ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Lil Bitta Pod - 11th February 2025

Episode Date: February 10, 2025

On Today's Lil Bitta Pod; It's a spillover episode! What happened when you got the trainee..?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

For a few years, in the 1970s, the Mr Asia syndicate made millions. Heroin creates its own market. It acts like a form of play. Until jealousy, betrayal and murder brought it all crashing down. Then he just pulled out a gun, shot her in the back of the head, and then said to Wayne, you're going to help me bury her. This is Mr Asia, A Forgotten History. All episodes now available on iHeartRadio, Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts.

From the ZM Podcast Network, it's Fletch Vaughan and Hayley's Little Bit of Pod. Welcome to A Little Bit of Pod and today's LBP is an extension of the Big Pod. What was that? Are we LBP? Little Bit of the Big Pod. What was that? Are we LBP? Little Bit of Pod? Little Bit of Pod. Or actually be LBOP. Little Bit of Pod.

It's not because it's Little Bit of Pod in my mind. Little Bit of Pod, yeah. Little Bit of Pod. Like a little bit of pud. Like the Aunty Donna. Yum. LBP QAA Plus. We talked on the show today.

We're that bit in the triangle in the flag. Yeah. We talked today about the trainee Jeez When you were left with a trainee Regardless, it could be medical, it could be, we heard from beauticians I'm so glad to be on the podcast talking about this now I know because

Because the fact that this started, that someone was checking his cervix And rammed their finger up a girl's ass Was too funny to dance around It's wild, like we heard from the court if you haven't listened to the big bit of pod yet you go right now stop now stop this pause and go and listen and then come back okay we'll be here wait here welcome back that somebody swabbed a urethra i know wow good god all right here we go We're gonna get straight into it I had my IUD

Ripped out by a student nurse Oh yeah yeah yeah Who said Sometimes they get a little bit jammed It was embedded in my uterus And they ripped it out And I bled For a long time

Oh fuck They exploded my vein in my hand Putting an IV in When I was giving birth And the vein popped So then that became A whole other thing I had to worry about

While also Oh I just went queasy Yeah I feel a little bit Yeah Okay let's try to find some funny ones. Yeah, can we go light and firm? I've got a student nurse who is a... Imagine if a fledgman to me was reading...

Just faint. I've got a student doctor when I was admitted to hospital believing I might have deep vein thrombosis after a long-haul flight. You've had this? I've had this. You've had this? I've seen other qualified doctors. You are a stroke victim.

I'm a stroke victim. Yeah. Yeah, don't laugh. That's why your face is all funny on one side. That's why on Celebrity Treasure Island next season, he's doing it for the Stroke Foundation. Yeah, wow. He's actually wanted to do that show for years.

And I'm doing it for a different Stroke Foundation. Stroke yourself. Stroke it all day. Stroke it, baby. Oh, Vaughn. Raising money so I can just check it out. We're too good for a little bit of a wank joke? Come on.

Let's move right along. We're classier. I've seen other qualified doctors, but the student doctor was the one who finally diagnosed me. I didn't have deep vein thrombosis. I was 20. You didn't get a stroke. I didn't have deep vein thrombosis. I was 20 weeks pregnant.

Oh. That's a different one, eh? Yeah. My dad was having a heart attack. Two paramedics were dealing with it. One of them had to drive. And the paramedic said, ah, it's just a different one, eh? Yeah. My dad was having a heart attack. Two paramedics were dealing with it. One of them had to drive. And the paramedic said, ah, it's just a little one. We'll let the trainee handle him in the back and I'll drive.

Sorry. I'm just getting a call from the courier. I'll just open the door. Oh, fucking on your own time, please. Thank you. Thank you. What are you having couriered? Now you've got to tell us what's being delivered.

Actually, a lot of cat litter. You do like that cat litter. He does. He gets the special stuff so it doesn't smell. Right. Might we carry on with the podcast? Go ahead. Go ahead.

I was very ill in hospital and an older nurse came in and asked me if I minded, if it was okay, that the trainee nurse gave me a sponge bath. We don't call them that anymore. Do they call them a trainee nurse or a sponge bath? A sponge. We don't call them that anymore. Do they call them a trainee nurse or a sponge bath? A sponge. We don't call them sponges. No, you just really hit the trainee. Trainee.

And I was like, what? And it sounded like something else. Trainee nurse. What turned out to be a very hot young male nurse, and they gave me a full once-over sponge bath. It was so fucking hot. It was the best part of my entire stay in hospital. Him mopping your pits.

Lifting the arm, I'm just going to wash you under here. If you found the male nurse hot, Hayley, and he was like sponging around, would you like press up? I don't know if I would, but involuntarily. I'm trying to wash you, and you're like mounting the sponge. I'm just trying to help you get a better reach. It's dirty in there, it's dirty in there. I'm such a dirty girl. I'm a dirty wash you, and you're like mounting the sponge. I'm just trying to help you get a better reach. It's dirty in there. It's dirty in there.

I'm such a dirty girl. I'm a dirty girl. Wash it. Paul Gray's career is over before it even started. Yeah, thrusting into the sponge. I had a student doing an epidural during labor. Now, that's not something I want a student doing. That's in by the spinal cord.

But do you know what? They've got to learn somehow. Yeah, paralyzing my wife might as well be the way. They didn't do it right so only the right side of my body got numbing and I just could only feel half of my body.

That's like we never stroke. Yeah. I'm a stroke victim. Yeah, you're stroking it too much. Your penis is a real victim of your stroking. Who's the real victim?

Excuse me, I had deep vein thrombosis. A mild, but you know. Extremely mild. Is that what you call it before you're circum victim? Excuse me, I had deep vein thrombosis. Mild, but you know. Extremely mild. Is that what you call it before you're circumcised? Yeah, it's deep vein. It's deep vein

and it's thrombosing. I was in labour with my third baby. She presented with her arm out of my cervix. In the middle, I said, oh, I've never seen this before.

So they go in to check the dilation and they're like shaking hands with the baby. Jesus Christ. Pleased to meet you. Can I show the doctor i said yeah cool have a look the doctor comes and he has a good gander up there the doctor has also never seen this can i show my intern the intern came and had another good gander up then they also put it in a group chat with other midwives

about what discuss what to do now imagine three people have just been up your minge yeah there's an arm poking out and then they're all saying I've never seen this before you're like well fucking deal with it and they're like wait a minute we're gonna hit the whatsapp chat with it. Hey guys guys you gotta see this. Yeah voice note guys I got my hands full here but uh you gotta check out this video. Join video call

yeah look at this ding ding ding ding I had a home birth and the trainee paramedic clamped the cord and then cut outside the clamps and then they whispered

loudly to each other that they were doing it wrong and there was a real panic in their whisper because of course you clamp the cord then cut so it doesn't bleed

yeah yeah clamp clamp cut cut take out the middle bit leave the rest no they did it wrong oh god what a spritz spritz the room Yeah, yeah, yeah. Clamp, clamp, cut, cut, take out the middle bit, leave the rest. No, they did it wrong. Oh, God.

What a spritz. Spritz the room. Because what got us onto this is a woman was getting her dilation checked, her cervix dilation during labor, and the woman put fingers up her bum hole. Poked her body. The exact same thing happened to me. I told my midwife she couldn't find my cervix. My midwife had a look and obviously found it.

I could see the penny drop on the student midwife's face because she'd been sticking her fingers up my ass. Fuck. How do you, I mean. Come on. Come on. It's not like they don't have any holes either. Yeah, they've got holes. You've got the same holes.

I got holes. I got holes. I got holes in different area codes. Area. Area codes. I mean, Ludacris sung literally about the female anatomy. Ludacris knows his holes. Yeah. And there are different area codes.

They are. Wee wee area. Put it in good time. And bumhole. Yeah. Which can also be put it in good time. Up to you you want your house the midwest and the south all right what else have we got here um i had a trainee anesthesiologist trying to put a line in my arm during baby uh during labor even with painful contractions i could feel how much they were fucking it up in

my arm my husband said please stop and go and get someone who can do that first time my wife's got enough to worry about yes good husband i know this i don't get this one i had a trainee oh no no i had a trainee sit in on my iud insertion i thought it said i had a trainee sit in my iud insertion I was told I'd be good at giving birth because I could get so much with a hand up there. Oh my god. Oh, that's not something you say. Oh, look at you, Lucy Goosey. Wow. I trained

the obstetrics during a C-section. Of course, they put the curtain up. I couldn't hear anything, but they did say out loud here, can you hold her bladder? And that immediately made me feel just so sick. Oh my god, what do you mean hold it? It's out. Why is it out? put it back in put it fucking back in yeah maybe just say something like can you hold this yeah like that could be something organ yeah i had my iud ripped out by student nurses it was embedded in my uterus she said she'd pull on three she pulled on one fuck her this isn't a bungee jump bitch we spoke about this when I had the blood test. I got a 3-2-1 countdown.

I don't want a countdown. No, you don't. You need a countdown. You don't want it. No. Just do it. There's so many. My boyfriend had a trainee doctor attempt to put a catheter up his pee hole when he was in hospital.

She couldn't get it in and had to call for help. Best thing was that he'd already realized she was a match on Tinder at the time and thought she was cute. Safe to say he unmatched once the catheter had been suited by the senior nurse. So it was when he wasn't with this woman. It was when he was a single man. Right. He was getting a catheter put up.

He'd match with her on. Getting a catheter in by a hot person you've matched with on Tinder is pretty like... It's not memorable. The sexy sponge bath. It's not sexy. No. I don't want a sponge bath from a hot nurse

yeah or a hot doctor you'd be pushing against a sponge I'd be pushing up against a sponge of course you would be but you're probably

a bit manky and stinky like post surgery stank you've been like sweating do you know what I mean I'm not looking my best um and the

up the pee hole yeah I've never had one but Christ um every time I get a pap smear, I get a trainee. Next time I get one, I'm going to ask to see the notes on my file, because does it say something like,

easy to navigate vagina, or it's weird down there and we don't want to do it? I had a trainee nurse for a pap smear years ago. She couldn't find my cervix, so I ended up with three nurses at the same time, pairing up my hoo-ha, trying to find it. Pairing up my hoo-ha. Couldn't find it is it tucked back

deep yeah hidden somewhere longer yeah maybe it's sort of back on the arch curved back around I had an abnormal smear

so I had to have a colposcopy a colposcopy they asked if I minded if the trainee could watch I said yeah sure and I looked up and he was standing right there

the hottest doctor I've ever seen in my life no my age and I was just like yep there the hottest doctor I've ever seen in my life. No! My age. And I was just like, yep, there it is on a 55-inch television, the interior of my vagina. Jesus. I had what is described as a third-degree tear

during birthing my first baby. The trainee stitched me back up. Once she left, my midwife came in and said she was going to have to remove them and redo them because she had done a real botched job of stitching them up. Well, at least you got it fixed then and there before it had healed. Oh, God. Okay.

I've had enough, actually. Have you? Because I've got a friend who had a ruptured lung, two trainees trying to put in a chest drain, literally read the instructions off the packet right in front of him how he was doing it. No. Despite his suggestions. Otherwise, they put it in the wrong place twice. They just kept sushi-ing him until he pointed out where it should be. I don't want any more.

We were final year vet students at the time. Just shows real doctors can treat more than one species. Because we knew where to put it in from our vet training of doing it on other animals. Oh, yeah, right. Okay, that's enough. There's so many more. Thank you. Thank you very much.

Thank you. Oh, good times. Goodbye.