ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Lil Bitta Pod - 14th October 2024

Episode Date: October 13, 2024

On Today's Lil Bitta Pod; We share more horrific hair removal stories!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Fleshwood and Hayley's Little Bit of Pod. Treat yourself to McCafe coffee with my Macca's rewards. Welcome to A Little Bit of Pod and today's Little Bit of Pod is an overflow from a discussion we had on the Big Pod today. The first hair removal disasters. The stories and wow, oh inundated. A lot of people getting too intimate with their genies too early on. Yeah, well, this one, one of those cases.

One and only time I attempted to get a Brazilian because I was getting ready for the rhythm and vibes. It's Vines? I think auto-corrected to vibes. It's a vibe as well. But there's never been a rhythm and vibes, has there? I don't believe so. There's rhythm in Alps, rhythm and vines. The second part is always about the location.

Yeah. I went to a cheap little place close to me. Oh, don't. See, you're fucked up there. Cheap little place close to me. I was asking the ladies how long the hair needed to be as I'm a shaver. However, because English wasn't their first language, there was some difficulties in getting across what I was trying to say.

And they thought I was meaning how long will the hair stay away? So I was like, bugger it. I'm here. I got up on the table, got my ass and my virginia around. Can we please refer to it as a foo-foo? As a foo-foo. We'll use medical terms. Okay.

The anus and the foo-foo were out. The anoonoo. The anoonoo and the foo-foo. The anoonoo and the foo-foo. Out. And. The anunu and the fufu. The anunu and the fufu. Out. And that's when they told me the hair was too short. They gave it the absolute best go, but the wax wouldn't grab it because it was too short.

It was a mess. And I was in pain. It was a mess. And I did not end up with any hair being removed. Just painful. Yeah, no. You're just ripping skin. It's going to be long, doesn't it?

It's going to be not long because the hair will break. It's going to be the perfect length't it? It's going to be not long because the hair will break. It's going to be the perfect length. Some other ones. I shaved against my parents' recommendation. I tried to shape my eyebrows at the same time. Shaved one off entirely accidentally. Luckily, I had a fridge. They wrote fridge, but I think they meant fringe.

Oh, yeah, yeah. A fridge to cover it up. We all had fridges growing up. Yeah, yeah. It's not special. Or just hide behind the fridge for two weeks. Yeah, yeah, until it grows back. Somewhat of, yeah, yeah. A fridge to cover it up. We all had fridges growing up. Yeah, yeah. They're not special. Or just hide behind the fridge for two weeks. Yeah, yeah, until it grows back. Somewhat of a growth, yeah.

Just cart the fridge around everywhere. Yeah. There you go. I tried to wax downstairs, ripped the first strip off, and it hurt so much it made me feel lightheaded, and I had to lie down on the bathroom floor. I did not continue the job, and I've never tried waxing since. So many people message in about doing DIY Brazilians. Even when you

know what you're doing, you wouldn't do that, would you? It's an animal thing. You can't get into it, yeah. You've got to be able to get it all taught. And then you need your hand to pull and that, and then you can't be in the right position. You don't want to catch a foo-foo. You need like a

spatchcock chook on a cold table under a harsh light and someone else needs to do it. And you're pulling at the spatchcock and you take a bit of skin off. You take a bit of skin. Oh, yuck. No, you're going to pull it. Taught. I've got blonde hair and my mum told me not to shave my legs because I'd regret it forever.

However, at 13 years old, I knew better. We all did, right? And dry shaved my legs. Oh, the rash, the rash. Got the worst shaving rash known to man, and dark hairs grew back, and they've been with me for the rest of my life. Yeah, that's what happened. But then how long can you actually hold off shaving?

Nowadays, probably longer, because it's a little bit more accepted. But I suppose a few years ago, yeah. It wasn't as accepted. No. Yeah. In the 90s, when it was all heroin chic, thin eyebrows, no body hair a few years ago, yeah. It wasn't as accepted. No. Yeah. Okay. In the 90s when it was all heroine chic, thin eyebrows, no body hair. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know.

Exactly. That was the dawning of a new age. Because 80s, I'd say 80s was still pretty bush. Yeah. In the pubic region, yeah. Yeah. For sure. But the 90s, maybe you trimmed your pubes if you were going to be in togs or something.

Some of the messages in. As a teenager, I was looking for a cheap Brazilian. Ended up at a random home clinic. The lady showed me her lady bits as an example of what it looks like after you've waxed for 20 years. So she showed her her fufu. We're using the term fufu. Sorry, fufu. And then the wax was too hot and one lip got burnt to the point that it later scabbed.

Far out. Far out. Far out. We don't want scabby lips. And you saw her foo-foo. And you had to look at an older woman's vagina. How bizarre. I waxed my butthole shut. We kind of touched on that on the show, didn't we?

Oh, that's so good. That's so good. Don't do that. At 10, I thought I had a monobrow. In hindsight, I did not. Took mum's razor, shaved one eyebrow right off. big bald patch in the middle thought mom's gonna kill me um and mom did yeah mom did kill me she was so livid uh my brother's sister was in beauty school i was 11 my eyebrows are only just fully growing back now yeah they take so long once you've

stuffed them and sometimes they don't come back, eh? Yeah, sometimes. If you do it like a couple of times. My mums are like that. They just never came back properly. Yeah. I let mine grow. Mine were getting too thin again.

And during lockdown, I just didn't touch them. And they were horrendous. And then coming out, got them shaped. And now they're the stuff of legends. Can you get Turkish eyebrow implants? Probably. Probably? Oh, yeah, because I follow a trans man,

and he got hair from the back of his head put onto his face to get some nice, you know, thick slugs. Oh, yeah. And for a couple of years it looked a bit, like, patchy. Yeah. Now, great brow. Great brow. Did my balls.

I love did my balls. Did my balls. I love did my balls. Did my balls for a date night. Left it on too long, ended up with chemical burns and blistering on my balls. That's veep. Yeah, I've done that on my back back in the day. Have you veeded your scrotum there? I veeded my chest once as a 20-year-old. Oh, no.

And the nipples were just weeping. That's not good. The nipples were weeping. Why don't you just let them be? My LHR story. Laser hair removal. Laser hair removal. Was they burnt my bum hole.

As I had a birthmark on the side of my cheek and in my crack. Oh, it's darker. And the machine was attracted to the pigment in the skin. So there was no, but there was no hair there. Oh. So it blistered me anus. You don't want to blister me anus. Me a noo noo.

Is that what we're calling it? A noo noo? Yeah, a noo noo. Yeah, a noo-noo. I dry shaved at school camp and then jumped in a hot pool. Extreme sting led to rash. Massive rash. Oh, yuck.

Don't try. First shave at eight years old because I'd seen mum do it and hadn't been told not to. I cut my shin so badly on the first stroke up the shin, I still have the scar. I'm 41 years old and I still have that scar. Somebody else, I shaved my legs at 14 years old because I still have the scar. I'm 41 years old and I still have that scar. That's somebody else. I shaved my legs at 14 years old because I thought it was cool, then completely gouged my shin to the point where I still have the scar.

Stop it, stop it, stop it. I'm going to leave the world. The shin. I tried Naughty Nads. Remember Nads when I was 13 on a Brazilian? That Nads was hair removal. Yep. Cream. But wasn't it like depilatory cream? Like it melted off or did you rub it in and then rip it out? No, no, no. Melted off. Melted your pubes off. Jesus Christ. Naughty Nads

when I was 13 on a Brazilian and it was too much for me and the wax. Oh no, it was wax. Sorry. Nads did a bit of everything. They did strips and everything. It was too much pain for me. The wax went hard. So I had to use a little fan heater blowing up my foo-foo trying to melt the wax to pick it off. And that's when my mum walked into that site.

I'd be like, mum, help! Mummy! I might not my first attempt, but I did have a braz pre-year 13 ball with a guy I was infatuated with. Oh, gosh. Oh, yeah. Was like, shit, what to do?

I came... I come from a shocking heritage of epilator use on legs. Oh, yeah, they're awful, eh? So I was desperate. The day before the ball, Shocking heritage Of epilator use on legs Oh yeah They're awful eh Heroin So I was desperate The day before the ball I attempted to de-bush With the epilator

So you're individually Plucking out each pubic hair That's awful Feticides burnt in the memory And I went out To buy a cigarette shaver Mum wasn't for these As she was the epilator lady

She epilated Oh She knew mum must have A fucking pain tolerance Like nobody's business Yeah those things are horrible My mum did it on her legs. She probably puts her cigarettes out on her wrist just for it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No ashtray, no problem. Yeah, just put it out there. Back in the day, I went to veet my chest. I put it on. I felt this warm burning sensation because I've left it on for too long. Jumped in the shower for a quick one. Thought everything was okay.

Two days later, I woke up with tiny pinpoint scabs from where the hair follicles used to be all over my body. Oh, yeah. It's horrible. Youicles used to be all over my body. Oh, yeah. It's horrible. You've got to be really careful with that stuff. I think just let it be. As a 20-year-old male, my partner at the time had just started beauty therapy and had learned to wax that day, got home, and she's like, I'm going to wax your back and chest. It was only the next day that she learned she had to trim the long body hair before waxing it.

It just snaps. Yeah. Oh, dear. Oh, God. This is painful. My partner will kill me if he hears me say this. I was doing the waxing horrendously, I might add. Yeah.

Had never used it before. Started on his back. What could go wrong? Well, that didn't. But someone, me, got cocky and was like, we can go further. It'll be right. Nope, absolutely not. Hit the sensitive area.

It bruised instantly. Oh. Oh, no. It was purple, black, blue, and I can only imagine extremely painful. It also had forgotten. I'd also naturally stuck a few bits down to pull off as I went. So it wasn't one and done. So, like, she waxed them up.

No, you've got to do it as you go. Keep the wax on. Yeah, no, no, no. We're learning. Okay. Now I'm going to finish on this one because this is wild. Oh, I don't know if I can hear it. Probably not on air appropriate.

Oh, yeah, I've heard that. It wasn't the actual hair removal that made it memorable. The lady that was performing the removal that made it. I was having an intimate area wax for the first time. It took me a long time to pluck up the courage to actually go through with it. And the woman doing the wax told me how when she goes home after waxing the same area, her husband gets very excited and says, I quote, I can't wait to lick the bowl clean. Why would you tell that to a customer?

That's the same woman that showed her flaps to the woman after 20 years of waxing, right? Oh, 100%. She's 100%. That's what I mean. Those beauty clinics are crazy. And her name's Sharon. Oh, gosh gosh We used to When we were flatting

We used to go to an at home situation And this woman was batshit crazy She'd met a guy who lived in Afghanistan online And was in love with him And he was coming to New Zealand to marry her Really? He turned up Oh he did turn up?

And got married and then just disappeared Somewhere into this beautiful country And she was using a psychic to try to track him down Of course up. He did turn up. And got married and then just disappeared somewhere into this beautiful country. And she was using a psychic to try to track him down. Of course. But the psychic was giving her other a whole lot of information about all of her clients, one of which was Sade. And she hit Sade with this, my psychic says this situation about you guys. Oh my god.

My dad said that before. That's wild. Yeah. It was a hot, every time you went you were just like, what crazy shit am I going to experience? But cheap. Cheap. She did a pretty good job There are some areas in which I'm going to cut costs My pubes is not one of those areas She had a screaming match with one of her kids once When she was halfway through waxing my back

And I just lay there in this weird room in their house Listening to her and her daughter absolutely going each other It was a very interesting period