ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Lil Bitta Pod - 15th September 2024

Episode Date: September 14, 2024

On Today's Lil Bitta Pod; Fletch explains why he's stuch an excellent typistSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Fleshborn and Hayley's Little Bit of Pod. Great things are brewing at McCafe. The perfect start to every day. Welcome to A Little Bit of Pod. Guys, yesterday, there I was, working away, beavering away, doing prep for the show. Are you a beaver?

On my keyboard. How do you type again? Wow, fast. Really fast. I actually did Mavis Beacon Texture's typing. Did you? Yep. Wow. And that's why there areavis Beacon Texture's typing. Did you? Yep. Wow.

And that's why there are two little bumps on the F and J. That's where you put your little fingers. Did you know that? Your little fingers. What are those ones? Index. I was like, if I put my pinky there, I've got fucking nowhere to go. Not little.

And Mavis Beacon, who takes care of the D? That actually wasn't meant to be some funny, quirky, sexual thing Where D is dick I was just actually wondering You were getting in trouble for parking your car Oh yeah No, not this guy And so Does the D, is that a middle finger?

No, the index The index, your pointy finger Yeah, no, but you sit that on the F and the J As long as you go back Thumbs on spacebar As long as you go back with your index to the F and the J You can move them wherever you want like the yeah but whatever i don't know how whatever's comfortable i think yeah and then you

go from there that's how i learned to yeah yeah anyway so i'm working away i'm working away there yeah mavis beacon teachers time to make uh preparation preparating for the show and the fire alarm goes off in my building oh god and i that thing. And I'm like, oh, for F's sake, keep working because I'm just like, ugh. And it still goes. And I'm like, okay, well, I better evacuate the building because there has been, has been given a warning before. It's all your durries you're smoking in your bed. Post-coitus.

Because there's like, um, Renault's going on upstairs. So they always. Jib dust sets it off. It always, yeah, jib dust gets in and there's always false alarms. Anyway, go downstairs. And that's when I see people with fucking clipboards. It's a drill. Oh, you didn't even need to leave. I didn't even need to leave.

Did you grab the cat? No. Because I always check when I go... I mean, I just obviously open the door and I give it a sniff. I'm like, no fire on my level. Oh, good. Leave the cat. Detective here.

Got a detective here. Leave the cat. And then I get down and I'm just like, is this a drill? And they're like, yeah. And I'm like no fire on my level Leave the cat And then I get down and I'm just like Is this a drill? And they're like yeah And I'm like ugh You have to give them your apartment number And then I was like well I'm just going back upstairs In a half And I'm like why didn't you tell us?

And they're like because you wouldn't have come down They gotcha Of course I wouldn't That's the point I didn't want to It was the middle of the day. Everyone's at work. They're not taking off... The drill's clearly not for them.

It's for you. You know what I mean? If they were drilling to see that the alarms work, they would have let you know. But if they're drilling to see how the building would respond in case of an emergency... Yeah, but then do it at a better time when everyone's home. Oh, yeah.

Why do it at 3 o'clock in the afternoon? They're ticking off all the apartments that have evacuated. There's like five of us. But there's so many instances where I see people who are like, because we work weird hours. And before that I worked like sporadic freelance hours. But I'll be at places like out at lunch or having an afternoon drink with someone or at the gym.

And I'm always like, where's your fucking jobs? Do you know what I mean? When you're like, don't you have a job? Do you really think about that about us? No, but I'm just like, you go to a busy cafe at 10 a.m. on a weekday and you're like, go to work. What are you doing? They're probably looking at you saying the same thing.

Yeah, but I know why I'm there because I've already done my work day. Yeah. It's so weird when you see people shopping or you go to the mall because we get to go to the mall on quiet times. You're like, why is it so bloody busy? Get a job. It's getting all bloody everywhere. Go to work. Do you know, my kids had another so bloody busy? Get a job. It's getting all bloody everywhere. Get a work.

Do you know, my kids had another one of those lockdown drills, just thinking about the fires. That is wild. So the first time they did it, they didn't tell the kids they were going to do it.

And like, it was a wild move. They didn't tell the parents or nothing. Right. Like a few key teachers knew. Right. But they had to practice it

like it was happening. And, did it scare the shit out of them. They did fucking what? We had nightmares and all sorts of shit. Like it was an intense thing to put a kid through. And then so now they give us warning. Yeah. And they give the kids like a week warning out and they tell them every day, Thursday we're gonna

practice lockdown, Thursday we're gonna practice lockdown. Oh that's harrowing. And they practice it again. And this one they were just like, oh yeah we did. Yeah, yeah, yeah, in case they need to lock down the school for whatever reason. You know, like. Yeah. And they tell the little kids it's a swarm of bees but it's they were just like, oh, yeah, we do. Yeah, yeah, yeah. In case they're in lockdown in school for whatever reason, you know. Yeah. And they tell the little kids it's a swarm of bees, but it's a fucking madman. Yeah, it is a madman. Madman on the loose.

Yeah, it's a lockdown practice. Oh, God. Could they practice these things? In the first one, like, weaker nightmares, crying, like, traumatized, don't want to go to school in case they do it again. This time it was like, oh, how was lockdown? Oh, it was all good. We just lay on the mat and chatted.

So it was like, they know what to do, but without the... The panic. Oh, Jesus. Well, at least like they know what to do, but without the panic. Oh, Jesus. Well, at least you'll know what to do in the event of a fire. What are you grabbing? What are the three things you're grabbing? Now I'm staying in my apartment because it'll be a bloody. You won't trust it. You'll say it's a drill.

This is the sheep that called. What is it? The wolf. The wolf that cried sheep. No, the boy that cried wolf. The boy that cried wolf. Not the wolf in sheep's clothing. The boy who was wearing sheep's clothing and cried like a little wolf.

Yeah. Yeah. It's going to be that. And then there will be a fire and I'll be burned to a crisp. Yeah. Three things I'm grabbing. Three things. You got.

Do you get to claim. Do I get to claim your insurance if you die in a fire? No. And all your insurance stuff's burnt. Then someone's going to claim that insurance. Oh yeah. Who claims your insurance? If you die.

The insurance policy holder dies in the accident that causes the insurance. Who claims your insurance? If you die, the insurance policy holder dies in the accident that causes the insurance. And they're a sad, lonely spinster. But let's just say they've got like a, in their will, right? Yeah, that's a good, because if you died, is that, if you're the only- Does that void your insurance contact?

Because knowing insurance- Yeah, that's a great question. Or would your estate be able to claim the insurance? But you're dead. That is such a fascinating question. Or would your estate be able to claim the insurance? Surely. But you're dead. That is such a fascinating question. Surely. Because if you died, then your estate gets your property. And if your property's burnt to a crisp, then...

Well, if somebody's listening to the podcast that works in insurance or has... I'm Googling, who claims your insurance if you die in the insurance event? We don't need an expert. We've got Google. That's life insurance. Not life insurance. I don't want life insurance. I want house and contents.

House and contents. It's all paid advertising For life insurance Yeah now you're gonna get Absolutely punished I've sort of lost interest now Yeah same I kind of wish

Maybe just someone Could message us Yeah can you message us On Instagram Yeah actually That's on board too Yeah It's a lot of words

A lot of contracts I don't read this shit When it's mine And I'm signing it I'm not reading it For the no-pips at all