ZM's Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley - Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley's Lil Bitta Pod - 16th January 2024

Episode Date: January 15, 2024

On Today's Lil Bitta Pod; Producer Carwen had a Couples Massage!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Fleshborn and Hayley's Little Bit of Pod Enjoy a refreshing McCafe iced coffee available only from Macca's Great things are brewing Welcome to A Little Bit of Pod Producer Carwin, she also got a holiday Did you know they give the staff holidays? It's not just us It's shorter

I'll put that out there, it's shorter than yours That's wild man I didn't know You have to work right? The whole time It's shorter than yours. That's wild, man. I didn't know. But you have to work, right? The whole time. Like, it's a working holiday. Yeah, yeah. No, no.

I got rid of emails. I deleted it. What? And it was nice. There wasn't a lot of group chat. So you got a break from us. I muted you anyway. Wow.

You know, I didn't mute the group chat, and it was very dormant. Yeah, it was dormant. Yeah, it was dormant on the spine, like herpes. It was always there, but it wasn't flaring up. Okay, yeah, right. The chicken's pox and the shingles virus just all snuggled up beside the spinal cord. There it is. But you know, you had a lovely break and you spent some time with your mama.

I did. And because I don't usually go home for very long now, Like, I usually just pop back for a weekend or whatever. She's a big city girl now. To Hawke's Bay. Big city girl. She's too big for Hawke's Bay. And classy airfares. What?

It's expensive. Yeah. But I went for like a whole week. And so mum was like, what do you want to do? What do you feel like doing while you're here? A whole week? I couldn't do a whole week. I do it like a weekend in New Plymouth and I'm like, that's perfect.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I could, but I really love my mum. And your dad. And my dad. Yeah, the dad's always got, get forgotten.

No, but I only see that because we're talking about girly time with the mum. Right. I love my dad. But basically she was like, what do you want to do? I was like,

I can't really think of anything. So then when I get there, she's like, okay, so this is what my plan is. Mums love this shit oh she loves it she loves it this is why she had a kid every single second is um structured yeah anyways um so she was like so in the morning i thought we could like go out for a lovely brunch i was like oh this is lovely and then she's like and then i've booked us in for something and now

my mom and i have got tattoos before i thought thought, oh maybe a tattoo. She's like, I thought about tattoos and instead I booked us a couples massage. Oh! Tits out with your mum. Yeah, I was going to say. Yeah. I can imagine tits out with my mum. It would be weird as fuck.

It's been a while since you've seen them. What, Fletcher's mum tits? When was the last time you saw your mum's tits? Well, Vaughan is always messaging my mum. Something about Turkish Delight? Yes. Remember last year when Bev said to me, did you get your Turkish Delights?

And Fletcher's like, ah, I dropped them, blah, blah, blah. And he wrote it off. I saw Turkish Delights over somewhere and I got a pottle and I sent a picture to Fletcher's mum saying, I had to get my own. Yeah. And then mum was like, did he give you any? But what has this got to do with her tits?

He thinks because I'm messaging his mum about her Turkish delights. That you want to get into her Turkish delights. Yeah. Because did you, Carwin, did you see, I didn't know she was from Turkey. Turkey. Did you see your mum's babs? You would have seen side bab, right? Yeah, I didn't like purposefully look.

No. I was very aware. But then maybe you could have been like, what am I in for? You know? Yeah. Like it's a look at. Where are they heading? Where are they heading?

You know? Oh, I should have done that. Yeah. Tomorrow on the show, 10 past 8, when did you last see your mum's tits? Or your dad's tits. Or your dad's tits. Or your dad's tits. Mean when did you last see your dad's dick

Oh my god Oh my god imagine that It would be funny That's why I was laughing at myself Because when you're a kid When you're a kid You're like shallow with them Like when you're a kid

You see them walking around But then when you're an adult The uniting cordless would ring And you'd be like Mum it's fierce You'd be like bring it to me in the bath And you'd walk to me Yeah yeah yeah

But now Like it would be weird as an adult right You'd be like, bring it to me in the bath. And you'd walk in and be like. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But now, like, it would be weird as an adult, right? You'd be like, ah! Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. I feel like I could see my mom's baps. And I'll be honest, I remember what they look like.

I could literally pick them out in a lineup, I reckon. Really? I don't know why. Yeah, I reckon. Okay. Fabulous breasts. Okay, yeah. Well, she's been a Les Mills pump girl for years.

Yeah, so the pecs have always been high and tight so they've kept them up. But she's got nice big bazookas and I used to always really want them. It is a bit of a, it's a weird thing to have

with your mum, a massage. Yeah, I've had couples, I've had couples massages with Aaron, but I have had a couples massage with a friend before when we were in Bali

and the boys didn't want to join and so we went and it was the same thing. It was sort of funny, like two tables side by side and they leave and we took off our clothes and sort of like hold yourself and then go down on the table. Yeah. And then also it was a Thai massage. So like this woman was like climbing on me.

Oh my God, then they stretch you. They stretch you afterwards and the towel always falls off. So I thought I'd done a pretty good job of like covering myself slash not looking. And then all of a sudden we're sat there. Towel's fallen off. Towel's fallen off, yeah. Do you know what's weirder? You might not know this, but Vaughn's mother-in-law's given him massages.

Yeah, I couldn't. That's odd. And I'm not naked. Naked? No, no, I wasn't naked. But you're shirtless. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's touching your bare skin.

Oil? Yeah. Did you pay $5 extra for oil? Yeah, and hot stones. And hot stones. No, she's qualified. I wasn't yeah and hot stones and hot stones she's qualified I wasn't just like no I know she's qualified

yeah but it's weird as fuck I have friends that are masseuses and they would always say come get a massage from me I'm like I need an anonymous like particularly a Thai woman that's what I need

is an anonymous Thai woman I'm not going to see this woman again I'm not going to run into her anywhere I don't care if I'm pimply and hairy or whatever whatever that's too intimate from you this surprises me you're all huggy smoochy cuddly with people you know

when i'm hugging and i'd smoochy and rubbing oil as a as a fun friend way it's different i could do that when i'm receiving a service absolutely not it's like my mom used to say my mom has a friend who's a beauty therapist and she would always say to mum come get your waxes from me mum was like fuck off all right no way you just need an anonymous fresh from beauty school woman to get in rip your pubes out and leave yeah not a friend not a friend god she would rather have a tugged flap than by a new you know when they're just learning they they're just learning, they'll tug a flat. Yeah, they'll tug a flat. They'll not hold the flat taut. You've got to hold the flat taut.

You don't want a tug flat. Yeah. A taut flat. A taut flat. You've got to have a taut flat. You've got to have a taut flat. You've got to. When you're doing the scrub off Tabletop Mountain.

You don't want to slap the flat. No, no, no, no. It's got to have the hair gone before it hits the bra. And you don't want the root to flat. Oh, gosh. Come on, okay, all right. So couples massage with your mum. Yeah.

Tick. Yeah, done. Don't know if I'd do it again. What else did you do on your list? Did you go to the new Splash Planet? We didn't. Oh, you missed a trick. That would have been busy, though. That would have been.

Dressed up in Art Deco clothes. You guys love that shit or something? No, I didn't do that. Yeah, my mum does actually love that. I'm bagging on it but the the art deco festival rules it is we went to the summer sweet shop it's this lolly store where you put a glove on your hand and you can just scoop the lollies out pick a mix and you get a bowl and it costs i spent 45 dollars yeah i was gonna say that sounds expensive I've heard of that summer sweet shop

yeah and there's lovely old ladies that work there oh gorgeous well good on you for seeing your mum's paps and tune in tomorrow

for 18 when did you last see your mum's paps when they pulled you backwards the Thai ladies pulled you backwards and your tits were out

did you feel like the figurehead on an old ship yes I always do and then your mum's beside you and it's like mother and daughter

ships sailing into the unknown and the music was like these weird covers of figurehead on an old ship? Yes, I always do that. And then your mum's beside you and it's like mother and daughter ships sailing into the unknown. And the music was like these weird covers of like pop songs. Yeah, they don't have to play royalties. Tell you what,

next time you do that with your mother, I'll send my father-in-law and he can sing along to it. Yeah, perfect.