ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Lil Bitta Pod - 15th June 2023

Episode Date: June 14, 2023

On Today's Lil Bitta Pod; Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley discuss how they'd fake their own deaths!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The ZM Podcast Network. Fletchborn and Hayley's Little Bit of Pod. Download the MyMaccas app and use your points towards a coffee. Welcome to A Little Bit of Pod. And we ran out of time on the show today to talk about a news story that was doing the rounds yesterday and over the last few days. A man in Belgium. Now, he has done this for social media.

Oh, what a prank. Could you hear my eye roll? man in Belgium now he has done this for social media oh could you hear my eye roll a Belgian man he fakes his is he filled with jam oh my god like a Belgian

and he's got a little pink pink don't even get me some of the jellicristers on the top yeah Belgium slices and Belgian biscuits

my favourite some of my favourite although I did have quite an erotic dream last night about Chelsea Buns oh yeah I'm not a sweet bun you're depriving yourself if you're dreaming Some of my favourite Although I did have Quite an erotic dream Last night about Chelsea buns Oh yeah I'm not a sweet bun

You're depriving yourself If you're dreaming About sweet treats You're depriving yourself Of sweet treats You look good though Yeah looking good Looking tight

For a special occasion I'll have a Chelsea bun God they're delicious Anyway so this guy I want to say Nick We're going away next weekend To New Plymouth For the dual purpose

Of Fletch's birthday And also your comedy show Yeah Fletch messaged me Asking me if I was Going to go to the gym While we're down there What a fucking loser

No because I've got We're only there For two nights Yeah well I'm going to I'll go for like one workout When we get there I'll go on my own Where?

No on the Friday Because I've got a hook up I've got a friend That can pull some strings You've got a hook up In New Plymouth Yeah That can get us

Into a gyme A snappy I'm not going to the gyme No we're not I'll go for a lovely Feastily walk That's what I said I was going to do

Yeah Go for a lap Now also bring your togs Because we can go swimming too But what kind of swimming? Like hydra slides No they're hydra slides I'm not going lengths

I'm going laps No to spa pool Where at? Frolic At the aquatic centre I'm not going to the aquatic centre I'm going for a a frolic at the aquatic centre. I'm not going to the aquatic centre. I'm going for a fucking frolic in the aquatic centre. We're there for two days.

One of which I'm working. I'm not doing that. If it's raining and rubbish, there'll be nothing to do. I have a wank in the hotel room. We'll go have a mass day. All 13 of us. Everybody retire to your own quarters. Sort of a synchronised wank, but without everybody being in the same room.

We'll pop in the group chat. How was yours? Well, that's the thing. You're always rushing it because you're in such a hurry because you've got a busy schedule. But some of us, especially if we've got the weekend away from the kids in a hotel room and somebody else is cleaning up the mess, might take the better part of an hour and a half. I might even get Aaron involved in mine.

I don't know. Really? I'm mutual. I was going to lock Shaday in the bathroom. Mm. Mm. But anyway- We've got different plans for you, Plumber. You should be spending time with your family.

And I will be doing that. Not having bloody appointments and going to the gym. So anyway, this guy. Who is he? Fakes his own death. His name is David Barton. Oh my God, I saw that. He's 45.

He faked his death and all of his family like horrified and sad. How could you put your family through this like... Dude, it gets worse. No, it gets worse. His family are all at the funeral. Just so they're paid for a funeral, good. When they hear a chopper and the chopper lands next to them and out of this... They fly in singing that song.

Some folks are bold. Mage, raise a flag. No, that's a very old reference, Horne. That's a very old reference to... Guys, just pause. Someone's taking photos out our window. Smile. And we're the background.

And they've got two additional flashes. And I've got rude boobs today. You've got rude boobs. Let's get them out. You do, you do. I'm doing a peace sign. I can't see the camera, so the camera can't see me. That kind of lens will be very fuzzy in the background.

I don't think we'll be at all sane. So we get this chopper lands at this funeral that this guy's faked his death from. And out of the chopper, his family see a camera crew and, surprise, David Barton, the guy that faked his death. And he did it all. He's 45. He's too old for that shit. What a prick. And he did it to teach his family a lesson about staying in touch.

That is such a prick move move isn't that a prick move oh my god how did he fake his death what did he say happened i haven't oh look i'll be completely honest i haven't read it i haven't the skim read this article he's busy he's busy i'm a very he's too busy one of his daughters who helped trick his followers he's got you oh she helped she was she was in on it she wrote on social media rest in peace daddy i'll never stop thinking about you oh my god so then all of her friends like i'm so sorry i heard about your dad yes and it's all on tiktok um but people have obviously like blown up at this because they're like dude that's really mean

that is fucked up if you had to fake your own death For whatever reasons What would you do? Like what would your excuse be? How have you died? I might do like a Washed away at sea That's what I was just thinking Yeah And because they never find a body

So that rules out having to deal with that So they just have a casket there But it's not real Yeah But they often wait though Like that would be a long game Like they might wait months Yeah but I got holiday

Europe Go to Europe I'd do the same bit of Volcano Like an active He was hiking in Volcano He got too close And everyone was like Hey hey hey hey

And then he slipped and fell in Okay what are you doing Fletch How are you dying I don't know but I'd definitely Do a big fund me And just take all the money You'd do a big go fund me? Yeah, do a big go fund me.

Or you'd help Bev pay for the funeral. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you'd just get it and you're off to Costa Rica. You son of a bitch. Yeah. No, I just. I mean, it's quite horrible. The whole thing is fucked.

Yeah, so many people would be like crying. And also 45 and a TikTok creator. How fucking embarrassing. You should be dead. Like grow up. You deserve to die. 45 and a TikTok creator. How fucking embarrassing. You should be dead. Like, girl, you deserve to die. 45 and what's your job? I'm a TikTok content creator.

Oh, fuck off. Fuck right off.