ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Lil Bitta Pod - 14th July 2023

Episode Date: July 13, 2023

On Today's Lil Bitta Pod; a blast from the past! Ex-Producer James (1.0) joins us for a wee catchup!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Fleshborn and Hayley's Little Bitter Pod. Download the MyMaccas app and use your points towards a coffee. Welcome to A Little Bitter Pod. This show is back on July 17. Not if I can help it. Stop saying that. You will be back here like the rest of us.

Okay. You get so moody. I just found out my flight is actually getting back significantly earlier than yours yeah so i'm gonna get back stage a political coup right shut the country down no no i just meant within the show oh right for you when you get back wait so i'm not coming back but you are correct oh that seems a bit unfair. In a new, more powerful form. Right. Well, something we've been doing in these podcasts over the break is catching up with the old producers. Some of the old producers. Yeah, people that have come and gone over the years. And have been part of your life over the years, listening to the podcast.

And part of ours too. And we've got one of them on the phone now. James 1.0, good morning. Good morning. Now, if I could just get you to turn your radio off in the background, please. No swearing on here. And the guys will be with you in a moment. Now, James, for those that don't know, what have you been doing since you left our show?

Oh, this is so cute. What have I been doing? Well, I left and went to london didn't i when i when i left the show you did um and i was working in radio over there so that was fun yeah i was doing sort of a similar ish thing and then i moved back to New Zealand and when I moved back to New Zealand I went back to my old school roots taking on some family business and plumbing which is slightly different to being a radio producer

You're still dealing with shit every day though Yeah, that is true In this analogy Vaughn's the shit is true. In this analogy, Vaughn's the shit, right? In this analogy,

Vaughn is the shit. Yeah. He is the Barbie doll and the shit stuck down the S-end. I thought actually I would be new butane piping. I'm a pleasure to unroll

and unwrap and get to know, you know? Is it a thing? Clamp me on, clamp me on, run me out, cut me to length,

I'm pliable, I'm fun and i'm the new and better way of doing lead pipe i don't know i'm talking shit now so that yeah yeah i know a little bit i know the minimal amount yeah yeah well didn't you go out and do some plumbing for vaughn james or did you advise i went to i went to smithies uh i went out to smithies place and did some did some lab stuff under his deck there's been plumbing did you advise? I went out to Smitty's place and did some lad stuff under his deck. There'd been plumbing. Did you have a few additional hose pipes?

Did you overcharge him? I didn't overcharge him. I don't actually think I charged him at all in the end. Because? Unbelievable. Because? Why? Because I got stuck on his driveway. He pulled in and I said to the other traders, I was like don't park on the side on his driveway. He pulled in. And I said to the other traders, I was like,

oh, don't park on the side of the driveway. It's way wetter than it looks. Oh, no. And then look outside and bloody dickhead McGee's pulled right in. And I was like, you're not getting out of there. So the cost of fixing your lawn just kind of was cancelled out. It was a negated fee. Yeah. I was heavily bogged. Heavily,

heavily bogged. Oh, dear. Now, you're also engaged to be wed. That's exciting. Yeah. To the lovely Claire Bear. It's not just plumbing in my life. Yeah, I'm engaged to be wed. I proposed to Claire Bear. She was around back in the day when I was

producing the show. And we live on Waiheke now, which is slightly different, on Waiheke Island. Beautiful. On Auckland. Yeah, beautiful. And there's a bit of a market there for plumbing. Bit of a hole in the market you spotted.

It's good from him. He spots a hole. Yeah. Straight in there. He likes it up. Very good at spotting the hole. Yeah, there has been a bit of a spot on the market for a bit of plumbing. It's been good, actually. It's been really good.

James told me when he moved to Waiheke, he put a notice on the Facebook page, I'm new, I'm plumbing, looking for whatever. And one of the other plumbers messaged him saying, don't do that, you'll be busy. Don't let them know that people are available. Yeah, no time for fishing when you start advertising. Yeah. Do you still have your little sailboat? Don't let them know that people are available. Yeah, no time for fishing when you start advertising. Yeah.

Do you still have your little sailboat? I don't mean to sound, that didn't mean to sound condescending, but it's a smaller. It certainly did. It's smaller, almost smaller than the sailboats. Yeah, it's a bigger sailboat than yours, Vaughn. Well, that's very true. I get very seasick. I don't want a boat.

Yeah, we've still got the little sailboat. Yeah, we do still have the sailboat. I am actually trying to sell it, so if anyone's in the market... We want a sailboat? God, it doesn't know. I wouldn't even know how to... What, the way the petrol prices are going? Yeah, that's true. It used to be powered by the wind. Yeah. Good way to commute, maybe, from Takapuna back

into town. But no. Can you just park it up where the fullers put their ferries, or do you need to pay? Frowned upon. No, I think it was frowned upon. I don't think they love that. Okay. But hey, look, everyone loves a try, all right?

You've got to give it a go. Yeah, could you run it aground in Hearn Bay and then just when you've finished it down, get the right tide and get it back on the water and sail it home? Yeah, well, that's actually the reason I haven't sold it is the only person that's come and looked at it so far. I didn't know the area very well.

And as I was bringing it into the jetty, I actually ran aground. And so I just called the guy. I just called the guy and I was like, hey, John, sorry, that's me out there floating here in the middle of the estuary. I actually can't get any closer because the tide's going out and I'm beached. So maybe I have to arrange another day. I don't know if boats are for you, Hon. Yeah, I know. Yeah, anyway.

Yeah. I do my best. I do my best. Yeah. So, I mean, hey, look, that's where I am. Yeah. How much does this conversation cost us? Is it a charge in an hour or they're part of?

No, it's a minimum charge. Minimum charge. One hour. Minimum charge, one hour. And then what, from there on out in an hour or they're part of? No, it's a minimum charge. Minimum charge? One hour. Minimum charge, one hour. And then what, from there on out by the hour or a quarter hour? Oh, no, I go by the hour. It's good to keep it. Got to round it up.

Yeah, an hour and five minutes is the best. Do you do the emergency weekend call-outs where it's like triple or double? You're making me sound expensive now. No one's going to call. No, I do go out on the weekend if I have to, yes Oh, yeah Yeah, yeah, you know, like if people have come to their batch In Waiheke and they've got no water

You need to help them out, go and put a new pump in, for sure Oh, fuck, at an absolute At a premium At a premium, yeah You're creaming it on the mark up on those pumps too What brand are you putting in? What brand are you putting in pumps-wise? It's called the Grundfos.

Yeah, Grundfos. You're going Grundfos. Let me tell you about Trivoli, mate. It's the same factory. Don't you come in here trying to sell me off on a Grundfos. It's a Trivoli or whatever it's called. Those are your bloody, those are the tits. That one, that Grundfos I had drowned.

Oh, God. There's so many people listening to this. I could hear Yeah I could listen to you Talk about ground pumps All day Ladies love the trainees Ladies love the trainees

Ladies love the trainees Have you Because you're obviously Engaged now But have you ever had Any like horny housewives You've turned up And you can just tell

That they broke The toilet themselves Just a bit lonely Or they're stuck In the They're stuck under the sink? No. No.

I haven't had too many horny housewives yet. The day is young. I do feel like it's probably not the sort of thing I'd reveal on public... No. There's a plumber in his secrets. Recently engaged. Yeah. Well, you didn there's a plumber and his secrets. Yes.

Recently engaged, yeah. No, no. Well, you didn't have to fuck them. I'm just saying they might have been an indecent proposal that you could tell us about in a light-hearted, hilarious fashion. Because I think we're due for Target to bring back these undercover antics.

Yes. Oh, honestly, the amount that Target has done for the trades industry is just terrible. Every time you go to someone's house, it's still around.

All the fear is still around. Every time you go somewhere, they say something, like they bring it up. Or other traders. For some reason,

people think that trades people are going to go in and do wheeze in their laundry basket like so many people seem to do on Target. That's all that they

did. Everyone turned up and they're like, oh, he's going to the laundry. Oh, now he wheeze in their laundry basket like so many people seem to do on Target. That's all that they did. Everyone turned up and they're like, oh, he's going to the laundry. Oh, now he's urinating on their laundry. Who does that? Bit of white wheeze in a sock. I think that was the problem, was the white wheeze. A lot of bit of white wheeze, yeah.

And what people didn't know, because I remember we talked to people that made the show, was that there was always someone underneath in the garage or in the ceiling above. There was literally a vision mixer in the ceiling because technology wasn't where it is now with cameras. There was a tradie smacking off in someone's bathroom or laundry. And some poor bloody vision mixer, live mixing, this masturbatory bloody wank fest happening in the laundry, in the hot, hot ceiling. Cut to camera two. Yeah. I think a better

segment for the radio would be where are those people now? Yeah. Are they still in the trades? They have some heavy trauma, the people who were vision mixing that. Yes. Yeah. It gets hot in the ceiling too. You wouldn't want to be doing summer shoots.

That is aaty job. That is a sweaty job. Absolutely melting. Up next on Target, this housewife stuck with her hands in the back of the washing machine. What will our tradie plumber do? Jesus, love, are you all right? What's happening in there?

Get your bloody hand out. We'll be back later. Well, this has been fun. It's been fun. I don't know whether I've necessarily sold my services, but, you know, I've been plumbing Waiheke Limited. Well, if we ever get a second home on Waiheke, James, we'll be sure to get you in to do the pipes.

Yeah. Is that what you're saying? Do the pipes. Do the plumbing. You can be my first tawny housewife. Yes. Yes. Happily.

Happily, James. An honour. An honour. Ah, bless. Yeah. Get out there and bloody sell some ground horse pumps. Yeah. All right.

Thank you very much for joining us, James. Really appreciate it. No worries. I'll send the bill to Ross. Yes. Yeah, definitely do. Make sure you do. Yes.

Yep.