ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Lil Bitta Pod -13th November, 2025

Episode Date: November 12, 2025

On Today's Lil Bitta Pod; Vaughan shares a grim story!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

From the Zedium Podcast Network, it's Fletchforn and Haley's Little Bit of Pod. Welcome to a little bit of pod. Now, I've got two dogs. I call them large dogs. Some of the other day said they're medium dogs. No, they're large. Great Danes are extra large. Yeah.

Dogs come in five sizes. No, a medium would be a corgi. Yeah, large, medium, small and extra small. And extra small. Yeah, yeah, yeah, your tiny little. Silly little dogs. Silly little things. So I take them for a walk

I put their harness on them And I take them for a walk Because they pull and I go And I pull back I'll take you to pull and people are like Oh they don't like that And I'm like I don't fucking like it later I don't like when they pull on me

Yeah so I was taking them for a walk the other day And I've got a lovely little Flat street by me that I go up and down Up and up and down and each there and back's a kilometre So it's kind of like What flat street? Because at the end of your street's more of a hill That goes up that other way

Well, so you come down past my place. I'm there on the left. On the left. Oh, so you're continuing forward. And I go up that hill and then I just turn right. It's a beautiful little lane actually. That's nice because I often don't go continue on that road. You should.

Because I'd stop at yours and I'd probably do a Yui. Then I'd pop back out on the main. It makes it all that walking makes up for your morning muffin and cappuccino, doesn't it? Oh, it burns it off. But I use equal in my cappuccino. Yes, that's an artificial sweetness. Zero calories. But it tastes just like sugar.

It gives me brain lesions, and the doctor has said I need to pull back on that. I'm cancer riddled. Yeah, but calorie free, calorie free. Kinney. So I'm walking the dogs up and down, up and down, up and down. I turn around, I take them back. And there's some other dogs that we walk past and they always bark. And I'm like, come on the side of the road.

And like this, Richie, my golden retriever. Named after Richie McCall, former All-Blank Captain legend. Not by me. Yeah. I don't want to go on about what a hero. I am to the animals, but I rescued him. You rescued Richard, didn't you? I rescued him.

Much like I rescued my cat from that breeder. Nope, that's not the same. Not how it works. That's buying. You bought your cat. It was a release fee born and it's got, look, it's hostage negotiation. I don't negotiate with host. I negotiate with cat terrorists.

Right. Yeah, cat breeder terrorists, absolutely. Alperda. It didn't really work as well as I had a hoaxing when I said it out loud. Alperta. Persis. No. No.

Better in the head than it was out loud. Don't want to say any other ones Oh, Pirmass Didn't want to say that one Why not? PAMAS No, I think all three of those sucks Well, they're a terror organisation

No, they all suck, sorry None of them were really that great Yeah And like this, Richie has a Mousies Instead of what? Nazis Oh

Okay None of these are working, are they? No, I mean None of them are rolling off the time None of a sit down brainstorm with a whiteboard, I think. What about Miao pot.

I was thinking of a pole pot. Yeah, meow pot. Poul pot. Pouce of Stalin? Pohpot? Mows of Stalin. I like that one. That's good. Yeah.

Yeah. Okay, let's brainstorm that a bit more. Anyway, I mean... Poor pot. No, that doesn't... It's not the same. It's not obvious enough that you're still talking about pole pot. Yeah.

I mean, I rescued a cat. Let's move on. Yeah. Okay, so he didn't. Within a second, like that. Richie's got a mouthful of rotting dead roadkill rabbit. Oh, fuck. Oh, yeah.

I know, and if he eats it. This is why I can't do dogs, they just eat the mankiest things. Oh, just the macchia's things. Including their own, like, stuff, you know what I'm I'm? If he, if he eats it, there's going to be a violent shit later. Oh, yeah. And that's your problem now.

Which is going to be horrible. But so I immediately grab his mouth and I hold it shut. Because if he can't go, um, then he can't get it in. And it was so, like, even thinking back on it now, makes me feel a little bit sick. And I apologize if people are listening while they're eating, interesting, some sort of food. fuck it was so gross I had to push him to the ground and then stand on it with my foot

and try to pry a dog's jaws just don't open no that's it but you've got to put a finger in the bottom I know but I'm like what's going to be gross sticking my finger up his ass to get him to release or just pulling this thing out don't look at me like that chin and if a dog bites and latches on this is the way to get out of it you put a finger in the box

if it attacks you You've never heard that. There is no way that's true. It is. It is. And that's just, that's just, Calvin knows it.

That's just a rule across the board if you're bitten by a person on the street. If you stick a finger up your ass, they will release. Or if this dog is absolutely violent, you just with the legs like that. Oh yeah, you're rip it apart like a wish bun.

Yeah, and that will absolutely stop the dog because it's the only thing. I didn't fucking tell you guys I hit a dog. What if it liked it? What? Did I not tell you I ran over a dog? Wait, you were in minus, you were in plus points for rescue.

a dog now you're mine is back down so oh my god the kids were in the car it was just fucking chaos from start to end this will be trauma because remember when i was in the car when i was a small child of bev hit the ducks oh my she's like a current swerve and just ran over a whole row of dust they do say it's safer to just run a moment it is it is it is it is i'll quickly wrap up the roadkill story i had to pull it out of his mouth with my hand and it just fell to bits in my hand i saw it was slow cook Yeah, I'm fucking on asphalt in 34 degree heat because it was hot. But a barbecue sauce, so, pull apart, rabbit, lemon.

A little bit of, ugh, fuck, to smell of it. Anyway, I had to wash my hands. You know when you just wash your hands for 20 minutes? Because that's just the life you're living now. So, anyway, that's it. When you're the toilet paper misses, eh, and you're just like, Oh, God. You do two, at least two watches.

You feel so guilty. You're like, I'm a filthy boy. I know, and you're like, I'm a filthy boy. And then you're like, how damn spot out I say. It happens to everybody. Damn this cafe to a lot. paper, it's so thin. Fucking one ply, got me again.

Oh, God, it happens to everybody. It happens to everybody. This is normal. It's just a normal part of being an adult. And then you scrape it so the soap gets gloached under your fingernails. Get that bit out. Like a doctor and ER. That's what it was like.

I can smell it. I can smell it. I can smell it. That's where it hit. That was the finger it was on. Still smells like poo. Everyone's got to know that poo in my fingers. Pooh.

I reckon that hurts for everyone. Every single. person on this place. And then hours later, hours later, you're like, oh my God, is that me? Is that me? Oh my God, it is. Have I smelled like shit this whole day?

No one else can smell it. No one knows that you're just so riddled with guilty, though. I say, I fucking think shit. Wait, how did you hit a dog? Okay, so this is the other store. I'm driving down the road, and there's this dog running down the side of the road, and I'm watching it, and I'm like, it's running on the footpath. I can't see anybody around, and I'm watching it.

It goes behind a bin, 90 degrees straight onto the road. I, like, swerve and slam on the brakes. Donk. You hear the donk and hit the front rolls. And the girls are like, ah, immediately burst into tears. Everybody's losing their mind. The dog rolls on the road and then gets up, looks at me,

and boosts it off the road. So it's not dead, but like scared and it was kind of lumping about it. And I was like, fuck, because I was not having a good day. Yeah. And so I parked on the side of the road. That's rare for you. I know in 2012. You're just a sunny boy.

Sonny boy He's a sunny boy But let me just check my calendar Because yeah 2025 I think we all vouched Was the year we were going to thrive Ha ha I put it into survive

About March Yeah Right Put a fat year we Just crank it right down into low Drive high Survive Survive

So I get out of the car I'm like fuck And Indy My oldest daughter comes with me We're like right Try to find the dog And this lady's running up the road I was like

Was that your dog and she said, no, but I just saw it run past, and it's been running all over the road for, like, the last 20 minutes. Oh, so it's crazy. Okay. And I'm just like, ah, shit. And then this person comes out, and I was like, is this your dog? And I described it. And they were like, yes.

And I was like, I'm so sorry, I hit your dog when it bolted that across the road. And they're like, that's fine. Oh, that's good. They were so not blaming you. They were like, that's fine. But it's not your fault. And then they said, well, we don't really have a fence. Oh, my God.

And I was just like, yeah. And I wanted to at that time be like, I've got kids crying in the car because you don't have a fucking fence and your dog's a runner. You've actually fucked up in a serious accident. Because someone could have like completely swerved into another car. A hundred percent. There's cars parked on the side of the road. Yeah, that's crazy.

It was Binday. So it was like already, but it was like that thing where I'm driving in the road. And it could have been like, identify the hazards. I would have been like, well, it's Binday. Yeah, Binday. And he's everywhere. I don't think the driving test person's like, it's Binday. That's not a hazard.

And then they'll be like, what about Binday? I'd be like, do you want a subsector bin day hazards? Because, of course, we've got bins going on the road. I'll have to dodge those kids running out from behind the bins. And it's recycling fortnight as well, so there's double bins. I went a bit over the top in my driving test. I said there's a plane's flying up there. Oh, you don't know, they've seen all the hazard.

There's a cloud. There's a tree. The tree could fall at any minute. That plane could chem trail. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. And cause sort of like mass hysteria. Yeah.

Because of government mind control. That's right. That's right. I mean, how hazardous do you want me to get?