ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Lil Bitta Pod - 14th August 2023

Episode Date: August 13, 2023

On Today's Lil Bitta Pod; Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley received an international package and discovered a crime has been committed...See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Fletchbourne and Hayley's Little Bit of Pod. Treat yourself to McCafe coffee with my Macca's rewards. Welcome to A Little Bit of Pod. Now look, apologies to your ears for today's podcast. We're a bit sick. We're a bit sick. Me least of all, and I think mine is coming right.

Got my voice back. Yours is more of a hard Wellington weekend than a sickness, whereas I'm clogged up. You're clogged up. I don't have the cough, though, like Vaughn. Vaughn, you took a week off and it didn't really do anything. You know what? I think I've been... Someone's put a curse on me.

I think someone's put a hex on me. Yeah, right. I used to dabble in witchcraft, but I swear I would not do that to you. If you've dabbled in witchcraft, would you be able to identify a hex, perhaps? Do you need any hex? You did just spit on yourself, yeah. What was definitely not reassuring, just becoming sick myself, was the amount of people messaging in today saying, oh yeah, I've had mine for months or weeks with this whatever's going around.

Yeah, I had a dental appointment in 50 minutes time. My dentist emailed being like, you guys sound like shit, don't come in. You know, it's COVID days. I think that was just her thoughts on the show. The show itself. Rather than we don't sound sick and shit. Like she just thinks the show's shit house.

Don't show your face around here. I listened a little bit last week when I wasn't here, guys. Fuck, this is a terrible show. Is it? It's a terrible show. We actually had a good week. We actually had a lot of fun. In fact, guys. Fuck, this is a terrible show. Is it? It's a terrible show. We actually had a good week. We actually had a lot of fun. In fact, we did say Born Who quite a bit, didn't we?

Yeah, we kept going, Born Who, Born Who. Born Who, Born Who. That perhaps is you weren't standing back enough from it. Right. We were too close. I went back and listened to some of our other podcasts. It's fucking terrible. I don't know why people listen to me.

Oh, why? We shit. Yeah, we're shit. We're terrible. Why do people do awards and stuff? It's weird. Anyway, are we shit? Yeah, we're shit. We're terrible. Why do people keep putting awards and stuff? It's weird. Anyway, while you're away. So in the times of we're shit, how bad must everybody else be?

Is what I'm saying. We're the best of the shittest. Is that what you're saying? We're the best of the shittest. Don't. Oh, my God. Boy, do that off air. We're the least shit.

People don't want to hear that. Now, we have received a package. Now, this is exciting stuff. This is from Mel, who is so lovely. And I've met her a couple of times now, hung out with her once or twice. And she is currently in Germany. And she messaged me being like, let me know when my package arrives. And I was like, she was like, sent it like a month ago.

Okay. And I was like, it's probably lost in the post. And now it's arrived. It's here. It's here. It's here, baby. I always appreciate this because it is not cheap anywhere in the world to send a package. It's so lovely of you to do so.

Thank you. 15 euros. Oh, no, that's the value. That's the value of what she sent. Oh, yeah. Okay. We don't need to go into how much she spent. I mean, maybe we do because it'll make other people want to spend money.

Yeah, go on. Sending us. This is the docket from a customs declaration from Zold Headhut Zirkundlugrund. The papers? Show me your papers! Okay, we'll see what's in it. It's in a Skechers box. She's recently purchased some Skechers street shoes

with air-cooled memory foam from Los Angeles. Size 9. That sounds comfortable, doesn't it? Yeah, it does. Skechers is very airy. Vaughan, doesn't it? Yeah, it does. It's very airy. Lauren, have a bit of professionalism, please. It's a podcast. You can cough into the thing. And turn your mic off and cough in the

background. Thank you. Hello! Long time listener, first time mailer. Oh, where's the bell? By the way, we had to press the bell last week while you were away and we had to find it. We had to run all the way over. And I did this. Oh, you held that. That's not going to work. Yeah, God.

There we go. Fantastic. I don't want to be in charge of Bell. Just two hours from landing in Germany, I listened to you mention Dickman's. So, of course, first thing I did was go to the shops. I added a few other favorites for you and was particularly delighted when you then mentioned curry ketchup.

Yeah, it's famous. I love it so much. I bring back the 875ml bottles of it. This is the slightly spicier one. You should have got family over there. Love your work. Good luck for the rest of winter. You will, by the sounds of this, Mel.

Go away, fucking native. Maybe it's Mel that did the curse. Good luck. That could be less of a good luck with the rest of winter, more of a good luck with the rest of winter. Good luck with what I left you with. She's put the hex on. You've been cursed.

Fun fact, Dickman's formerly had a very inappropriate name. Did they? I can't even read out the German name for it because it's very obvious what it will be. It's the N word. Is it? With cuss on the end, which... And now it's just called Schoko-kuss,

which stands for chocolate kiss. Right. Now, these are like, for New Zealanders, no, these are like Mellow Puffs, but like twice the height. Yes. Yeah. And a darker coating by the looks. Floddenbos, what do you call them? We've got a few goodies in here. What are those?

These are Prince and Throes Choco, so these are chocolate Prince rolls. Those are like super wines, but with chocolate in the middle. Sandwiched together. Oh, my God. I'll have one of those. Should we try the German biscuits as we go? Yes.

Yeah, we should, yeah. I want to try this curry sauce. Somebody has eaten one of our Dickmans. Someone's been into our Dick. Somebody's been into our box And into our dick Mons Those are our dickmans Yes, they're our dickmans I'm counting that box

That's been sitting out there all weekend Someone's gone into it Someone's made the effort To email us All the way from Germany Not email us Send us this There's a

There's a There's a There's a There's a There's a There's a There's a There's a

There's a There's a There's a There's a There's a There's a There's a There's a

There's a There's a There's a There's a There's a There's a There's a There's a

There's a There's a There's a There's a There's a There's a There's a There's a

There's a There's a There's a There's a There's a There's a There's a There's a

There's a There's a There's a There's a There's a There's a There's a There's a

There's a There's a There's a There's a There's a There's a There's a There's a

There's a There's a There's a There's a There's a There's a There's a There's a There's a There's a There's a There's a good. They smell like salty. Do you want some? They smell salty. Yeah, those are nice.

Oh my god, thank you, Mel. I'd love to try a dick. Mints? Oh my god, yeah, it's like wine. It's like super wines. It's like super wines. It's almost cracker. That's what I mean by salty. You could put a cheese on it

or you could put a chocolate on it. It's crackery. Kind of like a s'mores but without the marshmallow. Yeah, yeah. This is a super dickman's. I cannot believe someone's opened this box.

Someone has literally, I mean, they're a bit mangled from the... Yeah, marshmallow doesn't travel across the world well. No.

Oh, you can tell there's a heatwave in Europe. Look how smashed those, she's sent some beautiful chocolates. Oh my God. Oh my God. And those... Oh, my God, that is heavy on the marshmallow.

I don't like marshmallow. I'll give it a go, though. Super Dickmans. Haribo's from Tisha. Super Dickmans. Haribo lollies. Now, I will warn anybody who's about to punish a bag of Haribo's, that is a diuretic effect.

I love Haribo's. Please don't eat with your mouth full. Talk with your mouth full. Eat. Yeah, that's right. You've got the marshmallows all over your lips and nose. How are you supposed to eat? It is like it's a really sticky marshmallow, isn't it?

I can't get it off my lips. These dicks are in a hell of a situation, a hell of a predicament. These dicks have absolutely exploded, haven't they? These have been smashed. Wow, so it's like a ricey wafer on the bottom. The Germans love a cracker as a biscuit paste, don't they? They really do. Oh, yeah, that's nice.

It is nice. Oh, my God, Mel, thank you so much. Absolute treaty. Very kind of you, Mel. Very kind of you. Wait, wait. Fourth. of you. Wait, wait. Fourth. Curry sauce.

We must start an investigation to see who's eaten our dickman. Yeah, our super dickman. Because that isn't quite ballsy to open up somebody else's dickman. Oh, apparently with these marshmallow things, the dickmans, it's a party game to eat them with no hands. Oh, okay. Should I try? Yep.

So just off the table. What do you mean? Like this. I see. It's sort of a sexual in nature. Yeah, you really hoovered that up, didn't you? Like when you play that game Suck Blow where you had to pass the card around, but it was just, you know, a little bit of a-

Oopsie, kissies. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, they've dropped the card, but you're too close, you couldn't see, and then you're smooching, and then you're like, why was I the one guy that had to sit in between two other guys? And then he's got his dickmans out. Yeah, you're playing this at a family reunion, which is a 40-year-old. Yuck.

He's a stepbrother. And then you get stuck in the washing machine. Yeah, you get stuck in the washing machine. How? Get me out of the washing machine. He's like, I'm just going to use my dickmins. And you're like, that doesn't feel like a dickmins.

What's a dickmins? That's not a marshmallow at all. Can we try this curry sauce? While we're here. How are we going to try the curry sauce? Just on our fingers. I don't want to try the curry sauce. I do.

I know what that tastes like. I don't. I've never had it. Oh, it smells real good. Finger? Just a tiny bit, please. A tiny bit please a tiny bit on your brother's finger oh yeah that's nice it's almost like a sweet chili texture actually god i do apologize for all of the coughing well that's so yum thank you so much thank you so much for the package it's really appreciated oh. Oh my God, that sauce rules.

You've got a lot of marshmallow on your nose and your lip. Yeah, I can't get rid of it. It's too sticky. Yeah, she's a mess. She's a shambles. I'm a shambles. Look at you. Thanks again, Mal.