ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Great Kiwi Kettle Off!

Episode Date: September 28, 2023

After Boldly talking up her flash new kettle, Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley put their hardware to the test in New Zealand's Inaugural "Great Kiwi Kettle Off!"See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Play ZM's Fletch, Vaughn and Hayley. Treat yourself to McCafe coffee with MyMackersRewards. Hello there, and welcome to the Great Kiwi Kettle Off. Hey look, I love this. You read these messages that I've just got. Okay, so Vaughn has had a very angry message from his wife. Why the F have you taken the kettle? And I replied in capital letters, we're having a kettle race.

And she sent a whole bunch of angry faces. So if you're listening, just chuck a pot on the stove. Yeah, tell her about putting a pot and some water in the pot. That's going to blow her mind. I was going to say tell her to pop over to our house and ask Aaron, but I'll take it to our kettle. No kettles. Okay, so.

No kettles at the house. Hayley had the audacity to come into work yesterday and say, I've got a fast kettle. I've got a bloody nice, bloody expensive fast kettle. And then I was challenged to a kettle off and I accepted. People that have had a cup of tea or coffee at your house, always you allege, say you've got a fast kettle. Yeah.

And even because I'm not a huge kettle user because we've got a coffee machine. Pause for applause. Whenever I boil it, I'm always like, yeah, that's pretty fast. Okay, well it's just a kettle. They're all the same. It's not all the same. They've got an element in them. You press the button. Georgia, on an outside perspective, we've got six kettles on this table.

Which one looks the flashiest? Because you don't know whose kettles who do, Georgia? I do know whose. Oh, you do know whose kettles who. The two I like, I know whose they are. Okay. Well, whose do you like? It's a toss-up between you and Hayley.

Thank you. I've got a nice kettle too. I like Tony Street's Fat Bottom Girl here. Yeah, no, we've got to hand me down. Tony, so let me get this right. Shannon, because our producers have brought in their kettles. Shannon, this is a hand-me-down from one of New Zealand's favourite broadcasters, Tony Street.

Yeah, about... Radio villain, Tony Street. You used to work for Tony Street, but then she hit you, and the company... And then we adopted you as a rescue producer. And you've got a couple of bad habits, but we're being very patient.

All of our producers are rescue, we want everyone to know. We don't shop, we adopt. Maybe about a week into working with her, so this was like

three years ago, she's like, here you are, welcome to Coast and gave me a kettle. I don't even recognise that brand. What is that?

And Morphe Richards. And I've never Googled it, which is weird because when a rich person gives you something, you always Google how expensive it is. And I've never Googled it.

It's $200. Here's your kettle. It's $200. Oh my Lord. Your kettle is $10 more expensive than my was. You know, when you're upgrading

from a $200 kettle, what kind of kettle are you buying? Yeah. Well, I wanted the Dolce & Gabbana Smeg one, which is $1,700. You didn't buy that one. I was told it wasn't allowed. So, because you

said my kettle's so fast, we have all brought in our kettles, and they are sitting on a table with each, exactly one litre has been placed into the kettles. The producers have worked hard on this behind the scenes. My prediction is that we're going to blow that wall. We've got

a surge block, multi-box, and there's no way it's going to be able to handle that draw. Jared's going to come in and hold his finger on the surge button. To stop it clicking off. Is that safe? I think that's approved. That's kosher. Well, they know they did a test and it didn't blow them. It didn't blow

the circuit. Okay, so what we've done, we've got HUL kettles on. They're plugged into the same thing. They have exactly one litre of tap temperature water. Yep. Literally, they got filled up as the tap. We turned the tap on and we let it run until it got to a constant temperature

and then filled them up one litre at a time. Six jugs. We're going to have a kettle off, a kettle race to see whose kettle will boil at the fastest. Now, I want to know, is the boiling where it clicks itself off? Yes. Okay.

And is your flash kettle set up to do that? Because your flash kettle's got temperature controls. Yeah, so it switches off at 100 degrees. And I also have the temperature counts up as it gets hotter. So we'll actually have a running commentary of how hot the water is. I reckon if listeners want to put in a bid or a vote, 9696. We've got Hayley's beautiful, that's the one we're racing against really. The blue. The blue Breville.

We've got Fletcher's white KitchenAid. We've got Vaughan's black Anko. I'm a man of the people. I've got a Kmart Kettle. We've got Shannon'san's Black Anko. I'm a man of the people. I've got a K-Mark Kettle. What can I say? We've got Shannon's Hand Me Down. You didn't know you had a K-Mark Kettle. I learned this morning at quarter to five and I was livid.

We've got Shannon's Hand Me Down. Tony Street. Tony Street. With a brand that I've never seen in my life. Jareed, what are you rocking there? That's a Cambrook. That's a Cambrook. Oh, that's jolly.

Must be nice. Must be nice. And then Carwin's got sort of a cheap looking white joke. Classic Russell Hall. No, no, no. Oh, that's jolly. Must be nice. Must be nice. And then Carwin's got sort of a cheap looking white jug. Classic Russell Hobbs. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Russell Hobbs. If I had to vote for, is it a Russell Hobbs? It's a Russell Hobbs, actually.

I didn't think it was a Russell Hobbs. I want to be clear. This is not my jug. Because I was going to say, out of all the jugs, that's the one I wouldn't leave unattended. Yeah. It's a homemaker. I've never even heard of that.

Okay, so we've got a lot of votes coming in for White Kitchen 8. A lot of people really up in the anko. Up the anko? Man of the people. It's the people's kettle. Someone's saying... I reckon Streadies is Streadies' ex-jug that now belongs to Shannon. I reckon that's

my favourite. Do you know all I want to happen is Hayley's to not be the first. That's the only thing you care about. Dude, people are invested in this. They want us to Instagram live. Someone is winning $500 on the street. Are we able to Instagram live this so people can watch or is that too hard basket?

I can Instagram live on mine. No, because you'll get the followers. Yeah, exactly. Shut it. Where's the FVH one logged in on? Who's phone? Or what's the social media plan here? We should have checked this off here.

Yeah, no, I'm going to make a video. You're going to make a video. Oh, she's making a video. No, she doesn't want you ruining her video. Okay, don't ruin her video. I'm excited. Okay, we're going to come back next, and we're going to race our kettles in the great Kiwi Kettle Off.

Do you know next week who's winning? I reckon we do toast next week. Oh, yeah, man. We'll test our toasters. Great toaster test. See you there, bitch. See you there. Then should we do toasted sandwich week. We'll test our toasters. Great toaster test. See you there. Then should we do toasted sandwich machines? Yeah, boy!

Let's test our appliances! Can't wait for blender week. Play ZM's Fletchford and Hayley. Play ZM. Hello there, and welcome to the Great Kiwi Kettle Off. Well, Hayley came into work and said, I've got a fast kettle. I do have a fast kettle. Well, we're going to test it because we've all brought our kettles in,

producers and all. We've got six kettles racing against each other. This is really, this is triggering me back to Bake Off. Ngā mihi nui, contestants. Welcome to the Great Kiwi Kettle Off. Where today, we're going to find

New Zealand's greatest home kettle. So many people are saying they're electricians or appliance salespeople. They're like, there's no way you're getting away

with this tripping of the power. Yes, we are. Oh, no. So, but what happens if we trip the power? Too much load. We might have to evict some people from the race. Okay?

Producers, producers. Do you think a multi-box can handle three? Well, there's some plugs down here. I reckon we plug around the studio if that's the case. Okay, if that happens. Okay, we'll do a quick rearrange. Now, it is going to take about three minutes, up to three minutes for these kettles to boil.

So I think we are in three, two, one. I'll say three, two, one. Let's all switch these kettles to boil. So I think we are in three, two, one. I'll say three, two, one. Let's all switch the kettles on. Three, two, one. Okay, I heard a beep. It's tripped it. It's tripped it. We've lost power.

We've lost power. We've immediately lost power. We've immediately lost power. Oh, no. Okay, let's do a relocation. Oh, no. Relocation, relocation. We did a test, though.

I reckon leave three plugged in. How many PowerPoints have we ever had in the studio? What did you do on Bake Off when the ovens shat themselves? We added a day to the schedule. Okay, let's add a day to the schedule. We'll be here on Sunday. Okay, there's two plugs over here. Two plugs over there.

I've got a power plug here. The people are invested. They must know. There's two here. Pass me a kettle. Get me a kettle. Okay, so we're actually going to plug into the mains now. So if we drop off air and coast and hits and...

All the stations in the building will lose power. That's on us. No, but there's backup power. There is backup power. Just in advance. Sorry, Mike Hosking, if we lose power. Okay. Now, are weking, if we lose power. Now, are we all plugged in?

We're all plugged in. All right. Three. Who's got blue? Blue's over here. Okay. Okay. Turn the kettles on in three, two, one.

Switch. Are they on? Okay, they're on. They're on. They're on. They're on. Okay. I forgot that nothing was going to happen once they're on. They take a little time.

See, mine makes a little hiss first. What's happening over there? This is yours down here. Your light's on. He makes a little hiss. What's happening over there? We're boiling. It's the anko, baby!

The anko's making some noise! The anko is making a noise. Yeah. I don't know if that's a good thing or not. Keep an eye on them for the switches. I've got my eyes on both switches. Your kettle's not't know if that's a good thing or not. Keep an eye on them for the switches. Well, yeah, it's not going to happen. I've got my eyes on both switches. Your kettle's not that fast.

Yeah. Mine's probably done. Fletcher says... How much? 28 degrees. He's got a degree. Yeah, I've got degrees counting down on my kettle. Flash.

Yeah. B. Yeah, but what if... We've got a couple of hummers over here. We've got a couple of... Yeah, I told you, mine hums. Mine hums, baby. But what if my kettle is diverting power from heating to telling me the temperature?

Yeah, exactly. Suck it. That's what happens. Around the studio. Can you get the mic down to Shannon? Let's just see how the anko is going. Shannon, how's the anko? She's humming.

I'm getting warm. Oh, listen to that. Getting warm down here. Is that what it sounds like at your house every time you put the kettle on? Loud, though. Loud. But it's in the butler's pantry, so I don't hear it. Vaughn, can we get a what's happening over in that corner, Georgia? You've got a glass top on your kettle on. Loud though. But it's in the butler's pantry so I don't hear it. Vaughan, can we get a

what's happening over in that corner, Georgia? You've got a glass top on your kettle here and we are getting some condensation on the top there. Jerry, can we get

a digital readout? 48 degrees. 48 degrees! Just a reminder, boiling temperature is 100. 100 degrees Celsius. We are halfway

through the race. Santa Kitchen. We finally got some action from Carlin's Kettle. Carlin's Kettle! Carlin's Kettle. Carlin's Kettle. Carlin's Kettle. Carlin's Kettle has joined the race. It's plastic fantastic.

I like coming to the race. Wait for the click. Wait for the click. How's that anko sounding? Loud. Loud. Still loud. Could be the camera next to it, though.

Digital update on Fletcher's Kettle. 58. 58. Okay. I tell you what, Streeties is powering. Streeties is making some real noise. I've got my hand over. Now, Georgia, you're overlooking Streeties Kettle, the Hand Me Down,

and the fast alleged blue Breville from Hayley. Yell out as soon as any of those turn off. You've got to keep your eyes on those lights. Streeties is hotter. Streeties is hotter. It's hot on the outside, but maybe the water inside. It could be losing heat through the conductivity. What?

It sounds close. The ANCO is sounding close. Someone texted and saying that ANCOs are loud. Breville's not even putting out any. Has it been put yet? Jared, a temperature readout. 78. 78!

78! It's just turned on. It's just turned on. I'm 78! I told you. I told you. You disqualified. He's out. He's disqualified. He's just turned on. It's just turned on. 78. I told you. What? I told you. You're disqualified.

He's out. He's disqualified. He's out. Disqualified. I told you to check the settings. It came off. It's disqualified. Streeties is coming.

Streeties is. It's getting no movement. You know, on the side there, you've got the little gauge. My kettle's just shed itself. It won't turn on. What have you done to my kettle? That's you. You're out.

Any moment now, we have a winner. You're out of the race. What does it sound like over there? That's you. Any moment now, we have a winner. You're out of the race. What does it sound like over there? It's quiet. It's about to finish. It's about to finish. His ankle is about to click off. What's Breville?

What's Breville doing? Breville's not doing anything. What? What? Breville's getting a little bit of steam coming out the spout. Breville's about to click off. The far Breville's getting some bubbling. Keep an eye on it.

The far kettle is about to pop at any moment. Hayley's kettle or Tony Street's hand-me-down kettle, one of these kettles will be the story. Carlin's is still lukewarm. Bribble! Bribble! Bribble's clacked! Bribble's clacked! Bribble's clacked!

I told you! I told you I got a farb-sack! I told you! Wait, Jared, is mine even tuning back on? Nope. Fletch, we're trying on the plug. Wait, who's in second place? Wait a minute, is the light still on on the back of the Anko? Yep, it is.

Streeties. Streeties is gone. Shannon's in second place. Fletch is dead. They're putting a tent over Fletch's kettle, ladies and gentlemen. We'll just cut away from the camera angle on that. Okay, Shannon, what's happening in your corner with the Cambrook and the Anko? They're silent, but they haven't clicked.

They're silent, but they haven't clicked. Okay. So they're still both got lights on on the back. They're clicked down. Yeah, they're clicked down. No way, have you killed my kettle as well? No, it's on. I can see the light.

Oh, it does have a light on the back there. It's on, sweetie. It's a Kmart kettle. It takes a little bit longer. Yeah. Not that I can speak, because apparently my KitchenAid has shed itself. Okay, you've killed the outlet over here. Your kettle and Carlin's kettle have stopped.

Wait, it's not my kettle. It's the outlet's fault. Bang. Sorry. They just had to do that. It was the kind thing to do. Off to the factory. Are you sure?

I could probably just still plug mine into another outlet and beat you. I've got to tell you, guys, the Cambric and the anko have still not clicked off. No, I reckon... Well, we don't have all day, Horn. I think you've just got to accept a loss here. I think we've killed that... No, your light's on, Horn. Is it?

Oh, sweetie, Horn. It's probably finished. How hot's the water? At the end of the day, guys... It's hot, yeah. At the end of the day, the breville won. She did it. You do have a fast...

Damn it! What? Did I tell you? Can we have a rematch with a new plank for mine? Absolutely not. I won fair and square. It's so hot in here. I feel like I would have beat you.

We've steamed this. We've steamed this room. Good for the pause. That wall socket's gone too. Okay, so we've broken that wall socket as well. Hayley's cheated. What she claimed was the light she could see was a reflection off the... No, but yours

was still bubbling when mine went off, Matt. Mine was bubbling before yours was bubbling. I'm going to call for a rematch here because we don't have the same socket. You've got a socket. Excuse me, New Zealand, can you hear these sore losers? Shannon in second place, can you hear these sore losers right now? Also, I don't know if

we can afford to break any more electrical outlets here at work. Except defeat. We may need some of the electricians that have been listening, warning us against this, to come in and fix this. Breville's number one. Somebody said my zip beat you all by about five seconds. Oh, proof. The 15-year-old zip.

Proof. Oh, another one in the bag. It's a Versace bag as well. If you enjoyed that, give us a rating and a review and be sure to tell your mates. You don't sound sincere there, boy. I'm just reading what's written here.