ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Fact of the Day (of the Week!) - Bad Parents Week!

Episode Date: March 4, 2024

On This FOTD(OTW), Vaughan & Hayley guide us through a week of Bad Parenting in the Animal Kingdom!It's time for...See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. On today's Fact of the Day of the Week, Vaughn pulls out his hefty almanac of origins and scours history for the origins of stuff it's time for. Fact of the Day, Day, Day, day, day. Now there was a lot of panic when I said just before that song that this week was Bad Mother Week on Fact of the Day. Yes.

I was met with gasps. Yes, you were. That I was going to be giving hot takes on what I think makes a bad mother. Yeah. You're not touching that. I'm not touching that. It's Nature's Bad Moms. Oh, okay.

Maybe we'll call it Nature's Bad Mum Week. Yeah. Maybe I'll change it to Nature's Bad Parenting. Okay. Because then I just feel like even though we are talking about a different species, it's placing all the blame at the feet of the mother. They do do the heavy lifting. I found one fact last night and then was just like,

okay, I'll Google it, Google, see if there's enough of this. And there was just a plethora of stories about. A plethora. Of poor mothers in nature. I think just in general, we should use the word plethora more. Plethora or plethora? I say plethora.

It's Greek. But also you can do plethora. I think, yeah. Okay. Com-si, com-sa. It's not a tomato, potato. I've got American pronunciation. Okay, there's going to be American and British.

Okay. Well, we're British, so. Plethora. Plethora? Yeah. That's American. Yeah, plethora. British.

Plethora. Plethora. Both are plethora. More than plethora. So we've been hitting plethora. I always say plethora. I said plethora. Plethora.

So if anybody's keeping a count this week, Vaughan won. Hayley zero, Fletch zero. It's not a competition. It is when I'm right. You. A plethora. So if anybody's keeping a count this week, Vaughan won. Hayley zero, Fletch zero. It's not a competition. It is when I'm right. You said before I seen it. You've only started it. No, I done said that. You done it.

I'd seen it. I heard it. So we're talking about bad, bad, bad, bad, bad parents this week for Fact of the Day. And we're going to start with the quokka. Oh, I've had a photo with a quokka. You've had a quokka? You went to the island off west of Australia. Rockness Island. Yeah, if you're

ever in Perth, it's so worth the day trip. It's incredible. You cycle around this little island. They're so cute. They're always noted to be the world's happiest animal, right? Because they always look like they're smiling. They're ridiculous. They're marsupial. Like if I saw those in Countdown, I'd be stoked.

Yeah. Because they're rat-like. They're rat-like. How good would it be if it was giving out free samples of cheese? Hey, you want some cheese? I'd be like, you're damn right, my little man. What have we got here? And they come up to you and, yeah, you get a selfie with them.

They're so cute. Oh, my God. They're so cute. I'm going to find out. I've got a photo with one, Hayley. I'll find it. Yes, please. I'd love to see it.

Yeah, that'd be great, actually. It's a cute little animal. But terrible mother. Oh, Hayley. I'll find it. Please, I'd love to see it. Yeah, that'd be great, actually. It's a cute little animal, but terrible mother. Really? Oh my gosh. So I had to look up what are the natural predators of the quokka. Dingoes and birds of prey introduce cats, dogs, and foxes.

Because they're part of the rat family? No, marsupials. Marsupials, okay. So what else? Wombat, koalas, kangaroos. They're so cute. All the marsupials. Marsupials. Okay. So what else? Wombat. Yeah. Okay. Koalas. Kangaroos. Oh, kangaroos. They're so cute. All the marsupials.

Australia is where you find most of your marsupials. So they used to be numerous out there in Western Australia, but introduced animals wiped them out. And Rottnest is like an island, right? Yes. You're not allowed to, no natural predators on. I mean, there'd be birds of prey and stuff, but I don't believe there's d dingoes on Rottenness Island.

So the quokka, when it's got its little baby in its pouch and it is being chased or threatened by a natural predator, it will eject the baby from the pouch. Well, it just ejects like a button. Like an eject button. And the baby goes, hits the ground. And as most marsupials,

while they're in the pouch, are pretty useless by themselves, it will flail around making weird hissing noises and gather the attention of the predator. Oh my God. So that the mother quokka can get away and the baby quokka gets eaten by the predator. Oh my God, that's a bad mum.

It sacrifices its baby to ensure its own survival. It ejects it and throws it in the firing line. It checks it. Wow. And so it can run away and reproduce another day. They're just like, I'll just get another one. I'll just do another one. Absolutely.

Why? Now, when you think of it, that sounds horrific to a human. If you were being chased by a shark or an alligator or a bear, and you would like, you've got your baby Bjorn and you just undo the straps and keep running. And mum's like, hey, little Timmy. That's the day he goes. But it ensures the survival because if the natural predator

gets the mother, the baby's going to die without the mother anyway. So the baby dies either way. The baby's likely the baby quokka is going to die anyway. Oh, but it's so sweet. These are chappy boys. Up until they get threatened and then they throw their babies out. die anyway. Oh, but it's so sweet. There's a chappy boys. Up until they get threatened

and then they throw their babies out. How far do they eject them? Is it like a big ejection? It's compressed

air. There's compressed air under there. I'm YouTubing quokka throwing baby. Like a

t-shirt cannon at a festival. I'd liken it to a t-shirt cannon shooting a quokka-throwing baby. Like a T-shirt cannon at a festival. I'd liken it to a T-shirt cannon shooting a quokka. I'm trying to get video footage of the quokka. Because this seems right up David Attenborough's, one of those. Absolutely, in his wheelhouse. In his wheelhouse. Surely this has been on a nature docker.

Yeah. Well, I can cite, this was part of a 2005 wildlife research paper called Morality and Survivorship of the Quokka in the Northern Jarrah Forest of Western Australia. So today's fact of the day in the first for Bad Parent Week in Nature Week

here at Fact of the Day is that the Quokka, the cute little smiling marsupial from Rottnest Island in Australia will absolutely eject its baby to use as a decoy if it's being hunted. It's bad parent week at Fact of the Day. Animal kingdom. And the animal kingdom.

Yep. And we've got some examples of some poor parenting from different species. Today, bad dad. Okay. Because yesterday we, bad dad. Okay. Because yesterday we did bad mum. The quokka ejects the baby quokka from the pouch if it's threatened so that the predator goes after the baby and not her.

Absolutely wild fact, that one. Today, the sand goby. This is a type of fish. Yes, Fletch, I very carefully pronounced G-O-B-Y. Goby. Goby. I Googled the pronunciation. Is it a fish?

It said that it was, yes. It's a little fish. It's a little. Oh, it's very little. Little, little fish. Let me tell you about the sand go-bee. Dad. Tomato.

It's name, it's science name. Tomato schistus. You say tomato. I say pomado. So sand go-obi is hanging around. He looks like the attentive dad. Mum lays the eggs. What does this fish look like?

Tiny. It looks like a little cockabilly. You know, like the little fish that you go fishing in the stream. It's a sprat. Yeah, you see them in little swarms. What do they call them? Skulls. Skulls.

Skulls. Skulls. Gaggles. Little tiny ones. Little gaggles of sand gobies. Of sand gobies. So dad hangs around and mum lays the eggs. Yeah.

And he's like, oh, aren't they cute? And she's like, oh, can't wait to raise them with you. Should we paint the room blue or pink? Yeah. I hope these eggs fix our marriage. There's heaps of them. So you might want to go, you don't go all blue or all pink.

It could be stripes. Yeah. Green's always safe. How many bedrooms are you going to need? A lot of bedrooms. Big house, big mortgage. So dad's like, I love being a dad with you.

And she's like, I love you too. And then she's like, I'm going to go for some quiet time. And he's like, that's fine. I love being a dad. I she's like, I'm going to go for some quiet time. And he's like, that's fine. I love being a dad. I'll watch the eggs.

Great. And then when mum leaves, he starts eating them. Dad! No, dad, dad! Dad, not again! Stop eating the babies! Dad! Dad, you were an egg once.

Yeah, well, that's the thing. Apparently, the theory is that he'll eat the biggest ones because the bigger the eggs are of the sand goby, the longer they take to hatch. And he's bored. Oh, I get that. This is like Fletch. I'd be bored too.

Yeah, he's like, okay, I'm hungry. Yeah. And I'm starting to get a little bit, I can feel it, I'm getting a little titchy. Yeah. Yeah, I'm getting a little titchy. Because I do get a lot of hanger. Yeah, that's very high maintenance actually.

I can't leave here until these are all hatched. Yes. But I know that big one's going to take a lot longer hanger. Yeah, that's very high maintenance. I can't leave here until these are all hatched. Yes. But I know that big one's going to take a lot longer to hatch, so I might... Nom nom. Gobble, gone.

And so he'll eat the bigger ones first. It's quite ingenious. But never in front of the female. What's left to babysit? Just a little lease. Far less. Yeah.

Yeah. And he won't do it in front of the females. Wait, so when the mum's back, she's like, oh, God, bloody Dusty had a massive night out with the girls. Yeah. And he's like, well, you know what? It was all good here. And she's like, aren't there three missing? Where's the other ones?

What other ones? Why are you looking so bloody fat and chuffed with yourself? I got Uber Eats. Where's my other eggs? You got a little bit of Uber on your lip there. No, no, no. What's it? It's stuck in your moustache.

You got a little something. Is that? It's mayonnaise. Is it my egg? Yeah. Is it our baby? No. Hey, stop being crazy. We only ever had three eggs. Don't gaslight me, Kevin Hey, stop being crazy.

We only ever had three eggs. Don't gaslight me, Kevin. We've been crazy. You're gaslighting me again, Kevin. Nah, this is what you always say because you're crazy. We've only ever had three, remember? Small, small eggs. We literally talked about how big some of them were.

Nah, that must have been your old boyfriend. Why don't you run back to him? Maybe I will. You're acting all crazy. He don't you run back to him? Maybe I will. You're acting all crazy. He can have you. He'll eat your eggs as well. And then you go back to, yeah, Marcus. Those eggs are all gone too.

He's gobbled up the big ones as well. So today's fact of the day in the bad dad category is the sand goby who when his wife, wife, like they got married. I like it. His wife. His wife. Turns his back. He'll eat their children.

Today's fact of the day. Now, we're in the midst of bad parent week in the animal kingdom. Yes. Now, I have been sent a link from Fawnsmith. He's roused himself from his tickle slumber. On his deathbed. Yeah, to send this link. And today's bad parent

belongs to the house sparrow. Oh yeah. Is the house sparrow just your regular run in the mill? It's just a sparrow. And then you've got your other sparrows, like your proper Flash Hendrix sparrow. you've got your other sparrows, like you know, your proper Flash Hendrix sparrow. You've got your Jack Sparrows. Your top shelf spirits

that they don't give you with the house sparrow. You know, they might be watered down a bit. Kristoff Sparrows. You liked that, didn't you? Because you're a booze hag. You like that. Do you know what? I'm on a budget. I'm just going to have the house sparrow.

No, whatever it is, it's fine. I'll have this nondescript red wine. Just house sparrow for me, not top shelf sparrow. This is your run of the mill house sparrow. Now, what they do, the mum gets cheated on by the husband. So the male, we always call them husband and wife in the animal kingdom. Beautiful ceremony.

Yeah. So the husband goes and he sleeps with other birds. But when the house sparrow female finds this out, she seeks out the nest of the other females that mated with her man

and she kills the resulting chicks. Oh my God. This way. That is very jealous behaviour from the house sparrow. This way, her baby daddy will spend all his time fathering her youngsters and not these other bastards. Men, am I right? I'll say.

Men. So in this article it says Just imagine fighting it Your mum killed your half-brother So that your dad would spend more time with you Yeah That's wild The house sparrow

How do they Do they just peck the eggs or something Or do they push them out? Yeah They just like peck at them And like basically crack them up. And do they ever have fights? Like the mum sparrow comes into the nest.

Well, this is the thing. If all the mums are out doing this, it's survival of the fittest, isn't it? Yeah. Because if dad's sleeping around and he's shagged five sparrows and all those females are going to try to kill each other's eggs. But do they have a goss? Like, do they find out whose nest is whose? Do they just know?

How do they know as well? Like, does he come home smelling of her? You know? She's like, what's that perfume? And he's like, I don't know. They're like, is that Margaret? House Sparrow Margaret? You've been with her.

I recognise her perfume. That's House Sparrow Margaret. And they get to the nest and they can smell the perfume of Margaret. Yeah, and they're like, oh, my God. I recognise her perfume. That's House Sparrow Margaret. And they get to the nest and they can smell the perfume of Margaret. Yeah, and they're like, oh my God, I'm going to destroy all these eggs. I'll kill her unborn children. That is wild.

And then I'll come back and he'll come back and he'll be like, yeah, now it's just you and me till the day we die. So today's fact of the day during Bad Parents of the Animal Kingdom week is that female house sparrows, if cheated on, will go and kill the offspring

of the other female that the man cheated on with. That made sense. That totally made sense. She kills the, she's murderous. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. I am taking over fact of the day. I'm the captain now. In Vaughn's absence? In Vaughan's absence?

In Vaughan's absence. He's just got a throat tickle. Today, it's, well, this week is all bad parents of the animal kingdom week. Yes. And today we are looking at the burying beetle. Now, I just want to see a photo of the burying beetle because I don't have a problem with beetles really. Oh, pretty.

Beetles are always really pretty. It's like a black and red. Oh, no, it's a bit jaggedy for me. It is quite jaggedy. It's a bit jaggedy. But the reason why the burying beetle finds itself on the bad parent list is because how the burying beetle feeds its young is it lives on larvae that they will find in mouse carcasses, right?

So they go and get the larvae, like the maggots and stuff, and then the beetle eats it, eats up all the maggots, and then it goes back to its little burying hole, and it spews it into the mouths of its offspring. However- This is- Have they tried like a HelloFresh plan or something? I don't know.

I mean, go to like the fruit and veg market. Go to the supermarket, you know. Get some McDonald's. Yeah, exactly. It's so much better and yummier.

So they spew the maggot regurgitation into the baby beetle's mouth. Yeah. But there's never enough to go around compared to how much, how many like little baby beetles they give birth to. But there's never enough to go around compared to how much, how many little baby beetles they give birth to. Yeah. So the ones that get the mum's attention first,

they get the food. The cute ones. Cute ones from the mum's mouth. Then the rest of them are like, me now. And the mum's like, nah, I'm out. You're far go. You're far go. Sorry about that.

Then the mum eats them instead and then spews them into the siblings' mouths. What? Okay, I didn't see. I just thought she was just gonna let them starve. No, no, no, she eats them. She eats them. She's like, you're not developing fast enough or you're the weak runt of the litter.

That's right. Not only am I not gonna feed you, you're getting eaten because it's a waste of the litter. That's right. Not only am I not going to feed you, you're getting eaten because it's a waste of food just to let you die. I'll eat you and then I'll feed your siblings. A little bit more. And there's other siblings like, what happened to little Timmy, my brother? This tastes different to the maggots.

Shut up and eat your food. Eat your food or there's no pudding. Who's pudding? It's Sam. You're going to eat Sam and that's the pudding. But you're not getting any if you don't already finish eating. Until you eat to me. Eating to me.

So today's fact of the day is that if you, I'm always bad at the summary, is that the bearing beetle feeds as many of its kids as it can and the ones it can't feed, it eats it and then regurgitates it into the siblings' mouths. I am taking care of the majority, actually, it's turned out, of Fact of the Day this week. And this week it's Bad Parents of the Animal Kingdom. Yeah.

Now, I've got a few, because these are really, they tickle me. So I'm going to read a few of them out because it's the last day. Okay. Are you going to choose one main one, though? Yeah, I'll do the main one. Okay. I wanted to do cuckoos. Oh, yeah.

Cuckoos. They live in clocks. Not traditionally. No, I think you'll find they live in clocks. Right. Okay, so what they do is they trick other cuckoos into raising their own, raising the birds, the babies, so that she can go and enjoy life as a single lady. Oh, okay.

She does this by laying her eggs in the nest of another bird. In the clock? No, no, in the nest, in the trees. It's in the clock, yeah. Okay, well, she goes and lays her eggs in another cuckoo's clock. Clock, yeah. And then she goes off back to her own clock and lives like, oh, the single lady's just Okay, well, she goes and lays her eggs in another cuckoo's clock. Clock, yeah. And then she goes off back to her own clock and lives like, oh, the single lady's just like, ow, she's drinking, she's with friends,

she's doing all sorts, leaving some other poor bird in her clock to raise her offspring. She's got a party clock. Yeah. So because of this, the chick tends to hatch a little bit earlier and grows faster than the other birds. Like the second mum's real kids. Right.

Grows a bit faster and then the other ones are small and then they get kicked out of the nest. So then the new mums only left the adopted big fat cuckoo and her own children get pushed out and die. So that's the cuckoos and the crocs. That's worthless. Okay. Now, harp seals, they spend 12 days after giving birth to their little pups. After that, they abandon them, leaving them on like a little- Sea part.

Stranded on the ice for a month and a half where it loses half of its body weight and starves and then they're finally ready to go into the water and live their own life but about 40% of them die during that time because of orcas. Because they're, well they're hungry and they just die. Right. But the mum's like, I don't care.

But they leave them what, like just there without any food? Yeah, they're just like 12 days, they're like are you alive enough that I any food? Yeah, they're just like 12 days. They're like, are you alive enough that I can leave? Yeah, I've got things to do. And I'll do pandas. We didn't have pandas when Vaughan was here, did we? No.

So they tend to have twins. And all owned by China. All owned by China. If you have them in the zoo, they've got to be loaned to you by China. Yeah, I love seeing the pandas in China. Anyway, so often pandas give birth to twins. Yeah. If they don't, if they've only got one, the mum tends to abandon it because she's like,

it's sort of not really worth the effort. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Like parenting just one. I kind of want a two there. Yeah. Black bears also do the same thing. Really? If they only have one, generally two or want a two there. Yeah. Black bears also do the same thing. Really? If they only have

one, generally two or three at a time. Yep. If they only have one, they're like, I'll just get rid of you and I'll try again. Yeah. Because if I'm going to be a mum and do all this parenting, I should be better to just do it all. Properly, yeah. I'll read one more.

Okay, the black eagle. Okay. Okay, the Black Eagle. Okay. So if siblings fight, the Black Eagle babies hatch, if they fight, the mum just watches the fight and then the best one wins. And then the strongest sibling will kill the other weakest sibling. The mum's like, good for you, man. You should have tried harder to the other one.

Yeah, right. Really good for you. Rootless facts this week. So fascinating. I think the quokka is my favourite, though. Oh, the quokka's great. The mum ejects the quokka baby. Yeah, when a predator's there.

And then it's like, bye. Yeah. Anyway, so today's fact of the days is that there's a lot of bad parents out in the animal kingdom. Fact of the day, day, day, day, day.