ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Lil Bitta Pod - 10th June 2024

Episode Date: June 9, 2024

On Today's Lil Bitta Pod; We continue reading the Texts from our "What'd you see in Someone House?" Phoner from today's Big Pod!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Fleshborn and Hayley's Little Bitter Pod Great things are brewing at McCafe The perfect start to every day Welcome to A Little Bit of Pod It's an overflow pod Yeah, it's a little bit of overflow from our phone today on the things you've seen in the house if you're a tradie or someone that goes into other people's houses

Yeah, which you would have heard us set up and talk about in the big pod Oh, and if you haven't, you simply must stop by Oh my god, it's fantastic Simply must go back and listen to that first. So some other things people have seen in other people's houses.

I found a torture limb stretching machine in someone's garage. Oh yeah. Is that where you keep yours? Yeah, I wouldn't bring it into the main house. Was it a room thing really?

People like collect weird shit? Yep. Like it's not, or was it actually used for that? It's a torture limb stretching machine. It might have been a room thing really, isn't it? People like collect weird shit. Yep. Like it's not, or was it actually used for that? It just says a torture, lynchstretching, she might have been in a sex thing. Yeah, might have been. When I was young, I'd often go to jobs with my dad. He did TV antenna installs.

Oh, RIP. Yeah. RIP the day of the TV antenna. I think you read this in the big pod. Did I? Yeah. No, no, I think I said it off air. I think I just told you.

Oh, was it just for privates? That was for us. That was just a personal. Sometimes I'll do that. I'll be like, the ads are on think I just told you. Oh, was that just for privates? That was for us. That was just a press. Sometimes I'll do that. I'll be like, the ads are on, and I just run my own little radio show. Yeah, and we laugh long. And they're the listeners in this radio show. That's cute.

He thinks he's on the radio longer than he is. I think I'm on the radio. That's so funny. I used to go to jobs with my dad doing TV installs. We went to a house, and Dad said, these are lovely ladies, and had absolutely no idea they were lesbians until we went to their bedroom to install a TV antenna, and their adult fun toys were laid out all over the bed.

Dad quickly said, why don't you shoot back out of the car, eh? I'm not going to be long. And just displayed across the bed. That would actually be not a nice idea, though, for lesbians, just have a cabinet next to the, like a long display cabinet. Like a china, like my mum has got a china cabinet. Yes, yeah, but for dildos. Full of her keepsakes and such.

Yeah, my mum doesn't have any dildos in the china cabinet. How do you know what you want if you can't see it? It's out of sight, it's out of mind. If you've got it on display, at all moments you're like, hang on. Actually, I thought I was in the mood for A. I'm actually in the mood for B. With C up my ass. Yeah, or some ABs.

Or babies. That's your anal beads. Oh. Yeah. Okay. Goodness. God, I'm overwhelmed now that she said that. Vanilla Smith.

Just needs a moment. Needs a moment. I've been on the flip side of this situation. I had my property manager come over to do a house inspection. Now, I knew because I'd booked well in advance. However, I'd forgotten while I was wildly hungover, naked on top of my bed. The inspection ended pretty quickly.

Oh, that's a good way to get them out of your house so they don't inspect it. Just to be accidentally new. Oh, my Lord, I wasn't ready. I'm so sorry. I work for an electrician's. A tenant had a noise in the laundry. We turned up nothing in the laundry, but we could hear the noise.

What we found was on the other side of the laundry was somebody's bed and a vibrator had fallen down the side of the bed against the wall and was on. Oh, it was going like against the wall. Do you remember there was that problem last year? Your father-in-law used to live in that apartment building and you can get devices that do this. You set them up and put them on the window kind of frame or the ceiling. And when you go out, you just flick them on, and they go...

And, like, made specifically in China for high-density high-rises if your neighbours, like, upstairs stomp or whatever. Yeah, just to piss them off. Oh, my God, that's so awful. It pisses off everybody around you, but it's really hard to pinpoint who's got it. Yeah. Yeah.

That is awful. But that's, I mean, if you want to do it on the cheap, dildo really hard to pinpoint who's got it. Yeah. Yeah. That is awful. But that's, I mean, if you want to do it on the cheap, dildo against the wall by the sounds of things. Yeah. My friend who was a service repair guy fixed the washing machines and this woman was in the house, which was fine. And he said she came out naked and he just kind of got out of there. Okay.

She was clothed when you arrived and then she takes her clothes off. Maybe it's like a little Voyeuristic or sort of Exposure King or something Test My sister went to pick up Something that she'd bought off

Trade me The wife answered the door She was really upset And she's My sister said I'm here to pick up Whatever I've purchased And she said

My husband's just died And then stepped aside And she saw the old man Dead on the floor behind her Oh my god Holy fuck. She answered the door because she thought it was the emergency services. She'd called the ambulance and everyone was rushing there

but my sister just timed her trade me pick up. Yeah, but can I get the table now? They get here. Because I sort of don't live on this side of town. We're getting closer to rush hour. I'm not going to be able to get it out of here because they're going to sprawl around the place. I don't need you guys to help me move it.

Just point me to where it is. I'll take it out the back door. You've got it out and ready to go, right? Yeah. Wiped, cleaned, folded down if it can be folded down. Oh, it hasn't been cleaned. How long do you think you'll be? It's just that you said it was going to be clean and it hasn't been cleaned.

Okay. Maybe I'll just take $20 off of the cash. I'll take a $20 note back. Back of the cash. And we'll just call it there. I'm so sorry. His spirit won't have gone into this wallet because I'm just thinking that might be $20.

Oh, is this haunted, is it? If it's haunted, I might take $20 more back. We're going to need a $20 haunted discount. Yeah, $20 haunted, $20 dirty. Because I don't need to pay for this to have a blessing. A cleanse, yeah. A full cleanse. I was a property manager.

We've seen dildos, hanging sex swings, weed crops in cupboards with walls removed, shrines to partners or ex-lovers. One person's had the entire lounge had posters of Jennifer Lawrence top to bottom, floor to ceiling. Wow. Big fan of the Hunger Games there by the sounds of things. I'm a nanny, so sometimes I have to go into a parent's room to put a baby to sleep. I've seen sex toys, lube, lingerie, a bucket full of vomit from a hungover dad.

Oh, yeah. Used condoms just flung on the floor. Pretty much anything you wouldn't want someone to see. If you've got someone living in your house or coming in, yeah. Not just grubby. That's grubby. You're a grubby bubby. I used to work for the food delivery company.

One day I was on deliveries and I had to drop it off to a bar as it was a wholesale order. Tried the front and it was locked. Went out the back and it was open. I heard weird noises. And there it was, two little workers getting to it. Two little workers. Yeah. On the back in the storeroom. Absolutely happened to that. So it's at workplaces. Yeah. Back in the storeroom.

Absolutely haven't of that. So it's at workplaces as well. We read the pigs, eh? That was good. That was a good one. That might have been my favorite. Pigs was awful. Yeah.

Yeah. Weirdest thing, not shitting you, was doing a building inspection. Went into the roof space. As I was climbing up, the lady said, oh, don't worry about the purple coffin up there. But as a young fella, I couldn't help but have a little wee look. So it was a full-size purple coffin. Waiting for her. And I was like, I wonder what's in here.

And I went, eee. And opened it. I was like, well, it's not a body. Opened it more. The whips change in sex toys. Yeah. Now, their question is. If you had have listened to sex.life, you'll know That that's a bit of a kink

Because Morgan went to a sex club And there was a coffin there And you can kind of get in You can climb into it But what a pain And the crawl space and the roof Have you ever put anything on the ceiling? What an arsehole

Pain in the arse To get things up and down A little line of full size coffin Way down with all that heavy stuff I think we've got a dominatrix on our hands What's the kink of getting into the coffin? I'm not sure That's claustrophobic Absolutely not I don't think Morgan got into it Because she was like on our hands. What's the kink of getting into the coffin? I'm not sure.

That's claustrophobic. Absolutely not. I don't think Morgan got into it because she was like, oh, it's very tight. Call me old fashioned. Let's just do hand stuff on the couch.

Do you know what I mean? Let's just do, not even to each other, just to ourselves. Within vicinity of each other. Perfect. We don't need to get the coffin all the way down.

Hand stuff on the couch is a-okay. Yes. Was there some sort of pulley winch system to get that coffin back up way down. Hands up on the couch is A-OK. Was there some sort of pulley winch system to get that coffin back up? Yeah, coffins are heavy as fuck. Some people have those nice stairs down from the attic, don't they? The pull-down stairs. Even getting a coffin up, that'd be a nightmare. Oh, no.

Too steep. Gravity's working against you. Absolute nightmare. I'm a painter in Wellington. You could write a bloody book about the stuff we've seen, but the best would be the only fans model doing her job while we did ours

we were in separate rooms obviously did joke and ask if she needed a hand with anything but you could hear her like talking dirty to people through the wall

as we were like quietly painting and then he said I've never seen painters work so quietly yeah just listening what's happening next to her

what a treat for the lads there what a treat for the lads there. What a treat for the lads. Yeah. I was a proper manager. I fully had made them well aware that this inspection was happening at this time on this day. It went around mid-orgie. Oh, wow. Orgie?

That's more than five. In a day. More than four? A threesome's a threesome. A foursome's a foursome. And a fivesome is an orgy. I think five plus is orgy, yeah. Yeah, if you're calling-

Should we get an official rule on it? If you're calling making love with four people present an orgy, no, no, you're trying to make something cooler than you are. Yeah. Are you Googling this on the work Wi-Fi? How many people does it have to be to be an orgy? Whether it's a common occurrence or a special occasion, an orgy is an event not to be missed.

Categorise this group sex between four or more people. That's a foursome. That's a foursome. That's what somebody said. Quora, which is a questions website, what I always say, like mature Reddit, but it's not because what's the minimum number of people required for an orgy? Most people who like group sex, three people is a threesome,

four people is a foursome, and an orgy needs to include five or more people. Yes, agreed. Because also it's an odd number because a foursome would just be a two couples. Also a couple swap. Yeah. You need an odd so that there's sort of wacky activities happening. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Some double things. Right, so six, what

happens in a six person sex? Fletch, we'll turn to you here for your expertise. Is there a pairing off? Is there a pairing off? Waiting for that. I don't know, Vaughan. But then also, what if it's an orgy and there's five people and it automatically kind of goes to a couple and a threesome?

And it's happening in a vicinity. But that's your fear talking and your self-esteem here because you think you're going to be five of four, of five. No, but you're just on the cuck chair. You might be one of the two. Wait, but no, the cuck chair, that's different altogether, isn't it? Well, that's the reason. Someone could just be watching.

Yeah, sometimes watching or kissing. Or they don't count towards tally numbers. Yeah, they count. That's not an orgy. If there's two couples, swinging couples going at it, and the fifth person's just watching, that's not an orgy. What if they're watching, but they're on the bed? That's couple swapping, that's swinging.

Or if they're on the bed stroking an arm or something. Or kissing. Lightly involved. I wouldn't're on the bed stroking an arm or something. Or kissing. Lightly involved. I wouldn't put them as a full... They're still involved. It's like Sim Night Live. There's cast members and part players, you know, and it feels like a part player.

Right, okay. Yeah. So, okay, let's set the rule here. It's going to be five people and they've all got to be involved. Five plus equals orgy. Yeah. Glad that we could have sorted that out. We've just been messaged that we need to do a content warning,

so let's go back. Oh, we'll pop back. Okay, well, this is the end, and we'll see you again at the start, which you already heard at the start, and this is the end. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Welcome to... Welcome to...

Fucking stop being a brat. Welcome to a little bit of pod, the following... I was going to say content He's got cock on the mind Here we go Welcome to a little bit of pod The following podcast contains talk about orgies Orgies

Orgies And is not suitable It was more a numerical, you know It was more At the end of the podcast you you'll have all your answers. What I should say is the following podcast contains orgy logistics. It is not meant for young ears. Yeah.

So if you are young ears or you don't. Sensitive ears. Sensitive ears. Yeah. Maybe you're Vanilla Vaughn. Or if you think an orgy is four plus people, not five plus people. This is not for you. And then when you get to the end of this podcast,

as soon as it ends, rewind it to the start of the podcast. And listen to this again. And then listen to this again, because this was recorded directly at the end of the podcast. It's a bit of time travel. It's wacky. It's M Night Show Malay Malay Night. Yes, this little bit of pot is an overflow podcast.