ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Lil Bitta Pod - 11th August 2024

Episode Date: August 10, 2024

On Today's Lil Bitta Pod; Hayley received a lecture.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Welcome to A Little Bit of Pod. Okay, so yesterday I, and I want to preface this by saying I really respect doctors and their opinions and I know that they 100% have your best interests at heart. Well, and we know doctors, they have a very tough job. They do. Now, I have some medications that I can't just, you know, order a repeat. They want to have a chat with you before you get them.

Okay. And when it's just this and I've got nothing else going on, I always opt for a phone appointment because my doctor's office is nowhere near my house. So I called up, got a phone appointment, three o'clock, we'll see you there. Why didn't you do a Zoom? Because a lot of them will do video. I don't need them to see me, I just want pills.

Okay. It's harder to have that. In fact, seeing her might put them off giving her more pills. Yeah, because they'll be like, oh, what's going on here? Okay. Anyway, so I said, oh, what do you need? And I said, oh, I need this and this and this. And she goes, yeah, yeah, okay.

Asks the standard questions you have to ask when you're getting this kind of meditation. That was all fine. Absolutely fine. And then she was like, we haven't really seen you for a while. Now, you may remember I've actually come off the oral contraceptive pill because I didn't want to go back and see my doctor. Because they do that thing where they weigh you and stuff. I was like, yeah, you're fine. So I was like, you know, I've just been trucking on.

And she's like, oh, there's just a few things we haven't asked you for a number of years, and just, you know, while I've got you on the phone, on this 11-minute consultation that costs $67. Put that aside. Wow. Didn't even touch me. Yeah, but that's why you should just go in.

If you're going to pay the same. I just had nothing else And how much of that 11 minutes was like Actual console What I called for Was done in 3 minutes Right I want this, I want this, I want this But they charge you for the quarter hour anyway

Regardless of how much That's how much is allocated to a It's not permanent That's why you've got on. It's not permanent. Yeah, that's why you've got to ask for some cheap Panadols. Yeah, she was like, anything else. If you're four minutes in and you've got your creams. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So that's when I think she was like, well, while I've got you, we haven't asked you these questions for a number of years, so I might as well. And I was like, off your trot then. Now she goes, we haven't asked you about alcohol for a number of years and i was like oh yeah okay what do you want to know about it i've been drinking heaps of it i got all your answers yeah yeah what do you want my cocktail recipe i'm known for them and uh i was really surprised because she was like oh how uh so you're still drinking and i said yeah yep uh yeah boy and right now you mean right now yeah, boy. And then right now,

you mean right now? Yeah, not right now. And then I said, yes, I am. And she said, Oh,

how much would you say a week? Which is a standard doctor question. Yeah. And I said, well, I said, I'm actually running it in at the moment because, um,

I feel like since COVID and lots of people like this, you know, sometimes a little drinky poo in the afternoon is like snuck its way in. And, and, and I'm also just trying not to drink during the week and saving it for friday saturday and maybe a sunday so i said i'm actually raining it in at the moment she was like well that's always positive so what do you think per week and i was like i can't can't be really getting into it i couldn't work it out some weeks a lot some weeks not so much so i just it was like 10 and 10 to me felt like super low.

10 to me, if I'm being honest with you and our listeners, is a straight up lie. Yeah. Right? Yeah. Then when she said, she goes, 10. I said, yeah, yeah. She goes, is it after raining it in?

I said, yeah. She's like, right. Okay. What was her advice? Where should this number be set? Well low. A week. Like for women, she was like more than four is excessive.

Yeah, what about the boys? I was like, what the hell? And I'm big. Yeah, big boy. I'm a big boy too. Oh my God, I was really shocked. And when she was like, oh, that's too high. I was like, I'm also lying.

Like this? Yeah. So let's go. Let's not dive into the real. was really shocked and when she was like oh that's too high i was like i'm also lying like this and i'm not encouraging binge drinking but i was like tend to me if you had one you know a couple during a couple of nights of the week and then a night out or something and then she was and she was like so you're sort of saving them up for the weekend and i was like well yeah sometimes i'll have a number of drinks put the b word on it but i was like i'll have yeah, sometimes I'll have a number of drinks. A binge of sorts. Don't put the B word on it. But I was like, I'll have some big nights out. It's like a big, busy social life. And she was like, right.

Okay. She was like, well, look, here's the lecture. And off she went for like five minutes basically being like, this is like medically, you're an adult now, she said. You're an adult now. Yeah. And I said, numbers only though, eh? Not having a bar of my jokes. No.

And I said, numbers only. And then she not having a bar of my jokes no and i said numbers only and then she goes um because here's the thing she said next time you're out maybe just think you know do i need to have more drinks and she said because i promise you mate the night doesn't get better the more drinks you have and i said that's not true is it what give me the medical don't tell me how i live oh no give me the medical run now. Was this confronting? Not really. I was more confronted by the idea that that was a lot, I guess. Yeah. Because I know lots of friends that have, like, big social lives.

And on the weekend, on a Friday night, you might have four. On a big Saturday night, you might have five or six. And I was like, that's easier. So you're having no drinks the rest of the time. Anyway, yeah, so I got a lecture. I got a big lecture. No. Yeah, I did.

How much did she drink? Oh, I didn't ask. Is there any... But that's how I felt. In all honesty, I felt like being like, well, come on. But be real. Like, medically, sure, if I was a perfect human being, I wouldn't have any alcohol. Yeah, no.

But how much? What if I have some bread as well? Suck it up. What about some sugar? Put a little bit of Sweetie Treatie in there. You're not asking me about my Sweetie Treaties, are you? Did she ask about Sweetie Treaties? No, she didn't ask about any of that.

Did she ask about Siggy's? No, didn't ask about Siggy's. She didn't ask about Siggy's. I thought this was a list of questions she hadn't asked you about for a while. No, we got caught up on the drinking thing. You used up the rest of your concession. Yeah, yeah. Oh, I also, because I did ask for some lorazepam,

which is like, I've got it on hand because I've got anxiety. And then I said, oh, but I did travel. I said, I gave myself a big fat sleep on the plane. And she was like. Oh, I know. Hayley, even though I know that's not what you do. Do you know what? We had a friendly rapport. and then she lured me into

confessing all of my sins i think it's time for a new doctor i think i think i just have a fresh start yeah yeah yeah yeah you know what you need to ask them are they a fun doctor or a narc yeah but you know what our doctor friends call this pill shopping doctor shopping yeah i think so and they are wise to this. Really? Just finding a doctor that will give you what you want. Yeah. Really? Some, like, old mate doctors or some people that just don't care

who have been burnt to the, you know, ground. Well, the public health system's truly run them out. Yeah. They're just like, uh. Have some Ritalin, have some Lorazepam, have some Zop, Sloppy Zoppy, and all that. No. How's about we get on top of your drinking

and on top of what's making you, yeah. It was so interesting. It was not at all how I expected it to go. See, my expectation was to be the doctor would say something about drinking and I'd say four and he'd say, that's a lot. And I said, I meant that's the time I start. They don't like these jokes so much this is what i was trying i was trying to get it a warm up i'm allowed advice yeah i don't have other vices it's safe to say she's not coming to your next comedy festival show oh god the truth will come out oh god i know for the duration of

my one hour on stage. Anyway. I got those articles popping up every now and then now saying, what drinking does to you in your 40s? And I'm just like, not today. I'm not 40 today. Consider me 35. Consider me 20.