia for a European vacation Was the nicest thing that happened to me this year Funny she went to Europe for a European vacation I've been going to Asia for my European vacation Oh you've done it all wrong If you want a European experience You've got to go to Europe

I did say to a lot of people you don't look Swiss Yeah It was weird Didn't go down well They're like this is Vietnam bro Have a wonderful Christmas and summer holidays. This is exactly how they sounded to you. This is Vietnam, bro.

This is Vietnam, bro. I may have been going to central North Island for my Asian trip for my European vacation. You've done it all wrong. I'm so terrible at travelling. Aaron is next. He's a 42-year-old living in Manchester. Oh, no, from Manchester, currently living in Cologne in Germany. Oh, wow.

Oh, my God, Cologne. The home of Cologne. He would have appreciated our Manchester, or your Manchester accent in previous. Or I, I. I podcasts. I, I. I'm eating a cracker, so I can do it. Oh, right, so that's the point.

A long-time listener, first-time form filler. Hit it, Shannon. Lovely. Welcome. Thank you all For the audio entertainment For the past 10 years Your podcast is the first thing I listen to in the morning

And the last thing I listen to at night I can't wait to hear you Let loose on the Christmas podcast special I hope the orphans Make an appearance Well as we have mentioned It's a possibility

They are dead Maybe I don't know what I saw And now that I'm being questioned By police I'm like Maybe I didn't see it I don't know what I saw Her case Her testimony I'm being questioned by police, I'm like, maybe I didn't see it. I don't know what I saw.

Her testimony's full of holes. I don't know. Yeah, I don't know. Was that a ghost? I just heard a little bit of a whisper of a ghost. Those children. Fuck off. Just fuck off. Grumpy Mr. Fletcher.

Nicest thing that happened this year when the German government decided not to take my wife and me to court after I accidentally wrote the wrong start date on a form for the job centre or the Federal Employment Agency. That always sounds so angry, don't they? It was a relief, however, it cost us 700 euros,

approximately 1250 New Zealand dollars, and lawyers faced to get the situation solved. The German government does not fuck around when it comes to money, or previously, anything. The mass extermination of a race. Not fucking around. I can imagine him not fucking around. Invading other countries and killing them. Not fucking around.

Yeah. Anything extra? The podcast keeps me going. Oh, it truly keeps on giving. While others have come and gone, yours has been around so long, it's part of my daily routine. Oh, that's nice.

It's lovely. Just like brushing your teeth. Yeah. You guys have mentioned several times that if you weren't doing radio, you'd have no clue what you'd be doing. I'm thankful every day that you guys don't have any transferable skills. Because this is all we can do. That's nice.

Thank you very much, Aaron, there in Cologne, Germany, the home of the Cologne. A lot of German cities have things named after what were invented there. You think your hamburgers, your frankfurters, your berlins. What's a berlin? You know what a berlin is. No. Describe it to me in great detail.

It's a mechanism where it's weighted so that the thing pulls down and the spring needs to go up. The berlin mechanism. No. It's a classic mechanism. It's a mechanism where it's weighted so that the thing pulls down and the spring needs to go up. You know, the Berlin mechanism. No. It's a classic mechanism. It's crazy. Did you mention his naughtiest moment of the year? Absolutely rinsing the unlimited iStock account

from my previous employer for over a year. I didn't know that. What? What is an iStock account? iStock images. Like stock images? Yeah, but you log on so you get, and he would have been working by the sounds of it

for somebody who had an unlimited account. But like what's he like posting an image on Instagram of some guy in a lab? Yeah. Or a woman laughing, sniffing salad. Selling them. Maybe. I listened to a podcast,

you know that Economy of Everyday Things podcast that I listen to? Yeah. About stock images. And this guy who got onto it early made bank. Right. But he's like, then everybody else got into it and I had to be smart about like what words.

So then like he used the example of like Donald Trump going for president again. He knew it was going to be a lot about immigrants. So we had to take photos, stock imagery of what papers and places around the world would use for immigrants. Right. But when you do a photo shoot that turns into a stock image, do you know that that's what that's for?

That's what he said. There's been legal ramifications of people who go in for a stock image, get their photo taken as just a smiley, happy fellow. Yeah, because that's woman-smelling wind and that looks like me. Remember? Is that not you? Dude, that is not me. Yeah, woman-smelling wind. You looks like me. Remember? That's right. Is that not you? Dude, that is not me. Yeah, woman-smelling wind.

You're a stock image. That is not me. Isn't it insane how much that is my face? If you Google, fuck, it really blows my mind that that's not me. The eyebrows and everything. Yeah, the eyebrows, the flick on the nose, the perfect skin. Does she have a beauty mark? The extended sideburns.

Does she have a freckle? Does she have a mark from where her brother smashed her with a booty mark? The extended sideburns. Does she have a freckle? Does she have a mark from where her brother smashed her with a golf club? Doesn't have a freckle and doesn't have a scar across her face from when her brother hit her in the face with a golf club unintentionally at age three. But she's got the thinning hairline. She's got everything. Woman-smelling wind. John Oliver last week, tonight, did a thing on stock images like a year or two ago.

Right. And there was that one guy that I think went in and just signed up to be a model wearing a white or a green screen or a blue screen t-shirt and then ended up being the model on make your own t-shirt websites with like the filthiest, almost racist or like craziest things and he's like, I just got paid like, I don't know, a couple of hundred dollars for this job and now he's the face of, you know, every t-shirt imaginable.

One guy on this podcast was like that. He went in and had his photo taken and just got picked up as like the picture perfect man for pretty much every gay medication. Oh, right. Every prep, like anything, antivirals, all of the stuff, herpes, anything, gonorrhea, and he's just

like, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. He worked out per advertising campaign he'd been in, he got paid something like $12 per campaign by the time. To be the face of gonorrhea. Yeah. And the guy was like, I don't know how, because most of them have a shelf life. People start to look different in different decades.

But this guy had it taken in like the late 90s and there was something timeless about his face. Wow. And he was ethnically ambiguous. And so he like ticked a whole lot of boxes. He could go anywhere in the world. Did he look slightly upset he had gonorrhea? No, because he was like, ambiguous and so he like ticked a whole lot of boxes he could go anywhere in the world just like did he look yeah did he look slightly upset he had gonorrhea

or like slightly happy nah because he was like it's gone now because of this oh because of the medication there's no shame in getting gonorrhea it's very easy to get rid of

yeah yeah and that man's face said that people will be like I recognise you from somewhere yeah imagine being about to have sex with that guy you take him home from a date

you're like oh yeah it's good yeah yeah how do you recognise he's got gonorrhoea? Because he's got the antibiotics. Oh, so you know he's clean. We don't say clean now, do we?

He's free of gonorrhoea. Gonorrhoea free. Who is the actor that was in Mark Ruffalo. Denzel Washington. Tom Cruise. Adam Driver. The Legend of the Ten Rings. And he was in the Barbie movie the Ten Rings. His name.

And he was in the Barbie movie as well. Hugh Grant. Simu Lee. We would never have guessed that voice. We were so off. Because you didn't wait for anything but clothes. Yeah. This guy was a stock actor, a stock image model before he became like a big name actor.

And now you can go back and like buy, still buy his pictures to use. And he's famous so they'd be worth more. Yeah. And there's nothing he can do about it. Wow, that's amazing. Have you ever sold a product with your face? Like I did an anchor yogurt ad before I got into TV and radio. And I was new mum, and it was when I was the skinniest I've ever been.

And I had triplets in a pram. And I was like, who's fucking buying this? When I was like this skinny little thing. But you were a triplet, so would have been like absolutely milked out. Yeah, I know. That's why you got skinny. Your body couldn't keep up. Yeah, yeah.

So I was really thin and I had tiny little boobies at the time. So I was like, no one's buying this. But I had to run up a hill with my triplets and a pram, get to the top and be like, woof, and then sip some yogurt from a pouch. When you were aging. You were sipping the yogurt. Yeah. It wasn't for the babies.

No, no, the yogurt was for me because I'm powering. Right. Powering motherhood. The babies were sipping the yogurt yeah it wasn't for the babies no no the yogurt was for me because I'm powering right powering motherhood the babies were fed by the by the yogurt from the tiny drained out woman 22 year old tits

when your agent messages you now what kind of ad roles are coming through now none ad roles okay none ad or acting roles yeah right yeah

what would a guru want to find your ad what was it for um mother anchor triplets anchor yeah right yeah what would a Google to find your ad what was it for um mother anchor triplets anchor

yogurt pouches or something like that skinny skinny triplet mum yeah ad skinny hot super hot

super hot hashtag super hot oh my god hottest mum anchor protein anchor protein model model

hot oh my god who was this lady? This was two years ago. You wouldn't have been. No, I think I was like 27. I was just moved to Auckland. Right. 28, 26.

Family, probiotic. No, I can't vouch it. Wafer thin. Wow. So it's kind of hasn't really stood the test of time, has it? That ad campaign. And nobody saved it online. It's crazy.

Anyway. It's weird that people aren't looking for hot mums drinking yoghurt. Out of a bell. Out of a bell. On a hot day. On a hot day. When she's out for a run. Well, the next episode is episode 14,

and we're going to be hearing from Chloe and Samantha. See you then.