ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Lil Bitta Pod - 13th November 2024

Episode Date: November 12, 2024

On Today's Lil Bitta Pod; Hayley's on the bread diet. (Sorry Fletch, I left it in - Producer Carwen xoxo)See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Fletch One and Hayley's Little Bitter Pod. Treat yourself to McCafe coffee with my Macca's rewards. You have to bring it in, dipshit. Do I? I don't know anything about this. You say, welcome to Fletch One and Hayley's Little Bitter Pod. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. I thought you were talking about...

Leave this in, actually. Leave it in. Looking at me like I've got to start. No, don't leave the sausage. And then any time we go to start, he tells us off. I start, I start. No, don't leave the making the sausage bit in. It always went on live radio when you're like,

and you look at me and I'm like, what? This has got nothing to do with me. Yeah. Okay. Welcome to a little bit of pod. Leave it to me. I'm going to finish reading my pod. Yeah, great.

Leave it all in. It's war. Absolutely not. Your Trump's coming all in. It's war. Leave it all in. Absolutely not. Your Trump's coming along there. Yeah, yeah. It's really good. Leave it all in.

Nah, lost it. Oh, that's terrible. Welcome to a little bit of pod. So I have my annual anal investigation on Thursday. Whose anus is this? My anus. The AAI. I'm having my AAI. That's actually an insurance company, isn't it?

It's AMI. No, it's AIG. I'm pretty sure there's an AAI. It's not AAI. It's AIG. I've never heard of AAI in my life. Yeah, AAI insurance. AA insurance.

No, AAI insurance. AMI. AA insurance is AAI. Yeah, but what about, yeah, see, AAI. No, it's not AAI insurance. It's AA insurance. It's sometimes shortened to A-A-I. But you never call AA insurance AAI.

No, you never do. Who are you insured with? AA. AAI. AAI. No, you don't. That's what I call them, AAI. Anyway, this has nothing to do with insurance,

other than the fact that insurance will be covering this. Okay. Thank God, because it's like $3,500. Is it? Yeah. To be honest, if I was a... It's not Jose. A rectalologist, I'd be more than...

Gastroenterologist? Gastroenterologist, sure. I'd be more than honored to take a look for free. No. I think that's just crossing a little line. I found it. He gives you a walk-in, and he's like, it's going to be free. And you're like, but they said it was good.

Love, it's free. It is free, my love. No, I've got my annual colonoscopy that I have to get because I've got serrated polyps syndrome, which means I grow things quickly. But anyway, the thing I look forward to about two of these, three things I'm going to say I'm looking forward to. I know what one of them is because it's me too. Propofol. On the day when you get the procedure, you get to take delicious Propofol.

You talk a bunch of crazy shit. You have the best sleep of your life. Let's say Michael Jackson had one thing right. Sleeping on Propofol. Okay. He micro-dosed Propofol and had the most delicious sleeps until he died. Because some would say he took too much. He took it too far.

Yeah. So I get a nice Proppofol sleep on the day. The second thing is I've had a really upset stomach for a few days and I'm looking forward to a flush. Yeah. Nice. Do you know what I mean? It's almost a palate cleanse of sorts just to empty it all out and start afresh.

Digression, if I may, at this point, two points in. You drink a lot of soda water, don't you? No. Oh, like- Fizzy water. Like soda water. Fizz water. Yeah, soda water No. Oh, like fizzy water. Like soda water. Fizz water. Yeah, soda water.

Yeah, but not fizzy drink. Sparkling water. Sparkling water. Sparkling water. I said soda water. Still a sparkler. I didn't say you drink heaps of soda, you fat toothless cuck. I didn't say that, did I?

I said you drink lots of soda. So you bubble water and then you drink the other water. Does it make you like a little while later you might like have a big poo? No. Okay, no. I just drank, I've noticed in the last couple of weeks I've been in the mood for it, so I'll drink like 1.5 litres of water, but it's bubbly. Okay, well that's your issue.

And then I'm like, holy shit, after dinner, boom, one huge poo. And that's not usually my poo time. No. No, yeah, well I don't drink that much. Okay, sorry, I do digress. But I just, yeah, well I don't drink that much. No, that doesn't have that effect. But I just, on the clean out thing. On the clean out thing. And for those that don't know the colonoscopy, there's a prep involved.

You guys have both done it. There's a prep, yeah, and the second part of the prep is you take all these awful laxatives and then you spend basically 12 hours shitting out not only poops but like emptying your whole colon. Oh wow. So that it's clear enough to get the camera in there and see what's up but the first part of the prep is the part that i've started today which is the low fiber diet and it is like some people hate it but the things you're allowed on

you're allowed like boiled chicken or steamed fish which i don't fuck around with because who can be bothered but you're allowed white bread, like plain white bread, a little bit of butter and honey. And so all I'm going to eat today, the whole day, and I bought a big, nice. Sourdough? No, no, no, no. It has to be like plain, non-fermented, just straight white bread. I just bought a big super soft.

I got a super soft bread. Is that a Ploughman's? Because you're a big Ploughman's money, aren't you? I don't know if I still am, but also I can't have ploughman's. It's got too much goodness in it. Like the beautiful Canterbury seeds and rye that they harvest. So because the seeds stay in your- Stick in your track for too long.

They plant in your thing and you grow wheat. And no bubble gum. You can't swallow chewing gum. No bubble gum. No spices. No kiwi fruits. No kiwi fruits. Why no kiwi? Because of't swallow chewing gum. No bubble gum. No spices. No kiwi fruits. Why no kiwi?

Because of the seeds. Oh my God, I would hate this. So today I get to eat jelly, sweet jelly. Tomorrow I get to eat some jelly as well because tomorrow I eat no food, but I can have jelly and water. But today I just, I get to eat honey toast. Top three jelly flavours. Lime.

Raspberry. Boysenberry Or the Blackcurrant Yeah Okay we agree I think we should all agree on that Yeah But then I mentioned it before

I said oh I'm so hungry Because I haven't eaten this morning And then I was like I get to go home And have some honey toast And mum was like Honey toast What about chocolate

No chocolate Dairy You can't have that much dairy You can have a little bit of butter But why It goes straight through you Doesn't it Yeah I know

No No Anyway I'm actually looking forward to it. Honey toast all day. How good. My grandad lived on that. Honey toast. Every morning, honey toast. Wow. Every morning. Loved it. Yeah, I'm really looking forward to it. Honey toast. I know I bought a bit. I might have some rice

later. And I was like, should I put honey on rice? Yeah. Honey on rice. Sweet sticky rice. Salt, honey and rice. You could do a rice pudding. Yeah. Like a honey rice rice. Yeah. Honey on rice. It's almost like a sweet sticky rice. Salt, honey and rice. You could do a rice pudding. Yeah. Like a honey rice pudding. Yeah.

But then there's dairy in that, isn't there, if you make it? Yeah, I know. Yeah. Jelly rice. Anyway, it's a good day. It's the good bit before my anus burns. Thanks for that. To shreds.

Thanks for that. From the expulsion. Mental picture.