ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Lil Bitta Pod - 15th May 2024

Episode Date: May 14, 2024

On Today's Lil Bitta Pod; Aaron is Regressing... See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Fleshborn and Hayley's Little Bit of Pod Great things are brewing at McCafe, the perfect start to every day Welcome to A Little Bit of Pod I didn't know this was possible, but Aaron's in the middle of suffering from a cooking regression Oh, okay, he's a terrible cook I thought he was at the bottom Yeah, same No offence

Yeah, no, no, no, same. Well, I mean, he's so handy and great at other things, isn't he? You know what I mean, like in my break. You can't be good at everything. Yeah, yeah. I can't chip a wall. He can. Yeah. But I can cook. Anyway, so... I can't sell broadband gas and power

packages. No, you can't. He can. He can. He can. Yeah. So he... Oh my god, I talked to him, by the way. I was like, can we get you on to chat to us on the podcast? And he was like, oh yeah, I'll do that. And then we were chatting and I figured out that he thought I meant in character as Greg Grover from Nova. He's more comfortable playing Greg Grover from Nova.

I was like, how embarrassing. He's got enough character background. He's got a theatre background. So for international listeners, Hayley's fiance is on TV ads for a power company. And on a comical person who goes door to door and he always rhymes. A lot of

ads. These ads are on every single night. When we're out together, he gets recognised more than I do. And it really pisses Hayley off. It irks me. And it's so funny. King ad. Anyway, yeah, I realised when I was talking to him about it, I was like, no, come in to talk as my partner. No one's really met you.

And he was like, oh, he thought he was going to be here, like, hi, it's Greg Grote. I was like, no! No! How embarrassing. Yeah. Anyway, so I'm, you know, opening a show and busy, busy, busy, busy. And he was like, I embarrassing. Yeah. Anyway, so I'm, you know, opening a show and busy, busy, busy, busy. And he was like, I'll do dinner. And then he was like, I was like, okay.

I said, I don't want takeaways. I was like, I can't have, you know, I just want to just have something really simple. Yeah, okay. Okay, what could I do? And I was like, you know what? But you just asking me to organize it. I might as well just do it. I could just do something really, really quick.

It would take me 10 minutes. But it just sounds like takeaways would be the easiest option. I know do it. I could just do something really, really quick. It'll take me 10 minutes. But it just sounds like takeaways would be the easiest option. I know, I know, I know, I know, I know. But we'd had takeaways the night before. Okay. So I was like, come on. Yeah. And we had some stuff in the fridge, which, because I'm going away,

I know will not get eaten because he won't cook the whole time I'm gone. Yeah. I'm away for a week. What will he do? Just takeaways? Yeah. Oh, wild. Yeah, I know.

For a whole week. For for five nights that dude will get pizza for sure anyway so i was like well look what have we got in the fridge i said there's a iceberg lettuce there and there's a bag of coriander coriander doesn't keep it's already getting a little bit and i was like we'll do tacos i said look i can see a salsa there um there's coriander there's. All we need to do is get some chicken, some taco seasoning. That's it. We'll just do real simple. We'll just do cheese.

Perfect. He's like, okay. What kind of chicken? Do you know what? To make it real easy for you, why don't you just buy a rotisserie chuck, a handbag chuck, rip it apart, chuck it in a pan to heat it up, put the taco seasoning. Great.

Yeah. Okay. Great. Okay. So I write this little list. You need to get some soft tacos. Yeah. You need to get some taco seasoning in a handbag chook.

Yeah. Great. Off he goes. He comes back. He's got this. Then about 6.30, I was like, I reckon now would be such a good time for you to do that dinner. Oh, you want me to do the chicken?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, mate. I reckon you do the chicken. Okay. How do you want me to do the chicken yeah yeah i reckon you do the chicken okay how do i how do you want me to do it oh my god take the breasts of the chicken off the chicken and will you just use just use the breast and you can enjoy the rest of the chicken while i'm gone he won't it'll just go off yeah okay he takes it off and he rips off the two breasts whole and he puts it on there and he he was like, now what do I do? I was like, what do you mean? He is like my, this is exactly how my granddad, my papa functioned. Now, I barely ever saw it because by the time I came along,

he'd already been married for probably 40 odd years. But this is what he was like. My nana once asked him to put the butter away and he was just like, where? Where? I know. But do you know, it's a regression. Cause I think he's always been a bad cook,

but he hasn't been this completely incapable. Yeah. And I was like, so do you think for tacos that we would put those whole breasts in the pan, put the seasoning on and then what, how would we pop those in the tacos? You're going to need to shred it. Shred it.

Yes. Okay. Pulled it apart in like huge chunks. I said, no, no, no. We're probably gonna have three tacos each. So smaller chunks. Smaller chunks. Yeah.

Puts it in the pan. I hear the pan. I was like, something's not right. He hasn't put any oil in the pan or anything. I was like, it's just dry, dry, dry. Give it a big glug of olive oil. Oh my God. It's god ridiculous i get there the lettuce is in sheets and i was like i reckon for a taco maybe we shred it to be a similar size it would have just been a lot easier for you to do it yourself i literally

could have just done like with a chip that didn't want to take me five minutes to throw together. Is it weaponized incompetence? No, it's not. He genuinely has just upskilled in so many other ways in two years. He had to let go of space. He had to reallocate his stats. It's like in a video game when you're setting up your character. You've got to allocate your stats.

I know. And then at the end, he laid it all out and he was like, okay, I'll do your taco. And I said, no, I said, no, I'll do your taco. And I said, no. I said, no, I'll construct the taco because you do it cooked. He puts it all in the wrong order, like lettuce on the top. No, lettuce on the bottom. Lettuce on the bottom, you idiot. Wait a minute, what do you go on top?

The meat. The meat and then the sauce is on top. The chicken's a bit different. The mince, nah, mince has got to go on the bottom. Yeah, because it's sloppy. I'm working with a dry chicken that's been cooked like three times at this point. And then I get there to what he's laid out. There's the lettuce, there's the salsa, there's the coriander, there's some parmesan cheese, whatever the fuck.

I don't give a shit. It's cheese. It's cheese, it's parmesan cheese, and there's mayonnaise. Oh, my God. Mayonnaise is good on a taco. So I did Italian cheese, Japanese mayonnaise, lettuce, and three times cooked. It's an international taco.

Yeah. Yeah. You know what? I was fed. Did he cook the meat okay? It was warm. Yeah. Do you know what I mean?

It's a bachelor's handbag. It's been cooked. It's already been cooked. You just need to get the seasoning on it. Oh, wow. Anyway, yeah, it's a real regression. But you've kind of created this monster, haven't you? Well, I just sort of went, he's been working so hard

on the house, like he doesn't need to cook for the last couple of years. I'll do that. And I just realised it was good. When I eat things, I always look at them and I'm like, I could do that. Like, that's how I appreciate food. What's gone into that? What's that flavour? He doesn't think that way, Warren. He just puts it in a mouth hole.

I could slave over a meal for two Warren. He just puts it in a mouth hole. The energy conversion unit. I could slave over a meal for two hours. He'll enjoy it as much as if I shoved some ham sheets into a bun. He just is like, he doesn't, he can't tell. It's just energy for the machine.