ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Lil Bitta Pod - 14th October 2023

Episode Date: October 13, 2023

On Today's Lil Bitta Pod; Producer Shannon had a navigatory nightmare!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Fletchbourne and Hayley's Little Bit of Pod. Treat yourself to McCafe coffee with MyMackers Rewards. Welcome to A Little Bit of Pod. Now, beautiful and lovely and smart, and I've started with beautiful and I apologise for that, but it's the first thing I saw when I looked at her. Beautiful producer Shannon, who's also smart and intelligent and incredibly creative. Yeah.

Got a bit of a kerfuffle yesterday when you were out shopping in the wild. You've had to go old school. Yeah, I felt like a real Gen Z. Like, coming home from work daily, I'll sometimes chuck some maps on. Like, I'm not the most directionally advised. But do you know where you live?

No, Aaron does this. Whenever Aaron goes, he maps, just in case there's a bit of a route or something. It's good for traffic, because then you get the live traffic and the road works you do this too eh

yeah I do I just plug it in and I'll be like home and it'll give me an estimate and then I'll know if it's like and I like reporting

potholes oh on Waze on Waze I report anything on the side of the road hazards etc yeah Waze is good

but you see I'd love to report the guy on the chimney who seems a little bit obsessed with the centre's console rather than watching the road in front of him who seems to be reporting things. I'd report that guy. I'd like to report the chimney that's driving slowly in the fast lane.

I overtake this bitch every day still. I know, he's so slow. Every day, anyway. But see, you're using it for navigation time-saving purposes, whereas Shannon's using it because she still doesn't know where she lives. Yeah, I just get lost so easily. I like you so much, Shannon. You are just full of surprises.

But yeah, a lot of work going on behind the scenes for our live show. I know yesterday you were both out and about, weren't you? Yeah, Carwen and I, and we took our own cars because the place we needed to go was near her house. So I was like- No point coming back. Yeah, don't worry, babes. I've got this.

We pull up to the place we were going and i said just so you know my phone's on four percent and do you have a charger in your car no no no always have a charger always have a charger in the car nah i just i don't like charging my phone overnight either i'm just so when does. Not overnight. I don't know. I just like keeping around 30-ish percent. Oh! No! Fuck!

30 is as good as 3. No, I just, I don't like to overdo her. I feel like it's too much. No, she deserves to be full. Also, iPhones now have a battery saving charging thing. So if you turn that on. Do you notice?

Do you notice? Oh, my God. This makes so much sense. Whenever Shannon sends us screenshots for things that we need to say on air, it's always got the yellow battery because she's nearly juiced. Battery-saving mode. I know. Patrick says she's gone to low battery mode.

It drives everyone I know mad because I'll be sitting in bed, my charger's there, and I'll be like, oh, my phone's on 10%, and then I just stay sitting there. This is how my granddad lived about petrol in his car. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I do that. Never filled it up. Really? Absolutely not.

Why would you drag around all that excess weight? It's going to burn off, and he's like, and there's petrol stations bloody everywhere. It's not that heavy. If you're going bush, it's not that heavy. You take some extra petrol with you. Okay, so you're on 4%. Yeah, I'm on 4%. We do the shopping. It's not that heavy. Bush. It's not that heavy. It really isn't. I'll take some extra petrol with you, though. Yeah. Okay.

So you're on 4%. Yeah, I'm on 4%. We do the shopping all as well. Phone's dead. You're out in South Auckland. Yes. So Karwin goes, follow me home. I will get to near my house.

And then all you need to do is get from where we were to like near my house. She's like, you know where you are. Countdown's up there. That's the supermarket you use. Go home from Countdown. And then as we're approaching her street, she starts like waving like a mad woman in her rear view saying, don't follow me from here.

Like she was nervous. Here's your cue. Branch off. So then I was like, stunning. But I was listening to music and I was just la la la. What are we listening to? One Direction. I had my album on. Because I listen to CDs. I remember when I was listening to music and I was just la la la what were you listening to? One Direction I had my album

because I listened to CDs and we had more than one ironically you're about to get lost because you had zero direction yeah well because I listened to CDs in the car oh my gosh

charge your fucking phone get an aux cord stop listening to CDs fill up your car I can't I don't have the money anyway so I'm driving fill up your car. I can't, I don't have the money. Anyway, so I'm driving. Fill up your car, you're excused on, because that is insane at the moment. I'm gonna, I hereby gift you my phone

charger, my car charger, I'm giving it to you. Oh, yay. So I'm driving, and then I was like, ooh, I don't know where I am. Like, very quickly, immediately lost. And then I thought, how long have you lived in Auckland? I'm from here. Yeah. I just wanted to reiterate it's always the people that grow up here that are the most useless yeah the suburbs that

they grew up yeah but then i thought when people get lost in the forest they say like go left no they don't that's the shittest advice because when you turn left your next left is another left yeah and then the next left is another left and then you're back to where you started. That's what I thought because then I thought if I just keep going left, then if I'm wrong I'll be back so I can go right. Now I'm just googled when lost in the forest, turn left, not a thing.

Stay put so people can find you. Or you follow water because it goes downhill and all water eventually makes it. She'll end up over a fucking waterfall. He said follow water. What? It was terrifying, but I just, I didn't,

I was going to pull over and just like maybe stand by my bonnet and ask for help. To be fair though, this does work in Shannon's favour. She's a real, she'd get a bit of attention on a bonnet when I say I set her up so well all she had to do

was drive straight for maybe like 5k Karen I trust that you did this you're the producer of this show you wrangle us through every single day I have no doubt that you gave fair instruction

she had to turn once and then turn right onto the street where she should know she was yeah but the thing is she wanted me to go left then right. I started going left, left, left. Because of the old adage, when in the forest, turn left, left, left.

Of course. As Bear Grylls has always said, I'm Bear Grylls, and I always go left, left, left, left, left, left, left, left, left, left, and I'm home. So what did you do? You lost. Yeah, so I did two lefts, and then I was panicking because I was like, if I hit four, then I'm back to where I started.

Like, I did know that. So I managed two lefts, and then I saw lots of cars going one way, and I was like, that feels like motorway energy. Oh, my God. Now you're going to a different suburb. No, I was like, if I can find a motorway, I know where I am. If I can hit the southern, I can go home. Okay.

So then I just started to follow all these extra cars, and then there was a truck, and I was like, well, trucks go on the motorway. She's just drifting along. They always go on the motorway. Only the motorway. They never go off. They never off the motorway. So what I did is I did a few lifts.

You're thinking of trains and train tracks, by the way. She's done more lifts. Yeah. And then I found some trucks, and then I just went with them, and then I found the motorway, and I got home. You are such concern to me. You're like a migratory bird. You just sort of followed the big birds.

Yeah. But then it was great because I got home. I was late home as well because my flatmate was waiting for me. But there was Uber Eats waiting for me. So all's well. All's well. And she made it to work today and we are grateful. Yay.

And if you're out there this weekend lost and alone, dark, do not, and afraid, always remember, lift, lift, lift, lift, lift, lift, lift, lift, until you get home.