ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Christmas Cocktail Special - 6th January 2025

Episode Date: January 5, 2025

On Today's Christmas Cocktail Special; Sorry in advance for the pronunciation of this Christmas shout-outerSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

For a few years, in the 1970s, the Mr Asia syndicate made millions. Heroin creates its own market. It acts like a form of play. Until jealousy, betrayal and murder brought it all crashing down. Then he just pulled out a gun, shot her in the back of the head, and then said to Wayne, you're going to help me bury her. This is Mr Asia, A Forgotten History. All episodes now available on iHeartRadio, Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts.

Sledgeborn and Hayley's Christmas Cocktail Special. Welcome to the Christmas Cocktail Special, our big pod and live shows back on the 20th of January. Words weird. Word's weird. Yeah. I think he said that as a loophole there because that month doesn't exist and the show might not next year. So what he's doing is he's just covering all bases. Born is wishing for early retirement and a lotto win.

Yeah, a lotto win. Vivianne has messaged in for a podcast. Vivianne. Sorry, Vivianne. Just Vivianne, I think. Okay. She's 23 and her Christmas message is guys, without the lows in life, you

couldn't appreciate the highs quite as much. Oh, that's beautiful. I like that. I'd just prefer a life full of highs, though. If you could choose. Yeah, but she's right. You need the downs, otherwise you don't know. Appreciate the ups. You can't appreciate the ups. But how good would life be if it was just up, up, up? I think they call

that drug addiction. Yeah. Oh, because you're like chasing the highs. Chasing the highs. More, more, more, more, more, up, up. I think they call that drug addiction. Yeah. Oh, yeah, because you're like chasing the high, chasing the high. More, more, more, more, more, more, more, more. The nicest thing that happened this year, she says, I got into the best relationship I've ever had. Moved from Germany to Australia for my last year of my master's

and I'm now dating a boy from Tasmania. Do you think she is German or she was just living in Germany? I don't know. Interesting. Okay. Yeah, she came from Germany to Australia dating a Tassie boy.

You know it's him because he always spins into the room like a tornado. The whole apartment's fucked. It's just a mess. And you'll eat everything. But she's in love. It's love.

Yeah. She puts up with the mess. Yeah. I'm everything. But she's in love. It's love. Yeah. She puts up with the mess. Yeah. I'm a bit afraid I might have to stay here because everything is so perfect. Doesn't that sound nice? Aww.

How long have they been together for? I just, I don't know. Don't even say it, Hayley. Early days. Naughtiest moment of the year. Just so you enjoy it. I had sex in a public shower

at the beach. Oh! Oh my goodness. At the beach. I have never had sex in a public shower. Neither. He's lost it, eh? He's so bad at it.

He's completely lost it. Yeah. He just can't do it. Remember, less is more. Less is more. Neither. Oh, my gosh, he had sex in a public shower. Yeah.

I've never done that. I can't say I've took that one off either. Same. Better. That was really good. Same. Yeah, same name. Same, yeah, same. that one off either. Better. That was really good. Same. Yeah, same name. Same, yeah, same.

Me too, same. Same. We should play a game where it hasn't flared to have sex. And sex, yeah. It would be quicker to play the game where it has flared to have sex. It would be so easy to be in my bedroom and that's it. Thank you very much. That's the only place you haven't had sex.

But you're not even married. I know. Oh, my God. Thoughts and prayers. Shout out to journaling, because that's still one of the best things I do in my life. Been doing it since 2015. I'm on my 14th journal now. It's been absolutely fantastic to look back on every emotion and thought and highlight and low light I've ever had.

Do you? I get this on my phone all the time. Does your iPhone always say, would you like to journal? Because you went to Mount Wellington today. I went to fucking Bunnings. Yeah. Like, do I want to journal? I was buying a tap.

Today I bought a faucet. Yeah. Really reflecting on what the faucet would bring to my life. Yeah, or I go to the gym and I'll do a strength tap or something and then later on in the day it'll say to me, would you like to journal Vaughan's morning at Burger King? Oh, God. Was it a bab to me would you like to journal Vaughan's morning at Burger King? Oh God! Was it to Babu?

No. I'm like yeah. No, I'll be fine thanks. Remember I tried journaling maybe a few months back. I was journaling every day. That's right, you were. And you wanted to know

if you guys were popping up and everything. A little bit. Because have we come up in therapy yet? No, not yet. See this is the thing. We're not the problem.

I knew it. I fucking knew it. No, we just haven't so many of the good ones for last. We're pulling back the layers this is the thing. We're not the problem. I knew it. I fucking knew it. We're pulling back the layers to reveal the core. And then we will be the onion core. The part that makes you cry when you cut it. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, but I gave up journaling. It's too hard. Too much. It's a lot of

effort. I just want to jump into bed and just, ugh. You were saying the other day that your parents, because you bought them a while ago that book. Story Worth. Yeah. So every, was it every week? Every week they got an email from this company. It's like, tell us your life story. There's different versions of it. And we bought it for, me and my

brother bought it for our parents so they could tell us the story of their life. And you get prompted questions like, what was your favourite teacher at school? Or what was your, something naughty you did as a kid and you get this great book. Did you have sex in a public shower at the beach? Like this? Yeah. Naughty little Vivian.

Vivian. And so I sent it. I got it for my, because as you know, my dad's got Alzheimer's and my mum doesn't. But I was like, both do it. We're going to get you. Yeah. Oh my God, they just didn't do it.

And then I got an email. This was a year ago. I got an email saying like, time's up. And I was like, where the story's at, bros? Mum was like, oh, I didn't bloody do it. You've got to tell your father. Get your father to do it. I was like, where are the stories at, bros? Mum was like, oh, I didn't bloody do it. You've got to tell your father. Get your father to do it. I was like, he didn't do it.

Because I've been heavily advertised as ones where they send you a book and your parents handwrite in the story. And my dad has amazing handwriting and I think he'd do it really well. Do it. Do it, do it, do it. Totally. My parents just won't do it. That's a shame because you paid for it.

I fucking paid for it. Fucking rude. Those bitches. I'm going, do it. Totally. My parents just won't do it. That's a shame because you paid for it. I fucking paid for it. Fucking rude. I know, those bitches. I'm going to fill it out myself. I was making a fake book of their life. But then also they're living in Italy six months of the year, like on the piss and renovating amazing houses. Answer their prompts.

Yeah, they don't need your fucking email. When I was 12. Yeah. At best, because Aaron's parents did it, and it was like advice you'd give your kids as adults. And he read it, and it changed his whole perspective on the world. It was like, this is amazing. And I was like, I need that for my parents.

And they were just like, nah, can't be fucked. Getting pissed in Italy. Love ya. Love that. Yeah, I know. Steph is next for a podcast show. She's a 30-year-old mama. Mama?

Mama? Yep. She's a mama-jama of three who lives off-grid in rural Canterbury. Oh, I would be loving off-the-grid house. I would, yeah. For the end of the world. Yeah. Because it's the end of the world as we know it.

And I feel fine. It's the end. She would. She says, Yeah, good work, Lauren. Really good. To all the public servants who have been made redundant this year, it's a fucking shit show.

And just know your value and the value of your mahi is more than any numbers in any budget. I know. Could ever imagine. It's been a really tough year for some sectors, isn't it? It's been a shit time. That's what they say about Wellington where there are a lot of public servants. Yeah, it's dead. It's fucking dead.

Lucky it's none of the important sectors like educational health. Yeah. Chew laughter and insert laughter. Nicest thing was probably buying an old 1950s Bedford bus to have as another living space on our land. She's an oldie but a goodie. I used to go to school on a 1950s Bedford bus. Did you?

In the 80s. Now, don't paraphrase this next naughtiest moment of the year. Say it as she's written it. Oh my God. Say it as she's written it. Say it as she's written it. Getting fucked over my husband's sawhorse. Hashtag sorry, not sorry.

Now, I have never seen a sawhorse that would make a good sexual brace. They're not comfortable. Aaron built our own sawhorses to be taller. To be fucked over. Because he's a tall man. Because he wants to be fucked over. Perfect for a good fucking. Go, Steph.

That's outrageous, Steph. You've got aftermarriage and you're getting fucked over a sawhorse. Get the kids in the Bedford, shut the door. Bye. And then. I can't wait for next year when we shout out to mum of four. Yeah. Who lives off the grid in rural mid-Canada.

You were conceived on a sawhorse. Yeah. And one of the kids has to live in the Bedford bus because they've run out of bedrooms. Oh, yeah, totally. Sawhorse. My God. Honestly, then she says some really nice stuff. You're the best.

The world's a literal dumpster fire. Steph? Oh, thank you so much, Steph. We feel it too. Gosh. Now, about that saw horse. Fuck over a saw horse. Now, I've never seen a saw horse that doesn't have, like, marks in it,

cut marks, it's off, pain. Do you reckon if you went on your chosen pornography website, because you know I'm a you and you're a hub, would, if you put in saw horse, do you think anyone would think you would come up? I wouldn't put in horse. Oh, yeah, actually no. In any form of the word. I take it back.

I take it back. I wouldn't do it. On the next podcast special, Nadine and Ash get shout-outs. And Alana. And Alana, we've got a formatting issue there. If you look, it says halfway down there's Alana M. Oh, yeah, we do too. Okay, we've missed a line break there.

Are we firing Karwin? Well, that's her first warning. Warning one.