ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Lil Bitta Pod - 14th November 2023

Episode Date: November 13, 2023

On Today's Lil Bitta Pod; Producer Jared visited Family Planning!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Fletchbourne and Hayley's Little Bit of Pod. Treat yourself to McCafe coffee with MyMackers Rewards. Welcome to A Little Bit of Pod. And Producer Jared, you had an eventful day yesterday. You went to an appointment. Yeah, I took the midi. Oh, I've got to put your thingy up.

Slide the slider up. Test one, two. Oh, hello, hello, hello, hello. Yes, here we go. Yeah, so we can hear you. Yeah, I took the midi to a family planning appointment. Morning after pill. Right, hello, hello, hello. Yes, here we go. So we can hear you. Yeah, I took the MIDI to a family planning appointment. Morning after pill. God.

Been there. I mean, what? No, I won't say that. You're getting some Connie. You finally have sex, did you? First time, yeah. You don't have to go to family planning when you lose your virginity, hon. You just clean it up and you're done. No, no, you go in and that's where you make the plan for your family going forward. Oh, God. Yeah. It was very quick.

Oh, it always is the first time. Took the middy to a family planning trip to get her IUD taken out. Oh. Oh, my dude. This is an improvised explosive device, isn't it? No, it's an intrauterine device. It stops you getting pregnant by shoving a little tea yes

it's a tea and it's got a spring on it and it goes like this and then it goes through the tiny little hole that is your cervix

and goes and it blocks the jizz does it block the jizz it poisons the jizz so that you've got no does it poison the jizz

or does it poison the egg or does it stop the egg because I just finished that six part podcast yesterday oh my god the retrievals so the podcast i love one of my favorite podcasts heavyweight did that thing where it's like and

here's someone i used to work with at npr national public radio in the states who's also made a podcast and it's about effectively the the overarching story is at yale um hospital which is associated with the university yeah a nurse became addicted to fentanyl and was stealing the fentanyl and replacing it with saline solution in the fertility clinic. So these women were going in for what is described as

one of the most painful procedures you can get. And instead of getting a painkiller, they were getting saline. Salt water did nothing. Because the nurse was stealing it for herself. The nurse was addicted to fentanyl. Oh my god. And when the women were like hey I'm feeling every single thing you're doing

they're like no you'll be alright. Women are a hysterical bunch aren't they? Keep going. And it's like insane from start to end. And they talked about how one of their they say it only happened for these like six months in 2020 but there's all these women that were like I went there in 2018 and it was happening.

Oh, there were like 50 plus, right? Yeah. And one of them was, yeah, getting IUDs and all sorts of things. Oh my God. So did you see this? Were you in the room? Yeah. The mini had a rough time getting it put in when she was in the UK about five years ago.

Okay. Yeah. Not a lot of info. No pain relief. Just a rough time How do they get it out? Like barbecue tongs How do they get it out?

Yeah No, she grabbed this thing called a speculum And then she cranked it The duck bell thing Yeah, the duck Shannon, are you loving hearing men just discover how a fucking speculum works? No, I know The emphasis on spec

They always have to get Sade the small one. Oh. Sorry, sorry. No, no, it's fine. I think she takes pride in that. She comes home and she's like, I had to get the small one again. Wow.

Which is great. Same, same. Which is great for you. Because I've got a tiny, tiny penis. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've got a tiny speculum as well. I don't know what she used to get it out. They pull it out. It's got a string speculum as well I don't know what she used to get it out

they pull it out it's got a string on the bottom almost like a tampon but it's like tiny little fish wire strings and there's different

kinds of them so some of them are hormonal some of them are copper so that's how they that's how it works as far as but it stops the sperm

moving through the uterus towards the egg right you've just googled you've just googled right and so it all went well. Five years. Yeah, five years ago it got put in. That's a long time.

There's certain ones that last five years long. You can just leave them in, and then you get them changed. You have to set a calendar reminder, like five years is up. Yeah, I don't know if Emma had a set, today is the day it has to come out. She was kind of like, it was about five years ago. I think it should probably come out. Oh, jeez big gamble say yeah um and yeah it got plucked out i caught a glimpse of it i almost threw up yeah i was gonna say he's gonna wake tum tum i hope

yeah yeah it was a bit gross and then the nurse looks at it and says huh this is actually a three-year one. What the fuck? Wait, so you've been, like, hitting it raw? For two years? Yeah, Rick Pickstock, do not say hitting it raw. Young man. We raised you better than that. We raised you. Do as I say, not as I do.

You don't say hitting it raw. Oh, son. Roar Roar Do as I say Not as I do You do as I say And then roar Oh son What It's a bit Surely it still works For those two years right Because it's in there right Did she have

Copper or Hormone Copper or Hormone Hormone I think it was The hormonal one Yeah

So they would run out It would You would be So you just Put a device in you That's doing nothing For two years Oh my god Sick Sick Well dad Well yeah You just got a device in you that's doing nothing for two years. Oh, my God.

Sick. Well, Dad. Shut the bra. Super cool, man. Shit, you've avoided... When the IUD came out, your son was in there going, see you soon. Just for reference, you're not actively trying for a baby.

She's going to hop on the pill. No, yeah. The point of the IUD was to actively avoid a baby. Yeah, wow. No, yeah, the point of the IAD was to actively avoid a baby. Yeah, wow. Oh my god. You've been rolling the dice for the last two years. Yeah, and not just on the D&D table. Yeah. Oh, you're mentioning. I was going to say, if you ever get your time

playing D&D, we'll drastically change. Well, we're happy for you that you're not an unexpected father. And she was alright with you talking about this? Yeah, yeah, I did check okay god thank god harrowing and then last night

I had a dream that I had something stuck in my teeth and I pulled it out and it was an IUD oh he's traumatised he's traumatised

that all he did was saw it on the way out for a split second