ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Lil Bitta Pod -10th November, 2025

Episode Date: November 9, 2025

On Today's Lil Bitta Pod; we're chatting about bidets...See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

From the Zedium Podcast Network, it's Fletchforn and Haley's Little Bit of Pod. Welcome to A Little Bit of Pod. Homies, listen, I understand that some people have a real passion for the bidet. Often when you travel overseas or Japan or whatever, people love a bidet. Oh, I remember, no, not a fan. As a bidet, do it yourself. No, that's a budget bidet hose. That's the hose in Southeast Asia.

Because did you see those in Bali? I fucking love them. I love them. I love them. I don't like a cold jet of water on their noose. No. No. No.

It's a no from me. Really? Yesterday I was visiting the house of a stranger. This wasn't a hookup, by the way. This was a professional. Okay. Yeah. And I said,

Mescusi, where's the toilet busting for a slash? That was a sentence I chose to go with. Yeah. And he was like, oh yeah, I'll, I'll, walk you there and then he sort of guided me through the house

right into the toilet and I was like odd and then I saw the toilet and I was like okay one it's ugly

as all hell because it's one of those biday in the toilet things with like a wall panel of buttons and options

I had one of these ish it was an attachment on the toilet in Vietnam at a hotel and it was

it was bougie it could warm the seat This whole toilet. Multi-directional Jets on the anews. Okay, here's my thing. Two, the second thing I clock, there is no toilet paper,

so the bidet is a must use. Right, okay. Now, I only needed to wee. And I tried with all my mind to change that, but it was whee's only, right? Just because you're like, well, I'm here. I may as well try it. So I do my, I sit down, and he sort of says, like,

yeah, this sort of the thing. He's like, push a few buttons and have a bit of a go. And I was like, all right, so he leaves me. And I sit down and I urinate. as I want to do. Out it comes, as per usual. Urination completes, it's time to sort it out. Usually in my home, I would roll a small amount of toilet paper around my hand.

Dab? I dab. I don't wipe. I don't be so rough with her. Dab, dab, dab, dab, dab, dash, dab, flush. And we go. We're good, we're good, we're good. Here I'm like, okay.

So I look at the buttons and I see jets, like, little logo. Okay, yeah. And so I go, that's it. That's what a bidet does. it's going to spritz me in the fanny and that'll be the cleaning bit done. So I push that and then and then warm jets of water

like bullseye my anus. Do you think there are senses? It's got laser locking. Bullseye. Like I couldn't have positioned it better. It's an F-35 jet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was the iron dome.

Boom, like straight into the center of the anus. Warm water. Okay. Now I didn't do anything from the air. anus so this is completely unnecessary at this point do you know what I mean but the anus is getting a bonus claim yeah I couldn't believe the accuracy at which this thing jetted me in the anus

but the fandangos left unwhived I mean at this point I've drip dried you know what I'm kind of like I'm over it and then um so the anus I don't like it wait so are the buttons right behind you because that's on the side wall panel where a toilet roll would normally go you know what I mean side so there's no toilet roll none that is wild So I do that and then I see wind emoji. Yeah.

So I warm breeze the anus. So the anus, despite doing no work, is crystal clay. Now, are we talking a Dyson level? No, no, no. Warm or cold? Like a mall hand dryer. But that's nice, though. It was all soft and light.

It wasn't like, oh! You don't have to be inflated like a fucking balloon. No, you don't. Catches a loose lip. opens the anise and just fills you. You don't want to hire a pull air compressor. No, God, no. No, no, no.

No, so I'm here with my fresh anus, but I've peed. Yep. And so I'd push another button to try to get the vagina. Okay. And it does another one where it sort of runs a stream from front to back. Oh, wait, you're back on the water. I'm back on the waters. Oh, you're back on the woods.

And it's, it has its, it's collected the front wear of wade, but it's also given the anus a secondary claim. So I, now I've cleaned the anus twice. Great, yeah. It's so full on. And then I had to dry it again with another. Did the dryer also do? Yeah, it moved forward because it knew now that that's what I was doing.

So it's almost like a car wash. I was going to say like a BP car wash. Yeah, because the third button had these big flaps.