ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Christmas Cocktail Special - 31st December 2024

Episode Date: December 30, 2024

On Today's Christmas Cocktail Special; Could a visit from the Christmas Orphans be instore..?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

For a few years in the 1970s, the Mr. Asia syndicate made millions. Heroin creates its own market. It acts like a form of plague. Until jealousy, betrayal and murder brought it all crashing down. Clark would have threatened him. Go and kill him. If you don't, I'm going to kill you and your wife and your son. This is Mr. Asia, A Forgotten History. All episodes now available on iHeartRadio, Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your son. This is Mr. Asia, a forgotten history. All episodes now available on iHeartRadio, Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Sledgeborn and Hayley's Christmas Cocktail Special. Welcome to the Christmas Cocktail Special. The Big Pod and the live show is back on the

20th of January. Today, first up, who have we got for you? Episode 11. Renee. That's what it says at the top of my page. Renee is a 31-year-old lesbian mother from North Canterbury. Kia ora to our lesbian listeners. That sounds like an introduction on Sale of the Century or like a game show.

And tonight on Well of Fortune, we've got Renee, who's a 31-year-old lesbian mother from North Canterbury. Merry Christmas to, she described herself that way. I don't want to get in trouble for describing that. Someone did ask me, oh no, it was Aaron. Aaron asked me, he was like, how do you get away with gay people listening to the show

when you talk about the gay flag being a bit full on and too many lines or we say good morning to our gay listeners or we say, well, that's a bit gay or something. I was like, they love it. We've got a lot of lesbian listeners, a lot of gay listeners. Yeah. And I do think that the pride flag's a bit full on. But we would say, well, that's a bit gay or something. I was like, they love it. We've got a lot of lesbian listeners, a lot of gay listeners. Yeah.

And I do think that the pride flag's a bit full on. But we would say that. And I said it should just be white with black writing saying gay. We would say that's a bit gay positive. No, gay people are way better than straight people. Yeah, yeah. Just to clarify. Factually.

Merry Christmas to Fletch, Fawn and Hayley. Just wanted to raise a moderate glass to you guys for keeping us laughing out later in the a.m. Any time of the day, thanks for listening on the go through the iHeartRadio app KPI. Beautiful. Thank you. Cheers to another great year for being the number one station

for lesbians, South Africans and Sri Lankans. Thanks for keeping it real and keeping it moderately unfiltered. Cheers. Highlight of the nicest thing that happened this year was booked our first family holiday and counting down to heading across the ditch with our three-year-old to have Christmas with our family in Brisbane. Breezy.

Breezy. That'll be stinking hot. That'll be hot. It'll be stinking hot that time of year. It's going to be a hot one. Anything extra? Thanks for making the morning brighter with the wild stories, laughs, and all the moderation fun we didn't know we needed.

Here's to another year. Merry Christmas and bring on the new year. Yeah. Bring we needed. Here's to another year. Merry Christmas and bring on the new year. Yeah, bring it on. From us to you, Renee. Yeah, thank you, Renee. Merry Christmas. Do you reckon she's got a ute? Yeah, Mazda BT50.

She's got a 50. She's got a family. It would need to be a double cab. Yeah, oh, yeah. Ours is, eh? Is that what it is? It's got four doors? Four doors.

Yeah, double cab. You're actually lesbian ready. You are. When I drive around in Aaron's lesbian youth, when I'm in the youth by myself, it's my full lesbian potential. I love it. It's right there.

Yeah, it feels right. Molly is next, a 24-year-old from Wellington, but I'm currently living in Manchester. Manchester. That's where the Coronation Street is. Yeah. We've been there. All right, go down, pub.

That's my Coronation Street accent. Terrible. All right, got a good done, pub. That's my Coronation Street accent. Terrible. All right, Terry, got done, pub. Got done, pub. All right. It's a terrible accent. Yeah. I work in events and marketing and I'm constantly stressed out.

I moved to the UK last year and I finally landed on my feet after surviving my first UK winter. She's about to get back into another one. Yeah. With nothing but a thin Primark puffer jacket and a whole lot of prez. Coming from New Zealand, I thought you would have packed a puffer. A Huffa puffer or a Mac pack or a

Catman do. You can't be doing a Primark puffer. That's the equivalent of a Timu puffer. It's just shredded children and their puffers. And whose puffers? The Primark's so bad that the children don't make the clothes. The clothes are made out of the children. And who's puffers? The Primark's so bad that the children don't make the clothes. They are the clothes.

The clothes are made out of the children. And that's why there's no insulation. They have to keep making clothes until they get too tired to make clothes and then they become the clothes. You stretch them out and wear them. Merry Christmas to all. I wanted to share my appreciation. I've been listening since I was 12.

Which, again, is impossible if she is 24. I know so many expat podcast listeners will relate, but listening to you guys every day makes me feel like I'm at home. That's nice. Still connected to my roots, especially when Hayley talks about Wellington. Because that's where I'm from. This Christmas is another orphan's Christmas

for me. Orphan's Christmas? Wow, that's interesting. They're dead. Don't even start. I do hope the Christmas orphans you all know will accept me into their community so I have someone to celebrate with. Listen, with the orphans, I

thought I saw them dead on the motorway. I thought I did. I drove past and I went, I recognise those two kids. That looks like brother and sister. It was dark. I was driving fast. I don't know. You're not very good at identifying children. I was distracted. I had music playing. You just woke up to random kids and you're like,

Indie August. They're freaking out. And then you take a photo of them and send me the photo and you're like, hey, what are they doing here? And I'm like, those aren't even my children. Those are boys. Those are Samoan boys. Those are big Samoan boys. They might not be 16-year-old Samoan children And they're 16 They might be 16 year old Samoan children

And identifying Other humans I don't know I think the orphans are dead But we don't know Awfully Merry Christmas And thanks to the podcast

Spent a week with my parents This year In Morocco Rode camels in the Sahara During sunset Fun I hadn't seen my parents In over a year

Since I moved to the UK It was the highlight of my year Getting to spend time with them After being apart for so long. Also, mum and dad paid for everything, eh? Oh my god. It rings like that. Both of my parents are retired and so I earn more money than them just

by having a job. And when I went and stayed with them in Italy, yeah, they paid for so much. It's like a default. That is so rude, Hayley. It's like a default thing. And then my mum did my washing. They're beneficiaries. They're super annuitants. No, they're not yet. Not yet. Oh, Hayley. No, it's like a default thing. And then my mum did my washing. They're beneficiaries. They're super annuitants.

Yeah. No, they're not yet. Not yet. Oh, not yet. Not yet. They don't have their gold cards yet. Mum's 65 next year. Oh, right.

Okay. I should be making bank. She said the naughtiest moment of my year, this is Molly, I got back with my ex about five times. Oh, no. Earlier this year I wrote in. Bomb D. We're going to bomb D.

We're going to bomb D on our hands. Is that why? Yeah, that's the only way you go back to an ex. You left for a reason. I wrote in earlier this year and you all Bomb D We've got a Bomb D We've got a Bomb D on our hands Is that why That's the only way you go back to an ex You left for a reason I wrote in earlier this year and you all told me to leave him

Wait we did that It's something we would say We're tearing apart families Do we also say what if he's got a Bomb D It's something we would say Unless he's got a Bomb D

I swear it's over for real this time Okay but what about the Bomb D I've always said plenty of Bomb D's in the sea That's what you always say That's what I've always said plenty of bomb D's in the sea. That's what you always say. That's what I've always said. Especially after World War

II. Yep. They left so many in the ocean. So many bomb D's bobbing around. Time to find a man with a hot accent. Note the Manchester accent isn't hot. No, it's not. As previously illustrated.

Have a look at me D. Yeah? Have a look at me, D. Yeah. Have a look. Have a look at that love. Wrap your love... Wrap your love with that love. Yeah. Don't just look at it.

Hurry up. Hurry up. Football starts in 20. Come on. Get down. Get on it. Foot is on. Go on.

Just want to thank you for the podcast, the stories, and for being a big comfort for the past 12 years. Also, cheers to Princess Diana. Cheers to Princess Diana. To Lady Di. Cheers to Lady Di. Oh, yeah. That's good stuff.

That's the end of this episode. Hannah, Emily, and Matt get shout-outs on the next episode. Ooh.