ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Lil Bitta Pod - 13th August 2024

Episode Date: August 12, 2024

On Today's Lil Bitta Pod; Hayley's getting ink'd up!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Fleshborn and Hayley's Little Bit of Pod Great things are brewing at McCafe The perfect start to every day Welcome to A Little Bit of Pod Well you know last week I was sort of in the middle of wanting to burn my entire life down And part of that is that I am just getting all the tattoos I've ever wanted Yep Just doing it

Because I've given up See I've said it a few times over the last couple of weeks And I'll say it again Not all dreams come true See you're being realistic Not all dreams come true. See, you're being realistic. Not all dreams come true. See, I think we grew up in households where that was very much made clear. Yeah.

Not all dreams come true. Yeah, whereas I was led to believe, have a dream and it shall come true. Oh, that's unrealistic. Yeah, yeah, yeah. My parents led me up a wild path. They led me to a fucking drama school. Yeah. Maniacs.

Anyway, I held off getting visible tattoos for years because I was like, you know, I want to be an actor. I want to be a black canvas. I want to be able to play any character. What if I have to step into a period piece? Oh, yeah, and you can't have like a stamp tattoo. They cover you up, though. If you're good enough, they'll cover them up.

That's what I used to say. I was like, if you're famous enough or good enough, they'll see past them. Whereas's what I used to say. I was like, if you're famous enough or good enough, they'll see past them. Whereas if you're just scraping in. Who did I see the other day? They had arm tattoos. And I was like, oh, Chris Evans, who played Captain America. He's got heaps of tattoos, and they just cover them up whenever he was.

Heaps of female American actresses have lots of tattoos, and they just cover them up. Anyway, so I've decided against it, and I'm getting a new tattoo today. And it's one I've wanted for years and it's of my cat, Rolly. And he's like on this thing and he's yawning but it looks like he's like like screaming.

And I loved it and I'm getting it today. But my issue is around placement because, because, you know, I've been getting, and I've got kind of a collection on my upper,

very upper left thigh. Because you do want to be able to hide it. For me, I don't want to stare at it all day, every day. The arms would have to be like last and really well thought out. Yeah. So I was going to go really upper right thigh. Yeah. But then someone pointed out that having a pussy in your pussy is a little bit forlorn

and maybe it could be misconstrued that he's like, you know? Yeah. And mine has fangs, yeah. So I'm going to have to go a little bit... So where are you going to do? I don't know. I have to go sort of lower down, I guess.

Maybe around the thigh region. But then if I blow out, have another bloody blowout, Jesus Christ, heaven forbid, what if it stretches? You're like the MGM lion down there. Yeah, it'll be all big and stretched out. Yeah, I don't know.

It's got to be away from the genitalia. It's happening, but you still don't know where you're putting it. Yeah. This seems like you're rushing into this. Yeah, like literally can we wrap it up because I've got to go. And you still don't know where it's going to go. You virgins. You get the, it's on a, what do they call it?

Stencil, like a thing. Or you're getting the one where you put a sponge on and it goes through. A temporary tattoo. That's so cute. No, you get it on a thingy, like an ink thingy, and they put it on you before they draw over it. So you can see it. So you can see it.

So you can move it around, try it in a different place in a few different places. I'm either going to do that or neck. Cheek? Yeah or neck. I'm thinking either nice and hidden on my upper thigh or just on the neck. I don't think I would ever get one. I think I'm on a train to tattoo town.

I reckon in a couple of years I'll have hair. I just don't want one. Regardless of what it is. Yeah like nothing. Oh don't you want to get your girls' names? I'm like, no, because I know their names. Yeah. Sade does, doesn't she? Yeah, she's got I and A. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah. That's cute. It looks, upside down, it looks like she's a big fan of AI. Yeah, it does. Oh, yeah, right. I'm like, she's doing that. So when the robots come, because they, of course, all see mirror, she'll be like, see, big fan.

And they'll be like, you're all right, carry on. You can stay yeah but nah nah I've never nah I think I know lots of people that are like that

yeah I sort of don't care do you know what I mean yeah it's fun dreams you should get the next one it should be dreams don't come true

not all dreams come true yeah yeah I might get that no I want to get I genuinely want to get don't take this one I'll die on my left kidney

as a good joke for organ trafficking. When you go to Turkey to get a turkey. My little tits done. When I go get my turkey tits done. They don't take my left kidney. Just to confirm, that's the country she's going to get them done.

She's not getting her tits modelled off turkeys. Speaking of which, because a couple of days ago on the big pod we were talking about your matching bra and underwear set and how you just felt a million dollars. Yeah.

And that you could quite happily be hit by a bus. Yeah. And the medical professionals would love it. Yeah. They would appreciate the fact that you had a matching set. Yes. And I said at the time I was going to message my friend. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

My friend who's a paramedic in London, who was also the one that told you to don't go to Turkey because they'd take your kidney. Yeah, which has inspired my tattoo, don't take this one, I'll die. And I said to her, I said, question, would you be impressed if you cut off a woman's clothing in the ambulance

and she was wearing matching bra and undies? Did you tell him they were red? I didn't say the colour. I just said, we're discussing this on air. Hayley thinks medical professionals are very impressed. And he said, ha, ha, ha, yes, I'd be totally impressed if she's conscious I'd even say so. Oh, he'd say, nice set.

He'd say, nice set. Yeah, great. I don't know if he can say that. Well, he's gay. No gays can say that. Oh, another thing the gays can just get away with. Is he outwardly gay like I'd know at the moment I met him? Oh, maybe not.

No, he might have to just kind of. Fem it up a bit. You know what I mean? You may be, I don't know. Because if I'm thinking that he's a hetero man, he cuts off my clothes and says to me, nice set. What a set.

Wow, what a set on this rig. Or maybe you do the voice that you'd find it acceptable in then. Okay. How lispy does it have to be? I'm going to cancel you preemptively here. I'll just do a little teeth click and that'll say it all. Right. Just that, that's the start of it. Is that just do a little teeth click and that'll say it all. Right. Just that.

That's the start of it. Is that the giveaway? Is it? Is that the giveaway? Yep. Nice set. Not your tits though. Those are gross.

Oh, those are yuck. Oh, well, that's good to know. Yeah. I might start rocking a set more often just to, you know, impress the homosexual doctor community.