ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Lil Bitta Pod - 14th November 2024

Episode Date: November 13, 2024

On Today's Lil Bitta Pod; Vaughan shares some interesting septic tank finds (we use the word interesting pretty lightly here...)See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Fleshborn and Hayley's Little Bit of Pod. Treat yourself to McCafe coffee with my Macca's rewards. Welcome to A Little Bit of Pod. Well, yesterday on A Little Bit of Pod we talked about Hayley's septic tank. She's cleaning out, not eating today. You're cleaning out. Today I want to talk about an actual septic tank.

Because as I do find myself quite often dealing with somebody else's problem, there was a septic tank issue at a Sade's dad's place that he's selling. Now, I was like, we've got to sort this out before it gets sold. That's just good karma. Yeah.

Oh, that's really nice. Yeah, I was like, I'm going to sort this out. It was stressful and everything. I took the lid off. And for the second time in one calendar year, I was inside a septic tank. Now, people, again, will probably be saying, Vaughn, don't climb into them because the

gas is in there. I wasn't deep down into it. This is a different septic tank. This is a flash septic tank. The pooze and everything comes. All the wastewater goes into the first chamber and the heavy stuff sinks and the water goes into the next chamber. And then the stuff that's still in the water sinks down and the next one goes into the

next chamber. And in the end, it goes through a thing and it goes out into the garden. That's how that stuff that's still in the water sinks down and the next one goes into the next chamber and in the end it goes through a thing and it goes out into the garden. That's how that works. Poops in the garden. Are you just walking through your garden

and you see like a tampon or something? No, because it's just water. Don't flush your tampons by the way if you're listening. You can see right through it just looks like slightly dirty pond water

and then goes out. So is that actually good for the gardens? It is. As long as you don't use bleaches and stuff in your washing machine. But you wouldn't use it in a. So is that actually good for the gardens? It is. As long as you don't use bleachers and stuff in your washing machine. But you wouldn't use it in a vegetable garden because that would be gross, eh? I'm not eating my own poop carrots.

Yeah, exactly. Yeah. No, I don't use it in a vegetable garden. Okay. Just like flower gardens and stuff. Okay. Maybe fruit trees. Yeah.

I don't want to eat your poop oranges. You don't want poopy oranges. Yeah, I don't want your poop oranges. You want my wee-wee figs? I don't want your wee-wee. I do love figs, man. I do love figs. I've got a big fig tree and it's underneath our drip system.

Lawns and flowers and shrubs? That's fine. Knock yourself out. Yeah. Don't give me your poop figs. So when I was in there, because the pump was the problem. We were trying to get the pump out of the end. And I was in there, kind of like, not down in there, but I was standing in there.

And I kind of, curiosity got the better of me while I was waiting for someone to go get the hose. I peeped a little look into the first bit where all the heavy stuff sits, where all the big stuff sits. Guess what was in there? A badger. Not a badger. That's ridiculous. A human corpse.

Imagine if it was a badger. Not a human corpse, but not a bad place to put one. You'd need to chop it up into such small bits that when they did empty it, it could shoot up the big truck's hose. Tell us the size of the thing. So you'd almost need to blend the body, is what you're saying. You'd need a body blender. Like a Nutribullet, but supersized.

Supersized Nutribullet. Okay, give us the size of the thing because I want to guess. Don't tell us. So there's multiple things. One of them was small but had no business being flushed down a toilet. Tampon. No. Barbie. Those shouldn't be flushed. I didn't see any of those. Not a Barbie.

Toy truck. Not a toy. Tonka. Not a Tonka. Sex toy. Not a sex toy. I didn't see any sex toys. I figured they'd sink.

Butt plug. This floated. That's another clue. Yeah, they float. Butt plugs float. Depending on, unless you use the metal ones. Yeah.

I'm a glass butt plug guy. Well, that's a great. I'm more of a polystyrene butt plug guy. Yeah, he likes them light. Yeah. He likes them light. You know, I travel a glass butt plug guy I'm more of a polystyrene butt plug guy He likes them light You know I travel a lot Polystyrene with a light latex cover He doesn't want to be adding weight to his baggage allowance With all these butt plugs so he just needs a nice polystyrene one

So one of the things was a cigarette lighter Is that the one you're holding now? No, it had to be flushed It could not have fit down any other plug Because that's what I thought about Where else does the water go down? The sink? It's got a thing on it to stop it.

The bathroom sink, the same. The washroom sink, the same. Maybe someone was quitting smoking and they went, I'm throwing the pack. And they've got the lighter in the pack. You sit down to the toilet and it fell out of their pocket. Maybe. And they were like, there's no way I'm fishing that out. But I wouldn't flush it, especially at accommodation.

At a hotel I might. Are you kidding me? If it's an Airbnb or accommodation, who gives a shit? Not my problem. So a lighter was in there. Yeah. Lollipop sticks. Because I was like, what are these?

And I was like flicking them around with a stick. That'd be your kids. Give them a hiding. Yeah, give them a smack. If it was the 80s, that would have been a hiding. Oh my God. Pull the belt out. The weirdest thing was a full hand towel.

Like a tea towel or a... No, like, you know, when you wash your hands in the bathroom and there's a little mini towel hung on a thing beside it. I know exactly what's happened. They've been staying at this Airbnb with friends. They've shat themselves. They've gone to the bathroom and they have done a horrendous shit. They run out of toilet paper.

It smells so bad that they cannot holler out to someone to bring more toilet paper. Yeah. So they reach for the hand towel. They have smeared themselves all over this thing and they're like, what the hell am I going to do with this? I'm just going to have to flush it. And they've flushed it. I don't want to know about your improv here where I could do a yes and, but there's no

mini towel hanger in the toilet, and the toilet is separate from the bathroom. Shit, okay. Also, you came up with that story way too fast. She's totally done it, is what we've settled on now. I've done a version of that. If you were in an A-frame beach house in New Chums, and you've got a secret tank issue.

Have I used my own underwear as toilet paper in an emergency before and flushed it? Yes, I have. Okay? And we can just move on from that story. We can move on from that. Good undies? Or, like, not eight-year undies. Just the undies I had chosen on that day.

I'm sorry for your undies. Thank you. Sorry for your loss. I didn't see undies. Is there a plastic bag in there as well? Someone flushed a plastic bag? Come on. What is wrong with people?

Again, they have shat so badly. It's gone all over the floor. They've picked it up with a plastic bag in there as well? Someone flushed a plastic bag? Come on. What is wrong with people? Again, they have shat so badly. It's gone all over the floor. They've picked it up with a plastic bag. And flushed. I thought they might have put the towel in the plastic bag to flush it. Oh, yeah. And it just came undone while it's floating around in there. Because it could have been floating around in there for a while.

What is wrong with people? You're flushing a towel nine times out of ten. That's going to block the toilet. Yeah. And then you're going to have a whole issue on your hands yeah and then your whole weekend in the airbnb is going to be trying everything you possibly can before calling an emergency plumber yeah you know that there's people that will fix this for you yeah you didn't have to get in there you didn't have to get in there but i did get it working again and man it felt good felt good yeah good to be like again

and then i get to say, I saved the day. And that's all I ever want in life. We're waiting around other people's shit. I'd rather just pay someone and not have to say I saved the day. Yeah, that's where we're wired different. We're different people. We're wired different.