ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Lil Bitta Pod - 14th February 2024

Episode Date: February 13, 2024

On Today's Lil Bitta Pod; Morgan Penn joins us for some Final Rankings!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Fleshborn and Hayley's Little Bit of Pod Great things are brewing at McCafe The perfect start to every day Welcome to A Little Bit of Pod And a special It's the final rankings A special final rankings naughty edition We normally do this on air live

We did a Little Bit of Pod last week About Drake's leaked picture And I mentioned that And I thought we were in A secret safe spot here I mentioned my wife Was probably going to have a wink Oh no did you hear it?

No So many people messaged her They were like Hope you enjoyed your wink to Drake And she's like What are you talking about? Podcast listeners This is a special

Sacred Oh so much But she listened And she wasn't upset about it She said it was very funny Oh my gosh Podcast listeners, this is a special sacred podcast. But she listened and she wasn't upset about it. She said it was very funny. Oh my gosh. Only because she had... She probably had a way to have a drink. Friend Morgan Penn's here. The podcast is out now.

The podcast is out now. Find it wherever you're listening to this. Sex, not life. Morgan, what did you think of Drake's schlong? Wait, can I just... Maybe we should say a little warning. Okay. This is likely to be an adult-y one. can I just maybe we should say a little warning okay this is likely

this is likely to be an adulty one yeah for a little bit of pod because it's a final ranking sex positions yeah now I go back to my question

what did you think of Drake's schlong why did you think Drake's schlong you were in the gaggle chat we sent it in there oh did you yeah

you and Sade dilly dallyed on the wang and it got deleted oh why who deleted it it was someone put it on X wang and it got deleted. Oh, why? Who deleted it? Someone put it on X on Twitter and then Twitter obviously got a few complaints and so they deleted it. But you'll be able to find it. But if it's in there, why didn't someone screenshot it?

No, because obviously he was wangling it back and forward. It was a whole movement thing. So you might get to see the pictures, but you really miss out on it. It looked like a slinky. Kind of looked like that. You'd be able to walk it down the stairs. You know when you do the tricep rope at the it. It looked like a slinky. Kind of looked like that walk down the stairs. You know when you do like the tricep rope at the gym it looked

like that. With the big knobby thing at the end. That's actually a really great way of just this isn't your first time describing a penis is it?

That's very well articulated. No because I sent that video of celebrities working out and the Drake one was him holding that like tricep rope like this.

Looks like it. Yeah. Oh my god. I don't know if I'm hungry or hungry it was like a bouncy it was so spongy and bouncy

which gave me the impression it wasn't at full mast oh my god but yeah but it was also in the mirror and it was almost

like an under angle so that adds you know that adds an inch but it was a lot anyway so final rankings

do you know how this works no we rank things Usually foods Okay Or fun things We usually try to We have a robust discussion

And then we'll kind of Announce our top three Like for example If it's biscuits I'd go squiggles Squiggles number one Shoe sprees number two You'd have to convince

The others though Because you might like That's the thing During the talking about it Often the ranking Your own personal rankings Will change Yeah I know Your mind gets might like That's the thing During the talking about it Often the ranking Your own personal rankings Will change Yeah I know

Your mind gets opened Yeah That's beautiful So today To celebrate the launch Of sex.life the podcast We're going to do Final ranking sex positions

Yeah great And we'll start with Oh shit Everyone just went a bit Fucking Quiet Quiet Vanilla Missionary Smith here

You'd just go Missionary missionary missionary If I'd just go missionary, missionary, missionary, right? If I was allowed. Okay. No. Missionary, missionary, missionary. Right. Okay.

Missionary gets such a bad rap. I'm not putting doggy on my list. No, neither. Because I like seeing eyes. Oh, you're such a romantic. I like looking into the eyes. You're such a romantic. Yeah.

Yeah. I don't. I don't. And I feel like I'm doing all the work. You know, I like it to be 50-50. Oh, God, I love it. I like it to be 50-50. I'm doing all the heavy lifting.

I've been awake since 4.30 in the morning crying out loud. Where are we on doggy morgues? I'm not the biggest fan. Neither. Neither. Like, I just feel like as, you know, a vulva owner, like, it just feels a bit disconnected and a bit of a ramming. You don't get any, like, action on the, direct action on the clitoris.

Not with a big old reach around. And also, there's... But if you're doing proper doggy, you shouldn't be. There's not the, unless you're an orangutan, who's got the arms to reach around? I know, exactly. Also, it's not always great. I think it can be a There's not that. Unless you're an orangutan, who's got the arms to reach around? I know, exactly. Also, it's not always great. I think it can be

a bit of a painful position. It might be a bit but I've tried this latest. It can be because you've got direct access. That thrusting action from behind,

if this is a cis-hetero doggy that we're talking about here, not like pegging either because that can happen in that position. Of course. It can really get deep. It's a deep I have a lot of clients that can't do it

because of pain. I wish we hadn't done this though. It's so awkward. So weird. Grow up. When they're knocking at the wall it's no good. That cervix. It's no good. Oh yeah yeah yeah. No problem for me. It's just for certain member owners

it doesn't quite work. Drake couldn't do it. Oh, he'd be knocking at some cervix doors. Yeah. Not my favourite pizosh. Yeah. I'm not doing, you know,

mineshaft, mining. I'm more of an open cast mine sort of situation. Of course. Scrape the top of the mountain, take what you need. Yeah. I'm going to put in

a strong fight here for on the side lazy spooning. Oh, okay. It's not always great, but sometimes you want to get off, but you don't want to like just put in all the effort. Yeah, but it doesn't work for people with short penises because it doesn't reach.

Again. Not my issue. I should speak to her. Not my problem. Huge amount. Oh, well, but her for you, I guess. I can't remember where we were, and I hope you don't mind me saying, but we were talking about some celebrity's penis length was revealed, and I was like, wow, and then Aaron's like,

how long's that? So I pulled out this thing, and I said that, and he was like, oh, yeah. He wasn't even that impressed! He wasn't even that impressed! And then you can hear he can just rock lazy sides like no big deal. Greg Grover from Nova rolls her over. Don't know if Nova

would be associated with that, Hornsmith. He doesn't listen to the podcast and no one fucking messaged him. No one tells. Then we're talking about his big dick. Now, I'm going to go.

I'll just get us out of here. Okay, you go three. I'm going to go woman on top. For three. Man lying down, woman on top. big dick. Now, I'm going to go I'll just get us out of here. I'm going to go woman on top. For three. Man lying down, woman on top. Oh yeah, that's a good one. And I'll keep mine all straight. Is it technically cowgirl if reverse cowgirl

is her face the other way? Yeah, cowgirl. Reverse cowgirl is such a mess. Cowgirl, number two, on the side. What if you've got a bent dick as well? That could be uncomfortable. You've got to take that into account. You've got to take that into account. You've got to take it into account. Yeah.

I'm going to go cowgirl on the side number two, number one. Missionary. Missionary. The number one sex position. What's wrong with it? Nothing. Nothing. Intimate.

It's love, mate. It's fun. It's great. Okay. That's me. Warn. Three, 69. Whoa. this is so

classic this is so classic of a white hetero man cancel cancel cancel

what's wrong with a 69 he lost a butt in the face why not what's wrong with a 69 I'm sick of a

69 are you sick of a 69 done with it but you're both getting something yeah it's exciting

I'm not saying it's from start to end. It's not the whole play. It's the opening act. Oh, my God. It's ridiculous. It's ridiculous. If you're a woman with a penis. Okay.

Sorry. If you're a woman doing this with a penis owner. Yeah. You can't even moan. And you've got a big job to do. You've got something in your mouth. You can moan. It's holding your mouth. It's holding your mouth. Oh. You can chime in and join? It's holding your mouth.

Oh. You can chime down. It's dangerous. It's a dangerous position. I can't believe this. You're out vanillering the vanilla. I'm now French vanilla and you are plain vanilla.

And not a flash one either. You're a tip-top vanilla. A vanilla vanilla. You're not even cup-a-tee vanilla. Or deep south, ironically. Pun intended. This has shocked me actually, Morgz, that you're not on board with the 69. I thought you had to put a vote in for 69 now.

It's good fun. It's good fun. Everybody's having a bit of fun. You're all right. 69, cowgirl, missionary number one. Oh, and I tip my head to you. To you, my sister and missionary. I'll say, oh, thank you for your vote. missionary number one Fletch is your 69 sitting one two or three

I don't know I hardly yeah I don't even know really these positions how about yours then just side by side holding hands on the bus tandem bikes positions. Yeah, right. How about yours then? Just side by side. Holding hands on the bus. Holding hands on the bus.

Tandem bikes. And separate beds. Okay, Morgan, give us your top three. We want your top three. I'm guessing missionary's not number one. Separate beds are number one. It is. Wait, is missionary in your top

three? Missionary is my number one. Yes! Yes! Yes. There we go. What a position. I know. That answers our question.

It's comfortable. It's just great. It's romantic. It's intimate. You can sync up each other's breaths. You've got access to nipples and genitals. It's the access to all the other. You get to the ear. Yep. Nipple, touch, scratch. It's the access to all the other. You get to the ear.

Yep. Nipple, touch, scratch. Here, there. Butt on the lip. Yeah. What's your number two? Why not? How many books have I been reading?

Give it a go. Mine would be like Reverse Cowgirl. Reverse? Yeah. Facing the other way. Yeah. It's a bit like Hayley's lazy on the side. You're not even looking at them.

No, that's the point sometimes. It's the showing off. Oh, there's a bit like hayley's lazy on the side you're not even looking at them it's a showing off like oh there's a bit of peacock it's a total like showing off but i'd rather show off my front goods right my back good well i've got little itty bitty titties and my donka donka is like my ass right so i actually like that and i like just to put on a bit of a show and i like i like the control piece. You know how sometimes my dom comes out? Yes, it does. Yeah, so from that piece, and it is a bit risky,

like if you pop off, that can really hurt. So you've got to trust the process. Okay, missionary, reverse cowgirl. And separate beds. Okay, and then my third one you're going to think is weird. What's your third? When you get the man holds you and then flips you. So you're standing upright and the man flips you completely around

and munches you out. And you can like touch and work with the penis. What is that? I'm upright 69. You lie down. It's much more comfortable. No, no, no. Where are your hands?

Are they on the ground? No, no, no. No, because you're up quite high. So you've got access to the genitals. Well, you've got to be careful with your back at this age. You can't be doing that. That's a standing 69. No, you're not putting it so you you've got access to the genitals at this age you can't be doing that standing 69 no you're not putting it in your well you could put it in your mouth but it's more for the hands and looking and because you're getting a head rush as well because all the blood's going to your head this feels like a petite woman thing oh you're being

sizist now you're being sizist yeah man you need to put on some of those shower handles on the wall. Cigarette ear, actually. Because you don't want to fall. One of those old people handles. Yeah. And maybe one of those sticky mats on the ground. Could you help your mate out by putting your hands on the ground? Yeah, potentially.

So you could take a bit of handstand weight. But then you're going to need to find a guy that's the same height as you with the strength to get you up. So wider. Yeah, and I don't know if you've ever done that on a Swiss ball, but I can only last 30 seconds. Well, sometimes it depends. I've got to stop

dating CrossFitters, eh? How often is this position occurring? Not by the sounds of it, I was going to say date more CrossFitters. Is there a name for this position?

Oh, I don't know. The pen. The pen wheel. Yeah, the pen wheel. She's a pen wheel. I love that. You know, you've got to spin it

like a pen wheel. That is so good. Okay, well there we go. Final rankings. You shut off lightly, didn't you? This is ridiculous. What do you mean?. She's a pinwheel. I love that. You've got to spin it like a pinwheel. That is so good. Okay, well there we go. Final rankings. You fronted off lightly. This is ridiculous. What do you mean? I told you I had separate beds, holding hands. And tandem bikes.

He's just a romantic boy. Thank you. And he wants to respect Margaret's privacy. So, we understand. If we're ice creams. Margaret. Oh, Margaret. My fake wife. My fake wife. His fake wife. So if we're ice creams.

I'm a prank. Morgan's vanilla. Hey. Budget brand. I'm a posh. No, she's not vanilla. She's vanilla, but there's like a hidden nut in there. Oh, maybe there's some.

Maybe it was hokey pokey. It was hokey pokey that melted and all the things went to the bottom. It's hokey on top and the pokey went to the bottom. It's hokey on top and the pokey's at the bottom. So you think you've got vanilla if you dig deep enough and if you put in the effort you're going to get to some pokies.

You guys aren't my friends anymore. Okay, what ice cream would you like to identify as? Goody Goody Gumdrops. No, but you don't like 69ing. That's so shit. You're just supposed to be picked up in 69

with nothing in it for him. That's greedy. What are you fapping about? It's time for women. Greedy Goody Gum for him. That's greedy. What are you fapping about down there? It's time for women. Greedy, greedy gumdrops. That's it. Yeah.

Gotcha. Morgan Penn, thank you so much. Make sure you check out the latest season of Sex.Life, the podcast. You think, yeah. More spice. More spice over there. I did kinkier things in an upside down 60s. You do.

I did. I'm so excited to listen to this latest season after hearing all the wild stories Morgan's thank you so much both of you

for coming in yeah