ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Lil Bitta Pod - 15th July 2023

Episode Date: July 14, 2023

On Today's Lil Bitta Pod; Another edition of Ask Us Anything!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Fleshborn and Hayley's Little Bit of Pod. Download the MyMaccas app and use your points towards a coffee. Welcome to A Little Bit of Pod. The big pod and the show is back July 17. And we did say we had a... Not if I've got anything to do with it. Not if you get stuck in Los Angeles.

Not if I go missing in Tijuana. Oh no. You're not doing Tijuana, are you? No, no, no, no? In Tijuana. Oh, no. You're not doing Tijuana, are you? No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. Si, papi. Si.

So we did ask for Q&As, ask us anything, and we did have a lot more come in overnight, so we're going to get to those. So it will be the third part of the Q&A. Okay, here we go. Question one, what does Fletch do with all his spare time? Not even a question, followed with three exclamation marks. Excuse me, I am

very busy. We talk about this on the show a lot. Very busy man. Well, he's got to be in bed by 7pm, so No, 7.50 to 8.15 is my bedtime. But he crams in a lot of that time. Man, that's good stuff. I'm jealous of that. Here's what he does. He goes home and he cooks a boring meal

and then he goes to the gym. Some dry mints with some glue in it. Yeah, and then he goes to the gym at least twice and then he goes for like a swim or a bike ride

and then he walks a bit. Doesn't he fucks a bit? I don't. He just gets down to a bit of fucking. He has at least a fucking day. No, man,

we can't go Metro and Fletch's day without talking about a bit of fucking. I don't know if that a fucking day. We can't go Matron and Fletcher's day without talking about a motherfucking. I don't know if that happens every day. I don't know if we'd say that. I love it. Not every day. Like, most of them, granted, but not every day.

The odd day, but not a weekday. Not a weekday. He puts his sex towel in the washing machine, and then he makes himself dinner at fucking 4.30. Then he watches a movie with his cat, and he goes to bed on his own. That is, I mean, look, that's... Look us in the eye and tell us we're wrong. That sometimes happens like that, but I don't know. And don't hate a player.

I don't hate a player. I'm proud of you. Don't hate a player just because he's got a busy day. I want to live through you. Eating and fucking. Eating and fucking. I mean, I didn't go out and have like 800 fucking kids. I didn't have 800 kids either.

I had two. Which I, well, I mean, we recorded this before on a holiday, but recently August and I spent the afternoon cleaning up the treehouse that they so desperately wanted, but then it was built, they didn't want a classic kid thing. But that was a nice way to spend the afternoon, just a bit of one-on-one time. Oh, God, that sounds awful.

And talking and talking. You could have been making cocktails. Yeah, me and Aaron got drunk. But that was a nice way to spend the afternoon Just a bit of one on one time Oh god that sounds awful Talking and Boring You could have been making cocktails Yeah me and Aaron got drunk I was drinking up that tree Me and August got shit faced We fell down the ladder Oh my god that just reminded me

You're going to have the joy of like Drinking with your kids when they're older Yeah I loved when I got older Like when I was like 16, 17 Just having a couple of drinks with my parents And then when I was in my 20s man, me and my dad used to have like nights

we would sit up and drink red wine like heaps of it and watch like music videos of old bands like Hot Chocolate and be like man this song oh man this song listen I believe in miracles

I was just going to pull up a little Hot Chocolate your saxophone till you came along it is one of the best experiences hanging out with your dad I believe in miracles. I was just going to pull up a little hot chocolate. Your sex a thing. Do your came along. It is one of the best experiences, hanging out with your dad when you're a grown woman. Far out, you're going to have such a fun time. Yeah, but they might be into like, I don't know,

vodka cruises or something. Yeah, they might be like, oh, my vodka is so embarrassing. Have a whiskey on the rocks, girls. They're like, man. I'm like, if you want to drink vodka cruises, you know where you need to go. Uncle Fletcher's house. But he'll be asleep because it's half past five in the afternoon.

Make sure you call ahead because he might have someone there. I don't know. You make it sound like this happens all the time. It's a once in a blue moon thing. Our afternoons are so different. No, no, no. You've confused blue moon with moon. Oh, okay. right, sorry.

Yeah, the moon's there even when you can't see it. Hayley. Sorry? Next question. Hayley, what was it that helped you make the decision to jump into a radio role? I think we kind of covered this. Money, money, money. Just a regular income.

Yeah, we touched on the fact that it's a regular pay. No, it was something I always said when I left drama school. I'd never take a job for money. Money helps, like regular money helps, but I was more sort of stumbled into it. Mormons. And then, oh my God, Mormons. He's got a Mormon man bun.

No, they're lawyers. Mormon man bun. Praise be worse. I was more delighted that I enjoy it, and it's fun. It's just really lots of fun. Oh my God, she likes, is this admitting, you're admitting that you like working with us? I like working with you very much.

Has that been, because I know when you first started doing it, we were talking to Pax and Pax did a stint on another radio session and famously hated it. But I think that was because their audience are a pack of When I first said, Bleep that, bleep that. Note that down. Jared left, the bleeper left. He won't even hear it. He won first said, oh. Bleep that. Bleep that. Note that down. Jared left.

The bleeper left. He won't even hear it. He won't even hear it. Good, good, good. Bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep. Now, yeah, and he didn't like it at all. And then when you said you were going to do it, like there was some comedians that were like, oh.

Yes. A little bit like looking down their nose. A little bit. Oh. I think because they thought going into a job like this that is so solid and kind of occupying would mean a total departure from everything else but i've worked very hard to make sure that my acting hosting comedies still remain but that means you're giving up a lot of time to no fucking but i'm working yeah yeah no i think there was a little

air of like oh god why are you doing that? And then now people say that it's like, it's a lot of fun and I'm still able to be myself. It's good. It's good. But also I think a lot of comedians experience with radio stations is going in to be interviewed and just like the radio hosts being threatened

by the other funny person and like taking it real competitively. This is a particular show in a particular group, which I think is very different. Like the audience, you people who are listening, behave in such a certain way that I was not expecting. Whereas comedians I know, like Guy Williams on radio, Mel Bracewell, Pax Asadi, have all been on the receiving end of some horrific feedback.

You think you're so funny, that kind of behavior. Whereas this audience that you guys worked so hard to whip into shape are delightful. So it's just a joy. It's just a joy. There's no room for arseholes. No, no room for arseholes. I can't imagine there's room for eating and fucking.

Constantly. Not in my life because I'm always working. I would like to, I have never done, eat and fuck at the same time if we're talking about eating and fucking. Yeah. No, there's got to be separated. What, in case you spill your mints on their back I turned around

And was just met with The blankest look I've ever seen in my life Carwin was just like Vaughn It was a resignation And a look The running joke Mints in the fridge

Is funny because I hate mince And I never cook it Truly only eats chicken If there is any Meat in the fridge It'll be chicken or fish Chicken mince

Jared's back There's a lot of bleeping That just happened The C word He said the C word And then I repeated it Four times She popped through it though

Which has been bleeped Now this is a great question Oh I yelled too hard I laughed too hard and i've gone right here if you had to write a biography about each other what would the title be carl fletcher eating and writing a biography around each other you know like edmund's hillary edmund hillary's was the view from the top or something yeah yeah yeah you know like it's got it's got to be like a bit of clever wordplay yeah i just like when i hear someone say something

funny i always the first thing that pops into my head is that's the title of my autobiography or that was my nickname in high school. What about Vaughan Smith? Small farm, big heart. That's good. Yeah. I like it.

Small farm, big heart. Little tractor. Little tractor, big heart. And then the story of my quad bypass. The story of my quad bypass. The story of his triple stroke. The story of how red meat and whiskey were slowly killing me. The Vaughan Smith story. Oh, that could be quite good on its own, though.

Vaughan Smith, red meat, whiskey, and you need a third one. Yeah, rule of three. Red meat, whiskey, and women. Because your life is very much. I don't want to sound like I've been eating and fucking though. Yeah, that does sound like eating and fucking. That's yours. My life of whoring.

Eating and fucking. What would yours be? We've said that a lot. Stop saying that. That's very funny to me. Stop being so crass, please. How am I supposed to explain eating or fucking to my children? If mine comes out in 10 years,

it'll probably be some bloody boring my journey to sobriety. How am I? What was the catalyst for my sobriety? Nah, I don't know. Hayley Sproul, My Way. Nah, too classic. Too Sinatra? Big Men and boyish girls.

Yes, yes, yes. Manly men and boyish girls. Yeah, manly men and boyish girls. Yeah, the Haley Sprout story. These are a few of my favourite things. That's a good question. Next question. What does Ross Boss do all day?

Listen to Taylor Swift on a swively chair in his office? Be keen to know what his actual role is. That's right. Somebody messaged me saying, is he the boss or does he just kind of like hang around? Because we've known him for 20 years. Yeah, yeah. In a whole variety of roles. And when he came to work here, we're like, that'll be either fantastic or fucking terrible.

And it turned out it's been quite fantastic. It has, yeah. But yeah, he just manages a radio station, right? He's the big dog. And he's like, stop saying eating and fucking. Yeah. Stop taking cupcakes. Have a complaint about this.

If you could just maybe stop talking so much about that. Or you're coming to be like, Hayley, great work though. Great work from you, Hayley. Fantastic stuff. Honestly, can't get enough. Has to give Hayley a lot of compliments. Yeah. He's a person manager.

Because you know I put that in my contract, right? Compliments. Compliments, yeah. Multiple compliments. He makes sure that everybody's doing what they need to do. But just basically a manager, but a radio station one. Because you've got the boss of the huge corporate, of NZME, who runs all of it, including the newspaper and all that side of things.

Michael Boggs. Michael Boggs. Yes, Boggs-y, as we affectionately call him. And then you come down and we've got the next tier who manage the radio side of things, right? Yes. And then it's the next tier below is Ross. Ross, who manages this particular radio station. And then probably the next tier down is Ross Who manages this particular radio station

And then probably the next tier down would be Carween who manages us I know, I'm the next tier down I'm like the manager, sub-manager The bottom tier but also the top tier Bogsy reports to me I report to the people Sort of like a prime minister of sorts The board reports to you

And then Bogsy reports to you. They both report to me. I have a feeling you're just kind of... I don't know if you're elevated that high on the flowchart, organisational flowchart. Have I misread? Yeah, you're actually quite down the bottom. Okay, well, that's all right.

Okay, next question. What are your guys' standout... What are your guys' standout or favourite moments from... The... You can say it. It was where we used to work. We don't work there anymore. The edge. what are your guys' standout or favourite moments from the... The edge. You can say it. It was where we used to work. We don't work there anymore.

The edge. Don't be silly. My favourite was 97.5. That was in Wellington. And I used to call up and request songs and stuff. Oh, no, that was more FML. It's gone downhill since we left, though, hasn't it? I will say that.

You're such a... I'm a little bitch, aren't I? You're a little bitch. You liked that, though, hasn't it? I will say that. You're such a, I'm a little bitch, aren't I? You're a little bitch. You liked that though, didn't you? No, it was just a little,

I mean, it was absolutely unnecessary to say. I mean, but it has. I just factually, factually it has. I'm just saying,

factually it has. It's all subjective. It's not actually. It's subjective. There's hard facts here to back up, but it has gone. Some people listen to this show

and think that's utter shit. At time of recording this podcast, I'm getting the memories that it was 10 years ago that Africa was in the charts. Oh, wow. My favourite things, we kind of talked about it on a podcast between two beers. My favourite things have always been the things

that just like happen. Like they're not planned and you watch the whole thing unfold. Because a lot of that was doing afternoons. We would just make stuff up as we went along so much time you just have so much time in the afternoon like you play three songs in a row you're like what should we do i don't know let's just let us god easy yeah whereas in breakfast you're talking now with songs being two and a half minutes you're talking every two and a half minutes you can't because otherwise the time just a lot of sitting around and you get tired and you accidentally fall asleep you wake up and it's five minutes to seven and you haven't spoken since I passed three. But nobody noticed.

But yeah, getting Africa the number one was definitely- That was pretty cool. That was pretty cool. Well, a lot of people that listen to the podcast might have tuned in around this is what crazy looks like. That was quite, that blew up quite massively. Yeah, it did. That was cool.

That was like the first thing that kind of went mega viral like they had millions of yeah audio i did an interview with someone once who called me from like america and they were doing a study on why pictures go viral and why videos go viral but audio doesn't go viral and they were using that as an example of something going viral that was only audio yeah right really it was really interesting because I never really thought about it. Because it doesn't. But then videos go viral, but there is audio to them. And sometimes the audio goes viral in video form.

Like the 20 wax woman with the 20 bucks, the 20 wax. And the, what day is it? Father's Day. Yep. Those are both like audio that went viral. It's so amazing that Father's Day. Like I cannot, whenever you say the day is Sunday, I cannot It's so amazing that Father's Day. Like, I cannot win any, whenever you say the day is Sunday, I cannot think of anything other than Father's Day.

Then that close, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, last question. Would you rather fight a horse-sized duck or 100 duck-sized horses? Duck-sized horses. Yeah, I'd go horse-sized duck. I'd go one. 100, you'll be overwhelmed. No, but they just kick them all. They're small. No, no, no. But they're horses. Boom, I'd go horse-sized duck. I'd go one. One. At 100, you'll be overwhelmed. No, but they just kick them all.

They're small. No, no, no. But they're horses. Boom, boom, boom, boom. Yeah, but they're tiny little horses. And a panther can take down an elephant. Yeah. Do you know what I mean?

Like, you better just concentrate on one enemy. They would swarm you. One slip, you're on the ground. They're covering you, kicking you with their tiny hooves. Imagine a massive duck with that big bill. It would eat you up. It'd be dodging the bill would be your major thing. And then the rest of it's like feathers.

Get on the head. It would shit on you. How would you kill it? Break the neck. Shoot it. Oh, no. Do we have weapons? Oh, we hand-to-hand combat.

We're hand-to-hand combat. I've got a laser. What's got God gave us? The new microwave laser that I've invented. Right. You're going to just disturb them into the atomic level. It just makes them real hot. Yeah.

And they start bubbling and they run away. Well, I'd still do duck because then you're going to have a huge amount of duck pancakes. Oh my God, duck pancakes. We could get some hoisin. No, unless they're the ducks from the park because they're not barbecue ducks. They're not the ones you barbecue. Are they not Peking? You've got to have Peking.

Can you eat Indian runner ducks? A good looking duck for an eight too, I think. I don't know if it's based on how sexy they are, Vaughn. No, but you know, like a squat mallard. It's not the shape of an eating duck. Whereas a Peking duck and an Indian running duck are a bit more similar. I mean, I just don't know my ducks that well, to be honest. Yeah, I mean, you'd know a Peking duck if you saw.

He's the guy looking through the curtains Producer Jared's brought up a good point That if the duck was horse size With very spindly legs still It would be so top heavy Yeah you reckon Like karate chop it in the shin Good stuff

Thanks for your questions everyone Great questions How long has this record been? This podcast I'm running at 15 but I don't know if we started at 15 Thanks for your questions, everyone. Great questions. Yeah, great questions. How long has this record been, this podcast? I'm running at 15, but I don't know if we started at 15. It feels like hours ago we were screaming, eating, and fucking, you know? God, was that the same podcast? I'm lightheaded.

Today's been a lot.