ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Lil Bitta Pod - 13th March 2024

Episode Date: March 12, 2024

On Today's Lil Bitta Pod; Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley continue to read out some texts we received during our "What did you steal from a date?" phoner!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Fleshborn and Hayley's Little Bit of Pod Great things are brewing at McCafe The perfect start to every day Welcome to a little bit of pod And it's a little extension on a topic that we did on the show today Keratin bonds? So is it real human extensions? Or are we going synthetic?

Text extensions Oh right Because we finished, it was the last part of the show The what did you steal from a date? Or like a hook up And then as we finished a few more dribbled in. Let's clean up this dribbly

mess. Let's get a towel. Let's get a towel. And well, there's some great stories coming in. So we thought we'd make it today's little bit of pod. Before my ex and I, before my ex, brackets for a reason, close brackets, and I started dating, we used to hang out in his car and he stole my phone.

He denied it for ages and then years later I found it in his house. What? That's wild, eh? What sort of creature were you dating? Yeah, God, there are some creatures, eh? Some absolute creatures. We're talking about what got stolen, what you stole. I stole all of the dirty undies out of her washing as I was sneaking out the morning after.

Now, that one came in during the phone about I didn't feel comfortable reading it out on the broadcast radio. Why did someone admit that? I don't know why they admitted it to us. Isn't that the first step of a serial killer? Stole all the dirty undies out of her washing as I was sneaking out in the morning after. And then that emoji where you're like,

covering your face in embarrassment. So obviously, wildly embarrassed. People sell the used undies. Like, it's a thing. Oh, I would sell them to make a little bit of extra cash,

but I don't get it. It's not great. Would you give her a GST receipt? Yeah, 100%. I'd run it through the books. Because she wants to buy

new undies. Yeah, I'd run it through the books for sure. And then wearing them to the gym gets them sweaty. So technically, that's a business expense.

And you've got undies and a gym membership for free. Yeah. Well, for tax deductibility. Yeah. It just makes sense. My post-gym socks. I'm not a bad guy. I'm not here to defraud anybody,

but I'm just saying if that's what the tax law says, I'll obey it. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. God. Wait, this is the podcast. You can read those ones out. No. I still this is the podcast. You can read those ones out. No.

I still don't want to. Stole a pedometer 25 years ago, not even a cool one. It was just one of those really early pedometers that literally you could stand there and shake your hand. It would count the steps. The walking thing. You used to clip it to your nails or something. Yes, right. I stole a piece of mail so I could find out where I was and to ring a taxi.

I was on Waterloo Road in Lower Hutt, for anyone interested. to ring a taxi. I was on Waterloo Road in Lower Hutt for anyone interested. I love Waterloo Road. Where's Waterloo Road in Lower Hutt? It's right in the hut, basically. It's a train stop as well, eh? Yeah, yeah, Waterloo Station was one of the big hut stations. Which always is so weird. You'd be like, ooh, Waterloo, and you'd be like, ugh.

Waterloo. I'm just going to be the one to do. Yeah. Well, well, well. Waterloo. Waterloo. Well, no, woo. Wa-da-loo. Wa-da-loo. Wa-na-na. Left my partner because she was a bit crazy.

Great way to start a story. Yeah. When I moved back into the house, she moved out. I found out she'd stolen my video camera, a watch, my favorite aftershave, the sheets that I had purchased after we'd broken up. And when I had a video call from my daughter, I could see that she had the sheets on her bed and the aftershave was sitting beside the bed.

Have I ever told this story of my friend who stole the sheets because he had a terrible... No. Okay, I had a friend and it was this, like these student accommodations, you know, in Wellington. The warehouse. That warehouse one, was it called the warehouse? No, this was uh i'm

trying not to incriminate tfena complex by the basin reserve okay it's as much as i'll say and this is a friend of mine and he lived in one of the uh complexes now i used to sleep with someone who lived in those complexes they were very funny like lockwood things right and he lived there and he hooked up with another chick who lived there. And he had had, I think he said something like a crate of double browns. Like beers. Those things will rip right through you. He woke up in the morning and he had shat all through the bed.

Was she in it? Yeah. And he was in her bed. So he had gone to her apartment in the complex, shadowed through the bed, woke up and was like, oh, fuck, like, this is terrible. And so he, like, gently was pulling off the sheets and scraping them from under her.

She was asleep still. Well done. Buggled them up, ran nude through the complex, put them in the bin and went back to his own thing and was just like, oh, well, there we go. So he technically stole the sheets from her as well. Oh my god, so she wakes up, sheets are gone,

man is gone, lingering smell of shit that I'm guessing if it was double brown shit seeped through the sheets into the mattress. I don't know, I don't know. Do we know this person? I don't want you to say his name. I don't think so. What do they do now?

Are they like a respectable person? They are a father. With a family? They're a father, yep. They're a father. If he ever hears this, he'll be laughing his butt off. But yeah, so he technically stole sheets from a one-night stand. Wow.

But not sheets he wanted to keep. I mean, you'd be stoked if someone did that, to be honest. Got rid of the admin. Just did what you were going to have to do anyway. I attended a costume party in town and I was dressed as Xena Warrior Princess. Would have been the middle of winter. I hooked up with this random guy.

Had a one night stand. And had the best night ever. Oh, okay. I'm imagining it now. I feel like, yeah, hot, hot. He had a hot tub. You can guess the rest. I wake up in the morning and I don't even know where I am.

I don't remember how I got there. And of course, I have just my Xena Warrior Princess costume, which is spread around the room. I was freezing. Look around the room, find a jumper, grab the jumper, put on my Xena Warrior Princess outfit, go into the lounge, into the kitchen, trying to look for like a letter or something with the address on it.

I find the address, call a cab, leave with the jumper on, over the Xena Princess costume. Turns out it was a very expensive jumper. People would say to me, oh, my God, I love the address, call a cab, leave with the jumper on over the Xena princess costume. Turns out it was a very expensive jumper. People would say to me, oh, my God, I love your jumper and tell me how much they cost. Oh, is that Comme des Garcons? So I couriered it back to them at the address that I had. Oh, that's nice. But I thought, that's good stuff.

Good on you, Xena. That's Xena warrior princess for you, though. Yeah. My friends and I stole this nice smelling moisturizer from a house party that we thought was from Mecca, but we later found out it was from Kmart. Oh, ain't nothing wrong with a Kmart bloody dupe. Yeah. My friends and I stole this nice smelling moisturizer from a house party that we thought was from Mecca, but we later found out it was from Kmart. Oh. Ain't nothing wrong with a Kmart bloody dupe. Yeah.

My son stole a girl's WWE replica wrestling belt. Oh, okay. Now, this doesn't say, this just says my son. This doesn't say that the son was 18 to 24 at the time or seven. Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I'm imagining both scenarios and equally pretty funny. Yeah.

I ended up at a party in a penthouse and there were ladies of the night there and a lot of nose beers. Okay. Which I did not partake in. Yeah.

I woke up the next morning with a 50 euro note that I had shoved in my bra. I'd exchanged that at the bank and I ended up with 75 New Zealand dollars.

Oh, that's good. That's good, eh? That's good. Did you give the $50 note a bit of a rinse before you took it to the bank? I would have. Yeah. I would have. Got up one morning after seeing this chick.

She'd opened the fridge the night before, and I'd seen she had heaps of sushi in there. Getting up early for work. You shouldn't refrigerate sushi. I was quite hungry. Ended up stealing quite a bit of sushi. But when I was emptying the sushi, I saw behind the sushi, there was some KFC in the fridge. So I walked into the house, and I tell you what, it just got the better of me. I turned back, went in, and took the KFC as well.

Best breakfast. She rung and abused the shit out of me when she got up. Fair enough. She was probably like, you know what I need? Sushi and KFC. And some chicken. I stole my neighbor's two tractors. This isn't a hook-up story.

This is just stealing off your neighbours. Transporting them on a car trailer. We had tractor races. The cops found me. I had to give them back. You just stole, I'm guessing, tens of thousands of dollars worth of heavy equipment. That's not a hook-up steal at all. No.

Anyway, it happens. No tease. No tease. You're all very naughty, but thanks for sharing.